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(TMZ)   Honey Boo Boo's popularity has caused a surge in the sale of "Hillbilly Porn"   (tmz.com ) divider line
    More: Sick, hillbilly, storm surges  
•       •       •

20555 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 10:20 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



158 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2012-12-17 01:33:39 PM  
A dollar makes 'em holler, for sure.
 
2012-12-17 01:51:40 PM  

syberpud: freewill: DubyaHater: Why has an underage girl and her obese mother created a surge in "hillbilly porn"? I live this shiat everyday at work in SW Virginia and I am certainly not "in the mood" by nightfall.

FTA: "America's obsession with hillbillies"

I think they mean "hillbillies' obsession with hillbillies".

Nope, it's more like "urbanites obsession with freak shows". Like the Victorians who showcased medical oddities as "science lectures" it's people who consider themselves hip, urbane and cultured who like to look down on rural classes (hillbillies, rednecks, etc.). It's a socially acceptable freak show.


More like a sympton of an effete society. Some men might cope with their emasculation by fantasizing about women who, in all likelihood, would find them too effeminate to consider as a sexual partner. Others might strongly identify with a Ned Beatty character and, as in the case of bigots masturbating to inter-racial cuckold porn, attain sexual gratification by being shamed with their own inadequacy. If one is an actual hillbilly, it should be relatively easy to live out a Deliverance scenario, if one isn't, one will have to squeal like a pig at home, alone, with a dvd.
 
2012-12-17 02:06:17 PM  

ParadisePornoTheater: Lemme tell ya story 'bout a man named Jed
Took Elly May and threw her on the bed
[don't remember third line]
Up through the ground came a bubblin' sperm ...

Fifth grade good times ...


Ours was
Let me tell a little story bout a man named Jed
Had a lot of hair but it wasn't on his head
Then one day he was shootin at some food
And out from the woods came a red-headed nude.

...i think that was all.. couldn't stop laughing after that. And singing it over and over...
 
2012-12-17 02:27:17 PM  
Awesome. After coming home from a hard day at work, the only porn I want to watch is people just like my patients getting it on. Then I can watch it and think "so that's what Mr. Cletus would look like if he was farking his lady from behind."

No, thanks. I'd rather make my own redneck porn, ya'll.
 
2012-12-17 02:33:00 PM  

Parthenogenetic: Kit Fister: what the fark is hillbilly porn?

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x300]

[media.kickstatic.com image 720x480]

/btw, it's Tex Avery's "Little Rural Riding Hood"


Awesome.
 
2012-12-17 02:36:35 PM  

GibbyTheMole: Belongs on the soundtrack of any hillbilly porn film.


HAH!

I just saw them play on Saturday in Carrboro! They were awesome, as always.

They didn't play that one but this one is specifically about hillbilly porn.
 
2012-12-17 02:37:51 PM  
Im sure with this the fantasy and the reality would have a head on collision and have no survivors.
 
2012-12-17 02:38:52 PM  

treecologist: GibbyTheMole: Belongs on the soundtrack of any hillbilly porn film.

HAH!

I just saw them play on Saturday in Carrboro! They were awesome, as always.

They didn't play that one but this one is specifically about hillbilly porn.


Oh, and I own the hat Rick Miller is wearing in this video - got it at a SCOTS Christmas show several years ago when they were throwing out stuff they didn't want any more.
 
2012-12-17 02:41:55 PM  
Wow, no canned corn porn?
 
2012-12-17 03:15:22 PM  
Well I suppose so if you like meth sores.
 
2012-12-17 03:36:49 PM  
12 Folks at 12 Oaks?

i.imgur.com

/porn flakes!
//pour on the milk and they say, "snatch nipple crotch"
 
2012-12-17 03:48:51 PM  
I am presuming that Hillbilly porn would involve:

Group A
- Large rural boys
- Large breasted daughters/wives/grandmothers
- Cousins
- Random relatives
- Revenuers

Group B
- Moonshine
- pickup trucks
- Shotguns
- Farm animals
- Overalls
- Confederate flag (stars and bars)
- Poverty
- ponds
- woods
- barns

Mix in 1 or more of these elements from group A and 3 or more elements from Group B and there you go
 
2012-12-17 03:57:00 PM  

treecologist: GibbyTheMole: Belongs on the soundtrack of any hillbilly porn film.

HAH!

I just saw them play on Saturday in Carrboro! They were awesome, as always.

They didn't play that one but this one is specifically about hillbilly porn.


Anyone got a hillbilly snack cracker fetish? 

/Little Debbie, Little Debbie!
 
2012-12-17 03:57:57 PM  

yanoosh: I can remember Ellie May Clampet, fapped to her many a night thinking of her in those tight jeans. If all hillbilly gals looked liked her I could become a convert


IIRC, they remade that movie in the 90s with the "two chicks at the same time" guy from Office Space playing the son and Erika Eleniak as Ellie Mae. Erika Eleniak was also the topless chick who popped out of the cake in Under Siege, and I think she was in Playboy at least once.

/in Under Siege with Tommy Lee Jones
//who was in Lonesome Dove with Robert Duvall
///who was in Days of Thunder with Tom Cruise
////who was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon
 
2012-12-17 04:00:57 PM  
img211.imageshack.us

i'm the hated milk machine
no one likes me now
i was doing what i'm told
he was trying to be bold
why can't people keep their willies out of holes
 
2012-12-17 04:10:21 PM  

Snapper Carr: [img211.imageshack.us image 400x300]

i'm the hated milk machine
no one likes me now
i was doing what i'm told
he was trying to be bold
why can't people keep their willies out of holes


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-17 04:11:23 PM  

Snapper Carr: [img211.imageshack.us image 400x300]

i'm the hated milk machine
no one likes me now
i was doing what i'm told
he was trying to be bold
why can't people keep their willies out of holes


jam?

splitsider.com
 
2012-12-17 04:12:01 PM  

Gunny Highway: Snapper Carr: [img211.imageshack.us image 400x300]

i'm the hated milk machine
no one likes me now
i was doing what i'm told
he was trying to be bold
why can't people keep their willies out of holes

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x500]


Damn, I was looking for that picture for several minutes - finally decided to go with the one above.
 
2012-12-17 04:22:08 PM  
Rule 34.. No exceptions.. NO EXCEPTIONS.
 
2012-12-17 04:28:52 PM  

Snapper Carr: Gunny Highway: Snapper Carr: [img211.imageshack.us image 400x300]

i'm the hated milk machine
no one likes me now
i was doing what i'm told
he was trying to be bold
why can't people keep their willies out of holes

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x500]

Damn, I was looking for that picture for several minutes - finally decided to go with the one above.


It took me a few minutes. I was cracking up the whole time.
 
2012-12-17 04:43:55 PM  
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2012-12-17 04:52:00 PM  
GIS Black Snake Moan with Christina Ricci. Yums!
 
2012-12-17 04:52:38 PM  

the801: really, no one?

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x333]

NSFW!


There is no effing way in hell I'm clicking that link.
 
2012-12-17 05:05:09 PM  

Kit Fister: what the fark is hillbilly porn?


fox news, any religious programming, David Dukes does Dallas, the Republican Party...

it goes on..pretty much everything made in america is hillbilly porn...

america = hillbilly
 
2012-12-17 05:10:33 PM  
Honey BooBoo? What is this, I don't even...

/debating on whether GIS is worth it.
 
2012-12-17 05:37:11 PM  

freewill: ReapTheChaos: The girls on the cover don't look like any redneck I've ever seen.

There are actually a surprising number of, er, "country girls" who look like that. Unfortunately, they're mainly attracted to joblessness and a criminal record.

/ Not so much "bad boys" as straight-up "losers".
// Have been trying to rescue one in the g/f's family for years. Still can't get her to stop dating fast food cooks.


Get her a deep fryer.
 
2012-12-17 05:43:46 PM  

MagSeven: [cdn.uproxx.com image 625x417]


oh jeebus
/stifles frightened whimper
 
2012-12-17 05:44:56 PM  
At least it isn't clown porn.
 
2012-12-17 05:45:41 PM  

MagSeven: [cdn.uproxx.com image 625x417]


Well there goes that part of my childhood.
 
2012-12-17 05:46:09 PM  

images.sodahead.com

 
2012-12-17 06:02:22 PM  
I'm not sure which disturbs me more....
 
2012-12-17 06:29:53 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: I'm not sure which disturbs me more....


That's what happens when you aren't really disturbed. But you are here, so there's that.
 
2012-12-17 06:30:45 PM  
Sooo...that's a thing.
 
2012-12-17 08:12:40 PM  
farm1.staticflickr.com

Old and faded but still appropriate. 

/hot like a slip-n-slide in the double-wide
 
2012-12-17 08:20:33 PM  

Kit Fister: what the fark is hillbilly porn?


LOL, my new word of the day.
Damnnn.
 
2012-12-17 08:26:35 PM  

Enormous-Schwanstucker: [farm1.staticflickr.com image 500x356]

Old and faded but still appropriate. 

/hot like a slip-n-slide in the double-wide


That stuff it just petroleum jelly and says "For Novelty Purposes Only" in large letters on the back.

/knows stuff
 
2012-12-17 08:47:41 PM  
Hillbilly child porn?
 
2012-12-17 09:29:20 PM  

MagSeven: [cdn.uproxx.com image 625x417]


One lobotomy, please
 
2012-12-17 10:42:02 PM  
Commenting before reading the thread, but I shall be very disappointed indeed if Jaime Pressly isn't present and pictured in all her Joy Hickey glory...
 
2012-12-17 11:26:25 PM  

freewill: ReapTheChaos: The girls on the cover don't look like any redneck I've ever seen.

There are actually a surprising number of, er, "country girls" who look like that. Unfortunately, they're mainly attracted to joblessness and a criminal record.

/ Not so much "bad boys" as straight-up "losers".
// Have been trying to rescue one in the g/f's family for years. Still can't get her to stop dating fast food cooks.


As a liberal arts major, this is relevant to my interests. Give her my number, I am so destined to ask if you want fries with that.
 
2012-12-18 12:17:25 AM  

Enormous-Schwanstucker: /hot like a slip-n-slide in the double-wide


+1
 
2012-12-18 12:19:28 AM  

PunGent: Kit Fister: what the fark is hillbilly porn?

I'm guessing Daisy Dukes, and fewer than the average number of teeth.


Gum it baby, gum it!
 
2012-12-18 12:57:53 AM  
Oblig:

Link

Link
 
2012-12-18 01:02:18 AM  
... the f*** is a Honey Boo Boo?
 
2012-12-18 02:27:57 AM  
Might want to look into updating the W.VA scat porn, coiler creator threesome (girlspooping.com) flushed by the USPS and Ashcroft in `03 Think the IRS finally shoveled out the excess. However, Honey poo poo is sure to attract paying customers (fetishists must be the only group that continues to generate income for the porn industry).

Never have seen this dreck or tiaraed tots, undulating urchins, little miss biatchin or runway rug rat.

/in some dark `holler' marketeers are beating their quants so as to reveal the next demographic to exploit so's to sell more `soap'
//perils of Pauline, indeed
 
2012-12-18 08:59:09 AM  
treecologist

"I just saw them play on Saturday in Carrboro! They were awesome, as always. Oh, and I own the hat Rick Miller is wearing in this video - got it at a SCOTS Christmas show several years ago when they were throwing out stuff they didn't want any more."

Ya lucky bastid... I digs me some SCOTS. (And Mary Huff is kind of strangely hot in a Peggy Bundy sort of way.)

Cheers to ya and yers.
 
2012-12-18 10:02:28 AM  

metal_gear: ... the f*** is a Honey Boo Boo?


You don't get out much, do you?
 
2012-12-18 11:34:36 AM  

MagSeven: [cdn.uproxx.com image 625x417]


WHY

 
2012-12-18 11:43:48 AM  

www.danoah.com

Hey y'alll, what's going on in this...

 
2012-12-18 07:04:46 PM  

Otto_E_Rodika: Y'all cum back now, you hear.


Real southern girls dont say cum, they say shoot off. As in "Don't shoot off in me."
 
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