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(CNN)   NASA: *sigh* No, idiots, the world is not ending   (lightyears.blogs.cnn.com) divider line 36
    More: Obvious, Language interpretation, Nibiru  
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10768 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2012 at 9:33 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-13 09:30:38 AM  
6 votes:
NASA should say, "frankly we don't know if the world is going to end or not. But if you think it might, it's probably wise to off yourself now and beat the rush"
2012-12-13 09:59:54 AM  
4 votes:

occamswrist: And if the world doesn't end on the 21st, I have a calendar that shows Dec 31, 2012 as the last day so maybe the world will end that day instead.


I have a day-to-day flip calendar. So every day is like the end of the world for me. How can I be sure the rest of the days after today aren't blank? I'm afraid to look.
2012-12-13 09:48:37 AM  
3 votes:
Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
2012-12-13 09:35:35 AM  
3 votes:

nekom: hahaha oh my, that site is still up? Was it 2003 they predicted the pole shift? Trouble times indeed. I wonder what would happen if she had Time Cube guy's baby.


Had a baby? Please. If Nancy Lieder's vagina had ever been touched by anything other than the soothing, sandpapery caress of a cat's tongue, there would be no ZetaTalk website.
2012-12-13 11:24:50 AM  
2 votes:
www.virginmedia.com

"I wish it would."
2012-12-13 10:43:44 AM  
2 votes:

divgradcurl: dittybopper: vygramul: I look forward to the awkward news conference when they announce they found the asteroid that's going to hit us.

Ellie?

somebody get morgan freeman on the phone!!! we'll need his calming voice in the ensuing panic.


Titty sprinkles.
2012-12-13 10:34:53 AM  
2 votes:
For those who think the world will end on December 21, 2012:

I want to make contract with you that states on December 22, 12:01 AM, EST, all of your cash, property and other assets shall pass to me.

Email in profile.
2012-12-13 09:52:47 AM  
2 votes:
i1151.photobucket.com
Dad, NASA called you an idiot.

What? You're going to believe a bunch of lab-coat squints over a carved rock from an extinct civilization?
2012-12-13 09:49:59 AM  
2 votes:

Rev. Skarekroe: starsrift: The sun will end long before the Earth does, barring a random massive meteor strike that shreds the planet.

Won't the sun consume the earth when it goes red giant?


That's why I'm building a rocket to send my only son to a safer planet with a younger sun.
2012-12-13 09:38:03 AM  
2 votes:
Pfft. Most people have never even seen the real calendar, the secret one.
2012-12-13 09:37:01 AM  
2 votes:
Damn. I guess I'll have to wrap presents then.
2012-12-13 09:31:25 AM  
2 votes:
Of course they'd say that. They don't want us to panic.  It's just like how the Nazis told their prisoners that they were about to get a shower.
 
 
/Did he just bring Hitler into this?
2012-12-13 12:54:40 PM  
1 votes:

Occam's Taser: I'm not worried. I have a plan.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 648x364]


I have several plans. The first eight didn't work out, but I'm pinning my hopes on this one...
upload.wikimedia.org
2012-12-13 11:30:22 AM  
1 votes:
dailygrindhouse.com
2012-12-13 11:20:56 AM  
1 votes:
Should I put a paper bag over my head?
2012-12-13 11:13:26 AM  
1 votes:

vodka: This is the same NASA that believes in Global Warming?


Yes. Global Climate Change is the myth, but the end of the world next week is the truth.
2012-12-13 11:06:50 AM  
1 votes:
What gets me is that Kennedy himself said that the Cuban Missile Crisis had about a 50/50 chance of going full-blown Armageddon (so I've heard), and I've seen a huge climate change in the Twin Cities over the last 30 years, not to mention the Microsoft/Halliburton/Wackenhut/Facebook Borg putting its tentacles everywhere. So what are people worrying about? Ten-headed creatures with swords for tongues singing "Holiest of holies" when blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Marlboro-smokin' Jesus comes swooping down from the sky on a dragon, yeehah!, to smite all them gay-marrying pothead atheists who think religious people are nuts. No, it's not the world's nuclear arsenal we have to worry about, but the Four Horsemen playing polo with peoples' skulls while the Ned Flanderses of the world sprout wings and flit off. But I digress...
2012-12-13 10:45:29 AM  
1 votes:
I'm really disappointed that none of you Farkers figured it out already. As a member of the only One True Religion*, I know for certain that the world ends on July 5th, 1998 at 7:00 AM when the Xist spaceships arrive to rupture all of us Subgenii away from the Earth moments before all Hell breaks loose and hordes of zombie vampire mutant hipster Pinks take over the world. You might think that 1998 was maybe 14 years ago or something, but you're wrong, buddy. That's 1998 on the REAL super-secret calendar, not the screwed-up Conspiracy calendar in common use today. The world hasn't ended yet; ergo, it can't possibly be 1998 yet. When the world ends, it WILL be July 5th, 1998 and I'll be laughing like a hysterical fool at you Normals when I'm flying off to the Planet of the Scuba Sex Goddesses.

*Church of the Subgenius, praise "BoB"!
2012-12-13 10:31:21 AM  
1 votes:

vygramul: I look forward to the awkward news conference when they announce they found the asteroid that's going to hit us.


Ellie?
2012-12-13 10:30:41 AM  
1 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Then explain to me why I saw Buzz Aldrin with a whole CART full of Apocalypse Chow at Sam's Club yesterday!


You misread the label. He was buying canned alpaca lips, a gourmet delicacy.
2012-12-13 10:28:23 AM  
1 votes:

Swoop1809: One of my coworkers said his wife believes the world is going to end on the 21st. He said she's been buying up canned food and has 50 gallon drums of water in the basement. She thinks everything is going to break down and everyone will be put in death camps or something. His words were "I am living with a nut case, but she has a gun now so I don't say anything"

She is also a cat rescuer so they have 20 cats. I have no idea how he puts up with her


He's probably hoping she's right.
2012-12-13 10:27:25 AM  
1 votes:
Then explain to me why I saw Buzz Aldrin with a whole CART full of Apocalypse Chow at Sam's Club yesterday!
2012-12-13 10:24:24 AM  
1 votes:
I look forward to the awkward news conference when they announce they found the asteroid that's going to hit us.
2012-12-13 10:23:22 AM  
1 votes:

tommyl66: Diogenes: Reminds me of my time traveling back and forth to DC...

You were time traveling to DC and never killed off Nixon or warned Lincoln not to go to the play? Thanks for nothin!


Dude, Temporal Prime Directive.
2012-12-13 10:18:51 AM  
1 votes:
One of my coworkers said his wife believes the world is going to end on the 21st. He said she's been buying up canned food and has 50 gallon drums of water in the basement. She thinks everything is going to break down and everyone will be put in death camps or something. His words were "I am living with a nut case, but she has a gun now so I don't say anything"

She is also a cat rescuer so they have 20 cats. I have no idea how he puts up with her
2012-12-13 10:15:41 AM  
1 votes:
Reminds me of my time traveling back and forth to DC when I was an Oracle consultant back around 2000. I can't tell you how many ridiculous Y2K "consultants" I encountered.

Granted, there was a real problem there, especially for legacy systems that had their origins in the old IBM tech. But talking to some of these guys in airport bars while waiting for flights was absolutely painful. I am a tech dude. Who the fark did they think they were fooling? "You really need to convince your clients they need us."

Yeah, right.
2012-12-13 10:13:15 AM  
1 votes:
In preparation for The End of the WorldTM, I'm giving away all my Krugerrands to strippers. Think coin slot...
2012-12-13 10:07:52 AM  
1 votes:
i281.photobucket.com

/oblig
2012-12-13 10:04:41 AM  
1 votes:
As long as I live, I will never understand why people keep getting duped by every other doomsday theorist and his monkey's uncle.

You dicks. It's called science. Study it out.
2012-12-13 10:00:25 AM  
1 votes:

blatz514: oblig


That's the downside to this whole thing. People are playing more REM. I hate REM.
2012-12-13 09:57:49 AM  
1 votes:
NASA are such good stewards of the taxpayer's money that they would not be spending money on this iF IT WASN'T A MASSIVE COVER-UP!
2012-12-13 09:52:35 AM  
1 votes:

probesport: Lenny Bruce is not afraid.


That is troubling, but did it start with an earthquake? Birds? Snakes? Aeroplanes? I mean really.... this is important to know.
2012-12-13 09:51:17 AM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: some guy on the internet sent her an e-mail saying that the Mayans forgot to include leap years


www.reactionface.info
2012-12-13 09:50:45 AM  
1 votes:

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: James!: Of course they'd say that. They don't want us to panic.  It's just like how the Nazis told their prisoners that they were about to get a shower.
 
 
/Did he just bring Hitler into this?

I... I did not think it possible to Godwin this thread.


I find your lack of faith disturbing.
2012-12-13 09:43:20 AM  
1 votes:
As long as Honey Boo Boo is still on the air, I am keeping with the idea of everything ending next week.
2012-12-13 09:25:22 AM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: Why would I listen to those government-controlled eggheads when I can listen to Nancy Lieder, who talks with aliens?


hahaha oh my, that site is still up? Was it 2003 they predicted the pole shift? Trouble times indeed. I wonder what would happen if she had Time Cube guy's baby.
 
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