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(Slate)   Welcome to the Maya Notpocalypse™, featuring the phrase taurine feces™   (slate.com) divider line 58
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6021 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2012 at 12:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-19 09:46:36 AM
Here's what you need to know after Friday: Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, cut a deal with a dragon.
 
2012-12-19 10:37:52 AM
What grinds my gears about this whole dealie is that damn REM song gets played the shiat out of whenever these things come along. I'm starting to wonder if they aint the ones starting these rumors for the royalty monies.
 
2012-12-19 11:00:16 AM
Notpocalypsemageddonacaust?
 
2012-12-19 12:34:44 PM
Anyone know what the next doomsday is supposed to be once Saturday arrives?
 
2012-12-19 12:37:54 PM
Everyone's been so snarky about this Mayan end of the world thing, that I'm beginning to hope that it actually happens.
 
2012-12-19 12:40:38 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-19 12:43:11 PM

CarnySaur: Everyone's been so snarky about this Mayan end of the world thing, that I'm beginning to hope that it actually happens.


There's not really gonna be an 'end of the world' as we think we know it, but there will be plenty of crazies, very likely, that will go on a shooting spree that will be triggered by the idea that is the end of the world. It'll be like a world-wide lunacy. Which is funny, because the moon hold little to no effect on people, but social constructs (such as the end of the world) do hold some measure of control on human actions.
 
2012-12-19 12:46:03 PM

Sybarite: Here's what you need to know after Friday: Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, cut a deal with a dragon.


I want my smartgun, damn it.
 
2012-12-19 12:46:16 PM

had98c: Anyone know what the next doomsday is supposed to be once Saturday arrives?


Sunday.
 
2012-12-19 12:47:32 PM

had98c: Anyone know what the next doomsday is supposed to be once Saturday arrives?


That would be 3015, according to Nostradamus.
 
2012-12-19 12:49:32 PM
At this point, the only way the world will end is if some idiot, believing that the world is going to end, does something or other to make it end: in other words, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Fortunately, there's pretty much no overlap between the set of people who believe the world is going to end versus the set of people who actually have some ability to do something that could theoretically cause the world to end in some sense. End result: I'm not worried.
 
2012-12-19 12:53:03 PM

had98c: Anyone know what the next doomsday is supposed to be once Saturday arrives?


There's probably something sooner, but January 2038 is when the Unix time_t rolls over (Y2K-style doomsday).

Feb 5, 2040 is a possible asteroid impact, although it's low probability and only 100 megatons. It would have to hit something like the Yellowstone supervolcano or the Canary islands to get into the apocalypse category.
 
2012-12-19 12:53:42 PM

Sybarite: Here's what you need to know after Friday: Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, cut a deal with a dragon.


What you did there
home.earthlink.net
Your active camouflage can't hide it from me
 
2012-12-19 12:59:30 PM
To score this apocalypse may require negative numbers.

www.trampolining-online.co.uk
 
2012-12-19 01:02:34 PM
Taurins? Carine's dead though.
 
2012-12-19 01:02:49 PM

Millennium: At this point, the only way the world will end is if some idiot, believing that the world is going to end, does something or other to make it end: in other words, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Fortunately, there's pretty much no overlap between the set of people who believe the world is going to end versus the set of people who actually have some ability to do something that could theoretically cause the world to end in some sense. End result: I'm not worried.


Besides, we'll have Templars if the world Does end.

fc00.deviantart.net
 
2012-12-19 01:03:47 PM

Ivo Shandor: There's probably something sooner, but January 2038 is when the Unix time_t rolls over (Y2K-style doomsday).


And that's only on 32-bit systems. On a lot of 64-bit ones, sizeof(time_t) is already 8 bytes - which literally gives you all the time in the world.
 
2012-12-19 01:05:56 PM
heh heh heh... think i'll start using taurine feces... which do you prefer: "this is taurine fecal matter!" or "this is taurine feces!"
 
2012-12-19 01:09:21 PM

pute kisses like a man: heh heh heh... think i'll start using taurine feces... which do you prefer: "this is taurine fecal matter!" or "this is taurine feces!"


It's like choosing between two bowls of shiat.
 
2012-12-19 01:21:50 PM

lemurs: Ivo Shandor: There's probably something sooner, but January 2038 is when the Unix time_t rolls over (Y2K-style doomsday).

And that's only on 32-bit systems. On a lot of 64-bit ones, sizeof(time_t) is already 8 bytes - which literally gives you more than all the time in the world.


A signed 64-bit time_t can represent times long before the big bang and times so far in the future that modern physics can't predict whether the universe will still exist by then.
 
2012-12-19 01:27:01 PM

CygnusDarius: pute kisses like a man: heh heh heh... think i'll start using taurine feces... which do you prefer: "this is taurine fecal matter!" or "this is taurine feces!"

It's like choosing between two bowls of shiat.


hey, wash it down with some redbull and who gives a crap?
 
2012-12-19 01:32:27 PM

Anthracite: Taurins? Carine's dead though.


Cairne. FTFY.

/farking Garrosh!
 
2012-12-19 01:41:11 PM
I am so looking forward to the weekend. I will no longer have to listen to this stupid non-Mayan fairy tale again.

Especially if it happens.
 
2012-12-19 01:42:15 PM

CygnusDarius: CarnySaur: Everyone's been so snarky about this Mayan end of the world thing, that I'm beginning to hope that it actually happens.

There's not really gonna be an 'end of the world' as we think we know it, but there will be plenty of crazies, very likely, that will go on a shooting spree that will be triggered by the idea that is the end of the world. It'll be like a world-wide lunacy. Which is funny, because the moon hold little to no effect on people, but social constructs (such as the end of the world) do hold some measure of control on human actions.



Ya mean, like some young'un of a doomsday prepper, steeped in "end of the world' paranoia, by his mother? Where he could use her guns to kill her and 26 others at a school, so they wouldn't have to face the 'end of the world'? After shooting them, he realizes that there are too many people in the world to save them all, so offs himself? Yeah, that could happen.
 
/too soon?
//check your neighbor
///especially, check your LEO they have guns issued to them)
 
2012-12-19 01:43:05 PM
I'd post a longer, wittier reply but I am too busy stockpiling my shelter in preparation for Friday. Does anyone know exactly what time I can expect the fireworks?
 
2012-12-19 01:50:53 PM

silvervial: Anthracite: Taurins? Carine's dead though.

Cairne. FTFY.

/farking Garrosh!


We'll take care of Garrosh once we have enough people in full sets of raid level gear.

But who is going to be the next Warchief? Will it be Sylvanas? Is this why the mysterious "No one has seen Alleria or Turalyon in years" tooltip occasionally appears on the MoP loading screen? Will Alleria be needed to keep Sylvanas under control?

/Stay tuned for the next episode of "As Azeroth Turns."
 
2012-12-19 01:51:49 PM

Demise: I'd post a longer, wittier reply but I am too busy stockpiling my shelter in preparation for Friday. Does anyone know exactly what time I can expect the fireworks?



I heard 9:12am...but they didn't say where that was at. Maybe it'll follow daybreak from the prime meridian.
 
2012-12-19 01:57:31 PM

Mikeyworld: Demise: I'd post a longer, wittier reply but I am too busy stockpiling my shelter in preparation for Friday. Does anyone know exactly what time I can expect the fireworks?


I heard 9:12am...but they didn't say where that was at. Maybe it'll follow daybreak from the prime meridian.


Yes, because the Mayans were really up on Greenwich Mean Time.
 
2012-12-19 02:00:26 PM

Sybarite: Here's what you need to know after Friday: Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, cut a deal with a dragon.


I've been telling people this since January. No one's gotten it, yet.

/Friends and I are headed to Little Bighorn Battlefield. We figure, if we're going to see The Awakening, get front-row seats.
//Until, you know, The Horrors start spilling through the Eastern section of Montana... then it's going to be interesting.
 
2012-12-19 02:03:26 PM

Surool: Mikeyworld: Demise: I'd post a longer, wittier reply but I am too busy stockpiling my shelter in preparation for Friday. Does anyone know exactly what time I can expect the fireworks?


I heard 9:12am...but they didn't say where that was at. Maybe it'll follow daybreak from the prime meridian.

Yes, because the Mayans were really up on Greenwich Mean Time.



They weren't exactly up on "End of the world" either, but you're buying into that.
 
2012-12-19 02:15:51 PM

CygnusDarius: pute kisses like a man: heh heh heh... think i'll start using taurine feces... which do you prefer: "this is taurine fecal matter!" or "this is taurine feces!"

It's like choosing between two bowls of shiat.


exactly like that!

/Bantha poodoo
 
2012-12-19 02:34:15 PM

CygnusDarius: had98c: Anyone know what the next doomsday is supposed to be once Saturday arrives?

That would be 3015, according to Nostradamus.


We'll have ruined the planet by dropping space colonies on to it by then to worry about what ever Nostradamus is talking about.

/in a Gundam mood right not
//"It would be a mistake to underestimate the Qubeley!"
 
2012-12-19 02:42:02 PM

Sybarite: Here's what you need to know after Friday: Watch your back, shoot straight, conserve ammo, and never, ever, cut a deal with a dragon.


Man, I really HOPE we get magic. That would be nice.

/Because I'm totally cracked in the head enough to be a magic user.
//And a physicist.
///Which would be a VERY FUN combination.
 
2012-12-19 02:43:40 PM

Surool: Mikeyworld: Demise: I'd post a longer, wittier reply but I am too busy stockpiling my shelter in preparation for Friday. Does anyone know exactly what time I can expect the fireworks?

I heard 9:12am...but they didn't say where that was at. Maybe it'll follow daybreak from the prime meridian.

Yes, because the Mayans were really up on Greenwich Mean Time.


I'm so amazed that so many people like yourself are buying into this fallacy of this end of the world scenario, when the event is more like a New Years Eve celebration. Nowhere does anything foretell an end of the world scenario.
 
2012-12-19 02:45:03 PM

Millennium: At this point, the only way the world will end is if some idiot, believing that the world is going to end, does something or other to make it end: in other words, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Fortunately, there's pretty much no overlap between the set of people who believe the world is going to end versus the set of people who actually have some ability to do something that could theoretically cause the world to end in some sense. End result: I'm not worried.



THIS. I would not be surprised to see an "Anonymous-style" internet attack/prank, and/or an actual terrorist act by some loony group.
 
2012-12-19 03:01:27 PM
I pray I am taken for use as an admin worker in the new Cthulhu administration.
 
2012-12-19 03:03:04 PM

Surool: I am so looking forward to the weekend. I will no longer have to listen to this stupid non-Mayan fairy tale again.

Especially if it happens.



Yeah, you will. Someone already figured out that the Mayans didn't account for leap years or something so the world will REALLY end next June. Or July. I forget how that works.
 
2012-12-19 03:14:01 PM

had98c: Anyone know what the next doomsday is supposed to be once Saturday arrives?


The Jehovah's Witness normally have one pending.
 
2012-12-19 03:23:38 PM

amindtat: silvervial: Anthracite: Taurins? Carine's dead though.

Cairne. FTFY.

/farking Garrosh!

We'll take care of Garrosh once we have enough people in full sets of raid level gear.

But who is going to be the next Warchief? Will it be Sylvanas? Is this why the mysterious "No one has seen Alleria or Turalyon in years" tooltip occasionally appears on the MoP loading screen? Will Alleria be needed to keep Sylvanas under control?

/Stay tuned for the next episode of "As Azeroth Turns."


bigbadpauldrons.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-19 03:49:21 PM
Isn't taurine that stuff they put in energy drinks?

i.imgur.com

Link


/Knows the meaning of the term "taurine feces"
//Just one of those makes my shiat come out too fast!
///Brilliant
 
2012-12-19 03:55:15 PM
I plan on going to work as usual and then roasting something- a chicken, perhaps a turkey, or maybe even a leg of lamb.
 
2012-12-19 03:57:43 PM
Crap, the apocalypse is almost here and I and I haven't gotten my flu shot. Time to hop a flight to New Zealand and hunker down in the kohanga reo.
 
2012-12-19 04:14:46 PM

Gyrfalcon: Surool: I am so looking forward to the weekend. I will no longer have to listen to this stupid non-Mayan fairy tale again.

Especially if it happens.


Yeah, you will. Someone already figured out that the Mayans didn't account for leap years or something so the world will REALLY end next June. Or July. I forget how that works.


Huh. I'd heard that because the Mayans didn't account for leap years, the world should have ended several months ago, not several months later.

It doesn't really matter, though, because the "leap year" is just our calendar's way of reconciling solar cycles with the Earth's rotation, and the actual length of a solar year doesn't change from one calendar to another.
 
2012-12-19 04:18:31 PM

Gyrfalcon: Surool: I am so looking forward to the weekend. I will no longer have to listen to this stupid non-Mayan fairy tale again.

Especially if it happens.


Yeah, you will. Someone already figured out that the Mayans didn't account for leap years or something so the world will REALLY end next June. Or July. I forget how that works.


Wrong way, dummy. The leap days would mean that the calendar end already happened.
 
2012-12-19 04:32:32 PM

Surool: I am so looking forward to the weekend. I will no longer have to listen to this stupid non-Mayan fairy tale again.

Especially if it happens.


----------------------------------------------------------

Mikeyworld: They weren't exactly up on "End of the world" either, but you're buying into that.


themasterdebater: I'm so amazed that so many people like yourself are buying into this fallacy of this end of the world scenario, when the event is more like a New Years Eve celebration. Nowhere does anything foretell an end of the world scenario.


----------------------------------------------------------

The fact you both took my snark about Mayans using/not using GMT as a sign that I buy into this crap is bad enough. If you look at my original post up top, you two would have to be f*ucking idiots to paint me as a believer. That bottom line should be an obvious enough joke for the non brain dead.
 
2012-12-19 04:36:07 PM

anfrind: Huh. I'd heard that because the Mayans didn't account for leap years, the world should have ended several months ago, not several months later.


They're pretty much big countdown timers, so the end of the b'ak'tun probably ends on Dec. 21 like TFA says it does when we map it over our own calendar. But since the Mayans invented calendars much longer than the b'ak'tun, they obviously weren't expecting the world to end at that point.
 
2012-12-19 04:36:58 PM
good article but the gallery of his top 21 astronomy photos is insane.
 
2012-12-19 04:48:44 PM
The very best suggestion that I've heard is that, after the 21st is over, we should all go outside and loudly proclaim, "The Doctor did it! The Doctor save us all!"
 
2012-12-19 04:52:40 PM

lemurs: anfrind: Huh. I'd heard that because the Mayans didn't account for leap years, the world should have ended several months ago, not several months later.

They're pretty much big countdown timers, so the end of the b'ak'tun probably ends on Dec. 21 like TFA says it does when we map it over our own calendar. But since the Mayans invented calendars much longer than the b'ak'tun, they obviously weren't expecting the world to end at that point.


There a video at Science@NASA that describes the Mayan calendar as being like an odometer, in that when the 13th b'ak'tun ends, the b'ak'tun counter just rolls over to zero and we start the furst b'ak'tun of the second piktun.

Other excellent videos I've seen to dispel the "Mayan apocalypse" myth include one by C. G. P. Grey and one starring Neil deGrasse Tyson.
 
2012-12-19 04:57:56 PM

had98c: Anyone know what the next doomsday is supposed to be once Saturday arrives?


January 20, 2013
 
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