If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Chronicle Herald)   Two men found murdered in woods were: A) involved in a drug deal gone bad, B) making moonshine, or C) out looking for Christmas trees   (thechronicleherald.ca) divider line 57
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

8027 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 10:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-12-17 09:14:21 AM
To hell with pot. Douglas Fir is the real money crop.
 
2012-12-17 10:07:01 AM
Someone was standing their ground against tree poachers
 
2012-12-17 10:17:00 AM
This is why I always go to reputable dealers, people that know people I know, when looking for evergreen.
 
2012-12-17 10:18:25 AM

Jackson Herring: Someone was standing their ground against tree poachers


From my reading, one of them owned the land. So they may have stumbled on some tree poachers, or someone else trying to use the land for less legal crops.
 
2012-12-17 10:18:37 AM
I love my dead gay son.
 
2012-12-17 10:19:37 AM
Sounds like the bad end to A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas
 
2012-12-17 10:20:01 AM

Jackson Herring: Someone was standing their ground against tree poachers


I bet they used an AR-15 too, never has there been a more dangerous thing to mankind than the AR-15.
 
2012-12-17 10:20:12 AM
Somewhere in a lonely woods there's two guys realizing that eternal fate has turned it's back on them.
 
2012-12-17 10:22:14 AM
I say it is A.) involved in a drug deal gone bad.
 
2012-12-17 10:22:29 AM
Fake trees for the win
 
2012-12-17 10:22:37 AM

probesport: Somewhere in a lonely woods there's two guys realizing that eternal fate has turned it's back on them.


Turned it is back on them?
 
2012-12-17 10:22:37 AM
Probably killed by a lumberjack in a poutine rage. Or whatever canadians do.

Canada sucks.
 
2012-12-17 10:22:48 AM
I am the Lorax and I kill for the trees!
 
2012-12-17 10:23:09 AM

Diogenes


Douglas Fir is the real money crop.


That guy's a jerk. Very prickly, always needling people.
 
2012-12-17 10:23:26 AM
Christmas trees are prone to fiery explosions - and men love fire.
Are they sure this wasn't a case of do-it-yourself Darwinism?
 
2012-12-17 10:25:40 AM
Obviously some third party was there and things didn't go well. Fire was used in an attempt to cover the crime. So what did these two guys find in the woods? I doubt it was a meth lab or moonshine still. THe cops would find evidence of that pretty quickly. I'd guess poacher or redneck psychopath.
 
2012-12-17 10:25:57 AM
There's nothing like heading out into the forest to find and cut down that absolutely perfect Christmas tree!
img507.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-17 10:26:05 AM
I read this 6 times, still can't understand it:

A passerby called 911 at 2:19p.m. Wednesday about at fire a camp off Highway 374.
 
2012-12-17 10:27:23 AM
The War on Christmas keeps getting realer.
 
2012-12-17 10:28:10 AM

Walker: I read this 6 times, still can't understand it:

A passerby called 911 at 2:19p.m. Wednesday about at fire a camp off Highway 374.


It has to code be something for at.
 
2012-12-17 10:29:34 AM
Once two strangers climbed ol' Rocky Top
Lookin' for a moonshine still
Two strangers ain't come down off Rocky Top,
Reckon they never will.
 
2012-12-17 10:29:40 AM

Walker: I read this 6 times, still can't understand it:

A passerby called 911 at 2:19p.m. Wednesday about at fire a camp off Highway 374.


Fire a Camp is the Chief of a local tribe and lives on a reservation off highway 374.
 
2012-12-17 10:30:07 AM

Walker


I read this 6 times, still can't understand it:

A passerby called 911 at 2:19p.m. Wednesday about at fire a camp off Highway 374.


Person A at a campsite near Highway 374 made a fire (as people do at campsites).

Person B was passing by, saw the fire, and called 911 (presumably while thinking the fire was unintentional).

Person B called 911 to report the fire.


Short version: the period after "p.m." should not be there, but more importantly does not herald the end of a sentence.
 
2012-12-17 10:31:21 AM

LarryDan43: Walker: I read this 6 times, still can't understand it:

A passerby called 911 at 2:19p.m. Wednesday about at fire a camp off Highway 374.

Fire a Camp is the Chief of a local tribe and lives on a reservation off highway 374.


That's crazy talk.
 
2012-12-17 10:31:38 AM
read read read

so essentially- they've got two dead guys.

the rest is up in the air

great police and reportage work

sheesh
 
2012-12-17 10:34:00 AM
the owls are not what they seem
 
2012-12-17 10:34:18 AM

95BV5: probesport: Somewhere in a lonely woods there's two guys realizing that eternal fate has turned it's back on them.

Turned it is back on them?


Yes.
 
2012-12-17 10:34:37 AM
Hmm...trespassing maybe???

/drtfa
 
2012-12-17 10:36:17 AM
Police report that these two "persons of interest" were seen in the vicinity earlier in the day.

prairiefirenews.com
 
2012-12-17 10:37:31 AM
This could have happened to my brother and his friend in the north GA mountains. My mother had sent them out to get a tree and our family tradition was, back in the late 1960's/early 1970's, to find some vast, undeveloped stretch of piney woods (usually state park land or the like but the boundaries are not always clear), hike deep into said woods, find a nice red cedar, cut it down, tie to to the top of mom's station wagon, and tote it home.

It was never a problem until that one December -- I was maybe 8 years old at the most, my brother and his friend were just shy of 20 years old. We'd found a tree and were loading it up on the car when two men drove up in a rusty old pick-up truck, with the driver emerging from it with a shotgun.

My brother shooed me into the car and told me to crouch down in the back and stay quiet and still. I couldn't hear the exact words being exchanged outside, but I could tell the men were accusatory and my brother and his friend were sounding very defensive and nervous.

I couldn't stand it. I hopped out of the car and said to my brother, in my most innocent Cindy-Loo-Who voice, "What's wrong, Pete? What's going on?"

He shooed me back into the car saying everything was fine and we'd be leaving shortly.

I can't be sure, but I think my presence brought a little humanity back to these fellows in the pick-up truck because they told my brother they'd let us go if he gave the tree back and gave them our car's spare tire (I know... it sounds odd, but they were N. Georgia rednecks so ... maybe that was worth something to them?)...and, of course, we had to promise we'd never be back.

There are so many awful ways that scenario could have played out -- I suspect we're all grateful that it didn't end any worse than it did.

Needless to say, from then on, we bought our Christmas tree at the local farmer's market.
 
2012-12-17 10:38:14 AM
that's some crazy Sheet right there.
 
2012-12-17 10:38:42 AM
*Looks to see if they were found in central Wisconsin*

Okay looks like they weren't trespassing on my friend's farm.
 
2012-12-17 10:40:28 AM
Person B - Suspect
 
2012-12-17 10:44:42 AM
Well, they were from Spryfield, so A has some possibilties.
 
2012-12-17 10:46:02 AM

fyrewede: This could have happened to my brother and his friend in the north GA mountains. My mother had sent them out to get a tree and our family tradition was, back in the late 1960's/early 1970's, to find some vast, undeveloped stretch of piney woods (usually state park land or the like but the boundaries are not always clear), hike deep into said woods, find a nice red cedar, cut it down, tie to to the top of mom's station wagon, and tote it home.

It was never a problem until that one December -- I was maybe 8 years old at the most, my brother and his friend were just shy of 20 years old. We'd found a tree and were loading it up on the car when two men drove up in a rusty old pick-up truck, with the driver emerging from it with a shotgun.
.


One of my old neighbors told me a story about the time he went deer hunting in Maine back in the 70s. He and a friend were gutting a deer they had just shot when a couple of local good ol' boys surprised them. The red-necks pointed shotguns at them, and accused of them of trespassing on their property. The rustic gentlemen took their ammo and made them drag the deer out to a road where the hillbillies loaded the deer into a pickup and left them standing at the side of the road with their now empty rifles.
 
2012-12-17 11:12:38 AM
D) named Phelps
 
2012-12-17 11:17:14 AM
The Ent's were just protecting their family.
 
2012-12-17 11:30:49 AM
i48.tinypic.com

"OK, try to imagine yourself in the Christmas Season. You get your first look at this "six foot house-plant" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a birch, lightly, swaying in the breeze. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like a Menorah - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Christmas Tree. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side - by two Douglas Firs you didn't even know were there."
 
2012-12-17 11:33:06 AM

bacongood: Jackson Herring: Someone was standing their ground against tree poachers

From my reading, one of them owned the land. So they may have stumbled on some tree poachers, or someone else trying to use the land for less legal crops.


not at this time of year. Unless they were indoors.
 
GCD
2012-12-17 11:37:23 AM
I'm calling bullshiat here. I don't buy it.

Sheet Harbour, Nova Scotia - where this guys were found "looking for "Christmas trees" is well over 100km away from Spryfield, Nova Scotia, where the article says they are from.

I live in Nova Scotia and unless these guys were looking to stock an entire tree lot of Christmas trees, there are many, many areas much closer than Sheet Harbour where one could find a couple of Christmas trees to cut down.

Spryfield happens to be a fairly notorious part of Halifax. There are two families (Melvin and Marriott) that have been feuding over drugs and "turf" for years and years and years now.

I'm willing to bet that there's just a little more to the story here.
 
2012-12-17 11:46:48 AM

GCD:

Spryfield happens to be a fairly notorious part of Halifax. There are two families (Melvin and Marriott) that have been feuding over drugs and "turf" for years and years and years now.

I'm willing to bet that there's just a little more to the story here.


Well this was all supposed to be resolved by now. Jessica Melvin was supposed to bring forth a daughter to her husband, Leto Melvin. That girl was planned to eventually marry one of Vladimir Marriott's two sons, uniting the families and ensuring the drugs would flow uninterrupted. Unfortunately Jessica brought forth a son, and a new generation of rivalry and violence along with it.
 
2012-12-17 11:54:39 AM
We must immediately give up our right to Christmas tress -- Barack Obama
 
2012-12-17 11:54:59 AM
We're at war here people, there's bound to be some casualties.
 
2012-12-17 12:15:43 PM

HenryFnord: GCD:

Spryfield happens to be a fairly notorious part of Halifax. There are two families (Melvin and Marriott) that have been feuding over drugs and "turf" for years and years and years now.

I'm willing to bet that there's just a little more to the story here.

Well this was all supposed to be resolved by now. Jessica Melvin was supposed to bring forth a daughter to her husband, Leto Melvin. That girl was planned to eventually marry one of Vladimir Marriott's two sons, uniting the families and ensuring the drugs would flow uninterrupted. Unfortunately Jessica brought forth a son, and a new generation of rivalry and violence along with it.


He's that there Kwisatz Haderach, eh.
 
2012-12-17 12:29:47 PM
Only on FARK would we get references to Frank Herbert's Dune woven into a comment thread about two Canadian guys who got shot while (ostensibly) out looking for a Christmas tree in the woods.

Despite the snark, the shameless trolling, and the occasional attention-whoring behavior on the part of some of my fellow Farkers, it's the literate wit and humor that keep me coming back here, day after day, year after year..
 
2012-12-17 12:46:35 PM

Rufus Lee King: fyrewede: Despite the snark, the shameless trolling, and the occasional attention-whoring behavior on the part of some of my fellow Farkers, it's the literate wit and humor that keep me coming back here, day after day, year after year..

"There is only one thing in the world worse than literary wit, and that is playing it by yourself."

[i2.listal.com image 458x606]


This thread is like a dose of the clap. Before it arrived was pleasure, and after a pain in the dong.
 
2012-12-17 12:48:01 PM
Just because it was C does not rule out A and B.
 
2012-12-17 12:55:46 PM
Having gone the "real tree" route this Christmas, I kinda wish someone would have shot me while I was out looking.

/damn thing not taking up any water.
//waiting for the fireball.
 
2012-12-17 01:04:14 PM

Nuclear Monk


Having gone the "real tree" route this Christmas, I kinda wish someone would have shot me while I was out looking.

/damn thing not taking up any water.
//waiting for the fireball.


Did you cut an inch or so off the bottom of the trunk before putting the tree in the stand?

If not, you might be able to drill some small holes in the trunk below the waterline. It might help or it might not, but it probably won't make things any worse.
 
2012-12-17 01:08:47 PM

Nuclear Monk: Having gone the "real tree" route this Christmas, I kinda wish someone would have shot me while I was out looking.

/damn thing not taking up any water.
//waiting for the fireball.


Cut it on a bit of an angle to give more surface area. Or get out a comically large pencil sharpener and give it a bit of a point.
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report