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(Cracked)   Back in my day we used to sink Japanese submarines with potatoes   (cracked.com) divider line 35
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6745 clicks; posted to Geek » on 18 Dec 2012 at 12:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-18 01:06:18 PM
I can count to cruiser.
 
2012-12-18 01:11:54 PM
i'm gonna fight this war, and use au gratin as a weapon...

inspired by...
 
2012-12-18 01:15:07 PM
I imagine, for some reason, a bunch of fried spiced potatoes, cut as thick as chips, sinking in a small bowl of molten cheese and covered in fried onions.
 
2012-12-18 01:20:26 PM
fta:

' However, instead of quickly shedding his uniform and diving into the ocean, the captain ordered his men to fire stale balls of cheese at the enemy, because, for some reason, they had more of those than ammunition.'


well okay, i can get that. who doesn't like a nice bit of cheese on a sailing trip?

'One of the cheeses improbably shattered the main mast of the enemy ship, killing men with cheese shrapnel and shredding their sails.'

wtf kind of cheese did they take with them? or did they dust off the one in the back of the pantry that cookie had forgotten about?

/last time i fired cheese out of an airgun it didn't blow through anything, but good god did it make a mess.
 
2012-12-18 01:29:44 PM
FTFA: "#4. Uruguay Wins a Naval Battle with Cheese."

History's greatest Muenster.
 
2012-12-18 01:32:08 PM
Corporal Carrot?
 
2012-12-18 01:33:26 PM
Apparently, the correct term is "Jap submarine", not "Japanese submarine".
 
2012-12-18 01:43:08 PM
multiply.com

/oblig
 
2012-12-18 01:45:28 PM

buttery_shame_cave: fta:

' However, instead of quickly shedding his uniform and diving into the ocean, the captain ordered his men to fire stale balls of cheese at the enemy, because, for some reason, they had more of those than ammunition.'


well okay, i can get that. who doesn't like a nice bit of cheese on a sailing trip?

'One of the cheeses improbably shattered the main mast of the enemy ship, killing men with cheese shrapnel and shredding their sails.'

wtf kind of cheese did they take with them? or did they dust off the one in the back of the pantry that cookie had forgotten about?

/last time i fired cheese out of an airgun it didn't blow through anything, but good god did it make a mess.


I'm going to have to believe that saying it was cheese was a euphemism. They ate the cheese. A lot of Cheese. It backed them up. THen they lined up on the gun deck, turned, dropped trou, and fired upon the enemy.
 
2012-12-18 01:47:29 PM
I didn't know about the maddening honey. Pompey was indeed the great
 
2012-12-18 02:01:18 PM
Surrender or I will taunt you a second time!

malialitman.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-18 02:04:18 PM

cgraves67: buttery_shame_cave: fta:

' However, instead of quickly shedding his uniform and diving into the ocean, the captain ordered his men to fire stale balls of cheese at the enemy, because, for some reason, they had more of those than ammunition.'


well okay, i can get that. who doesn't like a nice bit of cheese on a sailing trip?

'One of the cheeses improbably shattered the main mast of the enemy ship, killing men with cheese shrapnel and shredding their sails.'

wtf kind of cheese did they take with them? or did they dust off the one in the back of the pantry that cookie had forgotten about?

/last time i fired cheese out of an airgun it didn't blow through anything, but good god did it make a mess.

I'm going to have to believe that saying it was cheese was a euphemism. They ate the cheese. A lot of Cheese. It backed them up. THen they lined up on the gun deck, turned, dropped trou, and fired upon the enemy.


i dunno about you, but i never get explosive craps after eating cheese, no matter how much i eat.

and wasn't it the japanese who mastered the art of fart warfare?

/i don't ever suffer from this 'blocking up' so many people talk about either. either i have a mighty colon or i'm just adapted to eating cheese.
//
 
2012-12-18 02:11:02 PM
Banana in the tailpipe mysteriously absent.

...

But, then again, that didn't have anything to do with war.
 
2012-12-18 02:11:03 PM

buttery_shame_cave: and wasn't it the japanese who mastered the art of fart warfare?


No. That was me. My ass has been declared a WMD and banned by the Geneva Convention. Marvin the Martian has me on contract.
 
2012-12-18 02:14:16 PM

ltdanman44: I didn't know about the maddening honey. Pompey was indeed the great


I find myself wishing for a pot of this maddening honey. It would be a great way to spend the week leading up to Christmas.

I need to talk to my neighbor to see if he has any leads on magic mushrooms.
 
2012-12-18 02:39:35 PM
The cheesiest naval victory in history.
 
2012-12-18 02:54:34 PM
Figures the ship doing the sinking by potato would be named after an Irishman.
 
2012-12-18 03:01:29 PM

wildcardjack: ltdanman44: I didn't know about the maddening honey. Pompey was indeed the great

I find myself wishing for a pot of this maddening honey. It would be a great way to spend the week leading up to Christmas.

I need to talk to my neighbor to see if he has any leads on magic mushrooms.


so you'll be celebrating in the traditional Saami way, then?

see if you can score some reindeer piss.
 
2012-12-18 03:06:07 PM

Smeggy Smurf: buttery_shame_cave: and wasn't it the japanese who mastered the art of fart warfare?

No. That was me. My ass has been declared a WMD and banned by the Geneva Convention. Marvin the Martian has me on contract.


4.bp.blogspot.com

Oh, so this is your file footage?
 
2012-12-18 03:14:21 PM
Loose spuds sink subs?
 
2012-12-18 03:17:24 PM
I heard about the China flour thing before. I saw a demostration of it too. Guy made a pancake and ate it then used some to blow up a wall.
 
2012-12-18 03:31:46 PM

xanadian: Banana in the tailpipe mysteriously absent.


I ain't falling for no banana in the tailpipe!
 
2012-12-18 03:37:34 PM

xanadian: Banana in the tailpipe mysteriously absent.

...

But, then again, that didn't have anything to do with war.


I thought it was a pickle, and not a banana?
 
rpl
2012-12-18 03:37:57 PM
highlatencylife.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-18 03:42:43 PM
Reminds me or the old "smoke grenade interpreted as a flash bang" from my cs days.
 
2012-12-18 03:45:38 PM

Teufelaffe: xanadian: Banana in the tailpipe mysteriously absent.

I ain't falling for no banana in the tailpipe!


Axel Foley: What? Y'all the second team?

Detective McCabe: We're the first team.

Detective Foster: Yeah, and we're not gonna fall for a banana in the tailpipe.

Axel Foley: [mocking him] You're not gonna fall for the banana in the tailpipe? It should be more natural, brother. It should flow out, like this - "Look, man, I ain't fallin' for no banana in my tailpipe!" See, that's more natural for us. You been hanging out with this dude too long
 
2012-12-18 03:47:34 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-18 04:11:26 PM
I cut the cheese when I was in a berthing area... many believed it to be a weapon all in itself.

Gub'ment cheese for the win!
 
2012-12-18 04:20:21 PM

Robo Beat: Figures the ship doing the sinking by potato would be named after an Irishman.


Came here to say this, glad to see someone else picked up on it.
 
2012-12-18 04:25:55 PM
Didn't the Russians launch Spudnik in the 1950s?
 
2012-12-18 04:50:04 PM
siliconsasquatch.com
 
2012-12-18 05:32:08 PM
I don't believe it.

A cracked article that's all on one page.
 
2012-12-18 06:09:44 PM

erveek: I don't believe it.

A cracked article that's all on one page.


it's a thing they've been doing, there's a whole series of them. 'quick fixes' they're called. kinda like cracked light. or cracked digest.
 
2012-12-18 11:38:57 PM
CSB: Some years back, a buddy of mine made a compressed-air spudlauncher using a suitable air tank, a ball valve, and a suitable length of 3" copper pipe. That thing could put some serious dents into thick steel plate, and, judging from the sort of steel used in 1970s-era Toyotas, it would probably punch holes into a WWII Japanese sub...
 
2012-12-19 01:56:04 PM

Fubegra: CSB: Some years back, a buddy of mine made a compressed-air spudlauncher using a suitable air tank, a ball valve, and a suitable length of 3" copper pipe. That thing could put some serious dents into thick steel plate, and, judging from the sort of steel used in 1970s-era Toyotas, it would probably punch holes into a WWII Japanese sub...


impressive considering how inefficient his system was. i like using the lower-pressure system based on the double-stage valving, myself. sufficient velocity that the potato explodes into starchy mist when it hits anything solid.

leaves a monster of a dent in a car, too.
 
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