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(Wired)   White House website petition to build a Death Star reaches required 25k signatures for official response. Let's start by dissolving the Senate. Fear will keep the local states in line   (wired.com) divider line 103
    More: Followup, Senate, Death Star, White House, galactic empire, Wired magazine, typewriters, registered sex offender, UK Threat Levels  
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5527 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Dec 2012 at 11:18 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-17 10:59:16 AM
So this website SEEMS cool, but is there a website with all the official responses to petitions gaining the 25,000 required signatures? I've seen a number of interesting ones but haven't seen any responses.
 
2012-12-17 11:01:54 AM

jaylectricity: So this website SEEMS cool, but is there a website with all the official responses to petitions gaining the 25,000 required signatures? I've seen a number of interesting ones but haven't seen any responses.


right there at the top of the page, the link labeled "responses"
 
2012-12-17 11:12:47 AM
I meant where are the responses to the petitions I care about.
 
2012-12-17 11:20:37 AM
I hope all those independent contractors working on the thing get good life insurance.
 
2012-12-17 11:21:49 AM
Dissolve the Senate? Yes, please. It has always been profoundly antidemocratic but now it is nothing but a huge impediment to governance.
 
2012-12-17 11:22:48 AM
I did an inquery on Obama Death Stars, but my Bothan contact hasn't gotten back to me yet.
 
2012-12-17 11:23:32 AM
I'm pretty sure that website is being used to track Americans. That's why I never signed up.

/Adds another layer of tinfoil to be safe
 
2012-12-17 11:23:46 AM
I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?
 
2012-12-17 11:24:13 AM
We can't even build a Land Speeder.
 
2012-12-17 11:24:30 AM
Help me Paul Ryan, you're our only hope
 
2012-12-17 11:25:00 AM
Methinks the 25K threshold may have become slightly low.
 
2012-12-17 11:25:22 AM
I'm in.
I'm sure the empire can be trusted to only use such power for the most justified reasons.

/voted for lord Vader.
/twice.
 
2012-12-17 11:25:30 AM

jaylectricity: I meant where are the responses to the petitions I care about.


Can't argue with you there.
 
2012-12-17 11:26:29 AM
I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.
 
2012-12-17 11:26:51 AM

Biness: Helrp me Paul Ryan, you're our only hopederp

 
2012-12-17 11:27:00 AM
"Oh I'm afraid the IRS will be fully operational when your tax day arrives."
 
2012-12-17 11:27:14 AM
We got Death Star! We got Death Star! We got Death Star!
 
2012-12-17 11:27:21 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.


a Freudian slip perhaps?
 
2012-12-17 11:28:11 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.


Heh, I think Obama would play it the other way: "I have heard your requests to build a Death Star. I, too, want a Death Star. Alderan may SAY it's a peaceful planet, but can we REALLY trust them?"
 
2012-12-17 11:28:32 AM
A few points that need addressed.
No vents that lead directly to the core.
Better rodent control
Encrypted communcation systems, including trash compactors.
Safer tractor beam access controls.
 
2012-12-17 11:31:02 AM
Typical elitist secrit sith usurper
 
2012-12-17 11:32:06 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: I would lover for him to break into prime time television for a conference.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen of these united states of America, as your president I have heard your requests for our government to build a Death Star...Stop being stupid.

Thank you and god bless America.


He should play along for sure. He's proven to be a bit nerdy...

PunGent:

Heh, I think Obama would play it the other way: "I have heard your requests to build a Death Star. I, too, want a Death Star. Alderan may SAY it's a peaceful planet, but can we REALLY trust them?"


But really.. THIS. he should go 100% off the charts and just make the crazy haters go seething mad with WTF jealousy.
 
2012-12-17 11:32:18 AM
No link, but some lt col at the pentagon wrote a piece on why building droids would be better than building a death star.
 
2012-12-17 11:33:05 AM

dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?


I guess when you have 1.5 million worlds* industrial production at your fingertips (and much more advanced technology), you can make more stuff than we could on earth.

*only counting full member worlds, not colonies of course
 
2012-12-17 11:33:07 AM
t0.gstatic.com

Well, the Senate has been infected by the Dark Side for some time.......
 
2012-12-17 11:36:57 AM

dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?


I was watching a clip for a space movie and they had all these crazy sized space ships and wandered how much steel it would take to build them, thanks for the link. I guess when we terraform Mars we can then take apart the earth for the raw iron.
 
2012-12-17 11:38:41 AM
The more you tighten your grip, subby, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.
 
2012-12-17 11:39:00 AM
The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.
 
2012-12-17 11:41:08 AM
We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]
 
2012-12-17 11:42:48 AM

durbnpoisn: The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.


They weren't aiming to destroy any planets; they were, however, trying to destroy the rebels. I imagine they wouldn't need to charge the laser up fully.
 
2012-12-17 11:44:51 AM
There's already a perfectly good response to the petition, written over a year ago:

Acquisition Lessons from a Galaxy Far, Far Away by LtCol Dan Ward.
 
2012-12-17 11:45:59 AM
ok, but it should only be able to shoot out Skittle Rainbows...
 
2012-12-17 11:47:55 AM

Glass Parking Lot Attendant: We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]


"Can't" and "don't see a financial or scientific interest in" are 2 different things. With the ISS it's far more cost effective to just setup experiments there. We HAVE moon rock, so going back to the moon doesn't really do anything for us. We could easily do it, we have the tech, we have the launch sites.

Building a Death Star would actually push the scientific community further. Could you imagine the physicists jizzing over a 0 G particle accelerator?
 
2012-12-17 11:48:00 AM

durbnpoisn: The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.


IIRC, the big feature of the second one was variable power out of its laser. In that it could fire out multiple lower powered bursts, with each burst capable of vaporizing a capital warship. With the first one, you got planet destroying beam, followed by a long ass recharge cycle. No other options. So with the first one, had it been at Endor, it would have gotten off one shot, fried whatever was in the path of the beam and that would have been that.
 
2012-12-17 11:49:57 AM

DoBeDoBeDo: Glass Parking Lot Attendant: We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]

"Can't" and "don't see a financial or scientific interest in" are 2 different things. With the ISS it's far more cost effective to just setup experiments there. We HAVE moon rock, so going back to the moon doesn't really do anything for us. We could easily do it, we have the tech, we have the launch sites.

Building a Death Star would actually push the scientific community further. Could you imagine the physicists jizzing over a 0 G particle accelerator?


yet they would become severely depressed when they failed to properly protect the thermal exhaust port

/turned off my computer
//i'm fine
///red 5
////ep 7 is going to SUCK
 
2012-12-17 11:50:27 AM
Glass Parking Lot Attendant Smartest
Funniest
2012-12-17 11:41:08 AM


We can't even go back to the moon and they want to build a new moon. (Insert "That's not a moon that's a space station" joke here...) [getalifemorans.jpg]


That's NO moon.

At least get the joke right asshat.
 
2012-12-17 11:51:54 AM
what happened to the legalize marijuana petition?
 
2012-12-17 11:52:28 AM

durbnpoisn: I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.


I think they have control over how much power is used. For blowing up a capital ship you'd dial it back, you wouldn't need a full-bore powerup.
 
2012-12-17 11:53:51 AM

ha-ha-guy: durbnpoisn: The captain has turned on th Nerd Light...

I've often wondered about the 2nd Death Star. According to the title crawl it was supposed to be bigger and more powerful than the first. Yet, the first one blew up an entire planet with a single shot. The 2nd one destoyed a few large cruisers, and that was it. You'd think the laser was that strong, it would cut directly through the hull of multiple cruisers with each shot.

//That is all.

IIRC, the big feature of the second one was variable power out of its laser. In that it could fire out multiple lower powered bursts, with each burst capable of vaporizing a capital warship. With the first one, you got planet destroying beam, followed by a long ass recharge cycle. No other options. So with the first one, had it been at Endor, it would have gotten off one shot, fried whatever was in the path of the beam and that would have been that.


I don't recall that dialogue in the movie. But that would make sense if it was written elsewhere...
 
2012-12-17 11:54:05 AM
It's not like they answer any actual interesting/important/useful petitions...

The Recent "Responses":
Response to We the People Petition on D. Randall Blythe
Response to We the People Petition on Smolensk Air Crash
Why We Can't Comment on Zeek Rewards
 
2012-12-17 11:55:52 AM
Actually, some kind of (much smaller) multinational orbital fort to blast incoming killer asteroids and ICBM launches from rogue nations like NK and Iran might be a good idea. Even if the politics limits it to just blasting asteroids, the cost -vs- potential downside of NOT having it make sense.
 
2012-12-17 11:58:38 AM

Gosling: Methinks the 25K threshold may have become slightly low.


It should be the number of Honey Boo Boo's followers times two.
 
2012-12-17 11:59:53 AM

Biness: Help me Paul Ryan, you're our only hope


You're screwed.
 
2012-12-17 12:00:57 PM
I hope the people who signed that petition never complain about the government wasting time and resources on trivial matters.

they will
 
2012-12-17 12:01:33 PM
it's idiots doing shiat like this which will ultimately doom the whole white house online petition thing.

farking morons
 
2012-12-17 12:03:16 PM
First we need to see if the Galactic Empire patented the Death Star. If they have then the Lawyers will get involved. When Lawyers get involved it never ends well.
 
2012-12-17 12:03:53 PM

xen0blue: it's idiots doing shiat like this which will ultimately doom the whole white house online petition thing.

farking morons


in fairness, it was pretty stupid to begin with
 
2012-12-17 12:10:23 PM

LegacyDL: We got Death Star! We got Death Star! We got Death Star!


Yea, that's right R2
I just set a new course,
We're going to Cloud City,

(Ahhhh) That's mighty good gin and tonic.
Why don't you mix me up another,
Thing's about to get ugly
 
2012-12-17 12:11:17 PM

DoBeDoBeDo: don't see a financial or scientific interest in


So, financial or scientific interests in building death star is > mining tritium, Gottit. Amending database. Thanks for the update.
 
2012-12-17 12:15:06 PM

dv-ous: I'm all for messing with politicians, but actually building a Death Star would be Really Freakin' Expensive.

How about just a petition to dissolve the Senate?


Your looking at this all wrong, we those defense contractor jobs.Plus it being military who cares about expense, heck look at the F35.
 
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