If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Gal)   Professional chef discourages amateur cooks from profession. "Kitchens attract bullies because they've read Kitchen Confidential too many times or they think the Gordon Ramsay they see on TV is the real Gordon Ramsay. It's a joy to weed them out"   (dirtcandynyc.com) divider line 122
    More: Obvious, Kitchen Confidential, Gordon Ramsay, right-wing radio, chefs, cooking schools, Kitchens attract, basic skills, kitchens  
•       •       •

4162 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Dec 2012 at 6:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



122 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-12-13 11:26:36 PM  
Damn, Im glad Im in the health care feild.
/only cooks for family and Mr. Interocitor
//knows how to follow a recepie
///Mr. Interocitor loves whatever I cook, best compliment ever.
 
2012-12-13 11:28:43 PM  
Apparently, I don't know how to spell either. Bad for my profession. :(
 
2012-12-13 11:52:51 PM  

Raktastic: hubiestubert: Raktastic: hubiestubert: As a working chef, yeah he's right....... And a lot of words.

What's your favorite dish to make?

Depends on the joint, and depends on the season, the day and what I haven't made in a while. Right now, I'm itching to do a Saltimboca or Caponata. Well, and I'd like to start a sourdough at the current joint, but they aren't ready to do breads in house yet. Well, and sushi. I love making sushi, but that's usually at home.

I love sushi myself, but for when I want a heart attack on a plate I make a sirloin steak burrito seasoned with chili powder, with refried beans. Placed in a cooking tray with shredded monterey jack and cheddar cheese on top. Bake until melted and serve with sour cream and Salsa. Simple and delicious. Man this thread is making me hungry.

I have never tried Salitmboca in any form (Chicken or Veal) how easy is it to make?


Fairly easy. I like to do interpretations of classic peasant food. I really like to do stews, polenta, posole, BBQ--with all those many traditions from around the globe--and mess around with in house versions of street food even. Comfort and ease bring folks around a table, and while I do enjoy knocking folks' socks off with dishes, I think that simpler is often better. Do something really well, that is simple and straightforward, and you have folks hooked. I judge a place on how they do their caprese. If you can find a way to do a tomato-mozz salad that is either shoddy or over involved, then I don't think that I want to test the rest of the menu too much. There are other dishes that I use as a metric, but despite doing high end food for a good number of years, it's the simpler stuff that is often more difficult to master. My favorite restaurant currently is in Easthampton, and Casey Douglas is a brilliant chef--worked with him for a few years--and the thing that I like about his cuisine is that he isn't afraid to go simple. A roasted beet salad there is fantastic, because it's not over done or overly complicated. You do simple things well, and that attention to detail shows.

Saltimboca is fairly simple. Proscuitto, sage, veal or chicken, some fontina or even Swiss, and a bit of care, and you have something that does literally just pop into your mouth all on its own. You can get decidedly complicated with it, but ideally, it's just a matter of simple prep and execution.
 
2012-12-14 05:12:51 AM  
I love to cook. People tell me I should be a chef or open a restaurant. No. farking. way. I do not have the stamina to be on my feet 12 hours a day in high temperatures and doing anything repetitive. I know there are people who love and I'm glad because I love good food, but I can't imagine doing it. I also think it would be boring to make the same thing over and over.

If I could have a job where I was just creating new dishes, or ideally new desserts, it would be great. But I know how hard it is in a restaurant kitchen and it's not for me. I love Top Chef because I like seeing what they make, but I'm not under any delusions that it's anything like working in a restaurant.
 
2012-12-14 06:59:44 AM  
I worked in higher-end restaurants all through highschool and part of college. Most chefs are as decent as an egomaniacal raging alcoholic in a high-stress situation can be.
 
2012-12-14 07:01:49 AM  

EsteeFlwrPot: Hey again!

/speaking of chefs, I tried to light a candle and ended up lighting 20 donuts on fire.
//Don't ask


Hey! That sounds downright dangerous.

I can't stand sufganiyot anymore. I mean every single street corners are flooded with them.
 
2012-12-14 07:03:22 AM  
Who would have thought that the most realistic screen representation of life in a professional kitchen would be Ratatouille?
 
2012-12-14 07:48:37 AM  
hubiestubert saves the thread!
 
2012-12-14 08:23:13 AM  
Fark has fallen to the trolls.


I left the politics threads for this exact reason, why do you let one farking dipshiat in the entirety of the internet, dominate the conversation.

If I believed everything this douche said, he'd have GOD (yup, spelled the whole thing, in caps even) as his biatch.

He's solved world peace, and cooked the bestest food ever -- He's [redacted]-- super troll.
 
2012-12-14 08:43:29 AM  

monstera: Ha.
I've worked in kitchens and the front of the house. Chances are, I dribbled some Copenhagen in your pasta if you ate at a certain white table cloth in ATL in the late '80s early nineties. Then, I found out I liked the cats who did the grunt work best and switched to delivering produce. Then that got boring, so I decided to make all the "chefs" put whatever produce I had easy access to and could make a killing off on the menu. I practically wrote the menus for the '90s.
You would not know asparagus, a mango, a Papaya, haricot vert, Passion fruit, ramps, radicchio, baby spinach, avocado, arrugula, blah blah blah, if it wasn't for me and my ilk.
So stay the FARK off my lawn you prissy toques!!!
/& what Optimus Primate said


I KNOW WHO YOU ARE NOW!!! INTERNET DETECTIVE!!! DEATH THREATS!!!!
 
2012-12-14 08:45:58 AM  

hubiestubert: As a working chef, yeah he's right. There are a fair amount of douchebags who see TV shows and think, "Yeah, that's what I want to do!" Because they figure that they can let their Inner Diva out.

Cooking competition shows frustrate me, because kitchens are about teamwork. They aren't about being a star, but being a cog. Garde manger, grill, saute, it all comes down to elements coming together. You prep, you share, you do the same dishes over and over again. Yes, you do some specials, you have your favorites, but you are still cutting mirepoix daily. You are making the same sandwiches, the same soups, the same prime rib, over and over again, because that's what professionals do: we are consistent and our clientele demands that consistency.

It is a weird profession. It's part art, it's craft, it's sometimes dangerous, it's sometimes monotonous, it's sometimes goofy, it's driven by folks who handle the repetition in all sorts of ways, often by being goofier and crazier than the idiotic times that you are being crushed by tickets, and can still manage a smile or four, and still flirt with waitstaff. It's not an easy profession. Fire! Sharp! Heavy! All the things that your mother tried to keep you away from when you were a kid, you are expected to play with, and use on a regular basis. You find your moments. For me, it is Zen practice. Mushin is achievable outside of martial arts practice. Mind without mind is a metaphor for the state when you get your groove on. Everything falls into place, you react without conscious effort, your hands know the work, your brain isn't juggling fifty brazillion things, you just do the job, and it all flows without effort.

It is a profession that you have to have some ego about. It's your food. It's your craft. You are selling your work, and folks enjoy it. There is satisfaction there. But you aren't alone. It's not just you, unless you're running a hotdog stand. There are folks all around you, and they are part of the whole thing with ...


/Thank you for a wonderful post.
 
2012-12-14 10:17:59 AM  

Tatsuma:

Wolf_Blitzer: If you don't want to talk about it, then don't talk about it. Having a "small claim to fame" that you refuse to talk about is the equivalent of having a hot canadian girlfriend.

I've had three of those as well


Twelve-year-old Montreal Hasidim girls shipped down to Brooklyn on the weekends don't count.
 
2012-12-14 11:04:13 AM  
great. now i want to eat.

/ worked in a restaurant for a few years. it was exilerating when the team was running well, and challenging when the shiat hit the fan. which was pretty much always.
// quit though. and not interested in going back. it was like the flesh on my hands was constantly dissolving from too many burns and too much bleach, and I always smelt like a grease pit from working the saute station. two showers and I'd still smell like food. 
/// but, food is pretty much the most exciting thing in life, so it was a great time.
 
2012-12-14 01:42:31 PM  
Former chef here, worked in the industry for 10 years after my degree. The chefs treat most of the waitresses like shiat if they aren't competent - even worse if they take the wrong order up in the window.
I did love being a single guy and banging the waitresses though, there were always new ones to enjoy.

I got out of it because I was working when everyone else was playing. Nights, weekends, holidays - you pretty much were gauranteed to work them. Plus the pay SUCKED. Never had to buy food though.
 
2012-12-14 01:51:58 PM  

DaCaptain19:
Show me a "chef" who can make a better burger or steak than I do on my own charcoal grill.


Right here. The fact is I used to cook over 100 of them on a busy night, and seafood too. I could cook a 6 inch steak to perfection just determining it by touch. You might cook a steak on the grill and be happy if it is medium if you wanted medium rare, but if one of mine isn't perfectly medium rare, it is getting sent back.
 
2012-12-14 01:59:16 PM  

BunkyBrewman:

Dedication? More like I've lost my farking mind a long time ago. Something is seriously wrong with me to be in this business for so long. But I'm one of those rare freaks that actually enjoy going to work every day. (most of 'em anyway)


Are you an alcoholic or heavy smoker? It seems to go hand in hand for people in the food industry. I'm so glad I bailed a long time ago.
 
2012-12-14 02:11:39 PM  

Contents Under Pressure: I suspect if you want to be a chef, you need to learn Spanish. South American and Mexican guys work their balls off in kitchens and deserve to be spoken to in their own language, even if it's just a thanks or an attaboy.


We had a Puerto Rican dishwasher cartel at the country club I worked at in the late 80s. Big time coke dealers. Evetually got raided by the DEA.
That was where I learned my first Spanish words - started out with caliente, then degraded to all the swear words.
I used to make mushroom tea on slow nights and take a nice trip.
 
2012-12-14 03:53:22 PM  

I Mash Grains: DaCaptain19:
Show me a "chef" who can make a better burger or steak than I do on my own charcoal grill.

Right here. The fact is I used to cook over 100 of them on a busy night, and seafood too. I could cook a 6 inch steak to perfection just determining it by touch. You might cook a steak on the grill and be happy if it is medium if you wanted medium rare, but if one of mine isn't perfectly medium rare, it is getting sent back.


This is pretty much the issue. In my normal night I do 200-300 plates a night. Multiply that over 300+ nights a year, over 20 years, and you get a lot more practical experience than hobby cooks.

That's the difference between professionals and interested enthusiasts. Sheer numbers and the experience that comes with hundreds of thousands of repetitions. Plain and simple. It's the practice that counts.
 
2012-12-14 06:01:25 PM  

hubiestubert: I Mash Grains: DaCaptain19:
Show me a "chef" who can make a better burger or steak than I do on my own charcoal grill.

Right here. The fact is I used to cook over 100 of them on a busy night, and seafood too. I could cook a 6 inch steak to perfection just determining it by touch. You might cook a steak on the grill and be happy if it is medium if you wanted medium rare, but if one of mine isn't perfectly medium rare, it is getting sent back.

This is pretty much the issue. In my normal night I do 200-300 plates a night. Multiply that over 300+ nights a year, over 20 years, and you get a lot more practical experience than hobby cooks.

That's the difference between professionals and interested enthusiasts. Sheer numbers and the experience that comes with hundreds of thousands of repetitions. Plain and simple. It's the practice that counts.


And yet people shiat all over line cooks.

Having waited tables for a decade I can assure everyone here that my line cooks could do a damn fine job cooking and creating their own dishes.
 
2012-12-15 05:02:43 AM  
Tatsuma:

I don't claim to be an amazing chef (though to be fair, I actually have a small claim to fame I will not discuss) and I have been out of the industry for about 3 years now, and most likely will never get back in, but I'd say more than a decade of experience entitles me to discuss this.

1. Not an amazing chef (tries to be modest)
2. "Small" claim to fame "in USA" (lives abroad)
3. Actually Arrogant but polite (Expert in field)
4. Protects privacy (Japanese)

Tutsama-san's secret identity as... The Chairman! ... Revealed on Drew Curtis' fark.com
 
2012-12-15 09:20:31 AM  
I went to a 2nd tier cooking school and have a small claim to fame, but I left the industry 3 years ago. It's like a drug man. Straight Up!

a1103.gc.akamai.net
 
2012-12-15 07:45:17 PM  

Flappyhead: EsteeFlwrPot: machodonkeywrestler: Wolf_Blitzer: Tatsuma: nothing like showing up on the food network, and I would rather not discuss this as that would make me pretty easy to identify for any internet detective out there, and considering the amount of hate mail/death threats I've had over the years, I am a bit sensitive about personal info making it out there on the web

If you don't want to talk about it, then don't talk about it. Having a "small claim to fame" that you refuse to talk about is the equivalent of having a hot canadian girlfriend.

Really? 2002 and you don't know why he wouldn't want to let people know who he is?

I know who he is

[whitethreads.files.wordpress.com image 400x373]

Is he Batman?


25.media.tumblr.com
 
Displayed 22 of 122 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report