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(Yahoo)   Nature's cruel Catch-22: The hotter a girl looks and sounds to you, the more likely you are to get her pregnant if your fark her   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 70
    More: Interesting, sexual desire, larynx, hormonal contraceptives, converts, acoustics, reproductive success  
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6194 clicks; posted to Geek » on 13 Dec 2012 at 2:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-13 11:00:15 AM
That's why I always bedded the ugly ones.

/not really
 
2012-12-13 11:10:55 AM
Thank heavens for my pregnancy fetish then.
 
2012-12-13 11:23:38 AM
Baby are your ovulating? Cause I want to insemenate you...
 
2012-12-13 11:35:44 AM
FTFA: Past studies have also shown men find fertile ladies' dance moves more attractive, as well as her voice and smell, with one well-known 2007 study showing erotic dancers brought in better tips during the fertile phase of their cycle.

i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-13 11:38:57 AM
So if you're trying to have kids and it's not working, it's because your husband doesn't find you attractive. Maybe you should go to the gym more.

I'm so evil.
 
2012-12-13 11:49:56 AM

Lando Lincoln: So if you're trying to have kids and it's not working, it's because your husband doesn't find you attractive. Maybe you should go to the gym more.

I'm so evil.


Lets go the other direction.
 
So if you're trying to have kids and it's not working, it's because your husband doesn't find you attractive. Maybe you should stop showering when your vag is gooey. 
 
2012-12-13 11:53:07 AM
Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.
 
2012-12-13 11:58:20 AM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.



The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.
 
2012-12-13 12:06:37 PM

Somacandra: FTFA: Past studies have also shown men find fertile ladies' dance moves more attractive, as well as her voice and smell, with one well-known 2007 study showing erotic dancers brought in better tips during the fertile phase of their cycle.

[i.imgur.com image 630x578]


The video of that day is awesome. The President is such a farking dork.
 
2012-12-13 12:23:01 PM

James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.


That's why the ONLY 100% reliable method of Birth control is to tie the woman up or otherwise and beat and manhandle her, so he r body will think it's a legitmate rape and shut things down
 
2012-12-13 12:23:47 PM

James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.


Ha! Ha! Jokes on them... I'm done in one!
 
2012-12-13 01:04:12 PM
Girls who will actually have sex with you look more attractive, too
 
2012-12-13 02:53:01 PM
So if I drink beer it makes the broads more fertile? Is there anything this miracle elixir can't do?
 
2012-12-13 02:55:28 PM
Nature's cruel Catch-22: The hotter a girl looks and sounds to you, the more likely you are to get her pregnant if your fark her she will want nothing to do with you
 
2012-12-13 02:55:49 PM
So....if you secretly wanted it all along then she will legitimately get pregnant?
 
2012-12-13 02:56:12 PM
Not if they take it in the back door, subby.
 
2012-12-13 03:04:16 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: Nature's cruel Catch-22: The hotter a girl looks and sounds to you, the more likely you are to get her pregnant if your fark her she will want nothing to do with you


There's the rub.
 
2012-12-13 03:04:25 PM

James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.


You should stop trying to fark the Alien Queen.
 
2012-12-13 03:12:34 PM
As someone in his 30s who is actually trying to have a baby, the headline makes exactly zero sense.

That said -- we live in a time where there are a bazillion different forms of birth control, from barrier to hormonal to chemical methods plus readily available abortion and easy adoption options (we're a country with such a demand for babies to adopt that people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars to adopt them from other countries). If you don't want a baby, it's rather trivially easy NOT to have one.
 
2012-12-13 03:14:22 PM

mysticcat: Girls who will actually have sex with you look more attractive, too


Lies!

I'm attracted to plenty of women. None of 'em will have sex with me.
 
2012-12-13 03:15:56 PM

tricycleracer: Pants full of macaroni!!: Nature's cruel Catch-22: The hotter a girl looks and sounds to you, the more likely you are to get her pregnant if your fark her she will want nothing to do with you

There's the rub.


golf clap
 
2012-12-13 03:15:57 PM
Note the limited number of pregnancies your mom got despite all the action she gets on Fark.
 
2012-12-13 03:17:23 PM

James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.


Why did that remind me of the Alien facehugger?
 
2012-12-13 03:20:50 PM
Here comes the me.
 
2012-12-13 03:20:51 PM

meanmutton: As someone in his 30s who is actually trying to have a baby, the headline makes exactly zero sense.

That said -- we live in a time where there are a bazillion different forms of birth control, from barrier to hormonal to chemical methods plus readily available abortion and easy adoption options (we're a country with such a demand for babies to adopt that people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars to adopt them from other countries). If you don't want a baby, it's rather trivially easy NOT to have one.


the issue is two fold - the ignorant face barriers to education. the educated face farked up emotions and personality changes when on birth control. so you have one group that doesn't use it because they don't know any better and one group that would use it but hates how it makes you feel.

personally, I despise the woman that my wife becomes when she is on the pill. she is a totally different person and very much not the person I fell in love with.

birth control is great, but the hormone stuff creates people that are just not themselves.

and can we all agree that condoms suck? I would rather just jerk it.
 
2012-12-13 03:21:27 PM

Arkanaut: James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.

You should stop trying to fark the Alien Queen.



Don't tell me who to love.
 
2012-12-13 03:22:32 PM

frepnog: meanmutton: As someone in his 30s who is actually trying to have a baby, the headline makes exactly zero sense.

That said -- we live in a time where there are a bazillion different forms of birth control, from barrier to hormonal to chemical methods plus readily available abortion and easy adoption options (we're a country with such a demand for babies to adopt that people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars to adopt them from other countries). If you don't want a baby, it's rather trivially easy NOT to have one.

the issue is two fold - the ignorant face barriers to education. the educated face farked up emotions and personality changes when on birth control. so you have one group that doesn't use it because they don't know any better and one group that would use it but hates how it makes you feel.

personally, I despise the woman that my wife becomes when she is on the pill. she is a totally different person and very much not the person I fell in love with.

birth control is great, but the hormone stuff creates people that are just not themselves.

and can we all agree that condoms suck? I would rather just jerk it.


Just put it in her pooper.
 
2012-12-13 03:24:30 PM

Magorn: James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.

That's why the ONLY 100% reliable method of Birth control is to tie the woman up or otherwise and beat and manhandle her, so he r body will think it's a legitmate rape and shut things down


Well shiat. All this time and I never realized that a woman's body doesn't recognize chloroform rape as legitimate rape. Damn, wonder if I have any other kids out there...
 
2012-12-13 03:25:27 PM
IF...   
 
2012-12-13 03:29:03 PM
If my WHAT farks her subby!? I need to know!

/ how is babby formed
 
2012-12-13 03:29:04 PM

frepnog: meanmutton: As someone in his 30s who is actually trying to have a baby, the headline makes exactly zero sense.

That said -- we live in a time where there are a bazillion different forms of birth control, from barrier to hormonal to chemical methods plus readily available abortion and easy adoption options (we're a country with such a demand for babies to adopt that people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars to adopt them from other countries). If you don't want a baby, it's rather trivially easy NOT to have one.

the issue is two fold - the ignorant face barriers to education. the educated face farked up emotions and personality changes when on birth control. so you have one group that doesn't use it because they don't know any better and one group that would use it but hates how it makes you feel.

personally, I despise the woman that my wife becomes when she is on the pill. she is a totally different person and very much not the person I fell in love with.

birth control is great, but the hormone stuff creates people that are just not themselves.

and can we all agree that condoms suck? I would rather just jerk it.


There are plenty of other options out there besides condoms and hormonal birth control. IUDs in particular, which are 100% covered by your health insurance.
 
2012-12-13 03:31:20 PM

Marine1: Not if they take it in the back door, subby.


but that causes pregnancy also...

Where do you think Lawyers and tv anchors come from?
 
2012-12-13 03:33:33 PM
Wait, that didn't come out right...
 
2012-12-13 03:39:44 PM
The female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
 
2012-12-13 03:49:35 PM

Magorn: James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.

That's why the ONLY 100% reliable method of Birth control is to tie the woman up or otherwise and beat and manhandle her, so he r body will think it's a legitmate rape and shut things down


100% correct.


/Trust me.
//I've studied it out!
 
2012-12-13 03:50:17 PM
Wow. I thought that p=1 that this thread would turn into a series of pictures captioned "I'd knock her up just by looking at her" and the like. I'm not making a special request or anything. I was just certain that would have already happened.
 
2012-12-13 03:50:54 PM

Smeggy Smurf: So if I drink beer it makes the broads more fertile? Is there anything this miracle elixir can't do?


These are the ailments that Nigel West Dickens claims his Elixir will cure:
Cures:

Rheumatism
Lumbago
Acute, Chronic, Sciatic, Neurologic and Inflammatory Pain
Headaches
Neuralgia
Earache
Toothaches
Backaches
Swellings
Sprains
Sore Chest
Throat Swelling
Contracted Chords
Contracted Muscles
Anxiety
Ravaged Nerves
Stiff Joints
Wrenches
Dislocations
Cuts
Bruises
Malaria
Undead Plague
Also Provides:
Vitality
Vigor
Superhuman Strength
Superhuman Sight
Superhuman Accuracy
Ability to chew through steel
Flying
Turning a man into a woman
Immortality
 
2012-12-13 03:54:38 PM
What if I have terrible judgement? What then?
 
2012-12-13 03:55:42 PM
I would guess that strippers get better tips while ovulating because they get into it more and actually want sex, they're not just pretending... Or at least not as much as usual.
 
2012-12-13 04:00:02 PM
That's why I only engage in grudge farks.
 
2012-12-13 04:02:47 PM
It's a double-edged sword. I know two guys who's greatest accomplishments were knocking up girls way out of their league.

They're trapped now, ha ha!
 
2012-12-13 04:04:50 PM
Fark her where? There are 2 other holes...3 if you believe it's there.
 
2012-12-13 04:19:59 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Fark her where? There are 2 other holes...3 if you believe it's there.


She told me she'd keep an eye out for me...
 
2012-12-13 04:33:34 PM
It is my understanding that hot chicks have mouths and buttholes.
 
2012-12-13 04:38:49 PM

you have pee hands: What if I have terrible judgement? What then?


Depends on what you're poorly judging...

If you are poorly judging one's attractiveness, you will have ugly babies.

/I'm kidding. I've seen some great looking kids come out of not-so-great looking parents!
 
2012-12-13 04:40:05 PM

Satanic_Hamster: It is my understanding that hot chicks have mouths and buttholes.


So do men, if you want to put it that way.

/NTTAWWT
//I like slashies!
 
2012-12-13 04:41:13 PM

milsorgen: Smeggy Smurf: So if I drink beer it makes the broads more fertile? Is there anything this miracle elixir can't do?

These are the ailments that Nigel West Dickens claims his Elixir will cure:
Cures:
snip
Immortality


Well shucks I dont need no elixor to cure your immortality.... now this might sting a bit.
 
2012-12-13 05:21:08 PM
good
breed out the ugly ones
 
2012-12-13 05:38:40 PM
This study is a lie. If it was true this woman would never be non-preggers.

img822.imageshack.us

I refuse to believe that her husband is doing her just to get her to stop nagging.
 
2012-12-13 05:52:38 PM
Does subby mean "hot" hot, or "Daily Mail" hot?
 
2012-12-13 05:55:29 PM
By that metric, I must be sterile. Awesome.
 
2012-12-13 08:40:55 PM

James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.


Vaginas ovulate now? o.O
 
2012-12-13 08:43:53 PM
FALSE: exhibit A

i291.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 09:27:12 PM
What if you are a lesbian?
 
2012-12-13 09:31:12 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Thank heavens for my pregnancy fetish then.


so much win
 
2012-12-13 09:32:32 PM
Subby: How is that Catch-22 ?
 
2012-12-13 09:53:37 PM

mcmnky: Subby: How is that Catch-22 ?


You sound fertile.
 
2012-12-13 10:22:03 PM

James!: The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.


Acid? I thought there was a pussy troll...

 
2012-12-13 11:14:30 PM
Do narcissists have the ability to asexually reproduce?
 
2012-12-13 11:15:57 PM
uhhh, i'm pretty sure the more attractive and hot a girl appears to me, the LESS likely it is that I'm going to get her pregnant.
 
2012-12-14 03:25:22 AM
Extremely disappointed in this thread. 60 posts and no pics of fertile babes? Really?

You're slipping, people.
 
2012-12-14 04:27:53 AM

James!: Arkanaut: James!: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: Too bad condoms or vasectomies were never invented.


The acid in an ovulating vagina will burn through a condom in 2 seconds. It's science.

You should stop trying to fark the Alien Queen.


Don't tell me who to love.


For the record, my keyboard costs about $35. I accept Paypal.
 
2012-12-14 09:01:18 AM

frepnog: meanmutton: As someone in his 30s who is actually trying to have a baby, the headline makes exactly zero sense.

That said -- we live in a time where there are a bazillion different forms of birth control, from barrier to hormonal to chemical methods plus readily available abortion and easy adoption options (we're a country with such a demand for babies to adopt that people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars to adopt them from other countries). If you don't want a baby, it's rather trivially easy NOT to have one.

the issue is two fold - the ignorant face barriers to education. the educated face farked up emotions and personality changes when on birth control. so you have one group that doesn't use it because they don't know any better and one group that would use it but hates how it makes you feel.

personally, I despise the woman that my wife becomes when she is on the pill. she is a totally different person and very much not the person I fell in love with.

birth control is great, but the hormone stuff creates people that are just not themselves.

and can we all agree that condoms suck? I would rather just jerk it.


Maybe when she is on the pill it makes her realise who she married and the waves of disgust coming from her is what turns you off.


/I keed.
 
2012-12-14 10:03:25 AM

grokca: frepnog: meanmutton: As someone in his 30s who is actually trying to have a baby, the headline makes exactly zero sense.

That said -- we live in a time where there are a bazillion different forms of birth control, from barrier to hormonal to chemical methods plus readily available abortion and easy adoption options (we're a country with such a demand for babies to adopt that people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars to adopt them from other countries). If you don't want a baby, it's rather trivially easy NOT to have one.

the issue is two fold - the ignorant face barriers to education. the educated face farked up emotions and personality changes when on birth control. so you have one group that doesn't use it because they don't know any better and one group that would use it but hates how it makes you feel.

personally, I despise the woman that my wife becomes when she is on the pill. she is a totally different person and very much not the person I fell in love with.

birth control is great, but the hormone stuff creates people that are just not themselves.

and can we all agree that condoms suck? I would rather just jerk it.

Maybe when she is on the pill it makes her realise who she married and the waves of disgust coming from her is what turns you off.


/I keed.


Studies have found that women tend to find (for lack of better words) not the best partners when they're on birth control. And it can fark with moods etc.

/Never dated anyone while they were on the pill
//Always made sure I was safe
///Now engaged and snipped
////AWESOME!
 
2012-12-14 10:31:21 AM

Legios: grokca: frepnog: meanmutton: As someone in his 30s who is actually trying to have a baby, the headline makes exactly zero sense.

That said -- we live in a time where there are a bazillion different forms of birth control, from barrier to hormonal to chemical methods plus readily available abortion and easy adoption options (we're a country with such a demand for babies to adopt that people spend years and tens of thousands of dollars to adopt them from other countries). If you don't want a baby, it's rather trivially easy NOT to have one.

the issue is two fold - the ignorant face barriers to education. the educated face farked up emotions and personality changes when on birth control. so you have one group that doesn't use it because they don't know any better and one group that would use it but hates how it makes you feel.

personally, I despise the woman that my wife becomes when she is on the pill. she is a totally different person and very much not the person I fell in love with.

birth control is great, but the hormone stuff creates people that are just not themselves.

and can we all agree that condoms suck? I would rather just jerk it.

Maybe when she is on the pill it makes her realise who she married and the waves of disgust coming from her is what turns you off.


/I keed.

Studies have found that women tend to find (for lack of better words) not the best partners when they're on birth control. And it can fark with moods etc.

/Never dated anyone while they were on the pill
//Always made sure I was safe
///Now engaged and snipped
////AWESOME!


i met my wife when she was not on the pill. she started taking it like a year after we met to help regulate her periods.

it changed her personality, it killed her sex drive, she was like a completely different person.

i kindly asked her to throw those motherfarkers away.
 
2012-12-14 12:51:59 PM

frepnog: Legios:

Studies have found that women tend to find (for lack of better words) not the best partners when they're on birth control. And it can fark with moods etc.

/Never dated anyone while they were on the pill
//Always made sure I was safe
///Now engaged and snipped
////AWESOME!

i met my wife when she was not on the pill. she started taking it like a year after we met to help regulate her periods.

it changed her personality, it killed her sex drive, she was like a completely different person.

i kindly asked her to throw those motherfarkers away.


Yeah, my missus started them about 6 months ago to help with the issues she had with her period (crippling pain etc) and ended up an angry, psycho biatch. (She'd admit that)

/still loved her
//she stopped thank Christ...
 
2012-12-14 01:40:00 PM
........aaaaaaanddd

Kate Beckinsale for the Win.

cdn04.cdn.justjared.com



Somebody said Anne Hathaway is superior sample of Femaleness...... I say

cdn.teenhollywood.com



you must really like the lopsided clowngirl look.
 
2012-12-14 03:43:39 PM
No surprise from the evolutionary point of view.

Good looks (which mean symmetrical, average looks) are a sign of genetic quality. The uglier you are, the more defective genes you carry and thus the lower your fertility and fitness are. Good-looking people are advertising their quality as prospective mates (unless the good looks are all trickery--a lot of the religious opposition to make-up and wigs, for example, was argued on the basis of false advertising--older women made themselves look younger--thus falsifying their fitness for breeding, while the fugly made themselves look more attractive, thus falsely advertising the quality of offspring you would be getting with them as mates).

America's obsession with teeth-whitening, straightening, cosmetic surgery, botox, etc., is basically a consequence of an obsession with salesmanship (or saleswomanship) and thus with misleading advertising. Like the shop floorwalker in the old English cartoon put it, "It don't pay you to sell the customer what they want, I pay you to sell them the goods I have."

But this salesmanship, in evolutionary terms, is a type of advertising that existed long before humans. It is "sexual advertising of fitness and fertility". Even animals do this, and they also cheat if possible.

Ironically, this might mean that women (and men) can use attractiveness as a warning in the same way poisonous animals are brightly coloured and richly patterned. Beauty can drive away the beast who does NOT want a fertile mate.
 
2012-12-14 04:21:01 PM

dragonchild: Note the limited number of pregnancies your mom got despite all the action she gets on Fark.


Yeah but she's butt ugly
 
2012-12-14 04:24:33 PM

Satanic_Hamster: It is my understanding that hot chicks have mouths and buttholes.


well said sir, well said.
 
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