If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Meanwhile, in Alabama   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 188
    More: Obvious, University of Alabama, court date  
•       •       •

23546 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2012 at 2:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



188 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-19 01:38:57 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-19 02:02:36 PM
Eeeewwww!
 
2012-12-19 02:02:42 PM
Is his name, "Alabama Man"?
 
2012-12-19 02:03:17 PM
good job alabama! you'll break those stereotypes any day!
 
2012-12-19 02:03:27 PM
Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.
 
2012-12-19 02:03:39 PM
W
 
2012-12-19 02:04:14 PM
T
 
2012-12-19 02:04:24 PM
..rong
 
2012-12-19 02:04:48 PM
After RTFA, I must ask... why was he convicted of incest and not RAPE?

Does incest carry a bigger penalty than rape in Alabama?
 
2012-12-19 02:04:49 PM
F
 
2012-12-19 02:05:45 PM

Tedlick: After RTFA, I must ask... why was he convicted of incest and not RAPE?

Does incest carry a bigger penalty than rape in Alabama?


Mom refused to testify against him and actively claimed it was consensual so he couldn't get convicted.
 
2012-12-19 02:05:57 PM
 
2012-12-19 02:06:42 PM
Hey, at least it wasn't his dad he was farking, right?
 
2012-12-19 02:06:43 PM

skinbubble: Eeeewwww!



yes, this
 
2012-12-19 02:06:45 PM
Shoot him when you find him and leave him there. Tell everyone he got away so you don't have to fill out any paperwork.
 
2012-12-19 02:07:13 PM
"Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl."

Wha...?
 
2012-12-19 02:07:30 PM
Dear Deirdre...
 
2012-12-19 02:07:48 PM

tlchwi02: good job alabama! you'll break those stereotypes any day!

 
 
i.ytimg.com
 
He loved his mother and she loved him, and yet his story is rather grim.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mScdJURKGWM&&t=120
 
2012-12-19 02:08:10 PM
well. damn.....can you blame him?
dailyridge.com
 
2012-12-19 02:09:03 PM

netweavr:
Mom refused to testify against him and actively claimed it was consensual so he couldn't get convicted.


Ahh... okay, so I STFA (skimmed, not read)
 
2012-12-19 02:09:13 PM
Carry me home to bang my kin!
 
2012-12-19 02:09:17 PM

pottie: "Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl."

Wha...?


Yeah, I was going to say something about incest being disgusting and potentially problematic from a genetic standpoint but then came that. Now I'm just going to back slowly away and try to think about something else.
 
2012-12-19 02:09:21 PM
Alabama state motto: "Incest is best, keep it in the family"

Sis to brother: " Your dick is bigger then dads!"
Brother to sis: "Mom told me the same thing last night !"
/old joke
//older guy
 
2012-12-19 02:09:51 PM
The mother apparently woke up at the time of the attack and the report states that she 'tried to get away, but he held her down until he was finished.'


T M I 

www.cursorpedia.com
 
2012-12-19 02:10:02 PM
I don't see what the big deal is. Brothers fight over girls all the time. If you get mad enough at your brother, is it really a surprise if it makes you want to sneak up on your drunk mother and pin her to the couch while you forcibly fu*k her brains out? Families don't always get along and that's okay.
 
2012-12-19 02:10:33 PM
So if she says it was consensual does that mean she was charged with incest too?
 
2012-12-19 02:10:54 PM
"mother later said the sex was consensual and that she forgave her son"
 
next time, do it right!!
 
2012-12-19 02:11:10 PM
I don't think they will find him.
 
www.esquire.com
 
2012-12-19 02:11:23 PM
I'll bet Uncle Daddy was pissed.
 
2012-12-19 02:14:10 PM
He raped his mother to get back at his brother over a girl. Makes perfect sense to me!
 
2012-12-19 02:14:44 PM
ROLL TIDE
 
2012-12-19 02:15:17 PM
The girl the brothers were fighting over was their sister.
 
2012-12-19 02:15:38 PM
cinemaautopsy.files.wordpress.com
I was drunk, and she looked good!
 
2012-12-19 02:16:58 PM
i617.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-19 02:17:07 PM
 
2012-12-19 02:17:14 PM
1. Was She Hot?
2. You spend 9 months trying to get out and the rest of your life trying to get back in.
3. MOM?
4. What was her/his Fark Handle?
5. @5 Since when do trailers have basements?
 
2012-12-19 02:17:15 PM

uncleacid: The girl the brothers were fighting over was their sister.


Somehow, that doesn't make this story very much worse. And that is disturbing.
 
2012-12-19 02:17:27 PM

Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.


Wow, what a lucky girl. Having those two winners fighting over her and all.
 
2012-12-19 02:20:08 PM
This is why I want to move from Birmingham to Palo Alto.
 
2012-12-19 02:20:25 PM
Reverse Moabite?
 
2012-12-19 02:20:29 PM

iheartscotch: Is his name, "Alabama Man"?


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
Now with lip busting action!
 
2012-12-19 02:20:39 PM

Thorazine: He raped his mother to get back at his brother over a girl. Makes perfect sense to me!


They left out the part where his brother is also his dad
 
2012-12-19 02:22:22 PM

heavymetal: Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.

Wow, what a lucky girl. Having those two winners fighting over her and all.


Don't worry the girl was their 1/2 sister from another mother.
 
2012-12-19 02:22:39 PM
alabama - check
drunk - check
passed out -
trailer park -check
rape - check
incest - check

we have a redneck sinntella!!
 
2012-12-19 02:23:08 PM
So, chemical castration then?

/Gene pool needs some bleach.
 
2012-12-19 02:23:10 PM
Richard C Stanford:
Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.

Not really... in that, mom was 100% consenting, for the good of the family line you know.

i.ytimg.com
"Why... why would you show me that?"
 
2012-12-19 02:23:32 PM
Does his wallet say "bad mother farker" on it?
 
2012-12-19 02:23:36 PM
"Junior! Buther-deddy's home!"
 
2012-12-19 02:23:42 PM
According to Wikipedia you can get life for farking your sister in several states, Alabama included
 
2012-12-19 02:23:54 PM
www.milibrary.org 

/sort of approve
 
2012-12-19 02:24:07 PM
What happens in the trailer park, stays in the trailer park.
 
2012-12-19 02:24:11 PM
The drunker a man is, the more prone he is to screwing anything.
 
2012-12-19 02:25:01 PM
You pass out on a sofa in a trailer park in Alabama and you're just asking for it. 
 
2012-12-19 02:25:36 PM
Now his daughtersister is gonna grow up without a fatherbrother :(
 
2012-12-19 02:26:02 PM
Who's filling in as Governor while they look for him?
 
2012-12-19 02:26:29 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-19 02:26:47 PM
This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...
 
2012-12-19 02:27:12 PM
C'mon, it can't be that bad....oh lawd!
 
2012-12-19 02:27:22 PM

Richard C Stanford: Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.


I still think that was the creepiest episode ever. Season two, if I remember.
 
2012-12-19 02:27:55 PM
That not far from where I'm from.

I'm so proud!
 
2012-12-19 02:27:56 PM

mongbiohazard: So if she says it was consensual does that mean she was charged with incest too?


I am going to guess she recanted because, despite that he raped her, she still loves her son and didn't want him to be convicted of rape. You'll notice the article said "it was consensual and she forgave him". You don't "forgive" someone for consensual sex. The prosecutors probably know this, and thus they won't charge her with incest because it won't stick if she goes back to "it was rape".
 
2012-12-19 02:28:10 PM

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...


Your mom made you say that.
 
2012-12-19 02:28:16 PM
See! Some states let the gays marry and this is what happens! Slippery slope!
 
2012-12-19 02:29:11 PM

Hoopy Frood: Does his wallet say "bad mother farker" on it?


Aren't you talkin bout Shaft?
 
2012-12-19 02:29:22 PM

Krymson Tyde: That not far from where I'm from.

I'm so proud!


But your profile says you live in Washington State? Ohh... I get what you mean ;)
 
2012-12-19 02:29:37 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

Sentencing, Motherfarker . . . Do you show up for it?
 
2012-12-19 02:29:44 PM

ciberido: tlchwi02: good job alabama! you'll break those stereotypes any day!
 
 
[i.ytimg.com image 320x180]
 
He loved his mother and she loved him, and yet his story is rather grim.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mScdJURKGWM&&t=120


Came for this, leaving satisfied. Fark, you rarely fail me.
 
2012-12-19 02:29:45 PM
You 'Mericans are amazing
 
2012-12-19 02:30:01 PM
Imagine how farked up the Confederate States Of America would be today had they successfully won the Civil War? This guy would be candidate for Attorney General!
 
2012-12-19 02:30:20 PM
so he got into a fight with his brother over a girl and he got with his mom.... That makes me think a couple of scenarios.
1) since his brother had claims on his sister he went for his mom
2) he got with mom to get back at his father-brother-cousin cause he wasn't going to share the family goat
 
2012-12-19 02:30:50 PM

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...



They were put on the books in the first place to try and curb birth defects. The children born of some of these unions, especially the ones through perpetual incest, end up on the shallow end of the gene pool, and not in a funny way. Plus, it's one extra charge to throw on a POS father who rapes his 8 year old child so he spends more time away.
 
2012-12-19 02:30:55 PM
So this girl in Alabama wants to have the family car for the night. She asks her father for the keys and he says, "Sure! But you gotta suck my dick first."
She gets down on her kness, starts to suck him off and then squeals, "Ew, Daddy! Your dick tastes like shiat!"

"Oh, that's right. Your brother has the car tonight."


/Why do all the trees in Georgia lean west?
//'Cause Alabama sucks.
 
2012-12-19 02:33:43 PM
Oh so this is the redneck kind of porn that you've been talking about.

i6.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-19 02:34:47 PM

Abox: Carry me home to bang my kin!



nice.......
 
2012-12-19 02:35:22 PM
Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl
 
I'm not going to judge this guy. Who hasn't been in this situation?
 
/Hmm. I think this pasting HTML business needs a bit more work.
 
2012-12-19 02:35:35 PM

TheTranceFan: Richard C Stanford: Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.

I still think that was the creepiest episode ever. Season two, if I remember.



Season four actually, and I can tell you don't have no children. Maybe one day you'll learn... the pride... the love... when you know your boy will do anything for his mother.
 
2012-12-19 02:37:29 PM
Old joke:

What do you call a girl from Alabama who can outrun her brothers?

A virgin.

New joke:

What do you call a boy from Alabama who can outdrink his mother?

A fugitive.

Roll Tide Roll
 
2012-12-19 02:38:22 PM
10 years for banging your mom? It's not something I would do but that seems a little harsh. Two consenting adults etc. etc...

/well, I'd bang your mom
//not mine though
 
2012-12-19 02:38:45 PM
img846.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-19 02:39:08 PM
Man, that story reads like a white trash Greek tragedy.
 
2012-12-19 02:39:43 PM

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...


You're probably right. No one ever says, "I'd like to fark my mom, but I'm worried about breaking the law." Being illegal isn't going to make it stop happening, and most instances of drunken or consentual incest between adult probably go unreported except in bizarre literotica submissions.
 
2012-12-19 02:39:49 PM

mytdawg: Man, that story reads like a white trash Greek tragedy.


Really? Huh. I thought comedy. Anyway, whatever.
 
2012-12-19 02:40:54 PM

WhippingBoy: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

Your mom made you say that.


Do you have a sloped forehead?
 
2012-12-19 02:41:29 PM
He looks like Luke Skywalker in that top mugshot.
 
2012-12-19 02:41:45 PM

abhorrent1: 10 years for banging your mom? It's not something I would do but that seems a little harsh. Two consenting adults etc. etc...

/well, I'd bang your mom
//not mine though


oops. missed the whole "rape" part
 
2012-12-19 02:43:13 PM

karnal: well. damn.....can you blame him?
[dailyridge.com image 401x480]


She is quite a looker.

cig-mkr: Alabama state motto: "Incest is best, keep it in the family"

Sis to brother: " Your dick is bigger then dads!"
Brother to sis: "Mom told me the same thing last night !"
/old joke
//older guy


That is so wrong. And so funny. Nice job!
 
2012-12-19 02:44:19 PM
Seriously, why?.
 
2012-12-19 02:44:33 PM
What part of Kentucky is Alabama in?
 
2012-12-19 02:45:42 PM

karnal: well. damn.....can you blame him?
[dailyridge.com image 401x480]


Why you postin pics of skeletor up in this thread? Man stay on topic.
*blink*
*blink*
Oh, god, dear mother of...
*hruk*
 
2012-12-19 02:45:43 PM
It's nice when your home town makes the news, regardless of the reason...makes me proud to be redneck.
 
2012-12-19 02:45:48 PM

WeenerGord: Hoopy Frood: Does his wallet say "bad mother farker" on it?

Aren't you talkin bout Shaft?


l3.yimg.com
 
2012-12-19 02:46:32 PM

hbk72777: The mother apparently woke up at the time of the attack and the report states that she 'tried to get away, but he held her down until he was finished.'


T M I 

[www.cursorpedia.com image 128x128]

 
Finally someone answered my damn question!

www.iconsoffright.com
 
2012-12-19 02:47:21 PM
Police said at the time that Helms forcibly raped his mother, Vickie Helms

YOU GONNA
screeninvasion.com
GIVE GREAT HELMET
 
2012-12-19 02:48:34 PM
I bet that mother farker is soooo grounded
 
2012-12-19 02:49:47 PM
Billy Bob, I want to keeel yew. Mama, I want to ... eeeeeehhhhhhyyaaaa..
 
2012-12-19 02:50:37 PM
What's his Fark handle? You'll likely find him posting in one of the "gun control" threads.
 
2012-12-19 02:51:01 PM

Dear Jerk: Billy Bob, I want to keeel yew. Mama, I want to ... eeeeeehhhhhhyyaaaa..


And that's a wrap.
 
2012-12-19 02:51:34 PM

Hoopy Frood: WeenerGord: Hoopy Frood: Does his wallet say "bad mother farker" on it?

Aren't you talkin bout Shaft?

[l3.yimg.com image 360x244]


Copycat
 
2012-12-19 02:51:55 PM

DogPurse: According to Wikipedia you can get life for farking your sister in several states, Alabama included

 
 
How about for farking  your  sister? Because she seemed cool with it.
 
2012-12-19 02:51:56 PM
How much you wanna bet there's at least 3 Confederate flags in that trailer?

\not counting the one tatooed above mom's ass crack, of course
 
2012-12-19 02:53:57 PM

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...


I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.
 
2012-12-19 02:54:03 PM
Is incest a punishable crime? It sounds like he raped her but the mom wouldn't press charges. So they can charge him with incest instead? Ya, it's kind of disgusting, but is it a crime when it occurs between adults?
 
2012-12-19 02:55:17 PM

DogPurse: According to Wikipedia you can get life for farking your sister in several states, Alabama included


This is a good reason to fark your sister only in one state. Or two, at the most. I think the legal definition of "several" is "three."
 
2012-12-19 02:56:16 PM
Sweet home Alabama!
 
2012-12-19 02:58:23 PM
The law...


794.011(4)(a) Commits Sexual Battery; Victim 12 Or Older And Physically Helpless

(4) A person who commits sexual battery upon a person 12 years of age or older without that person's consent, under any of the following circumstances, commits a felony of the first degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082,s. 775.083, s. 775.084,or s. 794.0115:

(a) When the victim is physically helpless to resist.

(1) As used in this chapter:

(a) "Consent" means intelligent, knowing, and voluntary consent and does not include coerced submission. "Consent" shall not be deemed or construed to mean the failure by the alleged victim to offer physical resistance to the offender.

(e) "Physically helpless" means unconscious, asleep, or for any other reason physically unable to communicate unwillingness to an act.

(h) "Sexual battery" means oral, anal, or vaginal penetration by, or union with, the sexual organ of another or the anal or vaginal penetration of another by any other object; however, sexual battery does not include an act done for a bona fide medical purpose.

(i) "Victim" means a person who has been the object of a sexual offense.

/Wake me up before you go go
 
2012-12-19 02:58:38 PM
Police said at the time that Helms forcibly raped his mother, Vickie Helms, while she was intoxicated and passed out on the couch of their trailer park home.

Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.


I think the bible lists this as appropriate somewhere.
 
2012-12-19 02:59:03 PM
Thaaaaaaaaaaaat's just about enough internet for me today...
 
2012-12-19 03:00:21 PM
The family tree
 
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-19 03:00:37 PM
Hey, at least he didn't fark her in the ass. THAT would have been gross.
/and mean
 
2012-12-19 03:02:14 PM

MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.


If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.
 
2012-12-19 03:03:09 PM

The Short Bald Guy from Benny Hill: Is incest a punishable crime? It sounds like he raped her but the mom wouldn't press charges. So they can charge him with incest instead? Ya, it's kind of disgusting, but is it a crime when it occurs between adults?


Rape laws are so strange. If I shoot you in anger, you don't have to press charges against me. The state will do so, without regard to your wishes and will compel you to testify against me. But if I rape you, they can only prosecute me if you ask them too. Any lawyers out there who can explain this subtle difference in the law?
 
2012-12-19 03:04:19 PM
I almost forgot...

i.imgur.com

/Or, in this case, Mom
 
2012-12-19 03:04:33 PM

Richard C Stanford: Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.


A Wonderful, Wonderful analogy.
 
2012-12-19 03:05:48 PM
But Helms' mother later said the sex was consensual and that she forgave her son.

If it was consensual, then why did she need to forgive him?
 
2012-12-19 03:06:04 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Police said at the time that Helms forcibly raped his mother, Vickie Helms, while she was intoxicated and passed out on the couch of their trailer park home.

Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.

I think the bible lists this as appropriate somewhere.


Yeah but only if the girl they were fighting over is barren
 
2012-12-19 03:06:25 PM

JackieRabbit: But if I rape you, they can only prosecute me if you ask them too. Any lawyers out there who can explain this subtle difference in the law?


That's not actually the case. If they can prove the rape, they can prosecute it with or without the vicitim's help. However, without the victim being willing to testify that it was not consensual, it's damn near impossible to prove.
 
2012-12-19 03:06:56 PM
I guess then it's not a legitimate rape?
 
2012-12-19 03:09:28 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net


Approves

/hot like a song of fire
 
2012-12-19 03:10:14 PM

Wodan11: But Helms' mother later said the sex was consensual and that she forgave her son.

If it was consensual, then why did she need to forgive him?


She didn't orgasm.
 
2012-12-19 03:13:11 PM
I read the story three times and meth was not mentioned once. This is real shoddy reporting.
 
2012-12-19 03:13:38 PM
Why is it 'pleaded' guilty and not 'plead'?
 
2012-12-19 03:15:00 PM

Biff_Steel: I guess then it's not a legitimate rape?


If his parents are married, he's totally legitimate.
 
2012-12-19 03:17:08 PM

Richard C Stanford: Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.



Stop it stop it STOP IT....AIIGGGGGH.
 
2012-12-19 03:17:22 PM
Wow , not one Jim Morrison reference.
 
2012-12-19 03:18:13 PM

Evil Mackerel: Wow , not one Jim Morrison reference.


You missed it.
 
2012-12-19 03:18:58 PM
The South must secede be excised!

scottystarnes.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-19 03:20:09 PM
Yet the incest capital of America is Zeeland, Michigan... Just sayin.
 
2012-12-19 03:22:00 PM

5tr4t4: The South must secede be excised!

[scottystarnes.files.wordpress.com image 436x293]


That's some interesting geography you've got there.
 
2012-12-19 03:23:09 PM
Sad! Not a single grammar NAZI pointed out that it was mom who skipped the court date: " . . . convicted of incest with his mother who skipped court date."
 
2012-12-19 03:25:46 PM

The Muthaship: JackieRabbit: But if I rape you, they can only prosecute me if you ask them too. Any lawyers out there who can explain this subtle difference in the law?

That's not actually the case. If they can prove the rape, they can prosecute it with or without the vicitim's help. However, without the victim being willing to testify that it was not consensual, it's damn near impossible to prove.


Reasonable answer, but I just did some reading and a woman must press charges against the perp or he cannot be prosecuted -- probably for the reason you give. Some activist groups are trying to change this. But here's the catch. If a woman presses a charge of rape, she puts herself in legal jeopardy if she later wants to drop the charge and should do so only with the assistance of an attorney. In any case, she may ask that the charge be dropped, but this does not compel the prosecutor to dismiss the case. He may elect to continue with prosecution and the defendant would need to petition the court to dismiss the case.
 
2012-12-19 03:26:29 PM
So...was this a legitimate rape or an illegimate one?
 
2012-12-19 03:27:06 PM
The sad part is that he's not that bad looking.
 
2012-12-19 03:28:16 PM

sid2112: Yet the incest capital of America is Zeeland, Michigan... Just sayin.


A bunch of kids in a high school there got hundreds of free Korn shirts... Cops helped pass them out.

I wonder if Korn and incest are related...

...no pun intended.
 
2012-12-19 03:30:48 PM
<i>Police said at the time that Helms forcibly raped his mother, Vickie Helms, while she was intoxicated and passed out on the couch of their trailer park home.

Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl. </i>

/So let me get this straight. You were mad at your brother about some slut you both were banging, and to show your ire and displeasure, you decided that boning your mom while she was drunk on the couch was a fine plan? That would show him? Wow...your family is indeed redneck inbred trash. Go die.
 
2012-12-19 03:33:02 PM

megarian: sid2112: Yet the incest capital of America is Zeeland, Michigan... Just sayin.

A bunch of kids in a high school there got hundreds of free Korn shirts... Cops helped pass them out.

I wonder if Korn and incest are related...

...no pun intended.


Well Jon Davis was a victim of sexual abuse by a family member.
 
2012-12-19 03:37:40 PM

Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...


Aside from incest being illegal to try to cull out breeding up kids with 4 thumbs and room temperature IQs, there can also be a problem establishing if the relationship is truly consensual. If a parent sexually abuses a child (but doesn't get caught) the relationship can become twisted. From the child's point of view, having sex with their parent is normal and loving and not wrong at all. When the child becomes an adult the sexual relationship may continue and look like "two consenting adults" when it's actually based on a warped and abusive childhood. Also it's icky.
 
2012-12-19 03:38:43 PM
Don't want to click ... don't want to click ... don't want to click
 
2012-12-19 03:39:24 PM
Their family tree must look like a telephone pole.
 
2012-12-19 03:42:19 PM
Hey, they're both consenting adults, right? MARRIAGE EQUALITY FOR ALL!

/sarcasm
 
2012-12-19 03:42:45 PM

Deman: megarian: sid2112: Yet the incest capital of America is Zeeland, Michigan... Just sayin.

A bunch of kids in a high school there got hundreds of free Korn shirts... Cops helped pass them out.

I wonder if Korn and incest are related...

...no pun intended.

Well Jon Davis was a victim of sexual abuse by a family member.


Yeah... That song kinda traumatized me. I liked Korn a while ago (haven't slept with any family members). I lost interest when their bass player found Jesus.
 
2012-12-19 03:43:07 PM

JackieRabbit: The Short Bald Guy from Benny Hill: Is incest a punishable crime? It sounds like he raped her but the mom wouldn't press charges. So they can charge him with incest instead? Ya, it's kind of disgusting, but is it a crime when it occurs between adults?

Rape laws are so strange. If I shoot you in anger, you don't have to press charges against me. The state will do so, without regard to your wishes and will compel you to testify against me. But if I rape you, they can only prosecute me if you ask them too. Any lawyers out there who can explain this subtle difference in the law?


I dunno. Probably because people have consensual sex all the time. I haven't really heard much about consensual shootings.
 
2012-12-19 03:45:34 PM

Thorazine: He raped his mother to get back at his brother over a girl. Makes perfect sense to me!



I guess....if your mom was already your aunt's brother's sister's cousin, probably it would...
 
2012-12-19 03:45:49 PM
OK guys think! How can we blame this on Guns? There must be a way...
 
2012-12-19 03:49:54 PM
What does a mom in Alabama say after sex?

Son, get off me, you're crushing my cigarettes!
 
2012-12-19 03:50:27 PM

cgraves67: MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.

If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.



I love these threads... It allows me to add more people to the ignore list
 
2012-12-19 03:51:01 PM
I had no idea there were aristocrats in Alabama.

/Aristocrats!!
 
2012-12-19 03:52:44 PM
Wait, people. Was it his biological mother, the one he'd always known, or some hot step-mama who became a part of his life when he was 15? It seems like that would make a SMALL difference in the "ick" factor.

According to photos, the dude was kinda hot, IMO. Wonder if he has boyfriend frustrations??
 
2012-12-19 03:55:43 PM

Into the blue again: cgraves67: MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.

If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.


I love these threads... It allows me to add more people to the ignore list


You're putting him on ignore for talking about genetics?
 
2012-12-19 03:58:02 PM
theres a link on that page of Texas cops giving cavity searches to two women.... on the side of the road!
didn't find anything. ok ladies, on your way then!
 
2012-12-19 04:02:51 PM

hermitage_deux: theres a link on that page of Texas cops giving cavity searches to two women.... on the side of the road!
didn't find anything. ok ladies, on your way then!


Look a few headlines back. Fun thread.
 
2012-12-19 04:04:20 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Into the blue again: cgraves67: MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.

If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.


I love these threads... It allows me to add more people to the ignore list

You're putting him on ignore for talking about genetics?


Some people take their genetics very seriously.
 
2012-12-19 04:05:24 PM
Motherfarker Jones?
 
2012-12-19 04:07:47 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Into the blue again: cgraves67: MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.

If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.


I love these threads... It allows me to add more people to the ignore list

You're putting him on ignore for talking about genetics?


I'm confused myself. My whole point is that making laws against incest prevents incest about as much as making laws against butt sex prevents butt sex. The penis wants what the penis wants. I'm not endorsing incest, I'm criticizing the reasoning behind laws that we have.
 
2012-12-19 04:10:56 PM

Fuggin Bizzy: Really? Huh. I thought comedy. Anyway, whatever.


Not really that far apart in the grand scheme of things...
 
2012-12-19 04:11:43 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Wodan11: But Helms' mother later said the sex was consensual and that she forgave her son.

If it was consensual, then why did she need to forgive him?

She didn't orgasm.


Cold mother syndrome. No wonder the poor boy is troubled.
 
2012-12-19 04:17:22 PM
Alabama bumper sticker: Keeping Mississippi from being in 50th place. 

You're probably not cool enough to watch this.
 
2012-12-19 04:20:04 PM

HotWingConspiracy: Into the blue again: cgraves67: MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.

If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.


I love these threads... It allows me to add more people to the ignore list

You're putting him on ignore for talking about genetics?


I am confused also. And amused. but mostly amused.
 
2012-12-19 04:31:11 PM

no clever name here just move along: What does a mom in Alabama say after sex?

Son, get off me, you're crushing my cigarettes!


What did the girl from Alabama say after losing her virginity?

Easy! You're crushing my cigarettes Daddy!!
 
2012-12-19 04:36:27 PM

Into the blue again: cgraves67: MadMattressMack: Moonfisher: This may be an unpopular opinion, but incest laws should go away. Is it gross as all fark? Yes. Should it be illegal? Probably not. I think to some degree these laws persist so they can charge child molesters with additional violations, which I could get behind. But if this was consensual and they were both adults, well...

I thought it was for the good of the gene pool and the well being of potential children.

If you want your mom that bad enough to break taboo and the law, you don't care about the gene pool. THe law is not going to prevent incest.

Also, it takes several consistant generations of incest to start producing noticable genetic problems. A little on the side with your sister isn't going to be a problem unless your dad is your uncle and your grandpa is your great uncle too.


I love these threads... It allows me to add more people to the ignore list


You love to add people to ignore when they try to explain genetics to you? What the fark do you do if they try to explain evolution, strangle and sexually assault their cat? "Oh noes, someone's trying to educate me, better shut them up so I can wallow in the filth of my own ignorance". Don't forget, vote republican!
 
2012-12-19 04:37:15 PM

Pair-o-Dice: no clever name here just move along: What does a mom in Alabama say after sex?

Son, get off me, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the girl from Alabama say after losing her virginity?

Easy! You're crushing my cigarettes Daddy!!


What did the dad from Alabama say after sex?

Son, could you tell your sister to go easy on the perfume, tell your mother to brush her teeth, tell your uncle to shave his mustache and for the love of God, trim the dog's damn nails!
 
2012-12-19 04:39:27 PM

No Such Agency: Richard C Stanford:
Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.

Not really... in that, mom was 100% consenting, for the good of the family line you know.

[i.ytimg.com image 480x360]
"Why... why would you show me that?"


What was that song they kept playing?
 
2012-12-19 04:42:47 PM

Salmon: You 'Mericans are amazing


You must have British roots.
 
2012-12-19 04:48:39 PM
What position does he play on the team? Wonder how many times Roll Tide was screamed during that "encounter" as well.
 
2012-12-19 04:49:10 PM
Ooh inappropriate sex thread - five times the normal Fark comments!
 
2012-12-19 04:49:20 PM

Tedlick: Does incest carry a bigger penalty than rape in Alabama?


It's a Republican state. She was asking for it.
 
2012-12-19 04:52:14 PM

Tedlick: After RTFA, I must ask... why was he convicted of incest and not RAPE?

Does incest carry a bigger penalty than rape in Alabama?


Sounds like the mom changed her mind and didn't want to press charges on her new man.
 
2012-12-19 04:56:02 PM
So, for once, MF applies ... ?
 
2012-12-19 04:56:18 PM
No animals were harmed, to the best of our knowledge.
 
2012-12-19 05:20:56 PM
Also known as in Alabama as "just another Wednesday"
 
2012-12-19 05:27:41 PM
I think I finally found the answer to the old Alabama version of that riddle:

Brothers and sisters I have none, but this man's mother is...
 
2012-12-19 05:56:28 PM
FTFA: Albertville, Alabama - a tiny town of roughly 25,000 people

That's not a tiny town. That's a frakkin' metropolis compared to where I'm located! C'mon DM.
 
2012-12-19 05:59:10 PM

The Short Bald Guy from Benny Hill: Pair-o-Dice: no clever name here just move along: What does a mom in Alabama say after sex?

Son, get off me, you're crushing my cigarettes!

What did the girl from Alabama say after losing her virginity?

Easy! You're crushing my cigarettes Daddy!!

What did the dad from Alabama say after sex?

Son, could you tell your sister to go easy on the perfume, tell your mother to brush her teeth, tell your uncle to shave his mustache and for the love of God, trim the dog's damn nails!


Q: What's the definition of foreplay in Alabama?
A: "Hey Mom, wake up!"

Q: How do you circumcise a boy from Alabama?
A: Kick his Mom in the jaw.
 
2012-12-19 06:01:10 PM
Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl.

The battle of Helm's Deep is over; the battle for Middle Earth is about to begin.
 
2012-12-19 06:04:24 PM
I had a mildly developmentally disabled client who admitted to me that he used to rape his mom when she was passed out in a drunken stupor.

*hork*
 
2012-12-19 06:18:15 PM
Subbsey, do you live in Yugoslavia or something?
Is the only American news they allow you to read is the Daily Mail from Britland?
You couldn't find a story about something (I assume its actually Alabama, because I'm not clicking a DF link to read the article) happening in Alabama from a local Alabama source?
 
2012-12-19 06:22:23 PM
Obviously, it wasn't rape. Her body would have been able to shut down or defend itself had it not been consensual.

/amIdoingthisright?
 
2012-12-19 06:38:49 PM

o'really: I had a mildly developmentally disabled client who admitted

 
www.thewhirlingwind.com
 
2012-12-19 06:49:15 PM

moviemarketing: Thorazine: He raped his mother to get back at his brother over a girl. Makes perfect sense to me!

They left out the part where his brother is also his dad


lol
 
2012-12-19 06:51:31 PM

Richard C Stanford: Anyone else reminded of that X-Files episode. You know, Home.


More like D.P.O.
 
2012-12-19 07:12:07 PM
Capefear, would high-functioning be more descriptive? He knew what he was doing was wrong. I wonder if his mom knew he was doing it?
 
2012-12-19 07:23:10 PM
Waffle House is going to be shortstaffed for the holidays
 
2012-12-19 07:48:57 PM

CapeFearCadaver: o'really: I had a mildly developmentally disabled client who admitted
 
[www.thewhirlingwind.com image 320x240]



oh LOL
 
2012-12-19 07:55:33 PM

o'really: Capefear, would high-functioning be more descriptive? He knew what he was doing was wrong. I wonder if his mom knew he was doing it?



encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-19 08:30:53 PM
Has anybody mentioned he's a mother-farker?
 
2012-12-19 08:38:37 PM
Mother-rapers sittin' right next to me on the group W bench...
 
Just farking sterilize it, before it has a chance to further pollute the gene pool.
 
2012-12-19 09:36:34 PM
Anyone from Seattle cracking on bama needs to read the linked stories at the bottom of the page and STFU
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2247156/Half-siblings-arreste d -police-smoking-meth-car-baby-seat.html
 
2012-12-19 09:40:22 PM

xxdonjulioxx: Anyone from Seattle cracking on bama needs to read the linked stories at the bottom of the page and STFU


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-19 10:08:27 PM
Wow, what a mama's boy.
 
Displayed 188 of 188 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report