FARK.com: (7493063) Scientists: "We can explain Rudolph's red reindeer nose". Children: "This is why we want to grow up to be gangsta rappers"

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		Scientists: "We can explain Rudolph's red reindeer nose". Children: "This is why we want to grow up to be gangsta rappers" (news.cnet.com)		43
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6004 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2012 at 3:07 AM | Favorite | share:

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cretinbob		2012-12-18 08:37:01 PM

Because guns are cool

fusillade762		2012-12-19 01:46:31 AM

Sure, but can they explain how he flies?

Lionel Mandrake		2012-12-19 02:30:14 AM

A collection of Dutch scientists contributed to a paper titled "Microcirculatory investigations of nasal mucosa in reindeer Rangifer tarandus (Mammalia, Artiodactyla, Cervidae): Rudolph's nose was overheated."

The Dutch. Again with the fkn Dutch.

AverageAmericanGuy		2012-12-19 03:09:17 AM

It's red because if it weren't red the whole story wouldn't farking work, idiots.

turbocucumber		2012-12-19 03:15:35 AM

Too much alcohol? Or a clown's red nose? Blood?

7th Son of a 7th Son		2012-12-19 03:16:01 AM

Is it pixie dust? No, it's a tumor. Is it a magical Christmas tumor?

YOU'RE GOING TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEE

SN1987a goes boom		2012-12-19 03:16:11 AM

It's a tumor.

ReapTheChaos		2012-12-19 03:19:50 AM

and I thought I had to much time on my hands...

Ayn Rand's Social Worker		2012-12-19 03:22:41 AM

Pretty sure both Rudolph and Santa were high on super mario mushrooms: Santa followed the red nosed reindeer to drink its pee and get high

Piestar		2012-12-19 03:23:20 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: It's red because if it weren't red the whole story wouldn't farking work, idiots.

It didn't have to be red, it just had to light up, your comment is fallacious, and you didn't even wear knee pads!

ciberido		2012-12-19 03:25:41 AM

SN1987a goes boom: [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 259x194]

It's a tumor.

4.bp.blogspot.com

Ayn Rand's Social Worker		2012-12-19 03:25:59 AM

fusillade762: Sure, but can they explain how he flies?

blog.joerogan.net

I can.

ciberido		2012-12-19 03:28:06 AM

fusillade762: Sure, but can they explain how he flies?

Look, if you already KNOW that I know Dasher and Dancer, and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, why do you have any doubt that I recall the most famous reindeer of all?

Valiente		2012-12-19 03:30:00 AM

Professor Frink unavailable for glevin glaben comment.

LDM90		2012-12-19 03:32:32 AM

On Donner! On Bleesen! On Chuy! On Tavo! C'mon Beto!

othmar		2012-12-19 03:43:30 AM

you know when i was in special ed you'd get in a lot of trouble for writing things like this..

while some claim their the intellectual elite, i happen to know better.

thank you. have a nice day.

sexorcisst		2012-12-19 03:52:58 AM

Scientists huh?

.....riiiiight.

KrispyKritter		2012-12-19 03:57:28 AM

Lionel Mandrake: A collection of Dutch scientists contributed to a paper titled "Microcirculatory investigations of nasal mucosa in reindeer Rangifer tarandus (Mammalia, Artiodactyla, Cervidae): Rudolph's nose was overheated."

The Dutch. Again with the fkn Dutch.

Right? It never farking fails. I don't trust them as far as I could throw them. People in the USA coast to coast whine about politicians in DC, stockbrokers on Wall St and the debt threat with the Asians. Meanwhile it's the gottdam Dutch that are the uber power threat, always have been, always will be.

Who are pulling the strings behind the Illuminati, the Masons, the knights of Columbus and every other secret handshake society around the world? The Dutch.

Who are the true power that are so high and mighty they don't have to bother showing up for the meetings with The Bilderberg Group, they just send in the instructions to be read to the 'little people'? The Dutch.

Who are behind every religion and cult as far back as can be traced, making them sole holders of more land, possessions, cash, gold and assorted wealth than you can possibly imagine? Farkin' a right, the gotdam Dutch.

Who runs hardcore addictive drugs all over the USA and Canada under the guise of friendly local Floral Shoppes? Yeah, you got it. The Dutch.

Hitler, Stalin, Amin, Manson, Bush? All Dutch.

I could go on all day but why bother. Those sons of biatches. And they are in so deep they know they can flaunt it right in our faces, not a damn thing we can do. The Dutch.

JorgiX		2012-12-19 04:32:24 AM

There's the highland Dutch and the lowland Dutch, the Rotterdam Dutch and THE GODDAMNED DUTCH!

/obscure?

Ed Grubermann		2012-12-19 04:37:37 AM

Because Rudolph is a dinosaur.

Abacus9		2012-12-19 04:39:50 AM

fusillade762: Sure, but can they explain how he flies?

All that magic dust, man.

IWood		2012-12-19 04:41:19 AM

There are two kinds of people I can't stand. Those who are intolerant of other cultures, and the Dutch.

/glorious, unconcealed, comprehendible, conspicuous, comprehensible, clear, connected

Snowflake Tubbybottom		2012-12-19 06:59:49 AM

Because it was a marketing campaign by Montgomery Ward. This is why you can't believe in global warming.... way to go science.

brimed03		2012-12-19 07:23:21 AM

Nice headline Subby, I laughed.

FWIW, I'm ok with Dutch rule provided they continue making those glorious Dutch women. I'd link examples but am on my cellphone.

Besides, Dutch leadership has gotten us through some heavy seas. They seem to have steering well in hand, almost as I'd they had some kind of device, like a Dutch... steering wheel, or something.

snowybunting		2012-12-19 07:59:48 AM

LDM90: On Donner! On Bleesen! On Chuy! On Tavo! C'mon Beto!

Abacus9: fusillade762: Sure, but can they explain how he flies?

All that magic dust, man.

...and *there* are the references I was looking for. Well done people.

Skleenar		2012-12-19 08:04:42 AM

Ed Grubermann: Because Rudolph is a dinosaur.

Laugh at creationists all you want, but Rudolph was created by a department store, so I think that throws a little curve ball into your evolutionism brainwashing, bucko.

ph0rk		2012-12-19 08:14:47 AM

Skleenar: Ed Grubermann: Because Rudolph is a dinosaur.

Laugh at creationists all you want, but Rudolph was created by a department store, so I think that throws a little curve ball into your evolutionism brainwashing, bucko.

Ah, venerable American christ-mas traditions.

Bender The Offender		2012-12-19 08:18:20 AM

Let's not forget the triangle trade and conflict diamonds. Oh Dutchmen, is there anything you don't corrupt with your tainted fingers. What good have they done the world beyond their contributions in the rudder field? Sure, you can bring up the ovens, but do you know who else found a use for ovens? I'm just asking questions.

Skleenar		2012-12-19 08:27:30 AM

Since we're talking about the Dutch, it's kind of funny how certain figures of speech don't necessarily spread evenly. I grew up in Hawaii, and then move to the mainland when I was in high school. I remember one of my first dates, the girl suggested we go "Dutch". Let's just say meeting her dad at the front door was an awkward time to find out going "Dutch" didn't mean going "panstless".

Mid_mo_mad_man		2012-12-19 08:56:25 AM

Rudolph was an idiot. If I had been rejected by the other reindeer, Santa and the elves and then they asked for help. Fark you would be my response

rev. dave		2012-12-19 08:56:38 AM

Now explain how the tooth fairy knows you lost a tooth and how getting it does not result in trespassing charges.

Fooling children is only going to lead to a general mistrust of everything that is said, but that may be healthy in the long run.

varmitydog		2012-12-19 08:59:05 AM

Dutchie scientist got it half right. Rudolph is obviously a mutant.
Blitzen porked a doe who fed on tundra where they dumped radioactive waste, then when Rudolph overexerted himself, his nose lit up like a beacon.

JPINFV		2012-12-19 09:00:34 AM

Ayn Rand's Social Worker: fusillade762: Sure, but can they explain how he flies?

[blog.joerogan.net image 512x384]

I can.

Badgers?

img.y8.com

utah dude		2012-12-19 09:19:02 AM

do scientists ever get ANYTHING right? his red nose is clearly the result of anthropogenic carbon emissions. my friend gore will back me up on this shiz. he's pretty smart, with that whole internet and all.

/phd scientist, engineer, or something
//hates scientists
///and academics
////slashy

utah dude		2012-12-19 09:20:17 AM

cretinbob: Because guns are cool

done.

in.

one.

wambu		2012-12-19 11:12:04 AM

I suppose for scientists, this passes for clever.

joenopride		2012-12-19 11:29:11 AM

Who says gangsta rappers can't be down with Rudolph?

/pops

Clemkadidlefark		2012-12-19 12:46:57 PM

If you have no Values, there's no point to Traditions

shifter_		2012-12-19 12:55:28 PM

In the original, or Pre-Crisis origin story, Rudolf's strange and eerie powers were explained as a freak of birth. The moral of Rudolf's tale was similar to that of the X-Men - that is, that you should be tolerant of the freakish deformities of others, because you never know when some twisted mutant will be able to serve your self-interest.

Source : Uncyclopedia.wikia.com

NotARocketScientist		2012-12-19 01:13:26 PM

Laugh at creationists all you want, but Rudolph was created by a department store, so I think that throws a little curve ball into your evolutionism brainwashing, bucko.

What curveball? The Santa myth, like living things, evolves due to external pressures. In this case the pressure exerted by a department store advertising agency. Evolution allows/encourages change, where creationism requires everything to be static. Speaking of which, please post the creationist story of how God created Santa and Rudolph. - I'd be really interested to see how creationists get around that one.

stalkenwalken		2012-12-19 01:25:29 PM

I'm shocked that, so far, no one has pointed out the major flaw in their theory. They conclude that his red nose is a result of carrying around the fat man and his gear, but his nose was red before that even happened. In fact, it was because of his red nose that he was even deemed the chosen one. Splain that.

stealingisbad		2012-12-19 07:14:05 PM

stalkenwalken: Splain that.

A wizard did it

Abacus9		2012-12-20 12:13:24 AM

utah dude: do scientists ever get ANYTHING right? his red nose is clearly the result of anthropogenic carbon emissions. my friend gore will back me up on this shiz. he's pretty smart, with that whole internet and all.

/phd scientist, engineer, or something
//hates scientists
///and academics
////slashy

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