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(NYPost)   Lindsay Lohan is available for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs. No, seriously   (nypost.com) divider line 67
    More: Obvious, Lindsay Lohan, Bat Mitzvahs, subject lines  
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6195 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 Dec 2012 at 5:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-17 01:54:45 PM
Maybe this could work - don't want to be the biggest drunk at your sister's wedding? Hire Lohan for your date.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-12-17 02:08:23 PM
I always thought she would be doing out-calls.
 
2012-12-17 02:10:31 PM
Bachelor parties and girlfriend experiences?
 
2012-12-17 04:53:54 PM
www.fark.com Keep her away from the open bar! www.fark.com
 
2012-12-17 04:55:05 PM
Yeah, this is going to get annoying real fast, so expect it a lot. www.fark.com
 
2012-12-17 05:23:24 PM
I didn't know people hired official drug dealers.
 
2012-12-17 05:28:13 PM

basemetal: Keep her away from the open bar!


The open bar is stipulated in her contract.
 
2012-12-17 05:29:47 PM
When the heck did the emoticons appear?
 
2012-12-17 05:32:11 PM
A talent company claiming to represent the troubled actress wants us to know their client is available for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs.

...

We've reached out to Lohan's rep and have not received an immediate response on the authenticity of the email.



So you're just printing bullshiat then? You couldn't have waited for confirmation before rushing out your big "scoop"

Farking parasites.
 
2012-12-17 05:32:59 PM

d-fens99: When the heck did the emoticons appear?


Oh no.  Please Shiva, no.



 



Anyway, on topic: let me know when that list includes "out calls" and I am in.  I don't care what Fark thinks, I would still gladly wreck that chick.

 
2012-12-17 05:36:28 PM
Best mohel ever!
 
2012-12-17 05:37:10 PM
WTF are these things?

8) :) &) @) #) $) %) ^) *) :(
 
2012-12-17 05:38:22 PM
Scores apparently offered her a gig but not to strip. They want her to host some live chat or something. Those fools could have gotten her to perform a donkey show.

I bet those reality show vultures are drooling at the notion of her storage compartment going to auction
 
2012-12-17 05:38:54 PM
Wow... Lindsay you are farked.
 
2012-12-17 05:39:06 PM

gilgigamesh: d-fens99: When the heck did the emoticons appear?

Oh no.  Please Shiva, no.

 

Anyway, on topic: let me know when that list includes "out calls" and I am in.  I don't care what Fark thinks, I would still gladly wreck that chick.


I got 5 on it.
 
2012-12-17 05:40:23 PM

Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs


Really subby? REALLY?

/oy vey
 
2012-12-17 05:44:35 PM
Just a matter of time before she's slobbin' knobbins on camera for cash.
 
2012-12-17 05:46:27 PM

blaXXer: Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs


Really subby? REALLY?

/oy vey


Before you overdose on smug, you might want to be aware that a bat mitzvah is a real thing. It's just the female equivalent.
 
2012-12-17 05:46:40 PM
FTFA: In bright pink lettering, the email reminds us that "Not only is Lindsay an Actress but she is also a Fashion Designer, Model and Recording Artist." Perhaps adding "Jail Bait" didn't have much of a ring to it.

She's 26.
___________________

blaXXer: Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs


Really subby? REALLY?

/oy vey


FTFA: A talent company claiming to represent the troubled actress wants us to know their client is available for weddings and Bat Mitzvahs.

I am confused, subby took this directly from the article.
 
2012-12-17 05:49:10 PM

The First Four Katy Perry Albums: Before you overdose on smug, you might want to be aware that a bat mitzvah is a real thing. It's just the female equivalent.


Even I knew that and I'm as goyum as they come.
 
2012-12-17 05:51:06 PM
 
2012-12-17 05:59:22 PM

blaXXer: Really subby? REALLY?


Congratulations on your fail.
 
2012-12-17 06:00:34 PM
Erin Moran is jealous
 
2012-12-17 06:02:32 PM
Werewolf Bar Mitzvah. Spooky. Scary. Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.
 
2012-12-17 06:03:20 PM
Oh man, they took away the emoticon buttons!
 
2012-12-17 06:03:28 PM
Does she do windows?
 
2012-12-17 06:04:16 PM

basemetal: Oh man, they took away the emoticon buttons!


Looks like Fark was briefly experimenting with one of them thar high-falutin' visual editors with all the fixins.
 
2012-12-17 06:13:09 PM

blaXXer: Really subby? REALLY?/oy vey


Pet peeve?
 
2012-12-17 06:21:24 PM

Ivo Shandor: blaXXer: Really subby? REALLY?/oy vey

Pet peeve?


Ped peawe. Get it right, moran.
 
2012-12-17 06:29:09 PM
Building more bridges to burn ...
 
2012-12-17 06:30:13 PM
If you believe that's real, we can't help you.
 
2012-12-17 06:35:41 PM
Ms Lohan helping young boys become men?
 
2012-12-17 06:38:44 PM

gilatrout: Ms Lohan helping young boys become men?


At a BAT Mitzvah?
 
2012-12-17 06:46:00 PM
LiLo turn girls into a woman. That is sort of... hot?
 
2012-12-17 06:59:15 PM

Dragonflew: gilatrout: Ms Lohan helping young boys become men?

At a BAT Mitzvah?


If that's where she is, chosen one.
 
2012-12-17 07:02:52 PM

blaXXer: Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Really subby? REALLY? /oy vey

The fail is strong, here. I'm laughing at your ignorance.
 
2012-12-17 07:03:43 PM

PainInTheASP: Does she do windows?


Is "Windows" the nickname of the guy she gets her coke from? Then yes.
 
2012-12-17 07:04:49 PM
I think there may be a market in booking her to go ruin someone else's wedding.
 
2012-12-17 07:22:20 PM

Coco LaFemme: blaXXer: Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Bat Mitzvahs Really subby? REALLY? /oy veyThe fail is strong, here. I'm laughing at your ignorance.



Beat on the bat beat on the bat beat on the bat with a baseball bat oh yeah, oh yeah ooh hoo!
 
You know most celebrities and not so celebrities do this sort of crap.  If you pay a shiateload of money you can get anyone to show up to nearly anything. 
 
2012-12-17 07:25:28 PM
I do want to have lunch with Lindsay while she is in New York. 
 
*makes "call me" gesture.*
 
2012-12-17 07:28:41 PM
I've got a few dollars and a list of things Lindsey can do...
 
2012-12-17 07:34:09 PM

brap: I do want to have lunch with Lindsay while she is in New York. 
 
*makes "call me" gesture.*


*'snaps fingers in both hands and points to my manly region' gesture*

//Italian foreplay

//NO NOT YOU,BRAP
 
2012-12-17 07:48:41 PM
Has it really become fashionable to hire someone to come and steal your presents? Didn't that used to be the job of your drunken cousin's sketchy boyfriend who just turned up, drank the free bar dry and when you looked round all the crystal glass sets and silver fish servers were gone?

Maybe it's all a plan, sell off the stuff in the lockup to free up space then get paid in presents - "any two from the top row, and three from the front" and then avoid tax.
 
2012-12-17 07:54:57 PM

The First Four Katy Perry Albums: blaXXer: Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs
Bat Mitzvahs


Really subby? REALLY?

/oy vey

Before you overdose on smug, you might want to be aware that a bat mitzvah is a real thing. It's just the female equivalent.


I thought the point was: do you really want her around your impressionable preteen?
 
2012-12-17 08:10:51 PM

blaXXer: Ivo Shandor: blaXXer: Really subby? REALLY?/oy vey

Pet peeve?

Ped peawe. Get it right, moran.


desertpeace.files.wordpress.com ?
 
2012-12-17 08:24:45 PM
I don't know what either a "bar-mitzvah" or a "bat-mitzvah" is.

/no, don't tell me... I don't care
 
2012-12-17 08:38:33 PM
Selling off her lockers?

Tonight, on a very special episode of 'Storage Wars'...
 
2012-12-17 08:47:28 PM
Lohan sex tape in 5... 4... 3... 2...
 
2012-12-17 08:49:57 PM
she has proven that trains wrecks can actually be a good thing
 
2012-12-17 08:56:52 PM

WhippingBoy: I don't know what either a "bar-mitzvah" or a "bat-mitzvah" is.

/no, don't tell me... I don't care


The important thing is that you've managed to tell a number of people that you're both ignorant and apathetic.
 
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