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(FilmDrunk)   The absolute very worst movies of 2012   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 218
    More: Amusing, bad movies, American Reunion, Happy Madison, Steve Harvey, Caddyshack, Diane Keaton, Adam Sandler, Bill Burr  
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17772 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Dec 2012 at 9:33 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-13 03:09:37 AM  

ur14me: Lsherm: I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.

Nope.

The honor of "Worst Movie Ever Made" is, has been, and will forever be...

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

That is all.


Apparently, you wouldn't know a bad movie if it walked up to you and slapped you across the face with its dick!
 
2012-12-13 04:00:08 AM  
List fails for two big reasons:

1) Its a damn slideshow.

2) "One Nice Thing: I actually enjoyed Kristen Stewart."
 
2012-12-13 04:18:43 AM  
I did see Mirror, Mirror, on DVD while on vacation with family. (had to be something watchable with toddlers present) Not bad, but hardly something to take time out of your day to watch. Lily Collins was cute, and seemed to be trying for an Audy Hepburn look, but I found Julia Roberts more attractive, and much closer to my age.
 
2012-12-13 04:24:58 AM  
Wow, the Bourne Legacy made the list? A perfect movie it ain't, but aside from the lackluster ending, it was a solid (albeit unneeded) entry to the series.
 
2012-12-13 04:25:21 AM  

ArtosRC: Alphax: I finally saw TDKR last week. Pretty good overall, if a grim story. My main issue is that it would have been more believable if Bruce Wayne hadn't turned into a crippled recluse since the last movie, who somehow gets back into fighting form. Yeah, I saw the leg wraps, and don't buy them fully.

My problem is the pacing of the movie. It felt too rushed from point to point. Honestly, it might have benefited from another hour or so of storytelling.

...Or simply just more Bane. God, talk about being underused. It's almost criminal.


Agree with all of this. Also, the betrayal at the end just felt lazy. Great build up to a typical revenge plot device. Pacing aside though, it's a good, dour story that felt suffocating at times. And the end, although sentimental, delivers a nice coda to the arc of all three films.
 
2012-12-13 04:57:19 AM  

sonnyboy11: ArtosRC: Alphax: I finally saw TDKR last week. Pretty good overall, if a grim story. My main issue is that it would have been more believable if Bruce Wayne hadn't turned into a crippled recluse since the last movie, who somehow gets back into fighting form. Yeah, I saw the leg wraps, and don't buy them fully.

My problem is the pacing of the movie. It felt too rushed from point to point. Honestly, it might have benefited from another hour or so of storytelling.

...Or simply just more Bane. God, talk about being underused. It's almost criminal.

Agree with all of this. Also, the betrayal at the end just felt lazy. Great build up to a typical revenge plot device. Pacing aside though, it's a good, dour story that felt suffocating at times. And the end, although sentimental, delivers a nice coda to the arc of all three films.


The Dark Knight was, like Empire, the darkest and best of the trilogy.

The trailer still gives me chills.
 
2012-12-13 05:19:43 AM  
What made Rock Of Ages entertaining was that it was bad.

I dare anyone to stand next to the statue in front of the Sevier County Tennessee courthouse and talk about how #4 was bad.
 
2012-12-13 05:47:06 AM  
I always wonder how they can make a list like this when there are all those craptastic direct to video and syfy movies out there....
That being said:
ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER : A lot of fun. Great costumes and visuals. Liked it a lot.
ALEX CROSS,: Didn't see.
AMERICAN REUNION,: Liked it a lot. Was like catching up with old friends.
BATTLESHIP: Far better than I expected. Pretty entertaining.
HERE COMES THE BOOM : Didn't see
JOYFUL NOISE: Didn't see.
MIRROR MIRROR: Didn't see
NATURE CALLS: Didn;t see
PLAYING FOR KEEPS: Didn't see
RED DAWN: Didn't see.
ROCK OF AGES: Entertaining enough.
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN: Meh story. Giant plot holes. But some really cool visuals.
THAT'S MY BOY: Didn't see.
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN: Meh. Total cookie-cutter of a movie.
THE BOURNE LEGACY: Was okay. Didn't love it or hate it.
THE THREE STOOGES: Better than I expected. Great casting. Entertaining if you're in the mood for stupid entertainment.
THE VOW: Didn't see.
 
2012-12-13 06:21:33 AM  

proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey


The Grey? Really?
 
2012-12-13 07:29:53 AM  
The Campaign wasn't bad. It maybe could've been expanded a bit more, but I thought it was pretty funny.


I also thought The Amazing Spiderman was probably at least one par with the first two films. I think it didn't get wider acceptance due to the 3rd film, which was only released about 5 years ago, still leaving a rather bad taste in the mouths of some. Though I also thought it would've been a bit wiser if they could've somehow bypassed a retelling of the origin story.
 
2012-12-13 07:56:28 AM  

Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.


If nothing else they were both beautifully shot and gorgeous pieces of cinema (and yes, that does matter in film) ....so, no, they don't belong on a list with That's My Boy.
 
2012-12-13 08:00:50 AM  

DamnYankees: robsul82: Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.

While I appreciate how incredibly dedicated you are to making everyone aware of how you go against the grain, Prometheus was the biggest disappointment of the year, indeed.

And it was still a beautiful, well acted movie with some very interesting ideas. That it was so disappointing and yet pretty decent is just a testament to how insanely high the potential was.


Prometheus was a well made piece of cinema, and was good for what it was. I was pleasantly surprised. I had heard alot of reviews along the lines of "It asks a lot of big questions, but ultimately doesn't provide any answers".

Who the fark goes to a big budget Hollywood studio popcorn cinema searching for "answers" of any kind?
 
2012-12-13 08:03:31 AM  
I gather The Sweeney didn't get a US release, then?

You're better off.
 
2012-12-13 08:19:23 AM  

bdub77: Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.

SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.


I came away thinking I'd missed a couple Craig Bond movies somewhere. He's the just promoted new guy in Casino Royale, QoS takes place IMMEDIATLY after, nw he's the falling apart, grizzled vet? It felt like something that should have been done toward the end of one of the older Bond actors' run, after more than two movies.
Then,the whole thing wraps up and feels like another setup movie. Just like the other two Craig movies did.
Hate to admit it, but I actually liked Quantum of Solace a little better. Though, the Second Bond Girl is one of the hotter ones of the entire franchise,IMO.
 
2012-12-13 08:25:43 AM  
Okay. Here goes. I enjoyed "That's My Boy" Why? Because I didn't have high expectations to begin with. If you're watching a Sandler film for acting or plot, I'd say you're not stoned or drunk enough. I went in looking for gross-out humor, not well crafted plot or character development. I say the same thing about people who didn't like "The Love Guru." What did you think you were getting other than another Austin Powers with Indian accents?
 
2012-12-13 08:40:57 AM  

robsul82: Really loved Cloud Atlas, fark all y'all.


This. Also quit trying to say Lockout was a bad movie. It wasn't on the list but he mentioned it several times. It clearly wasn't trying to be serious and it was pretty damn funny/entertaining.

Also, the new Red Dawn wasn't that bad. People I watched it with found it entertaining. Not saying its going to be played for 20+ years like the original, just saying it was at least entertaining.
 
2012-12-13 08:42:43 AM  

robsul82: Really loved Cloud Atlas, fark all y'all.


Same here. It was unexpectedly good as Prometheus was unexpectedly bad.
 
2012-12-13 08:45:13 AM  

ur14me: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

That is all.


Wow. Hell no. Love that movie and own it. Will occasionally watch it too.
 
2012-12-13 08:48:18 AM  

Apos:
*Nodding* It was plain to see that it was a horribly misguided notion, perhaps one of the worst cash grabs in cinematic history. Real head-scratcher as to why it was greenlit.


Answer is in the article. The first 3 entries made a lot of money and since they required little special effects or expensive set pieces they weren't too expensive to make. Hell even the direct to DVD tie in cash grabs made money.
 
2012-12-13 08:49:23 AM  

Apos: Fano: Apos: DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.

*crosses fingers for The Master

I've yet to see "The Master", but judging from this thread, that might be for the best. I was REALLY looking forward to seeing Joaquin Phoenix in a serious role-alongside the superb Phillip Seymour Hoffman, no less-and I dug the trailer. I must say that it's very disheartening to read so many negative reviews about it.


Great performances, especially by Phoenix, but nothing happens in the movie. All the characters end up exactly the same as when they started.
 
2012-12-13 08:52:36 AM  

meat0918: No woman, on this planet or any other planet or moon in the universe, is gonna be ready for lovin' after being told that because of her barren womb she's essentially useless and that her religious beliefs are bupkiss.


Shush your mouth when it's sexy time, ya hear?!
 
2012-12-13 08:57:50 AM  

Frothy Panties: proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey

The Grey? Really?


The way it was sold, I think a lot of people expected to see Liam Neeson beating up wolves for the entire movie.
 
2012-12-13 08:58:17 AM  

Marshal805: The Vow


When is Hollywood gonna drop its OBSESSION with amnesia?


When I grow up, I'm gonna get SO much amnesia!

theinfosphere.org
 
2012-12-13 09:10:26 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: The way it was sold, I think a lot of people expected to see Liam Neeson beating up wolves for the entire movie.


Yeah, that's why I didn't like it. I might need to rewatch it know what it's supposed to be. I remember leaving the theater thinking "but nothing happened like the entire time, and every character was useless." Meanwhile I was expecting a chess match between a pack of wolves and Liam, and the pawns were Liam's glass shard fists....which didn't happen. :(
 
2012-12-13 09:11:45 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: Apos: I've one question about "Atlas": Why was the book so critically acclaimed? I mean, a non-linear narrative,literally or otherwise, doesn't sound thrilling in the least.

My friend who is much more literature-savvy than I am tells me that she sees Cloud Atlas as a very interesting (but obviously imperfectly executed) exercise in writing multiple styles within one cohesive whole.

I definitely picked up on that. There were sections I enjoyed and sections which I disliked, but respected. The part that turned me off was that the author seemed to be trying to show you something more, but either he wasn't presenting it under the right lights or it was just inherently anti-climactic.


that was pretty much my feeling when I read the book. It sounded like it had a good premise and first half of each story was great or at least interesting, but each setup for the next story felt somewhat half-assed and none of the stories had a satisfying conclusion.
 
2012-12-13 09:24:19 AM  

vrax: ur14me: Lsherm: I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.

Nope.

The honor of "Worst Movie Ever Made" is, has been, and will forever be...

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

That is all.

Apparently, you wouldn't know a bad movie if it walked up to you and slapped you across the face with its dick!


That's what's great about this type of forum: everyone can give their opinion.

That yours is utterly misguided and reeks of a complete lack of appreciation for what constitutes a "good" movie doesn't change the fact you're allowed to express it.

/still have the helmet dimple on my face
//Enchanted twitched the Snicketometer
///slashies
 
2012-12-13 09:30:04 AM  
i watched this for the first time the other day

i192.photobucket.com

better than anything released in 2012
 
2012-12-13 09:42:26 AM  
laist.com

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.
 
2012-12-13 09:45:04 AM  

bossuniversalAA: i watched this for the first time the other day

[i192.photobucket.com image 718x1024]

better than anything released in 2012


So I take it the Stig has had enough of Clarkson's insults?
 
2012-12-13 10:04:35 AM  

proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey

The GREY??

That movie was fantastic. My heart was in my throat for damn near an hour.
 
2012-12-13 10:13:05 AM  
CTRL+F "Prometheus"

I see that my worst movie of the year has already been covered in here. Curse my needing to do work at work today...
 
2012-12-13 10:39:33 AM  

bdub77: Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.

SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.


Gave me flashbacks to "Crocodile Dundee"
 
2012-12-13 10:41:36 AM  

Minus 1 Charisma: [laist.com image 320x320]

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.


1/10 - Nobody's gonna bite on that....

Waldo Pepper: What do you consider a good movie worth our money? What is wrong with mindless entertainment to allow one to get away from life for 2 hours.


....nevermind.
 
2012-12-13 10:41:53 AM  
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was as ridiculous as intended. I enjoyed the film. Nothing was of the highest quality, but take the set and costume design, the directing, special effects, acting, etc., into any other story and you would have a respectable film. I mean, if you made a film about Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires, I don't know if it could ever be better.
 
2012-12-13 11:17:51 AM  
Count me in as someone who liked Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. It was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed it a lot better than Prometheus, which was so very disappointing. The more I think about Prometheus, the less I like it, which is why I consider Prometheus my worst movie of the year.
 
2012-12-13 11:21:56 AM  

Minus 1 Charisma: [laist.com image 320x320]

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.


I wasn't a huge fan of DKR but stop being a disingenuous fark. When you compare it to every single movie released this year, there's no possible way anyone honestly thinks Batman was the worst of all of them. You're trolling or you just want attention, grow up.
 
2012-12-13 11:24:50 AM  

Moodybastard: Prometheus

Just watched it on dvd


I am happy they all died.

The movie sucked so hard, so hard.


Thanks douche.

Was waiting till that came on HBO.
 
2012-12-13 11:41:25 AM  
This list sucks. I haven't seen TOO many movies from this year, but Silent Hill Revelation absolutely deserved to be on the list. And Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter really wasn't THAT bad. Ok, it could have been a lot better, but it was still entertaining and a decent popcorn flick. #1 on the list? You gotta be farking kidding me.
 
2012-12-13 12:08:48 PM  
The worst thing I saw was FDR: American Badass. I didn't see the whole thing, but what I saw had more bad in it than a typical worst movie of the year.

It's the kind of movie where you feel bad for the actors. Not the kind where you end up angry about wasting an evening.
 
2012-12-13 12:09:29 PM  
I am a movie critic by trade, and until recently, I got paid to tell you people which movies merely stink and which ones you shouldn't screen near an open flame. Well, I'm putting the burden of lousy movies back on you. It's very simple: if you stop going to bad movies, they'll stop making bad movies. If the movie used to be a TV show, just don't go. After Roman numeral II, give it a rest. If it's a remake of a classic, rent the classic. Tell them you want stories about people, not a hundred million dollars of stunts and explosives. People, it's up to you. If the movie stinks, just don't go.
 
2012-12-13 12:45:07 PM  
I absolutely loved Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I haven't laughed so hard in a movie theater for ages.

I mean, I know it wasn't technically a comedy, but god damn that movie was so deadpan serious and over the top that whether they meant it to be one or not, it was comedy gold.
 
2012-12-13 12:49:53 PM  
It's obvious that this fellow doesn't like camp. #1 was fantastic. Campy as hell. Fun. Had an amazing train explosion/crash scene. Battleship was also campy. Fun and campy. A huge majority of people don't like camp. That doesn't mean the movie is awful. I don't like realistic violence. If I judged good and bad films by realistic violence content, I would be calling some really awesome films "bad". If you don't like camp, you won't like these movies. However, if you can still sit and watch Xena Warrior Princess and thoroughly enjoy it, you will probably like these movies. Prometheus was a bad film I tend to judge a film based on technical stuff and story. No plot, bad direction, terrible sound, score doesn't work = bad. Not really my thing, but there's a plot, I can actually hear all the dialogue, music adds to the film, direction seems pretty good = good film.
 
2012-12-13 12:59:13 PM  

bossuniversalAA: i watched this for the first time the other day

i192.photobucket.com

better than anything released in 2012



OMG. You havent seen Exterminator 2 yet then?
No joke. That film is great. I saw it in the Drive-in half-dozen times when I was a kid.
Here is the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEjSBGKgyc0
 
2012-12-13 01:04:05 PM  

TheSelphie: This list sucks. I haven't seen TOO many movies from this year, but Silent Hill Revelation absolutely deserved to be on the list. And Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter really wasn't THAT bad. Ok, it could have been a lot better, but it was still entertaining and a decent popcorn flick. #1 on the list? You gotta be farking kidding me.


I have yet to meet a person who read the book (which was fantastic) and also liked the movie. They were literally two different things entirely. Silver had nothing to do with the book, yet was a huge (and dumb) plot point in the movie. There was no BAYSPLOSIONS! train fight.

I went in expecting to see the book in movie form, and instead got a very, very dumbed down version of it to appeal to the action masses. I expected some changes to be made, but not an entirely different story.
 
2012-12-13 01:33:22 PM  
List fails without the Man With the Iron Fists or whatever that abomination was called
 
2012-12-13 02:04:19 PM  
I don't get how you can say Taken 2 was terrible. Movie was exactly what I expected it to be. Very entertaining albeit stupid movie.

TDKR was awful. To be fair, I don't like super hero movies that much but as far as that genre goes that movie was one of the worst. I liked the first a lot. This one was just tedious . glum, and boring.

I don't know if Cedar Rapids came out this year or last, but that was awesome. So was Another Happy Day.
 
2012-12-13 02:24:22 PM  

Tourney3p0: I liked Sinister. It was a bit predictable, but horror movies lately have set a low bar.


I loved it. It starts out as a haunted house movie and transforms into something entirely original. The sound and art direction were also a step above most horror films. Easily my favorite horror film since Drag Me To Hell.
 
2012-12-13 02:41:45 PM  

caddisfly: Tourney3p0: I liked Sinister. It was a bit predictable, but horror movies lately have set a low bar.

I loved it. It starts out as a haunted house movie and transforms into something entirely original. The sound and art direction were also a step above most horror films. Easily my favorite horror film since Drag Me To Hell.


Did you watch Cabin in the Woods? That's a damn good horror film.
 
2012-12-13 03:01:56 PM  
Prometheus was the worst movie of 2012. Not because it was awful, but because of how awesome it could have been if they had staid with the original script.
 
2012-12-13 03:14:26 PM  

bdub77: Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.

SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.


I took from the movie that M deserved the punishment inflicted upon her for allowing MI6's computer security to be so badly managed. No intelligence agency should have a list of every undercover NATO operative on any device that ever leaves a secure facility. Encryption keys for secured devices that do need to leave a secured MI6 facility should never on any computer accessible over any network; ideally, they should be stored on a disconnected storage medium that is kept in a locked storage location within a secure facility. Detection of intrusion known to be for the purpose of obtaining encryption keys that have been irresponsibly placed on a network location should be met with an immediate termination of the connection, even if that termination requires physically cutting a cable, not an order from the department director instructing their security technicians to allow the intrusion to continue. Absolutely no intelligent computer engineer who deserved to work for a security agency would ever connect an unknown computer device to the agency network; they would instead have a quarantined, closed network if network analysis of the unknown system was needed. Additionally, prison cells -- especially those intended for high-risk targets -- should never be controlled from the local network, especially the same network to which an idiot system administrator is willing to connect an entirely unknown and untrusted computer system.

I enjoyed Skyfall as a "Bond" action movie. As a computer system administrator, however, the incompetence in configuring computer security depicted at MI6 greatly upset me and I was not disappointed in the fate of the manager who allowed that incompetence to flourish.
 
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