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(Metronews.ca)   CBC bilingual dog hoax fools many media but not Dog Whisperer, César Milan. Apparently he doesn't talk to a lot of bilingual dogs. Dumbass, follow-up tags collared, sent to the dog house with naughty puppy   (metronews.ca ) divider line
    More: Obvious, dogs, electronic media  
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2988 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 Dec 2012 at 2:54 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-12-15 01:00:29 PM  
Wow, a lot of people don't understand dogs. Their linguistic ability is pretty limited. They key more off on tone and gesture. My English Springer Spaniel knows maybe 5 words, but does understand hand gestures and tone. My Cocker Spaniel is dumb as a box of rocks, but he follows whatever his big cousin does.
 
2012-12-15 02:15:52 PM  
Sounds like a more subtle, Canadian version of the Onion, no doubt aboot it.

Surprising how many people took the bait. If it was true, how could the law be enforced, eh?
 
2012-12-15 02:20:15 PM  
Peter Oldring's LaDouce was hilarious, particularly the part about the Plains of Abraham and Jacques Parizeau. This is some of their finest work. Another exemplary graduate of Loose Moose theatre.
 
2012-12-15 02:20:43 PM  
Onion? It's the Canadian Fox News!

FTA: "This Is That is a current affairs program that doesn't just talk about the issues, it fabricates them," the site says. "Nothing is off limits-politics, business, culture, justice, science, religion-if it is relevant to Canadians." (my emphasis)

So. So much for that debate. The Sun news channel is not there ... yet.
 
2012-12-15 02:32:37 PM  
Here's how they would enforce the Bilingual Dog Law--using the CIA's best disguise man:

Source: http://www.montypython.net/scripts/teddysal.php

Carpenter: (stopping him short) It sure is nice to see you, Mr Salad.

Trapper: I ain't Salad.

Carpenter: What?

Trapper: You want Teddy Salad?

Carpenter: Yeah ... (the man looks around rather furtively, to see if anyone is watching, then takes Carpenter's arm and indicates the dog team) I don't see anyone.

Trapper: The one on the end, on the right. That's Salad.

Carpenter: That's a dog!

Trapper: (confidentially) No only bits of it.

Carpenter: What do you mean?

Trapper: Listen, Teddy Salad is the most brilliant agent the CIA ever had, right?

Carpenter: Right.

Trapper: That's how he made his name (indicates the dog) - disguise!

(They look at the dog in silence for a moment.)

Carpenter: That's incredible!

Trapper: He had to slim down to one and a half pounds to get into that costume. He cut eighteen inches off each arm and over three feet off each leg. The most brilliant surgeon in Europe stuck that tail on.

Carpenter: What about the head?

Trapper: All of the head was removed apart from the eyes and the brain in order to fit into the costume.

Carpenter: That's incredible!

Trapper: D'you want to talk to him?

Carpenter: Yeah, sure.

Trapper: (looking around him again) OK, let's move over to those trees over there... anyone might be watching.

(They pull over to a lone deciduous tree in the middle of the empty tundra wastes. They pull in. The man goes round to the dog and kneels down beside it.)

Trapper: (softly) Mr Salad? ... There's Mr Carpenter to see you.

Carpenter: What does he say?

Trapper: (to Carpenter) Do you have a bone? (Carpenter feels rather helplessly in his pockets) It's all part of the disguise (he produces a bone, which he gives to the dog) OK, Teddy... here's the bone. (the dog tucks into the bone) All right, you've got his trust, now, you can talk to him.

Carpenter: (kneeling rather awkwardly down beside the dog, and speaking confidentially) Sir ... sir ... Mr Salad ... sir, I've come direct from the Commander of Land, Sea and Air Forces ... There's a pretty dangerous situation, sir. Mr Neutron... is missing. (he looks significantly at the dog, but the dog doesn't react) The General says you're the only one who'll know where to find him ... What's he say?

Trapper: He wants to go walkies.

Carpenter: Walkies?

Trapper: Yeah, he's right into it today - d'you mind taking him for walkies?

(He gives the dog to Carpenter on a lead. Carpenter hesitates and then walks off with the dog, bending down occasionally and explaining the situation.)

Voice Over: While Carpenter took the most brilliant agent the CIA ever had for walkies, events in the world's capitals were moving fast!


Mr. Neutron is one of my favourite Monty Python bits. Not Dr. Strangelove, perhaps, but still a great SF parody along with the Blancmange sketch in "Whither Canada?"

I wonder if it was inspired by the Mexican SF movie Neutron the Atomic Superman versus the Death Robots. I have that, with the RiffTrax (MST3K) Video on Demand commentary and I suspect strongly that Neutron (who was a Mexican wrestler, IIRC) was the inspiration of the Mr. Neutron character played with such dead-pan by Graham Chapman. Some of those Mexican SF and horror B-movies are classic. Viva Mexico!
 
2012-12-15 02:50:09 PM  
That's pretty funny.

But it pales in comparison to this hoax
 
2012-12-15 03:07:54 PM  

simplicimus: Wow, a lot of people don't understand dogs. Their linguistic ability is pretty limited. They key more off on tone and gesture. My English Springer Spaniel knows maybe 5 words, but does understand hand gestures and tone. My Cocker Spaniel is dumb as a box of rocks, but he follows whatever his big cousin does.


Maybe you're just speaking to him in the wrong language? Have you tried French with the Cocker Spaniel?
 
2012-12-15 03:19:50 PM  
I just think farkers are afraid of a strong, conservative bilingual dog.
 
2012-12-15 03:24:53 PM  

simplicimus: My Cocker Spaniel is dumb as a box of rocks, but he follows whatever his big cousin does.


My childhood Cocker Spaniel was also as dumb as a bag of hair. They're positively adorable to look at, but man are they stupid, generally speaking. They also have behavior issues due to their immense popularity (poor breeding) in the past. I'm not saying they're all morans - but every single one I've met has been mildly to moderately retarded. Granted, so am I.

Great foot-warmers, though.
 
2012-12-15 03:28:51 PM  
farm1.staticflickr.com

Meanwhile, this cat can ignore you in over a dozen languages.
 
2012-12-15 03:36:35 PM  

CokeBear: simplicimus: Wow, a lot of people don't understand dogs. Their linguistic ability is pretty limited. They key more off on tone and gesture. My English Springer Spaniel knows maybe 5 words, but does understand hand gestures and tone. My Cocker Spaniel is dumb as a box of rocks, but he follows whatever his big cousin does.

Maybe you're just speaking to him in the wrong language? Have you tried French with the Cocker Spaniel?


No, but we did try Spanish and German. Still dumb as a box of rocks. Lovable as all heck, but dumb. The ESS is spooky as heck regarding body language.
 
2012-12-15 03:48:19 PM  
I love "This is That"

Those guys are pure funny. I loved the story about the lake they dyed red for Canada day and then they were trying to dye it back to its original blue... Or the military trading in its vehicles for enviro-friendly bicycles... The people who call in believing it make it that much better. Some people get so angry and upset about some of the most unbelievable stories.
 
2012-12-15 03:51:32 PM  
"How do you get to work?"

"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"


Fact: 87% of Canadians Rollerblade to work.
 
2012-12-15 03:55:04 PM  

mikefinch: "How do you get to work?"

"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"
"Rollerblading!"


Fact: 87% of Canadians Rollerblade to work.


Must be fun in the snow.
 
2012-12-15 04:56:52 PM  
It went viral because, sadly, it's 100% believable.

F*ck Quebec in their stupid french asses. Please leave the f*cking country. Never will I have more disdain and disgust towards an entity.
 
2012-12-15 05:03:06 PM  

Mark Ratner: Sounds like a more subtle, Canadian version of the Onion, no doubt aboot it.

Surprising how many people took the bait. If it was true, how could the law be enforced, eh?


Where in Canada have you ever visited? As someone who's spent his whole life in southern Ontario, I can attest that the accent here is almost identical to your Californian accent. Pretty mucn neutral. Except with words that never enter the minds of joke-masters such as yourself.

For example the word "sorry". Instead of "saw-ry", Canadians say "soe-ry".

I can also tell you that "aboot" makes no sense. The actual accent is pronounced more like "a-boat". Whereas American is more like "a-bowt". I have no idea where this "no doot aboot it" sh*t came from, but it's not funny because it's in no way accurate. Like not even close.

I don't get the whole "HUR CANADIAN ACCENT". Have you ever been to Michigan? Wisconsin? They don't have the letter 'O'. It's been replaced with a soft 'a'. "let me get on my soapbax" or "head to soapbax.cam".
Ever heard someone from Minnesota say Minnesota? Or someone from New Hampshire say New Hampshire? It doesn't even sound like English.

Hey you know what, sorry, you keep telling your hilarious jokes. Everyone thinks they're wicked funny.
 
2012-12-15 05:12:36 PM  

sure haven't: Mark Ratner: Sounds like a more subtle, Canadian version of the Onion, no doubt aboot it.

Surprising how many people took the bait. If it was true, how could the law be enforced, eh?

Where in Canada have you ever visited? As someone who's spent his whole life in southern Ontario, I can attest that the accent here is almost identical to your Californian accent. Pretty mucn neutral. Except with words that never enter the minds of joke-masters such as yourself.

For example the word "sorry". Instead of "saw-ry", Canadians say "soe-ry".

I can also tell you that "aboot" makes no sense. The actual accent is pronounced more like "a-boat". Whereas American is more like "a-bowt". I have no idea where this "no doot aboot it" sh*t came from, but it's not funny because it's in no way accurate. Like not even close.

I don't get the whole "HUR CANADIAN ACCENT". Have you ever been to Michigan? Wisconsin? They don't have the letter 'O'. It's been replaced with a soft 'a'. "let me get on my soapbax" or "head to soapbax.cam".
Ever heard someone from Minnesota say Minnesota? Or someone from New Hampshire say New Hampshire? It doesn't even sound like English.

Hey you know what, sorry, you keep telling your hilarious jokes. Everyone thinks they're wicked funny.


Such hostility and butthurt with you. I actually like Canadians, at least the ones I've met in person. I'm sorry your moose hunt or ice fishing today was fruitless. Relax, and chill out with a 12 pack of Molsen and throw another log on the fire. Wouldn't want you to get cold in your log cabin.
 
2012-12-15 05:28:48 PM  

Mark Ratner: sure haven't: Mark Ratner: Sounds like a more subtle, Canadian version of the Onion, no doubt aboot it.

Surprising how many people took the bait. If it was true, how could the law be enforced, eh?

Where in Canada have you ever visited? As someone who's spent his whole life in southern Ontario, I can attest that the accent here is almost identical to your Californian accent. Pretty mucn neutral. Except with words that never enter the minds of joke-masters such as yourself.

For example the word "sorry". Instead of "saw-ry", Canadians say "soe-ry".

I can also tell you that "aboot" makes no sense. The actual accent is pronounced more like "a-boat". Whereas American is more like "a-bowt". I have no idea where this "no doot aboot it" sh*t came from, but it's not funny because it's in no way accurate. Like not even close.

I don't get the whole "HUR CANADIAN ACCENT". Have you ever been to Michigan? Wisconsin? They don't have the letter 'O'. It's been replaced with a soft 'a'. "let me get on my soapbax" or "head to soapbax.cam".
Ever heard someone from Minnesota say Minnesota? Or someone from New Hampshire say New Hampshire? It doesn't even sound like English.

Hey you know what, sorry, you keep telling your hilarious jokes. Everyone thinks they're wicked funny.

Such hostility and butthurt with you. I actually like Canadians, at least the ones I've met in person. I'm sorry your moose hunt or ice fishing today was fruitless. Relax, and chill out with a 12 pack of Molsen and throw another log on the fire. Wouldn't want you to get cold in your log cabin.



I thought he spend his entire life in Southern Ontario. One of my best friends is from Ontario, and she says aboot, and eh, and in no way sounds like she is from California.

Typical Canadian, "we sound and look like everyone else, but we are different than the rest of the world."

Canada, the worlds hipsters.
 
2012-12-15 05:33:09 PM  
My dog listens better when I tell her to 'sit', or 'leave it' in Russian, but then again, so does my husband.
Huh.
Bad example, I guess.
 
2012-12-15 05:50:38 PM  

Mark Ratner: sure haven't: Mark Ratner: Sounds like a more subtle, Canadian version of the Onion, no doubt aboot it.

Surprising how many people took the bait. If it was true, how could the law be enforced, eh?

Where in Canada have you ever visited? As someone who's spent his whole life in southern Ontario, I can attest that the accent here is almost identical to your Californian accent. Pretty mucn neutral. Except with words that never enter the minds of joke-masters such as yourself.

For example the word "sorry". Instead of "saw-ry", Canadians say "soe-ry".

I can also tell you that "aboot" makes no sense. The actual accent is pronounced more like "a-boat". Whereas American is more like "a-bowt". I have no idea where this "no doot aboot it" sh*t came from, but it's not funny because it's in no way accurate. Like not even close.

I don't get the whole "HUR CANADIAN ACCENT". Have you ever been to Michigan? Wisconsin? They don't have the letter 'O'. It's been replaced with a soft 'a'. "let me get on my soapbax" or "head to soapbax.cam".
Ever heard someone from Minnesota say Minnesota? Or someone from New Hampshire say New Hampshire? It doesn't even sound like English.

Hey you know what, sorry, you keep telling your hilarious jokes. Everyone thinks they're wicked funny.

Such hostility and butthurt with you. I actually like Canadians, at least the ones I've met in person. I'm sorry your moose hunt or ice fishing today was fruitless. Relax, and chill out with a 12 pack of Molsen and throw another log on the fire. Wouldn't want you to get cold in your log cabin.


Be nice. Remember, no NHL; they're testy.
 
2012-12-15 06:15:03 PM  
If it sounds like we say "aboot" then you must pronounce "boot" quite differently than us.
 
2012-12-15 07:01:12 PM  
Everyone knows that dachshunds understand german, poodles understand only french, filthy mutts understand cajun hillbilly talk etc.
 
2012-12-15 07:20:36 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Be nice. Remember, no NHL; they're testy.


I've already experienced this first hand. My general advice, free of charge, is that if any North American hockey fan tries to strike up a conversation with you this year - run.

/you're welcome
 
2012-12-15 07:25:12 PM  

Fano: Everyone knows that dachshunds understand german, poodles understand only french, filthy mutts understand cajun hillbilly talk etc.


This is actually true. My newly adopted mutt doesn't listen to me until I put on my best SE Louisiana accent. However, he does speak bastard French and can recite the occasional poem in Farsi. Not sure where he picked that one up.

/every Dachshund in my neighborhood is an annoying pain in the ass
//cute as all hell though, which is why they get away with being dicks
 
2012-12-15 08:30:08 PM  

theflatline: Typical Canadian, "we sound and look like everyone else, but we are different than the rest of the world."


From my experience your typical Canadian is 75% cool as shiat and 25% too worried people might think he was from the U.S.
 
2012-12-15 08:59:12 PM  
I read somewhere that all police and security dogs (usually German Shepherds) are trained in German and respond to German commands, so when they are sold, their new owners have to learn the German commands to control them. Which is why at first it didn't seem strange to me, given what I've always heard about the folks in Quebec, that French commands would be mandated.
 
2012-12-15 10:31:13 PM  
Pffft. Our kittehs will ignore you in American English, British English, Scots Gaelic, French and German. They do answer to American Electric Can-opener.
 
2012-12-15 10:54:14 PM  
"I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse."

Charles V
 
2012-12-15 11:39:14 PM  

sure haven't: Mark Ratner: Sounds like a more subtle, Canadian version of the Onion, no doubt aboot it.

Surprising how many people took the bait. If it was true, how could the law be enforced, eh?

Where in Canada have you ever visited? As someone who's spent his whole life in southern Ontario, I can attest that the accent here is almost identical to your Californian accent. Pretty mucn neutral. Except with words that never enter the minds of joke-masters such as yourself.

For example the word "sorry". Instead of "saw-ry", Canadians say "soe-ry".

I can also tell you that "aboot" makes no sense. The actual accent is pronounced more like "a-boat". Whereas American is more like "a-bowt". I have no idea where this "no doot aboot it" sh*t came from, but it's not funny because it's in no way accurate. Like not even close.

I don't get the whole "HUR CANADIAN ACCENT". Have you ever been to Michigan? Wisconsin? They don't have the letter 'O'. It's been replaced with a soft 'a'. "let me get on my soapbax" or "head to soapbax.cam".
Ever heard someone from Minnesota say Minnesota? Or someone from New Hampshire say New Hampshire? It doesn't even sound like English.

Hey you know what, sorry, you keep telling your hilarious jokes. Everyone thinks they're wicked funny.


um I know a couple Canadians who say "aboot" or dangerously close to that. And think the 2nd floor is the first floor when a basement is involved. No, ground floor is the first floor, dammit.

Annoying U.S. accents: people from Indiana claim they don't have an accent but then overly pronounce double "t"s in a weird, delicate way like they're nuns. When they say a word like "button", you hear both t's clearly. Kansans say "may-sure" instead of "measure". And Southerners say "pe-in" instead of "pen" so everybody has to phrase it "ink pin" so you know they mean the ink-emitting writing implement. Say PEN goddammit!!! It's not a two syllable word!!!
 
2012-12-16 12:52:49 AM  

ko_kyi: theflatline: Typical Canadian, "we sound and look like everyone else, but we are different than the rest of the world."

From my experience your typical Canadian is 75% cool as shiat and 25% too worried people might think he was from the U.S.


You know, it's difficult to argue with this assertion. It also goes both ways. I've been using my fairly neutral accent to pass as Canadian since 2004. I grew up in the military so I only have a New Orleans accent when I'm drinking excessively. Granted, nobody in pop culture knows what a New Orleans accent actually sounds like, so even if I screw up I can pull off being America's Hat.

/has been accused of being from California, somewhere in the Midwest, and from Miami, despite being white as a ghost
//apparently few people know what being a military brat is like
 
2012-12-16 01:50:44 AM  

Egalitarian: And think the 2nd floor is the first floor when a basement is involved. No, ground floor is the first floor, dammit.


That's not a Canadian thing. Are you sure they're not just a little slow?
 
2012-12-16 02:01:45 AM  

costermonger: Egalitarian: And think the 2nd floor is the first floor when a basement is involved. No, ground floor is the first floor, dammit.

That's not a Canadian thing. Are you sure they're not just a little slow?


Same goes in Europe. The ground floor is the ground floor, the next floor up is the first floor.
 
2012-12-16 02:18:26 AM  

theflatline: One of my best friends is from Ontario, and she says aboot, and eh, and in no way sounds like she is from California.


This video is a weirdly useful example of the SW Ontario accent. I could place the woman as being Canadian by listening to her talk, but I couldn't do the same with either of the men that talk. The degree of accent people have here is quite varied.

If she says "aboot" to your ears, I'd love a link to a pronunciation that sounds normal to you.
 
2012-12-16 02:28:14 AM  

simplicimus: costermonger: Egalitarian: And think the 2nd floor is the first floor when a basement is involved. No, ground floor is the first floor, dammit.

That's not a Canadian thing. Are you sure they're not just a little slow?

Same goes in Europe. The ground floor is the ground floor, the next floor up is the first floor.


Wait, perhaps I misunderstood - we use the American convention for low-rise buildings but lots of high-rises or hotels (especially when no guest/resident rooms are on the ground floor) use the British convention.
 
2012-12-16 02:28:51 AM  

costermonger: theflatline: One of my best friends is from Ontario, and she says aboot, and eh, and in no way sounds like she is from California.

This video is a weirdly useful example of the SW Ontario accent. I could place the woman as being Canadian by listening to her talk, but I couldn't do the same with either of the men that talk. The degree of accent people have here is quite varied.

If she says "aboot" to your ears, I'd love a link to a pronunciation that sounds normal to you.


Variation also exists in the states. When I moved from Queens, NYC, I had to learn to drop the final "r" from idea, amongst dropping certain phrases and learning that sarcasm doesn't work in the south.
 
2012-12-16 02:36:39 AM  

simplicimus: Variation also exists in the states. When I moved from Queens, NYC, I had to learn to drop the final "r" from idea, amongst dropping certain phrases and learning that sarcasm doesn't work in the south.


Oh, massive variation, for sure. I'm just saying that somebody who grew up down the street from me could have the Bob & Doug McKenzie accent, while I don't have much of anything. The accent varies regionally, but not to nearly the extent it does in the US. Outside of say, Newfoundland, I don't think we've got the diverse regional dialect that you guys do either.

/do you say "quarter of five" or "quarter to five" in Queens?
 
2012-12-16 02:43:25 AM  

costermonger: simplicimus: Variation also exists in the states. When I moved from Queens, NYC, I had to learn to drop the final "r" from idea, amongst dropping certain phrases and learning that sarcasm doesn't work in the south.

Oh, massive variation, for sure. I'm just saying that somebody who grew up down the street from me could have the Bob & Doug McKenzie accent, while I don't have much of anything. The accent varies regionally, but not to nearly the extent it does in the US. Outside of say, Newfoundland, I don't think we've got the diverse regional dialect that you guys do either.

/do you say "quarter of five" or "quarter to five" in Queens?


Quarter till five.
 
2012-12-16 04:15:18 AM  

simplicimus: Wow, a lot of people don't understand dogs. Their linguistic ability is pretty limited. They key more off on tone and gesture. My English Springer Spaniel knows maybe 5 words, but does understand hand gestures and tone. My Cocker Spaniel is dumb as a box of rocks, but he follows whatever his big cousin does.


This is why I find it funny that people are always so impressed when they find out my congenitally deaf dog knows "sign language". She does, of course, but most don't realize that their hearing dog is mostly doing the same thing. Body language trumps sound 99.9% of the time for dogs. The only time it's a necessity is when you want to call the dog back when it's not looking at you.
 
2012-12-16 11:58:58 AM  

dickfreckle: ko_kyi: theflatline: Typical Canadian, "we sound and look like everyone else, but we are different than the rest of the world."

From my experience your typical Canadian is 75% cool as shiat and 25% too worried people might think he was from the U.S.

You know, it's difficult to argue with this assertion. It also goes both ways. I've been using my fairly neutral accent to pass as Canadian since 2004. I grew up in the military so I only have a New Orleans accent when I'm drinking excessively. Granted, nobody in pop culture knows what a New Orleans accent actually sounds like, so even if I screw up I can pull off being America's Hat.

/has been accused of being from California, somewhere in the Midwest, and from Miami, despite being white as a ghost
//apparently few people know what being a military brat is like


Same here, my New Orleans accent and calling everyone "baby" comes out when I am in my cups as well.

I get pegged as being from the mid-west as well. I lost any trace of southern,nawlins accent because I lived out of the country so long.

Oddly enough when I speak Spanish in Latin America most people think I am Italian or Portuguese. They can hear my gringo half but I think my south Louisiana accent returns and makes my Spanish a little more lyrical
 
2012-12-16 02:54:51 PM  
I taught one of my dogs to roll over and play dead using the command "roadkill!" Another one will extend its paw to shake at the command "manicure." The last one doesn't understands everything I say, but chooses not to acknowledge anything.
 
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