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(The Consumerist)   Kmart decides that December is the perfect time to commemorate the death of a martyred third-century Roman saint   (consumerist.com) divider line 63
    More: Asinine, Kmart, Valentine's Day, perfect  
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16137 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Dec 2012 at 10:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-18 09:41:08 AM  
my assumption would be that kmart just hasn't restocked the shelf since last valentines day
 
2012-12-18 09:49:03 AM  
Disgraceful. Mithras has not yet been sufficiently appeased.
 
2012-12-18 09:56:32 AM  
Taste of your own medicine, Christmas! Now get back to after Thanksgiving where you belong.
 
2012-12-18 10:47:10 AM  
Can we please have that OHIO tag now?
 
2012-12-18 10:48:31 AM  
S of a B. i would give good cash to see a YouTube of someone working a flame thrower over that display.
 
2012-12-18 10:48:54 AM  
WAR ON CHRISTMAS!!!!

/amidoingitright?
 
2012-12-18 10:49:27 AM  
I think I spied the beginnings of V-Day stuff tucked in a corner at both Walmart and Target
 
2012-12-18 10:50:45 AM  
I was in a store selling cadbury creme eggs and other assorted Easter candy on Sunday. Fresh batches of them, not just something left over from last year.
 
2012-12-18 10:51:27 AM  
I'm used to seeing this on 12/26. I think it's one of the primary reasons I hate Valentine's Day.
 
2012-12-18 10:53:19 AM  
I like Japanese Valentine's day.
 
2012-12-18 10:53:33 AM  
And I suppose these are already sold out...

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-18 10:56:00 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Can we please have that OHIO tag now?


img.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-18 10:56:39 AM  
Of all the silly made up holidays manufactured or adopted by big business to sell more crap, Valentine's day has to be my least favorite one.
 
2012-12-18 10:56:53 AM  
Whenever I see a Consumerist tag my first thought is oh shut the fark up

meat0918: I think I spied the beginnings of V-Day stuff tucked in a corner at both Walmart and Target


I was at Target yesterday and there was kids V-day shirts for sale and nowhere near tucked away in a corner
 
2012-12-18 10:57:07 AM  
I just want my Halloween to stop ending for many stores in mid-October in favor of Xmas.
 
2012-12-18 10:58:32 AM  
D) When hell freezes over
 
2012-12-18 10:59:10 AM  
Too many people care way too much about useless crap. Let the stores put up what ever they want, who cares.
 
2012-12-18 10:59:16 AM  
When do they bring out the crap for Love Day?


download.lardlad.com
 
2012-12-18 11:00:00 AM  
Done in one.

/The Valentine Twinkies were the tip off for me.
 
2012-12-18 11:00:13 AM  

ElusiveWookiee: I'm used to seeing this on 12/26. I think it's one of the primary reasons I hate Valentine's Day.


Most chain stores seem to have moved on to having 1-2 aisles permanently dedicated to holiday crap, so they have to fill them with the next upcoming holiday no matter how far it is.

Wait until they start playing Valentine's music the day after Christmas, though, love croons and the like.
 
2012-12-18 11:01:31 AM  

FTA: Consumerist reader Colleen spotted the above Valentine's Day-themed section at her local Kmart in Ohio, with about 60 days still to go before Feb. 14, the day on which we all commemorate the death of a martyred third-century Roman saint by trying to make last-minute dinner reservations before attempting to convinced our significant others that a romantic meal at home would be even better.


Someone was paid to write this. Some editor was paid to review this sentence. Sigh.
 
2012-12-18 11:02:16 AM  
Pretty soon we will have to buy Christmas stuff a year in advance.

Do not open til Christmas 2013!
 
2012-12-18 11:02:33 AM  
Why do retailers just swing from one "holiday" (Valentine's Day isn't a holiday, properly so called) - why can't we just have a few weeks of "ordinary time"?
 
2012-12-18 11:04:46 AM  

meat0918: I think I spied the beginnings of V-Day stuff tucked in a corner at both Walmart and Target


Last August I was in a Home Depot and spotted the obscenely large Christmas decorations already out - on a high shelf.
 
2012-12-18 11:05:24 AM  

kvinesknows: I was in a store selling cadbury creme eggs


One of my exes adores these and would try to stock up on them for the year when he could, yet they never made it past a bit over a month with him. Good lord that boy could eat some candy; skinny as hell, too.
 
2012-12-18 11:07:46 AM  
Greg Easterbrook seen shaking his head in not so much disbelief
 
2012-12-18 11:07:57 AM  
Goddamnit. We're still fighting the War on Christmas. I can't divert any of my forces to a second front, for the War on Valentines Day...
 
2012-12-18 11:09:59 AM  

ukexpat: Why do retailers just swing from one "holiday" (Valentine's Day isn't a holiday, properly so called) - why can't we just have a few weeks of "ordinary time"?


Well, it is technically a feast day (if we're going with the holy day aspect if holiday), but every day is a feast day for someone, often many someones.
 
2012-12-18 11:11:19 AM  
He was a 3rd century priest who was stoned to death and be-headed. So to be traditional on Valentines should'nt you just take your loved one to witness a brutal murder?
 
2012-12-18 11:15:09 AM  
I was in a Kmart for the first time in years recently, and I couldn't believe what a dump it was: everything looked beat up and tired, hand-made signs on things, visible duct tape holding things together... it looked like the final days of the last remaining Kmart on earth. It made Target look like Nordstrom.
 
2012-12-18 11:19:56 AM  
I dunno, with the midwinter cold and dreariness setting in, I personally need the promise of Horny Werewolf Day to cheer me up.
 
2012-12-18 11:25:23 AM  
Be honest with yourself: Is there a major holiday you don't hate and/or dread at this point in your life?

New Years: "What? You're not going out to whoop it up for the New Year? You're so lame, dude!"
Valentines: "Look at all that young man did for the woman he loves that he's known for 2 months! Why can't our relationship be like that?"
St. Patrick's Day: "WHOOOO!!! WHOOOO!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Easter: "Let's pretend we care about religion for one of the two days of the year, pretend we'll care about this video of kids finding eggs for longer than 10 seconds, and make 5 times the amount of food we need to eat for lunch, then fight among ourselves over who takes what home with them!"
April Fools: "Ahaha, all the same jokes and fake website tricks and people being jerks as every other year! My sides!"
Memorial Day: "Am I allowed to enjoy myself today? Can I spend all day playing Call of Duty? Or should I feel guilty about that?"
4th of July: "Hey, we're outside! It's 115 in the shade and we can't go to the lake/pool because there are people there shoulder-to-shoulder and this burger is burned but hey! Outside!"
Labor Day: "Last party of the summer! Have to make it count! Even though everyone would really just like to relax at home and have one final weekend before 'The Holidays' begin, but we feel obligated to get together for a mediocre BBQ! Yay!"
Halloween: "You didn't wear a costume? Aren't you going to the big party? Oh, kids, huh? What are they going to be? Are you excited to see all the other kids costumes? Why are you taking so many of those pills?"
Thanksgiving: "Look, I know your uncle is going to spend 5 hours yelling at you because Obama is taking away his Parkinsons medication and deer rifle, but can't you just agree with him and try to talk about football instead?"
Christmas: "Did you know the suicide rate in December is 3 times that of any other month? I wonder why that is?"
 
2012-12-18 11:26:47 AM  

Barricaded Gunman: I was in a Kmart for the first time in years recently, and I couldn't believe what a dump it was: everything looked beat up and tired, hand-made signs on things, visible duct tape holding things together... it looked like the final days of the last remaining Kmart on earth. It made Target look like Nordstrom.


No kidding. I stopped in one last week for the first time in years. I became depressed immediately. It was like 1985 in there. Grimy, run-down and employees who were genuinely unhappy to be there. Close these bastards down!
 
2012-12-18 11:27:46 AM  
Since it's all going to be over come Friday, they may as well try to get something for all that Valentine's Day crap in the back room.
 
2012-12-18 11:31:56 AM  
I'm at that point where I don't give a f*ck about holidays anymore. I suppose if I owned a bar I would.
 
2012-12-18 11:32:12 AM  
HOW DARE THEY SELL THINGS?!
 
2012-12-18 11:32:20 AM  

jayhawk88: Christmas: "Did you know the suicide rate in December is 3 times that of any other month? I wonder why that is?"


do you post this comment every december?
 
2012-12-18 11:35:55 AM  
Biatching about how the stores do X holiday too soon is now more annoying that the thing it originally biatched about. Get some new marterial.
 
2012-12-18 11:36:00 AM  

thomps: jayhawk88: Christmas: "Did you know the suicide rate in December is 3 times that of any other month? I wonder why that is?"

do you post this comment every december?


lulz
 
2012-12-18 11:36:52 AM  

jayhawk88: Be honest with yourself: Is there a major holiday you don't hate and/or dread at this point in your life?

New Years: "What? You're not going out to whoop it up for the New Year? You're so lame, dude!"

St. Patrick's Day: "WHOOOO!!! WHOOOO!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
"

Amateur Nights.
 
2012-12-18 11:37:45 AM  
40 posts and no one's irrationally ripping the Consumerist? Guns must take priority for Fark trolls.
 
2012-12-18 11:38:31 AM  
Oh my, am I lucky to have a GF who farking hates Valentine's Day ! Although we went to a restaurant on our first one. My god, the display of rows upon rows of small tables for two, with middle-aged couples holding hands but not looking at each other, was depressing. And the colours ! And the music ! And the flowers !
But at least, in my country, we are not at the point of buying Teddy Bears with "love" printed on it.
 
2012-12-18 11:42:26 AM  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: 40 posts and no one's irrationally ripping the Consumerist? Guns must take priority for Fark trolls.


interesting that a consumerist fan would criticize something for not meeting their most pedantic expectations.
 
2012-12-18 11:47:51 AM  

padraig: Oh my, am I lucky to have a GF who farking hates Valentine's Day ! Although we went to a restaurant on our first one. My god, the display of rows upon rows of small tables for two, with middle-aged couples holding hands but not looking at each other, was depressing. And the colours ! And the music ! And the flowers !
But at least, in my country, we are not at the point of buying Teddy Bears with "love" printed on it.


I don't want to alarm you but that's become surprisingly common. Just don't take that literally/seriously and make sure you do something while making fun of all those "losers celebrating that BS Hallmark holiday" or you may realize how foolish you've been.
 
2012-12-18 11:52:57 AM  

thomps: GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: 40 posts and no one's irrationally ripping the Consumerist? Guns must take priority for Fark trolls.

interesting that a consumerist fan would criticize something for not meeting their most pedantic expectations.


i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-12-18 12:07:10 PM  
Thanks Consumerist, without this I wouldn't have known that K-Mart is worse than Hitler and Osama combined.
 
2012-12-18 12:17:22 PM  
They're obviously doing this to clear out inventory so that they can set up the Christmas 2013 stuff in February
 
2012-12-18 12:22:43 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: kvinesknows: I was in a store selling cadbury creme eggs

One of my exes adores these and would try to stock up on them for the year when he could, yet they never made it past a bit over a month with him. Good lord that boy could eat some candy; skinny as hell, too.


The larger of my gun safes has a second, interior safe built into it. Both are fire rated, so I assume it is for important papers, etc.

I use it for my Cadbury Egg stash. Even my wife can't get to them in there.. (yet)
 
2012-12-18 01:09:03 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
/diaapproves
 
2012-12-18 01:10:03 PM  
Well, those Kmart workers need something to do. It's not like they have any Christmas shoppers to ring up.
 
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