If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Daily Beast)   Mall employee on shooting: "I wish my boyfriend was there. He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot"   (thedailybeast.com) divider line 56
    More: Stupid, semi-automatic rifle, ores, Call of Duty, Clackamas County, The Daily Beast, Sharon Baggs, Alina Pazlenko, guns  
•       •       •

7591 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2012 at 2:37 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-12 02:36:36 PM  
51 votes:
"Hon, you stay here, I'm going to go tell the shooter his mother is a whore and try to get him to ragequit."
2012-12-12 02:44:25 PM  
14 votes:
If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.
2012-12-12 02:40:07 PM  
12 votes:
It's a well known fact that the marine core watches online game boards and tries to recruit the elite Call of Duty gamers.
GBB
2012-12-12 02:39:59 PM  
7 votes:
t2.gstatic.com
2012-12-12 02:47:35 PM  
6 votes:
"He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.
2012-12-12 02:51:44 PM  
5 votes:

Slaves2Darkness: offmymeds: "He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.

I've played a lot of Batteltech, so I know how to handle a 70 ton walking tank.


I've played a lot with myself. I know how to handle pricks.
2012-12-12 03:27:12 PM  
4 votes:
cdn3.hark.com
Numchuck skills... bowhunting skills... computer hacking skills...
Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. Gah!
2012-12-12 02:55:27 PM  
4 votes:
I've played a lot of Borderlands, so I know how to handle exploding midgets.
2012-12-12 02:49:31 PM  
4 votes:

offmymeds: "He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.


Obviously, you stand on the highest pile of corpses you can and fire your pistol into the air.
2012-12-12 02:49:27 PM  
4 votes:

offmymeds: "He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.


I've played a lot of Batteltech, so I know how to handle a 70 ton walking tank.
2012-12-12 02:49:09 PM  
4 votes:
bunny hopping and running around akimbo while screaming racists comments is no way to go through life son.
2012-12-12 02:41:03 PM  
4 votes:
I'd whiteknight her to you but I have to be at the mall in 26 minutes.
2012-12-12 02:39:59 PM  
4 votes:
This chick's a keeper. She'd believe anything you told her.
2012-12-12 02:52:41 PM  
3 votes:
dl.dropbox.com

ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.


Her Boyfriend works as a model.
He's from Canada... you havn't met him.
2012-12-12 02:46:43 PM  
3 votes:

Coiled Hot 1: ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.

Maybe her snatch??


That's a boatload of wishful thinking there Francis
2012-12-12 02:45:25 PM  
3 votes:
Well she has a point. He only got a 2 kill streak. You need 3 to even get a UAV.
2012-12-12 04:36:28 PM  
2 votes:
I've played a lot of oCD, so I could have totally counted how many rounds the guy fired, exactly.
2012-12-12 03:01:25 PM  
2 votes:
Right Hon, your BF would wet his pants
smalbanynewyork.files.wordpress.com
2012-12-12 02:51:31 PM  
2 votes:
So her boyfriend would have killed 5 innocent people to get a UAV killstreak to locate the shooter, then kill 2 more civilians to unlock his harrier and then use the harrier to take down the shooter?
2012-12-12 02:50:44 PM  
2 votes:
I was going to write a whole "this is part of the problem" post. But then I had an aneurism from the stupid.
2012-12-12 02:49:26 PM  
2 votes:
Well he's got a gf. Can't say that about most farkers
2012-12-12 02:48:50 PM  
2 votes:
Well if she had just been packing an M-4 or P90 then this whole tragedy could have been avoided. All she would have had to do is put a three round burst right into the guys eye and nobody else would have had to have gotten killed.
2012-12-12 02:48:05 PM  
2 votes:
If she was my daughter I'd have a vasectomy.
2012-12-12 02:45:55 PM  
2 votes:

ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.


Maybe her snatch??
2012-12-12 02:45:38 PM  
2 votes:
No she did--

*reads article*

...Oh...yes...yes she did.

For that alone, this thread should consist solely of facepalm pics.
2012-12-12 02:45:11 PM  
2 votes:
Somehow I think his skills of sucking down Mt Dew and Cheetos while screaming "Motherfarking whore" Would help much
2012-12-12 02:44:55 PM  
2 votes:
If he was really on top of things, he would have noticed the shooter was firing an AR-15, and then simply waited for the thing to jam.
2012-12-12 02:42:04 PM  
2 votes:
So there is hope for Freepers after all?


Good to know...good to know...
2012-12-12 02:39:39 PM  
2 votes:
Sure he does hon... it's called respawn.
2012-12-12 11:08:37 PM  
1 votes:

BHShaman: People don't know shiat about what it takes to handle a real situation with real people and real pullets.


www.huntingtoncountytab.com
2012-12-12 08:21:51 PM  
1 votes:
So I played a lot of GTA Vice City. Does that mean I have a lot of knowledge about how to kill hookers for my money back and how to drive ice cream trucks full of cocaine all over Miami?
2012-12-12 06:38:32 PM  
1 votes:
I've played a lot of Duke Nukem in my life, so if i was there, i'd have taken my steroids, and kicked him.
Then, i'd have gone and tipped a few strippers.
2012-12-12 04:59:04 PM  
1 votes:
CSB:

I had just returned home from WLC training, which is what you have to take in the Army when you make sergeant. So we'd spent a little over a week straight in the woods, doing squad level scenarios - convoy hit by IED, flanking maneuvers, tactical patrol, room clearing, suppressive fire while waiting for air support, on and on and on. Most of the class was on the short list for either Iraq or Afghanistan, so the instructors took it very seriously.

Was in Best Buy the weekend following, and tried out Call of Duty on Xbox/PS3/whatever, since no one was on and the store was almost empty. Within 2 minutes I had a couple of teenagers behind me screaming things like "YOU CAN'T JUST FIRE FROM BEHIND THE CONCRETE BUNKER!! RUN OUT IN THE OPEN AND ZIGZAG SO THEY CAN'T HIT YOU!!"

While making a casual exit, I could hear them discussing how 99% of the public wouldn't know how to survive a real firefight. They were entirely serious.
2012-12-12 04:51:13 PM  
1 votes:

azmarine: Pocket Ninja: It's a well known fact that the marine core watches online game boards and tries to recruit the elite Call of Duty gamers.

It's the Marine Corps and you are a moron.


i641.photobucket.com
2012-12-12 04:35:08 PM  
1 votes:
You need to check your White Man reason and logic at the door. This is fark.
2012-12-12 04:35:00 PM  
1 votes:

BHShaman: vegasj: Can't find a better anti-gun source?

While the video is obviously slanted, the simulation speaks volumes.

The comment was more towards mall ninjas, airsoft, and CoD players who think their hot shiat because they can go get a real gun, aim straight, and then qualify for a CCW. Then, assume they will be kicking ass and taking names.

BTW... I've shot guns since I was 5. My Dad was a SWAT member.
People don't know shiat about what it takes to handle a real situation with real people and real pullets.
Unless you have had significant tactical training, your best bet is to either run like hell or, failing that opportunity, play dead. A CCW WILL NOT help most people. And that is not an "anti-gun' statement.



i641.photobucket.com

Real pullets.
2012-12-12 04:32:47 PM  
1 votes:

TheSteamingPile: Kazrath: BHShaman: Let's check in and see in this simulation how well that CoD and the Airsoft folks do with real firearms (shooting real ammo tipped with paint blotters) and in a simulation based on recent events....

Pops

Sorry, but I watched the whole video and that testing was VERY flawed.

#1 The student always sat in the same place for each test
#2 The "Gunman" did exactly the same thing in each scenario. Walk out, shoot the instructor. Turn, fire at the student sitting in step one location.

If the test was more randomized the results would have been quite a bit different.

I am not arguing one main point made in the video. Training for those circumstances will make you react better. There is no doubt about that. I am just complaining about the flawed test being used to "Drive home a point" when the test was geared for failure. I suspect it could have been a trained, active, navy seal and the results would have been the same due to the "script" the gunman was able to play.

Yep, you took the words right off of my fingertips. How many times, in a real world scenario, is a 'bad guy' going to know who the only person in the room with a concealed weapon is AND exactly where they are sitting. Hardly scientific, but then again, the anti-gun lobby will do anything to restrict the rights and freedoms of others.

Also, don't forget, this woman's 'boyfriend' would have had to called the killers sexuality into question at least a dozen times.


I don't want you to misunderstand me here.

If this scenario was run properly:

* Gunman was told he is doing a social experiment on how a classroom reacts to a gunman opening fire. He is given 2 magazines and told to kill as many people as he can w/o leaving the class room. Run this one time before introducing a CHL.

* CHL is doing a (CHL training / gun training) class. Is the only one in the classroom provided a firearm and is told to not let anyone know he has the weapon.

Start scenario:

If the scenario was run 3-5 times with a single CHL. Then run 3-5 times with 3 - 4 CHL in the classroom and they used a different gunman every time the scenario would at least be accurate. The CHL would not realize the gunman would show up. The gunman would not know there were CHL in the classroom.

If the results ended up being very negative overall then I would agree that having CHL in a classroom is a bad idea. However, if having 3-4 CHL provided significantly better results than 0 or 1 I would be completely for CHL on campus. And if the results were very mixed then "Your best judgement" for the colleges is fine.
2012-12-12 04:28:52 PM  
1 votes:
cdn-9.nflximg.com
2012-12-12 04:17:19 PM  
1 votes:
I played a lot of Pac Man, so I'd take a giant pill and then run around trying to eat the ghosts that spent my life fleeing from.
2012-12-12 04:15:27 PM  
1 votes:
They interviewed the guy from teh Excalibur shop on the radio. Instead of going all Highlander he hid on the ground in the back. Either that or dual wielding axes would have been awesome. Can you imagine the guy thinking.. "now is my time!".
2012-12-12 04:03:52 PM  
1 votes:

Insatiable Jesus: DaCaptain19: Marcus Aurelius: If he was really on top of things, he would have noticed the shooter was firing an AR-15, and then simply waited for the thing to jam.

You must have a really cheap AR-15. My Colt H-Bar Match Competition AR-15 never has jammed on me once. And I shoot it a LOT. Of course I also clean and oil my guns - you know - maintenance? That helps as well.

-----------------------

Mags seem to have more to do with jams than the gun itself, in my experience. My pre-ban 30 rd mags have NEVER caused a jam for me, being the real deal. But I've got some cheap 10rd mags that can be counted upon to jam at least once in an afternoon. Granted, this is 7.62 and a real AK I usually shoot, but my Valmet in .223 has never jammed on me with the factory 30rd mags. Cheap ammo might also be a factor?


That's why I always equip Pmags in Medal of Honor.
2012-12-12 03:42:56 PM  
1 votes:
I wish my daughter was here, she plays Minecraft and could have tamed a wolf to go hostile on his ass.
2012-12-12 03:42:49 PM  
1 votes:
Jesus-f*ckin-Christ.

She should be kicked in the coont until dead. F*cking U.S. is so SO stupid.

I say that as a gun owner. If you own a pistol and you're not shooting 100 rounds or more per month at the range? Just f*cking melt the damn gun down. You clearly cannot be a responsible owner if you have no idea or training or don't continue to practice on how to actually hit your target.

For a country that has guns as part of its culture (U.S.) it is sad that 99.9999999% of our people are totally ignorant and/or plain retarded when it comes to using/owning guns. "OOooooo - 3 people died!" Do you know how many f*ckers died that very day from smoking-related illnesses?

Call of Duty....f*cking shiat for brains, you dumb-f*ck chick.
2012-12-12 03:33:58 PM  
1 votes:
If the victims had just played more Borderlands, they could've thrown Bloodwing out from behind cover and all of this would've been averted.
2012-12-12 03:25:57 PM  
1 votes:
I play a lot of Galaga, so I know how to defend against flying aliens.
2012-12-12 03:21:56 PM  
1 votes:
i641.photobucket.com
2012-12-12 03:19:54 PM  
1 votes:

vegasj: BHShaman: Let's check in and see in this simulation how well that CoD and the Airsoft folks do with real firearms (shooting real ammo tipped with paint blotters) and in a simulation based on recent events....

Pops

dude, you posted a link to a video by ABC for one... and that has 1,630 thumbs up yet 19,557 thumbs down. Can't find a better anti-gun source?



Youtube downvotes.... destroyer of facts.
2012-12-12 03:03:23 PM  
1 votes:
I played a lot of Quake 2, Clan Arena. So I know everything there is to know about shooting an explosive at your feet and jumping at the same time it explodes, so that I can propel myself at nearly the speed of sound through hallways full of sharp corners. The key is bunny hopping.
2012-12-12 02:59:52 PM  
1 votes:

Insatiable Jesus: I can see where having played those types of games might make one better suited than the average person to getting out of a hairy situation involving gunfire. Even in an FPS game cover and concealment are critical. An instinctive understanding of the fact that reload cycle takes time might save somebody's life. Maybe you see the mass shooter drop his AR and pull out a pistol at 50 yards and know that he probably doesn't have a chance in hell of hitting you and you take that moment to run. Or knowing that checking behind you is key.

Not saying it makes anybody an expert at small arms combat, only that some things might be learned that otherwise you would be ignorant of.


You also learn never to stand near red barrels.
2012-12-12 02:58:57 PM  
1 votes:
img341.imageshack.us

Uploaded with ImageShack.us
2012-12-12 02:52:06 PM  
1 votes:
If he played BF3, he would have single seated him with a TV missle.
2012-12-12 02:49:53 PM  
1 votes:
"Well, hey, I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage"
2012-12-12 02:46:12 PM  
1 votes:
For her sake, I hope she's hot.
2012-12-12 02:41:28 PM  
1 votes:
let me just edit this sentence for my own amusement...

"I wish my boyfriend was there. [He]... has a lot of knowledge about ... what to do in a tight spot"

that's what she said.
2012-12-12 02:41:14 PM  
1 votes:

GBB: [t2.gstatic.com image 237x212]


Beat me by ten seconds.
2012-12-12 02:39:33 PM  
1 votes:

itsdan: "Hon, you stay here, I'm going to go tell the shooter his mother is a whore and try to get him to ragequit."


Done in 1...
 
Displayed 56 of 56 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


Report