If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Mail)   Not News: Smoking hot 39-year-old mum teaches child to read. Fark: The kid is four days old (w/pics)   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 180
    More: Interesting, kids books, event planning, Larry Sanger, subscribers, lessons  
•       •       •

33457 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2012 at 5:06 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



180 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-12-13 09:22:18 AM  

Recoil Therapy: Dana says John - her only child - was pointing and using basic...

Sadly that explains a lot. Try keeping an eye on two or three toddlers & this type of nonsense stops as you're just too exhausted to anything more than the basics. Poor John will want to get to Oxford or Yale (or anywhere that will have him) as soon as possible to escape this lunatic (and to escape all his friends constantly wanting to go to his house... to eye fark mom)

/it's sad how many parents of just one child suddenly become experts on all children & how they do things is the only way possible to raise a child


I did exactly that, for that reason.

I DNRTFA but I am worried about this kid. My mother was like that - she didn't start trying to teach me to read at 4 days but she did other things that were just as worrying. She boasted to me when I had my baby that she only ever had ONE dirty nappy from me. She started timing my shiats as soon as I was born and sat me on a plastic bag and toilet paper instead.

I obviously had never known that up till then, but I did know about the flash cards she made me do all the time when I was about 4, the rigid rules about just about everything, and the fact that she made it clear she had absolutely high expectations and nothing but straight As would do. Mealtimes were hell as I couldn't eat anything without being told again and again that I had too much on my fork or I was holding my cutlery the wrong way.

Probably wouldn't have been as bad if my parents hadn't split when I was 6. Found out a few years ago that my dad went to the GP afterwards and told them he was worried about leaving me with her as she was "emotionally abusive". They checked me for bruises but didn't find any so nothing happened. Kind of explains why he then tried to kidnap me. Of course Mother Dear's version was simply that he was a terrifying maniac who must be avoided at all costs.

I was thinking about how it makes it clear that my mother has some kind of deep seated psychological problems and was a terrible person to bring up a child that she started trying to control everything from the day that I was born. Oh, she also made certain I couldn't develop any attachments to any of my toys, by keeping a strict rota of which one she put me to bed with each night. With one night with no toy. I'm sure there's more and more of this shiat.

Control freaks do not make good parents. They LOOK like good parents when the kids are small and they are dressed up all nice and being so good and achieving in school. Quite a few people I knew at Oxford were farked up by parents who had unreasonably high expectations. Sooner or later people with parents like that tend to go off the rails, when they realise their parents will NEVER be satisfied no matter what they do.

I am not reading that article because it will make me too angry.

A 4 day old would NOT be able to SEE the word "milk". It is absolutely ridiculous trying to teach it at all. When I got to university, my tutor told me that I had started to read too young - she could tell by the spelling mistakes I made.

GRRRR.
 
2012-12-13 09:22:37 AM  
I was reading at an early age (two years old), also. My wife worked with our son starting about the time he could focus on objects. She used one of those magnetic sketch boards to write words and read them to him. When he started speaking, we would write the words he was saying on the board and show them to him. He read "hi" for the first time at about nine months old, and "happy" the same day (two of his first spoken words). He is three years old and reads everything, sounding out words phonetically if he doesn't know them. We didn't push or force it on him, he just did it. It's not the "learning to read" part that we view as important, but more the "learning how to learn and teach yourself" part. If we give him a decent foundation now, learning will be easy and he can coast through school. We let him be a kid, but will never pass up an opportunity to teach. We're working on simple addition (using Civchic's methiod with toys), and handwriting (it's easier since he knows what the letters look like from reading).
 
2012-12-13 09:22:56 AM  

offmymeds: Lionel Mandrake: Early learning mentor: Dana with son John, who she has been teaching to read since he was four days old. She said it will be worth it when he ends up at Oxford or Yale University

That kid is doomed.

[cl.jroo.me image 500x375]


That is awful.

/lol
 
2012-12-13 09:30:41 AM  
Some folks thought it was amazing that I could "read" at a very early age when they saw me sitting with my Dr Seuss books, reciting the story aloud and turning the pages. Actually, I had heard the stories so many times that I would recite them from memory and turn the pages at the appropriate moments.
 
2012-12-13 09:32:26 AM  

oldfarthenry: Did anyone else notice that the mother pictured in the article has rather large breasts?


Really?

i536.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 09:32:29 AM  

Mock26: Bah. Toss all newborn babies out into the woods. Any that come out on their own can stay. Fark all the rest.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 09:33:51 AM  
Not bad looking legs. The skirt needs to be a wee bit shorter
 
2012-12-13 09:37:56 AM  
That kid is very tall for a 4 day old.
 
2012-12-13 09:41:34 AM  

CreamFilling: Just like I taught the dog to tune a piano. She didn't learn it, but I taught her.


Well of course not - she don't got no thumbs.

/mom is an AW, albiet a milfy one
 
2012-12-13 09:41:46 AM  

andyofne: That kid is very tall for a 4 day old.


That had to have been one painful delivery.
 
2012-12-13 09:42:00 AM  

Marcintosh: Am I the only one that, besides the obvious, noticed that SHE'S BAREFOOT as well?



Oh, I definitely noticed.
Candy apple red is a nice touch on a MILF.
 
2012-12-13 09:43:35 AM  
img526.imageshack.us

No skillzs
 
2012-12-13 09:43:41 AM  
FTA: 'I would show John words like "milk", give him my breast, and then show him the baby sign language for milk,'

MILK! MILK! MILK!
 
2012-12-13 09:52:06 AM  

Satanus Maximus: Another "smoking hot" Daily Mail submission.... better check the comments first just to be safe.

Not bad. Fappable. Still gonna check comments first from now on.



Yeah, I'm with you. I just sort of expect a particularly horrid looking woman when someone says "smoking hot" nowadays. In this case I feel like I got fooled because she IS pretty hot!

//Bewbs
 
2012-12-13 09:52:53 AM  

littlett's: andyofne: That kid is very tall for a 4 day old.

That had to have been one painful delivery.


I hope the doctor had the machine that goes "BING!"
 
2012-12-13 09:55:10 AM  
How I know I am a parent:

I noticed the book the kid was reading before I noticed the cleavage...

"Can you slither like a snake? Slinky Slinky sly"
 
2012-12-13 09:58:34 AM  

Civchic: I have a free-range 3yo. We let him learn at his own pace, when he wants to learn. At 18 months one of his little friends could count to ten and his mother was SO PROUD. That kid could say "onetwothreefour...", he had ZERO understanding of what it meant. Mine just played with his cars until he could cognitively understand that two cars is more than one car and then we started counting stuff and then we started showing him the number and telling that meant "2" and now the kid can count to 13 and do simple addition and subtraction. No special courses or flashcards or any of that jazz - just counting everywhere we went (steps, trees, cars, leaves, whatever).

Your kid is going to be smart or stupid - as long as you pay attention to them and talk to them they'll learn to their potential.


I wholeheartedly agree with your parenting style. Sounds to me like your child is and will be very well adjusted, and may likely not have any issues with confidence because you are not pushing him too hard where he may feel like he would set himself up for his own failure. That would lead to tremendous misery in his future.
 
2012-12-13 10:05:48 AM  
Baby's thought:

"I don't want to read, pull them titties out and let me feed"
 
2012-12-13 10:08:10 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: wholeheartedly agree with your parenting style. Sounds to me like your child is and will be very well adjusted, and may likely not have any issues with confidence because you are not pushing him too hard where he may feel like he would set himself up for his own failure. That would lead to tremendous misery in his future.


Thanks!

Also, his father and I both have very busy work lives and fun time of our own, and would rather our kids enjoy the time they spend with us then feel like they are being schooled all the time. Kids are awesome but it doesn't do them any good to think they're the center of the universe. We're following the same path with baby girl and so far we're pretty happy with them. ;)
 
2012-12-13 10:09:02 AM  

StashMonster: A 4 day old would NOT be able to SEE the word "milk". It is absolutely ridiculous trying to teach it at all. When I got to university, my tutor told me that I had started to read too young - she could tell by the spelling mistakes I made.


So you're saying that you're such a farking failure you couldn't learn how to spell no matter how much time your loving mother devoted to helping you achieve? You worthless piece of shiat.

/Pure Fark SnarkTM
 
2012-12-13 10:09:19 AM  
Got her beat, we're teaching our kid to read in the womb...

Seriously.
 
2012-12-13 10:11:45 AM  
I was reading something on some parenting website, trying desperately to figure out why my son refused to sleep through the night at 17 months. Turns out that it can be a sign of intelligence (it can also be a sign of a brazilian other things). Anyway, I don't think my kid's a genius, but reading that article did lead to another one about truly gifted children.

Apparently, there are kids who at twenty months can put together 80 piece jigsaw puzzles and do basic arithmetic in their heads.

That's...Children of the Corn-level creepy.
 
2012-12-13 10:20:09 AM  
I read a simple animal book to my five month old son last night. He tried to chew the pages.
 
2012-12-13 10:22:11 AM  

Gabrielmot: Got her beat, we're teaching our kid to read in the womb...

Seriously.


Like this?

thumbs.dreamstime.com
 
HBK
2012-12-13 10:26:12 AM  
Has anyone noticed that the mom has got some big titties?
 
2012-12-13 10:28:49 AM  
At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.
 
2012-12-13 10:30:27 AM  

Kepo: How I know I am a parent:

I noticed the book the kid was reading before I noticed the cleavage...

"Can you slither like a snake? Slinky Slinky sly"


How I know Ive been sleeping with just one woman for 10+ years...I didnt notice the kid or the book...
 
2012-12-13 10:38:05 AM  
Would hit. Angry fist. Or angry penis. Or something like that.
 
2012-12-13 10:39:49 AM  
img341.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-13 10:43:07 AM  

PoRL: Plan B) The kid has something called "a childhood".


Looks like its about nine months and three days too late for Plan B, dontchathink?
 
2012-12-13 10:43:17 AM  
imageshack.us

It was just sitting there.
 
2012-12-13 10:43:25 AM  

abhorrent1: Gabrielmot: Got her beat, we're teaching our kid to read in the womb...

Seriously.

Like this?

[thumbs.dreamstime.com image 400x268]


thumbs.dreamstime.com

"That's two Quarter Pounders, one no pickle, a large fries, and a 9-piece Chicken McNuggets? $10.16, please pull to the 2nd window..."
 
2012-12-13 10:46:23 AM  

LazarusLong42: Bendal: Wodan11: From TFA: He's 3 yrs old and just now starting to recognize words. She started to read to him at 4 days old.

Nothing to see here (except for the stacked mom), move along.

I taught myself to read by the age of 2. My parents both said I was always pointing at words on signs and asking 'what does that say', and they'd tell me. Then I started putting the words together to make sentences, and then read our set of encyclopedias from A to Z.

/that kid is slacking

My parents say this sort of thing about me. Personally I think it's bullshiat.

/my "reading" at three was memorizing the book


I taught myself to read when I was four. My older brother was in first grade at the time, and I wanted to do what he was doing. My folks told me I was too young, and that I would learn later.

I disagreed.

They didn't know that I had tought myself until I was in kindergarten, and my teacher ratted me out. I thought I would get into trouble if I told them, but they seemed pretty pleased. They let us read pretty much whatever we pleased, which occasionally lead to some awkward questions being asked.

This "tiger-parent" crap has got to go. Let your kids be kids, not potential CEOs that you have to get into the "right" pre-school, kindergarten, primary school etc.
 
2012-12-13 10:49:05 AM  

Lord Dimwit: I was reading something on some parenting website, trying desperately to figure out why my son refused to sleep through the night at 17 months. Turns out that it can be a sign of intelligence (it can also be a sign of a brazilian other things). Anyway, I don't think my kid's a genius, but reading that article did lead to another one about truly gifted children.

Apparently, there are kids who at twenty months can put together 80 piece jigsaw puzzles and do basic arithmetic in their heads.

That's...Children of the Corn-level creepy.


More like "Village of the Damned." Are those kids all blond-haired?
 
2012-12-13 10:51:44 AM  
Parents should help their children be as smart as they can. Nobody else is going to give a f*ck and schools seem to be daycares these days. If you don't give a sh*t, nobody will. Life is easier when you are smart.

I am not saying be a tyrant. Have fun and make it fun and light-hearted and you will be amazed how fast kids can learn. Part of kids being kids is kids learning about the world around them.

/I take care of my kids
//YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
 
2012-12-13 10:54:38 AM  

Mark Ratner: "Mum?" I wish British people would stop using that word and speak American.


I imagine it's hard to say "mother" when you got a mouthful of zoomazooms.
 
2012-12-13 10:55:50 AM  
I rather enjoyed the article and picture of Leanne rimes' nipple that was linked in the sidebar. Much moreso than the original article.
 
2012-12-13 11:06:27 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: Civchic: I have a free-range 3yo. We let him learn at his own pace, when he wants to learn. At 18 months one of his little friends could count to ten and his mother was SO PROUD. That kid could say "onetwothreefour...", he had ZERO understanding of what it meant. Mine just played with his cars until he could cognitively understand that two cars is more than one car and then we started counting stuff and then we started showing him the number and telling that meant "2" and now the kid can count to 13 and do simple addition and subtraction. No special courses or flashcards or any of that jazz - just counting everywhere we went (steps, trees, cars, leaves, whatever).

Your kid is going to be smart or stupid - as long as you pay attention to them and talk to them they'll learn to their potential.

I wholeheartedly agree with your parenting style. Sounds to me like your child is and will be very well adjusted, and may likely not have any issues with confidence because you are not pushing him too hard where he may feel like he would set himself up for his own failure. That would lead to tremendous misery in his future.


This, this, this, this, and this.
 
2012-12-13 11:08:32 AM  
Came for the smoking hot mom.

Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-12-13 11:08:46 AM  
We did the same thing with our kids and have been teaching our grandson. He'll be three next month and is already reading words, counting up to 60 forwards and backwards, knows his colors, shapes up to dodecahedrons, and knows sign language which helped him communicate with us tremendously when he was in the pre-speech stage, and knows his alphabet in sign. My daughter's boyfriend has been speaking Spanish to him so he knows 3 languages including sign. There are a lot of resources online and Youtube has great learning materials. He has his own iPad and can get around on it better than most adults.


Oh yeah, the mom in this article has nice teats.
 
2012-12-13 11:12:51 AM  

ringersol: At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.


Don't be silly. I'm sure this woman has somehow figured out a secret to parenting, teaching, and even physiology (to get past that nasty "sleeping all the time and eyes that can barely focus" stuff) that none of the billions of parents and experts who came before here were able to get right. And I'm sure that this newborn is going to turn out smarter than any human being in history and is truly a child prodigy who makes even Mozart, Picasso, Magnus Carlsen, and all others pale in comparison . It seems totally totally legitimate.
 
2012-12-13 11:13:00 AM  

Fark Dupp: We did the same thing with our kids and have been teaching our grandson. He'll be three next month and is already reading words, counting up to 60 forwards and backwards, knows his colors, shapes up to dodecahedrons, and knows sign language which helped him communicate with us tremendously when he was in the pre-speech stage, and knows his alphabet in sign. My daughter's boyfriend has been speaking Spanish to him so he knows 3 languages including sign. There are a lot of resources online and Youtube has great learning materials. He has his own iPad and can get around on it better than most adults.


Oh yeah, the mom in this article has nice teats.


Weeeeelll, I have a 4 month old Lab puppy that I've just about fully taught not to eat her own poop.

/you're an overachiever
 
2012-12-13 11:14:14 AM  

Sultan Of Herf: Kepo: How I know I am a parent:

I noticed the book the kid was reading before I noticed the cleavage...

"Can you slither like a snake? Slinky Slinky sly"

How I know Ive been sleeping with just one woman for 10+ years...I didnt notice the kid or the book...


There's a kid in the picture?
*clicks link*
I'll be damned
 
2012-12-13 11:23:10 AM  

Perducci: ringersol: At four days the kid's not even going to be *awake* long enough for you to point at a book with any regularity.

"Tiger parents" (aka Control Freaks) are pretty terrifying.

Don't be silly. I'm sure this woman has somehow figured out a secret to parenting, teaching, and even physiology (to get past that nasty "sleeping all the time and eyes that can barely focus" stuff) that none of the billions of parents and experts who came before here were able to get right. And I'm sure that this newborn is going to turn out smarter than any human being in history and is truly a child prodigy who makes even Mozart, Picasso, Magnus Carlsen, and all others pale in comparison . It seems totally totally legitimate.


Can't it just be a good thing the parent's are interacting and talking to the child? Why do you have to go all derpy?

If you don't like it, don't read to your super young kids. She isn't hurting you.
 
2012-12-13 11:31:13 AM  
Just cuz you push a kid into something doesn't make them smarter, just well trained. And it doesn't equal success.

I was early on everything; brilliant they said. Now I work a normal office job and go on fark.com five days a week.

/of course I have had a few pairs of titties that big in my face that didn't involve dollar bills and clear heels so I've got that going for me.
 
2012-12-13 11:32:56 AM  

Rattlehead: Yowza! I'd form a conjunction with her.


Actually LOL out here
 
2012-12-13 11:34:43 AM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: Just cuz you push a kid into something doesn't make them smarter, just well trained. And it doesn't equal success.

I was early on everything; brilliant they said. Now I work a normal office job and go on fark.com five days a week.

/of course I have had a few pairs of titties that big in my face that didn't involve dollar bills and clear heels so I've got that going for me.


oh Jesus...here comes the "they're not smart they just memorized sh*t" defense.

ffs.
 
2012-12-13 11:35:48 AM  
Smoking hot.....
"Let's see how bad it is"
*clicks

i.dailymail.co.uk

o_0
"Wow. Twice in the same month"

*scrolls

i.dailymail.co.uk

notsomuch
"Oh. Subby must've meant the second one."
 
2012-12-13 11:43:28 AM  
Yea, cleavage.

i216.photobucket.com

i216.photobucket.com

i216.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-13 11:46:09 AM  
Ok, after the last few "smoking hot" titles, thank goodness this actually had a smoking hot mom.
 
Displayed 50 of 180 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report