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(CNN)   Cerberus sells off gun maker in the wake of school tragedy, making it harder for Commander Shepard to outfit his team on the Normandy   (money.cnn.com) divider line 120
    More: Misc, Commander Shepard, Normandy, Sandy Hook, Cerberus Capital Management LP, Smith & Wesson, Freedom Group, Colt Defense, massacres  
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5081 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2012 at 11:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-18 10:35:45 AM  
But but their mancard :(
 
2012-12-18 10:39:47 AM  
well, that's the mass shooting effect.
 
2012-12-18 10:44:38 AM  
SELL, MORTIMER, SELL!
 
2012-12-18 10:45:58 AM  
Meh Cerberus guns kinda suck anyway. Geth guns are where it's at
 
2012-12-18 11:00:46 AM  
Did what now?

www.oocities.org

Weird, I thought he was more of a sword guy.

In the second presidential debate in the fall, Obama said he was going to see "if we can get an assault weapons ban reintroduced."

[okaywiththis]
 
2012-12-18 11:07:06 AM  
Shepard.
 
2012-12-18 11:17:54 AM  
Cerberus will hire advisers to carry out a sale of the company, and return the money to its investors, which include the California State Teachers' Retirement System (CalSTRS).

imageshack.us

Only on Wall Street.
 
2012-12-18 11:19:15 AM  
That seems a rather over the top self-penalization, PR stunt or otherwise.
 
2012-12-18 11:37:17 AM  

quatchi: Weird, I thought he was more of a sword guy.


Apparently you missed the part of the series where Cerebus beats the Cirinists because guns have been invented and women can't shoot straight.
Seriously, that's what happened.
 
2012-12-18 11:48:52 AM  

SilentStrider: Shepard.


Wrex.
 
2012-12-18 11:51:10 AM  
I worked for a Cerberus owned company once. Those guys do not mess around. They will burn money like crazy if they think it will help their bottom line, and that will slash expenses to nothing for the exact same reason. They clearly think Bushmaster is going to be a liability, and they're ditching it. And I bet they didn't take pennies on the dollar either.

Those guys are sharks; if they're getting out, smart money says they know something. I have zero evidence for this, but after watching their operating practices in detail for 4 years, that's my strong gut feeling.
 
2012-12-18 11:51:11 AM  

Rev. Skarekroe: quatchi: Weird, I thought he was more of a sword guy.

Apparently you missed the part of the series where Cerebus beats the Cirinists because guns have been invented and women can't shoot straight.
Seriously, that's what happened.


Booooom! 

/Dave has some interesting theories about women.
 
2012-12-18 11:57:41 AM  
How will they defend the Gates of Hell without guns?
 
2012-12-18 12:00:24 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Meh Cerberus guns kinda suck anyway. Geth guns are where it's at


What a Cerberus gun might look like
www.imfdb.org
 
2012-12-18 12:00:50 PM  
I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite headline on the Farkadel!
 
2012-12-18 12:02:02 PM  
Krogan Halitosis?
 
2012-12-18 12:03:01 PM  
Let make money by selling off a group that invests in a growth industry that has never been stronger.

Profit?
 
2012-12-18 12:03:47 PM  
I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go. I should go.
 
2012-12-18 12:03:56 PM  

jimmyego: That seems a rather over the top self-penalization, PR stunt or otherwise.


They probably just want to get their money out of it before any new gun laws get enacted. As an equity firm, I doubt they're really into guns or gun ownership, and just want the cash to invest in something else.
 
2012-12-18 12:04:48 PM  
The father of Cerberus's CEO lives in Newtown Connecticut.

That's why all the usual pro gun loudmouths are silence. This happened too close to their Wall St masters. This happened to real people in 1%erville.
 
2012-12-18 12:04:50 PM  
I suspect Magneto
 
2012-12-18 12:05:01 PM  

whistleridge: I worked for a Cerberus owned company once. Those guys do not mess around. They will burn money like crazy if they think it will help their bottom line, and that will slash expenses to nothing for the exact same reason. They clearly think Bushmaster is going to be a liability, and they're ditching it. And I bet they didn't take pennies on the dollar either.

Those guys are sharks; if they're getting out, smart money says they know something. I have zero evidence for this, but after watching their operating practices in detail for 4 years, that's my strong gut feeling.


Interesting. Considering the FBI is running NICS checks at record volumes right now, you would think that these guys would be able to sell everything they could possibly produce and want to hold onto it.

I think your gut feeling may be right on.
 
2012-12-18 12:05:42 PM  
I will not be silence! I will be typo!
 
2012-12-18 12:05:57 PM  
You know me, always like to savor that last shot before popping the heatsink.

Wait... that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.
 
2012-12-18 12:06:40 PM  
This is an excellent oppy for shooting enthusiasts to pool their money together and buy their own company.
 
2012-12-18 12:06:49 PM  

quatchi: /Dave has some interesting theories about women.


Reading that series was an interesting exercise in watching a innovative mind slowly come apart. By the end I could barely read it between the extreme amounts of crazy and the disgusting bag of shiat Dave Sim had become.
 
2012-12-18 12:08:54 PM  

Cagey B: Reading that series was an interesting exercise in watching a innovative mind slowly come apart. By the end I could barely read it between the extreme amounts of crazy and the disgusting bag of shiat Dave Sim had become.


I stopped at Mothers and Daughters for similar reasons.
 
2012-12-18 12:10:06 PM  
Get to it Teabaggers, sell those Hover rounds and pool your disability checks.
Time to buy a Real American Business!
 
2012-12-18 12:11:15 PM  
HER team, subby, HER.

/Femshep ftw!
 
2012-12-18 12:15:37 PM  

Galvatron Zero: HER team, subby, HER.

/Femshep ftw!


Blah. Femshep.
 
2012-12-18 12:16:16 PM  
Good. Every rifle Cerberus has touched has turned to shiat. No concern for quality, only the bottom line
 
2012-12-18 12:17:27 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Meh Cerberus guns kinda suck anyway. Geth guns are where it's at


I dunno, I like the Mattock, it's a pretty good single-shot rifle early in the game.
 
2012-12-18 12:17:59 PM  

Galvatron Zero: HER team, subby, HER.

/Femshep ftw!


Jennifer Hale FTW!

/If it wasn't her I wouldn't have played FemShep
//Seriously, she's REALLY good
 
2012-12-18 12:20:42 PM  

whistleridge: I worked for a Cerberus owned company once. Those guys do not mess around. They will burn money like crazy if they think it will help their bottom line, and that will slash expenses to nothing for the exact same reason. They clearly think Bushmaster is going to be a liability, and they're ditching it. And I bet they didn't take pennies on the dollar either.

Those guys are sharks; if they're getting out, smart money says they know something. I have zero evidence for this, but after watching their operating practices in detail for 4 years, that's my strong gut feeling.


yes, they did so well with Chrysler and GMAC.
 
2012-12-18 12:23:50 PM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

More of a Jakobs fan myself.
 
2012-12-18 12:25:06 PM  
Looks like it's about time I buy my AR-15. These gun-grabbers are probably going to get their way this time.
 
2012-12-18 12:27:44 PM  

whistleridge: I worked for a Cerberus owned company once. Those guys do not mess around. They will burn money like crazy if they think it will help their bottom line, and that will slash expenses to nothing for the exact same reason. They clearly think Bushmaster is going to be a liability, and they're ditching it. And I bet they didn't take pennies on the dollar either.

Those guys are sharks; if they're getting out, smart money says they know something. I have zero evidence for this, but after watching their operating practices in detail for 4 years, that's my strong gut feeling.


Did they also ditch remington?
 
2012-12-18 12:28:57 PM  

CuttySupreme: Looks like it's about time I buy my AR-15. These gun-grabbers are probably going to get their way this time.


just get a stripped lower. the rest of the parts will always be available to make one

/I mean, guns are bad! whargarble!
 
2012-12-18 12:29:30 PM  

Rapmaster2000: How will they defend the Gates of Hell without guns?


What the Hell did I just find:
gumshoegrove.com
 
2012-12-18 12:29:31 PM  
Much like ME3, this won't end well.
 
2012-12-18 12:31:06 PM  

whistleridge: I worked for a Cerberus owned company once. Those guys do not mess around.


Yeah, those mandatory implants and indoctrination are a biatch. No benefits, either.
 
2012-12-18 12:37:16 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Meh Cerberus guns kinda suck anyway. Geth guns are where it's at


Really?, I agree with you on the Plasma Shotgun and Javelin, and maaaaaybe on the SMG, but the Pulse Rifle just feels like ass to me.
Give me a Ghost Infiltrator or Batarian Soldier with a Harrier any day of the week.

/Mass Effect thread?, in my Fark?
//it's more likely than you think
 
2012-12-18 12:42:23 PM  

CuttySupreme: Looks like it's about time I buy my AR-15. These gun-grabbers are probably going to get their way this time.


Why buy one if they are gonna grab it? I mean, if your worried about a total ban then buying would be silly, if its just going to be taken away soon. Now if your talking about a ban with a grandfather clause, then yes Id agree its time to buy. Me, Im not so worried. Ive got 2 factory 17 round mags for my Beretta and 1 factory 20 round mag for my DTI AR-15. If in the coming months all I can buy is 10 rounders Ill be ok.
 
2012-12-18 12:42:49 PM  

SomeoneDumb: This is an excellent oppy for shooting enthusiasts to pool their money together and buy their own company.


The problem is, their entire current product line will likely be illegal to sell to the public in about 6 months. You'b be far better off with the stock of a company that makes sporting shotguns or revolvers or something like that at this point. Just in general, though, firearms companies aren't great investments. They always end up competing against their own NOS and used products in the marketplace, since, with a minimum of care, most guns will take 50-100 years to wear out. Colt, Smith and Wesson, and Winchester all have some history of bankruptcies.
 
2012-12-18 12:45:10 PM  

Dingleberry_Pie: Good. Every rifle Cerberus has touched has turned to shiat. No concern for quality, only the bottom line


THIS. Bushmaster makes cheap garbage.

The Beltway Snipers used a Bushmaster as well.
 
2012-12-18 12:48:44 PM  

CuttySupreme: Looks like it's about time I buy my AR-15. These gun-grabbers are probably going to get their way this time.


You should buy a gun that doesn't jam instead.
 
2012-12-18 12:49:52 PM  

aninconvenienterection: CuttySupreme: Looks like it's about time I buy my AR-15. These gun-grabbers are probably going to get their way this time.

just get a stripped lower. the rest of the parts will always be available to make one

/I mean, guns are bad! whargarble!


Pretty much. If you want to carve up a broom handle and a conduit to make the rest of the gun, be my guest.

If it blows up in your hands during test runs, that's on you. It's just the American way.
 
2012-12-18 12:52:49 PM  
....and profit.....
 
2012-12-18 01:02:59 PM  
His team? uh no, femshep is only shep.
 
2012-12-18 01:03:56 PM  

nameofperson: scottydoesntknow: Meh Cerberus guns kinda suck anyway. Geth guns are where it's at

Really?, I agree with you on the Plasma Shotgun and Javelin, and maaaaaybe on the SMG, but the Pulse Rifle just feels like ass to me.
Give me a Ghost Infiltrator or Batarian Soldier with a Harrier any day of the week.

/Mass Effect thread?, in my Fark?
//it's more likely than you think


Never touched the Pulse Rifle (seemed too weak to me also), but I was talking about the Plasma Shotgun. That baby tears through pretty much anything like butter.

/Never liked the sniper rifles in multiplayer. Much harder to get a headshot (the only shot that matters for sniper rifles) when you can't slow time down.
 
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