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(The Register)   A second Higgs boson has hit the LHC   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 136
    More: Cool, LHC, CERN, boson, big data, errors, electron volts, Particle Physics, photons  
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20483 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 11:49 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-17 12:28:57 PM  

Xenomech: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

There's no way that's real.


Never underestimate the stupidity of people on Twitter. It's the densest substance known to mankind.
 
2012-12-17 12:29:21 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


If there is one subject that Christians know less about than the actual teaching of Jesus, it's quantum physics.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:03 PM  

Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.


You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:43 PM  

Citrate1007: ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]


I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please


/here comes the snark

Unlike many internet armchair physicists.....I don't even pretend to be able fathom why the fark the particle is so important, let alone what it is. I just like it because ignorant Christian "scientists" get their panties in a bunch over it.


Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe. It is an important discovery, since it pulls together much of what we understands about the physicality of the universe and proves what has been theoretical.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:48 PM  
the idea behind the higgs boson is quite wrong, but a very good effort considering our limited understanding of the universe. this moment will be looked back upon the first piece of evidence in a long string that proves that we exist in a multi-verse and that it is indeed possible to travel from dimension to dimension. have fun finding out the rest, it will change everything we think we know about physics.
 
2012-12-17 12:31:49 PM  

Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."


heh. But the Higgs (or whatever this resonance seen at the LHC is) must be created all the time in the universe. There are protons flying through space with energies a whole lot higher than that of the LHC beams.... These Higgs things then live for a very short time and decay into two gammas, or two Z's, or whatever, which then fly off into space and no one is the wiser... This is just the first time we've managed to create some inside a detector capable of measuring these decay products, which allowed us to infer there was a boson that produced those decay particles.... cheers
 
2012-12-17 12:32:36 PM  

Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.


I dunno, I envision the Higgs canceler to be used for something more like this:

http://www.theonion.com/video/kim-jong-il-announces-plan-to-bring-mo on -to-north,14305/
 
2012-12-17 12:32:36 PM  
Kind of like an ascii goatse pic, you ask me
 
2012-12-17 12:33:26 PM  
I don't see what the big deal is. I have half a dozen Higgs bosons in my garage. Haven't used 'em in years.
 
2012-12-17 12:33:33 PM  

Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."


yes, it's kind of like that. once we discover that last piece of information that explains how the universe works, it's like hitting a reset button and it starts all over. being oblivious has its perks.
 
2012-12-17 12:33:51 PM  

max_pooper: If there is one subject that Christians know less about than the actual teaching of Jesus, it's quantum physics.


This is true for non-Christians as well, though.

/SHUT UP DEEPAK CHOPRA, SHUT UUUUPPP! Quantum mechanics is not FARKING MAGIC OR NEW AGE MYSTICISM.
/Whoop sorry that just always hits one of my few buttons, for some reason.
 
2012-12-17 12:34:06 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.


Won't they?

media.primeinspiration.com

/hot
 
2012-12-17 12:35:09 PM  

maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?

[media.primeinspiration.com image 600x375]

/hot


eh, i always loved Tali more than her.
 
2012-12-17 12:36:18 PM  
This thread still makes more sense than the last time someone tried to explain string thoery to me.

That just sounds like a bunch of psychadelic babbling.
 
2012-12-17 12:43:26 PM  
t3.gstatic.com

ytrewq.com

/oblig
 
2012-12-17 12:43:58 PM  

wjllope: Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."

heh. But the Higgs (or whatever this resonance seen at the LHC is) must be created all the time in the universe. There are protons flying through space with energies a whole lot higher than that of the LHC beams.... These Higgs things then live for a very short time and decay into two gammas, or two Z's, or whatever, which then fly off into space and no one is the wiser... This is just the first time we've managed to create some inside a detector capable of measuring these decay products, which allowed us to infer there was a boson that produced those decay particles.... cheers


"Attention Earth, this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz. Before proceeding to other matters, I direct you to submit one wjllope for immediate rehabilitation. Section 3, Article 4 of the Vogon Criminal Code clearly prohibits interfering with the plot lines of potential future scifi novels. The Vogon Secret Service will not protect you. We do this shiat all the time."
 
2012-12-17 12:47:14 PM  

ltdanman44: [regmedia.co.uk image 600x430]

I have no idea what I am seeing here. Can someone translate please

/here comes the snark


think of the graph as a dart board.

we are trying to figure out where the person throwing the darts was aiming. The target is no longer available, but we can see where the darts landed.

if we assume just one location for a target -- we come up with the black cross.

but if we examine the location of all darts -- it looks like there were actually two locations (blue and red crosses).

that seems to be the best fit -- although as wjllope said with his 2.5 sigma comment: there haven't been enough darts holes seen to really commit to the theory of two target locations.

so crosses are assumed center of a target (or targets) (best fit)
the solid lines are the limit of the most likely places targets could have been
the dotted lines are the limit of less likely, but possible places the targets could have been.

----------------------------------------------

as an aside: instead of dart locations thrown at a board, what we are talking about is the mass of a particle -- we assume a particle has ONE exact mass -- any time we see something with that mass and some other features we say "aha -- that's this one particle" -- but it seems this higgs boson has two masses

although it seems the features are slightly different so I don't understand why we aren't calling this two different particles instead of one.
 
2012-12-17 12:48:37 PM  
cdn.smosh.com
 
2012-12-17 12:49:05 PM  

maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?


Meh, Liara is a xeno-anthropologist, not a quantum physicist. And Shepard isn't a scientist at all (unless you could make the argument he's a "military scientist"). Does Chief Engineer Adams ever get laid? No. Not until Bioware releases the "Have Sex With the Whole Crew" DLC.
 
2012-12-17 12:52:32 PM  
joshoncreek.files.wordpress.com

d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2012-12-17 12:54:21 PM  

Dr. Whoof: maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?

Meh, Liara is a xeno-anthropologist, not a quantum physicist. And Shepard isn't a scientist at all (unless you could make the argument he's a "military scientist"). Does Chief Engineer Adams ever get laid? No. Not until Bioware releases the "Have Sex With the Whole Crew" DLC.


Good point. But you can get with Tali'Zorah, and she's an engineer.

But I guess even engineer still isn't scientist. So that leaves Mordin, and nobody wants to fark a salarian.
 
2012-12-17 12:55:50 PM  

keithgabryelski: higgs boson has two masses


So it's a Catholic God particle?
 
2012-12-17 12:56:25 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


How's your Polytheistic Particle now????!!
 
2012-12-17 12:58:10 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


The only thing I can do is laugh.
 
2012-12-17 01:00:06 PM  

Dr. Whoof: maachubo: Dr. Whoof: Frogfoot: The theory is that the Higgs particle gives things mass. If (big if) we can learn to manipulate the Higgs then we might be able to manipulate the mass of objects.
e.g. Need to move something? Get Higgs cancelers and move whatever you want easily. Need that oil tanker out of the gulf before it spills everything? Use your Higgs cancelers and away it goes, off to dry dock for repair and crude oil transfer.

You're thinking small. If you can "cancel" mass, luminal speeds should be possible, aka "lightspeed".

And the scientists still won't get laid for this discovery.

Won't they?

Meh, Liara is a xeno-anthropologist, not a quantum physicist. And Shepard isn't a scientist at all (unless you could make the argument he's a "military scientist"). Does Chief Engineer Adams ever get laid? No. Not until Bioware releases the "Have Sex With the Whole Crew" DLC.


Adams was banging the doctor.
 
2012-12-17 01:00:55 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Xenomech: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

There's no way that's real.

Never underestimate the stupidity of people on Twitter. It's the densest substance known to mankind.


I thought that was Youtube.
 
2012-12-17 01:03:54 PM  
Would this be the Higgs Bosons Mate?
 
2012-12-17 01:09:38 PM  

werem00se: Would this be the Higgs Bosons Mate?


Gonna be trouble about whose turn it is in the barrel.
 
2012-12-17 01:16:05 PM  
OMG! The earth is decaying!
 
2012-12-17 01:16:24 PM  
Geek humor:

A Higgs bosun walks into a church. The priest says, "We don't allow your kind in here." The Higgs bosun says, "What do you mean? You can't have mass without me."

* * * * *

Heisenberg gets pulled over for speeding. The cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies, "No. But I can tell you where I am."

* * * * *

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein closes his eyes and counts. Pascal runs to hide, but Newton simply pulls a piece of chalk from his pocket and draws a square around himself. Einstein opens his eyes, sees Newton, and grabs him. "I caught you," Einstein says. "No," replies Newton. "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."

* * * * *

And my favorite:

What do neutrinos and I have in common?

We are both constantly penetrating your mom.
 
2012-12-17 01:17:01 PM  
minute physical on higgs boson

short and sweet with references to other minute physics videos that fill in the gaps
 
2012-12-17 01:22:00 PM  

werem00se: Would this be the Higgs Bosons Mate?


Nah, just a hook up. He won't stay long. He may want a sammich first.
 
2012-12-17 01:36:08 PM  
And on Friday, the LHC will end the world while one lucky scientist will be sent back in time. It is he who gave the date to the Mayans before he passed from complications of time travel.
 
2012-12-17 01:37:01 PM  

max_pooper: Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]

If there is one subject that Christians know less about than the actual teaching of Jesus, it's quantum physics.


LOL!
 
2012-12-17 01:48:21 PM  

srhp29: And on Friday, the LHC will end the world while one lucky scientist will be sent back in time. It is he who gave the date to the Mayans before he passed from complications of time travel.


Yeah, we'd better go stock up on guns and ammo. And bread and milk, too.
 
2012-12-17 01:49:58 PM  
I want to start a hosiery company called "Biggs" and then launch an ad campaign saying, "Get your Biggs hose on!"
 
2012-12-17 01:53:56 PM  
i14.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-17 02:12:47 PM  

JackieRabbit: Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe.


I am not a physicist, and this maybe be nonsense, but ... I thought the theory with the Higgs uses special relativity, not general relativity, and so we're talking about inertial mass, not gravitational mass. That is, the interaction with the Higgs explains why particles with mass (like electrons) travel at less than the speed of light, and you need to put in energy to make them go faster, but it does not explain why there is a very weak gravitational attraction between particles with mass. (Though, presumably, a desire to figure out how quantum mechanics and general relativity fit together is one of the reasons why experimental data about thrthe Higgs is interesting).
 
2012-12-17 02:20:11 PM  

SusanY: JackieRabbit: Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe.

I am not a physicist, and this maybe be nonsense, but ... I thought the theory with the Higgs uses special relativity, not general relativity, and so we're talking about inertial mass, not gravitational mass. That is, the interaction with the Higgs explains why particles with mass (like electrons) travel at less than the speed of light, and you need to put in energy to make them go faster, but it does not explain why there is a very weak gravitational attraction between particles with mass. (Though, presumably, a desire to figure out how quantum mechanics and general relativity fit together is one of the reasons why experimental data about thrthe Higgs is interesting).


Hm. So while a Higgs field canceler would not be anti-gravity, we'd still have intertialess drive, a la Lensman? I'm OK with this.
 
2012-12-17 02:27:07 PM  

SusanY: JackieRabbit: Without the Higgs boson, matter would not have mass and there would be no gravity in the universe.

I am not a physicist, and this maybe be nonsense, but ... I thought the theory with the Higgs uses special relativity, not general relativity, and so we're talking about inertial mass, not gravitational mass. That is, the interaction with the Higgs explains why particles with mass (like electrons) travel at less than the speed of light, and you need to put in energy to make them go faster, but it does not explain why there is a very weak gravitational attraction between particles with mass. (Though, presumably, a desire to figure out how quantum mechanics and general relativity fit together is one of the reasons why experimental data about thrthe Higgs is interesting).


Special relativity and General relativity are the same theory. Special relativity is merely a special case of general relativity (i.e. general relativity in the special case of no acceleration).

There isn't any different between inertial mass and gravitational mass in either theory.
 
2012-12-17 02:28:16 PM  
The headline I was expecting:

SECOND HIGGS BOSON DISCOVERED

THIS ONE'S PINK

/leaving disappointed
//better not be obscure on fark
 
2012-12-17 02:31:27 PM  

srhp29: And on Friday, the LHC will end the world while one lucky scientist will be sent back in time. It is he who gave the date to the Mayans before he passed from complications of time travel.


If only some modern day assassin would sacrifice their life to save the planet...
 
2012-12-17 02:53:40 PM  

maachubo: But I guess even engineer still isn't scientist.


If you ask a question and attempt to find the answer, you're a scientist.
 
2012-12-17 02:55:17 PM  
As long as they don't "pop" the false vacuum that we are all potentially living in I'm OK with this.
 
2012-12-17 03:11:10 PM  
Second detection.

Based on the way they're detecting them, that means there have been a hell of a lot more than 2 of them.
 
2012-12-17 03:18:28 PM  
There's so much drama in the LHC
 
2012-12-17 03:26:33 PM  

Kibbler: I just had a thought occur to me. Creating Higgs Boson particles is probably kind of like sending a warp-infinity telegram out to the geek who built the universe as a science project. He's been off doing other stuff but once we create these critters, he hears a "You've Got Mail!" ding, says, "Hmm" to himself, opens it up, and his eyes light up. "Joy!" Then he hits Forward:

"Dear Vogons,

Please proceed immediately to Earth."


You can make a reasonable decent argument that Revelations predicts that as soon as humans learn to manipulate mass and time at the particle level, we immediately try to verify the Book of Revelations and rip a warmhole into our own past, and destroy the Earth.
 
2012-12-17 03:27:52 PM  
So, there's two particles that are too close together in mass, making up the particle that decides exactly how massive all particles are. Including themselves, presumably. Got it
 
2012-12-17 03:32:05 PM  

Dr. Whoof: Time for "U Rage U Lose", Higgs Boson Edition.

[www.divinedominoes.com image 526x667] 

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x282]


Are those people retards?
 
2012-12-17 03:45:18 PM  
I'm not terribly concerned. If CERN does trigger the end of the world, Hououin Kyouma will send a text back in time to keep it from happening.

/obscure?
 
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