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(The Register)   A second Higgs boson has hit the LHC   ( theregister.co.uk) divider line
    More: Cool, LHC, CERN, boson, big data, errors, electron volts, Particle Physics, photons  
•       •       •

20512 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 11:49 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



136 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-12-17 10:45:45 AM  
I'm still waiting for them to come up with a reliable sarcasm detector. Probably not enough grant money in it.
 
2012-12-17 11:15:06 AM  
When?
 
2012-12-17 11:23:58 AM  
I don't know why everyone is so excited about a Higgs boson. That's just one step above a Higgs Able Seaman.
 
2012-12-17 11:31:25 AM  

Snarfangel: I don't know why everyone is so excited about a Higgs boson. That's just one step above a Higgs Able Seaman.


Nice.
 
2012-12-17 11:53:25 AM  

Snarfangel: I don't know why everyone is so excited about a Higgs boson. That's just one step above a Higgs Able Seaman.


There's a Star Trek slashfic joke in here somewhere, if only I can find it...
 
2012-12-17 11:55:09 AM  
regmedia.co.uk


I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


/here comes the snark
 
2012-12-17 11:55:41 AM  
Does this mean the LHC cockpit doors will now be locked?
 
2012-12-17 11:56:16 AM  
Oh great, now we'll be finding them EVERYWHERE.
 
2012-12-17 11:56:47 AM  
I love me a pair of bosons.
 
2012-12-17 11:58:50 AM  
shouldn't this be SCARY instead of COOL???? what with the end of the world right around the corner

and that Simpsons episode involving the LHC??
 
2012-12-17 11:58:51 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com

What the higgs Bosoms might look like.
 
2012-12-17 12:01:31 PM  

FriarReb98: When?


It's irrelevant.
 
2012-12-17 12:02:12 PM  
I bought one of their wave radios when it first came out.

Amazing sound quality from such a small device.
 
2012-12-17 12:03:22 PM  
We need Higgs boson deniers NOW!
 
2012-12-17 12:04:28 PM  
Just in time for the holidays !
 
2012-12-17 12:07:50 PM  
Bravo, subby. I LOL'ed hysterically.
 
2012-12-17 12:08:11 PM  

ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]


I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


/here comes the snark


Unlike many internet armchair physicists.....I don't even pretend to be able fathom why the fark the particle is so important, let alone what it is. I just like it because ignorant Christian "scientists" get their panties in a bunch over it.
 
2012-12-17 12:08:20 PM  
Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

www.divinedominoes.com 

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-17 12:08:28 PM  
If the HB gets to be called the "god particle," does a second one mean we're only one short of a trinity? Or if there are just the two, is that Quantum Gnosticism? Or are we heading toward a full polytheistic pantheon?
 
2012-12-17 12:09:58 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


Wow they all spelled "atheist" correctly. Progress!
 
2012-12-17 12:11:19 PM  
the next big data release from CERN is scheduled for March - or, as particle physicist Adam Falkowski blogs, it could result from a "systematic error"

If that guy doesn't somehow work "The Big Falkowski" into his blog that would be a shame...
 
2012-12-17 12:11:24 PM  

Kit Fister: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x671]

What the higgs Bosoms might look like.


Your guess is a whole lot better than the others I have heard/seen.
/definately probably possibly maybe theoretically
 
2012-12-17 12:13:17 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


Oh Jesus.
 
2012-12-17 12:13:55 PM  
So it's got three boobs. go on...
 
2012-12-17 12:14:11 PM  
It could, of course, be a statistical blip that disappears as more data is collected - the next big data release from CERN is scheduled for March - or, as particle physicist Adam Falkowski blogs, it could result from a "systematic error" (he humourously posits "alcohol abuse" as a possibility).

Spilled beer on server?
 
2012-12-17 12:14:32 PM  

ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]


I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


/here comes the snark


It means we are much closer to This

NSFW
 
2012-12-17 12:15:04 PM  

ltdanman44: I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


imagine this plot as a venn diagram... The crosses are the most probable values extracted from the data analysis. The analysis was done separately in two decay channels (gamma-gamma and 4 leptons). The black cross is the best estimate mass vs signal strength for both channels added together.
But looking at the two decay modes separately, the mass is different by ~2 GeV.

the lines are confidence contours. the solid lines are "1-sigma" - i.e. one standard deviation if you want to think of this as a Gaussian (normal) distribution.

The difference between the two masses (blue and red crosses) is a ~2.5 sigma effect, which makes it intriguing - but it's not discovery-level just yet...

cheers
 
2012-12-17 12:15:11 PM  
The third one will be the end of the world. 4 days left to go! Right on schedule.
 
2012-12-17 12:15:20 PM  

Citrate1007: Unlike many internet armchair physicists.....I don't even pretend to be able fathom why the fark the particle is so important, let alone what it is. I just like it because ignorant Christian "scientists" get their panties in a bunch over it.


The best way I've had it explained to me-
(NOTE: I AM NOT A HIGH ENERGY OR PARTICLE OR THEORETICAL PHYSICIST. I'm a Nano-physicist. THIS IS NOT MY FIELD. I also don't *quite* have my PhD yet.)

According to some theory whose name I don't remember, The Higgs Boson gives rise to the Higgs Field, which is, in turn, what causes *EVERYTHING* to have mass.

Like... picture a big, vast field of wet snow, with various objects being pushed/moving through it. Some objects will slide through the snow 'faster' than others (due to how they're shaped, or what they're made of, etc; The inherent properties of the object.). As in our world, some particles have more or less mass based on how they interact with the Higgs field.

But pretend that the snow is EVERYWHERE. You've never seen anywhere that's *not* snow, and since it's wet it all sticks together and it's hard to see what the snow is *made* of.

So you throw dynamite in it to try and blow up chunks into the air, so you can watch how they fall/etc. That's (SORT OF) what the LHC is doing. We've 'seen' a snowflake, in a sense: The particle that gives rise to the whole field which makes things have mass.

Does this have practical applications now? Probably not. But Electricity and Magnetism used to just be scientific curiosities, as well. So who knows how this will be used in the future? Maybe we'll find ways to 'insulate' things from the field.

(If I am wrong, someone PLEASE call me out and correct me! This was just my best understanding of it.)
 
2012-12-17 12:15:32 PM  

JackieRabbit: We need Higgs boson deniers NOW!


We already have plenty built in.
You see, the way real science works, every scientist is a denier until you produce repeatable, demonstrable, RESULTS.
Something that holds up to scientific scrutiny and skepticism.
Predictions? Not at all part of real science no matter what lipstick you put on it.
 
2012-12-17 12:17:02 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
...and then this particle bumped into that particle and had a baby!

When do we get to see Higg's bosom? During the feeding?
 
2012-12-17 12:17:51 PM  
(he humourously posits "alcohol abuse" as a possibility).

He got the whiskey Higgs.
 
2012-12-17 12:17:59 PM  

themasterdebater: The third one will be the end of the world. 4 days left to go! Right on schedule.


And Gangnam Style only needs 30 million more hits to get to 1 billion by Friday, thus fulfilling the fake Nostradamus prophecy.
 
2012-12-17 12:18:45 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


There's no way that's real.
 
2012-12-17 12:19:03 PM  

ltdanman44: I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please?


I'm not a particle physicist, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night...

The Higgs Boson was predicted by the standard model to exist between 125 and 127 Giga Electron Volts (GeV). Unexpectedly, there appear to be two particles that fit the range, and that's what you're seeing in the graph. One (blue in the graph) centers around 123.5 GeV, and the other (red) at 126.5 GeV.

What they don't explain very well is that this is fairly preliminary data, and we'll most likely discover an anomaly that explains why we're seeing multiple particles that are so close in mass; the math allows for multiple Higgs particles, but the closeness in mass is unexpected and not as easy to explain.

Then again, we may find that these results are reproducible and consistent, and that there's something wrong with the standard model of particle physics. If this turns out to be the case, it has the potential for removing some of the restrictions of our current understanding of physics (faster than light travel, anyone?) and a massive rewrite of theoretical physics.
 
2012-12-17 12:19:42 PM  

Kit Fister: What the higgs Bosoms might look like.


We need to press them against glass to really be sure if they are real or just scientific artifacts
 
2012-12-17 12:21:15 PM  
What boobs against glass might look like (VNSFW if you have SS turned off):

Link
 
2012-12-17 12:21:18 PM  

wjllope: [[Lots of sciency stuff with sigma explanations]]


Well put, sir.
 
2012-12-17 12:21:50 PM  
How long until they discover one in a field in Pennsylvania?
 
2012-12-17 12:22:23 PM  
Also.

What Bosun Higgs may look like.

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-17 12:22:28 PM  
The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.
 
2012-12-17 12:22:40 PM  

Kit Fister: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x671]

What the higgs Bosoms might look like.


Thank you.

Now this thread can get started!
 
2012-12-17 12:22:51 PM  
So when does the oil hit the anus? Three more Higgs-bosons?
 
2012-12-17 12:23:07 PM  
I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."
 
2012-12-17 12:24:39 PM  
It's time to atom for our sins. We've seen what happens when you take God out of physics.
 
2012-12-17 12:24:48 PM  
I've never seen anything so big constructed to find something so small. 'Cept maybe the War On Drugs.
 
2012-12-17 12:27:53 PM  
2nd higgs boson? 2 gods??
 
2012-12-17 12:28:17 PM  

Citrate1007: ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]


I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


/here comes the snark

Unlike many internet armchair physicists.....I don't even pretend to be able fathom why the fark the particle is so important, let alone what it is. I just like it because ignorant Christian "scientists" get their panties in a bunch over it.


In short it proves the standard model, which well all take for granted as true, to be true. It is a particle essential to how things acquire mass (other than potato chips), proves that electromagnetism and the weak force are different manifestations of the same force, etc. It's like being excited about quantum physics discoveries. We can't really know that research into this is going to give us things like transistors to GPS in 50 years but it's supposed to be that important.

The graphic is just what it says below the picture, a representation of the Higgs Boson unit of mass in giga-electron volts. It's important because it falls into the range that they predicted the particle would be if it exists.

I am not smart enough to understand it all either but it's really cool. I don't think it'll give us teleportation or anything but it will go a ways in understanding how gravity works, I think. I dunno, just neat to watch.
 
2012-12-17 12:28:19 PM  
So this is what God was doing on Friday!
 
2012-12-17 12:28:47 PM  

Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-17 12:28:57 PM  

Xenomech: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

There's no way that's real.


Never underestimate the stupidity of people on Twitter. It's the densest substance known to mankind.
 
2012-12-17 12:29:21 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


If there is one subject that Christians know less about than the actual teaching of Jesus, it's quantum physics.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:03 PM  

Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.


You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:43 PM  

Citrate1007: ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]


I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


/here comes the snark

Unlike many internet armchair physicists.....I don't even pretend to be able fathom why the fark the particle is so important, let alone what it is. I just like it because ignorant Christian "scientists" get their panties in a bunch over it.


Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe. It is an important discovery, since it pulls together much of what we understands about the physicality of the universe and proves what has been theoretical.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:48 PM  
the idea behind the higgs boson is quite wrong, but a very good effort considering our limited understanding of the universe. this moment will be looked back upon the first piece of evidence in a long string that proves that we exist in a multi-verse and that it is indeed possible to travel from dimension to dimension. have fun finding out the rest, it will change everything we think we know about physics.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:49 PM  

Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."


heh. But the Higgs (or whatever this resonance seen at the LHC is) must be created all the time in the universe. There are protons flying through space with energies a whole lot higher than that of the LHC beams.... These Higgs things then live for a very short time and decay into two gammas, or two Z's, or whatever, which then fly off into space and no one is the wiser... This is just the first time we've managed to create some inside a detector capable of measuring these decay products, which allowed us to infer there was a boson that produced those decay particles.... cheers
 
2012-12-17 12:32:36 PM  

Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.


I dunno, I envision the Higgs canceler to be used for something more like this:

http://www.theonion.com/video/kim-jong-il-announces-plan-to-bring-mo on -to-north,14305/
 
2012-12-17 12:32:36 PM  
Kind of like an ascii goatse pic, you ask me
 
2012-12-17 12:33:26 PM  
I don't see what the big deal is. I have half a dozen Higgs bosons in my garage. Haven't used 'em in years.
 
2012-12-17 12:33:33 PM  

Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."


yes, it's kind of like that. once we discover that last piece of information that explains how the universe works, it's like hitting a reset button and it starts all over. being oblivious has its perks.
 
2012-12-17 12:33:51 PM  

max_pooper: If there is one subject that Christians know less about than the actual teaching of Jesus, it's quantum physics.


This is true for non-Christians as well, though.

/SHUT UP DEEPAK CHOPRA, SHUT UUUUPPP! Quantum mechanics is not FARKING MAGIC OR NEW AGE MYSTICISM.
/Whoop sorry that just always hits one of my few buttons, for some reason.
 
2012-12-17 12:34:06 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.


Won't they?

media.primeinspiration.com

/hot
 
2012-12-17 12:35:09 PM  

maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?

[media.primeinspiration.com image 600x375]

/hot


eh, i always loved Tali more than her.
 
2012-12-17 12:36:18 PM  
This thread still makes more sense than the last time someone tried to explain string thoery to me.

That just sounds like a bunch of psychadelic babbling.
 
2012-12-17 12:43:26 PM  
t3.gstatic.com

ytrewq.com

/oblig
 
2012-12-17 12:43:58 PM  

wjllope: Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."

heh. But the Higgs (or whatever this resonance seen at the LHC is) must be created all the time in the universe. There are protons flying through space with energies a whole lot higher than that of the LHC beams.... These Higgs things then live for a very short time and decay into two gammas, or two Z's, or whatever, which then fly off into space and no one is the wiser... This is just the first time we've managed to create some inside a detector capable of measuring these decay products, which allowed us to infer there was a boson that produced those decay particles.... cheers


"Attention Earth, this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz. Before proceeding to other matters, I direct you to submit one wjllope for immediate rehabilitation. Section 3, Article 4 of the Vogon Criminal Code clearly prohibits interfering with the plot lines of potential future scifi novels. The Vogon Secret Service will not protect you. We do this shiat all the time."
 
2012-12-17 12:47:14 PM  

ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]

I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please

/here comes the snark


think of the graph as a dart board.

we are trying to figure out where the person throwing the darts was aiming. The target is no longer available, but we can see where the darts landed.

if we assume just one location for a target -- we come up with the black cross.

but if we examine the location of all darts -- it looks like there were actually two locations (blue and red crosses).

that seems to be the best fit -- although as wjllope said with his 2.5 sigma comment: there haven't been enough darts holes seen to really commit to the theory of two target locations.

so crosses are assumed center of a target (or targets) (best fit)
the solid lines are the limit of the most likely places targets could have been
the dotted lines are the limit of less likely, but possible places the targets could have been.

----------------------------------------------

as an aside: instead of dart locations thrown at a board, what we are talking about is the mass of a particle -- we assume a particle has ONE exact mass -- any time we see something with that mass and some other features we say "aha -- that's this one particle" -- but it seems this higgs boson has two masses

although it seems the features are slightly different so I don't understand why we aren't calling this two different particles instead of one.
 
2012-12-17 12:48:37 PM  
cdn.smosh.com
 
2012-12-17 12:49:05 PM  

maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?


Meh, Liara is a xeno-anthropologist, not a quantum physicist. And Shepard isn't a scientist at all (unless you could make the argument he's a "military scientist"). Does Chief Engineer Adams ever get laid? No. Not until Bioware releases the "Have Sex With the Whole Crew" DLC.
 
2012-12-17 12:52:32 PM  
joshoncreek.files.wordpress.com

d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2012-12-17 12:54:21 PM  

Dr. Whoof: maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?

Meh, Liara is a xeno-anthropologist, not a quantum physicist. And Shepard isn't a scientist at all (unless you could make the argument he's a "military scientist"). Does Chief Engineer Adams ever get laid? No. Not until Bioware releases the "Have Sex With the Whole Crew" DLC.


Good point. But you can get with Tali'Zorah, and she's an engineer.

But I guess even engineer still isn't scientist. So that leaves Mordin, and nobody wants to fark a salarian.
 
2012-12-17 12:55:50 PM  

keithgabryelski: higgs boson has two masses


So it's a Catholic God particle?
 
2012-12-17 12:56:25 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


How's your Polytheistic Particle now????!!
 
2012-12-17 12:58:10 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


The only thing I can do is laugh.
 
2012-12-17 01:00:06 PM  

Dr. Whoof: maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?

Meh, Liara is a xeno-anthropologist, not a quantum physicist. And Shepard isn't a scientist at all (unless you could make the argument he's a "military scientist"). Does Chief Engineer Adams ever get laid? No. Not until Bioware releases the "Have Sex With the Whole Crew" DLC.


Adams was banging the doctor.
 
2012-12-17 01:00:55 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Xenomech: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

There's no way that's real.

Never underestimate the stupidity of people on Twitter. It's the densest substance known to mankind.


I thought that was Youtube.
 
2012-12-17 01:03:54 PM  
Would this be the Higgs Bosons Mate?
 
2012-12-17 01:09:38 PM  

werem00se: Would this be the Higgs Bosons Mate?


Gonna be trouble about whose turn it is in the barrel.
 
2012-12-17 01:16:05 PM  
OMG! The earth is decaying!
 
2012-12-17 01:16:24 PM  
Geek humor:

A Higgs bosun walks into a church. The priest says, "We don't allow your kind in here." The Higgs bosun says, "What do you mean? You can't have mass without me."

* * * * *

Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No. But I can tell you where I am."

* * * * *

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein closes his eyes and counts. Pascal runs to hide, but Newton simply pulls a piece of chalk from his pocket and draws a square around himself. Einstein opens his eyes, sees Newton, and grabs him. "I caught you," Einstein says. "No," replies Newton. "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."

* * * * *

And my favorite:

What do neutrinos and I have in common?

We are both constantly penetrating your mom.
 
2012-12-17 01:17:01 PM  
minute physical on higgs boson

short and sweet with references to other minute physics videos that fill in the gaps
 
2012-12-17 01:22:00 PM  

werem00se: Would this be the Higgs Bosons Mate?


Nah, just a hook up. He won't stay long. He may want a sammich first.
 
2012-12-17 01:36:08 PM  
And on Friday, the LHC will end the world while one lucky scientist will be sent back in time. It is he who gave the date to the Mayans before he passed from complications of time travel.
 
2012-12-17 01:37:01 PM  

max_pooper: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

If there is one subject that Christians know less about than the actual teaching of Jesus, it's quantum physics.


LOL!
 
2012-12-17 01:48:21 PM  

srhp29: And on Friday, the LHC will end the world while one lucky scientist will be sent back in time. It is he who gave the date to the Mayans before he passed from complications of time travel.


Yeah, we'd better go stock up on guns and ammo. And bread and milk, too.
 
2012-12-17 01:49:58 PM  
I want to start a hosiery company called "Biggs" and then launch an ad campaign saying, "Get your Biggs hose on!"
 
2012-12-17 01:53:56 PM  
i14.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-17 02:12:47 PM  

JackieRabbit: Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe.


I am not a physicist, and this maybe be nonsense, but ... I thought the theory with the Higgs uses special relativity, not general relativity, and so we're talking about inertial mass, not gravitational mass. That is, the interaction with the Higgs explains why particles with mass (like electrons) travel at less than the speed of light, and you need to put in energy to make them go faster, but it does not explain why there is a very weak gravitational attraction between particles with mass. (Though, presumably, a desire to figure out how quantum mechanics and general relativity fit together is one of the reasons why experimental data about thrthe Higgs is interesting).
 
2012-12-17 02:20:11 PM  

SusanY: JackieRabbit: Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe.

I am not a physicist, and this maybe be nonsense, but ... I thought the theory with the Higgs uses special relativity, not general relativity, and so we're talking about inertial mass, not gravitational mass. That is, the interaction with the Higgs explains why particles with mass (like electrons) travel at less than the speed of light, and you need to put in energy to make them go faster, but it does not explain why there is a very weak gravitational attraction between particles with mass. (Though, presumably, a desire to figure out how quantum mechanics and general relativity fit together is one of the reasons why experimental data about thrthe Higgs is interesting).


Hm. So while a Higgs field canceler would not be anti-gravity, we'd still have intertialess drive, a la Lensman? I'm OK with this.
 
2012-12-17 02:27:07 PM  

SusanY: JackieRabbit: Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe.

I am not a physicist, and this maybe be nonsense, but ... I thought the theory with the Higgs uses special relativity, not general relativity, and so we're talking about inertial mass, not gravitational mass. That is, the interaction with the Higgs explains why particles with mass (like electrons) travel at less than the speed of light, and you need to put in energy to make them go faster, but it does not explain why there is a very weak gravitational attraction between particles with mass. (Though, presumably, a desire to figure out how quantum mechanics and general relativity fit together is one of the reasons why experimental data about thrthe Higgs is interesting).


Special relativity and General relativity are the same theory. Special relativity is merely a special case of general relativity (i.e. general relativity in the special case of no acceleration).

There isn't any different between inertial mass and gravitational mass in either theory.
 
2012-12-17 02:28:16 PM  
The headline I was expecting:

SECOND HIGGS BOSON DISCOVERED

THIS ONE'S PINK

/leaving disappointed
//better not be obscure on fark
 
2012-12-17 02:31:27 PM  

srhp29: And on Friday, the LHC will end the world while one lucky scientist will be sent back in time. It is he who gave the date to the Mayans before he passed from complications of time travel.


If only some modern day assassin would sacrifice their life to save the planet...
 
2012-12-17 02:53:40 PM  

maachubo: But I guess even engineer still isn't scientist.


If you ask a question and attempt to find the answer, you're a scientist.
 
2012-12-17 02:55:17 PM  
As long as they don't "pop" the false vacuum that we are all potentially living in I'm OK with this.
 
2012-12-17 03:11:10 PM  
Second detection.

Based on the way they're detecting them, that means there have been a hell of a lot more than 2 of them.
 
2012-12-17 03:18:28 PM  
There's so much drama in the LHC
 
2012-12-17 03:26:33 PM  

Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."


You can make a reasonable decent argument that Revelations predicts that as soon as humans learn to manipulate mass and time at the particle level, we immediately try to verify the Book of Revelations and rip a warmhole into our own past, and destroy the Earth.
 
2012-12-17 03:27:52 PM  
So, there's two particles that are too close together in mass, making up the particle that decides exactly how massive all particles are. Including themselves, presumably. Got it
 
2012-12-17 03:32:05 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


Are those people retards?
 
2012-12-17 03:45:18 PM  
I'm not terribly concerned. If CERN does trigger the end of the world, Hououin Kyouma will send a text back in time to keep it from happening.

/obscure?
 
2012-12-17 03:48:41 PM  
It's probably the first one again only transposed in time.
 
2012-12-17 03:52:48 PM  
maybe teh Higgs Boson is just a little stoned. from hitting the THC instead of LHC
 
2012-12-17 03:57:09 PM  

firemanbuck: keithgabryelski: higgs boson has two masses

So it's a Catholic God particle?


There's a special Saturday night Higgs Boson for those particles that like to stay out all night drinking and sleep in on Sunday morning.
 
2012-12-17 04:24:10 PM  

Ed Grubermann: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

Are those people retards?


I believe the accepted term is "Palin-Americans", but...

That's not really the worst.
api.ning.com


And this stellar example....
img8.joyreactor.com
 
2012-12-17 04:25:12 PM  
www.gagbay.com
 
2012-12-17 04:28:31 PM  
No Contact reference yet? I am disappoint.

"First rule in government spending: why build one when you can have two at twice the price? Only, this one can be kept secret."

i.qkme.me
 
2012-12-17 04:30:08 PM  
Cool, subby? COOL? Do you realize what will happen if they screw up there and cause a resonance cascade?

Yeah, it sounds "cool" now but you won't be saying that when you have head crabs.

/goes to make sure there's enough crowbars on hand
 
2012-12-17 04:33:13 PM  

Kit Fister: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x671]

What the higgs Bosoms might look like.


That picture gives me a hadron.
 
2012-12-17 04:37:18 PM  
There goes the neighborhood.
 
2012-12-17 04:49:06 PM  

Occam's Taser: Geek humor:

A Higgs bosun walks into a church. The priest says, "We don't allow your kind in here." The Higgs bosun says, "What do you mean? You can't have mass without me."

* * * * *

Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No. But I can tell you where I am."

* * * * *

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein closes his eyes and counts. Pascal runs to hide, but Newton simply pulls a piece of chalk from his pocket and draws a square around himself. Einstein opens his eyes, sees Newton, and grabs him. "I caught you," Einstein says. "No," replies Newton. "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."

* * * * *

And my favorite:

What do neutrinos and I have in common?

We are both constantly penetrating your mom.


Is it sad I got all of those?

Also:
Two atoms are walking when the first atom says "damn! I just lost an electron!" Second atom: "are you sure?" First: "yes, I'm positive."


/not sure if the other atom will feel attracted or repulsed by that information
 
2012-12-17 05:05:44 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Ed Grubermann: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

Are those people retards?

I believe the accepted term is "Palin-Americans", but...

That's not really the worst.
[api.ning.com image 483x555]


And this stellar example....
[img8.joyreactor.com image 568x247]


Again:
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-17 05:09:30 PM  
Goddamnitsomuch.

There is a statistical difference in results between two detectors in a particular data channel which could, if it remains with a great deal more data and checking, reach the level of indicating that there is a second Higgs boson.

There is not "a second Higgs boson." When we have that confirmation, you'll know because everyone at CERN will look like jizzinmypants.jpg.
 
2012-12-17 05:35:05 PM  

Solon Isonomia: Dr. Whoof: Ed Grubermann: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

Are those people retards?

I believe the accepted term is "Palin-Americans", but...

That's not really the worst.
[api.ning.com image 483x555]


And this stellar example....
[img8.joyreactor.com image 568x247]

Again:
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


Eh. Gotta figure some are fake, especially that second one. Or at least the person is joking.
 
2012-12-17 05:36:53 PM  
the sun is not a star. fark is not a news aggregator. it is a STEM. yes you heard it here. it is a STEM.
 
2012-12-17 05:53:07 PM  
"Finding the Higgs boson" is one of those Seinfeldisms, right?

Like "waxing the dolphin"?
 
2012-12-17 07:11:34 PM  
www.sadgeezer.com

/obscured
 
2012-12-17 07:20:41 PM  
Kit Fister:
What boobs against glass might look like (VNSFW if you have SS turned off):

Link


As an avid fan of boobs of all sorts,
I must say that some of those bordered on absolutely frightening.
A few even crept into striking distance of disgusting.
 
2012-12-17 07:30:15 PM  

Kit Fister: What boobs against glass might look like (VNSFW if you have SS turned off):

Link


Oh Billy
 
2012-12-17 07:30:58 PM  
Boss on
 
2012-12-17 07:43:18 PM  

Curt Blizzah: There's so much drama in the LHC


hiscrivener.files.wordpress.com

/ In case someone doesn't gtfj
 
2012-12-17 07:50:11 PM  

FriarReb98: When?


A Higgs boson walks into a church. The minister says "I'm sorry, I don't allow Higgs bosons in here..."

The Higgs boson says "of course you do! How else do you expect to have any mass?"

/rimshot
 
2012-12-17 08:05:02 PM  
This whole thread is exciting.
 
2012-12-17 08:29:05 PM  

erik-k: Goddamnitsomuch. There is a statistical difference in results between two detectors in a particular data channel which could, if it remains with a great deal more data and checking, reach the level of indicating that there is a second Higgs boson.


I get your drift there but if they are separate detections of the same particle why would one decay into 2 Z particles and the other into 2 photons. They could be observing unstable intermediates slightly after the original Higgs decays into 2 (just a guess). There is something more going on here and I don't think anyone has a clue quite yet. They need buttloads more of these events to make sense of it, 2 out of trillions is not much of a data pool.
 
2012-12-17 08:31:01 PM  
To mass?
 
2012-12-17 09:20:20 PM  

StaleCoffee: This whole thread is exciting.


as exciting as... O

/I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE
//drinking fresh coffee right now, so I'm getting a kick...
 
2012-12-17 09:23:50 PM  

Citrate1007: ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]


I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


/here comes the snark

Unlike many internet armchair physicists.....I don't even pretend to be able fathom why the fark the particle is so important, let alone what it is. I just like it because ignorant Christian "scientists" get their panties in a bunch over it.


Basically, the Higgs field is what gives all matter mass. The Higgs boson is proof of that. Up until now we had no proven explanation as to why matter has mass at all.
 
2012-12-17 09:43:56 PM  
Why mass? B/c it's large...

*)

P.S. To Boss
 
2012-12-17 10:31:24 PM  
the possibility...


/call me when you're sure.
 
2012-12-17 10:41:59 PM  

Son of Thunder: If the HB gets to be called the "god particle," does a second one mean we're only one short of a trinity? Or if there are just the two, is that Quantum Gnosticism? Or are we heading toward a full polytheistic pantheon?


The Boson has flavor. God and Satan.

Seriously if there are two of them then it needs to be renamed the Higgs Bosom.
 
2012-12-17 11:37:33 PM  

SusanY: JackieRabbit: Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe.

I am not a physicist, and this maybe be nonsense, but ... I thought the theory with the Higgs uses special relativity, not general relativity, and so we're talking about inertial mass, not gravitational mass. That is, the interaction with the Higgs explains why particles with mass (like electrons) travel at less than the speed of light, and you need to put in energy to make them go faster, but it does not explain why there is a very weak gravitational attraction between particles with mass. (Though, presumably, a desire to figure out how quantum mechanics and general relativity fit together is one of the reasons why experimental data about thrthe Higgs is interesting).


Close. You were correct to find the initial statement off. The Higgs field is not connected to general relativity and gravity in an obvious way and it is not the only thing that gives mass to matter. The key here is realizing that even if their elementary particles were massless, hadrons can still have mass from the binding energy.

If you want more detail, there are a couple of fairly accessable posts [here] and [here] from physicist Matt Strassler explaining this point, which is often misunderstood.
 
2012-12-18 12:11:34 AM  
About time. Those things are everywhere and they should be tripping over them.
 
2012-12-18 12:58:02 AM  
Ok, so can we stop blowing insane amounts of power on these tests now?
 
2012-12-18 02:31:54 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Photos from the site are coming in.
 
2012-12-18 09:52:42 AM  

Snarfangel: I don't know why everyone is so excited about a Higgs boson. That's just one step above a Higgs Able Seaman.


You owe me a new keyboard. Bastard.
 
2012-12-18 11:06:57 AM  
I think God just makes it up as a goes along, much like the producers of Battlestar Galactica

fc04.deviantart.net
 
2012-12-18 05:48:23 PM  
I don't know anyhing about the higgs boson, but finding a second one in the original finding, is worrisome.
The readings could be faulty due to the anomoly and it may prove that neither were higgs.
Or they both might. But finding a second higgs right next to the other one, when they had so much trouble finding even one... It leads me to think error. Not that the higgs boson doesn't exist. in fact scientists are fairly certain it exists.
What's more likely? After years of searching, they find two higgs bosons at the same time? Or, that there is a computer error that made a shadow? Or, hell, that the shadow is actually skewing the data and it's all wrong.

(I'd like to think it's an evil villian boson from the nega verse, but scientists are buzz killers)

I love science. But anomolies, and two unicorns with very similar mass.... Seems a tad iffy.

The real red flag is the journalism spectical of the whole thing. It's even termed "The God Particle". Oh please. Be more dramatic. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out to be a "mistake" after the next round of funding is secure.

Or whatever. Just a thought.
 
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