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(Patch)   Teen stopped for shoplifting gives cops her real name and fake birthday. Then her Mom interrupts with a fake name and a fake birthday. Then the girl gives another fake birthday and the fake name. Probably would have been easier just to buy everything   (patch.com) divider line 133
    More: Dumbass, personal name, interrupts, mothers, fake birthday  
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8088 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2012 at 11:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-19 09:46:25 AM
They were shopping at Walmart, did you think they'd be smart enough to know how to lie?
 
2012-12-19 10:11:34 AM
Mensa's calling.
 
2012-12-19 10:11:48 AM
So we're considering Lavera a real name now? Is her middle name Tori? Also, anyone under the age of 16 can shoplift with impunity?
 
2012-12-19 11:33:02 AM

CreamFilling: So we're considering Lavera a real name now? Is her middle name Tori? Also, anyone under the age of 16 can shoplift with impunity?

 
 
A woman who gives her daughter that name, and lies to the cops that much, is not someone to take legal advice from.
 
(no, being 16 doesn't mean you cannot be arrested).
 
2012-12-19 11:40:03 AM
the teen's mother jumped in and argued her daughter's name was actually "Kimberly" and that she was born on "02/01/1994.
 
That didn't scare Little Bill though, did it?  
 
2012-12-19 12:00:19 PM
Obviously she gave wrong information...she didn't even *know* who her daddy was.
 
2012-12-19 12:00:26 PM

CreamFilling: So we're considering Lavera a real name now? Is her middle name Tori? Also, anyone under the age of 16 can shoplift with impunity?

 
 
It's a bid for an update of that 70/80s sitcom, Laverne and Shirley.   In this case, it'll be Lavera and Surelay
 
2012-12-19 12:00:33 PM
"Probably would have been easier just to buy everything."

Crazy talk. They're owed, dang it.
 
2012-12-19 12:02:07 PM
www.judithgeiger.com
 
2012-12-19 12:02:39 PM
"Oy! When's your birthday?"

"22nd of February."

"What year?"

"Every year!"

"Get out!"
 
2012-12-19 12:03:53 PM

JohnAnnArbor: "Probably would have been easier just to buy everything."

Crazy talk. They're owed, dang it.



"Ya'all jes go right on and take whatevers ya wants."
 
www.flpundit.com
 
2012-12-19 12:04:10 PM
You can't spell class without "ass"
 
2012-12-19 12:04:26 PM
"The deputy spoke again with the mother who this time reportedly told him Kimberly and Lavera were twins and that Kimberly was 18 but Lavera was not."

Comedy gold.
 
2012-12-19 12:05:18 PM
Sometimes it's really hard not to be racist.
 
2012-12-19 12:06:02 PM
I am guessing they are Attractive and Successful.
 
2012-12-19 12:06:14 PM
You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well,....
 
2012-12-19 12:07:35 PM
CSB time:

Was fishing without a license with some buddies, and one of my buddies' 16 year old brother, on a break from college. Typically we never see a game warden, we were home for like 4 days and just decided to chance it. So of course here comes the game warden, so I tell my buddy's brother to just say he's 15 (no license needed), to avoid the ticket.

Game warden asks for IDs and of course he pulls out his license AS he tells the warden "I'm only 15 so I shouldn't need a license!"

The "how stupid are you exactly?" look on the warden's face was hilarious.

/When lying to law enforcement......don't be stupid
 
2012-12-19 12:07:35 PM

CreamFilling: So we're considering Lavera a real name now?


French for "the truth," so as you can see you aren't allowed to investigate her for anything. Because how could she lie.

Is her middle name Tori? Also, anyone under the age of 16 can shoplift with impunity?

cdn100.iofferphoto.com
 
2012-12-19 12:07:41 PM
Her mom was making her steal Sharpies® 
 
o5.aolcdn.com
 
2012-12-19 12:09:23 PM
To determine her exact age, they should just cut her in half and count the rings...
 
2012-12-19 12:10:18 PM
Stupid racist comments.
 
2012-12-19 12:10:44 PM
Notice how the media like to call them 'teens' to hide what they really are?
 
2012-12-19 12:10:55 PM
He said the mother then claimed the teen was only 15 and threatened to sue the deputy, he said. 
 
The Aristocrats.
 
2012-12-19 12:10:55 PM

pbrews: "The deputy spoke again with the mother who this time reportedly told him Kimberly and Lavera were twins and that Kimberly was 18 but Lavera was not."

Comedy gold.


I can't imagine trying to keep a straight face as a police officer in some of these situations.
 
2012-12-19 12:14:07 PM
Momma should've slapped those pigs upside the head for disrespecting her.
 
2012-12-19 12:15:43 PM
"When I again explained that the [date of birth] she gave me would make her 18-years-old, she again appeared to be counting in her head, and when she could not come up with an answer, she and [the mother] started crying uncontrollably and would no longer answer my questions,"

i261.photobucket.com

"COME ON MATH, YOU DICK!"
 
2012-12-19 12:16:16 PM

pbrews: "The deputy spoke again with the mother who this time reportedly told him Kimberly and Lavera were twins and that Kimberly was 18 but Lavera was not."

Comedy gold.


Humm, so Lavera is a time traveler?
 
2012-12-19 12:16:34 PM

You Are All Sheep: pbrews: "The deputy spoke again with the mother who this time reportedly told him Kimberly and Lavera were twins and that Kimberly was 18 but Lavera was not."

Comedy gold.

I can't imagine trying to keep a straight face as a police officer in some of these situations.


I would have been tempted to start an elaborate explanation of how what she said COULD be true medically (either with twins born near midnight or one twin born premature and the other arriving days/weeks later), but that it's really rare.

Because I'm a nerd and not a cop.
 
2012-12-19 12:16:42 PM
FTA - "When I again explained that the [date of birth] she gave me would make her 18-years-old, she again appeared to be counting in her head, and when she could not come up with an answer, she and [the mother] started crying uncontrollably and would no longer answer my questions," the deputy wrote.

Look, kids. You say, "I'll never use math once I'm done with school" and that's just not true.

To be fair, if you start crying during a math test, you usually get some leeway with the teacher/professor.

/GIS gave me this for "math is hard" and it fits too well not to post it:

thestrangestbrew.com
 
2012-12-19 12:20:06 PM

special20: Stupid Spot on racist comments.

 
2012-12-19 12:21:04 PM

Barfmaker: the teen's mother jumped in and argued her daughter's name was actually "Kimberly" and that she was born on "02/01/1994.
 
That didn't scare Little Bill though, did it?


Ok you made me laugh at work, congratulations. To be fair I already was holding in so much from the article, especially "When I again explained that the [date of birth] she gave me would make her 18-years-old, she again appeared to be counting in her head, and when she could not come up with an answer, she and [the mother] started crying uncontrollably and would no longer answer my questions," the deputy wrote. plus the twin part
 
2012-12-19 12:21:54 PM
*clicks link*

*closes*

yup
 
2012-12-19 12:22:12 PM

paswa17: To be fair, if you start crying during a math test, you usually get some leeway with the teacher/professor.


As a sub teacher during a math test, I had a fairly well-developed female eighth-grader come up to the desk, lean over a bit too far, and ask how to do a problem. She was VERY peeved when I said that it was part of the test. I later asked the real teacher (who had been my teacher fifteen years earlier) if she was surprised that student used her body to try to get an answer. The reply was "not at all."
 
2012-12-19 12:22:49 PM
"When am I ever gonna need to do math without a calculator."
 
2012-12-19 12:24:21 PM

paswa17: /GIS gave me this for "math is hard" and it fits too well not to post it:



Shopping implies an intent to pay for the merchandise you take home.
 
2012-12-19 12:25:22 PM
Was it a lie that made it a felony? Or did she just manage to steal something really expensive?
 
2012-12-19 12:26:08 PM

special20: Stupid racist comments.


www.troll.me www.troll.me
 
 
2012-12-19 12:26:16 PM
csb
once busted a gal for stealing 2 left shoes
/csb
 
2012-12-19 12:26:44 PM
It's amazing the number of times you find that a teen or non-adult shoplifter has been raised under the same values from his/her POS breeders.

Especially in some sub-cultures or minority groups. Well, one.
 
2012-12-19 12:27:04 PM
17 and can't do basic math to figure out what age she's supposed to lie to be...

Third grade calling, they would like to tell you something.
 
2012-12-19 12:27:12 PM

Deman: Was it a lie that made it a felony? Or did she just manage to steal something really expensive?


500$ worth of shiat. Sounds like a felony.
 
2012-12-19 12:27:42 PM
Perhaps they spent time in a spaceship and undergone time dilation relative to us earth-bound humans.

That would explain everything. They're genius physicists. Leave em alone.
 
2012-12-19 12:27:46 PM

Deman: Was it a lie that made it a felony? Or did she just manage to steal something really expensive?


Said $500 worth of stuff in article.
 
2012-12-19 12:27:51 PM

DaCaptain19: It's amazing the number of times you find that a teen or non-adult shoplifter has been raised under the same values from his/her POS breeders.

Especially in some sub-cultures or minority groups. Well, one.


Romani gypsies?
 
2012-12-19 12:28:02 PM
The amount of Dhimmitude in this thread is disturbing, even for fark.
 
2012-12-19 12:29:26 PM

DaCaptain19: It's amazing the number of times you find that a teen or non-adult shoplifter has been raised under the same values from his/her POS breeders.

Especially in some sub-cultures or minority groups. Well, one.


That would be the poor subculture. My white cousins busted for shoplifting can attest to that.
 
2012-12-19 12:29:44 PM

Deman: Was it a lie that made it a felony? Or did she just manage to steal something really expensive?


TFA said that the security guard saw them try to steal more than $500 worth of merchandise.   I'd assume that's the demarcation point for felony theft.
 
2012-12-19 12:30:44 PM
Cop was tipped off by the lack of apostrophes and/or hyphens in the name.
 
2012-12-19 12:31:17 PM
My God, those are two stupid n*ggers. And judging by the fact the was a small child with them, these retards have procreated yet again. God help us.
 
2012-12-19 12:31:28 PM

JohnAnnArbor: Deman: Was it a lie that made it a felony? Or did she just manage to steal something really expensive?

Said $500 worth of stuff in article.


Ah for some season I thought 1000$ was the goalpost for a felony
 
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