If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orange News)   Peanut butter? Sure thing. Smooth, crunchy or...... weaponised?   (web.orange.co.uk) divider line 57
    More: Stupid, Scoville scale  
•       •       •

6159 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 11:16 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



57 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-12-17 09:13:44 AM
I ordered this the other day and it should be here by 12/18...can't wait.
 
2012-12-17 09:27:23 AM
Obama is coming after your hot sauce!

The Second Amendment should be changed, so that the word "arms" is replaced with "spicy foods and hot sauce": To wit:

A well regulated pantry being necessary to the security of a basement dweller, the right of the people to keep and eat spicy foods shall not be infringed.

That way the nuts could build up arsenals of hot sauce in their basements and trade them at cooking shows without a background check and little or no harm would be done.

Problem solved.
 
2012-12-17 09:48:08 AM

thismomentinblackhistory: I ordered this the other day and it should be here by 12/18...can't wait.


I'm in Texas and I can't wait to hear you screaming all the way from Ohio.
 
2012-12-17 10:24:09 AM
Smooth peanut butter is an abomination.
 
2012-12-17 11:18:03 AM
Crunchy
 
2012-12-17 11:18:30 AM
Any single ladies with small dogs willing to give this a shot?
 
2012-12-17 11:19:01 AM

Sybarite: Smooth peanut butter is an abomination.


Wrong. Chunky PB sucks. I don't want to have to crunch into my spread.
 
2012-12-17 11:20:57 AM
That is idiocy. It doesn't have to be so hot, that you won't taste anything else for the rest of the week.

I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.
 
2012-12-17 11:23:38 AM

notmtwain: Obama is coming after your hot sauce!

The Second Amendment should be changed, so that the word "arms" is replaced with "spicy foods and hot sauce": To wit:

A well regulated pantry being necessary to the security of a basement dweller, the right of the people to keep and eat spicy foods shall not be infringed.

That way the nuts could build up arsenals of hot sauce in their basements and trade them at cooking shows without a background check and little or no harm would be done.

Problem solved.


You'd end up with a bunch of do-gooders arguing that the first clause implied that you could only have spicy food if you had a pantry. Then all my food would be bland because I only have a cabinet.
 
2012-12-17 11:27:10 AM

BarleyGnome:
I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.


because it's cheaper than driving to the red light district to get pegged...?
 
2012-12-17 11:28:30 AM

SkylineRecords: Sybarite: Smooth peanut butter is an abomination.

Wrong. Chunky PB sucks. I don't want to have to crunch into my spread.


Bah, you probably like pulp-less OJ, too.
God forbid your food isn't perfectly uniform and devoid of signs that it came from a plant instead of a vat.
 
2012-12-17 11:28:47 AM
I had a tiny little bit of this shiat once. Just dipped the corner of a tortilla chip into it and ate it. It was a farking harrowing experience. I could literally feel it moving through my body. Spent the next 4-5 hours on the toilet. I did not, to be clear, know what it was before I ate it (other than hot sauce, on the pretty hot end of the scale). I was expecting something like a Dave's Insanity Sauce.
 
2012-12-17 11:29:22 AM

BarleyGnome: That is idiocy. It doesn't have to be so hot, that you won't taste anything else for the rest of the week.

I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.


It's no longer a food - it's a food additive.
 
2012-12-17 11:32:38 AM
I don't understand products like this.
I like spicy food, but not everything needs to be spicy, and nothing needs to be this spicy. Especially peanut butter. I mean, wtf? There's nothing I put PB on that I also want to be spicy, and if there ever was, it's very easy to just add some kind of hot sauce or mix in some chile powder.
 
2012-12-17 11:34:18 AM
Great, just what I wanted as a kid, my lunch to spontaneously combust
 
2012-12-17 11:37:55 AM
On the Scoville scale, which measures the heat of chilli peppers, the peanut butter boasts a whopping rating of 12,000,000.
Bullshiat. Pure, crystalline capsaicin is defined as 16 million Scovilles; this "peanut butter" would have to be 75% capsaicin.

That said, I'd probably eat it. I have three 1-gallon bags in the freezer full of ghost chilies that I'm going to render into hot sauce.
 
2012-12-17 11:40:37 AM
I'm not sure I believe that this stuff is actually 12,000,000 scoville units.
Pure crystallized capsaicin is rated at 16,000,000. This shiat really is weaponized peanut butter. Getting this on your skin or especially anywhere near a mucous membrane would be absurdly painful, like emptying a can of bear spray into your nostrils.
 
2012-12-17 11:40:49 AM

Gawdzila: I don't understand products like this.
I like spicy food, but not everything needs to be spicy, and nothing needs to be this spicy. Especially peanut butter. I mean, wtf? There's nothing I put PB on that I also want to be spicy, and if there ever was, it's very easy to just add some kind of hot sauce or mix in some chile powder.


There's two groups of people who eat stuff like this.

Group one are people who don't actually enjoy it, they simply do it for bragging rights and a cheap thrill.

Group two are people from group one who've been doing it so long, they can no longer enjoy normal food because they've destroyed their taste buds and can no longer taste anything else.
 
2012-12-17 11:47:51 AM

Gawdzila: I don't understand products like this.
I like spicy food, but not everything needs to be spicy, and nothing needs to be this spicy. Especially peanut butter. I mean, wtf? There's nothing I put PB on that I also want to be spicy, and if there ever was, it's very easy to just add some kind of hot sauce or mix in some chile powder.


Lots of Thai food uses a spicy peanut sauce that can be (mostly) replicated using peanut butter as the main ingredient. I have also had an awesome spicy peanut butter cup. But, you are correct in that there is no reason for anything to be this spicy. Cut it down 90% and it would be fine though.
 
2012-12-17 11:47:58 AM

BarleyGnome: That is idiocy. It doesn't have to be so hot, that you won't taste anything else for the rest of the week.

I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.


i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-17 11:48:04 AM

ReapTheChaos: Group two are people from group one who've been doing it so long, they can no longer enjoy normal food because they've destroyed their taste buds and can no longer taste anything else.


Taste does not work that way. Capsaicin antagonizes one cell surface receptor, TRPV1. More capsaicin you eat, the lower expression of TRPV1 you have thus you build up a tolerance to the molecule. (Some rare individuals have mutant TRPV1 alleles that render them nonsusceptible to capsaicin.)
 
2012-12-17 11:53:24 AM

Gawdzila: SkylineRecords: Sybarite: Smooth peanut butter is an abomination.

Wrong. Chunky PB sucks. I don't want to have to crunch into my spread.

Bah, you probably like pulp-less OJ, too.
God forbid your food isn't perfectly uniform and devoid of signs that it came from a plant instead of a vat.


There's not a whole lot organic with peanut butter any way. Personally I don't like the large crunchy things in my otherwise smooth sandwich.
 
2012-12-17 12:02:37 PM
I love hot & spicy foods. Over the years, I've built up a sort of "resistance" to the effects of chili peppers, habanero peppers & the hot Chinese peppers you can get in your takeout food from there. Even when I go to a Mexican restaurant, I ask if they will bring me a bowl of Habanero sauce to replace the salsa they give with the chips. They ALWAYS look at me funny, but bring it anyways.

But peanut butter with 12 million Scoville units?? Holy FARK, that's hot!! Pepper spray is rated at 2 million Scoville units, while police grade pepper spray is rated at 5.2 million Scoville units.

I can imagine taking a bite of this so-called peanut butter with the heat equivalent of 12 farking MILLION Scoville units. This is the picture I have in my mind... 

img.gawkerassets.com

/to me...not worth it! I'd like to keep my head right where it is now!
 
2012-12-17 12:03:18 PM
I am in the habit of putting CaJohn's Vicious Viper (2MM scoville) sauce on pizza. So this weekend I poisoned a couple of slices with a hearty film of Viper, and had a couple slices without. No matter how used to the heat my mouth gets, there's pretty much nothing that prepares one for the "intestinal distress" the next day. Multiply times peanut butter? Well, maybe just a taste :-)
 
2012-12-17 12:05:27 PM

Gawdzila: SkylineRecords: Sybarite: Smooth peanut butter is an abomination.

Wrong. Chunky PB sucks. I don't want to have to crunch into my spread.

Bah, you probably like pulp-less OJ, too.
God forbid your food isn't perfectly uniform and devoid of signs that it came from a plant instead of a vat.


Actually, I like a lot of pulp in my OJ. I just don't get crunchy peanut butter.
 
2012-12-17 12:11:39 PM
Dr. Bamba is unavailable for comment (He's busy with Pumpkins).
 
2012-12-17 12:12:40 PM
FTA comments - What the heck is a Hedgehog flavored chip?
 
2012-12-17 12:16:19 PM

Gawdzila: I don't understand products like this.
I like spicy food, but not everything needs to be spicy, and nothing needs to be this spicy. Especially peanut butter. I mean, wtf? There's nothing I put PB on that I also want to be spicy, and if there ever was, it's very easy to just add some kind of hot sauce or mix in some chile powder.


While this is definitely way over the line, I do enjoy peanut butter stuffed jalapenos, so I guess I see where the basic idea comes from.
 
2012-12-17 12:19:55 PM
After watching a Better Off Ted marathon this weekend, the headline made me giggle openly.
 
2012-12-17 12:20:39 PM

Dazrin: Gawdzila: I don't understand products like this.
I like spicy food, but not everything needs to be spicy, and nothing needs to be this spicy. Especially peanut butter. I mean, wtf? There's nothing I put PB on that I also want to be spicy, and if there ever was, it's very easy to just add some kind of hot sauce or mix in some chile powder.

Lots of Thai food uses a spicy peanut sauce that can be (mostly) replicated using peanut butter as the main ingredient. I have also had an awesome spicy peanut butter cup. But, you are correct in that there is no reason for anything to be this spicy. Cut it down 90% and it would be fine though.


Yeah, when I read the article, I was considering ordering some for cooking. My husband and I like spicy food and love Thai food so I had a bunch of ideas...however I don't think we could use anything that spicy. It sounds unpleasant to say the least.
 
2012-12-17 12:27:58 PM

notmtwain: Obama is coming after your hot sauce!

The Second Amendment should be changed, so that the word "arms" is replaced with "spicy foods and hot sauce": To wit:

A well regulated pantry being necessary to the security of a basement dweller, the right of the people to keep and eat spicy foods shall not be infringed.

That way the nuts could build up arsenals of hot sauce in their basements and trade them at cooking shows without a background check and little or no harm would be done.

Problem solved.


Are you referring to the gun control nuts?
 
2012-12-17 12:32:18 PM

Sybarite: Smooth peanut butter is an abomination.


THIS.And it's the ONLY kind you can get in the 2nd Harvest food boxes. And I managed to score an 80 oz jar of Government peanut butter just once, and it was smooth, too. Why do St. Vincent De Paul and the US Government hate the homeless?
 
2012-12-17 12:35:28 PM

BarleyGnome: That is idiocy. It doesn't have to be so hot, that you won't taste anything else for the rest of the week.

I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.


That's hot. And "Burning Sphincter" would be an excellent name for a band.
 
rpm
2012-12-17 12:35:51 PM

BarleyGnome: .I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.


It doesn't matter how hot the food is, I've NEVER gotten ring of fire.
 
2012-12-17 12:41:18 PM
This guy also weaponized peanut butter:

cdn.amctheatres.com


pic is hotlinked
 
2012-12-17 12:42:42 PM

China White Tea: I had a tiny little bit of this shiat once. Just dipped the corner of a tortilla chip into it and ate it. It was a farking harrowing experience. I could literally feel it moving through my body. Spent the next 4-5 hours on the toilet. I did not, to be clear, know what it was before I ate it (other than hot sauce, on the pretty hot end of the scale). I was expecting something like a Dave's Insanity Sauce.


There was (maybe still is) a place in Culver City called Tito's Tacos. They had/have a hot sauce bar with a picture of a mushroom cloud over the jar on the end. One of my friends tried it and to this day (40+ years later) has a discolored burn mark on his lip where some splashed. And, yes, he spend several hours in the can.
 
2012-12-17 12:51:27 PM
I am really, really tempted to get this. Like a few Farkers, I enjoy wasabi and habaneros right out of the jar as a snack while watching movies at home. I can't imagine how the unit measurement on this one is accurate, but I love the possible challenge.
 
2012-12-17 01:03:58 PM

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: Sybarite: Smooth peanut butter is an abomination.

THIS.And it's the ONLY kind you can get in the 2nd Harvest food boxes. And I managed to score an 80 oz jar of Government peanut butter just once, and it was smooth, too. Why do St. Vincent De Paul and the US Government hate the homeless?


It's not hate, it's tough love. You want the crunchy, you're going to have to work for it. Until then, you can survive on the smooth.
 
2012-12-17 01:09:22 PM

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: One of my friends tried it and to this day (40+ years later) has a discolored burn mark on his lip where some splashed


Spicy food doesn't work that way, either he had a reaction to something in the sauce or you are making this up.
 
2012-12-17 01:10:32 PM
I could see using it in Thai food or stirring a tablespoon into your chili to bump the heat but that's it. Too hot for 'normal' use.
 
2012-12-17 01:33:12 PM
Sounds like it would be great for baiting a mouse trap. Even if the mouse got away it would never come back.
 
2012-12-17 01:56:48 PM

Egoy3k: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: One of my friends tried it and to this day (40+ years later) has a discolored burn mark on his lip where some splashed

Spicy food doesn't work that way, either he had a reaction to something in the sauce or you are making this up.


God's honest truth. It must have been an allergic reaction, then, as it did happen. My friend was a fair complexioned red hair Jew, so he wasn't used to hot stuff.

Any Farker's in the Culver City area who could check out the place if iot is still there? Was on Washington Blvd, I think, near Sepulveda. Hold on, let me google...

Yep, still there!

WARNING, AUTOPLAY AUDIO!

Google data Link

Address: 11222 Washington Place, Culver City, CA 90230
P.hone:(310) 391-5780
Hours: Monday hours 10:00 am-10:30 pm - See all
Transit: Sepulveda Blvd / Washington Pl.

Just talked to the manager. Yes, they still have the jars of salsa. No, there was never a pic of an exploding A-Bomb, so I guess my fertile imagination supplied that. Yes, the green jalapeno sauce is, in her words, "pretty hot. If your not used to hot sauce you might find it a bit uncomfortable."
 
2012-12-17 01:57:45 PM

jimw: Sounds like it would be great for baiting a mouse trap. Even if the mouse got away it would never come back.


Sounds like it would be even better for catching a lunch thief at work. Where's your lunch? Just follow the screams.
 
2012-12-17 02:20:51 PM

gopher321: BarleyGnome: That is idiocy. It doesn't have to be so hot, that you won't taste anything else for the rest of the week.

I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.

It's no longer a food - it's a food additive.


Yeah, if you moved beyond putting chilies in your recipe to just dumping chemicals in it - you're doing it wrong.
 
2012-12-17 02:27:53 PM

jimw: Sounds like it would be great for baiting a mouse trap. Even if the mouse got away it would never come back.


I think any animal with a sense of smell would just avoid it all together. My dog is an absolute pig, but he won't eat anything spicy.
 
Oak
2012-12-17 02:57:10 PM

Just Another OC Homeless Guy: Egoy3k: Just Another OC Homeless Guy: One of my friends tried it and to this day (40+ years later) has a discolored burn mark on his lip where some splashed

Spicy food doesn't work that way, either he had a reaction to something in the sauce or you are making this up.

God's honest truth. It must have been an allergic reaction, then, as it did happen. My friend was a fair complexioned red hair Jew, so he wasn't used to hot stuff.

Any Farker's in the Culver City area who could check out the place if iot is still there? Was on Washington Blvd, I think, near Sepulveda. Hold on, let me google...

Yep, still there!

WARNING, AUTOPLAY AUDIO!

Google data Link

Address: 11222 Washington Place, Culver City, CA 90230
P.hone:(310) 391-5780
Hours: Monday hours 10:00 am-10:30 pm - See all
Transit: Sepulveda Blvd / Washington Pl.

Just talked to the manager. Yes, they still have the jars of salsa. No, there was never a pic of an exploding A-Bomb, so I guess my fertile imagination supplied that. Yes, the green jalapeno sauce is, in her words, "pretty hot. If your not used to hot sauce you might find it a bit uncomfortable."


They run TV commercials these days.
 
2012-12-17 03:11:57 PM
Just wait til some little kid has some of daddy's 'devil p-nut butter' and ends up in the hospital. Things will get all lawyery really fast.
 
2012-12-17 03:40:11 PM

stupiddream: Just wait til some little kid has some of daddy's 'devil p-nut butter' and ends up in the hospital. Things will get all lawyery really fast.


or makes it into a sammich and brings it to school. Oh, the horror of fake peanut allergies!
 
2012-12-17 03:50:59 PM
Finally a way to get back at that bully who steals your lunch.
 
2012-12-17 04:07:05 PM

rpm: BarleyGnome: .I will never understand why you want your sphincter to burn and itch for days on end.

It doesn't matter how hot the food is, I've NEVER gotten ring of fire.


A few years ago, I made some pasta and tossed it with herbs, Parmesan cheese, and olive oil that had been infusing with a very large pinch of Pakistani red pepper flakes (which are about twice as hot as the ones you find in Italian restaurants) on low heat for about 20 minutes (it infused for the entire time the pasta was cooking). I guess not a lot of heat diffused out of the pepper flakes in that time, because the meal wasn't particularly hot to my palette, but it must have continued to diffuse in my gut because about 36 hours later I experienced explosive decompression from my large intestine.

Surprisingly, I've cooked with much hotter peppers, but only ghost peppers and those Pakistani flakes have ever had that effect on me.
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report