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(Daily Mail)   Not News: Smoking hot 39-year-old mum teaches child to read. Fark: The kid is four days old (w/pics)   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 177
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33451 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2012 at 5:06 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



177 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-12 09:02:06 PM  
Wow. Now, what were you saying about the kid?
 
2012-12-12 09:10:59 PM  
Just like I taught the dog to tune a piano. She didn't learn it, but I taught her.
 
2012-12-12 09:29:53 PM  
that kid's never going hungry.
 
2012-12-12 09:37:56 PM  
That cleavage made me forget how to read for a minute.
 
2012-12-12 09:47:16 PM  
TL, DR
 
2012-12-12 10:15:07 PM  
3 year olds can read. 4 day olds, no. Don't be farking stupid.
 
2012-12-12 10:34:16 PM  
'I would show John words like "milk", give him my breast...'

That would make Pavlov drool.
 
2012-12-12 11:51:31 PM  
Oh look, she's on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Coincidence? Funny that they fail to mention that in TFA.

Here's another pic for to better view teh bewbs.

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-12-12 11:53:06 PM  
Follow up: Child decides to breastfeed to the grave.
 
2012-12-12 11:58:15 PM  
Does a "smoking hot" Daily Fail/Sun link have to be greenlit every day now? It's been nearly a week of consecutive troll-bait disappointments....

fusillade762: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x706]


I stand corrected, and I didn't even have to click, but still Fark, you're on watch
 
2012-12-13 12:29:13 AM  
"I tried to start him on 'Atlas Shrugged,' but he just rolled his eyes at me and violently shat for both distance and power."
 
2012-12-13 01:22:04 AM  
"Mum?" I wish British people would stop using that word and speak American.
 
2012-12-13 01:46:37 AM  
si0.twimg.com
 
2012-12-13 02:28:38 AM  
Smoking hot 39-year-old mum 

6.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-13 05:15:20 AM  
Bit of the crazy in the second pic.

She's one to live through the kid.
 
2012-12-13 05:15:35 AM  

fusillade762: Oh look, she's on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Coincidence? Funny that they fail to mention that in TFA.

Here's another pic for to better view teh bewbs.

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x706]



Nice floats.
 
2012-12-13 05:15:46 AM  
Nice Eldridge Cleavage!

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-12-13 05:20:07 AM  
A is for Apple.

B is for Boobs. Breasts. Bewbs. Boobies. Bazongas. Bouncers. Tits.
 
2012-12-13 05:21:27 AM  

martid4: Nice Eldridge Cleavage!


i233.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 05:26:29 AM  
Professional AW teaches baby to read, accord to the Daily Mail.

Sounds legit
 
2012-12-13 05:29:25 AM  
Plan B) The kid has something called "a childhood".
 
2012-12-13 05:30:12 AM  
Bah. Toss all newborn babies out into the woods. Any that come out on their own can stay. Fark all the rest.
 
2012-12-13 05:31:21 AM  
How did fark become the Daily Mails biatch? Does it have a really big cock or something?
 
2012-12-13 05:32:10 AM  

Mark Ratner: "Mum?" I wish British people would stop using that word and speak American.


Maybe once you teach Kevin Bacon to say Mo-Bile, instead of Mo-bul...we'll think about it...

Actually no, fark off......Mom is one of the shiattest words available in the English Language, due to you yanks.
 
2012-12-13 05:32:19 AM  
Okay, she started the teaching at 4 days old.. and is using something called baby sign language. I doubt he could focus his eyes on anything that young.
 
2012-12-13 05:32:32 AM  
From TFA: He's 3 yrs old and just now starting to recognize words. She started to read to him at 4 days old.

Nothing to see here (except for the stacked mom), move along.
 
2012-12-13 05:34:11 AM  

abhorrent1: How did fark become the Daily Mails biatch? Does it have a really big cock or something?


It gets worse, we're now trapped in a sort of Fark, Daily Mail cycle.... they've clearly taken a look at their web stats recently and noticed that a large percentage comes from Fark, so now i'm reading stories on Fark and then about 12 hours to a day later, the same story appears almost verbatim on the Mails website.
 
2012-12-13 05:41:25 AM  

Mark Ratner: "Mum?" I wish British people would stop using that word and speak American.


Mum on mum? Sounds like mif porn.
 
2012-12-13 05:44:29 AM  
Yeah, cause American is a language and English 'tis not


Please teach me the word milk lady,please
 
2012-12-13 05:45:20 AM  
mein gott. sie hat riesige titten

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-12-13 05:45:24 AM  
June Cleavage there may be on to something there.
 
2012-12-13 05:52:01 AM  
moel: abhorrent1: How did fark become the Daily Mails biatch? Does it have a really big cock or something?

It gets worse, we're now trapped in a sort of Fark, Daily Mail cycle.... they've clearly taken a look at their web stats recently and noticed that a large percentage comes from Fark, so now i'm reading stories on Fark and then about 12 hours to a day later, the same story appears almost verbatim on the Mails website.



-------------------------------

What if it becomes one? What then?

Daily Fark, It's Not News It's Complete Horseshiat. Then a bunch of "stories" like Are Immigrants Drinking Our Water filled with words like Wheeled Rollingham instead of car.
 
2012-12-13 05:53:29 AM  
That kid is four days old?
I'm not sure he should still be breast feeding.
Either that or a very painful birth.
 
2012-12-13 05:54:07 AM  
Early learning mentor: Dana with son John, who she has been teaching to read since he was four days old. She said it will be worth it when he ends up at Oxford or Yale University

That kid is doomed.
 
2012-12-13 05:56:10 AM  
Somebody kill these parents. People like this are delusional.

Kids should not be "taught" anything until at least 3 or 4 years of age, and even then only if they are interested.
 
2012-12-13 05:59:14 AM  
As if a child called "Jordan" is ever going to go to university.
 
2012-12-13 05:59:29 AM  
Another "smoking hot" Daily Mail submission.... better check the comments first just to be safe.

Not bad. Fappable. Still gonna check comments first from now on.
 
2012-12-13 06:00:57 AM  
Subby needs some reading skills of their own. The mom STARTED trying to teach the kid when he was 4 days old, which doesn't mean shiat.
 
2012-12-13 06:08:33 AM  
I'd milk it.
 
2012-12-13 06:11:36 AM  
How is babby teached?
 
2012-12-13 06:13:39 AM  
This story captures almost everything that's wrong with elitists. I feel bad for the kid.
 
2012-12-13 06:15:57 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: Early learning mentor: Dana with son John, who she has been teaching to read since he was four days old. She said it will be worth it when he ends up at Oxford or Yale University

That kid is doomed.


What about Cambridge you farkers?!
 
2012-12-13 06:17:27 AM  

Mock26: Bah. Toss all newborn babies out into the woods. Any that come out on their own can stay. Fark all the rest.


I would suggest you run from any that came out of the woods.
 
2012-12-13 06:17:37 AM  
Yowza! I'd form a conjunction with her.
 
2012-12-13 06:19:20 AM  

abhorrent1: How did fark become the Daily Mails biatch? Does it have a really big cock or something?


Ever since the Weekly World News went tits up 5 years ago someone else had to step up to the plate...
 
2012-12-13 06:31:55 AM  
I suppose I'll check just how fugly this Mail Online 'smoking hot' cave troll is and- ohmygod! This... this smoking hot milf is smoking hot milfy. Will wonders never cease?

/fap
//fap
///fap
 
2012-12-13 06:32:26 AM  
Thats gotta be the biggest 4 day old kid in history.

She is ruined, RUINED, I say.
 
2012-12-13 06:39:05 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-13 06:39:28 AM  

I sound fat: Thats gotta be the biggest 4 day old kid in history.

She is ruined, RUINED, I say.


There are some advantages. Wondering where the G-spot is? Climb right in with a work-light and a car buffer.
 
mhd
2012-12-13 06:47:37 AM  
A drunk father also helps motivate a child to write angry letters from an early age.
 
2012-12-13 06:55:21 AM  

mhd: A drunk father also helps motivate a child to write angry letters from an early age.


Maybe your drunk father. Mine taught me how to drive, cook, and bring home a paycheck before I was 2.

Now, I'm 9 years old and look where I am... Sitting amongst my intellectual equals here on Fark.

I've come full circle.
 
2012-12-13 07:06:53 AM  

DanZero: Does a "smoking hot" Daily Fail/Sun link have to be greenlit every day now? It's been nearly a week of consecutive troll-bait disappointments....

fusillade762: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x706]

I stand corrected, and I didn't even have to click, but still Fark, you're on watch


this is why the 'smoking hot' troll still works

/ always check the thread first
// ran out of eye bleach a long time ago
///too much of that shiat isn't good for you
 
2012-12-13 07:10:40 AM  
what is the rush?
 
2012-12-13 07:13:19 AM  
Dana says John - her only child - was pointing and using basic...

Sadly that explains a lot. Try keeping an eye on two or three toddlers & this type of nonsense stops as you're just too exhausted to anything more than the basics. Poor John will want to get to Oxford or Yale (or anywhere that will have him) as soon as possible to escape this lunatic (and to escape all his friends constantly wanting to go to his house... to eye fark mom)

/it's sad how many parents of just one child suddenly become experts on all children & how they do things is the only way possible to raise a child
 
2012-12-13 07:14:15 AM  
What a smoking hot mum close up looks like

faculty.ucc.edu
 
2012-12-13 07:20:54 AM  
She's not that hot. Fleshy jugs might attract the eye, but have some dignity, guys.
 
2012-12-13 07:20:57 AM  
They grow up so fast these days.
 
2012-12-13 07:26:35 AM  

swahnhennessy: She's not that hot. Fleshy jugs might attract the eye, but have some dignity, guys.


Sharp knees, etc etc?
 
2012-12-13 07:29:51 AM  

HindiDiscoMonster: jfivealive: What a smoking hot mum close up looks like

[faculty.ucc.edu image 637x478]

ummm... they are not on fire?


as good as it gets

fc00.deviantart.net
 
2012-12-13 07:36:51 AM  
img384.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-13 07:51:37 AM  

Mark Ratner: "Mum?" I wish British people would stop using that word and speak American.


My second shift person calls his mother 'mum' and he's 'merican. Never can understand why he calls her that....
 
2012-12-13 07:58:59 AM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 535x558]


you know...that took way too long to get here.
 
2012-12-13 08:04:03 AM  

fusillade762: Here's another pic for to better view teh bewbs.


Faaaaaark. I'd put a frog in her pail to keep that milk from going sour, ifyaknowwhatImean.
 
2012-12-13 08:14:28 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk 

I came
 
2012-12-13 08:17:48 AM  
Lots of people can read. It doesn't mean they are going to Harvard.
 
2012-12-13 08:29:58 AM  

BSABSVR: 3 year olds can read. 4 day olds, no. Don't be farking stupid.


Particularly intelligent 3 year olds can read, a little, on occasion. 5 or 6 is normal.
 
2012-12-13 08:35:04 AM  
Enjoy the view boys, her voice sounds like a 5-pack a day chain smoker and she is dumb as a rock - or at least she pretends to be when she is on Real Housewives.

/don't judge.
 
2012-12-13 08:36:32 AM  
Am I the only one that, besides the obvious, noticed that SHE'S BAREFOOT as well?

Must be fresh from the kitchen.

Whar mai SAMMICH? 


Where the hell does one find such wimmens?
This image is going to haunt me - thank christ
 
2012-12-13 08:37:52 AM  
My daughter turned 3 this month and can recognize most of the alphabet on flash cards. That was without Baby Einstein or anything similar. She 'colors' with my iPod in the car to keep herself occupied as well.
 
2012-12-13 08:40:19 AM  

Shyla: Enjoy the view boys, her voice sounds like a 5-pack a day chain smoker and she is dumb as a rock - or at least she pretends to be when she is on Real Housewives.


With what I have in mind, she won't be able to talk.
 
2012-12-13 08:40:36 AM  
She looks like a b*tch... and a gold digger.

DO NOT WANT!
 
2012-12-13 08:41:42 AM  
and to think, i was proud when my daughter started full on walking at 9 months old....
 
2012-12-13 08:47:21 AM  
i478.photobucket.com

/can't believe I'm the first
 
2012-12-13 08:49:00 AM  
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-13 08:51:13 AM  
Wasn't there someone on here that had a sister that was homeschooled or something. I forget what that was all about.
 
2012-12-13 08:53:36 AM  
I have a free-range 3yo. We let him learn at his own pace, when he wants to learn. At 18 months one of his little friends could count to ten and his mother was SO PROUD. That kid could say "onetwothreefour...", he had ZERO understanding of what it meant. Mine just played with his cars until he could cognitively understand that two cars is more than one car and then we started counting stuff and then we started showing him the number and telling that meant "2" and now the kid can count to 13 and do simple addition and subtraction. No special courses or flashcards or any of that jazz - just counting everywhere we went (steps, trees, cars, leaves, whatever).

Your kid is going to be smart or stupid - as long as you pay attention to them and talk to them they'll learn to their potential.
 
2012-12-13 08:57:13 AM  

Rattlehead: Yowza! I'd form a conjunction with her.


Dangling participle, some kinda metaphor sex thing
 
2012-12-13 08:57:20 AM  
She's an event planner.

Therefore, she's an OCD harridan.

/The boobage almost makes up for that, though.
 
2012-12-13 08:58:48 AM  
I would not hit it without checking first. That's a Man baby yeah.
 
2012-12-13 08:59:27 AM  

Wodan11: From TFA: He's 3 yrs old and just now starting to recognize words. She started to read to him at 4 days old.

Nothing to see here (except for the stacked mom), move along.


I taught myself to read by the age of 2. My parents both said I was always pointing at words on signs and asking 'what does that say', and they'd tell me. Then I started putting the words together to make sentences, and then read our set of encyclopedias from A to Z.

/that kid is slacking
 
2012-12-13 09:03:43 AM  
"she used to run through a set of ten flashcards with her son twice a day. 'I would show John words like "milk", give him my breast"

I would like to sign up for this class.
 
2012-12-13 09:04:56 AM  
yowza. this is the kind of early edamukayshun i can get behind. seriously, i want to 'hop-on-it-like-pop'
 
2012-12-13 09:06:48 AM  

JonnyG: Somebody kill these parents. People like this are delusional.

Kids should not be "taught" anything until at least 3 or 4 years of age, and even then only if they are interested.


Why? Young kids can be taught quite productively if you know what you're doing.
Teaching a kid "baby sign" can allow them to tell you whether they're hungry or whatever even before they can speak.
I don't really see the downside.
 
2012-12-13 09:07:45 AM  
*grunts approvingly*
 
2012-12-13 09:07:53 AM  
i219.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 09:08:35 AM  

Gawdzila: "she used to run through a set of ten flashcards with her son twice a day. 'I would show John words like "milk", give him my breast"

I would like to sign up for this class.


call Van Wilder, i think he had some kind of topless tutoring business set up.
 
2012-12-13 09:11:17 AM  

Bendal: Wodan11: From TFA: He's 3 yrs old and just now starting to recognize words. She started to read to him at 4 days old.

Nothing to see here (except for the stacked mom), move along.

I taught myself to read by the age of 2. My parents both said I was always pointing at words on signs and asking 'what does that say', and they'd tell me. Then I started putting the words together to make sentences, and then read our set of encyclopedias from A to Z.

/that kid is slacking


My parents say this sort of thing about me. Personally I think it's bullshiat.

/my "reading" at three was memorizing the book
 
2012-12-13 09:11:17 AM  
Hell, I was circumcised as a babby and it hurt so bad I didn't walk for a year.
 
2012-12-13 09:12:35 AM  

PoRL: Plan B) The kid has something called "a childhood".


While I'm not at all one to use the old "That's how it always was, so kets keep doing it", this idea that childhood is a time purely of leisure and fun is really a new idea, historically speaking.

Here's a better idea: kids can actually have a rewarding and fulfilling life by actually doing things instead of this idea that they should be able to just do nothing.
 
2012-12-13 09:14:05 AM  

NeoBad: I would not hit it without checking first. That's a Man baby yeah.


If that's a man, he can have his way with me.
 
2012-12-13 09:14:44 AM  
i.imgur.com

You were . . . what were you saying?
 
2012-12-13 09:17:51 AM  
Of course you can teach some children to do things much earlier than their peers. Other than braging rights, it does nothing for the child. ventually, other kids catch up and there is no difference between the children.

Mom, helicopter away from the child.
 
2012-12-13 09:18:00 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: Early learning mentor: Dana with son John, who she has been teaching to read since he was four days old. She said it will be worth it when he ends up at Oxford or Yale University

That kid is doomed.


cl.jroo.me
 
zez
2012-12-13 09:18:53 AM  
I had both of my boys reading books before they were 3, it's not that hard.

/off to read the cleavage
 
2012-12-13 09:19:12 AM  

abhorrent1: How did fark become the Daily Mails biatch? Does it have a really big cock or something?


3.bp.blogspot.com
 

YES
 
2012-12-13 09:19:18 AM  

wambu: [i.imgur.com image 150x163]

You were . . . what were you saying?


Moley moley moley moley...
 
2012-12-13 09:20:28 AM  
Did anyone else notice that the mother pictured in the article has rather large breasts?
 
2012-12-13 09:22:18 AM  

Recoil Therapy: Dana says John - her only child - was pointing and using basic...

Sadly that explains a lot. Try keeping an eye on two or three toddlers & this type of nonsense stops as you're just too exhausted to anything more than the basics. Poor John will want to get to Oxford or Yale (or anywhere that will have him) as soon as possible to escape this lunatic (and to escape all his friends constantly wanting to go to his house... to eye fark mom)

/it's sad how many parents of just one child suddenly become experts on all children & how they do things is the only way possible to raise a child


I did exactly that, for that reason.

I DNRTFA but I am worried about this kid. My mother was like that - she didn't start trying to teach me to read at 4 days but she did other things that were just as worrying. She boasted to me when I had my baby that she only ever had ONE dirty nappy from me. She started timing my shiats as soon as I was born and sat me on a plastic bag and toilet paper instead.

I obviously had never known that up till then, but I did know about the flash cards she made me do all the time when I was about 4, the rigid rules about just about everything, and the fact that she made it clear she had absolutely high expectations and nothing but straight As would do. Mealtimes were hell as I couldn't eat anything without being told again and again that I had too much on my fork or I was holding my cutlery the wrong way.

Probably wouldn't have been as bad if my parents hadn't split when I was 6. Found out a few years ago that my dad went to the GP afterwards and told them he was worried about leaving me with her as she was "emotionally abusive". They checked me for bruises but didn't find any so nothing happened. Kind of explains why he then tried to kidnap me. Of course Mother Dear's version was simply that he was a terrifying maniac who must be avoided at all costs.

I was thinking about how it makes it clear that my mother has some kind of deep seated psychological problems and was a terrible person to bring up a child that she started trying to control everything from the day that I was born. Oh, she also made certain I couldn't develop any attachments to any of my toys, by keeping a strict rota of which one she put me to bed with each night. With one night with no toy. I'm sure there's more and more of this shiat.

Control freaks do not make good parents. They LOOK like good parents when the kids are small and they are dressed up all nice and being so good and achieving in school. Quite a few people I knew at Oxford were farked up by parents who had unreasonably high expectations. Sooner or later people with parents like that tend to go off the rails, when they realise their parents will NEVER be satisfied no matter what they do.

I am not reading that article because it will make me too angry.

A 4 day old would NOT be able to SEE the word "milk". It is absolutely ridiculous trying to teach it at all. When I got to university, my tutor told me that I had started to read too young - she could tell by the spelling mistakes I made.

GRRRR.
 
2012-12-13 09:22:37 AM  
I was reading at an early age (two years old), also. My wife worked with our son starting about the time he could focus on objects. She used one of those magnetic sketch boards to write words and read them to him. When he started speaking, we would write the words he was saying on the board and show them to him. He read "hi" for the first time at about nine months old, and "happy" the same day (two of his first spoken words). He is three years old and reads everything, sounding out words phonetically if he doesn't know them. We didn't push or force it on him, he just did it. It's not the "learning to read" part that we view as important, but more the "learning how to learn and teach yourself" part. If we give him a decent foundation now, learning will be easy and he can coast through school. We let him be a kid, but will never pass up an opportunity to teach. We're working on simple addition (using Civchic's methiod with toys), and handwriting (it's easier since he knows what the letters look like from reading).
 
2012-12-13 09:22:56 AM  

offmymeds: Lionel Mandrake: Early learning mentor: Dana with son John, who she has been teaching to read since he was four days old. She said it will be worth it when he ends up at Oxford or Yale University

That kid is doomed.

[cl.jroo.me image 500x375]


That is awful.

/lol
 
2012-12-13 09:30:41 AM  
Some folks thought it was amazing that I could "read" at a very early age when they saw me sitting with my Dr Seuss books, reciting the story aloud and turning the pages. Actually, I had heard the stories so many times that I would recite them from memory and turn the pages at the appropriate moments.
 
2012-12-13 09:32:26 AM  

oldfarthenry: Did anyone else notice that the mother pictured in the article has rather large breasts?


Really?

i536.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 09:32:29 AM  

Mock26: Bah. Toss all newborn babies out into the woods. Any that come out on their own can stay. Fark all the rest.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 09:33:51 AM  
Not bad looking legs. The skirt needs to be a wee bit shorter
 
2012-12-13 09:37:56 AM  
That kid is very tall for a 4 day old.
 
2012-12-13 09:41:34 AM  

CreamFilling: Just like I taught the dog to tune a piano. She didn't learn it, but I taught her.


Well of course not - she don't got no thumbs.

/mom is an AW, albiet a milfy one
 
2012-12-13 09:41:46 AM  

andyofne: That kid is very tall for a 4 day old.


That had to have been one painful delivery.
 
2012-12-13 09:42:00 AM  

Marcintosh: Am I the only one that, besides the obvious, noticed that SHE'S BAREFOOT as well?



Oh, I definitely noticed.
Candy apple red is a nice touch on a MILF.
 
2012-12-13 09:43:35 AM  
img526.imageshack.us

No skillzs
 
2012-12-13 09:43:41 AM  
FTA: 'I would show John words like "milk", give him my breast, and then show him the baby sign language for milk,'

MILK! MILK! MILK!
 
2012-12-13 09:52:06 AM  

Satanus Maximus: Another "smoking hot" Daily Mail submission.... better check the comments first just to be safe.

Not bad. Fappable. Still gonna check comments first from now on.



Yeah, I'm with you. I just sort of expect a particularly horrid looking woman when someone says "smoking hot" nowadays. In this case I feel like I got fooled because she IS pretty hot!

//Bewbs
 
2012-12-13 09:52:53 AM  

littlett's: andyofne: That kid is very tall for a 4 day old.

That had to have been one painful delivery.


I hope the doctor had the machine that goes "BING!"
 
2012-12-13 09:55:10 AM  
How I know I am a parent:

I noticed the book the kid was reading before I noticed the cleavage...

"Can you slither like a snake? Slinky Slinky sly"
 
2012-12-13 09:58:34 AM  

Civchic: I have a free-range 3yo. We let him learn at his own pace, when he wants to learn. At 18 months one of his little friends could count to ten and his mother was SO PROUD. That kid could say "onetwothreefour...", he had ZERO understanding of what it meant. Mine just played with his cars until he could cognitively understand that two cars is more than one car and then we started counting stuff and then we started showing him the number and telling that meant "2" and now the kid can count to 13 and do simple addition and subtraction. No special courses or flashcards or any of that jazz - just counting everywhere we went (steps, trees, cars, leaves, whatever).

Your kid is going to be smart or stupid - as long as you pay attention to them and talk to them they'll learn to their potential.


I wholeheartedly agree with your parenting style. Sounds to me like your child is and will be very well adjusted, and may likely not have any issues with confidence because you are not pushing him too hard where he may feel like he would set himself up for his own failure. That would lead to tremendous misery in his future.
 
2012-12-13 10:05:48 AM  
Baby's thought:

"I don't want to read, pull them titties out and let me feed"
 
2012-12-13 10:08:10 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: wholeheartedly agree with your parenting style. Sounds to me like your child is and will be very well adjusted, and may likely not have any issues with confidence because you are not pushing him too hard where he may feel like he would set himself up for his own failure. That would lead to tremendous misery in his future.


Thanks!

Also, his father and I both have very busy work lives and fun time of our own, and would rather our kids enjoy the time they spend with us then feel like they are being schooled all the time. Kids are awesome but it doesn't do them any good to think they're the center of the universe. We're following the same path with baby girl and so far we're pretty happy with them. ;)
 
2012-12-13 10:09:02 AM  

StashMonster: A 4 day old would NOT be able to SEE the word "milk". It is absolutely ridiculous trying to teach it at all. When I got to university, my tutor told me that I had started to read too young - she could tell by the spelling mistakes I made.


So you're saying that you're such a farking failure you couldn't learn how to spell no matter how much time your loving mother devoted to helping you achieve? You worthless piece of shiat.

/Pure Fark SnarkTM
 
2012-12-13 10:09:19 AM  
Got her beat, we're teaching our kid to read in the womb...

Seriously.
 
2012-12-13 10:11:45 AM  
I was reading something on some parenting website, trying desperately to figure out why my son refused to sleep through the night at 17 months. Turns out that it can be a sign of intelligence (it can also be a sign of a brazilian other things). Anyway, I don't think my kid's a genius, but reading that article did lead to another one about truly gifted children.

Apparently, there are kids who at twenty months can put together 80 piece jigsaw puzzles and do basic arithmetic in their heads.

That's...Children of the Corn-level creepy.
 
2012-12-13 10:20:09 AM  
I read a simple animal book to my five month old son last night. He tried to chew the pages.
 
2012-12-13 10:22:11 AM  

Gabrielmot: Got her beat, we're teaching our kid to read in the womb...

Seriously.


Like this?

thumbs.dreamstime.com
 
HBK
2012-12-13 10:26:12 AM  
Has anyone noticed that the mom has got some big titties?
 
2012-12-13 10:28:49 AM  
At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.
 
2012-12-13 10:30:27 AM  

Kepo: How I know I am a parent:

I noticed the book the kid was reading before I noticed the cleavage...

"Can you slither like a snake? Slinky Slinky sly"


How I know Ive been sleeping with just one woman for 10+ years...I didnt notice the kid or the book...
 
2012-12-13 10:38:05 AM  
Would hit. Angry fist. Or angry penis. Or something like that.
 
2012-12-13 10:39:49 AM  
img341.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-13 10:43:07 AM  

PoRL: Plan B) The kid has something called "a childhood".


Looks like its about nine months and three days too late for Plan B, dontchathink?
 
2012-12-13 10:43:17 AM  
imageshack.us

It was just sitting there.
 
2012-12-13 10:43:25 AM  

abhorrent1: Gabrielmot: Got her beat, we're teaching our kid to read in the womb...

Seriously.

Like this?

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 400x268]


thumbs.dreamstime.com

"That's two Quarter Pounders, one no pickle, a large fries, and a 9-piece Chicken McNuggets? $10.16, please pull to the 2nd window..."
 
2012-12-13 10:46:23 AM  

LazarusLong42: Bendal: Wodan11: From TFA: He's 3 yrs old and just now starting to recognize words. She started to read to him at 4 days old.

Nothing to see here (except for the stacked mom), move along.

I taught myself to read by the age of 2. My parents both said I was always pointing at words on signs and asking 'what does that say', and they'd tell me. Then I started putting the words together to make sentences, and then read our set of encyclopedias from A to Z.

/that kid is slacking

My parents say this sort of thing about me. Personally I think it's bullshiat.

/my "reading" at three was memorizing the book


I taught myself to read when I was four. My older brother was in first grade at the time, and I wanted to do what he was doing. My folks told me I was too young, and that I would learn later.

I disagreed.

They didn't know that I had tought myself until I was in kindergarten, and my teacher ratted me out. I thought I would get into trouble if I told them, but they seemed pretty pleased. They let us read pretty much whatever we pleased, which occasionally lead to some awkward questions being asked.

This "tiger-parent" crap has got to go. Let your kids be kids, not potential CEOs that you have to get into the "right" pre-school, kindergarten, primary school etc.
 
2012-12-13 10:49:05 AM  

Lord Dimwit: I was reading something on some parenting website, trying desperately to figure out why my son refused to sleep through the night at 17 months. Turns out that it can be a sign of intelligence (it can also be a sign of a brazilian other things). Anyway, I don't think my kid's a genius, but reading that article did lead to another one about truly gifted children.

Apparently, there are kids who at twenty months can put together 80 piece jigsaw puzzles and do basic arithmetic in their heads.

That's...Children of the Corn-level creepy.


More like "Village of the Damned." Are those kids all blond-haired?
 
2012-12-13 10:51:44 AM  
Parents should help their children be as smart as they can. Nobody else is going to give a f*ck and schools seem to be daycares these days. If you don't give a sh*t, nobody will. Life is easier when you are smart.

I am not saying be a tyrant. Have fun and make it fun and light-hearted and you will be amazed how fast kids can learn. Part of kids being kids is kids learning about the world around them.

/I take care of my kids
//YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
 
2012-12-13 10:54:38 AM  

Mark Ratner: "Mum?" I wish British people would stop using that word and speak American.


I imagine it's hard to say "mother" when you got a mouthful of zoomazooms.
 
2012-12-13 10:55:50 AM  
I rather enjoyed the article and picture of Leanne rimes' nipple that was linked in the sidebar. Much moreso than the original article.
 
2012-12-13 11:06:27 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: Civchic: I have a free-range 3yo. We let him learn at his own pace, when he wants to learn. At 18 months one of his little friends could count to ten and his mother was SO PROUD. That kid could say "onetwothreefour...", he had ZERO understanding of what it meant. Mine just played with his cars until he could cognitively understand that two cars is more than one car and then we started counting stuff and then we started showing him the number and telling that meant "2" and now the kid can count to 13 and do simple addition and subtraction. No special courses or flashcards or any of that jazz - just counting everywhere we went (steps, trees, cars, leaves, whatever).

Your kid is going to be smart or stupid - as long as you pay attention to them and talk to them they'll learn to their potential.

I wholeheartedly agree with your parenting style. Sounds to me like your child is and will be very well adjusted, and may likely not have any issues with confidence because you are not pushing him too hard where he may feel like he would set himself up for his own failure. That would lead to tremendous misery in his future.


This, this, this, this, and this.
 
2012-12-13 11:08:32 AM  
Came for the smoking hot mom.

Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-12-13 11:08:46 AM  
We did the same thing with our kids and have been teaching our grandson. He'll be three next month and is already reading words, counting up to 60 forwards and backwards, knows his colors, shapes up to dodecahedrons, and knows sign language which helped him communicate with us tremendously when he was in the pre-speech stage, and knows his alphabet in sign. My daughter's boyfriend has been speaking Spanish to him so he knows 3 languages including sign. There are a lot of resources online and Youtube has great learning materials. He has his own iPad and can get around on it better than most adults.


Oh yeah, the mom in this article has nice teats.
 
2012-12-13 11:12:51 AM  

ringersol: At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.


Don't be silly. I'm sure this woman has somehow figured out a secret to parenting, teaching, and even physiology (to get past that nasty "sleeping all the time and eyes that can barely focus" stuff) that none of the billions of parents and experts who came before here were able to get right. And I'm sure that this newborn is going to turn out smarter than any human being in history and is truly a child prodigy who makes even Mozart, Picasso, Magnus Carlsen, and all others pale in comparison . It seems totally totally legitimate.
 
2012-12-13 11:13:00 AM  

Fark Dupp: We did the same thing with our kids and have been teaching our grandson. He'll be three next month and is already reading words, counting up to 60 forwards and backwards, knows his colors, shapes up to dodecahedrons, and knows sign language which helped him communicate with us tremendously when he was in the pre-speech stage, and knows his alphabet in sign. My daughter's boyfriend has been speaking Spanish to him so he knows 3 languages including sign. There are a lot of resources online and Youtube has great learning materials. He has his own iPad and can get around on it better than most adults.


Oh yeah, the mom in this article has nice teats.


Weeeeelll, I have a 4 month old Lab puppy that I've just about fully taught not to eat her own poop.

/you're an overachiever
 
2012-12-13 11:14:14 AM  

Sultan Of Herf: Kepo: How I know I am a parent:

I noticed the book the kid was reading before I noticed the cleavage...

"Can you slither like a snake? Slinky Slinky sly"

How I know Ive been sleeping with just one woman for 10+ years...I didnt notice the kid or the book...


There's a kid in the picture?
*clicks link*
I'll be damned
 
2012-12-13 11:23:10 AM  

Perducci: ringersol: At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.

Don't be silly. I'm sure this woman has somehow figured out a secret to parenting, teaching, and even physiology (to get past that nasty "sleeping all the time and eyes that can barely focus" stuff) that none of the billions of parents and experts who came before here were able to get right. And I'm sure that this newborn is going to turn out smarter than any human being in history and is truly a child prodigy who makes even Mozart, Picasso, Magnus Carlsen, and all others pale in comparison . It seems totally totally legitimate.


Can't it just be a good thing the parent's are interacting and talking to the child? Why do you have to go all derpy?

If you don't like it, don't read to your super young kids. She isn't hurting you.
 
2012-12-13 11:31:13 AM  
Just cuz you push a kid into something doesn't make them smarter, just well trained. And it doesn't equal success.

I was early on everything; brilliant they said. Now I work a normal office job and go on fark.com five days a week.

/of course I have had a few pairs of titties that big in my face that didn't involve dollar bills and clear heels so I've got that going for me.
 
2012-12-13 11:32:56 AM  

Rattlehead: Yowza! I'd form a conjunction with her.


Actually LOL out here
 
2012-12-13 11:34:43 AM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: Just cuz you push a kid into something doesn't make them smarter, just well trained. And it doesn't equal success.

I was early on everything; brilliant they said. Now I work a normal office job and go on fark.com five days a week.

/of course I have had a few pairs of titties that big in my face that didn't involve dollar bills and clear heels so I've got that going for me.


oh Jesus...here comes the "they're not smart they just memorized sh*t" defense.

ffs.
 
2012-12-13 11:35:48 AM  
Smoking hot.....
"Let's see how bad it is"
*clicks

i.dailymail.co.uk

o_0
"Wow. Twice in the same month"

*scrolls

i.dailymail.co.uk

notsomuch
"Oh. Subby must've meant the second one."
 
2012-12-13 11:43:28 AM  
Yea, cleavage.

i216.photobucket.com

i216.photobucket.com

i216.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 11:46:09 AM  
Ok, after the last few "smoking hot" titles, thank goodness this actually had a smoking hot mom.
 
2012-12-13 11:47:22 AM  

Banned on the Run: Yea, cleavage.

[i216.photobucket.com image 500x749]

[i216.photobucket.com image 500x375]

[i216.photobucket.com image 500x600]


I was born there. Lots of slums and the weather sucks.... Oh, I thought you said "Cleveland"...
 
2012-12-13 11:48:48 AM  
Boobs. Keeping butterfaces in the gene pool.
 
2012-12-13 11:59:07 AM  
I like you subby!
 
2012-12-13 12:03:36 PM  
They call her Uberjuggs.
 
2012-12-13 12:03:59 PM  
stoopidhousewives.files.wordpress.com
Ummmmmmmm, Okay.The good, the bad and the ugly.  Lol.
 
2012-12-13 12:08:52 PM  

Marcintosh: Am I the only one that, besides the obvious, noticed that SHE'S BAREFOOT as well?

Must be fresh from the kitchen.

Whar mai SAMMICH? 


Where the hell does one find such wimmens?
This image is going to haunt me - thank christ


Quentin Tarantino, is that you?
 
2012-12-13 12:09:45 PM  

rikkitikkitavi: mein gott. sie hat riesige titten

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x790]


If that kid is 4 days old, he must have produced carnage on the way out.
 
2012-12-13 12:10:30 PM  

busy chillin': I read a simple animal book to my five month old son last night. He tried to chew the pages.


What's his login?
 
2012-12-13 12:13:43 PM  
FTA: "In 18 years, he'll be at Yale or Oxford. You'll see."

What if he doesn't want to go to either? Then he's a big failure in mommy's eyes and she'll be blubbering and asking herself where she went wrong. What an elitist coont.
 
2012-12-13 12:17:56 PM  
She's also a piece of shiat reality star whore. They didn't mention that of course. We're just supposed to think she's some regular mom..who no nah in no way wants attention... fark man I was reading when i was farking 4, and that was before farking internet. Big God damn deal you attention whore.

And who's the farking farkwit who keeps posting utter shiat from British tabloids and Utter CRAP from Jezebel? fark you go stick a farking telephone pole up your farking useless ass, assholes.
 
2012-12-13 12:19:08 PM  

Gabrielmot: Got her beat, we're teaching our kid to read in the womb...

Seriously.


I hope it's paperbacks you're giving him in there.
 
2012-12-13 12:21:44 PM  
Submitter WIN!

/Bewbies FTW
 
2012-12-13 12:36:46 PM  
She's got boobs. I've always admired that quality
 
2012-12-13 12:55:11 PM  
blogs.guardian.co.uk

This is not obscure.
 
2012-12-13 12:59:43 PM  

BinkyBoy: [blogs.guardian.co.uk image 460x276]

This is not obscure.


There's nothing obscure about Honey I Shrunk the Kids
 
2012-12-13 01:11:07 PM  

KingKauff: BinkyBoy: [blogs.guardian.co.uk image 460x276]

This is not obscure.

There's nothing obscure about Honey I Shrunk the Kids


Dude, that's Little Shop of Horrors.

/DUH
 
2012-12-13 01:31:27 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: KingKauff: BinkyBoy: [blogs.guardian.co.uk image 460x276]

This is not obscure.

There's nothing obscure about Honey I Shrunk the Kids

Dude, that's Little Shop of Horrors.

/DUH


Please. Everyone knows SCTV. That's Dave Thomas reading the book.
 
2012-12-13 01:35:34 PM  
Wait, wait, wait, wait. An article, from the UK, with smoking hot in the headline, and it was actually true?

highfivetothat.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-13 01:49:57 PM  
I thought there was a study recently that showed that teaching sight reading (at least for English) is counterproductive, for more advanced reading. Because the child has no ability to read an unknown word. And teaching them phonics is more difficult because they are sight reading the words they already know during lessons meaning that they get less out of the lessons and it consequently takes longer.

/[citation needed]
//can't google as I'm only typing with one hand.
 
2012-12-13 03:32:37 PM  
I only have one kid, but he was in the early reader/late talker camp, so in other words, he's messed up and muddling along. When he was younger those "your baby can read" commercials came on all the time and I always thought how big a bunch of crap that was. That's not reading, that's training. Even though he's early yet, since he can spell his own name and tries to sound out words, we're working with him on it. I figure since I'm going to routinely fail him throughout his lifetime on things both big and small, the least I can do is make him smart enough to know how bad he's screwed.
 
2012-12-13 03:41:46 PM  

moel: Mark Ratner: "Mum?" I wish British people would stop using that word and speak American.

Maybe once you teach Kevin Bacon to say Mo-Bile, instead of Mo-bul...we'll think about it...

Actually no, fark off......Mom is one of the shiattest words available in the English Language, due to you yanks.


"Mom" is a very versatile word...backwards it's "Mom"....upside down it's "woW".

Besides, the Queen's English has been bastardized by the Irish.

/I'm Irish so piss off you bloody wanker.

/jk
 
2012-12-13 03:44:09 PM  

Gawdzila: "she used to run through a set of ten flashcards with her son twice a day. 'I would show John words like "milk", give him my breast"

I would like to sign up for this class.


I'm a bit slow, so I'll need lots of repetition to get the whole milk=breast down. Practice makes perfect.
 
2012-12-13 03:47:55 PM  

swahnhennessy: She's not that hot. Fleshy jugs might attract the eye, but have some dignity, guys.


We're all ashamed that our opinions went against yours. You're the boss, hennessy.

/f*ck...I just broke my sarcasm meter. Spiked too quickly and now the motor's burned.
 
2012-12-13 03:51:49 PM  
Let's subject this kid to the Turing Test.
 
2012-12-13 04:00:10 PM  

DaCaptain19: We're all ashamed that our opinions went against yours. You're the boss, hennessy.


That's more like it.

Carry on.
 
2012-12-13 04:04:16 PM  

StashMonster: GRRRR


Sorry, didn't mean to bring horrible flashbacks into your day....

/known a few too many people like that (ex-sister-in-law was the worst)
//just let the kid be a kid
 
2012-12-13 07:10:04 PM  

busy chillin': Perducci: ringersol: At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.

Don't be silly. I'm sure this woman has somehow figured out a secret to parenting, teaching, and even physiology (to get past that nasty "sleeping all the time and eyes that can barely focus" stuff) that none of the billions of parents and experts who came before here were able to get right. And I'm sure that this newborn is going to turn out smarter than any human being in history and is truly a child prodigy who makes even Mozart, Picasso, Magnus Carlsen, and all others pale in comparison . It seems totally totally legitimate.

Can't it just be a good thing the parent's are interacting and talking to the child? Why do you have to go all derpy?

If you don't like it, don't read to your super young kids. She isn't hurting you.


I'm sorry. I didn't realize that we're only supposed to comment about people who are hurting us. I guess the mods and admins should get busy clearing out about 99.999% of the comments on Fark.
 
2012-12-13 07:41:57 PM  
Looks a little like Kim Komando who is also hot.
 
2012-12-14 09:36:13 AM  

Perducci: busy chillin': Perducci: ringersol: At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.

Don't be silly. I'm sure this woman has somehow figured out a secret to parenting, teaching, and even physiology (to get past that nasty "sleeping all the time and eyes that can barely focus" stuff) that none of the billions of parents and experts who came before here were able to get right. And I'm sure that this newborn is going to turn out smarter than any human being in history and is truly a child prodigy who makes even Mozart, Picasso, Magnus Carlsen, and all others pale in comparison . It seems totally totally legitimate.

Can't it just be a good thing the parent's are interacting and talking to the child? Why do you have to go all derpy?

If you don't like it, don't read to your super young kids. She isn't hurting you.

I'm sorry. I didn't realize that we're only supposed to comment about people who are hurting us. I guess the mods and admins should get busy clearing out about 99.999% of the comments on Fark.


Don't read to your kids
 
2012-12-14 12:12:29 PM  

revrendjim: 'I would show John words like "milk", give him my breast...'

That would make Pavlov drool.


It sure made me drool
 
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