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(Chron)   115-year-old woman dies after being world's oldest person for two weeks. Something tells me that that title's cursed   (chron.com) divider line 76
    More: Sad, oldest living  
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3135 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 5:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-17 02:16:01 PM  
The title contains potassium benzoate.
 
2012-12-17 02:23:20 PM  
Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What
sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?
 
2012-12-17 02:24:03 PM  
How many people are left out there who can verifiably claim to have been born in the 1800's? It has to be less than 50 by this point.
 
2012-12-17 02:34:57 PM  
How worthless are our cops that they can't catch a serial killer with such an obvious motive as always killing the World's Oldest Person.
 
2012-12-17 02:36:17 PM  

Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?


Auto-erotic asphyxiation. The family wants to keep its secrets, but I think the world should know.
 
2012-12-17 03:02:14 PM  
Wow. It sure takes a long time to become the world's oldest person.
 
2012-12-17 03:09:40 PM  

CruiserTwelve: Wow. It sure takes a long time to become the world's oldest person.


CruiserTwelve: Wow. It sure takes a long time to become the world's oldest person.


Seems like a waste considering how briefly people hold the title
 
2012-12-17 03:16:58 PM  
Guinness spokesman Robert Young says a Japanese man is believed to now hold the title. Jiroemon Kimura was born on April 19, 1897, which makes him just 15 days younger than Manfredini.

So, see y'all again in two weeks?
 
2012-12-17 03:31:21 PM  
Matlock is investigating these. On the other side.
 
2012-12-17 03:34:47 PM  
It's like the farking Eye of the Moon or something!
 
2012-12-17 03:42:52 PM  

BronyMedic: How worthless are our cops that they can't catch a serial killer with such an obvious motive as always killing the World's Oldest Person.


I know, right? Especially with a distinctive moniker like "Senescence"!
 
2012-12-17 04:03:16 PM  

BronyMedic: How worthless are our cops that they can't catch a serial killer with such an obvious motive as always killing the World's Oldest Person.


No shiat! Just find the oldest person, go to them and hide behind the curtains!

...and wait
 
2012-12-17 04:03:29 PM  
Damn. This is a worse title to have than "assistant crack whore".
 
2012-12-17 04:46:16 PM  
Oddly enough, she was also Al Qaeda's number two
 
2012-12-17 05:54:52 PM  

Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?


She wrecked her Harley during bike week.
 
2012-12-17 05:55:05 PM  

Mugato: Damn. This is a worse title to have than "assistant crack whore".


What's the job description on that?
 
2012-12-17 05:56:36 PM  

Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?


Her back-up 'chute failed to open.
 
2012-12-17 05:58:45 PM  

vsavatar: Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?

She wrecked her Harley during bike week.


Mental image for all of you to enjoy. 115yo, in assless chaps and a leather string bikini.
 
2012-12-17 05:59:53 PM  
But she felt just like in her 20s and would never go back, right?
 
2012-12-17 06:04:47 PM  

kombat_unit: What's the job description on that?


You report to the associate crack whore, who reports to the supervising crack whore, who gets pimp slapped if she don't got all da money. Basically you dream of being her one day and getting to smoke the good rocks and the smegma-free cocks.
 
2012-12-17 06:06:46 PM  
That's what I like about these centenarian girls. I get older, they die, get embalmed, and stay the same.
 
2012-12-17 06:08:12 PM  
For all intensive purposes being alive is the major cause of death
 
2012-12-17 06:10:22 PM  
So, being the oldest person alive is kinda like being the Al Queda #2. You don't live long enough to enjoy it.
 
2012-12-17 06:12:39 PM  

Bacontastesgood: kombat_unit: What's the job description on that?

You report to the associate crack whore, who reports to the supervising crack whore, who gets pimp slapped if she don't got all da money. Basically you dream of being her one day and getting to smoke the good rocks and the smegma-free cocks.


ugh. Was that last bit truly necessary?
 
2012-12-17 06:14:49 PM  
I don't know why people keep track of this, humans cannot leave longer than 120 years.

Link
 
2012-12-17 06:23:38 PM  

netweavr: I don't know why people keep track of this, humans cannot leave longer than 120 years.

Link


Oh goody. Verse versus verse.
 
2012-12-17 06:23:56 PM  

Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?


"She died from complications of being 115 years old"
 
2012-12-17 06:25:57 PM  

sgleason818: netweavr: I don't know why people keep track of this, humans cannot leave longer than 120 years.

Link

Oh goody. Verse versus verse.


Bible fight!
 
2012-12-17 06:26:06 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?

"She died from complications of being 115 years old"


She never should have tried that flying snu-snu position. It's hard enough when you're 18
 
2012-12-17 06:26:29 PM  
Everyone who has had the title has died. EVERYONE!

/spooky
 
2012-12-17 06:31:49 PM  

Noticeably F.A.T.: sgleason818: netweavr: I don't know why people keep track of this, humans cannot leave longer than 120 years.

Link

Oh goody. Verse versus verse.

Bible fight!


Not really, one leads to the other...
 
2012-12-17 06:35:16 PM  

Spartacus Outlaw: Bacontastesgood: kombat_unit: What's the job description on that?

You report to the associate crack whore, who reports to the supervising crack whore, who gets pimp slapped if she don't got all da money. Basically you dream of being her one day and getting to smoke the good rocks and the smegma-free cocks.

ugh. Was that last bit truly necessary?


It is less ambiguous than "other duties as assigned".
 
2012-12-17 06:36:44 PM  

amquelbettamin: For all intensive purposes being alive is the major cause of death


Malapropisms are unhealthy too.
 
2012-12-17 06:44:10 PM  

amquelbettamin: For all intensive purposes


www.mrmediatraining.com

static.guim.co.uk

i.istockimg.com

3.bp.blogspot.com

media.comicvine.com

api.ning.com
 
2012-12-17 06:44:33 PM  
When I grow up, I want to be the world's oldest person.
 
2012-12-17 06:45:07 PM  

vsavatar: Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?

She wrecked her Harley during bike week.


I nearly spit out the food in my mouth when I read that. Well done, sir
 
2012-12-17 06:45:30 PM  
Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.

Translation: "DO I LOOK LIKE A FARKING DOCTOR TO YOU?"
 
2012-12-17 07:02:45 PM  
Being the world's oldest person is almost as bad as being the Al Qaeda #2.
 
2012-12-17 07:03:30 PM  

ertai_lapis: Apos: Logli wouldn't elaborate on her grandmother's cause of death.


What sort of elaboration? "My gran-gran died of VERY old age, you nitwits" ?

Her back-up 'chute failed to open.


Unlikely, old people's back up-chutes have a knack for opening at random far as I can tell.
 
2012-12-17 07:03:43 PM  

CruiserTwelve: Wow. It sure takes a long time to become the world's oldest person.


Why do I laugh out loud at this?

I don't know but thanks for the chuckle with that obvious statement.
 
2012-12-17 07:04:55 PM  
This is a broken record...a dead and crumbled record, really, way way past prime, won't barely play on the thinga-ma-jigger, 'cept for the circle-spinning round and round, ayup.
 
2012-12-17 07:07:00 PM  

spman: How many people are left out there who can verifiably claim to have been born in the 1800's? It has to be less than 50 by this point.


How many will be left from last century?

/weird
 
2012-12-17 07:12:31 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: spman: How many people are left out there who can verifiably claim to have been born in the 1800's? It has to be less than 50 by this point.

How many will be left from last century?

/weird


Four days?

Nope, try four years...
 
2012-12-17 07:16:02 PM  

Indubitably: StoPPeRmobile: spman: How many people are left out there who can verifiably claim to have been born in the 1800's? It has to be less than 50 by this point.

How many will be left from last century?

/weird

Four days?

Nope, try four years...

Squared to infinity


P.S. The funny thing everyone forgets to include in their aspect of time, is that time on earth gives two shats about humanity's rise to power or its concept of time, for in the "end time," there will still be earth. Words.
 
2012-12-17 07:17:36 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: amquelbettamin: For all intensive purposes


Awesome! Handle makes sense now...
 
2012-12-17 07:19:33 PM  

amquelbettamin: Quantum Apostrophe: amquelbettamin: For all intensive purposes

Awesome! Handle makes sense now...


Heh, did you enjoy that? There's almost a progression of anger in the dudes I picked at random. I especially like the big NO.
 
2012-12-17 07:21:14 PM  

Indubitably: Indubitably: StoPPeRmobile: spman: How many people are left out there who can verifiably claim to have been born in the 1800's? It has to be less than 50 by this point.

How many will be left from last century?

/weird

Four days?

Nope, try four years...

Squared to infinity

P.S. The funny thing everyone forgets to include in their aspect of time, is that time on earth gives two shats about humanity's rise to power or its concept of time, for in the "end time," there will still be earth. Words.


Nuh-uh. Even planets don't last forever, stupid!
 
2012-12-17 07:22:50 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: amquelbettamin: For all intensive purposes

[www.mrmediatraining.com image 425x282]

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

[i.istockimg.com image 253x380]

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 390x379]

[media.comicvine.com image 413x291]

[api.ning.com image 721x505]


Post of the thread.
 
2012-12-17 07:24:28 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: amquelbettamin: For all intensive purposes

[www.mrmediatraining.com image 425x282]

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

[i.istockimg.com image 253x380]

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 390x379]

[media.comicvine.com image 413x291]

[api.ning.com image 721x505]


You forgot:

static.guim.co.uk
 
2012-12-17 07:28:19 PM  

CruiserTwelve: Wow. It sure takes a long time to become the world's oldest person.


But when you get the title, you're sure to die undefeated.
 
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