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(FilmDrunk)   The absolute very worst movies of 2012   (filmdrunk.uproxx.com) divider line 222
    More: Amusing, bad movies, American Reunion, Happy Madison, Steve Harvey, Caddyshack, Diane Keaton, Adam Sandler, Bill Burr  
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17772 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Dec 2012 at 9:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-12 08:18:37 PM
DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.
 
2012-12-12 08:36:51 PM
I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.
 
2012-12-12 08:39:09 PM
At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER,
ADAM SANDLER,
ALEX CROSS,
AMERICAN REUNION,
BATTLESHIP,
HAPPY MADISON,
HERE COMES THE BOOM,
JOYFUL NOISE,
MIRROR MIRROR,
NATURE CALLS,
PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
RED DAWN,
ROCK OF AGES,
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN,
THAT'S MY BOY,
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,
THE BOURNE LEGACY,
THE THREE STOOGES,
THE VOW,
 
2012-12-12 08:45:37 PM

Pocket Ninja: At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER,
ADAM SANDLER,
ALEX CROSS,
AMERICAN REUNION,
BATTLESHIP,
HAPPY MADISON,
HERE COMES THE BOOM,
JOYFUL NOISE,
MIRROR MIRROR,
NATURE CALLS,
PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
RED DAWN,
ROCK OF AGES,
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN,
THAT'S MY BOY,
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,
THE BOURNE LEGACY,
THE THREE STOOGES,
THE VOW,


#1 was another absurdly hilarious Bekmambetov offering and does NOT belong with the rest of the swill.

Yes, I said it.
 
2012-12-12 08:47:23 PM
Yesterday I went out for cocktails with an ex and she recommended The Campaign but she dated me so we already know she has terrible taste.  LOL FML YOLO.
 
2012-12-12 08:47:25 PM
Of this list, I've only seen Snow White, Spiderman and The Vow. None were terrible, none were great.
 
2012-12-12 08:56:52 PM

Pocket Ninja: At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER,
ADAM SANDLER,
ALEX CROSS,
AMERICAN REUNION,
BATTLESHIP,
HAPPY MADISON,
HERE COMES THE BOOM,
JOYFUL NOISE,
MIRROR MIRROR,
NATURE CALLS,
PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
RED DAWN,
ROCK OF AGES,
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN,
THAT'S MY BOY,
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,
THE BOURNE LEGACY,
THE THREE STOOGES,
THE VOW,


there is a link to "view as one page" directly below the tags.
 
2012-12-12 09:13:30 PM
The Amazing Spider-Man wasn't *that* bad.


Lsherm: I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.


Considering the people responsible, I do not doubt that.



thomps: there is a link to "view as one page" directly below the tags.


But that would involve reading and words and shiat.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT
 
2012-12-12 09:17:07 PM
And, on a serious note, was the new Bourne movie really that terrible? I didn't see it, but was thinking about getting it on Amazon. I love the first three.
 
2012-12-12 09:21:11 PM

DamnYankees: The Vow


I can't speak for everyone, but Channing Tatum taking a break from acting next year is like Daniel Day-Lewis taking a break from acting.

We are all the poorer for it.


Apos: #1 was another absurdly hilarious Bekmambetov offering and does NOT belong with the rest of the swill.

Yes, I said it.


American Reunion made me sad for all the people who refuse to let 1999 rot away peacefully. It's okay. Sugar Ray would understand if you wanted to move on.
 
2012-12-12 09:25:22 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I can't speak for everyone, but Channing Tatum taking a break from acting next year is like Daniel Day-Lewis taking a break from acting.

We are all the poorer for it.


I kind of like him, actually.
 
2012-12-12 09:26:57 PM

DamnYankees: I kind of like him, actually.


Likewise.

I was pleasantly surprised by what Channing Tatum brought to 21 Jump Street.

And that's a sentence I'd never imagine typing.
 
2012-12-12 09:28:41 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: DamnYankees: The Vow

I can't speak for everyone, but Channing Tatum taking a break from acting next year is like Daniel Day-Lewis taking a break from acting.

We are all the poorer for it.


Apos: #1 was another absurdly hilarious Bekmambetov offering and does NOT belong with the rest of the swill.

Yes, I said it.

American Reunion made me sad for all the people who refuse to let 1999 rot away peacefully. It's okay. Sugar Ray would understand if you wanted to move on.


*Nodding* It was plain to see that it was a horribly misguided notion, perhaps one of the worst cash grabs in cinematic history. Real head-scratcher as to why it was greenlit.
 
2012-12-12 09:34:51 PM
I just watched Battleship the night before last

/it still stinks in here
//damn... that was.... damn
 
2012-12-12 09:36:45 PM

Apos: *Nodding* It was plain to see that it was a horribly misguided notion, perhaps one of the worst cash grabs in cinematic history. Real head-scratcher as to why it was greenlit.


There's that whole unfortunate mode of thought that dictates: "Well, it's a recognizable brand, therefore, people will see this because it's stuff they recognize."

Sadly, when a movie made for $50 million pulls in $234 million, the studio execs will scream "IT WORKED" and keep chugging along that path as soon as they come down from their rampant illicit substance binges.
 
2012-12-12 09:38:40 PM
I have not seen a single one of those movies. And I like bad movies.
 
2012-12-12 09:41:14 PM

js34603: I have not seen a single one of those movies. And I like bad movies.


To my understanding, That's My Boy isn't a movie you see.

It's a movie you endure.

And as someone who loves bad movies (and caught only a fraction of Bucky Larson before fighting the urge to call Netflix and tearfully ask why they make that available to the masses), I will not go anywhere near it.
 
2012-12-12 09:45:47 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: js34603: I have not seen a single one of those movies. And I like bad movies.

To my understanding, That's My Boy isn't a movie you see.

It's a movie you endure.

And as someone who loves bad movies (and caught only a fraction of Bucky Larson before fighting the urge to call Netflix and tearfully ask why they make that available to the masses), I will not go anywhere near it.


The ads for Bucky Larson were clearly not aimed at my demographic, and I was grateful when I no longer had to endure even them.

I do hope someone was made to suffer for all of that nonsense.
 
2012-12-12 09:45:48 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: *Nodding* It was plain to see that it was a horribly misguided notion, perhaps one of the worst cash grabs in cinematic history. Real head-scratcher as to why it was greenlit.

There's that whole unfortunate mode of thought that dictates: "Well, it's a recognizable brand, therefore, people will see this because it's stuff they recognize."

Sadly, when a movie made for $50 million pulls in $234 million, the studio execs will scream "IT WORKED" and keep chugging along that path as soon as they come down from their rampant illicit substance binges.


*Sigh* Yeah.
 
2012-12-12 09:47:31 PM
A slideshow?

Fark you, Subby.
 
2012-12-12 09:48:20 PM

Pocket Ninja: At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,


Classic example of replacing an aging front bender with a new one...and then saying it's a new car.

/And people wonder why I didn't see it and don't buy it.
 
2012-12-12 09:48:37 PM

DamnYankees: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I can't speak for everyone, but Channing Tatum taking a break from acting next year is like Daniel Day-Lewis taking a break from acting.

We are all the poorer for it.

I kind of like him, actually.


Buddy of mine works on films, so I asked him who the best and worst stars he'd worked with were. Best, he instantly answered "Kate Beckinsale" (duh!). Worst, he was reluctant to say, but finally blurted out "Channing Tatum".
 
2012-12-12 09:49:06 PM

born_yesterday: The ads for Bucky Larson were clearly not aimed at my demographic, and I was grateful when I no longer had to endure even them.

I do hope someone was made to suffer for all of that nonsense.



Cripes, those ads were tantamount to the 17th Circle of Hell.

In a just world, the people responsible for them would be bagging ice cubes in Antarctica for my soda.


Apos: *Sigh* Yeah.


I'm only half-joking when I say that you should expect American Midlife Crisis in theaters next summer.
 
2012-12-12 09:49:34 PM

Hebalo: Buddy of mine works on films, so I asked him who the best and worst stars he'd worked with were. Best, he instantly answered "Kate Beckinsale" (duh!). Worst, he was reluctant to say, but finally blurted out "Channing Tatum".


What do you mean by best and worst? Like, she's nice and he's an asshole?
 
2012-12-12 09:51:00 PM

Mister Toast: A slideshow?

Fark you, Subby.


Not subby, but there IS a "View Single Page" option.


Hebalo: Buddy of mine works on films, so I asked him who the best and worst stars he'd worked with were. Best, he instantly answered "Kate Beckinsale" (duh!). Worst, he was reluctant to say, but finally blurted out "Channing Tatum".


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

I can only wonder why that is.

"Stop dancing, Mr. Tatum, we're ready to roll. Mr. Tatum? DAMN IT, CHANNING, STOP POPPING AND LOCKING, WE HAVE A FILM TO MAKE!"
 
2012-12-12 09:51:25 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: js34603: I have not seen a single one of those movies. And I like bad movies.

To my understanding, That's My Boy isn't a movie you see.

It's a movie you endure.

And as someone who loves bad movies (and caught only a fraction of Bucky Larson before fighting the urge to call Netflix and tearfully ask why they make that available to the masses), I will not go anywhere near it.


I'll be honest, I'm an Adam Sandler fan because he's said repeatedly that his Happy Madison production team exists solely so he and his friends can make movies, however bad they may be. So I'll watch his films with a sympathetic bent.

That's My Boy can't even be watched with that sympathy. It's so poorly put together, acted, produced, directed and scripted that it can only be taken as a massive "fark you" to anyone who watches it. It's like Sandler is daring his three remaining fans to ditch him.

Well, now he has two.
 
2012-12-12 09:53:06 PM

Hebalo: DamnYankees: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I can't speak for everyone, but Channing Tatum taking a break from acting next year is like Daniel Day-Lewis taking a break from acting.

We are all the poorer for it.

I kind of like him, actually.

Buddy of mine works on films, so I asked him who the best and worst stars he'd worked with were. Best, he instantly answered "Kate Beckinsale" (duh!). Worst, he was reluctant to say, but finally blurted out "Channing Tatum".


OK folks, we have a possible way to get our hands on some sort of item Kate Beckinsale has touched, drank out or (dear God please) worn. The hat passing starts now.
 
2012-12-12 09:53:26 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: The Amazing Spider-Man wasn't *that* bad.


No, it wasn't; except for the fact that it was "Spider-Man" (minus) MJ and Norman Osborn/Green Goblin (plus) Gwen Stacy and Curt Connors/The Lizard and a couple of changes to make it seem like a new movie. You might as well have seen "Spider-Man" again and saved yourself the money.
 
2012-12-12 09:54:25 PM

Hebalo: Buddy of mine works on films, so I asked him who the best and worst stars he'd worked with were. Best, he instantly answered "Kate Beckinsale" (duh!). Worst, he was reluctant to say, but finally blurted out "Channing Tatum".


I listened to a podcast with the director of 21 Jump Street and he said it was Tatum's idea to puke on Jonah Hill after he shot the guy. Since it was a long steady cam shot, he had to carry fake vomit in his mouth for the whole scene.

I can't believe someone who would be willing to do that could be hard to work with.
 
2012-12-12 09:55:35 PM
This person doesn't know what bad films are. Those of us who have watched Uwe Boll films know what constitutes a bad film.
 
2012-12-12 09:55:41 PM

Apos: DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.


Saw Cloud Atlas last weekend and had a very "meh" reaction. A friend was interested and dragged me along. I ended up cramming to finish the book the night before in case it was better -- which it wasn't.

Some interesting ideas in it, but not very well presented.
 
2012-12-12 09:56:06 PM
I'll admit it. I enjoyed The Campaign. I have a soft spot for any movie that obviously uses the Back to the Future set.
 
2012-12-12 09:56:16 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT


i.qkme.me
 
2012-12-12 09:57:23 PM

Apos: Pocket Ninja: At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER,
ADAM SANDLER,
ALEX CROSS,
AMERICAN REUNION,
BATTLESHIP,
HAPPY MADISON,
HERE COMES THE BOOM,
JOYFUL NOISE,
MIRROR MIRROR,
NATURE CALLS,
PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
RED DAWN,
ROCK OF AGES,
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN,
THAT'S MY BOY,
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,
THE BOURNE LEGACY,
THE THREE STOOGES,
THE VOW,

#1 was another absurdly hilarious Bekmambetov offering and does NOT belong with the rest of the swill.

Yes, I said it.


That's the only movie on the list I've seen, and it wasn't much better than sucking on the fetid anus of a diseased goat.

About as enjoyable as the second half of Avengers...
 
2012-12-12 09:58:50 PM

Rwa2play: No, it wasn't; except for the fact that it was "Spider-Man" (minus) MJ and Norman Osborn/Green Goblin (plus) Gwen Stacy and Curt Connors/The Lizard and a couple of changes to make it seem like a new movie. You might as well have seen "Spider-Man" again and saved yourself the money.


Fair enough.

Still, Denis Leary. I shan't complain there.


Gergesa: This person doesn't know what bad films are. Those of us who have watched Uwe Boll films know what constitutes a bad film.


If Uwe Boll made comedies, he'd in charge of the Happy Madison camp.


Lsherm: I'll be honest, I'm an Adam Sandler fan because he's said repeatedly that his Happy Madison production team exists solely so he and his friends can make movies, however bad they may be. So I'll watch his films with a sympathetic bent.


Understandable.


Lsherm: That's My Boy can't even be watched with that sympathy. It's so poorly put together, acted, produced, directed and scripted that it can only be taken as a massive "fark you" to anyone who watches it. It's like Sandler is daring his three remaining fans to ditch him.

Well, now he has two.


However bad or derivative the film might have been, I had a good time watching Click with friends.

To think that he would have burned off the goodwill he earned with Click, well...

... damn, I'm writing all sorts of movie-related sentences that I'd never imagine writing this evening.
 
2012-12-12 09:59:02 PM

Lsherm: I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.


jack and jill is worse than "that's my boy" might it only be for Tony Orlando and Rex Ryan lol
 
2012-12-12 09:59:26 PM

fusillade762: i.qkme.me


YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TRUST HIM
 
2012-12-12 10:00:12 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Rwa2play: No, it wasn't; except for the fact that it was "Spider-Man" (minus) MJ and Norman Osborn/Green Goblin (plus) Gwen Stacy and Curt Connors/The Lizard and a couple of changes to make it seem like a new movie. You might as well have seen "Spider-Man" again and saved yourself the money.

Fair enough.

Still, Denis Leary. I shan't complain there.


True that; still, I have a feeling Sony's gonna screw the pooch with the second movie. Just like they did with "Spider-Man 3".
 
2012-12-12 10:02:16 PM
Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.
 
2012-12-12 10:03:27 PM

Rwa2play: True that; still, I have a feeling Sony's gonna screw the pooch with the second movie. Just like they did with "Spider-Man 3".


I dunno... the setup for the next one is interesting enough.

I'm not mercilessly defending these movies, mind you. I'm merely reserving judgment.
 
2012-12-12 10:03:49 PM
Really loved Cloud Atlas, fark all y'all.
 
2012-12-12 10:04:05 PM
Hell I've BEEN in worse movies than that.  My "work" in   Human Trainwreck Feebly Dances To Vegas Fark Party Kareoke Before Bursting Into Flames comes to mind.
 
2012-12-12 10:04:05 PM

Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.


"TDKR" had an excuse: it had to follow "TDK" which was an awesome farking movie.
 
2012-12-12 10:04:35 PM

Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.


still haven't watched dark knight yet but Prometheus was just overhyped. It wasn't terrible. It just wasn't good.
 
2012-12-12 10:04:37 PM

Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.


You're so hip.
 
2012-12-12 10:05:39 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener:
I'm only half-joking when I say that you should expect American Midlife Crisis in theaters next summer.


*Closes eyes* What a nauseating prospect.


Seth'n'Spectrum: Apos: DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.

Saw Cloud Atlas last weekend and had a very "meh" reaction. A friend was interested and dragged me along. I ended up cramming to finish the book the night before in case it was better -- which it wasn't.

Some interesting ideas in it, but not very well presented.


Precisely. Silly of us to have expected a cogent narrative from the duo responsible for The Matrix Revolutions, eh?
 
2012-12-12 10:05:58 PM

Lsherm: I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.


Nope.

The honor of "Worst Movie Ever Made" is, has been, and will forever be...

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

That is all.
 
2012-12-12 10:06:16 PM

Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.


While I appreciate how incredibly dedicated you are to making everyone aware of how you go against the grain, Prometheus was the biggest disappointment of the year, indeed.
 
2012-12-12 10:07:11 PM

robsul82: Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.

While I appreciate how incredibly dedicated you are to making everyone aware of how you go against the grain, Prometheus was the biggest disappointment of the year, indeed.


And it was still a beautiful, well acted movie with some very interesting ideas. That it was so disappointing and yet pretty decent is just a testament to how insanely high the potential was.
 
2012-12-12 10:07:33 PM

robsul82: Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.

While I appreciate how incredibly dedicated you are to making everyone aware of how you go against the grain, Prometheus was the biggest disappointment of the year, indeed.


Sadly, you are correct.
 
2012-12-12 10:08:07 PM

DamnYankees: robsul82: Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.

While I appreciate how incredibly dedicated you are to making everyone aware of how you go against the grain, Prometheus was the biggest disappointment of the year, indeed.

And it was still a beautiful, well acted movie with some very interesting ideas. That it was so disappointing and yet pretty decent is just a testament to how insanely high the potential was.


Yeah, I'd go along with that.
 
2012-12-12 10:08:29 PM

Gergesa: This person doesn't know what bad films are. Those of us who have watched Uwe Boll films know what constitutes a bad film.


There's bad and then there's "Go get a bigger mop, the whole audience committed hara-kiri again."
 
2012-12-12 10:09:34 PM

DamnYankees: Hebalo: Buddy of mine works on films, so I asked him who the best and worst stars he'd worked with were. Best, he instantly answered "Kate Beckinsale" (duh!). Worst, he was reluctant to say, but finally blurted out "Channing Tatum".

What do you mean by best and worst? Like, she's nice and he's an asshole?


Pretty much. My buddy does SFX work and creature shop stuff. So any stars he's working with are there for a while. It's the whole "we're working together for a long time, and it's easier to be pleasant to one another than pull "star" bullshiat.

He also has a great attitude towards hiring members for the team. He said that by the time the resume makes it to him, everyone is pretty close to the same skill level. He has the applicant tell him a joke. The theory is that they'll be spending a lot of time together, so why not hire someone interesting/funny.
 
2012-12-12 10:10:23 PM

DamnYankees: You're so hip.


Stop disliking what I like!
 
2012-12-12 10:10:56 PM
Prometheus was visually awesome and I thought the acting was good to great. The plot was just a hot farking mess, to the point I'm not even interested in a sequel. Glad I saw it, but way over hyped.
 
2012-12-12 10:10:58 PM
The list is fail without "The Master".

It was so bad I wanted to pluck out my eyeballs and stuff them in my ears so I could be spared both the sight and sounds of that pretentious, aimless, and boring POS monstrosity.
 
2012-12-12 10:12:53 PM

Shrugging Atlas: Prometheus was visually awesome and I thought the acting was good to great. The plot was just a hot farking mess, to the point I'm not even interested in a sequel. Glad I saw it, but way over hyped.


I'd agree with that.

Noomi Rapace deserved better.
 
2012-12-12 10:14:37 PM

Plant Rights Activist: Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.

still haven't watched dark knight yet but Prometheus was just overhyped. It wasn't terrible. It just wasn't good.


Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.
 
2012-12-12 10:15:47 PM

robsul82: DamnYankees: robsul82: Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.

While I appreciate how incredibly dedicated you are to making everyone aware of how you go against the grain, Prometheus was the biggest disappointment of the year, indeed.

And it was still a beautiful, well acted movie with some very interesting ideas. That it was so disappointing and yet pretty decent is just a testament to how insanely high the potential was.

Yeah, I'd go along with that.


I'll take issue there. I didn't even want to see it, but I expected to be entertained. It failed even on that level. And my wife, who REALLY wanted to see it, almost burst into tears at the end because she was so disappointed and she had hyped it up to me ahead of time. My wife cannot stand to be wrong. About anything. If she wants to cry about being wrong, she has to know she's really chosen to back the wrong horse.

So that's my impression of Prometheus - a movie so bad my wife realized she was wrong about something.
 
2012-12-12 10:16:25 PM
The only movie I've seen on this list was "Bourne" (on a plane) And it was very disappoint

Why would anyone even take a chance on the other movies?
 
2012-12-12 10:19:50 PM

robsul82: Really loved Cloud Atlas, fark all y'all.


Still haven't seen it, and I have no idea what to expect. A few different movie reviewers I like a lot more or less had the same opinion; flawed, but so "holy sh*t epic" in almost every regard that you at least walk away impressed with the effort.
 
2012-12-12 10:20:34 PM
I'm honestly surprised the latest Resident Evil movie didn't make that list. The entire franchise is pretty lackluster, but Retribution is the absolute worst of all of them.
 
2012-12-12 10:28:20 PM
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter could have been so much better if they had just followed more of the book. Which is strange because the novel writer and screenwriter was the same guy. He butchered his own book. Like the core relationship of the book was between Lincoln and the vampire, Sturges. They were friends. Further more, Sturges actually cared for Lincoln so much that he couldn't let him die after he had been shot. He turned Lincoln. In the movie, they seem sort of like friends. More like Sturges was just using Lincoln as another Human weapon in a long line of Human weapons.

/still like Dominic Cooper as Sturges though...
//he would have been even more brilliant if they kept it closer to Book!Sturges though...
 
2012-12-12 10:32:34 PM

Apos: Precisely. Silly of us to have expected a cogent narrative from the duo responsible for The Matrix Revolutions, eh?


Well, it wasn't that the narrative wasn't cogent. It was just that it was insubstantial, just like the book's narrative.

It said everything it wanted to say very loudly, then left you feeling not terribly moved and not terribly entertained. Worse of all, it didn't leave you very upset at spending time on it either.

Going back to bad movies from this year, I also saw Pitch Perfect. Besides a half dozen incredible "wait, they said that?" lines, the writing was terrible and the acting was worse. Let's not even get started on the music.
 
2012-12-12 10:32:54 PM
Took my granddaughter to Snow White. I actually LOL'ed at the deer. Loudly. Embarassingly loudly. I couldn't help it, it was that stupid.

Spiderman was also bad, except for the parts with Leary, who is really a good actor.

Didn't see anything else on the list, primarily because you can tell ahead of time when a movie is going to be really bad. I knew before they even cast it that the 3 Stooges movie would suck, and I said so in a thread. Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter? Please...you just know that it is going to be bad. The first time I saw the trailer for it, the whole theater busted out laughing. Not a good sign. And Sandler, well...let's just say if Gilbert Gottfried's voice were a person, it would be Adam Sandler.
 
2012-12-12 10:33:20 PM
Is it too much to want a 2013 free from Adam Sandler?
 
2012-12-12 10:34:44 PM
Silver Linings Playbook was definitely my least favorite movie of the year. Completely irritating, awful movie that seems to be getting good reviews.
 
2012-12-12 10:34:51 PM

Imperious Rex!: I'm honestly surprised the latest Resident Evil movie didn't make that list. The entire franchise is pretty lackluster, but Retribution is the absolute worst of all of them.


That's the only one of the Resident Evil franchise I didn't even finish. I got 2/3 of the way through and ended up cleaning my bathroom or something.
 
2012-12-12 10:36:19 PM
I liked Sinister. It was a bit predictable, but horror movies lately have set a low bar.
 
2012-12-12 10:38:19 PM

robsul82: Really loved Cloud Atlas, fark all y'all.


I thoroughly enjoyed it as well, so fark you too!
 
2012-12-12 10:38:58 PM
Wow, did I just see Channing Tatum get compared to Daniel Day-Lewis?
 
2012-12-12 10:43:15 PM

Apos: #1 was another absurdly hilarious Bekmambetov offering and does NOT belong with the rest of the swill.

Yes, I said it.


I saw it hoping for an absurd good time, but it was honestly not that great even for a brainless action movie. After this, and the horrible things that he did to the Wanted comic storyline, I'm starting to think that maybe he's been a little overhyped as a director because of the Night Watch movies. If he doesn't put out a really awesome movie soon, he's headed straight for M. Night Shyamalan-ville.
 
2012-12-12 10:45:59 PM
What about TAKEN 2?
 
2012-12-12 10:47:46 PM

mekki: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter could have been so much better if they had just followed more of the book. Which is strange because the novel writer and screenwriter was the same guy. He butchered his own book. Like the core relationship of the book was between Lincoln and the vampire, Sturges. They were friends. Further more, Sturges actually cared for Lincoln so much that he couldn't let him die after he had been shot. He turned Lincoln. In the movie, they seem sort of like friends. More like Sturges was just using Lincoln as another Human weapon in a long line of Human weapons.

/still like Dominic Cooper as Sturges though...
//he would have been even more brilliant if they kept it closer to Book!Sturges though...


Generally movie writers in Hollywood have to do what they are told. The studio/director/producer/lead actor will tell them they want something changed and they have to do it. You have to be a established writer/director like Woody Allen or QT to be able to write what you want. Writers are treated like dirt. Writers are often not invited to the wrap party or even the premier. The WGA even had to insist on a clause in the standard contract allowing the writer to visit the set if they wished, and even then IIRC it only requires two days during shooting, with prior arrangement of the director.

/TV writers are a whole different matter.
 
2012-12-12 10:51:18 PM
FYI if you don't like the stupid movies that I like it means you're trying to be hip and it's pathetic. I pity you.
 
2012-12-12 10:51:28 PM
Could someone explain the motivation behind the actions of the aliens in Prometheus? Create then destroy the creation? Some sort of statement about certain gods? "To Serve Man"? What? Not surprisingly, went right over my friggin head.
 
2012-12-12 10:51:34 PM
List fails, Amazing Spider-Man was actually pretty good. And the CGI and 3D effects were even better than Prometheus. What it sorely missed was J. Jonah Jameson.
 
2012-12-12 10:52:42 PM
img201.imageshack.us

^ Well, that was surprisingly honest.
 
2012-12-12 10:52:52 PM

Imperious Rex!: I'm honestly surprised the latest Resident Evil movie didn't make that list. The entire franchise is pretty lackluster, but Retribution is the absolute worst of all of them.


It was better than the last one. Yes though, it was awful.
 
2012-12-12 10:55:31 PM

Pocket Ninja: And, on a serious note, was the new Bourne movie really that terrible? I didn't see it, but was thinking about getting it on Amazon. I love the first three.


Rental. No new ground but entertaining. But I like Jeremy Renner. The story minimizes the Jason Bourne stuff as THIS guy is streets ahead of him but you wouldn't know it to watch his asskicked.
 
2012-12-12 10:57:45 PM
I thought The Campaign was freaking hilarious
 
2012-12-12 11:00:45 PM
Killing Them Softly was the worst movie Ive seen this year, and I saw Dredd 3D (which was awesome in a terrible sort of way). I just kept waiting for something interesting or exciting to happen, and it never did. It's like it wanted to be Drive, but had none of the sweet sweet Ryan Gosling.
 
2012-12-12 11:02:59 PM

Flint Ironstag: /TV writers are a whole different matter.


I thought the reason why the quality (and quantity) of many TV dramas (particularly on the cable/premium networks) over the last decade plus has increased was in part because talented writers becoming disillusioned/disenfranchised/utterly annoyed with the film industry were flocking to THAT medium instead.

You have 9,000 cable channels now that need to fill their schedules with content. You do get a buttload of reality TV programming as result, but, also, some also stuff like The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad on f*cking AMC of all places.
 
2012-12-12 11:03:11 PM
For every movie on that list, you're bound to find several folks who will announce "Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it totally doesn't deserve to be on the worst of 2012 list". In the case of Snow White and the Huntsman, please make a note that I'm that guy.
 
2012-12-12 11:08:40 PM
Hands down the worst movie my wife and I have ever seen was "The Tribe". Just don't do it. You've been warned.
 
2012-12-12 11:10:02 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: American Reunion made me sad for all the people who refuse to let 1999 rot away peacefully.


Ali Cobrin did not make me sad.
 
2012-12-12 11:12:59 PM

MrHappyRotter: For every movie on that list, you're bound to find several folks who will announce "Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it totally doesn't deserve to be on the worst of 2012 list". In the case of Snow White and the Huntsman, please make a note that I'm that guy.


The effects for Snow White and the Huntsman were great and the premise was good. It had so much potential, they just didnt capitalize on it. Make it a half hour shorter and replace Kristen Stewart with someone that could be considered "fair" and we have a pretty good movie.
 
2012-12-12 11:13:49 PM
Prometheus

Just watched it on dvd


I am happy they all died.

The movie sucked so hard, so hard.
 
2012-12-12 11:14:08 PM

Swoop1809: MrHappyRotter: For every movie on that list, you're bound to find several folks who will announce "Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it totally doesn't deserve to be on the worst of 2012 list". In the case of Snow White and the Huntsman, please make a note that I'm that guy.

The effects for Snow White and the Huntsman were great and the premise was good. It had so much potential, they just didnt capitalize on it. Make it a half hour shorter and replace Kristen Stewart with someone that could be considered "fair" and we have a pretty good movie.


Kristen Stewart single-handedly killed the movie for me. Horribly miscast.
 
2012-12-12 11:20:35 PM

you are a puppet: Imperious Rex!: I'm honestly surprised the latest Resident Evil movie didn't make that list. The entire franchise is pretty lackluster, but Retribution is the absolute worst of all of them.

It was better than the last one. Yes though, it was awful.


See, I actually really liked that one (aside from the clone stuff in the beginning, though I know it needed to be dealt with). Seeing it in 3D was pretty nice to, one of the only good 3D live action movies imo. Even the 3D for Retribution sucked ass.
 
2012-12-12 11:24:29 PM
I gladly saw none of those.

The few decent films I saw included Looper, umm and I'm not sure what else. Prometheus was just kind of a mess, & I wanted to like it. Don't care about the beaten-to-death coloring-book movies, and I can't think of anything else that was very interesting. 'Safety Not Guaranteed' was ok but overrated. 'Ted' got old pretty quickly. I dont think I saw one decent comedy this year. Last good comedy I saw was The Guard, that was last year.

/movies just blow these days if you have any requirements above 'uhhhhhh it was ok i guess - I liked the asplosions'
 
2012-12-12 11:25:43 PM

Marshmallow Jones: /movies just blow these days if you have any requirements above 'uhhhhhh it was ok i guess - I liked the asplosions'


Yes, you're so discerning. We get it.
 
2012-12-12 11:26:25 PM
There were two movies named Battleship. One of them was very bad, the other one was worse.
 
2012-12-12 11:29:30 PM
Oh God, the only movie from this year I've seen was Prometheus. And I only watched that to make fun of it.
 
2012-12-12 11:31:09 PM

red5ish: There were two movies named Battleship. One of them was very bad, the other one was worse.


I'm guessing the "worse" one was a SyFy channel ripoff....Correct?
 
2012-12-12 11:33:50 PM

DamnYankees: Swoop1809: MrHappyRotter: For every movie on that list, you're bound to find several folks who will announce "Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it totally doesn't deserve to be on the worst of 2012 list". In the case of Snow White and the Huntsman, please make a note that I'm that guy.

The effects for Snow White and the Huntsman were great and the premise was good. It had so much potential, they just didnt capitalize on it. Make it a half hour shorter and replace Kristen Stewart with someone that could be considered "fair" and we have a pretty good movie.

Kristen Stewart single-handedly killed the movie for me. Horribly miscast.


Yeah please tell me how this..

s.wsj.net

is fairer this this...

img2.timeinc.net
 
2012-12-12 11:34:38 PM

Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.


TDKR was one of the best movies of the year. Flawed, but still intelligent and fun, with good characters, good visuals, and a good story.

Prometheus was... decent. Very flawed, but it had some good material. The biggest letdown was that the characters had a tendency of behaving like chickens with their heads cut off. The alien origins were cool, however.
 
2012-12-12 11:35:31 PM

mjones73: DamnYankees: Swoop1809: MrHappyRotter: For every movie on that list, you're bound to find several folks who will announce "Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it totally doesn't deserve to be on the worst of 2012 list". In the case of Snow White and the Huntsman, please make a note that I'm that guy.

The effects for Snow White and the Huntsman were great and the premise was good. It had so much potential, they just didnt capitalize on it. Make it a half hour shorter and replace Kristen Stewart with someone that could be considered "fair" and we have a pretty good movie.

Kristen Stewart single-handedly killed the movie for me. Horribly miscast.

Yeah please tell me how this..

[s.wsj.net image 262x394]

is fairer this this...

[img2.timeinc.net image 300x400]


Well, she never moves her face, so there won't be a lot of wrinkles.
 
2012-12-12 11:38:50 PM

mjones73: DamnYankees: Swoop1809: MrHappyRotter: For every movie on that list, you're bound to find several folks who will announce "Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it totally doesn't deserve to be on the worst of 2012 list". In the case of Snow White and the Huntsman, please make a note that I'm that guy.

The effects for Snow White and the Huntsman were great and the premise was good. It had so much potential, they just didnt capitalize on it. Make it a half hour shorter and replace Kristen Stewart with someone that could be considered "fair" and we have a pretty good movie.

Kristen Stewart single-handedly killed the movie for me. Horribly miscast.

Yeah please tell me how this..

[s.wsj.net image 262x394]

is fairer this this...

[img2.timeinc.net image 300x400]


The mirror digs brunettes?
 
2012-12-12 11:39:21 PM

Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.


SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.
 
2012-12-12 11:41:16 PM

Killer Cars: Flint Ironstag: /TV writers are a whole different matter.

I thought the reason why the quality (and quantity) of many TV dramas (particularly on the cable/premium networks) over the last decade plus has increased was in part because talented writers becoming disillusioned/disenfranchised/utterly annoyed with the film industry were flocking to THAT medium instead.

You have 9,000 cable channels now that need to fill their schedules with content. You do get a buttload of reality TV programming as result, but, also, some also stuff like The Walking Dead and Breaking Bad on f*cking AMC of all places.


TV shows are generally run by a writer, and the directors are just hired hands who do as they are told. The way series are made is the big reason for this, a director will make a single episode but will not know what is planned for the following eps, so he cant change anything because he could screw up. An "insignificant" change could contradict something in next weeks episode. Only the head writer knows what is planned, so he is in charge.
 
2012-12-12 11:43:17 PM
By the way, was I alone in thinking The Avengers was a little disappointing? Not bad, by any means, but the plot and a few of the characters were kind of shallow, weren't they?
 
2012-12-12 11:43:49 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Apos: Precisely. Silly of us to have expected a cogent narrative from the duo responsible for The Matrix Revolutions, eh?

Well, it wasn't that the narrative wasn't cogent. It was just that it was insubstantial, just like the book's narrative.

It said everything it wanted to say very loudly, then left you feeling not terribly moved and not terribly entertained. Worse of all, it didn't leave you very upset at spending time on it either.

Going back to bad movies from this year, I also saw Pitch Perfect. Besides a half dozen incredible "wait, they said that?" lines, the writing was terrible and the acting was worse. Let's not even get started on the music.


The trailer for "Pitch Perfect" was enough of a deterrent for me; as much as I think Anna Kendrick is a capable-and sexy-actress, that just wasn't enough of an incentive to get me to see it....


I've one question about "Atlas": Why was the book so critically acclaimed? I mean, a non-linear narrative,literally or otherwise, doesn't sound thrilling in the least.
 
2012-12-12 11:44:56 PM

Apos: DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.


*crosses fingers for The Master
 
2012-12-12 11:48:07 PM
Prometheus was nothing but awful.
 
2012-12-12 11:49:06 PM

mjones73: DamnYankees: Swoop1809: MrHappyRotter: For every movie on that list, you're bound to find several folks who will announce "Sure, it wasn't the greatest, but it totally doesn't deserve to be on the worst of 2012 list". In the case of Snow White and the Huntsman, please make a note that I'm that guy.

The effects for Snow White and the Huntsman were great and the premise was good. It had so much potential, they just didnt capitalize on it. Make it a half hour shorter and replace Kristen Stewart with someone that could be considered "fair" and we have a pretty good movie.

Kristen Stewart single-handedly killed the movie for me. Horribly miscast.

Yeah please tell me how this..

is fairer this this...


Suspension of disbelief: BROKEN
 
2012-12-12 11:50:20 PM
Ok, it was also insulting.
 
2012-12-12 11:50:46 PM

Apos: I've one question about "Atlas": Why was the book so critically acclaimed? I mean, a non-linear narrative,literally or otherwise, doesn't sound thrilling in the least.


My friend who is much more literature-savvy than I am tells me that she sees Cloud Atlas as a very interesting (but obviously imperfectly executed) exercise in writing multiple styles within one cohesive whole.

I definitely picked up on that. There were sections I enjoyed and sections which I disliked, but respected. The part that turned me off was that the author seemed to be trying to show you something more, but either he wasn't presenting it under the right lights or it was just inherently anti-climactic.

Apos: as much as I think Anna Kendrick is a capable-and sexy-actress


She was basically absent for the entire movie. Said her lines, went home.
 
2012-12-12 11:50:57 PM
I really wanted to like Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter but it took itself way too seriously for its subject matter.

The others I had the good sense to avoid.
 
2012-12-12 11:51:10 PM

Wayne 985: By the way, was I alone in thinking The Avengers was a little disappointing? Not bad, by any means, but the plot and a few of the characters were kind of shallow, weren't they?


I think they did a decent job getting them all together, most of the character development is done in the individual movies.
 
2012-12-12 11:51:10 PM

Fano: Apos: DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.

*crosses fingers for The Master


I've yet to see "The Master", but judging from this thread, that might be for the best. I was REALLY looking forward to seeing Joaquin Phoenix in a serious role-alongside the superb Phillip Seymour Hoffman, no less-and I dug the trailer. I must say that it's very disheartening to read so many negative reviews about it.
 
2012-12-12 11:51:50 PM

GoodHomer: The list is fail without "The Master".

It was so bad I wanted to pluck out my eyeballs and stuff them in my ears so I could be spared both the sight and sounds of that pretentious, aimless, and boring POS monstrosity.


Curses! It must have been left off the list because the maker has always wanted to watch a drunk Joaquin Phoenix drill a fat chick. The director at least has the hoodoo power to convince random actresses that full frontal nudity is crucial for the movie,
 
2012-12-12 11:52:32 PM

Wayne 985: By the way, was I alone in thinking The Avengers was a little disappointing? Not bad, by any means, but the plot and a few of the characters were kind of shallow, weren't they?


The Avengers is simply a shallow movie. I think it was about as good as it could get for the time allotted, given the plot. Then again the characters are completely f*cking ridiculous. The supporting movies sucked. Captain America sucked, Thor was over the top cheese with over the top music. The only really decent movies leading up to it were the Ironman movies, and there were some pretty stupid plot holes in those movies too.

The only even remotely interesting character in the movie was the Hulk and he didn't even have a lead-in movie.
 
2012-12-12 11:54:46 PM
I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but I enjoyed Battleship. I didn't expect much from it. I knew before going in that it would be the average summer "popcorn" movie. It wasn't expected to be a blockbuster or cutting edge. I found it to be entertaining in a goofy sort of way. The movie wasn't meant to be taken seriously. I really didn't care for the casting choice of Rhianna, but meh.... I just don't get why so many people hate on it like it's the worst thing since cancer
 
2012-12-12 11:57:21 PM

Apos: Fano: Apos: DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.

*crosses fingers for The Master

I've yet to see "The Master", but judging from this thread, that might be for the best. I was REALLY looking forward to seeing Joaquin Phoenix in a serious role-alongside the superb Phillip Seymour Hoffman, no less-and I dug the trailer. I must say that it's very disheartening to read so many negative reviews about it.


Phillip Seymour Hoffman is great in it. You might get more mileage out of it than I. I also had high hopes, the gf and I watched Boogie Nights the night before. The Master made us think both movies could have stood to shed about 20to minutes, but damned if we knew which 20 minutes.
 
2012-12-12 11:59:22 PM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Apos: I've one question about "Atlas": Why was the book so critically acclaimed? I mean, a non-linear narrative,literally or otherwise, doesn't sound thrilling in the least.

My friend who is much more literature-savvy than I am tells me that she sees Cloud Atlas as a very interesting (but obviously imperfectly executed) exercise in writing multiple styles within one cohesive whole.

I definitely picked up on that. There were sections I enjoyed and sections which I disliked, but respected. The part that turned me off was that the author seemed to be trying to show you something more, but either he wasn't presenting it under the right lights or it was just inherently anti-climactic.

Apos: as much as I think Anna Kendrick is a capable-and sexy-actress

She was basically absent for the entire movie. Said her lines, went home.


I,too, enjoyed certain parts of "Atlas"(especially the resident facility one and parts of "Soomi 451") but it just....failed to gel satisfactorily. It insisted upon itself to an insufferable degree.


As for "Perfect"....Well, thanks for confirming my suspicions.
 
2012-12-13 12:03:48 AM

Balchinian: ...let's just say if Gilbert Gottfried's voice were a person, it would be Adam Sandler.


This comment needs to be quoted more.
 
2012-12-13 12:05:27 AM
Who, precisely was the Three Stooges movie made for?
 
2012-12-13 12:09:27 AM

Swoop1809: I thought The Campaign was freaking hilarious

 
2012-12-13 12:10:58 AM
The fact that the list didn't mention "the Oogieloves" shows that they don't actually know all the bad movies that came out this year.

They have no business making a list.
 
2012-12-13 12:21:41 AM

bdub77: Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.

SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.


Sure.

Because all the OTHER Bond movies have such solid, believable, airtight plots with no holes that don't hinge on the villain doing something completely ridiculous or some entirely impossible set of coincidences, right?

Like a villain's having a lair in a giant volcano concealed by a perfectly undetectable "lake" nobody ever noticed before (Dr. No.)
Or the villain's having Bond right where he wants him and about to slice him in two with a giant laser and then giving up when Bond mentions that "008" will just pick up right where Bond left off ("Goldfinger")
Or a world-class hitman losing because his midget henchman conveniently hates him and switches sides (The Man with the Golden Gun)
Or because Fort Knox was strangely unguarded that day and nobody noticed (Goldfinger again)
Or that a villain could steal US and Soviet missiles right out of the sky and nothing bad would happen (Dr. No)
Or that a voodoo god could be running the heroin circuit of half the world via a beautiful sorceress (Live & Let Die)
Or a postWWII Hitler clone could activate the San Andreas fault (View to a Kill)

I think the real problem people are having is that "Skyfall" is TOO REALISTIC and not fantastical enough to be a Bond flick.
 
2012-12-13 12:26:18 AM
The only movie I have seen on the list was "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" and it was pretty much exactly what I expected: mindless fun. It wasn't all that good, but I didn't feel like I'd just completely wasted the last two hours watching it, so I don't think it deserves to be on the list.

Prometheus should have been on that list. I was actually angry at myself for finishing the movie, and I felt like those two hours could have been better spent doing almost anything else.
 
2012-12-13 12:29:24 AM

SavageWombat: The fact that the list didn't mention "the Oogieloves" shows that they don't actually know all the bad movies that came out this year.

They have no business making a list.


Are Oogieloves like Boogens?
 
2012-12-13 12:36:39 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Shrugging Atlas: Prometheus was visually awesome and I thought the acting was good to great. The plot was just a hot farking mess, to the point I'm not even interested in a sequel. Glad I saw it, but way over hyped.

I'd agree with that.

Noomi Rapace deserved better.



I've said it once, and I'll say it again.

I can forgive all the plot holes, all the bad story, the failure to run left, I can forgive it all, except one thing.

No woman, on this planet or any other planet or moon in the universe, is gonna be ready for lovin' after being told that because of her barren womb she's essentially useless and that her religious beliefs are bupkiss.
 
2012-12-13 12:39:45 AM

mamoru: The only movie I have seen on the list was "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" and it was pretty much exactly what I expected: mindless fun. It wasn't all that good, but I didn't feel like I'd just completely wasted the last two hours watching it, so I don't think it deserves to be on the list.



Welcome to the club!
 
2012-12-13 12:40:48 AM

Fano: Who, precisely was the Three Stooges movie made for?


The Farrelly brothers.
 
2012-12-13 12:53:59 AM
Am I the only person who enjoyed the Red Dawn remake? While the idea of North Korea invading is terminally ridiculous, the movie was a fun, paint by numbers action flick.
 
2012-12-13 12:54:51 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I just watched Battleship the night before last

/it still stinks in here
//damn... that was.... damn


Out of curiosity, what were you expecting? As TFA put it, this movie was based on a child's game with absolutely no premise beyond "Uhhhh... B-7?"

I haven't seen it, but I was thinking to check it out of the library for free on a night when I just want to watch explosions. That's honestly all I would expect. But I do want to ask - what do you know that I don't? Is it too bad to watch even for that?
 
2012-12-13 12:57:34 AM
Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey
 
2012-12-13 01:02:51 AM

Pocket Ninja: At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER,
ADAM SANDLER,
ALEX CROSS,
AMERICAN REUNION,
BATTLESHIP,
HAPPY MADISON,
HERE COMES THE BOOM,
JOYFUL NOISE,
MIRROR MIRROR,
NATURE CALLS,
PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
RED DAWN,
ROCK OF AGES,
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN,
THAT'S MY BOY,
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,
THE BOURNE LEGACY,
THE THREE STOOGES,
THE VOW,


They actually had a teeny, tiny link in gray letters for viewing as a single page.
 
2012-12-13 01:03:12 AM

Paduke: Silver Linings Playbook was definitely my least favorite movie of the year. Completely irritating, awful movie that seems to be getting good reviews.


You should probably not be allowed to watch movies anymore.
 
2012-12-13 01:05:26 AM
The Vow


When is Hollywood gonna drop its OBSESSION with amnesia?
 
2012-12-13 01:05:49 AM

GreatGlavinsGhost: Pocket Ninja: At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER,
ADAM SANDLER,
ALEX CROSS,
AMERICAN REUNION,
BATTLESHIP,
HAPPY MADISON,
HERE COMES THE BOOM,
JOYFUL NOISE,
MIRROR MIRROR,
NATURE CALLS,
PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
RED DAWN,
ROCK OF AGES,
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN,
THAT'S MY BOY,
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,
THE BOURNE LEGACY,
THE THREE STOOGES,
THE VOW,

They actually had a teeny, tiny link in gray letters for viewing as a single page.

 
2012-12-13 01:10:04 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: DamnYankees: I kind of like him, actually.

Likewise.

I was pleasantly surprised by what Channing Tatum brought to 21 Jump Street.

And that's a sentence I'd never imagine typing.


Because he had to play the deadpan, meathead, dumb jock with the stupid look on his face the whole movie? That was some range he exhibited there, I'll give you that.
 
2012-12-13 01:12:08 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I just watched Battleship the night before last

/it still stinks in here
//damn... that was.... damn

Out of curiosity, what were you expecting? As TFA put it, this movie was based on a child's game with absolutely no premise beyond "Uhhhh... B-7?"

I haven't seen it, but I was thinking to check it out of the library for free on a night when I just want to watch explosions. That's honestly all I would expect. But I do want to ask - what do you know that I don't? Is it too bad to watch even for that?


I harbored no illusions going in. Hell, I used to play that game on a piece of graph paper. But I was curious as to how they'd pull it off.

/it was... curious
//the back story was lame, the dialogue was lame.... basically a SyFy movie with a bigger SFX budget
///YMMV
 
2012-12-13 01:18:01 AM

Marshal805: The Vow


When is Hollywood gonna drop its OBSESSION with amnesia?


Around the time they stop having cops continue to work a case despite being kicked off the force.
 
2012-12-13 01:24:28 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Benevolent Misanthrope: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I just watched Battleship the night before last

/it still stinks in here
//damn... that was.... damn

Out of curiosity, what were you expecting? As TFA put it, this movie was based on a child's game with absolutely no premise beyond "Uhhhh... B-7?"

I haven't seen it, but I was thinking to check it out of the library for free on a night when I just want to watch explosions. That's honestly all I would expect. But I do want to ask - what do you know that I don't? Is it too bad to watch even for that?

I harbored no illusions going in. Hell, I used to play that game on a piece of graph paper. But I was curious as to how they'd pull it off.

/it was... curious
//the back story was lame, the dialogue was lame.... basically a SyFy movie with a bigger SFX budget
///YMMV


Oy. Thanks. I may skip it.
 
2012-12-13 01:34:07 AM
Back the fark off of Lockout - the main character had some excellent dialogue/delivery.
 
2012-12-13 01:37:08 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Benevolent Misanthrope: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I just watched Battleship the night before last

/it still stinks in here
//damn... that was.... damn

Out of curiosity, what were you expecting? As TFA put it, this movie was based on a child's game with absolutely no premise beyond "Uhhhh... B-7?"

I haven't seen it, but I was thinking to check it out of the library for free on a night when I just want to watch explosions. That's honestly all I would expect. But I do want to ask - what do you know that I don't? Is it too bad to watch even for that?

I harbored no illusions going in. Hell, I used to play that game on a piece of graph paper. But I was curious as to how they'd pull it off.

/it was... curious
//the back story was lame, the dialogue was lame.... basically a SyFy movie with a bigger SFX budget
///YMMV

Oy. Thanks. I may skip it.


It's not even bad enough to be So Bad It's Good. It's just meh. Couple good moments, but nothing to distract from the meh.
 
2012-12-13 01:37:58 AM
The Bourne Legacy doesn't belong on any such list.

Don't get me wrong - it wasn't a great movie or anything. But it was better than I expected it should be, even if it did lose me by the end. I'm pretty finicky when it comes to movies, but it was entertaining enough for what it was, and did as good a job as it could for basically being a cash-grab on the Bourne name. Hell, by the time the last of those had come out I'd said to myself, "OK - this, but no more." And I was expecting this new one to absolutely suck. But in a year that brought us crap like Battleship, Expendables 2, Red Dawn, Journey 2, The Lorax, Wrath of the Titans, Total Recall and
The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure
, it can be forgiven what flaws it had.
 
2012-12-13 01:39:08 AM
So after spending a couple hundred dollars for movie tickets, popcorn and drinks this year I have decide to start making my own re-makes of classic films because the movie industry wants Fark Me! Well I'm gonna fark them! My first project I figure would be The Godfather 2 (as a michael bayesque movie) because you why FARK YOU!. I will do as many directors have done and throw common story structure out the farking window you why because FARK YOU! My second project will be a re-make of Citizen Kane as dark romantic comedy you know why because FARK YOU! And third movie in tha FARK YOU! trilogy will be a re-make of Lawerence of Arabia titled as Lawerence of Arizona and I will do the exact same film only the shooting will be done in trailer parks across Arizona you know because FARK YOU! PAY ME!
 
2012-12-13 01:40:09 AM
I watched Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter yesterday. I'm shocked that this author ranks it as the worst of the year, considering it was, at worst (and best) a mediocre movie.

What did he see that I didn't?

/Then again, I don't get paid to hate on things
//I'd be a billionaire
 
2012-12-13 01:40:54 AM

Pocket Ninja: At least the farking asshats had the courtesy to list the tags so you didn't have to click through their stupid slideshow. Here, I'll make it so you don't even have to click the link:

ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER,
ADAM SANDLER,
ALEX CROSS,
AMERICAN REUNION,
BATTLESHIP,
HAPPY MADISON,
HERE COMES THE BOOM,
JOYFUL NOISE,
MIRROR MIRROR,
NATURE CALLS,
PLAYING FOR KEEPS,
RED DAWN,
ROCK OF AGES,
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN,
THAT'S MY BOY,
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN,
THE BOURNE LEGACY,
THE THREE STOOGES,
THE VOW,


American Reunion was much funnier than I expected, and was almost as good as the first Pie movie. Amazing Spider-Man wasn't great, but it was a fun popcorn movie. Can't vouch for the others, though.
 
2012-12-13 01:46:53 AM
I finally saw TDKR last week. Pretty good overall, if a grim story. My main issue is that it would have been more believable if Bruce Wayne hadn't turned into a crippled recluse since the last movie, who somehow gets back into fighting form. Yeah, I saw the leg wraps, and don't buy them fully.
 
2012-12-13 01:50:37 AM

Alphax: I finally saw TDKR last week. Pretty good overall, if a grim story. My main issue is that it would have been more believable if Bruce Wayne hadn't turned into a crippled recluse since the last movie, who somehow gets back into fighting form. Yeah, I saw the leg wraps, and don't buy them fully.


My problem is the pacing of the movie. It felt too rushed from point to point. Honestly, it might have benefited from another hour or so of storytelling.

...Or simply just more Bane. God, talk about being underused. It's almost criminal.
 
2012-12-13 02:07:32 AM

FuryOfFirestorm: American Reunion was much funnier than I expected, and was almost as good as the first Pie movie. Amazing Spider-Man wasn't great, but it was a fun popcorn movie. Can't vouch for the others, though.


Agreed. If we'd gotten that in place of (and at the same time as) American Wedding the trilogy would have been pretty damn good, and have had an unusually interesting arc, for what it was. It knew its audience and, rather than attempting to give them another movie like the first three, gave them a decent nostalgia trip with some humor. It got here a little late, but fark it, I liked it.

Didn't see Spider Man.

Liked Prometheus.

Hated Batman. Aside from the "wait, WTF?" plot, I swear to god some of the editing during the action scenes had to have been stealthily made at the last minute by someone attempting to torpedo the movie, and most of the acting was very flat (not helped by the universally-bad-but-only-sometimes-funny editing). Bane sounded like he was being voiced over by someone standing off-screen, even when he was dead center in the shot, which was distracting as fark. Generally clumsy.

Liked The Master, but I only saw it once and I think it's the kind of thing that, if you didn't hate it on the first viewing, you'll need a second to form a solid opinion.

Liked The Avengers.

Bond's writing was lazy, I thought. More than once they seemed to strain suspension of disbelief because it was easier than writing something better, rather than for any good reason. Seems weird that they pulled out a "too old for this shiat, relic of a past time" story for a two-movies-old (at the beginning of this one) reboot Bond, almost like they wanted to do one for M and dragged Bond in to it because (again) it was just easier to write it that way. Liked the acting for the villain. Enjoyed it while I was watching, but I like it less every time I think about it.
 
2012-12-13 02:22:04 AM
Rock of Ages is about the only POS on that list. From most that I saw, they werent that bad. Nothing worse then Bucky Larson. Id rather watch Oprah give birth then see the other 3/4 of that movie
 
2012-12-13 02:38:57 AM

fallingcow: Hated Batman... Generally clumsy.

Bond's writing was lazy... I like it less every time I think about it.


media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-13 02:39:22 AM
Actually, now that I think of it, where the hell is the unmitigated turd that was "The Lorax"?
 
2012-12-13 02:40:07 AM

SavageWombat: The fact that the list didn't mention "the Oogieloves" shows that they don't actually know all the bad movies that came out this year.

They have no business making a list.


"Oogieloves"? That's the poorly marketed educational short, right?
 
2012-12-13 03:01:45 AM
My wife and I enjoyed Here Comes The Boom, and Mirror, Mirror.

Prometheus was the last movie I saw as a bachelor, the night before my wedding. My wife thought my love for her was the reason I cried so hard that day.
 
2012-12-13 03:09:37 AM

ur14me: Lsherm: I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.

Nope.

The honor of "Worst Movie Ever Made" is, has been, and will forever be...

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

That is all.


Apparently, you wouldn't know a bad movie if it walked up to you and slapped you across the face with its dick!
 
2012-12-13 04:00:08 AM
List fails for two big reasons:

1) Its a damn slideshow.

2) "One Nice Thing: I actually enjoyed Kristen Stewart."
 
2012-12-13 04:18:43 AM
I did see Mirror, Mirror, on DVD while on vacation with family. (had to be something watchable with toddlers present) Not bad, but hardly something to take time out of your day to watch. Lily Collins was cute, and seemed to be trying for an Audy Hepburn look, but I found Julia Roberts more attractive, and much closer to my age.
 
2012-12-13 04:24:58 AM
Wow, the Bourne Legacy made the list? A perfect movie it ain't, but aside from the lackluster ending, it was a solid (albeit unneeded) entry to the series.
 
2012-12-13 04:25:21 AM

ArtosRC: Alphax: I finally saw TDKR last week. Pretty good overall, if a grim story. My main issue is that it would have been more believable if Bruce Wayne hadn't turned into a crippled recluse since the last movie, who somehow gets back into fighting form. Yeah, I saw the leg wraps, and don't buy them fully.

My problem is the pacing of the movie. It felt too rushed from point to point. Honestly, it might have benefited from another hour or so of storytelling.

...Or simply just more Bane. God, talk about being underused. It's almost criminal.


Agree with all of this. Also, the betrayal at the end just felt lazy. Great build up to a typical revenge plot device. Pacing aside though, it's a good, dour story that felt suffocating at times. And the end, although sentimental, delivers a nice coda to the arc of all three films.
 
2012-12-13 04:57:19 AM

sonnyboy11: ArtosRC: Alphax: I finally saw TDKR last week. Pretty good overall, if a grim story. My main issue is that it would have been more believable if Bruce Wayne hadn't turned into a crippled recluse since the last movie, who somehow gets back into fighting form. Yeah, I saw the leg wraps, and don't buy them fully.

My problem is the pacing of the movie. It felt too rushed from point to point. Honestly, it might have benefited from another hour or so of storytelling.

...Or simply just more Bane. God, talk about being underused. It's almost criminal.

Agree with all of this. Also, the betrayal at the end just felt lazy. Great build up to a typical revenge plot device. Pacing aside though, it's a good, dour story that felt suffocating at times. And the end, although sentimental, delivers a nice coda to the arc of all three films.


The Dark Knight was, like Empire, the darkest and best of the trilogy.

The trailer still gives me chills.
 
2012-12-13 05:19:43 AM
What made Rock Of Ages entertaining was that it was bad.

I dare anyone to stand next to the statue in front of the Sevier County Tennessee courthouse and talk about how #4 was bad.
 
2012-12-13 05:47:06 AM
I always wonder how they can make a list like this when there are all those craptastic direct to video and syfy movies out there....
That being said:
ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER : A lot of fun. Great costumes and visuals. Liked it a lot.
ALEX CROSS,: Didn't see.
AMERICAN REUNION,: Liked it a lot. Was like catching up with old friends.
BATTLESHIP: Far better than I expected. Pretty entertaining.
HERE COMES THE BOOM : Didn't see
JOYFUL NOISE: Didn't see.
MIRROR MIRROR: Didn't see
NATURE CALLS: Didn;t see
PLAYING FOR KEEPS: Didn't see
RED DAWN: Didn't see.
ROCK OF AGES: Entertaining enough.
SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN: Meh story. Giant plot holes. But some really cool visuals.
THAT'S MY BOY: Didn't see.
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN: Meh. Total cookie-cutter of a movie.
THE BOURNE LEGACY: Was okay. Didn't love it or hate it.
THE THREE STOOGES: Better than I expected. Great casting. Entertaining if you're in the mood for stupid entertainment.
THE VOW: Didn't see.
 
2012-12-13 06:21:33 AM

proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey


The Grey? Really?
 
2012-12-13 07:29:53 AM
The Campaign wasn't bad. It maybe could've been expanded a bit more, but I thought it was pretty funny.


I also thought The Amazing Spiderman was probably at least one par with the first two films. I think it didn't get wider acceptance due to the 3rd film, which was only released about 5 years ago, still leaving a rather bad taste in the mouths of some. Though I also thought it would've been a bit wiser if they could've somehow bypassed a retelling of the origin story.
 
2012-12-13 07:56:28 AM

Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.


If nothing else they were both beautifully shot and gorgeous pieces of cinema (and yes, that does matter in film) ....so, no, they don't belong on a list with That's My Boy.
 
2012-12-13 08:00:50 AM

DamnYankees: robsul82: Old Man Winter: Has it been long enough to point out Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises both sucked major donkey balls? I don't want to get flamed by every 17 year-old fanboy here, but I think we are far enough away from those movies to say that now.

While I appreciate how incredibly dedicated you are to making everyone aware of how you go against the grain, Prometheus was the biggest disappointment of the year, indeed.

And it was still a beautiful, well acted movie with some very interesting ideas. That it was so disappointing and yet pretty decent is just a testament to how insanely high the potential was.


Prometheus was a well made piece of cinema, and was good for what it was. I was pleasantly surprised. I had heard alot of reviews along the lines of "It asks a lot of big questions, but ultimately doesn't provide any answers".

Who the fark goes to a big budget Hollywood studio popcorn cinema searching for "answers" of any kind?
 
2012-12-13 08:03:31 AM
I gather The Sweeney didn't get a US release, then?

You're better off.
 
2012-12-13 08:19:23 AM

bdub77: Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.

SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.


I came away thinking I'd missed a couple Craig Bond movies somewhere. He's the just promoted new guy in Casino Royale, QoS takes place IMMEDIATLY after, nw he's the falling apart, grizzled vet? It felt like something that should have been done toward the end of one of the older Bond actors' run, after more than two movies.
Then,the whole thing wraps up and feels like another setup movie. Just like the other two Craig movies did.
Hate to admit it, but I actually liked Quantum of Solace a little better. Though, the Second Bond Girl is one of the hotter ones of the entire franchise,IMO.
 
2012-12-13 08:25:43 AM
Okay. Here goes. I enjoyed "That's My Boy" Why? Because I didn't have high expectations to begin with. If you're watching a Sandler film for acting or plot, I'd say you're not stoned or drunk enough. I went in looking for gross-out humor, not well crafted plot or character development. I say the same thing about people who didn't like "The Love Guru." What did you think you were getting other than another Austin Powers with Indian accents?
 
2012-12-13 08:40:57 AM

robsul82: Really loved Cloud Atlas, fark all y'all.


This. Also quit trying to say Lockout was a bad movie. It wasn't on the list but he mentioned it several times. It clearly wasn't trying to be serious and it was pretty damn funny/entertaining.

Also, the new Red Dawn wasn't that bad. People I watched it with found it entertaining. Not saying its going to be played for 20+ years like the original, just saying it was at least entertaining.
 
2012-12-13 08:42:43 AM

robsul82: Really loved Cloud Atlas, fark all y'all.


Same here. It was unexpectedly good as Prometheus was unexpectedly bad.
 
2012-12-13 08:45:13 AM

ur14me: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

That is all.


Wow. Hell no. Love that movie and own it. Will occasionally watch it too.
 
2012-12-13 08:48:18 AM

Apos:
*Nodding* It was plain to see that it was a horribly misguided notion, perhaps one of the worst cash grabs in cinematic history. Real head-scratcher as to why it was greenlit.


Answer is in the article. The first 3 entries made a lot of money and since they required little special effects or expensive set pieces they weren't too expensive to make. Hell even the direct to DVD tie in cash grabs made money.
 
2012-12-13 08:49:23 AM

Apos: Fano: Apos: DNRTFA but Cloud Atlas, Killing Me Softly and Playing For Keeps should be on the list.

*crosses fingers for The Master

I've yet to see "The Master", but judging from this thread, that might be for the best. I was REALLY looking forward to seeing Joaquin Phoenix in a serious role-alongside the superb Phillip Seymour Hoffman, no less-and I dug the trailer. I must say that it's very disheartening to read so many negative reviews about it.


Great performances, especially by Phoenix, but nothing happens in the movie. All the characters end up exactly the same as when they started.
 
2012-12-13 08:52:36 AM

meat0918: No woman, on this planet or any other planet or moon in the universe, is gonna be ready for lovin' after being told that because of her barren womb she's essentially useless and that her religious beliefs are bupkiss.


Shush your mouth when it's sexy time, ya hear?!
 
2012-12-13 08:57:50 AM

Frothy Panties: proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey

The Grey? Really?


The way it was sold, I think a lot of people expected to see Liam Neeson beating up wolves for the entire movie.
 
2012-12-13 08:58:17 AM

Marshal805: The Vow


When is Hollywood gonna drop its OBSESSION with amnesia?


When I grow up, I'm gonna get SO much amnesia!

theinfosphere.org
 
2012-12-13 09:10:26 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: The way it was sold, I think a lot of people expected to see Liam Neeson beating up wolves for the entire movie.


Yeah, that's why I didn't like it. I might need to rewatch it know what it's supposed to be. I remember leaving the theater thinking "but nothing happened like the entire time, and every character was useless." Meanwhile I was expecting a chess match between a pack of wolves and Liam, and the pawns were Liam's glass shard fists....which didn't happen. :(
 
2012-12-13 09:11:45 AM

Seth'n'Spectrum: Apos: I've one question about "Atlas": Why was the book so critically acclaimed? I mean, a non-linear narrative,literally or otherwise, doesn't sound thrilling in the least.

My friend who is much more literature-savvy than I am tells me that she sees Cloud Atlas as a very interesting (but obviously imperfectly executed) exercise in writing multiple styles within one cohesive whole.

I definitely picked up on that. There were sections I enjoyed and sections which I disliked, but respected. The part that turned me off was that the author seemed to be trying to show you something more, but either he wasn't presenting it under the right lights or it was just inherently anti-climactic.


that was pretty much my feeling when I read the book. It sounded like it had a good premise and first half of each story was great or at least interesting, but each setup for the next story felt somewhat half-assed and none of the stories had a satisfying conclusion.
 
2012-12-13 09:24:19 AM

vrax: ur14me: Lsherm: I can attest that "That's My Boy" was the worst movie of 2012, and might be the worst movie ever made.

Nope.

The honor of "Worst Movie Ever Made" is, has been, and will forever be...

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events.

That is all.

Apparently, you wouldn't know a bad movie if it walked up to you and slapped you across the face with its dick!


That's what's great about this type of forum: everyone can give their opinion.

That yours is utterly misguided and reeks of a complete lack of appreciation for what constitutes a "good" movie doesn't change the fact you're allowed to express it.

/still have the helmet dimple on my face
//Enchanted twitched the Snicketometer
///slashies
 
2012-12-13 09:30:04 AM
i watched this for the first time the other day

i192.photobucket.com

better than anything released in 2012
 
2012-12-13 09:42:26 AM
laist.com

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.
 
2012-12-13 09:45:04 AM

bossuniversalAA: i watched this for the first time the other day

[i192.photobucket.com image 718x1024]

better than anything released in 2012


So I take it the Stig has had enough of Clarkson's insults?
 
2012-12-13 09:58:05 AM

Bruce Campbell: Okay. Here goes. I enjoyed "That's My Boy" Why? Because I didn't have high expectations to begin with. If you're watching a Sandler film for acting or plot, I'd say you're not stoned or drunk enough. I went in looking for gross-out humor, not well crafted plot or character development. I say the same thing about people who didn't like "The Love Guru." What did you think you were getting other than another Austin Powers with Indian accents?


Agreed, It was a typical stupid Sandler movie. The cameos were great. I just wish Sandler would make another movie with Drew Barrymore.
 
2012-12-13 10:01:15 AM

Minus 1 Charisma: [laist.com image 320x320]

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.


What do you consider a good movie worth our money? What is wrong with mindless entertainment to allow one to get away from life for 2 hours.

I enjoyed Moonrise Kingdom but sure wouldn't go see it with my kid and not really a fun movie to discuss with others.
 
2012-12-13 10:04:35 AM

proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey

The GREY??

That movie was fantastic. My heart was in my throat for damn near an hour.
 
2012-12-13 10:13:05 AM
CTRL+F "Prometheus"

I see that my worst movie of the year has already been covered in here. Curse my needing to do work at work today...
 
2012-12-13 10:39:33 AM

bdub77: Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.

SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.


Gave me flashbacks to "Crocodile Dundee"
 
2012-12-13 10:41:36 AM

Minus 1 Charisma: [laist.com image 320x320]

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.


1/10 - Nobody's gonna bite on that....

Waldo Pepper: What do you consider a good movie worth our money? What is wrong with mindless entertainment to allow one to get away from life for 2 hours.


....nevermind.
 
2012-12-13 10:41:53 AM
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter was as ridiculous as intended. I enjoyed the film. Nothing was of the highest quality, but take the set and costume design, the directing, special effects, acting, etc., into any other story and you would have a respectable film. I mean, if you made a film about Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires, I don't know if it could ever be better.
 
2012-12-13 11:17:51 AM
Count me in as someone who liked Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. It was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed it a lot better than Prometheus, which was so very disappointing. The more I think about Prometheus, the less I like it, which is why I consider Prometheus my worst movie of the year.
 
2012-12-13 11:21:56 AM

Minus 1 Charisma: [laist.com image 320x320]

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.


I wasn't a huge fan of DKR but stop being a disingenuous fark. When you compare it to every single movie released this year, there's no possible way anyone honestly thinks Batman was the worst of all of them. You're trolling or you just want attention, grow up.
 
2012-12-13 11:24:50 AM

Moodybastard: Prometheus

Just watched it on dvd


I am happy they all died.

The movie sucked so hard, so hard.


Thanks douche.

Was waiting till that came on HBO.
 
2012-12-13 11:34:37 AM

Cndn Bacon: Minus 1 Charisma: [laist.com image 320x320]

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.

1/10 - Nobody's gonna bite on that....

Waldo Pepper: What do you consider a good movie worth our money? What is wrong with mindless entertainment to allow one to get away from life for 2 hours.

....nevermind.


sorry I just woke up and was hungry
 
2012-12-13 11:41:25 AM
This list sucks. I haven't seen TOO many movies from this year, but Silent Hill Revelation absolutely deserved to be on the list. And Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter really wasn't THAT bad. Ok, it could have been a lot better, but it was still entertaining and a decent popcorn flick. #1 on the list? You gotta be farking kidding me.
 
2012-12-13 12:08:48 PM
The worst thing I saw was FDR: American Badass. I didn't see the whole thing, but what I saw had more bad in it than a typical worst movie of the year.

It's the kind of movie where you feel bad for the actors. Not the kind where you end up angry about wasting an evening.
 
2012-12-13 12:09:29 PM
I am a movie critic by trade, and until recently, I got paid to tell you people which movies merely stink and which ones you shouldn't screen near an open flame. Well, I'm putting the burden of lousy movies back on you. It's very simple: if you stop going to bad movies, they'll stop making bad movies. If the movie used to be a TV show, just don't go. After Roman numeral II, give it a rest. If it's a remake of a classic, rent the classic. Tell them you want stories about people, not a hundred million dollars of stunts and explosives. People, it's up to you. If the movie stinks, just don't go.
 
2012-12-13 12:45:07 PM
I absolutely loved Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I haven't laughed so hard in a movie theater for ages.

I mean, I know it wasn't technically a comedy, but god damn that movie was so deadpan serious and over the top that whether they meant it to be one or not, it was comedy gold.
 
2012-12-13 12:49:53 PM
It's obvious that this fellow doesn't like camp. #1 was fantastic. Campy as hell. Fun. Had an amazing train explosion/crash scene. Battleship was also campy. Fun and campy. A huge majority of people don't like camp. That doesn't mean the movie is awful. I don't like realistic violence. If I judged good and bad films by realistic violence content, I would be calling some really awesome films "bad". If you don't like camp, you won't like these movies. However, if you can still sit and watch Xena Warrior Princess and thoroughly enjoy it, you will probably like these movies. Prometheus was a bad film I tend to judge a film based on technical stuff and story. No plot, bad direction, terrible sound, score doesn't work = bad. Not really my thing, but there's a plot, I can actually hear all the dialogue, music adds to the film, direction seems pretty good = good film.
 
2012-12-13 12:59:13 PM

bossuniversalAA: i watched this for the first time the other day

i192.photobucket.com

better than anything released in 2012



OMG. You havent seen Exterminator 2 yet then?
No joke. That film is great. I saw it in the Drive-in half-dozen times when I was a kid.
Here is the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEjSBGKgyc0
 
2012-12-13 01:04:05 PM

TheSelphie: This list sucks. I haven't seen TOO many movies from this year, but Silent Hill Revelation absolutely deserved to be on the list. And Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter really wasn't THAT bad. Ok, it could have been a lot better, but it was still entertaining and a decent popcorn flick. #1 on the list? You gotta be farking kidding me.


I have yet to meet a person who read the book (which was fantastic) and also liked the movie. They were literally two different things entirely. Silver had nothing to do with the book, yet was a huge (and dumb) plot point in the movie. There was no BAYSPLOSIONS! train fight.

I went in expecting to see the book in movie form, and instead got a very, very dumbed down version of it to appeal to the action masses. I expected some changes to be made, but not an entirely different story.
 
2012-12-13 01:33:22 PM
List fails without the Man With the Iron Fists or whatever that abomination was called
 
2012-12-13 02:04:19 PM
I don't get how you can say Taken 2 was terrible. Movie was exactly what I expected it to be. Very entertaining albeit stupid movie.

TDKR was awful. To be fair, I don't like super hero movies that much but as far as that genre goes that movie was one of the worst. I liked the first a lot. This one was just tedious . glum, and boring.

I don't know if Cedar Rapids came out this year or last, but that was awesome. So was Another Happy Day.
 
2012-12-13 02:24:22 PM

Tourney3p0: I liked Sinister. It was a bit predictable, but horror movies lately have set a low bar.


I loved it. It starts out as a haunted house movie and transforms into something entirely original. The sound and art direction were also a step above most horror films. Easily my favorite horror film since Drag Me To Hell.
 
2012-12-13 02:41:45 PM

caddisfly: Tourney3p0: I liked Sinister. It was a bit predictable, but horror movies lately have set a low bar.

I loved it. It starts out as a haunted house movie and transforms into something entirely original. The sound and art direction were also a step above most horror films. Easily my favorite horror film since Drag Me To Hell.


Did you watch Cabin in the Woods? That's a damn good horror film.
 
2012-12-13 03:01:56 PM
Prometheus was the worst movie of 2012. Not because it was awful, but because of how awesome it could have been if they had staid with the original script.
 
2012-12-13 03:14:26 PM

bdub77: Hebalo:
Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.

SKYFALL SPOILERS BELOW IF YOU HAVENT SEEN BUT....

Let me see if I have the plot of Skyfall down. A former MI6 supervillain devises perhaps the most ludicrous plot of all time to get caught by MI6 so he can use an insanely complicated polymorphic computer virus to escape and then kill M, even though Bond can quite easily break into M's house at night, as we saw in basically every movie. Then Bond comes up with a "plan" in which he will let two dozen people attack him in a shoddy castle in the middle of farking nowhere while telling no one where he is going, because it's not like they could have figured out a low tech way of communicating with other law enforcement. Oh and M dies in the end anyway, so basically the whole thing was a total failure.

What. The. fark.


I took from the movie that M deserved the punishment inflicted upon her for allowing MI6's computer security to be so badly managed. No intelligence agency should have a list of every undercover NATO operative on any device that ever leaves a secure facility. Encryption keys for secured devices that do need to leave a secured MI6 facility should never on any computer accessible over any network; ideally, they should be stored on a disconnected storage medium that is kept in a locked storage location within a secure facility. Detection of intrusion known to be for the purpose of obtaining encryption keys that have been irresponsibly placed on a network location should be met with an immediate termination of the connection, even if that termination requires physically cutting a cable, not an order from the department director instructing their security technicians to allow the intrusion to continue. Absolutely no intelligent computer engineer who deserved to work for a security agency would ever connect an unknown computer device to the agency network; they would instead have a quarantined, closed network if network analysis of the unknown system was needed. Additionally, prison cells -- especially those intended for high-risk targets -- should never be controlled from the local network, especially the same network to which an idiot system administrator is willing to connect an entirely unknown and untrusted computer system.

I enjoyed Skyfall as a "Bond" action movie. As a computer system administrator, however, the incompetence in configuring computer security depicted at MI6 greatly upset me and I was not disappointed in the fate of the manager who allowed that incompetence to flourish.
 
2012-12-13 03:19:45 PM

scottydoesntknow: caddisfly: Tourney3p0: I liked Sinister. It was a bit predictable, but horror movies lately have set a low bar.

I loved it. It starts out as a haunted house movie and transforms into something entirely original. The sound and art direction were also a step above most horror films. Easily my favorite horror film since Drag Me To Hell.

Did you watch Cabin in the Woods? That's a damn good horror film.


The Cabin in the Woods may be an anti-horror film. Many individuals who do not enjoy horror movies enjoyed it.
 
2012-12-13 04:15:06 PM

Hebalo: Skyfall was the most overhyped imho. It was good, but the reviews and first people out of the theatre were jizzing themselves over it. It was.... decent, but hardly one of the best.


I couldn't agree more. I didn't hate it, but it was far from as good as everyone kept saying it was.

I don't see a lot of movies, so I tend to miss most of the bad ones. The worst movie I saw in 2012 was Savages. If I'd known my girlfriend was hating it as much as I was, we'd have walked out of the theater.
 
2012-12-13 04:28:18 PM

Minus 1 Charisma: [laist.com image 320x320]

Yes that's right.

Quit lowering your standards. Quit allowing crap like the above to make hundreds of millions just because it has a superhero in it. Please America, use your wallet to force Hollywood to consider making good movies again. I'm begging you.


You should've said this BEFORE they saw "The Amazing Spider-Man."
 
2012-12-13 04:28:41 PM

TheLopper: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: DamnYankees: I kind of like him, actually.

Likewise.

I was pleasantly surprised by what Channing Tatum brought to 21 Jump Street.

And that's a sentence I'd never imagine typing.

Because he had to play the deadpan, meathead, dumb jock with the stupid look on his face the whole movie? That was some range he exhibited there, I'll give you that.


You must be fun at parties. Sounds like either your girl likes Tatum and you're seething with envy, or you haven't seen the movie yet. It is absolutely hilarious.
 
2012-12-13 04:36:57 PM

Tyrone Slothrop: Frothy Panties: proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey

The Grey? Really?

The way it was sold, I think a lot of people expected to see Liam Neeson beating up wolves for the entire movie.


Exactly! Most misleading trailers ever. Luckily, I watched it on Netflix.
 
2012-12-13 06:02:05 PM
Bukharin


Smartest
Funniest

2012-12-13 12:59:13 PM

bossuniversalAA: i watched this for the first time the other day

i192.photobucket.com

better than anything released in 2012


OMG. You havent seen Exterminator 2 yet then?
No joke. That film is great. I saw it in the Drive-in half-dozen times when I was a kid.
Here is the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEjSBGKgyc0


i'm going to check it out if i can find it.

for me, the exterminator was like listening to blag flag with keith morris for the first time. it was that awesome! Hell, the first five minutes is the visual equivalent of slayer covering in-a-gad-da-vida. it makes bronson's character from death wish seem like the mother theresa. i realize a low budget movie from 1980 shouldn't be better than an alien movie or even a batman movie from 2012, but hey, those movies didn't have a death/rape by soldering iron, a '68 chevelle or a gang called the ghetto ghouls.
 
2012-12-13 06:05:45 PM

The Banana Thug: Tyrone Slothrop: Frothy Panties: proteon: Hunger Games
Flight
Total Recall
Taken 2
Expendables 2
Judge Dredd
Dark Shadows
Wrath of the Titans
The Grey

The Grey? Really?

The way it was sold, I think a lot of people expected to see Liam Neeson beating up wolves for the entire movie.

Exactly! Most misleading trailers ever. Luckily, I watched it on Netflix.


Wait, you mean it WASN'T two hours of Liam Neeson whaling on wolves? I guess my imagination filled that in after the trailer. What the hell did they do instead? Have him hang out in the snow with a bunch of dudes?
 
2012-12-13 06:22:46 PM

Fano: Wait, you mean it WASN'T two hours of Liam Neeson whaling on wolves? I guess my imagination filled that in after the trailer. What the hell did they do instead? Have him hang out in the snow with a bunch of dudes?


The Grey was exactly like every single other "oh crap I'm stranded in ______ " There are killers wolves, someone breaks a leg, people die. It was a 50 million $ b movie. The Canyon & Frozen are both more enjoyable and cost about 50 times less. They also didn't come with the pretense of being legit films.
 
2012-12-13 06:26:57 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: *Nodding* It was plain to see that it was a horribly misguided notion, perhaps one of the worst cash grabs in cinematic history. Real head-scratcher as to why it was greenlit.

There's that whole unfortunate mode of thought that dictates: "Well, it's a recognizable brand, therefore, people will see this because it's stuff they recognize."

Sadly, when a movie made for $50 million pulls in $234 million, the studio execs will scream "IT WORKED" and keep chugging along that path as soon as they come down from their rampant illicit substance binges.


I'm waiting for "The Hangover VII". It'll so dominate the first six installments.
 
2012-12-13 06:42:10 PM

bossuniversalAA: i'm going to check it out if i can find it.

for me, the exterminator was like listening to blag flag with keith morris for the first time. it was that awesome! Hell, the first five minutes is the visual equivalent of slayer covering in-a-gad-da-vida. it makes bronson's character from death wish seem like the mother theresa. i realize a low budget movie from 1980 shouldn't be better than an alien movie or even a batman movie from 2012, but hey, those movies didn't have a death/rape by soldering iron, a '68 chevelle or a gang called the ghetto ghouls.



Word.
Good luck on the search.
 
2012-12-13 07:02:52 PM

Fano: Who, precisely was the Three Stooges movie made for?


i44.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-13 08:32:48 PM
Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter SHOULD have starred Bruce Campbell and been directed by Raimi. And written by the Coens.
 
2012-12-13 09:41:33 PM

meat0918: I can forgive all the plot holes, all the bad story, the failure to run left, I can forgive it all, except one thing.


Okay, I laughed HARD.


No woman, on this planet or any other planet or moon in the universe, is gonna be ready for lovin' after being told that because of her barren womb she's essentially useless and that her religious beliefs are bupkiss.

Mmhmm.

Quite right on that.
 
2012-12-14 12:38:57 AM

Combustion: Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter SHOULD have starred Bruce Campbell and been directed by Raimi. And written by the Coens.


THIS. Bruce Campbell is just plain awesome. Hell, he more or less makes Burn Notice watchable
 
2012-12-14 04:08:20 AM

meat0918: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Shrugging Atlas: Prometheus was visually awesome and I thought the acting was good to great. The plot was just a hot farking mess, to the point I'm not even interested in a sequel. Glad I saw it, but way over hyped.

I'd agree with that.

Noomi Rapace deserved better.


I've said it once, and I'll say it again.

I can forgive all the plot holes, all the bad story, the failure to run left, I can forgive it all, except one thing.

No woman, on this planet or any other planet or moon in the universe, is gonna be ready for lovin' after being told that because of her barren womb she's essentially useless and that her religious beliefs are bupkiss.


Did he say that? I thought he just told her reproduction was unimpressive.
 
2012-12-14 04:51:53 AM

RatMaster999: Fano: Who, precisely was the Three Stooges movie made for?

[i44.tinypic.com image 800x438]


My god, that is funny. You have made my day.
 
2012-12-14 08:08:06 AM

RatMaster999: Fano: Who, precisely was the Three Stooges movie made for?

[i44.tinypic.com image 800x438]


The Snout knows exactly who made that caption. That person could not be traced for comment.
 
2012-12-14 08:14:42 AM

RatMaster999: Fano: Who, precisely was the Three Stooges movie made for?

[i44.tinypic.com image 800x438]


LOL! The opic is funny, but Hung Dong......BWAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

/Classic!
 
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