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(Daily Mail)   Kristen Stewart delivers emotional speech at Hurricane Sandy benefit. Well, it might have been emotional, but you'll never know by looking at her face   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 73
    More: Interesting, Kristen Stewart, neon, Jon Bon Jovi, rudeness, Billy Crystal, bright green, Cali, hoboken  
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2961 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 Dec 2012 at 8:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



73 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-13 08:26:30 AM
Hey- at least somebody mentioned Hoboken. Not to dismiss any other community, but we got CRUSHED folks.
 
2012-12-13 08:30:03 AM
That was an surreal evening all around.
 
2012-12-13 08:37:59 AM
She has to have the greatest agent and worst publicist of all time.
 
2012-12-13 08:43:08 AM
OH COME ON SUBBY. THIS IS CLEARLY A SMILE.

i.dailymail.co.uk

..maybe.
 
2012-12-13 08:43:58 AM
Knobby knees. Eat something, girl.
 
2012-12-13 08:44:30 AM
Look, I don't want to complain on Fark. But then I wouldn't be a Farker, would I?

This thing was broadcast on eleventy million channels, Youtube, and I'm sure other websites that would try to infect your computer with malware but Fark couldn't get a greenlit thread inplace for a 4 1/2 hour benefit concert?

Really?

There was so much material available to snark on.
There was so much material to go "America, Yeah!" to.

Jon Bon Jovi unable and not even willing to try hitting WHOAAH-OH! LIVING ON A PRAYER! Every. Single. Time. (and so help me, after the key change...pure gold).

The Who dropping F-bombs like they're rebels or something.

Eric Clapton absolutely KILLING it!

Congrats, Fark.

/greenlight effing Honey Boo Boo threads
//can't greenlight something actually worthwhile on both a humanitary and comedy level
 
2012-12-13 08:47:17 AM
she looks like Gollum
 
2012-12-13 08:50:32 AM

labbal: /greenlight effing Honey Boo Boo threads
//can't greenlight something actually worthwhile on both a humanitary and comedy level


i6.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 08:51:36 AM

labbal: Jon Bon Jovi unable and not even willing to try hitting WHOAAH-OH! LIVING ON A PRAYER!


That's been Sambora's job for years. In fact, that band should be called Sambora.
 
2012-12-13 08:53:01 AM
dafaq is she wearing? Will she be participating as a piece of road construction equipment after this event?
 
2012-12-13 08:53:30 AM
I heard her introduce Bon Jovi on the radio without knowing that it actually was her. I though to myself "Geez, that intro sounded like Kristen Stewart was up there talking about something she couldn't give a damn about." I only found out this morning that it was her.

Thankfully Jon Stewart made up for it in spades during his intro to Clapton.

/Beers at the Catch. Been there man.
 
2012-12-13 08:53:50 AM
So... She's on meth, now? Seriously, she's gone from looking wane, pasty, and unenthused to outright ghoulish. What the hell?
 
2012-12-13 08:54:35 AM

labbal: Look, I don't want to complain on Fark. But then I wouldn't be a Farker, would I?

This thing was broadcast on eleventy million channels, Youtube, and I'm sure other websites that would try to infect your computer with malware but Fark couldn't get a greenlit thread inplace for a 4 1/2 hour benefit concert?

Really?

There was so much material available to snark on.
There was so much material to go "America, Yeah!" to.

Jon Bon Jovi unable and not even willing to try hitting WHOAAH-OH! LIVING ON A PRAYER! Every. Single. Time. (and so help me, after the key change...pure gold).

The Who dropping F-bombs like they're rebels or something.

Eric Clapton absolutely KILLING it!

Congrats, Fark.

/greenlight effing Honey Boo Boo threads
//can't greenlight something actually worthwhile on both a humanitary and comedy level


I've found it helps to get your event threads in early, so they're not lost in the shuffle later in the day when there's hundreds of submissions per hour.

Since you don't have TF, you don't see everything submitted between 8 AM and 10 PM. Lots of stuff gets lost in the shuffle. Hell, sometimes even NFL threads get greened after gametime because they get lost in the daytime queue.

So remember, treat it like a Chicago election... submit early, submit often.

/oh, and Kristen Stewart would no-sell a dick in the ass with no lube.
 
2012-12-13 08:54:42 AM

The Muthaship: In fact, that band should be called Sambora.


How about just simplify it to Complete and Utter Shiat, or does another band already have that name?
 
2012-12-13 08:55:45 AM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: she looks like Gollum


Not Amused

www.inquisitr.com
 
2012-12-13 08:55:49 AM
saw about 2 minutes of it last night. Just bad timing I guess. About 20 old guys I didn't recognise in black t-shirts giving each other really awkward hugs and an embarrassing collective bow. I didn't stick around for any more, I figured the benefit concert circuit must be a little too crowded lately.
 
2012-12-13 08:56:15 AM

EyeballKid: The Muthaship: In fact, that band should be called Sambora.

How about just simplify it to Complete and Utter Shiat, or does another band already have that name?


I believe it's still available, although there's no way it should be.

It's a shame really. Sambora is incredibly talented, and he's had to play second fiddle to a hairstyle for his whole career.
 
2012-12-13 08:58:41 AM

The Muthaship: EyeballKid: The Muthaship: In fact, that band should be called Sambora.

How about just simplify it to Complete and Utter Shiat, or does another band already have that name?

I believe it's still available, although there's no way it should be.


I am pretty sure I saw them last weekend.
 
2012-12-13 09:00:45 AM
I caught a bit on my way out the door last night.. some rather unfunny bit about a drunk uncle.

Well, it looks like iTunes is taking presales on an album from the concert, even if they have no track names yet.
 
2012-12-13 09:01:06 AM
God damn I would ruin that girl.. She has the sexiest hair flip..
 
2012-12-13 09:01:37 AM

darch: Hey- at least somebody mentioned Hoboken.


Pardon me, but could you help out a fellow American who's down on his luck?
 
2012-12-13 09:05:13 AM
www.crushable.com
 
2012-12-13 09:07:49 AM

Gunny Highway: I am pretty sure I saw them last weekend.


I bet I've seen them at least 10 times. Seems they never have the same line up.
 
2012-12-13 09:11:15 AM
I am STILL bitter that Fark did not approve an Anne Hathaway crotch flash thread....

That was obviously the most important even of the week.
 
2012-12-13 09:12:17 AM

doczoidberg: That was obviously the most important even of the week.


Maybe if it had been more of a side shot....
 
2012-12-13 09:12:29 AM
The "tsk" noise she kept making between sentences was really grating after a while.
 
2012-12-13 09:12:32 AM
FTA: She talked of the New Jersey town of Hoboken, and how almost half the town were badly affected.
Then Stewart said that there were 37 billion affected across New Jersey in total but pointed out that it's hard to put human faces to such numbers.


37 billion what? Pigeons? The state has a population of just under 9 million.
 
2012-12-13 09:14:02 AM
In my experience, women who have no voluntary control of their facial muscles, the ones with slack, limp faces, are absolutely terrible in the sack, because the lack of muscle tone extends to everywhere in their bodies.

So, while she might be kinda pretty in some photos, particularly the somber ones where she doesn't have to emote anything more complex than a marijuana buzz, she's not SEXY because she can't smile or laugh or cry properly. She's got a doll's face. She is literally the personification of the uncanny valley property of synthetic life. Kristen Stewart is the reason Cherry 2000 will never be built, and if it were, you'd die on the inside while screwing her.
 
2012-12-13 09:15:14 AM

Wise_Guy: FTA: She talked of the New Jersey town of Hoboken, and how almost half the town were badly affected.
Then Stewart said that there were 37 billion affected across New Jersey in total but pointed out that it's hard to put human faces to such numbers.

37 billion what? Pigeons? The state has a population of just under 9 million.


Someone should also inform her the Earth's population is only around 7 billion, so it's amazing that the entire population of the earth times five were all in New Jersey during the hurricane.
 
2012-12-13 09:16:12 AM
That headline looks tired. Don't you think it looks tired?
 
2012-12-13 09:16:51 AM

darch: Hey- at least somebody mentioned Hoboken. Not to dismiss any other community, but we got CRUSHED folks.


Don't worry. Kristen Stewart is gone now, though the trauma will last forever in memory.
 
2012-12-13 09:19:26 AM

darch: Hey- at least somebody mentioned Hoboken. Not to dismiss any other community, but we got CRUSHED folks.


When I was there last week, it looked okay. Must've been in a luckier part of town.

Thoughts from the concert:

- Only Billy Joel can get away with singing about NYC being destroyed.
- Roger Daltrey needs to keep his clothes on.
- Kanye needs to decide between the kilt or the leggings.
- More MaccaVana!
 
2012-12-13 09:19:48 AM
-1 for the headline creativity, subby.
 
2012-12-13 09:22:29 AM

RevMercutio: - Only Billy Joel can get away with singing about NYC being destroyed


He sung that for the 9/11 concert as well.
 
2012-12-13 09:28:15 AM
Crewmannumber6

saw about 2 minutes of it last night. Just bad timing I guess. About 20 old guys I didn't recognise in black t-shirts giving each other really awkward hugs and an embarrassing collective bow. I didn't stick around for any more, I figured the benefit concert circuit must be a little too crowded lately.



That was Roger Waters, Eddie Vedder and the band, Dumbassnumber6.
 
2012-12-13 09:29:16 AM
kristenstewartdaily.net
 
2012-12-13 09:30:32 AM

karnal: Crewmannumber6

saw about 2 minutes of it last night. Just bad timing I guess. About 20 old guys I didn't recognise in black t-shirts giving each other really awkward hugs and an embarrassing collective bow. I didn't stick around for any more, I figured the benefit concert circuit must be a little too crowded lately.


That was Roger Waters, Eddie Vedder and the band, Dumbassnumber6.


Roger Waters is really into himself.
 
2012-12-13 09:31:21 AM

FirstNationalBastard: labbal: Look, I don't want to complain on Fark. But then I wouldn't be a Farker, would I?

This thing was broadcast on eleventy million channels, Youtube, and I'm sure other websites that would try to infect your computer with malware but Fark couldn't get a greenlit thread inplace for a 4 1/2 hour benefit concert?

Really?

There was so much material available to snark on.
There was so much material to go "America, Yeah!" to.

Jon Bon Jovi unable and not even willing to try hitting WHOAAH-OH! LIVING ON A PRAYER! Every. Single. Time. (and so help me, after the key change...pure gold).

The Who dropping F-bombs like they're rebels or something.

Eric Clapton absolutely KILLING it!

Congrats, Fark.

/greenlight effing Honey Boo Boo threads
//can't greenlight something actually worthwhile on both a humanitary and comedy level

I've found it helps to get your event threads in early, so they're not lost in the shuffle later in the day when there's hundreds of submissions per hour.

Since you don't have TF, you don't see everything submitted between 8 AM and 10 PM. Lots of stuff gets lost in the shuffle. Hell, sometimes even NFL threads get greened after gametime because they get lost in the daytime queue.

So remember, treat it like a Chicago election... submit early, submit often.

/oh, and Kristen Stewart would no-sell a dick in the ass with no lube.


I suppose here is where I reveal I didn't submit a thread at all, which is like NOT voting in a Chicago election... :/
Still, I would have thought other like-minded cynics would have appreciated having a thread and would have submitted.
Ah well.

As for the Welcome to Fark guy, yeah yeah...I'm aware of the meme.
 
2012-12-13 09:32:41 AM

labbal: As for the Welcome to Fark guy, yeah yeah...I'm aware of the meme.


That was more a shot a Fark, not you. Sorry.
 
2012-12-13 09:34:09 AM
Gunny Highway

karnal: Crewmannumber6

saw about 2 minutes of it last night. Just bad timing I guess. About 20 old guys I didn't recognise in black t-shirts giving each other really awkward hugs and an embarrassing collective bow. I didn't stick around for any more, I figured the benefit concert circuit must be a little too crowded lately.


That was Roger Waters, Eddie Vedder and the band, Dumbassnumber6.

Roger Waters is really into himself.



Name a rock star of his stature that isn't.
 
2012-12-13 09:36:46 AM
Other than the open shirt on Daltrey, The Who was great. And I'm not a big Who fan.
 
2012-12-13 09:37:34 AM

karnal: Name a rock star of his stature that isn't.


I saw him this summer. He did a duet with himself. The guy really loves himself.

Clapton did not come off that way last night.
 
2012-12-13 09:37:41 AM

greenbowlpacker: [kristenstewartdaily.net image 440x658]


Looks like someone could use a protein packed facial treatment....
 
2012-12-13 09:43:12 AM

labbal: Look, I don't want to complain on Fark. But then I wouldn't be a Farker, would I?

This thing was broadcast on eleventy million channels, Youtube, and I'm sure other websites that would try to infect your computer with malware but Fark couldn't get a greenlit thread inplace for a 4 1/2 hour benefit concert?

l


Was it scheduled to run 4 1/2 hours? Because it ran almost 6. I had it on all night, wasn't glued to the TV but I thought they did a pretty good job. Most of the acts brought their A game. IMO.
 
2012-12-13 09:44:23 AM

greenbowlpacker: [kristenstewartdaily.net image 440x658]


Is she on a permanent 3 hours of sleep or is she just auditioning in advance for whatever the next Tim Burton movie is? There's something very odd looking about that girl.
 
2012-12-13 09:51:54 AM
God she looks terrible. Come on Hollywood. A leading lady should stop traffic, not get a 'meh' out of the average Joe walking past her in Walmart.
 
2012-12-13 10:04:16 AM
Saw her totally lame, unaffected, unintelligible wharrgarbl. Not impressed at all.
 
2012-12-13 10:12:41 AM

karnal: Crewmannumber6

saw about 2 minutes of it last night. Just bad timing I guess. About 20 old guys I didn't recognise in black t-shirts giving each other really awkward hugs and an embarrassing collective bow. I didn't stick around for any more, I figured the benefit concert circuit must be a little too crowded lately.


That was Roger Waters, Eddie Vedder and the band, Dumbassnumber6.


I don't know Roger Waters to look at him, never cared about Pearl Jam, and didn't spot Robbie Robertson. Sorry.
 
2012-12-13 10:15:58 AM

labbal: Look, I don't want to complain on Fark. But then I wouldn't be a Farker, would I?

This thing was broadcast on eleventy million channels, Youtube, and I'm sure other websites that would try to infect your computer with malware but Fark couldn't get a greenlit thread inplace for a 4 1/2 hour benefit concert?

Really?

There was so much material available to snark on.
There was so much material to go "America, Yeah!" to.

Jon Bon Jovi unable and not even willing to try hitting WHOAAH-OH! LIVING ON A PRAYER! Every. Single. Time. (and so help me, after the key change...pure gold).

The Who dropping F-bombs like they're rebels or something.

Eric Clapton absolutely KILLING it!

Congrats, Fark.

/greenlight effing Honey Boo Boo threads
//can't greenlight something actually worthwhile on both a humanitary and comedy level


Fark has been going downhill for a decade.
 
2012-12-13 10:24:02 AM

greenbowlpacker: [kristenstewartdaily.net image 440x658]


Cover the bottom half of the picture and look at her eyes.

That's not a smile. That's lips pulled back with teeth showing, but it is not a smile.
 
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