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(Yahoo)   TLC makes it harder and harder to remember that its name once stood for "The Learning Channel" as it announces a new show called "Best Funeral Ever" -- a reality show about a funeral home offering "theme funerals"   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 68
    More: Stupid, TLC, reality shows, Sister Wives, Oh my, funerals, Golden Gate, themes, dead people  
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675 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 Dec 2012 at 5:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-14 12:21:38 AM
Is this going to be another one of those threads where we complain that our favorite niche channel has turned to lowest common denominator garbage in order to get ratings?
 
2012-12-14 12:35:01 AM
No Viking funerals? I am disappointed.
 
2012-12-14 12:41:05 AM
And we're done.
 
2012-12-14 12:43:07 AM
Wake me when it's my turn.
 
2012-12-14 12:56:42 AM
fusillade762:Is this going to be another one of those threads where we complain that our favorite niche channel has turned to lowest common denominator garbage in order to get ratings?

Yes, because it's pathetic. What does TLC actually stand for at this point? The Loser Channel? SyFy? Bravo used to be Arts and Entertainment. A&E used to be Arts and Entertainment. The Weather Channel plays movies (albeit somewhat weather related).

At least TNN had the sense to rename their network (rather phallically), Spike.

I could get nitpicky but either way the concept of a network is going away; I just think the branding is all wrong and unimaginative for the most part.
 
2012-12-14 01:39:37 AM
It's getting time to pull the plug on cable for me. It's just not worth it any more.
 
2012-12-14 01:42:43 AM
sharetv.org
 
2012-12-14 01:49:54 AM
Theme funerals? Excellent. Get on down to Mourners-R-Us and tell them, I wish to beef up the grief. (^)(nsfw language)
 
2012-12-14 02:35:22 AM

optikeye: It's getting time to pull the plug on cable for me. It's just not worth it any more.


I'm right behind you. The only reason I haven't already is because my wife is obsessive when it comes to college basketball. as soon as I find away around that, the satellite dish is gone.
 
2012-12-14 04:11:54 AM
I want my body to be used for food, tools, and sex toys when I'm gone.

First come, first serve and waste not, want not are the only rules.
 
2012-12-14 05:28:09 AM
Ugh.

The Funeral Industry: Grandpa in life, Grandma in death. And that'll be 10 Grand for the trouble.


/donating to science.
 
2012-12-14 05:43:08 AM
Please God let someone be a Big Lebowski fan and have there loved one cremated and put into a coffee can
 
2012-12-14 06:00:43 AM

sleeper2995: Please God let someone be a Big Lebowski fan and have there loved one cremated and put into a coffee can


SHUT THE F*CK UP, DONNY! :-)
 
2012-12-14 06:11:09 AM
And the dumbification of America continues unabated.
 
2012-12-14 06:16:32 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-14 06:17:16 AM

log_jammin: optikeye: It's getting time to pull the plug on cable for me. It's just not worth it any more.

I'm right behind you. The only reason I haven't already is because my wife is obsessive when it comes to college basketball. as soon as I find away around that, the satellite dish is gone.


The economics of cable is fuct. so many crappy channels with such a small audience, chart the commercials for erectile disfunction vs. actual program. You really are just watching commercials.
 
2012-12-14 06:18:34 AM
I want an "Are You Being Served?" theme funeral. My corpse will play the part of Mr Grace, and you can just wheel me over to the mens table and have Mr Humphries sell me some Y-fronts. But I'll want nothing to so with My Sloacombe and her pussy.
 
2012-12-14 06:20:48 AM

riverwalk barfly: The economics of cable is fuct. so many crappy channels with such a small audience, chart the commercials for erectile disfunction vs. actual program. You really are just watching commercials.


and with satellite, half the chances are just home shopping channels.
 
2012-12-14 06:23:32 AM
Cable is dying. Entertainment is eventually going to be selecting individual shows you want to watch - the evolution of streaming shows - and advertising money will be made with product placement.

www.blueglass.com
 
2012-12-14 06:29:26 AM

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 600x449]


And we're done here.

Have we hit rock bottom yet? Will this finally be the show that is too low for even TLC? Sadly, I doubt it.
 
2012-12-14 06:32:27 AM
TLC has taught me something; don't watch TLC.

I feel better for that learning opportunity.
 
2012-12-14 06:35:06 AM
Does anyone NOT know by this point that TLC no longer stands for "The Learning Channel" like the SAT no longer stands for "Standard Aptitude Test"?

I just always call it "the freak show channel" and have yet to find someone who didn't know what I was talking about.
 
2012-12-14 06:40:07 AM
"Ok, Funeral Guy... I want a Star Wars themed funeral. I want you to dress me up like Leia in the Yavin IV scene at the end of New Hope and then freeze me in carbonite and stage a bar scene from Mos Eisley. What? New Hope is episode 4. No, that isn't the one with the teddy bears. Those were called Ewoks. No, not the bikini scene. Oh, just diaf. What does diaf mean? Gah!"

//WTH is an Aluminum Falcon?
 
2012-12-14 06:55:34 AM
If anyone is interested in my eternal plans, here's my idea. I don't want to be embalmed first off. If I could find a place to get buried in just a pine box with no fancy sealing or vault that would be ideal. Cremation is right out too. I want the worms to eat me and for the birds to eat them. I want the grass and fungus to grow around me. If I get dug up by wild dogs and devoured, that's just fine too. Just don't try and preserve me forever and don't reduce all of my nutritional potential to a pile off ash. I want to be reclaimed.

As for TLC: I know it's dickish to still be complaining about reality TV, but dammit, I am. I haven't had cable in a number of years now. All of the programming I'm interested in is legitimately available online, I don't even have to pirate it. Why would I pay for cable when my internet bill is cheaper and has more entertainment value?
 
2012-12-14 06:56:07 AM
tvmedia.ign.com


hotrink
 
2012-12-14 07:01:45 AM
TLC's new lineup. My personal favorite is "Little People, Tricky Fridge," but "The Divorce Horse" is usually pretty interesting, too.
 
2012-12-14 07:05:53 AM
But but but Privitization ALWAYS increases quality! Private industry always does better than the gub'mnt!
 
2012-12-14 07:06:09 AM
I've learned not to watch TLC.
 
2012-12-14 07:06:50 AM

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 600x449]


And we're done here
 
2012-12-14 07:07:18 AM

Robo Beat: TLC's new lineup. My personal favorite is "Little People, Tricky Fridge," but "The Divorce Horse" is usually pretty interesting, too.


Gah, it ate my Link.
 
2012-12-14 07:08:16 AM

gadian: If anyone is interested in my eternal plans, here's my idea. I don't want to be embalmed first off. If I could find a place to get buried in just a pine box with no fancy sealing or vault that would be ideal. Cremation is right out too. I want the worms to eat me and for the birds to eat them. I want the grass and fungus to grow around me. If I get dug up by wild dogs and devoured, that's just fine too. Just don't try and preserve me forever and don't reduce all of my nutritional potential to a pile off ash. I want to be reclaimed.

As for TLC: I know it's dickish to still be complaining about reality TV, but dammit, I am. I haven't had cable in a number of years now. All of the programming I'm interested in is legitimately available online, I don't even have to pirate it. Why would I pay for cable when my internet bill is cheaper and has more entertainment value?


Netflix, and I use my parents' cable subscription to get HBO and MAX Go, as well as Xfinity streaming. Crackle rounds it out.

/can live without the cable stuff
//I just don't have to
 
2012-12-14 07:10:52 AM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-14 07:12:05 AM

fusillade762: Is this going to be another one of those threads where we complain that our favorite niche channel has turned to lowest common denominator garbage in order to get ratings?


Is this going to be another one of those threads where somebody asks 'Is this going to be another one of those threads where ...'
 
2012-12-14 07:23:41 AM

log_jammin: optikeye: It's getting time to pull the plug on cable for me. It's just not worth it any more.

I'm right behind you. The only reason I haven't already is because my wife is obsessive when it comes to college basketball. as soon as I find away around that, the satellite dish is gone.


I'm so glad I never cared about sports. We gave up cable more than 10 years ago and never missed it. I should figure out how much money we've saved. At this point we never watch antenna tv either except for the morning news and half the time it barely comes in. Netflix is great though.
 
2012-12-14 07:25:31 AM
What happened was YouTube. How many times do you get sent a link to a cool YouTube video about NASA or whatever? A decade ago, the Baumgartner thing would have been on TV. Today, it's on YouTube.

For me, cookery is the same. I can search for a recipe and find clips on Youtube, or printed recipes all over. I don't have to watch a 30 minute show to get 5 minutes of cookery surrounded by 25 minutes of lifestyle TV.
 
2012-12-14 07:28:24 AM
I'll watch if someone does a Tibetan sky burial.
 
2012-12-14 07:29:22 AM

wippit: Cable is dying. Entertainment is eventually going to be selecting individual shows you want to watch - the evolution of streaming shows - and advertising money will be made with product placement.

[www.blueglass.com image 563x374]


Is there anyone in business espousing the idea of "marketing saturation"? Of advertising "numbness"? I'm not going to drink Heineken because James Bond does now. I'm not switching phone carriers--I can't, because all of you assholes have extended contracts with huge penalties, and my current company has a solid network. I'm going to buy the brand that has either earned my loyalty through quality, or by having a reasonable (or negligible difference in) price.

And what the fark is up will all of the car ads during Christmas? Are there really enough pretentious jackasses out there that can afford to buy a car as a surprise?

And there isn't a Sonic within 100 farking miles of here!!!!
 
2012-12-14 07:40:43 AM
born_yesterday:
Are there really enough pretentious jackasses out there that can afford to buy a car as a surprise?

/i>

Yes. And they have more money than you :)
 
2012-12-14 07:41:15 AM

3rdtimearound: fusillade762: Is this going to be another one of those threads where we complain that our favorite niche channel has turned to lowest common denominator garbage in order to get ratings?

Is this going to be another one of those threads where somebody asks 'Is this going to be another one of those threads where ...'


Is this going to be one of those threads where somebody asks about somebody asking "is this going to be one of those threads"?
 
2012-12-14 07:45:07 AM

wippit: Cable is dying. Entertainment is eventually going to be selecting individual shows you want to watch - the evolution of streaming shows - and advertising money will be made with product placement.

[www.blueglass.com image 563x374]


As someone who occasionally watches 4oD I (sadly) cry bullshiat.

It'll be 5-7 30-second unskippable clips, maybe those that pause if you mute the sound.
 
2012-12-14 07:50:15 AM
i124.photobucket.com
You cant tell here but he approves
 
2012-12-14 07:51:23 AM
Will they cover Zoroastrian funerals?
 
2012-12-14 07:53:53 AM

sleeper2995: Please God let someone be a Big Lebowski fan and have there loved one cremated and put into a coffee can


As someone who has her father-in-law's ashes sitting on her mantel, I'm getting a kick..(alas, no coffee can.)

"6 Feet Under" was a phenomenal show. It shouldn't even be mentioned in a thread with the likes of TLC.

Why can't we have an educational channel any more? I hate having to pick and choose channels to see something that doesn't decrease my brain cell count. And don't give me that crap about "don't watch tv". I have a high-stress job, and at night I like to come home and watch tv. I just don't want to be subjected to something that is the equivalent of a mentally challenged Spongebob licking paint off a wall.
 
2012-12-14 08:00:39 AM

azmoviez: I could get nitpicky but either way the concept of a network is going away; I just think the branding is all wrong and unimaginative for the most part.


And yet, off the top of your head, you named several along with their previous incarnations. Looks like it works.
 
2012-12-14 08:02:18 AM
I rather listen to this.

Caitlin Doughty
 
2012-12-14 08:20:01 AM

Enormous-Schwanstucker: born_yesterday:
Are there really enough pretentious jackasses out there that can afford to buy a car as a surprise?

/i>

Yes. And they have more money than you :)


In my neighborhood, growing up, other kids got cars when they graduated highschool.
I got a TI calculator.
 
2012-12-14 08:21:35 AM

fusillade762: Is this going to be another one of those threads where we complain that our favorite niche channel has turned to lowest common denominator garbage in order to get ratings?


Hey it works for headlines on FARK.
 
2012-12-14 08:32:49 AM
I wish I could remember where I stole this from:

I think I'm going to pay a couple of guys in advance to show up to my funeral in generic detective looking suits and resolve a conversation by looking at my corpse, sighing, and saying, "Fine. You have 72 hours to find the son of a biatch who did this. BUT ... you fark this up, and I'll have your badge, you understand me? No more crazy lone-wolf crap. Find him. Or you find another job."
 
2012-12-14 08:50:22 AM

sephjnr: wippit: Cable is dying. Entertainment is eventually going to be selecting individual shows you want to watch - the evolution of streaming shows - and advertising money will be made with product placement.

[www.blueglass.com image 563x374]

As someone who occasionally watches 4oD I (sadly) cry bullshiat.

It'll be 5-7 30-second unskippable clips, maybe those that pause if you mute the sound.


The industry has vastly underestimated what people will pay for an a la carte 100% streaming option.
 
2012-12-14 08:55:19 AM

Andromeda


Does anyone NOT know by this point that TLC no longer stands for "The Learning Channel" like the SAT no longer stands for "Standard Aptitude Test"?


Does anyone NOT know by this point that it was actually the Scholastic Aptitude Test?
 
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