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(NPR)   New cars offer features that cater to older drivers, such as Active Park Assist, Lane Exit Warning, and FARMER'S MARKET DEAD AHEAD, FULL THROTTLE. With helpful pic of oldster behind the wheel   (npr.org) divider line 116
    More: Obvious, FARMER'S MARKET DEAD AHEAD, FULL THROTTLE, Yellow Cab, Big Yellow Taxi, Ann Widdecombe, radar detectors  
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5895 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 2:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-17 12:33:06 PM
Oldsmobile is making a comeback?
 
2012-12-17 12:33:09 PM
Pic practically begs to be put in a photoshop contest.
 
2012-12-17 01:13:53 PM
How about if they do three dangerously stupid things during the course of a day the car pulls over to the side of the road and shuts itself off.
 
2012-12-17 01:22:43 PM
The best part of an old person accident is the wife. See, the husband hits something. He gets out. He stands there looking at the accident, utterly confused as to how this could have happened. The bumper might be hanging off, crushed into the engine compartment. Bricks might be on top of the hood- whatever. The best part is the wife. No matter how fast or slow the husband was going when he hit whatever, she'll sit there in her seat with her head tilted at a 45 degree angle. Sometimes her hand will be at her neck, and sometimes she keeps them at her side. But somehow she'll always have whiplash. And in the end, that'll require more attention than anything else. It is almost as if she is saying 'welp, this blows, I'm outta here'.
 
2012-12-17 01:44:06 PM
What about Automatic Colostomy Bag Changer, Tear Gas Grenade Launcher For Punks On Your Lawn, and Cow/Person Catcher bolted to the front for the inevitable cruise down a sidewalk filled with pedestrians?
 
2012-12-17 01:59:05 PM
All is see is a bunch of expensive stuff to fix.
 
2012-12-17 02:50:25 PM
GILF ....... That is all
 
2012-12-17 02:51:18 PM
FTA:

"Berlin says driving is a function of ability, not necessarily a function of age. But with age come certain conditions that become more common.

"And those conditions can make driving a little bit more difficult," Berlin says.

It's those conditions that carmakers are trying to design around to make it easier and more comfortable to drive.

One of the simplest new features is push-button ignition.

"If you have any arthritic joints in your hands, the fine motor skills needed to grasp the key and turn it can really elicit a lot of pain. So the push-button ignition simplifies that," Berlin says."


That's wonderful. People who cannot twist a key or open a door lock should not be driving. And don't get me started on non-existent elderly reaction times or situational awareness...
 
2012-12-17 02:52:40 PM
If you truly need a lane change assist and autoparking features, you obviously do not have the skills or physical capabilities needed to drive a car.

Also, the last farking thing an old person needs in a vehicle is information overload. Do people actually think they will drive better when they have to learn new controls for these features and be able to interpret the information coming at them from them while trying to drive?
 
2012-12-17 02:52:58 PM
The Old Folks really LOVE the On-Star system.

They refuse to use the features, though, but they still love it for some reason.
 
2012-12-17 02:53:05 PM

DanZero: Oldsmobile is making a comeback?


You're thinking of Buick.
 
2012-12-17 02:53:39 PM
How about... "Since the turn signal has been on for over a minute, you're probably not turning so I will shut it off."
 
2012-12-17 02:55:15 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: The Old Folks really LOVE the On-Star system.

They refuse to use the features, though, but they still love it for some reason.


My wife's aunt uses it to get directions... then argues with the OnStar people about the quality of the directions, as they're giving her the directions. "Why do you want to take me that way, you should know the traffic is bad this time of day in Springfield?!?!"
 
2012-12-17 02:55:21 PM
And yet statistics show young drivers get in more accidents than us old farts - probably due to your g'damn hippity-hop music being too loud while you're trying to take a phone pic of your new tit-tat for you facebook page.
TURN THAT F**KIN' SH*T DOWN AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU SNOT-NOSED PUKES!
 
2012-12-17 02:56:12 PM

oldfarthenry: And yet statistics show young drivers get in more accidents than us old farts - probably due to your g'damn hippity-hop music being too loud while you're trying to take a phone pic of your new tit-tat for you facebook page.
TURN THAT F**KIN' SH*T DOWN AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU SNOT-NOSED PUKES!


Keep yer car off my lawn, gramps!!!

/Shakes fist
 
2012-12-17 02:57:29 PM

one of Ripley's Bad Guys: FTA:

"Berlin says driving is a function of ability, not necessarily a function of age. But with age come certain conditions that become more common.

"And those conditions can make driving a little bit more difficult," Berlin says.

It's those conditions that carmakers are trying to design around to make it easier and more comfortable to drive.

One of the simplest new features is push-button ignition.

"If you have any arthritic joints in your hands, the fine motor skills needed to grasp the key and turn it can really elicit a lot of pain. So the push-button ignition simplifies that," Berlin says."


That's wonderful. People who cannot twist a key or open a door lock should not be driving. And don't get me started on non-existent elderly reaction times or situational awareness...


Oh, but that's why they drive so slow. They know their reaction times are shot, but that doesn't mean they can't drive themselves to bridge at Doris's house at 20 mph under the speed limit. Meanwhile you're .25 car lengths behind them yelling FFFFUUUUUU.
 
2012-12-17 03:01:51 PM
So you younger folk can start telling the older folk "Get you car off my lawn!"
 
2012-12-17 03:06:13 PM

UtileDysfunktion: How about... "Since the turn signal has been on for over a minute, you're probably not turning so I will shut it off."


Heh heh. Guilty as charged.

/I got old.
//You might not.

www.cityofyankton.org
 
2012-12-17 03:06:29 PM
Could the woman in that picture look more terrified?
 
2012-12-17 03:08:15 PM

one of Ripley's Bad Guys: FTA:


That's wonderful. People who cannot twist a key or open a door lock should not be driving. And don't get me started on non-existent elderly reaction times or situational awareness...


Came here to say this, but was Ripley's thug beat me to it. Yes, there is a time to stop driving. Or give them a Smart Car or something similar.
 
2012-12-17 03:09:46 PM
"In reality, what we know is that older drivers are actually among the safest drivers on the roads," Berlin says.

False.

The best old person driver is half as good as the best young person driver. Statistically they are less likely to drive AT ALL, which makes them statistically safer.

Of course, when I'm old I'll still be an excellent driver. Definitely.
 
2012-12-17 03:11:41 PM
My grandfather got a ticket for driving 22 mph under the speed limit across a 2 lane bridge. IIRC the limit was 35 mph. He also refused to drive above 30 mph since "I'm just gonna have to stop at a red light anyways".
 
2012-12-17 03:12:06 PM

Smoky Dragon Dish: Day_Old_Dutchie: The Old Folks really LOVE the On-Star system.

They refuse to use the features, though, but they still love it for some reason.

My wife's aunt uses it to get directions... then argues with the OnStar people about the quality of the directions, as they're giving her the directions. "Why do you want to take me that way, you should know the traffic is bad this time of day in Springfield?!?!"


OK, that had me laughing.
 
2012-12-17 03:12:30 PM
Woah there unnecessary headline! It has been a long time since a Farmer's Market crash don't give the fresh seniors any ideas there now ok.!? No need to resuscitate a semi-dead meme involving human carnage when fresh vegetables are involved.
 
2012-12-17 03:12:44 PM

DanZero: Oldsmobile is making a comeback?


They're in early this year.

cache.jalopnik.com
 
2012-12-17 03:15:26 PM
This guy is pretty old, but apparently still a decent driver. Bet he won't be opting for this new fangled junk.
 
2012-12-17 03:16:14 PM
Lane change assist??? farking mirrors, how do they work??

Seriously though, I dont know how some of these features are gonna help some geezer who still cant figure out his answering machine from 1992
 
2012-12-17 03:16:42 PM

Johnny Bananapeel: UtileDysfunktion: How about... "Since the turn signal has been on for over a minute, you're probably not turning so I will shut it off."

Heh heh. Guilty as charged.

/I got old.
//You might not.


Had a neighbour that was an athletic guy in his youth, but as he got into sixties and seventies, one thing after another started going wrong with his health. He'd always tell me "Never get old", to which I'd reply "The alternative ain't that great, either".
 
2012-12-17 03:16:53 PM
and will you tell me why my insurance premiums are so LOW when most of you young peter beaters cannot get insured on anything but the most basic sedan with automatic and four doors?
reaction times don't count for squat when you're talking on the cell phone/texting/squeezing your new girlfriend.
Been insured without a break since 1973--no tickets, no accidents, no claims.
I'm the old lady driving 20 under in the big F150
seeya!
 
2012-12-17 03:19:38 PM
Well hell, the damn steering wheel is on the wrong side.
 
2012-12-17 03:19:58 PM
Last night I heard the screen door slam...
 
2012-12-17 03:20:22 PM

UtileDysfunktion: How about... "Since the turn signal has been on for over a minute, you're probably not turning so I will shut it off."


Oh that would be such a joy for everyone else!

lewismarktwo: The best old person driver is half as good as the best young person driver. Statistically they are less likely to drive AT ALL, which makes them statistically safer.


I wanted immediately to dive into that claim when I was listening earlier. True, they are certainly not street racing, they don't have little kids screeching for books/toys/snacks, they're not on facebook or texting, and they're probably not late for work.

However, I was wondering about the other side of the equation, in that they represent a smaller portion of accidents per 100,000 drivers, miles driven, or was it a usefully-derived stat that looks at driver accidents by age group compared to themselves. Thus, the fact that many don't drive AT ALL shouldn't have played into it, but that's not obvious just by the claim in the story.

Now, I don't live in Florida, so it isn't a constant pain in my ass, but it would be nice if drivers of every age could learn to stay in the right lane except when passing. If the road is clear ahead and we're not dealing with a large influx/outflux of interchange traffic, move to the right, please. Also: me momentarily flashing my lights at you isn't a middle finger, but instead an "excuse me" the most polite way I know how to do it.
 
2012-12-17 03:25:26 PM

Cold_Sassy: one of Ripley's Bad Guys: FTA:


That's wonderful. People who cannot twist a key or open a door lock should not be driving. And don't get me started on non-existent elderly reaction times or situational awareness...

Came here to say this, but was Ripley's thug beat me to it. Yes, there is a time to stop driving. Or give them a Smart Car or something similar.


Both of you stop being such twits. I know people in their 30s and 40s with rather advanced arthritis in their hands. Should be take their licenses away too? How dare they get a debilitating disease! The FA didn't say they couldn't turn a key; it said that the fine motor coordination that is required to do so causes them pain. There is only one reason ever to take an old person's driving privileges away: that their mental state or physical health has deteriorated to the point to where their driving makes them a danger to themselves or others. Older drivers are almost never at fault in any accidents other than minor fender-benders. Most know when it is time to hang up the keys. The problem is that our pubic transportation system is so under-developed, the elderly have no choice but to drive in most parts of the country. Some rural counties and small towns here have minimal transportation services for the elderly, but these programs are the first to be cut when county budgets get tight. And even when fully funded, they can only give someone a ride once or twice per week. So what are these older citizens supposed to do? Stay at home and starve because younger people consider them nothing more than a nuisance and refuse to do anything about what has been a growing problem for over a decade? And get this through your head now: being young and sneering at older people may seem fashionable right now, but youth doesn't last. One day you, too, will become old. It happens far sooner than you can ever know until it has happened.

OK, my yanked chain feels better now.
 
2012-12-17 03:26:28 PM
Right back at you, yuppie hipster scum! Get that little bubble car bugmobile the hell out of the way!
 
2012-12-17 03:26:48 PM
Once again I'm the first to come up with the obvious solution:

"Soylent Green is people who shouldn't be driving!"
 
2012-12-17 03:27:13 PM
Smoky Dragon Dish

oldfarthenry
: And yet statistics show young drivers get in more accidents than us old farts - probably due to your g'damn hippity-hop music being too loud while you're trying to take a phone pic of your new tit-tat for you facebook page.
TURN THAT F**KIN' SH*T DOWN AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU SNOT-NOSED PUKES!

Keep yer car off my lawn, gramps!!!

/Shakes fist


Let's not ferget the music stuff with the boom boom boom and winder rattleings. That's gotta scramble your brains. No wonder you can't hold down a job with both hands. Been doing this job for 5 and dickety years. You punks come in and go 'Jeez, this is too hard. Mommy save me." Bullet in the Head Marvin said the exact same thing on the beaches of Normandy and you know what happened to him? Yeah. He got fried by a Nazi flamethrower just six weeks later. We weren't no good with the nick names. Most of 'em came from Jason "No Good Nicknamer" Martinez."
 
2012-12-17 03:28:37 PM
QNX
 
2012-12-17 03:30:55 PM

tricycleracer: DanZero: Oldsmobile is making a comeback?

They're in early this year.

[cache.jalopnik.com image 504x273]


assets0.ordienetworks.com
 
2012-12-17 03:33:21 PM

Bronzemom: and will you tell me why my insurance premiums are so LOW when most of you young peter beaters cannot get insured on anything but the most basic sedan with automatic and four doors?
reaction times don't count for squat when you're talking on the cell phone/texting/squeezing your new girlfriend.
Been insured without a break since 1973--no tickets, no accidents, no claims.
I'm the old lady driving 20 under in the big F150
seeya!


You forgot "lucky." A fair number of accidents can happen to you, too. Quite a few of those occur when one is travelling considerably slower than the flow of traffic, but some are just plain dumb luck.

That said, those young-ins who think they're God's Gift to DrivingTM cause all sorts of accidents thanks to a combination of impulsive reactions, lack of experience, and poor judgement. Reaction time is great--for REACTING to things. A good driver spends a lot of time ensuring that the amount of things they have to react to are kept to a minimum. So youngsters, don't fall for the logical trap that your superior reaction time will always make up for the spin you put yourself into thanks to your failed judgement call due to minimal experience.

/ wear your seat belts, too!
 
2012-12-17 03:34:50 PM

Farktastic: If you truly need a lane change assist and autoparking features, you obviously do not have the skills or physical capabilities needed to drive a car.

live in the DC area, and probably have your car registered in the state of Maryland.



 



FTFY



 



They should include an automatic cellphone jammer connected to the ignition system.

 
2012-12-17 03:36:25 PM

oldfarthenry: And yet statistics show young drivers get in more accidents than us old farts - probably due to your g'damn hippity-hop music being too loud while you're trying to take a phone pic of your new tit-tat for you facebook page.
TURN THAT F**KIN' SH*T DOWN AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU SNOT-NOSED PUKES!


either you're not as old as you think you are or you're still in very good condition regardless of your age.
of course young drivers get in a lot of accidents - that's what happens when you are learning a skill, you make mistakes. even an old fool should know that. young people are also out and about driving to school, work and recreation while old farts folks rarely leave the driveway.

the problem is old folks who become a danger to themselves and others but refuse to let good sense prevail. my mom is 82-83, can barely see, cannot walk (wheelchair) and takes medication daily trying to avoid more seizures. yes, she speaks of getting behind the wheel again as if she is merely dealing with a temporary set-back. some people choose to live in denial. i have no doubt if she could get herself into a car she would try to go to bingo. unfarkingbelievable.

my mom is like most people her age. she is bitter and angry because she has lost her independence. she wants everything to be just like it used to be come hell or high water. she refuses to face reality and accept that what is, is. and she takes out her anger on her family that is caring for her, making their lives miserable and making their last memories of her absolutely terrible ones.

driving or not driving is a tiny portion of the hell a bitter aging parent can put you through. and these are the same folks that held open the door to kick you out on your 18th - as if you didn't want to run out screaming on your own. making sure their power of attorney / living will is up to date so they don't wind up in a situation they don't want to be in can be an expensive exercise in futility if your parent chooses not to sign documents that are created solely to benefit them. we'll skip the part about getting the house sold and getting them into a really nice assisted living center of their choosing. evidently mom's preference is to eventually fall, break a hip, (or take ill) and wind up in whatever shiat hole Home is up next on the roster at whatever hospital she winds up at.

the past year has been a slice of hell. one of my sisters is ready to have a breakdown. blah blah blah, i need a vacation.

best of luck to you enjoying your golden years, may you have many safe miles ahead of you.
 
2012-12-17 03:40:12 PM

bikerbob59: Well hell, the damn steering wheel is on the wrong side.


pics.imcdb.org
 
2012-12-17 03:41:44 PM
"If you have any arthritic joints in your hands, the fine motor skills needed to grasp the key and turn it can really elicit a lot of pain. So the push-button ignition simplifies that," Berlin says.

Those features can be a giant help for drivers who are physically limited. Lane assist helps if, say, you have trouble turning your head, or if you have poor peripheral vision.


Uh, maybe if those things are the case... you shouldnt be farking driving! I dont care what age you are, if you lack fine motor skills or cant properly turn your head, you shouldnt be driving.
 
2012-12-17 03:42:01 PM
becauseracecar.org

ON A SIDE NOTE, what the fark is wrong with you Farkers? Do you know what else shows up under related search for "granny shifting"?

Naked granny
granny farking
granny blowjob
hot granny
etc. 

/Should be "double clutching" not granny pr0n
//I wonder what turns up under related with "double clutching"...
 
2012-12-17 03:45:20 PM
Old people generally don't HAVE accidents, but they CAUSE a whole hell of a lot of them.

Young people HAVE and CAUSE many accidents.

This is because one accident can have many causes.

When one gets behind someone (usually old or in a minvan or both) doing 35 in a 50 zone, the person who goes around him (a riskier move then having patience) is performing the dangerous activity. Both he and the old fart are both responsible for it, yet more then likely gramps won't have any repercussions from it, the kid may. When grandpa drives with his signal on for miles, when you go around him is when he actually decides to turn, and the escape maneuver leaves you wrapped around a tree, and grandpa cursing you. When grandpa drives with his left foot on the brake, when he actually slows down you are the one with the new spot on the seat (if you're lucky), or wrapped around a pole or sitting in the back of grandpas Buick. Grandpa was a reason all these happened. Inexperience or a lack of patience was also necessary for many of these, and in only one did grandpa get in an accident and they will tell you its not his fault yo were following so close.

Parking Assist has to be the most annoying feature. While I drive a beater that doesn't even have tire pressure monitors (thankfully) her 2012 Lexus has parking assist and a whole slew of other things. The only time I see the parkling assist warning go off is a) At drive up windows (MAC, fast food, whatever), b) pulling into the garage and c) in the car wash. Seems more of an annoyance then anything else.
 
2012-12-17 03:46:59 PM
I, for one, welcome these things being mandated on all cars. I'm looking at young women texting, soccer moms that can't HANG UP THE FARKIN' PHONE and punks who like to be 1/4" off my back bumper.

It's sad that we need gadgets to force inattentive douche-nozzles to drive civilly.

Old, slow people? At least I can give them a few extra feet and watch what they're doing, or pass them.

/Done ranting.
//This post may not include factual statements.
 
2012-12-17 03:48:21 PM

KrispyKritter: oldfarthenry: And yet statistics show young drivers get in more accidents than us old farts - probably due to your g'damn hippity-hop music being too loud while you're trying to take a phone pic of your new tit-tat for you facebook page.
TURN THAT F**KIN' SH*T DOWN AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, YOU SNOT-NOSED PUKES!

either you're not as old as you think you are or you're still in very good condition regardless of your age.
of course young drivers get in a lot of accidents - that's what happens when you are learning a skill, you make mistakes. even an old fool should know that. young people are also out and about driving to school, work and recreation while old farts folks rarely leave the driveway.

the problem is old folks who become a danger to themselves and others but refuse to let good sense prevail. my mom is 82-83, can barely see, cannot walk (wheelchair) and takes medication daily trying to avoid more seizures. yes, she speaks of getting behind the wheel again as if she is merely dealing with a temporary set-back. some people choose to live in denial. i have no doubt if she could get herself into a car she would try to go to bingo. unfarkingbelievable.

my mom is like most people her age. she is bitter and angry because she has lost her independence. she wants everything to be just like it used to be come hell or high water. she refuses to face reality and accept that what is, is. and she takes out her anger on her family that is caring for her, making their lives miserable and making their last memories of her absolutely terrible ones.

driving or not driving is a tiny portion of the hell a bitter aging parent can put you through. and these are the same folks that held open the door to kick you out on your 18th - as if you didn't want to run out screaming on your own. making sure their power of attorney / living will is up to date so they don't wind up in a situation they don't want to be in can be an expensive exercise in futility if your parent chooses ...


Since YOUR pycho-biatch mom is a menace on the road then ALL elderly drivers are menaces as well! (Or you're just projecting your issues on the whole world as opposed to actually seeking help.)
 
2012-12-17 03:49:10 PM
"In reality, what we know is that older drivers are actually among the safest drivers on the roads," Berlin says.

I don't think that is even remotely close to true. Like, at all.
 
2012-12-17 03:50:44 PM

garandman1a: When grandpa drives with his left foot on the brake, when he actually slows down you are the one with the new spot on the seat (if you're lucky), or wrapped around a pole or sitting in the back of grandpas Buick.


Also, why every car should automatically cut the throttle if it is an automatic and sees you have a foot on both pedals. If you're stopping, stop. Call it runaway throttle prevention and blame Honda or Toyota or whomever.
 
2012-12-17 03:52:40 PM

KrispyKritter:
my mom is like most people her age. she is bitter and angry because she has lost her independence. she wants everything to be just like it used to be come hell or high water. she refuses to face reality and accept that what is, is. and she takes out her anger on her family that is caring for her, making their lives miserable and making their last memories of her absolutely terrible ones.

driving or not driving is a tiny portion of the hell a bitter aging parent can put you through. and these are the same folks that held open the door to kick you out on your 18th - as if you didn't want to run out screaming on your own. making sure their power of attorney / living will is up to date so they don't wind up in a situation they don't want to be in can be an expensive exercise in futility if your parent chooses ...


o.0

/dafuq
 
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