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(CNN)   IKEA monkey mom wants her monkey back   (cnn.com) divider line 134
    More: Followup, IKEA  
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12046 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2012 at 3:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-12 03:52:41 PM

Diogenes: kombat_unit: Was the monkey illegally possessed?

I think the Church frowns on all possessions.


assets0.ordienetworks.com
 
2012-12-12 03:52:57 PM

Shazam999: Joe Peanut: dogdaze: Why did she lose it in the first place?

Monkeys aren't very good at following commands such as "wait in the car while I shop for crappy furniture".

God I hate to say this but Ikea's stuff is getting a little bit better. They took a serious quality nosedive before the economy tanked, and now I guess they're trying to get customers back by not selling so much crappy stuff.


They're the Kia or Hyundai of the furniture world.
 
2012-12-12 03:53:59 PM
So is that monkey made of particle board and wood laminate?
 
2012-12-12 03:55:34 PM

Vegan Meat Popsicle: WhoGAS: Any text story for this?

Dumb broad thinks the monkey is a child and wants it back because she's a dumb broad. She should never be allowed to own another animal. Or breed.

That pretty much sums it up.


Look on the bright side... as long as she has an animal baby, maybe she won't have a real one.
 
2012-12-12 03:57:35 PM

AeAe: She can have my monkey.

note: I call my penis "monkey"


Too crazy.

hungryhealthyhappy.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-12 04:02:40 PM
And Cundalini wants his hand back.
 
2012-12-12 04:03:28 PM

FriarReb98: I totally missed this story, background please??


Background is where the farkin' AUTO-PLAY VIDEO is when I have 6 tabs open!! 


If only there was a tag we could use to warn people of video links......
 
2012-12-12 04:03:39 PM

kombat_unit: Was the monkey illegally possessed?


Yes, the demons lacked the proper paperwork
 
2012-12-12 04:03:55 PM

JackieRabbit: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Joe Peanut: dogdaze: Why did she lose it in the first place?

Monkeys aren't very good at following commands such as "wait in the car while I shop for crappy furniture".

I know MY monkey never follows orders.

Mine gives them.


Are you guys talkin' about Macaque?
 
2012-12-12 04:04:22 PM
Mommy is pretty damn good looking.
 
2012-12-12 04:05:31 PM
This is why it escaped..

majikthise.typepad.com
 
2012-12-12 04:06:01 PM
The take away is that crazy monkey lady may be the new crazy cat lady.
 
2012-12-12 04:07:18 PM
I had a couple of Rhesus monkeys when I lived in the Philippines. Oh yeah, deys cute as a button when young, but damm, when they grow up they are mean, mean, attack machines. Prepetual two year old brats with nasty teeth. They cannot be pets. Period.
 
2012-12-12 04:14:16 PM

GBB: Am I the only one that thought "employee" when I read "IKEA monkey"?


probably.
 
2012-12-12 04:16:05 PM
As I said before, she should have never left him in the car.
Monkey need smoke.
Monkey captured.
No more monkey.
 
2012-12-12 04:16:38 PM

mark12A: I had a couple of Rhesus monkeys when I lived in the Philippines. Oh yeah, deys cute as a button when young, but damm, when they grow up they are mean, mean, attack machines. Prepetual two year old brats with nasty teeth. They cannot be pets. Period.


Too be fair, how sweet was their wardrobes? Or did you leave them nekkid?
 
2012-12-12 04:24:26 PM

MorePeasPlease: Neither of the photos in question contain images of monkeys. Your argument is invalid.


ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?
 
2012-12-12 04:25:09 PM

MorePeasPlease: ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?


Welcome to my ignore list, dude.
 
2012-12-12 04:25:35 PM

Rincewind53: Dumski: Is already becoming a meme...

[weknowmemes.com image 427x765]


I laugh every time. I can't help it.
 
2012-12-12 04:26:13 PM

MorePeasPlease: MorePeasPlease: Neither of the photos in question contain images of monkeys. Your argument is invalid.

ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?


You are in a room with a gorilla, a chimpanzee, and a rhesus monkey. The gorilla has a banana, the chimpanzee has a stick, and the rhesus monkey has a rock. What is the smartest primate in the room?
 
2012-12-12 04:30:12 PM

ha-ha-guy: MorePeasPlease: MorePeasPlease: Neither of the photos in question contain images of monkeys. Your argument is invalid.

ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?

You are in a room with a gorilla, a chimpanzee, and a rhesus monkey. The gorilla has a banana, the chimpanzee has a stick, and the rhesus monkey has a rock. What is the smartest primate in the room?


Depends where they buried the survivors.
 
2012-12-12 04:30:25 PM

ha-ha-guy: You are in a room with a gorilla, a chimpanzee, and a rhesus monkey. The gorilla has a banana, the chimpanzee has a stick, and the rhesus monkey has a rock. What is the smartest primate in the room?


Trick question-is there a mouse lemur in my pocket?

/or am I just happy to see me?
 
2012-12-12 04:31:16 PM

MorePeasPlease: MorePeasPlease: ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?

Welcome to my ignore list, dude.


You forgot to change accounts before posting your reply, FYI.
 
2012-12-12 04:33:41 PM

MorePeasPlease: MorePeasPlease: ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?

Welcome to my ignore list, dude.


You know; the first sign of insanity is talking to yourself.
 
2012-12-12 04:33:52 PM

ariosto: MorePeasPlease: MorePeasPlease: ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?

Welcome to my ignore list, dude.

You forgot to change accounts before posting your reply, FYI.


Either that or I think we found someone crazier than the monkey's owner.
 
2012-12-12 04:35:26 PM

Curious: all that crap from the woman at the shelter about how the monkey would be able to express itself as a monkey and commune with the other monkeys is PC bullshiat.

they are going to keep in in a cage and hustle folks to pay for it.


Yes, she now has her own pet monkey. How nice.
 
2012-12-12 04:35:49 PM

dogdaze: Why did she lose it in the first place?



Toronto doesn't allow people to own certain animals.  That includes monkeys.
 
In an other article the woman said she lent the monkey to a friend of hers.  It got loose and ended up in the IKEA parking lot. 
 
2012-12-12 04:38:06 PM
Oh, give the woman a break. She might be a little crazy taking a surrogate child but she's got a point: the little thing is adorable.

And the little part is important. Any primate larger than this and you start facing serious trouble.
 
2012-12-12 04:43:53 PM

MorePeasPlease: MorePeasPlease: ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?

Welcome to my ignore list, dude.


Did you forget to switch to your alt?
 
2012-12-12 04:44:23 PM
Here is my $0.2.

Too often do people mistake the cute actions of monkeys as SO addorable only because they are so human-like. And perhaps they are. But most monkey species are not domesticated. They could snap at any moment.

But here is the other side of the situation. That woman raised that little guy from a baby. He now expects his human contact. If they put him into a cage with a bunch of other monkeys, he's not going to know how to take care of himself. He'll probably wind up hurt or dead.

This woman did a terrible disservice to this poor little fella's life.

Well, since the damage is done, just let her have it back.
 
2012-12-12 04:45:24 PM

wildcardjack: Oh, give the woman a break. She might be a little crazy taking a surrogate child but she's got a point: the little thing is adorable.

And the little part is important. Any primate larger than this and you start facing serious trouble.


Penis and face eatin' kind of trouble.
 
2012-12-12 04:47:08 PM
Who cares if she owns a monkey? It's small enough that the worst it will do is look adorable in little coats and fling poo at her.

How is it any different than owning a dog?
 
2012-12-12 04:47:21 PM

ha-ha-guy: You are in a room with a gorilla, a chimpanzee, and a rhesus monkey. The gorilla has a banana, the chimpanzee has a stick, and the rhesus monkey has a rock. What is the smartest primate in the room?


Wait, I know this! It's a trick question! The answer is THE BANANA!


data.whicdn.com
 
2012-12-12 04:49:34 PM
Monkey's should never be pets period. Once they hit puberty they get very violent and will instinctively attack the face and genitals.

People who love dangerous exotic pets are like crazy cat people, they get way too attached to the animal and don't realize the danger.
 
2012-12-12 04:51:30 PM
Really? I'm the only one who thinks this is sad? That the monkey is a scared child being taken away from the only home that he knows?
 
2012-12-12 04:52:24 PM
If only there was a monkey DREAM Act where the monkey that was raised here who's parents broke the law, not him, would be allowed to stay.
 
2012-12-12 04:52:48 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: Joe Peanut: dogdaze: Why did she lose it in the first place?

Monkeys aren't very good at following commands such as "wait in the car while I shop for crappy furniture".

I know MY monkey never follows orders.


Same here. That's why I have to constantly spank it. Especially when it gets a little rowdy in public.
 
2012-12-12 04:53:09 PM

FriarReb98: I totally missed this story, background please??



Here's the original thread from a few days ago.
 
http://www.fark.com/comments/7477197/Planet-of-Apes-is-coming-true-M on keys-are-now-getting-dressed-shopping-for-Swedish-furniture
 
2012-12-12 04:55:35 PM
♪ In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight ♫
 
2012-12-12 05:01:05 PM
all this and no one said ATTENTION WHORE!!!
 
2012-12-12 05:01:33 PM

Insatiable Jesus: The only thing in the story that isn't loathsome is the monkey. Dumbass owner on one hand and anthropomorphically deranged shelter worker could both help the world out by having a head on car crash.


Actually, the shelter worker was right on. He's a monkey. He should be a monkey. He should be around other monkeys. She couched is as "He should be himself" or words to that effect. She's saying he should be a monkey among other monkeys.

This is neither deranged nor anthropomorphic...or do you need to hear it from a man?
 
2012-12-12 05:03:54 PM

STRYPERSWINE: Really? I'm the only one who thinks this is sad? That the monkey is a scared child being taken away from the only home that he knows?



According to the followup thread this species of monkey needs specialized care.  They're also known carriers of Herpes B.  While the animal shows no symptoms as a host they can transmit it to humans through a bite or scratch.  Herpes B can be fatal to humans.
 
http://www.fark.com/comments/7478500/The-monkey-is-fine-You-can-all- go -home-now
 
2012-12-12 05:07:59 PM
Contents Under Pressure: Actually, the shelter worker was right on. He's a monkey. He should be a monkey. He should be around other monkeys. She couched is as "He should be himself" or words to that effect. She's saying he should be a monkey among other monkeys.



---------------------------------

Monkeys don't come from Canada. They don't typically live in cages. And now, this monkey is incapable of living in the wild after being raised with humans. So, let's just keep it locked in this metal cage while the tool responsible for cleaning shiat out of the cages waxes poetic about what monkeys are and are not. The sensible solution is to put it down, but noooooo, that would mean treating this cute, cuddly monkey like the chicken that went into my sandwich today, perish the thought. I know enough people in animal rescue to know that they are usually batshiat crazy when it comes to differentiating between people and animals. And in a world full of human suffering, they chose to go help farking animals. cuckoo.
 
2012-12-12 05:08:28 PM
as a regular reader of PeopleOfWalmart.com, I am not surprised at anybody having a monkey in a store. I am however surprised by a monkey with such a nice coat.

media.peopleofwalmart.com

\hot like the contents of a monkey's diapers
 
2012-12-12 05:19:43 PM
"Given the history and current-day context of racialized standards of beauty, and the hypersexualization of people of color, when a white woman makes fun of a black women's body, especially in a way that hypersexualizes her and draws on the stereotype of black women's big butts, it's racist,"

But it was my "service" animal.
 
2012-12-12 05:26:23 PM

ha-ha-guy: MorePeasPlease: MorePeasPlease: Neither of the photos in question contain images of monkeys. Your argument is invalid.

ORLY idiot, then what's the one in the coat-an ape?

You are in a room with a gorilla, a chimpanzee, and a rhesus monkey. The gorilla has a banana, the chimpanzee has a stick, and the rhesus monkey has a rock. What is the smartest primate in the room?


Certainly not me, if I willingly go into a room with those wild animals.

/does the rhesus monkey have dynamite?
 
2012-12-12 05:28:40 PM

Curious: all that crap from the woman at the shelter about how the monkey would be able to express itself as a monkey and commune with the other monkeys is PC bullshiat.

they are going to keep in in a cage and hustle folks to pay for it.


Worst of all, they took his coat!
 
2012-12-12 05:29:18 PM
Monkeys are not pets.

Dogs are pets. Cats are pets. Fish are decoration.
 
2012-12-12 05:33:11 PM
This person deserves to have her face eaten by a herpes-infested monkey.
 
2012-12-12 05:37:19 PM

durbnpoisn: Here is my $0.2.

Too often do people mistake the cute actions of monkeys as SO addorable only because they are so human-like. And perhaps they are. But most monkey species are not domesticated. They could snap at any moment.

But here is the other side of the situation. That woman raised that little guy from a baby. He now expects his human contact. If they put him into a cage with a bunch of other monkeys, he's not going to know how to take care of himself. He'll probably wind up hurt or dead.

This woman did a terrible disservice to this poor little fella's life.

Well, since the damage is done, just let her have it back.


The monkey is still a baby and can be rehabbed so that it fits in with other monkeys.
 
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