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(Daily Mail)   Meanwhile, in Alabama   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 78
    More: Obvious, University of Alabama, court date  
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23546 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2012 at 2:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-19 02:09:13 PM  
9 votes:
Carry me home to bang my kin!
2012-12-19 02:08:10 PM  
7 votes:
well. damn.....can you blame him?
dailyridge.com
2012-12-19 02:33:43 PM  
6 votes:
Oh so this is the redneck kind of porn that you've been talking about.

i6.photobucket.com
2012-12-19 02:25:01 PM  
6 votes:
You pass out on a sofa in a trailer park in Alabama and you're just asking for it. 
2012-12-19 02:14:44 PM  
6 votes:
ROLL TIDE
2012-12-19 02:11:23 PM  
6 votes:
I'll bet Uncle Daddy was pissed.
2012-12-19 02:25:36 PM  
5 votes:
Now his daughtersister is gonna grow up without a fatherbrother :(
2012-12-19 02:15:17 PM  
5 votes:
The girl the brothers were fighting over was their sister.
2012-12-19 03:00:21 PM  
4 votes:
The family tree
 
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2012-12-19 02:28:16 PM  
4 votes:
See! Some states let the gays marry and this is what happens! Slippery slope!
2012-12-19 02:26:02 PM  
4 votes:
Who's filling in as Governor while they look for him?
2012-12-19 02:24:07 PM  
4 votes:
What happens in the trailer park, stays in the trailer park.
2012-12-19 02:23:32 PM  
4 votes:
Does his wallet say "bad mother farker" on it?
2012-12-19 02:23:10 PM  
4 votes:
Richard C Stanford:
Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.

Not really... in that, mom was 100% consenting, for the good of the family line you know.

i.ytimg.com
"Why... why would you show me that?"
2012-12-19 02:22:39 PM  
4 votes:
alabama - check
drunk - check
passed out -
trailer park -check
rape - check
incest - check

we have a redneck sinntella!!
2012-12-19 02:06:42 PM  
4 votes:
Hey, at least it wasn't his dad he was farking, right?
2012-12-19 02:44:33 PM  
3 votes:
What part of Kentucky is Alabama in?
2012-12-19 02:37:29 PM  
3 votes:
Old joke:

What do you call a girl from Alabama who can outrun her brothers?

A virgin.

New joke:

What do you call a boy from Alabama who can outdrink his mother?

A fugitive.

Roll Tide Roll
2012-12-19 02:30:01 PM  
3 votes:
Imagine how farked up the Confederate States Of America would be today had they successfully won the Civil War? This guy would be candidate for Attorney General!
2012-12-19 02:23:54 PM  
3 votes:
www.milibrary.org 

/sort of approve
2012-12-19 02:16:58 PM  
3 votes:
i617.photobucket.com
2012-12-19 02:10:02 PM  
3 votes:
I don't see what the big deal is. Brothers fight over girls all the time. If you get mad enough at your brother, is it really a surprise if it makes you want to sneak up on your drunk mother and pin her to the couch while you forcibly fu*k her brains out? Families don't always get along and that's okay.
2012-12-19 02:09:21 PM  
3 votes:
Alabama state motto: "Incest is best, keep it in the family"

Sis to brother: " Your dick is bigger then dads!"
Brother to sis: "Mom told me the same thing last night !"
/old joke
//older guy
2012-12-19 02:07:30 PM  
3 votes:
Dear Deirdre...
2012-12-19 01:38:57 PM  
3 votes:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
2012-12-19 06:38:49 PM  
2 votes:

o'really: I had a mildly developmentally disabled client who admitted

 
www.thewhirlingwind.com
2012-12-19 02:59:03 PM  
2 votes:
Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's just about enough internet for me today...
2012-12-19 02:55:17 PM  
2 votes:

DogPurse: According to Wikipedia you can get life for farking your sister in several states, Alabama included


This is a good reason to fark your sister only in one state. Or two, at the most. I think the legal definition of "several" is "three."
2012-12-19 02:51:56 PM  
2 votes:
How much you wanna bet there's at least 3 Confederate flags in that trailer?

\not counting the one tatooed above mom's ass crack, of course
2012-12-19 02:50:37 PM  
2 votes:
What's his Fark handle? You'll likely find him posting in one of the "gun control" threads.
2012-12-19 02:49:47 PM  
2 votes:
Billy Bob, I want to keeel yew. Mama, I want to ... eeeeeehhhhhhyyaaaa..
2012-12-19 02:48:34 PM  
2 votes:
I bet that mother farker is soooo grounded
2012-12-19 02:38:45 PM  
2 votes:
img846.imageshack.us
2012-12-19 02:29:45 PM  
2 votes:
You 'Mericans are amazing
2012-12-19 02:28:10 PM  
2 votes:

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...


Your mom made you say that.
2012-12-19 02:27:55 PM  
2 votes:
That not far from where I'm from.

I'm so proud!
2012-12-19 02:20:39 PM  
2 votes:

Thorazine: He raped his mother to get back at his brother over a girl. Makes perfect sense to me!


They left out the part where his brother is also his dad
2012-12-19 02:17:27 PM  
2 votes:

Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.


Wow, what a lucky girl. Having those two winners fighting over her and all.
2012-12-19 02:17:14 PM  
2 votes:
1. Was She Hot?
2. You spend 9 months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in.
3. MOM?
4. What was her/his Fark Handle?
5. @5 Since when do trailers have basements?
2012-12-19 02:14:10 PM  
2 votes:
He raped his mother to get back at his brother over a girl. Makes perfect sense to me!
2012-12-19 02:11:10 PM  
2 votes:
I don't think they will find him.
 
www.esquire.com
2012-12-19 02:09:51 PM  
2 votes:
The mother apparently woke up at the time of the attack and the report states that she 'tried to get away, but he held her down until he was finished.'


T M I 

www.cursorpedia.com
2012-12-19 02:09:17 PM  
2 votes:

pottie: "Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl."

Wha...?


Yeah, I was going to say something about incest being disgusting and potentially problematic from a genetic standpoint but then came that. Now I'm just going to back slowly away and try to think about something else.
2012-12-19 02:03:17 PM  
2 votes:
good job alabama! you'll break those stereotypes any day!
2012-12-19 02:02:42 PM  
2 votes:
Is his name, "Alabama Man"?
2012-12-19 04:31:11 PM  
1 votes:

no clever name here just move along: What does a mom in Alabama say after sex?

Son, get off me, you're crushing my cigarettes!


What did the girl from Alabama say after losing her virginity?

Easy! You're crushing my cigarettes Daddy!!
2012-12-19 04:17:22 PM  
1 votes:
Alabama bumper sticker: Keeping Mississippi from being in 50th place. 

You're probably not cool enough to watch this.
2012-12-19 04:05:24 PM  
1 votes:
Motherfarker Jones?
2012-12-19 04:04:20 PM  
1 votes:

HotWingConspiracy: Into the blue again: cgraves67: MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.

If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.


I love these threads... It allows me to add more people to the ignore list

You're putting him on ignore for talking about genetics?


Some people take their genetics very seriously.
2012-12-19 03:51:01 PM  
1 votes:
I had no idea there were aristocrats in Alabama.

/Aristocrats!!
2012-12-19 03:43:07 PM  
1 votes:

JackieRabbit: The Short Bald Guy from Benny Hill: Is incest a punishable crime? It sounds like he raped her but the mom wouldn't press charges. So they can charge him with incest instead? Ya, it's kind of disgusting, but is it a crime when it occurs between adults?

Rape laws are so strange. If I shoot you in anger, you don't have to press charges against me. The state will do so, without regard to your wishes and will compel you to testify against me. But if I rape you, they can only prosecute me if you ask them too. Any lawyers out there who can explain this subtle difference in the law?


I dunno. Probably because people have consensual sex all the time. I haven't really heard much about consensual shootings.
2012-12-19 03:27:06 PM  
1 votes:
The sad part is that he's not that bad looking.
2012-12-19 03:20:09 PM  
1 votes:
Yet the incest capital of America is Zeeland, Michigan... Just sayin.
2012-12-19 03:10:14 PM  
1 votes:

Wodan11: But Helms' mother later said the sex was consensual and that she forgave her son.

If it was consensual, then why did she need to forgive him?


She didn't orgasm.
2012-12-19 03:00:37 PM  
1 votes:
Hey, at least he didn't fark her in the ass. THAT would have been gross.
/and mean
2012-12-19 02:58:38 PM  
1 votes:
Police said at the time that Helms forcibly raped his mother, Vickie Helms, while she was intoxicated and passed out on the couch of their trailer park home.

Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.


I think the bible lists this as appropriate somewhere.
2012-12-19 02:56:16 PM  
1 votes:
Sweet home Alabama!
2012-12-19 02:51:55 PM  
1 votes:

DogPurse: According to Wikipedia you can get life for farking your sister in several states, Alabama included

 
 
How about for farking  your  sister? Because she seemed cool with it.
2012-12-19 02:41:29 PM  
1 votes:
He looks like Luke Skywalker in that top mugshot.
2012-12-19 02:39:43 PM  
1 votes:

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...


You're probably right. No one ever says, "I'd like to fark my mom, but I'm worried about breaking the law." Being illegal isn't going to make it stop happening, and most instances of drunken or consentual incest between adult probably go unreported except in bizarre literotica submissions.
2012-12-19 02:39:08 PM  
1 votes:
Man, that story reads like a white trash Greek tragedy.
2012-12-19 02:38:22 PM  
1 votes:
10 years for banging your mom? It's not something I would do but that seems a little harsh. Two consenting adults etc. etc...

/well, I'd bang your mom
//not mine though
2012-12-19 02:35:35 PM  
1 votes:

TheTranceFan: Richard C Stanford: Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.

I still think that was the creepiest episode ever. Season two, if I remember.



Season four actually, and I can tell you don't have no children. Maybe one day you'll learn... the pride... the love... when you know your boy will do anything for his mother.
2012-12-19 02:35:22 PM  
1 votes:
Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl
 
I'm not going to judge this guy. Who hasn't been in this situation?
 
/Hmm. I think this pasting HTML business needs a bit more work.
2012-12-19 02:30:55 PM  
1 votes:
So this girl in Alabama wants to have the family car for the night. She asks her father for the keys and he says, "Sure! But you gotta suck my dick first."
She gets down on her kness, starts to suck him off and then squeals, "Ew, Daddy! Your dick tastes like shiat!"

"Oh, that's right. Your brother has the car tonight."


/Why do all the trees in Georgia lean west?
//'Cause Alabama sucks.
2012-12-19 02:30:50 PM  
1 votes:

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...



They were put on the books in the first place to try and curb birth defects. The children born of some of these unions, especially the ones through perpetual incest, end up on the shallow end of the gene pool, and not in a funny way. Plus, it's one extra charge to throw on a POS father who rapes his 8 year old child so he spends more time away.
2012-12-19 02:30:20 PM  
1 votes:
so he got into a fight with his brother over a girl and he got with his mom.... That makes me think a couple of scenarios.
1) since his brother had claims on his sister he went for his mom
2) he got with mom to get back at his father-brother-cousin cause he wasn't going to share the family goat
2012-12-19 02:29:37 PM  
1 votes:
3.bp.blogspot.com

Sentencing, Motherfarker . . . Do you show up for it?
2012-12-19 02:27:12 PM  
1 votes:
C'mon, it can't be that bad....oh lawd!
2012-12-19 02:23:36 PM  
1 votes:
"Junior! Buther-deddy's home!"
2012-12-19 02:22:22 PM  
1 votes:

heavymetal: Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.

Wow, what a lucky girl. Having those two winners fighting over her and all.


Don't worry the girl was their 1/2 sister from another mother.
2012-12-19 02:20:29 PM  
1 votes:

iheartscotch: Is his name, "Alabama Man"?


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
Now with lip busting action!
2012-12-19 02:17:15 PM  
1 votes:

uncleacid: The girl the brothers were fighting over was their sister.


Somehow, that doesn't make this story very much worse. And that is disturbing.
2012-12-19 02:17:07 PM  
1 votes:
2012-12-19 02:10:54 PM  
1 votes:
"mother later said the sex was consensual and that she forgave her son"
 
next time, do it right!!
2012-12-19 02:07:13 PM  
1 votes:
"Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl."

Wha...?
2012-12-19 02:03:27 PM  
1 votes:
Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.
2012-12-19 02:02:36 PM  
1 votes:
Eeeewwww!
 
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