If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KNUE Tyler)   So, how do you make your living? Oh, just illegally selling deer semen   (knue.com) divider line 48
    More: Followup, Eastern District of Texas, doctoral programs, East Texas, Dr. Raymond Favero  
•       •       •

2827 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 3:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-19 07:37:36 PM  
When deer semen is outlawed, only outlaws will have deer semen.
 
Really, really freaky outlaws.
 
2012-12-19 08:40:26 PM  
FTFA: According to information presented in court, on Feb. 1, 2007, Favero acquired approximately 184 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $92,000.00 which he drew from a buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out-of-state source.  Then again, on Jan. 28, 2008, Favero acquired another 110 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $55,000.00 which he drew from another buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out of state source. 
 
I had no idea that there was a lucrative market for deer semen.  Most of the eastern half of the US is overrun with deer eating our vegetable gardens and flowers or committing suicide by motor vehicle.  Why would anyone want to artificially breed more of them when nature seems to have created an oversupply?
 
2012-12-19 09:01:37 PM  
Deer semen,
 
How are you? I am fine.
Hope you have a nice Christmas.
 
love,
shanrick
 
2012-12-19 09:01:46 PM  

reported: FTFA: According to information presented in court, on Feb. 1, 2007, Favero acquired approximately 184 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $92,000.00 which he drew from a buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out-of-state source.  Then again, on Jan. 28, 2008, Favero acquired another 110 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $55,000.00 which he drew from another buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out of state source. 
 
I had no idea that there was a lucrative market for deer semen.  Most of the eastern half of the US is overrun with deer eating our vegetable gardens and flowers or committing suicide by motor vehicle.  Why would anyone want to artificially breed more of them when nature seems to have created an oversupply?



"Straw" is a legit unit of measure = to what? TBSP, pixie stick, lid? Please, fill me in here.
I had no idea there was an illegal deer sperm market. I learn so much here.
 
2012-12-19 09:03:37 PM  

shanrick: Deer semen,
 
How are you? I am fine.
Hope you have a nice Christmas.
 
love,
shanrick



Eww, he wasn't touching Rudolph was he?
 
2012-12-19 09:14:37 PM  
Oh deer....
 
2012-12-19 09:19:59 PM  
Real go-getter, that guy.  Lotta spunk.
 
2012-12-19 09:37:55 PM  
Somewhere in the recesses of CraigsList there must be a category for this sort of thing...
 
chicago craigslist > jobs > skilled trades/artisan jobs > animals > semen extraction
 
Experienced deer semen collector.  Fast, discreet service, no questions asked.  500 bucks per buck.  I'm used to dealing with sticky situations and guarantee a satisfactory outcome. Ask about my flexible rates for other species and I'm also available for private parties upon request.
 
2012-12-19 09:41:06 PM  
According to information presented in court, on Feb. 1, 2007, Favero acquired approximately 184 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $92,000.00 which he drew from a buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out-of-state source. Then again, on Jan. 28, 2008, Favero acquired another 110 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $55,000.00 which he drew from another buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out of state source.

Here's an idea, article writers: stop including the dollar amounts if you want to discourage other people from carrying out black market deer semen transactions. You need to keep the get-rich-quick people on eBay.
 
2012-12-19 09:42:38 PM  

reported: Somewhere in the recesses of CraigsList there must be a category for this sort of thing...
 
chicago craigslist > jobs > skilled trades/artisan jobs > animals > semen extraction
 
Experienced deer semen collector.  Fast, discreet service, no questions asked.  500 bucks per buck.  I'm used to dealing with sticky situations and guarantee a satisfactory outcome. Ask about my flexible rates for other species and I'm also available for private parties upon request.

 
It's in your headlights man; aim high!


 
2012-12-19 10:33:27 PM  
Don't judge me.
 
2012-12-19 10:55:15 PM  
Ahhh, once again my little corner of Texas makes Fark...
 
At least it's not Gohmert saying something...well, Gohmert, again.
 

reported: Why would anyone want to artificially breed more of them when nature seems to have created an oversupply?


Non snarky answer, breading trophy bucks for hunting, the bigger the racks on your lease, the more you can charge for hunts.
 
2012-12-19 11:47:37 PM  

baka-san: Ahhh, once again my little corner of Texas makes Fark...
 
At least it's not Gohmert saying something...well, Gohmert, again.
 
reported: Why would anyone want to artificially breed more of them when nature seems to have created an oversupply?

Non snarky answer, breading trophy bucks for hunting, the bigger the racks on your lease, the more you can charge for hunts.

Do they serve them with a side salad and sauce?

 
2012-12-20 03:06:12 AM  
img59.imageshack.us

It's important to have a job that makes a difference.
 
2012-12-20 03:10:25 AM  
When deer semen is outlawed, only outlaws will have deer semen.
 
2012-12-20 03:13:24 AM  
The difference between Beer NutsTM and Deer Nuts is that Deer Nuts is always under a buck...
/Try the veal!
 
2012-12-20 03:13:50 AM  
By the shot or by the pint?
 
2012-12-20 03:17:52 AM  
Wild deer semen?

How did he manage to pull that off?
 
2012-12-20 03:26:56 AM  

AbbeySomeone: "Straw" is a legit unit of measure = to what? TBSP, pixie stick, lid? Please, fill me in here.
I had no idea there was an illegal deer sperm market. I learn so much here.



Yeah, no kidding. I had no idea animal semen was measured in straws. Where the hell did that idea come from?
 
2012-12-20 03:33:34 AM  

Baron Harkonnen: AbbeySomeone: "Straw" is a legit unit of measure = to what? TBSP, pixie stick, lid? Please, fill me in here.
I had no idea there was an illegal deer sperm market. I learn so much here.


Yeah, no kidding. I had no idea animal semen was measured in straws. Where the hell did that idea come from?



Well duh. You can't drink it from a glass, you'll get it in your mustache.
 
2012-12-20 03:41:24 AM  

Ikahoshi: Baron Harkonnen: AbbeySomeone: "Straw" is a legit unit of measure = to what? TBSP, pixie stick, lid? Please, fill me in here.
I had no idea there was an illegal deer sperm market. I learn so much here.


Yeah, no kidding. I had no idea animal semen was measured in straws. Where the hell did that idea come from?


Well duh. You can't drink it from a glass, you'll get it in your mustache.


I don't have a mustache, I'm shaved smooth. Eh... goodbye.
 
2012-12-20 03:46:59 AM  
Well, la-dee-da, semen-seller. Pardon me while I go and play my grand piano.
 
2012-12-20 03:58:43 AM  
Look, just DON'T ASK!

/though it's a very interesting process...
 
2012-12-20 04:01:07 AM  
That guy has balls.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:48 AM  
Yeah well, prostitution is illegal in the States, isn't it? That *should* include handjobs and animals, I say.
 
2012-12-20 04:11:59 AM  
Stag party.
 
2012-12-20 05:00:42 AM  

GentlemanJ: The difference between Beer NutsTM and Deer Nuts is that Deer Nuts is always under a buck...
/Try the veal!


The joke used to be you can't find Beer Nuts under a buck.

Inflation kind of ruined it
 
2012-12-20 05:10:21 AM  
Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you jizz in this tube tonight.
 
2012-12-20 05:29:28 AM  

dahmers love zombie: Real go-getter, that guy.  Lotta spunk.


It's a hard job, but someone has to pick up the sack. er, slack.
 
2012-12-20 05:33:07 AM  
I think "straw" is a buck "roper"

Get off my fawn!
Oh wait....
 
2012-12-20 05:40:57 AM  
Some people will do anything to make a buck.
 
2012-12-20 05:44:38 AM  

sexorcisst: Rudolf with your nose so bright, won't you jizz in this tube tonight.


Then the collector rubbed him, as he shouted out with glee, "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, I'd go down on you for free!"


/sorrysorrysorry
//you started it
 
2012-12-20 05:47:27 AM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Some people will do anything to make a buck.


Sometimes you just gotta doe what you just gotta doe.
 
2012-12-20 06:00:44 AM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Get off my fawn!
Oh wait....


Wait? Why, was that a prelude to something?
 
2012-12-20 06:09:11 AM  

AbbeySomeone: Eww, he wasn't touching Rudolph was he?


I hope not, I've seen that weird red rash on his nose. It might be radioactive even.
 
2012-12-20 06:36:08 AM  
In other news, there's a "Special Operations Unit of the Texas Parks and Wildlife Service."
 
2012-12-20 08:13:37 AM  
What the.. do you just tie em to a tree and...

Wait I dont want to know
 
2012-12-20 08:22:08 AM  
I wonder if 'illegally obtaining buck semen" involves dressing up in a doe costume and then stealing the buck's money after he's finished.
 
2012-12-20 08:45:59 AM  

fjnorton: What the.. do you just tie em to a tree and...

Wait I dont want to know


You just wander around the woods looking for old gym socks.
 
2012-12-20 09:17:43 AM  
 
2012-12-20 09:26:26 AM  
That article was pretty horribly written... I actually still have no idea what he did that was illegal. Something about transporting deer across state lines? What the fark?
 
2012-12-20 09:28:04 AM  

reported: FTFA: According to information presented in court, on Feb. 1, 2007, Favero acquired approximately 184 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $92,000.00 which he drew from a buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out-of-state source.  Then again, on Jan. 28, 2008, Favero acquired another 110 straws of whitetail deer semen valued at approximately $55,000.00 which he drew from another buck which he knew had been transported illegally from an out of state source. 
 
I had no idea that there was a lucrative market for deer semen.  Most of the eastern half of the US is overrun with deer eating our vegetable gardens and flowers or committing suicide by motor vehicle.  Why would anyone want to artificially breed more of them when nature seems to have created an oversupply?

 
IDK if this has anything to do with it, but deer farms exist, wild game is not allowed to be sold in the US, since it cant really be USDA inspected. If you see venison anything on a menu somewhere, it was either farm raised or theyre breaking the law, and not slap on the wrist stuff either. 
 
2012-12-20 11:49:14 AM  
Local guy in the TX Hill Country here has a 33 point whitetail. He was talking about "ELECTROJACKING" him....I thought that was a pretty crazy combination, masterbation and electricity.........YIKES
 
2012-12-20 12:15:32 PM  
Someone is either about to get hit by a car or is receiving a happy ending.

www.the-exponent.com

really hard to tell/
 
2012-12-20 02:01:40 PM  

the_immoral_minority: Local guy in the TX Hill Country here has a 33 point whitetail. He was talking about "ELECTROJACKING" him


How it may be done (NSFW for city folk)

Seems they could use a different, broader support for the front legs other than ropes, which could cut under the front legs on a heavy bull.
 
2012-12-20 06:47:49 PM  
I read this as "...Oh just juggling deer semen"

Maybe I need new glasses.
 
2012-12-21 02:11:47 AM  

WeenerGord: the_immoral_minority: Local guy in the TX Hill Country here has a 33 point whitetail. He was talking about "ELECTROJACKING" him

How it may be done (NSFW for city folk)

Seems they could use a different, broader support for the front legs other than ropes, which could cut under the front legs on a heavy bull.


That's so wrong, why does he keep dildoing the bull after the electricity is off and the sample collected?
 
2012-12-21 02:30:45 AM  

shiattynick: WeenerGord: the_immoral_minority: Local guy in the TX Hill Country here has a 33 point whitetail. He was talking about "ELECTROJACKING" him

How it may be done (NSFW for city folk)

Seems they could use a different, broader support for the front legs other than ropes, which could cut under the front legs on a heavy bull.

That's so wrong, why does he keep dildoing the bull after the electricity is off and the sample collected?



Yeah I wondered about that too. Any farmers or vets here who can explain that?

/Maybe the bull requested a happier ending.
 
Displayed 48 of 48 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report