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(Examiner)   Just in time for the destruction of Earth, Noah's ark is complete, again   (examiner.com) divider line 60
    More: Interesting, Earth, Noah's Ark, The Christian Post, Gospel of Matthew, eternal life, Northern Kentucky, Answers in Genesis  
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7805 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Dec 2012 at 3:59 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-15 03:04:34 PM
#1,699
ONE TO GO
 
2012-12-15 04:00:39 PM
Whatever happened to the one the guy was building on the MD/West Virginia border? Did he finish?
 
2012-12-15 04:01:08 PM
Now he just has to get two of everything.
 
2012-12-15 04:09:13 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-15 04:09:33 PM

iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.


I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....
 
2012-12-15 04:13:00 PM
What is a cubit?
 
2012-12-15 04:13:14 PM

Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.

I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....


And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O
 
2012-12-15 04:16:27 PM
iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.
 
2012-12-15 04:17:09 PM
A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.
 
GBB
2012-12-15 04:17:50 PM
Right!
 
2012-12-15 04:18:24 PM
God promised not to flood Earth again, so what's the point of building another Ark?

THIS is the Ark we SHOULD be building:

www.transformerscustomtoys.com
 
GBB
2012-12-15 04:20:15 PM

LazerFish: Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.

I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....

And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O


"You let me go out there and do all this stuff here
You never even looked in the bottom of that Ark
Have you looked down there?
No?
Who's gonna clean up that mess down there?
That's me"
 
2012-12-15 04:20:45 PM
I hope the velicoraptor pens have round door knobs.
 
2012-12-15 04:23:25 PM

maxheck: iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.


As in a Panamax aircraft carrier? I wonder how many of those we have left.
 
2012-12-15 04:24:48 PM
Um, this article leaves out a few really important details:

Despite his best efforts, it was impossible to adhere entirely to the biblical description of the Ark. Genesis describes Noah's boat as made of "gopher wood," but experts disagree over what this is.

Instead, Huibers and his team built the boat by welding together the metal hulls of 25 barges into a single frame, which was then covered with Scandinavian pine. Weighing about 3,000 tons, the boat contains sleeping quarters, a theater, restaurant and conference facilities to seat 1,500 people.


There's a bit of a difference between floating a welded conglomeration of metal barges on a river and floating a wooden craft larger than any entirely wooden ship known to history on a sea with waves the size of apartment buildings.
 
2012-12-15 04:24:49 PM

Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.

I wonder how long it will take to gather up the 1,900,000 insects, 140,000 mollusks, 80,000 crustaceans, 11,486 amphibians, 16,480 reptiles, 19,600 birds, and 10,832 mammals it will take to have a pair of the known species.....


Several years later...


I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.
 
2012-12-15 04:25:01 PM

GBB: Right!


If that doesn't make sense to you younger Farkers, look up Bill Cosby and the Noah's Ark skit and LYFAO. One of the greatest and cleanest comedy presentations you will ever see.
 
2012-12-15 04:25:10 PM

LazerFish: And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O


Well the animals have to eat something.... A single sheep requires 1 gallon of water a day and 6 pounds of hay/grass/grain. Noah was on the ark 370 days according to the bible, so assuming a low number of 30,000 animals on the ark that would be 33,300 short tons of food...
 
2012-12-15 04:26:06 PM

Keizer_Ghidorah: God promised not to flood Earth again, so what's the point of building another Ark?

THIS is the Ark we SHOULD be building:

[www.transformerscustomtoys.com image 400x295]


How can you tell the difference between an Atheist and a Christian?

Chances are, the Atheist actually read the Bible.
 
2012-12-15 04:26:54 PM

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


What about the Millennium Falcon
 
2012-12-15 04:28:40 PM

Kali-Yuga: LazerFish: And where does all the poop go once he has them? :O

Well the animals have to eat something.... A single sheep requires 1 gallon of water a day and 6 pounds of hay/grass/grain. Noah was on the ark 370 days according to the bible, so assuming a low number of 30,000 animals on the ark that would be 33,300 short tons of food...


His biggest problem is gonna be keeping the lions from eating everybody.

Hey, God flooded the earth with *rain* water, right? So I don't recall anything in Genesis about Noah having a salt-water aquarium. How did the sharks survive the fresh water flood, huh?
 
2012-12-15 04:29:20 PM

iheartscotch: I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.


No, you don't understand, until after the flood, all the animals and insects on earth were vegetarians, something you can plainly see since all gods creatures were designed with an herbivore's teeth and jaw structure.
 
2012-12-15 04:30:50 PM

scottapeshot: What is a cubit?


you need to fit two of them together to play billiards.
 
2012-12-15 04:35:32 PM

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


The difference being that making a full-sized replica of the Enterprise would be awesome.
 
2012-12-15 04:38:04 PM
iheartscotch:

maxheck: iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.

As in a Panamax aircraft carrier? I wonder how many of those we have left.


Well, I was thinking more cargo carrier, but the possibilities presented by the combination of an aircraft catapult + hippos does present some entertainment possibilities on the long voyage.
 
2012-12-15 04:38:17 PM

oldernell: GBB: Right!

If that doesn't make sense to you younger Farkers, look up Bill Cosby and the Noah's Ark skit and LYFAO. One of the greatest and cleanest comedy presentations you will ever see.


Kids nowadays...

//introduced mine to Monty Python and Tom Lehrer
 
2012-12-15 04:38:53 PM

iheartscotch: maxheck: iheartscotch:

Now he just has to get two of everything.

Evidently we could save *eight* of everything with a single Panamax carrier.

Guess we're good for the next flood.

As in a Panamax aircraft carrier? I wonder how many of those we have left.


As it stands; the last Panamax aircraft carriers were of the Essax class; at 820 ft long and 92 ft wide; they would clear the sides of the Panama Canal with 20 ft in width to spare, none of them are active. The midway class is 3 ft too wide. Everything else isn't even close to fitting.
 
2012-12-15 04:40:01 PM

scottapeshot: What is a cubit?


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-15 04:41:44 PM

Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.

No, you don't understand, until after the flood, all the animals and insects on earth were vegetarians, something you can plainly see since all gods creatures were designed with an herbivore's teeth and jaw structure.


Except, fossils are the work of the devil; because they show the earth is more than 6000 years old. ;)
 
2012-12-15 04:43:30 PM
This thread completes me.
 
2012-12-15 04:45:54 PM

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


You shut your whore mouth.
www.thatawesomeshirt.com
 
2012-12-15 04:47:07 PM
I've seen this movie; know how it ends.

evanalmighty.jpg
 
2012-12-15 04:55:02 PM
Fools, that ship will be unable to leap into higher dimensions to escape the return of the elder gods when the next cycle begins and the quantum state of the universe favors them again.

Truly I tell you, it is better for you to take an axe to your loved ones now before the elder gods return and make them their slaves in pain for all eternity.
 
2012-12-15 04:56:41 PM

ka1axy: Hey, God flooded the earth with *rain* water, right? So I don't recall anything in Genesis about Noah having a salt-water aquarium. How did the sharks survive the fresh water flood, huh?


Have you ever added sugar to your coffee but forgotten to stir it? Before the Flood the oceans "hadn't been stirred" yet. The oceans weren't yet saturated with salts and minerals prior to the Great Flood when waters violently washed over the land masses.
 
2012-12-15 05:00:57 PM

wildcardjack: Fools, that ship will be unable to leap into higher dimensions to escape the return of the elder gods when the next cycle begins and the quantum state of the universe favors them again.

Truly I tell you, it is better for you to take an axe to your loved ones now before the elder gods return and make them their slaves in pain for all eternity.


Ok, I axed dem. Dem sez tha u rong. Whar ur gods nao?

oldernell: GBB: Right!

If that doesn't make sense to you younger Farkers, look up Bill Cosby and the Noah's Ark skit and LYFAO. One of the greatest and cleanest comedy presentations you will ever see.


Ricky Gervais on the same subject
 
2012-12-15 05:02:38 PM

Granny_Panties: Keizer_Ghidorah: God promised not to flood Earth again, so what's the point of building another Ark?

THIS is the Ark we SHOULD be building:

[www.transformerscustomtoys.com image 400x295]

How can you tell the difference between an Atheist and a Christian?

Chances are, the Atheist actually read the Bible.


Everlasting does'nt have to mean forever. It's like the 7 days are billions of years thing.
 
2012-12-15 05:05:46 PM

iheartscotch: Now he just has to get two of everything.


Wrong, he needs 7 of the clean animals.
 
2012-12-15 05:07:08 PM
Genesis 7:2

From all the clean animals, take seven and seven, the male and the female. Yet truly, from animals that are unclean, take two and two, the male and the female.

Not a surprise why religion is such a mess. People can't even get the number of (professed) animals correct.
 
2012-12-15 05:08:24 PM

Happy Hours: maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.

What about the Millennium Falcon


What about a firefly-class spaceship?


Oh, wait...
 
2012-12-15 05:14:32 PM
Among the many questionable premises in the Cusack movie, I want to know why any of the people with the ships actually saved any space for the billionaires. I get taking their money, but I'd just leave them hanging to make space for skilled, educated females under 35.
 
2012-12-15 05:21:47 PM
Repeat

Link
 
2012-12-15 05:31:37 PM

iheartscotch: Kali-Yuga: iheartscotch: I got 2 of everything; huzza! Crap! A frog just ate one of the flies.

No, you don't understand, until after the flood, all the animals and insects on earth were vegetarians, something you can plainly see since all gods creatures were designed with an herbivore's teeth and jaw structure.

Except, fossils are the work of the devil; because they show the earth is more than 6000 years old. ;)


I thought they were put there by God to test our faith
 
2012-12-15 05:53:20 PM

GBB: Right!


...What's an arK?!
 
2012-12-15 05:54:05 PM

Mega Steve: I thought they were put there by God to test our faith


controversy.wearscience.com
 
2012-12-15 06:07:10 PM

scottapeshot: What is a cubit?



davidlavallee.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-15 06:15:08 PM

Mega Steve: maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.

The difference being that making a full-sized replica of the Enterprise would be awesome.


Yes, it would have been amazing
 
2012-12-15 06:19:06 PM

Lsherm: Whatever happened to the one the guy was building on the MD/West Virginia border? Did he finish?


I always figured this was an allegory. They were "building" the ark in preparation for the end times or something. You know, like the bridge to the 21st century that politicians used to talk about "building".

It hasn't changed a bit in decades, so if they were actually intending on building a finished ark, they're pretty much useless.
 
2012-12-15 06:42:25 PM
yeah, but did he put one of those ovens his people are world famous for in it?
 
2012-12-15 06:44:11 PM

maggoo: A project to build a life-size replica of Noah's ark makes as much sense as a project to build a life-size replica of the SS Enterprize.


you can build an ark....

you can't build an enterprise. look at it...JUST LOOK AT IT!!!

/nerd rage
 
2012-12-15 06:47:35 PM
what, really? I am the first with a Dutch Rudder mention in the thread?

slackers...
 
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