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(The Daily Beast)   Mall employee on shooting: "I wish my boyfriend was there. He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot"   (thedailybeast.com) divider line 232
    More: Stupid, semi-automatic rifle, ores, Call of Duty, Clackamas County, The Daily Beast, Sharon Baggs, Alina Pazlenko, guns  
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7592 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2012 at 2:37 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-12 02:36:36 PM  
"Hon, you stay here, I'm going to go tell the shooter his mother is a whore and try to get him to ragequit."
 
2012-12-12 02:38:45 PM  
And what is his name, this guy/
the employee?
 
2012-12-12 02:39:33 PM  

itsdan: "Hon, you stay here, I'm going to go tell the shooter his mother is a whore and try to get him to ragequit."


Done in 1...
 
2012-12-12 02:39:39 PM  
Sure he does hon... it's called respawn.
 
2012-12-12 02:39:59 PM  
This chick's a keeper. She'd believe anything you told her.
 
GBB
2012-12-12 02:39:59 PM  
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-12 02:40:07 PM  
It's a well known fact that the marine core watches online game boards and tries to recruit the elite Call of Duty gamers.
 
2012-12-12 02:41:03 PM  
I'd whiteknight her to you but I have to be at the mall in 26 minutes.
 
2012-12-12 02:41:14 PM  

GBB: [t2.gstatic.com image 237x212]


Beat me by ten seconds.
 
2012-12-12 02:41:28 PM  
let me just edit this sentence for my own amusement...

"I wish my boyfriend was there. [He]... has a lot of knowledge about ... what to do in a tight spot"

that's what she said.
 
2012-12-12 02:42:04 PM  
So there is hope for Freepers after all?


Good to know...good to know...
 
2012-12-12 02:43:56 PM  
Let's check in and see in this simulation how well that CoD and the Airsoft folks do with real firearms (shooting real ammo tipped with paint blotters) and in a simulation based on recent events....

Pops
 
2012-12-12 02:44:25 PM  
If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.
 
2012-12-12 02:44:55 PM  
If he was really on top of things, he would have noticed the shooter was firing an AR-15, and then simply waited for the thing to jam.
 
2012-12-12 02:45:11 PM  
Somehow I think his skills of sucking down Mt Dew and Cheetos while screaming "Motherfarking whore" Would help much
 
2012-12-12 02:45:25 PM  
Well she has a point. He only got a 2 kill streak. You need 3 to even get a UAV.
 
2012-12-12 02:45:38 PM  
No she did--

*reads article*

...Oh...yes...yes she did.

For that alone, this thread should consist solely of facepalm pics.
 
2012-12-12 02:45:55 PM  

ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.


Maybe her snatch??
 
2012-12-12 02:46:12 PM  
For her sake, I hope she's hot.
 
2012-12-12 02:46:43 PM  

Coiled Hot 1: ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.

Maybe her snatch??


That's a boatload of wishful thinking there Francis
 
2012-12-12 02:47:33 PM  
Actually, that makes a bit of sense. COD gives you a good sense of taking cover and tactical situations. Not much good though for a unarmed civilian in that type of situation.
 
2012-12-12 02:47:35 PM  
"He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.
 
2012-12-12 02:48:05 PM  
If she was my daughter I'd have a vasectomy.
 
2012-12-12 02:48:50 PM  
Well if she had just been packing an M-4 or P90 then this whole tragedy could have been avoided. All she would have had to do is put a three round burst right into the guys eye and nobody else would have had to have gotten killed.
 
2012-12-12 02:49:09 PM  
bunny hopping and running around akimbo while screaming racists comments is no way to go through life son.
 
2012-12-12 02:49:26 PM  
Well he's got a gf. Can't say that about most farkers
 
2012-12-12 02:49:27 PM  

offmymeds: "He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.


I've played a lot of Batteltech, so I know how to handle a 70 ton walking tank.
 
2012-12-12 02:49:31 PM  

offmymeds: "He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.


Obviously, you stand on the highest pile of corpses you can and fire your pistol into the air.
 
2012-12-12 02:49:53 PM  
"Well, hey, I didn't spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage"
 
2012-12-12 02:50:44 PM  
I was going to write a whole "this is part of the problem" post. But then I had an aneurism from the stupid.
 
2012-12-12 02:50:53 PM  

GBB: [t2.gstatic.com image 237x212]


We have a winner. Well done.
 
2012-12-12 02:51:31 PM  
So her boyfriend would have killed 5 innocent people to get a UAV killstreak to locate the shooter, then kill 2 more civilians to unlock his harrier and then use the harrier to take down the shooter?
 
2012-12-12 02:51:44 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: offmymeds: "He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.

I've played a lot of Batteltech, so I know how to handle a 70 ton walking tank.


I've played a lot with myself. I know how to handle pricks.
 
2012-12-12 02:51:48 PM  

Abuse Liability: Coiled Hot 1: ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.

Maybe her snatch??

That's a boatload of wishful thinking there Francis


Maybe your mom then, oh wait never mind. Francis....
 
2012-12-12 02:51:55 PM  

Slaves2Darkness: offmymeds: "He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot."

I know what she means. I've played a lot of Warhammer40k, so I know how to handle Ork invasions.

I've played a lot of Batteltech, so I know how to handle a 70 ton walking tank.


I want fusion reactors so those can become real...I'd join whatever I had to to pilot one of them things.
 
2012-12-12 02:52:06 PM  
If he played BF3, he would have single seated him with a TV missle.
 
2012-12-12 02:52:11 PM  

Glancing Blow: If she was my daughter I'd have a vasectomy.

Only Richard Mourdock thinks an post-birth vasectomy prevents the conception.
 
2012-12-12 02:52:41 PM  
dl.dropbox.com

ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.


Her Boyfriend works as a model.
He's from Canada... you havn't met him.
 
2012-12-12 02:54:46 PM  
Too bad it's not battlefield 1942 and the lot is full of volvos... lay a couple mines on one and hop in with 3 friends. you'll be invisible.

Spoken by a guy who played entirely too much of that game years ago
 
2012-12-12 02:55:11 PM  
I'm still waiting for a controller that can buck like a gun. All they have are pussy "vibrations" so that my hands can feel when I blow up gas depots and sh*t.

http://bvvp...bvvp....bvvvvvvvvvvvvvvp/
 
2012-12-12 02:55:21 PM  
He bagged her by drawing a picture of her. He spent like 3 hours just shading the upper lip. Then he caught her a delicious bass.
 
2012-12-12 02:55:27 PM  
I've played a lot of Borderlands, so I know how to handle exploding midgets.
 
2012-12-12 02:55:37 PM  
Hmmm, I'm going to personally send this kid to down to Thunder Ranch, or to one of Hilton Yam or Larry Vickers' training courses. Let's see what he does in the realworld.
 
2012-12-12 02:56:02 PM  
Hope he's a Buddhist as well if he thinks respawning is an option.
 
2012-12-12 02:56:04 PM  
I wish I knew why, when I change text to italics, that http:// is added.
 
2012-12-12 02:56:19 PM  
"I'm stuck in the back room of build a bear," added @RyFrisco.

Surround yourself with stuffing!
 
2012-12-12 02:56:57 PM  
Someone actually said that stupid sh*t? I mean, someone actually put those words together into that sentence, and then said it out loud? Wow.
 
2012-12-12 02:57:13 PM  
I can see where having played those types of games might make one better suited than the average person to getting out of a hairy situation involving gunfire. Even in an FPS game cover and concealment are critical. An instinctive understanding of the fact that reload cycle takes time might save somebody's life. Maybe you see the mass shooter drop his AR and pull out a pistol at 50 yards and know that he probably doesn't have a chance in hell of hitting you and you take that moment to run. Or knowing that checking behind you is key.

Not saying it makes anybody an expert at small arms combat, only that some things might be learned that otherwise you would be ignorant of.
 
2012-12-12 02:57:40 PM  

ChipNASA: If her "boyfriend" plays Call of Duty so much, he's never been in a "tight spot" in his life.


Maybe it's a loose spot, and she's just flattering herself?
 
2012-12-12 02:57:50 PM  

Pockafrusta: If he played BF3, he would have single seated him with a TV missle.


Hahahahaha. Classic.

"I wish my boyfriend were here. He plays a lot of Battlefield 3, so he would have hopped in a jet, flew it to the mall, jumped out, and then while parachuting down no-scoped that punk out of his vehicle on his way to do the shooting."
 
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