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(The Onion)   Count on the Onion to get this tragedy exactly farking right (Not safe for work language)   (theonion.com) divider line 322
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18931 clicks; posted to Politics » on 14 Dec 2012 at 6:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



322 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-14 04:54:14 PM
Yes, fark it, all of it.
 
2012-12-14 04:55:34 PM
Damn. Not sure how this will go over in Chinese state media, but it's ringing pretty true right here.
 
2012-12-14 04:59:25 PM
Pretty much. Fark it all.
 
2012-12-14 05:03:09 PM
Yeah.
 
2012-12-14 05:06:05 PM
 
2012-12-14 05:09:56 PM
Terrible goddamn day.
 
2012-12-14 05:10:25 PM
That didn't say f*ck nearly enough.
 
2012-12-14 05:16:14 PM
mmhmm. That about sums it up.
 
2012-12-14 05:17:43 PM
you have my complete agreement, Onion.
 
2012-12-14 05:23:47 PM
I'd say seconded, but I think that's been covered by now.
 
2012-12-14 05:23:55 PM
Exactly how I feel.
 
2012-12-14 05:26:52 PM
Fifthed.

Speaking of fifths....

Goddamit.
 
2012-12-14 05:30:30 PM
Pretty much, yup.
 
2012-12-14 05:39:14 PM
Bravo The Onion. Very nice.
 
2012-12-14 05:56:42 PM
F*ck it. F*ck. It. All.

ff***cccckkkkk
 
2012-12-14 06:01:06 PM
I've been trying to sort my thoughts about this all day.

Thanks Onion... you nailed it again.

/gonna get drunk and ignore the news now... because fark it. fark it all to hell.
 
2012-12-14 06:05:55 PM
Fark the farking farker.

Just... fark.
 
2012-12-14 06:06:20 PM
I'm normally an optimistic chap, but I....just can't manage it today.


So yeah....Fark everything.
 
2012-12-14 06:06:21 PM
This should be "Thread Over" for the subject.

/should
 
2012-12-14 06:07:08 PM
WTF is wrong with some people? Seriously, we all get angry or get a bee in the bonnet sometimes but this just makes no sense. Who could do this to children?
 
2012-12-14 06:12:00 PM
This is exactly correct
 
2012-12-14 06:13:44 PM
I want to know where they bury this asshole so I can shiat and piss all over his grave
 
2012-12-14 06:14:09 PM
Every now and then The Onion sets the satire and parody aside and speaks the truth to issues.
 
2012-12-14 06:14:29 PM
Loved the caption under the grieving people photo.

Right To Own Handheld Device That Shoots Deadly Metal Pellets At High Speed Worth All Of This

Fark it.
 
2012-12-14 06:15:00 PM

thismomentinblackhistory: Damn. Not sure how this will go over in Chinese state media, but it's ringing pretty true right here.


Methinks they're having the same reaction: Chinese man on stabbing spree hurts 22 kids

Hurts. Not kills. Gun control works.
 
2012-12-14 06:16:18 PM
Yeah, once again, the Onion nails it.
 
2012-12-14 06:17:10 PM
Why is this in the derp tab, not the main page?

Modmins?
 
2012-12-14 06:17:30 PM
I mean, honestly, all 315 million Americans confirmed.

Got that part wrong. There is a segment absolutely thrilled with this.
 
2012-12-14 06:18:10 PM
Twenty-thirded
 
2012-12-14 06:19:04 PM
t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-14 06:19:08 PM
Driving the kids home today on my school bus i wanted to tell them to give their parents a hug today when they got home because somedays parents need them more than ever. I just couldn't get the words out without starting to choke up. Thankfully none of the kids knew the story yet. they will soon enough.

I have nothing more to say.
 
2012-12-14 06:19:14 PM
No, I'm not going to give up hope just because some lunatic wanted to get off.
 
2012-12-14 06:19:16 PM

TofuTheAlmighty: thismomentinblackhistory: Damn. Not sure how this will go over in Chinese state media, but it's ringing pretty true right here.

Methinks they're having the same reaction: Chinese man on stabbing spree hurts 22 kids

Hurts. Not kills. Gun control works.


I have some opinions on the subject of firearm regulation, but personally, it doesn't feel to me the right time to raise them. I'm not criticizing you for raising your own opinions, mind you - you have that right. I'm just saying that personally, I don't have the stomach for it today.
 
2012-12-14 06:19:24 PM
One of the Onion's articles post-9/11 was titled (IIRC) "Not knowing what else to do, local woman bakes cake."

I want a cake right about now.

A cake and a cute cat.
 
2012-12-14 06:20:25 PM

BMulligan: TofuTheAlmighty: thismomentinblackhistory: Damn. Not sure how this will go over in Chinese state media, but it's ringing pretty true right here.

Methinks they're having the same reaction: Chinese man on stabbing spree hurts 22 kids

Hurts. Not kills. Gun control works.

I have some opinions on the subject of firearm regulation, but personally, it doesn't feel to me the right time to raise them. I'm not criticizing you for raising your own opinions, mind you - you have that right. I'm just saying that personally, I don't have the stomach for it today.


There's also plenty of threads for this argument on the main page.

This thread is to say fark it. Just fark it all to hell.
 
2012-12-14 06:20:44 PM
Farked in fark.
 
2012-12-14 06:22:28 PM
How many tyrants have been shot on American soil in the 220 years we've had this amendment?
How many innocent or unarmed citizens have been shot in that same time?
What's an acceptable ratio?
 
2012-12-14 06:22:29 PM

BMulligan: TofuTheAlmighty: thismomentinblackhistory: Damn. Not sure how this will go over in Chinese state media, but it's ringing pretty true right here.

Methinks they're having the same reaction: Chinese man on stabbing spree hurts 22 kids

Hurts. Not kills. Gun control works.

I have some opinions on the subject of firearm regulation, but personally, it doesn't feel to me the right time to raise them. I'm not criticizing you for raising your own opinions, mind you - you have that right. I'm just saying that personally, I don't have the stomach for it today.


It's never the right farking time. It's always too soon. It's always politicizing a tragedy. Well, fark that. How many goddamned tragedies do we need before we decide to do something about farking nutcases having access to guns?
 
2012-12-14 06:23:21 PM
Damn straight. I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to live in this farking world.
 
2012-12-14 06:23:32 PM

BMulligan: TofuTheAlmighty: thismomentinblackhistory: Damn. Not sure how this will go over in Chinese state media, but it's ringing pretty true right here.

Methinks they're having the same reaction: Chinese man on stabbing spree hurts 22 kids

Hurts. Not kills. Gun control works.

I have some opinions on the subject of firearm regulation, but personally, it doesn't feel to me the right time to raise them. I'm not criticizing you for raising your own opinions, mind you - you have that right. I'm just saying that personally, I don't have the stomach for it today.


I get that, I do. But it's not like we get months between these events, they happen all the damn time
 
2012-12-14 06:23:56 PM

HotWingConspiracy: I mean, honestly, all 315 million Americans confirmed.

Got that part wrong. There is a segment absolutely thrilled with this.


And those people are who, exactly?
 
2012-12-14 06:23:57 PM

Stile4aly: BMulligan: TofuTheAlmighty: thismomentinblackhistory: Damn. Not sure how this will go over in Chinese state media, but it's ringing pretty true right here.

Methinks they're having the same reaction: Chinese man on stabbing spree hurts 22 kids

Hurts. Not kills. Gun control works.

I have some opinions on the subject of firearm regulation, but personally, it doesn't feel to me the right time to raise them. I'm not criticizing you for raising your own opinions, mind you - you have that right. I'm just saying that personally, I don't have the stomach for it today.

It's never the right farking time. It's always too soon. It's always politicizing a tragedy. Well, fark that. How many goddamned tragedies do we need before we decide to do something about farking nutcases having access to guns?


I think what he's saying is it's a bad time to defend guns. True that.
 
2012-12-14 06:25:33 PM
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-12-14 06:26:46 PM
I had to have a conversation with my 7 year old this afternoon that I wouldn't wish on any of you. That article just nailed how I feel right now.
 
2012-12-14 06:27:19 PM
Report: It's okay to spend rest of day curled up under desk in fetal position.

I think I'll go work for The Onion.
 
2012-12-14 06:27:21 PM

Free Radical: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 454x403]


Ayup.
 
2012-12-14 06:27:36 PM
To those who say "don't take advantage of a national tragedy to talk politics," in keeping with TFA, just let me give a big, hardy FARK YOU. Fark you all to hell. Fark you up the ass with a hot poker stick. Fark you inside and out, fark you six ways 'til Sunday. Now is EXACTLY the time to talk politics, specifically by shaming all of you NRA-jock-sniffing gun nuts.
 
2012-12-14 06:27:48 PM
F*ck all of it is right. This just sucks so terribly. There aren't even words to express my disgust.
 
2012-12-14 06:28:01 PM
To paraphrase Tom Tomorrow:

The gun debate was settled, the 2nd amendment folks won.

The occasional horrific civilian massacre is the just price the rest of us have to pay.

Over, and over, and over, and over........

Fark it.
 
2012-12-14 06:28:15 PM
Can this be nominated for a Pulitzer?
 
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