If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Wired)   White House website petition to build a Death Star reaches required 25k signatures for official response. Let's start by dissolving the Senate. Fear will keep the local states in line   (wired.com) divider line 103
    More: Followup, Senate, Death Star, White House, galactic empire, Wired magazine, typewriters, registered sex offender, UK Threat Levels  
•       •       •

5531 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 11:18 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-17 10:59:16 AM  
So this website SEEMS cool, but is there a website with all the official responses to petitions gaining the 25,000 required signatures? I've seen a number of interesting ones but haven't seen any responses.
 
2012-12-17 11:01:54 AM  

jaylectricity: So this website SEEMS cool, but is there a website with all the official responses to petitions gaining the 25,000 required signatures? I've seen a number of interesting ones but haven't seen any responses.


right there at the top of the page, the link labeled "responses"
 
2012-12-17 11:12:47 AM  
I meant where are the responses to the petitions I care about.
 
2012-12-17 11:20:37 AM  
I hope all those independent contractors working on the thing get good life insurance.
 
2012-12-17 11:21:49 AM  
Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocratic but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governance.
 
2012-12-17 11:22:48 AM  
I did an inquery on Obama Death Stars, but my Bothan contact hasn't gotten back to me yet.
 
2012-12-17 11:23:32 AM  
I'm pretty sure that website is being used to track Americans. That's why I never signed up.

/Adds another layer of tinfoil to be safe
 
2012-12-17 11:23:46 AM  
I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?
 
2012-12-17 11:24:13 AM  
We can't even build a Land Speeder.
 
2012-12-17 11:24:30 AM  
Help me Paul Ryan, you're our only hope
 
2012-12-17 11:25:00 AM  
Methinks the 25K threshold may have become slightly low.
 
2012-12-17 11:25:22 AM  
I'm in.
I'm sure the empire can be trusted to only use such power for the most justified reasons.

/voted for lord Vader.
/twice.
 
2012-12-17 11:25:30 AM  

jaylectricity: I meant where are the responses to the petitions I care about.


Can't argue with you there.
 
2012-12-17 11:26:29 AM  
I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.
 
2012-12-17 11:26:51 AM  

Biness: Helrp me Paul Ryan, you're our only hopederp

 
2012-12-17 11:27:00 AM  
"Oh I'm afraid the IRS will be fully operational when your tax day arrives."
 
2012-12-17 11:27:14 AM  
We got Death Star! We got Death Star! We got Death Star!
 
2012-12-17 11:27:21 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.


a Freudian slip perhaps?
 
2012-12-17 11:28:11 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.


Heh, I think Obama would play it the other way: "I have heard your requests to build a Death Star. I, too, want a Death Star. Alderan may SAY it's a peaceful planet, but can we REALLY trust them?"
 
2012-12-17 11:28:32 AM  
A few points that need addressed.
No vents that lead directly to the core.
Better rodent control
Encrypted communcation systems, including trash compactors.
Safer tractor beam access controls.
 
2012-12-17 11:31:02 AM  
Typical elitist secrit sith usurper
 
2012-12-17 11:32:06 AM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.


He should play along for sure. He's proven to be a bit nerdy...

PunGent:

Heh, I think Obama would play it the other way: "I have heard your requests to build a Death Star. I, too, want a Death Star. Alderan may SAY it's a peaceful planet, but can we REALLY trust them?"


But really.. THIS. he should go 100% off the charts and just make the crazy haters go seething mad with WTF jealousy.
 
2012-12-17 11:32:18 AM  
No link, but some lt col at the pentagon wrote a piece on why building droids would be better than building a death star.
 
2012-12-17 11:33:05 AM  

dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?


I guess when you have 1.5 million worlds* industrial production at your fingertips (and much more advanced technology), you can make more stuff than we could on earth.

*only counting full member worlds, not colonies of course
 
2012-12-17 11:33:07 AM  
t0.gstatic.com

Well, the Senate has been infected by the Dark Side for some time.......
 
2012-12-17 11:36:57 AM  

dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?


I was watching a clip for a space movie and they had all these crazy sized space ships and wandered how much steel it would take to build them, thanks for the link. I guess when we terraform Mars we can then take apart the earth for the raw iron.
 
2012-12-17 11:38:41 AM  
The more you tighten your grip, subby, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
 
2012-12-17 11:39:00 AM  
The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.
 
2012-12-17 11:41:08 AM  
We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]
 
2012-12-17 11:42:48 AM  

durbnpoisn: The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.


They weren't aiming to destroy any planets; they were, however, trying to destroy the rebels. I imagine they wouldn't need to charge the laser up fully.
 
2012-12-17 11:44:51 AM  
There's already a perfectly good response to the petition, written over a year ago:

Acquisition Lessons from a Galaxy Far, Far Away by LtCol Dan Ward.
 
2012-12-17 11:45:59 AM  
ok, but it should only be able to shoot out Skittle Rainbows...
 
2012-12-17 11:47:55 AM  

Glass Parking Lot Attendant: We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]


"Can't" and "don't see a financial or scientific interest in" are 2 different things. With the ISS it's far more cost effective to just setup experiments there. We HAVE moon rock, so going back to the moon doesn't really do anything for us. We could easily do it, we have the tech, we have the launch sites.

Building a Death Star would actually push the scientific community further. Could you imagine the physicists jizzing over a 0 G particle accelerator?
 
2012-12-17 11:48:00 AM  

durbnpoisn: The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.


IIRC, the big feature of the second one was variable power out of its laser. In that it could fire out multiple lower powered bursts, with each burst capable of vaporizing a capital warship. With the first one, you got planet destroying beam, followed by a long ass recharge cycle. No other options. So with the first one, had it been at Endor, it would have gotten off one shot, fried whatever was in the path of the beam and that would have been that.
 
2012-12-17 11:49:57 AM  

DoBeDoBeDo: Glass Parking Lot Attendant: We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]

"Can't" and "don't see a financial or scientific interest in" are 2 different things. With the ISS it's far more cost effective to just setup experiments there. We HAVE moon rock, so going back to the moon doesn't really do anything for us. We could easily do it, we have the tech, we have the launch sites.

Building a Death Star would actually push the scientific community further. Could you imagine the physicists jizzing over a 0 G particle accelerator?


yet they would become severely depressed when they failed to properly protect the thermal exhaust port

/turned off my computer
//i'm fine
///red 5
////ep 7 is going to SUCK
 
2012-12-17 11:50:27 AM  
Glass Parking Lot Attendant Smartest
Funniest
2012-12-17 11:41:08 AM


We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]


That's NO moon.

At least get the joke right asshat.
 
2012-12-17 11:51:54 AM  
what happened to the legalize marijuana petition?
 
2012-12-17 11:52:28 AM  

durbnpoisn: I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.


I think they have control over how much power is used. For blowing up a capital ship you'd dial it back, you wouldn't need a full-bore powerup.
 
2012-12-17 11:53:51 AM  

ha-ha-guy: durbnpoisn: The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.

IIRC, the big feature of the second one was variable power out of its laser. In that it could fire out multiple lower powered bursts, with each burst capable of vaporizing a capital warship. With the first one, you got planet destroying beam, followed by a long ass recharge cycle. No other options. So with the first one, had it been at Endor, it would have gotten off one shot, fried whatever was in the path of the beam and that would have been that.


I don't recall that dialogue in the movie. But that would make sense if it was written elsewhere...
 
2012-12-17 11:54:05 AM  
It's not like they answer any actual interesting/important/useful petitions...

The Recent "Responses":
Response to We the People Petition on D. Randall Blythe
Response to We the People Petition on Smolensk Air Crash
Why We Can't Comment on Zeek Rewards
 
2012-12-17 11:55:52 AM  
Actually, some kind of (much smaller) multinational orbital fort to blast incoming killer asteroids and ICBM launches from rogue nations like NK and Iran might be a good idea. Even if the politics limits it to just blasting asteroids, the cost -vs- potential downside of NOT having it make sense.
 
2012-12-17 11:58:38 AM  

Gosling: Methinks the 25K threshold may have become slightly low.


It should be the number of Honey Boo Boo's followers times two.
 
2012-12-17 11:59:53 AM  

Biness: Help me Paul Ryan, you're our only hope


You're screwed.
 
2012-12-17 12:00:57 PM  
I hope the people who signed that petition never complain about the government wasting time and resources on trivial matters.

they will
 
2012-12-17 12:01:33 PM  
it's idiots doing shiat like this which will ultimately doom the whole white house online petition thing.

farking morons
 
2012-12-17 12:03:16 PM  
First we need to see if the Galactic Empire patented the Death Star. If they have then the Lawyers will get involved. When Lawyers get involved it never ends well.
 
2012-12-17 12:03:53 PM  

xen0blue: it's idiots doing shiat like this which will ultimately doom the whole white house online petition thing.

farking morons


in fairness, it was pretty stupid to begin with
 
2012-12-17 12:10:23 PM  

LegacyDL: We got Death Star! We got Death Star! We got Death Star!


Yea, that's right R2
I just set a new course,
We're going to Cloud City,

(Ahhhh) That's mighty good gin and tonic.
Why don't you mix me up another,
Thing's about to get ugly
 
2012-12-17 12:11:17 PM  

DoBeDoBeDo: don't see a financial or scientific interest in


So, financial or scientific interests in building death star is > mining tritium, Gottit. Amending database. Thanks for the update.
 
2012-12-17 12:15:06 PM  

dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?


Your looking at this all wrong, we those defense contractor jobs.Plus it being military who cares about expense, heck look at the F35.
 
2012-12-17 12:16:32 PM  
In light of recent events and all the knee jerking reactionaries do we really want to bulid anything with Death in the title? I thought we are trying to ban deadly things this week
 
2012-12-17 12:17:14 PM  

Onkel Buck: In light of recent events and all the knee jerking reactionaries do we really want to bulid anything with Death in the title? I thought we are trying to ban deadly things this week


yea, lets call it the life star. We can open it on Life Day.
 
2012-12-17 12:20:50 PM  
....and what are we going to do with this "death star"?
 
2012-12-17 12:21:33 PM  
inspirezme.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-17 12:22:57 PM  

Biness: Onkel Buck: In light of recent events and all the knee jerking reactionaries do we really want to bulid anything with Death in the title? I thought we are trying to ban deadly things this week

yea, lets call it the life star. We can open it on Life Day.


Call it Yonada.
 
2012-12-17 12:36:31 PM  

Biness: xen0blue: it's idiots doing shiat like this which will ultimately doom the whole white house online petition thing.

farking morons

in fairness, it was pretty stupid to begin with


Agree with this, I do.
Attaching a direct line from the Internet to the White House was just a beacon to attract every idiot with a half thought suggestion or political axe to grind, and it just so happens that idiots move in large numbers.
His men probably thought they could use it as a means to legitimize certain issues, and not that it would be usurped by trolls instead.

/Predict this, Obama's staff did not.
/That, is why they fail.
 
2012-12-17 12:36:35 PM  

Onkel Buck: In light of recent events and all the knee jerking reactionaries do we really want to bulid anything with Death in the title? I thought we are trying to ban deadly things this week


This week on a special episode of NCIS, an investigation into the death of a former Navy SEAL takes Gibbs and Ziva into a dangerous situation, which they are able to resolve through 25 minutes of dialogue and sharing of feelings.
 
2012-12-17 12:36:48 PM  
Peace is a lie.
 
2012-12-17 12:38:57 PM  
I would be perfectly happy with doing away with the Senate. It is an obstructionist anachronism at this point, and completely unnecessary.
 
2012-12-17 12:40:10 PM  
Maybe we get the railing along the firing tube this time?
 
2012-12-17 12:41:11 PM  
Came for a photoshop of Gov. Chris Christie as Jabba.
 
2012-12-17 12:42:57 PM  

Enemabag Jones: No vents that lead directly to the core.


I don't know what you're so worried about. I'm sure anything like that would be no bigger than a womp rat.
 
2012-12-17 12:48:06 PM  

hdhale: This week on a special episode of NCIS, an investigation into the death of a former Navy SEAL takes Gibbs and Ziva into a dangerous situation, which they are able to resolve through 25 minutes of dialogue and sharing of feelings.


Ahhh, I see what you're doing, you're conflating a situation where deadly force is required to a situation where a psychopath used a weapon to slaughter innocents. How's that make you feel? A little slimy?
 
jvl
2012-12-17 01:00:45 PM  

TofuTheAlmighty: Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocraticwas designed to impede rushing into things but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governanceto me getting my way. *stamps tiny foot*.


FTFY
 
2012-12-17 01:02:04 PM  

zerkalo: Maybe we get the railing along the firing tube this time?


No. We don't want you leaning on it all day.
 
2012-12-17 01:02:41 PM  

StaleCoffee: Peace is a lie.


Have some cake?
 
2012-12-17 01:03:02 PM  
Did joe ever get the bird?
 
2012-12-17 01:13:39 PM  
This is why we can't have nice things.
 
2012-12-17 01:14:11 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: what happened to the legalize marijuana petition?


(waves hand)

This isn't the petition you're looking for.
 
2012-12-17 01:14:55 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: There's already a perfectly good response to the petition, written over a year ago:

Acquisition Lessons from a Galaxy Far, Far Away by LtCol Dan Ward.


Heh, good read.

Thanks, hadn't seen that one.
 
2012-12-17 01:19:53 PM  

jvl: TofuTheAlmighty: Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocraticwas designed to impede rushing into things designed to ensure state representation in a genuine republic, but hasn't been that since the 17th Amendment but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governanceto me getting my way way for the tyranny of one Senator to impede the progress of the entire nation.

FTFY


Indeed.
 
2012-12-17 01:25:53 PM  
Am I the only one bored of these joke petitions?
 
jvl
2012-12-17 01:33:34 PM  

Rent Party: jvl: TofuTheAlmighty: Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocraticwas designed to impede rushing into things designed to ensure state representation in a genuine republic, but hasn't been that since the 17th Amendment but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governanceto me getting my way way for the tyranny of one Senator to impede the progress of the entire nation.

FTFY

Indeed.


Things you might want to refresh your memory on: The Federalist Papers

Things you don't need to refresh your memory on: A Senator can only impede by actually standing there and talking.
 
2012-12-17 01:52:38 PM  

Rent Party: jvl: TofuTheAlmighty: Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocraticwas designed to impede rushing into things designed to ensure state representation in a genuine republic, but hasn't been that since the 17th Amendment but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governanceto me getting my way way for the tyranny of one Senator to impede the progress of the entire nation.

FTFY

Indeed.


There's a reason the 17th amendment was passed by 2/3rds of the voters and both Houses. State election of senators was a corrupt morass of patronage politics.
 
2012-12-17 01:57:00 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: what happened to the legalize marijuana petition?


It was last seen heading to Taco Bell, but it may have been distracted by a mural or something on the way there.
 
2012-12-17 02:17:32 PM  
It's another T.A.R.P.!
 
2012-12-17 02:20:53 PM  
Everyone should have WMDs. They increase sale value.
 
2012-12-17 02:21:48 PM  

jvl: Rent Party: jvl: TofuTheAlmighty: Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocraticwas designed to impede rushing into things designed to ensure state representation in a genuine republic, but hasn't been that since the 17th Amendment but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governanceto me getting my way way for the tyranny of one Senator to impede the progress of the entire nation.

FTFY

Indeed.

Things you might want to refresh your memory on: The Federalist Papers


Things you might want to know about the Federalist Papers: They only represent the views of the Federalists. If those guys had their way, Senators would still be appointed by the states, and there would be no Bill of Rights. Thomas Jefferson thought they were a bunch of assholes, and so did John Marshal.

Things you might want to know about the Federalists: They, too, faded away into obscurity after they became obsolete.


Things you don't need to refresh your memory on: A Senator can only impede by actually standing there and talking.


Things you might want to know about Senate Rules:

1) No, they don't.
2) The Senate controls, to 100% degree, every aspect of how they create legislation.
3) They have used #2 to allow individual Senators to completely block the progress of the nation.
4) They could have, at any time, done away with #3, and yet have not.

The conclusion we can reach is that the Senate has become a clubhouse for obstructionist cocks, and should be done away with. It is an anachronism.
 
2012-12-17 02:23:32 PM  

theorellior: Rent Party: jvl: TofuTheAlmighty: Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocraticwas designed to impede rushing into things designed to ensure state representation in a genuine republic, but hasn't been that since the 17th Amendment but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governanceto me getting my way way for the tyranny of one Senator to impede the progress of the entire nation.

FTFY

Indeed.

There's a reason the 17th amendment was passed by 2/3rds of the voters and both Houses. State election of senators was a corrupt morass of patronage politics.


So, nothing has changed?
 
2012-12-17 02:57:49 PM  
The world is farking turning to shiat
The earth don't stand a chance
Hurricane typhoon will destroy the city

We've got to clean up the skies and recycle
We've got to stop the overpopulation

But most important of all
We've got to build a Deth Starr

But how? How?
I hired a nerd
I farkin' paid a nerd
It is absurd, but I paid him to build it
Cause I don't know how to build that shiat, that's right
 
2012-12-17 03:11:46 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: what happened to the legalize marijuana petition?


It went up in smoke.
 
2012-12-17 03:21:49 PM  

xria: dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?

I guess when you have 1.5 million worlds* industrial production at your fingertips (and much more advanced technology), you can make more stuff than we could on earth.

*only counting full member worlds, not colonies of course


1.5 million member worlds? Really?

The more I learn about Star Wars' "history" the less impressed I am.

In a governmental system that big, something like the Death Star taking out Alderan wouldn't inspire terror...it wouldn't even make the legal notices at the back of the local paper...
 
2012-12-17 03:25:56 PM  

CygnusDarius: Everyone should have WMDs. They increase sale value.


No they don't, I have three kids and all they do is tear stuff up.
 
2012-12-17 03:37:49 PM  

Rent Party: So, nothing has changed?


Whatever dude. I'm sure it's exactly the same. [rolls eyes]
 
2012-12-17 03:46:45 PM  

PunGent: xria: dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?

I guess when you have 1.5 million worlds* industrial production at your fingertips (and much more advanced technology), you can make more stuff than we could on earth.

*only counting full member worlds, not colonies of course

1.5 million member worlds? Really?

The more I learn about Star Wars' "history" the less impressed I am.

In a governmental system that big, something like the Death Star taking out Alderan wouldn't inspire terror...it wouldn't even make the legal notices at the back of the local paper...


Not necessarily. According to the movies, prior to the construction of the Death Star it would have taken the firepower of half the imperial fleet to blow up an entire planet. Judging from how the characters react to the destruction of Alderaan, it seems unlikely that anyone had actually blown up a planet before, but even if someone had, having one ship with that much firepower would have been a really big deal, much as the atomic bomb (i.e. a single bomb that could level an entire city) was a big deal at the end of World War II.

The idea of a Death Star is pretty hokey to begin with, though, since it would take far less energy to destroy a planet's biosphere than to destroy the entire planet. So even if you could muster the energy to reduce a planet to an asteroid field, it would be a hugely wasteful to actually do so.
 
2012-12-17 04:09:30 PM  

anfrind: PunGent: xria: dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?

I guess when you have 1.5 million worlds* industrial production at your fingertips (and much more advanced technology), you can make more stuff than we could on earth.

*only counting full member worlds, not colonies of course

1.5 million member worlds? Really?

The more I learn about Star Wars' "history" the less impressed I am.

In a governmental system that big, something like the Death Star taking out Alderan wouldn't inspire terror...it wouldn't even make the legal notices at the back of the local paper...

Not necessarily. According to the movies, prior to the construction of the Death Star it would have taken the firepower of half the imperial fleet to blow up an entire planet. Judging from how the characters react to the destruction of Alderaan, it seems unlikely that anyone had actually blown up a planet before, but even if someone had, having one ship with that much firepower would have been a really big deal, much as the atomic bomb (i.e. a single bomb that could level an entire city) was a big deal at the end of World War II.
.


But in the first movie, you weren't given the idea that their were anything like 1.5 million inhabited worlds, at least that I recall. So, in the movie, the DS was a credible threat, and blowing up Alderan makes the Empire capital E-evil. If there's 1.5 million inhabited planets, Vader's reduced to something like the whackjob who shot up the elementary school. Evil, but not grand-scale epic villain.

I figured there were, I dunno, a hundred planets. Having a million of them reduces Vader by a factor of...crap, I was told there'd be no math...well, by a couple orders of magnitude.

It's the backstory additions that weaken the earlier, pure narrative, imho. In other words...less is more.

It's like all the crap Lucas added in when he re-mastered the movies.

Or, take the light saber: cool, elegant weapon. 10/10.

Take Darth Maul's double ended light saber: twice as many blades, should be twice as cool, right? nope, less cool, 6/10

What's his name, the robot sith guy, with four twirling light sabers? not four times as cool; instead, kiddie stuff, 2/10

My understanding is the "canon" literature has "light axes": not cool. At all. 1/10.
 
2012-12-17 04:13:15 PM  

PunGent: But in the first movie, you weren't given the idea that their were anything like 1.5 million inhabited worlds, at least that I recall. So, in the movie, the DS was a credible threat, and blowing up Alderan makes the Empire capital E-evil. If there's 1.5 million inhabited planets, Vader's reduced to something like the whackjob who shot up the elementary school. Evil, but not grand-scale epic villain.


You also have to consider population density. Take the planet Yoda lived on, for example. I was under the impression that he was the only sentient being living there. So, that's an "inhabited planet", but nobody would have really missed it (except for Luke, of course).
 
2012-12-17 05:26:10 PM  
my ability to post images was revoked years ago because a boobies thread. mods thought I went overboard...lets see if it still is -

yup it still is...\

Linky
 
2012-12-17 07:36:38 PM  

durbnpoisn: The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.


Well, one would assume that it's not a laser; a laser would not cause a planet to explode, it'd just burn a rather large hole in it. Whatever space-magic the Death Star beam is, it seems to simply cause whatever it hits to explode -- be it a ship, a planet or (one could assume) a Bieber.
 
2012-12-17 07:49:32 PM  

PunGent: xria: dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?

I guess when you have 1.5 million worlds* industrial production at your fingertips (and much more advanced technology), you can make more stuff than we could on earth.

*only counting full member worlds, not colonies of course

1.5 million member worlds? Really?

The more I learn about Star Wars' "history" the less impressed I am.

In a governmental system that big, something like the Death Star taking out Alderan wouldn't inspire terror...it wouldn't even make the legal notices at the back of the local paper...


Not to mention it makes the Emperor far less evil. In fact, with the obvious logistical bukkake that governing a million+ worlds would be like with a bureaucratic system of representative democracy, the Emperor's choice of letting the "regional governors have direct control of their systems" seems to be a move towards distributed and self-reliant government rather than centralized federal powers.

One could say the Emperor did the galaxy a huge favor by ridding it of an obviously corrupt and ill-suited bureaucracy that was far too influenced by a religious sect...
 
2012-12-17 08:13:04 PM  

PunGent: But in the first movie, you weren't given the idea that their were anything like 1.5 million inhabited worlds, at least that I recall. So, in the movie, the DS was a credible threat, and blowing up Alderan makes the Empire capital E-evil. If there's 1.5 million inhabited planets, Vader's reduced to something like the whackjob who shot up the elementary school. Evil, but not grand-scale epic villain.

I figured there were, I dunno, a hundred planets. Having a million of them reduces Vader by a factor of...crap, I was told there'd be no math...well, by a couple orders of magnitude.

It's the backstory additions that weaken the earlier, pure narrative, imho. In other words...less is more.


I can agree with most of that, although in the final scene of "Empire Strikes Back", it is hinted at that the Empire spans the entire galaxy, which would make 1.5 million planets seem plausible. The significance of that might be lost on your typical movie-goer, however, as most people simply can't wrap their heads around something that big.

I'd argue that "Star Wars", like most "soft" science fiction, has had problems with scale from the beginning. Case in point: Han Solo bragged early on that the Millenium Falcon could do "point-five past light-speed", which is never explained but it sounds like he means it can go 1.5 times the speed of light. That means it would take almost three years to travel the distance between our sun and Alpha Centauri, and about 80,000 years to travel across the galaxy (assuming a galaxy of the same size as the Milky Way), and obviously the Millennium Falcon and nearly every other spaceship in those stories are traveling from one star system to another in far less time than that.
 
2012-12-17 08:28:01 PM  

scalpod:
We've got to build a Deth Starr


That took way too long.
 
2012-12-17 09:42:43 PM  
Pucca Glass Parking Lot Attendant 2012-12-17 11:41:08 AM


We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]


That's NO moon.

At least get the joke right asshat.

Pretend I Care, Derpwad. I'm not a raging Star Wars fanboy like you.
 
2012-12-17 10:45:32 PM  
We need to remember that evil was a matter of one point of view. At least that's what Ben told Luke
 
2012-12-17 11:47:32 PM  

Precision Boobery: scalpod:
We've got to build a Deth Starr

That took way too long.


profile.ak.fbcdn.net

I just got here myself.
 
2012-12-18 03:13:17 AM  

Somaticasual: Did joe ever get the bird?


"who gives a bird" - official white house response

/read it either way you'd like
 
2012-12-18 06:24:04 AM  

Glass Parking Lot Attendant: Pretend I Care, Derpwad. I'm not a raging Star Wars fanboy like you.


you are in SO the wrong thread, of the wrong tab, of the wrong website of the wrong type, to be making such basic errors. My 12 year old niece could win moar fark than you. And totally PWN you at internets.
 
2012-12-18 12:01:54 PM  
uttertosh: babbles derp.

I'll bet you signed that stupid petition.
 
2012-12-18 04:48:46 PM  

Glass Parking Lot Attendant: uttertosh: babbles derp.

I'll bet you signed that stupid petition.


LMAO, look at my profile next time, as I give my location. Bet lost. What do you owe me?

You came in and utterly misquoted one of the best-known quotes in the whole series, get corrected, then have a hissy fit about the correction:

"Pretend I Care, Derpwad. I'm not a raging Star Wars fanboy like you."

Then, after I point out the nature of the specific niche thread you are posting in, you think I'm the one with the DERP? You only use that term cos you saw cool kids using it 5 years ago.

In using it, you sound like a youth pastor who comes up to a bunch of kids and says "YO! i'ma rap to you cats about a dawg theys be callin J.C."

And that's just sad.

Dumbass boomer. Run along now, and make a start on your T.A.R.D.I.S. like a good little peter pan, yeah?

cdn.inquisitr.com
 
2012-12-19 09:38:26 AM  
utterbs: loads of crap:

You must be one of those internet toughguys I hear so much about.
 
2012-12-19 03:45:48 PM  

Glass Parking Lot Attendant: You must be one of those internet toughguys I hear so much about.


I know, I know, it all seems so much when you first arrive on the intertubes. Some of the trendy-speak us kiddies use is so confusing.

To clarify: ITG is usually the name called to one who says something along the lines of "If that were me getting attacked by 20 ninjas in the subway, I'da totally beat the shiat outta them all with my 1337 gunslingin skillz", suggesting that they are tougher (on the internet), than they are in real life. (hence the Internet Tough Guy name)

I did nothing even remotely like this.

Me? I'm a dork who, whilst is in no way a "raging starwars fanboy", can quote several commonly quoted starwars lines. The ones I can't get remember off hand, I utilize a search engine called google.com (note that down, you may want to refer to later), which usually comes up with the right syntax, phrasing, etc. When I'm wrong and it's pointed out, I endeavour to thank the other person for correcting my mistake, note the mistake I made, and use the correct form in all future correspondence.

Live and learn, or die in a bunch of flaming, as an example to others, crying "DERP DERP DERP ITG ITG TROLL TROLL TROLL" all the way, (like you know what it means, old man)
 
2012-12-20 01:59:57 PM  
uttertosh: Cont. herp-a-derp, etc...

old man eh?

i.usatoday.net

Get. Off. My. Lawn.
 
2012-12-20 05:08:48 PM  

Glass Parking Lot Attendant: uttertosh: Cont. herp-a-derp, etc...

old man eh?

[i.usatoday.net image 490x368]

Get. Off. My. Lawn.


AH! Now I get it! You're not a raging starwars fanboy, you're a peter-pan. Just like you spelled out to us. Oh woe is me for not joining the dots sooner.

/fishsticks and vanillasauce!
 
Displayed 103 of 103 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report