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(Newsnet5)   Oates bites Hall in the face. Watch out boy, he'll chew you up   (newsnet5.com) divider line 130
    More: Ironic, Scott Hall, Huron County, Ronald Mantz, Arlington Road, Norwalk, snacks  
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19385 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2012 at 1:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



130 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-12 10:52:17 AM
Every once in a while, it's just too easy, ain't it, subby
 
2012-12-12 11:02:20 AM
I can't go for that.
 
2012-12-12 11:09:31 AM
Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-12-12 11:16:31 AM
Say it isn't so.
 
2012-12-12 11:19:02 AM
They'll see his every move when he's serving time for assault
 
2012-12-12 11:19:26 AM
On a night when bad dreams become a screamer, when they're messin' with the dreamer, I can bite you in the face
 
2012-12-12 11:21:37 AM
Just saw this story and came to submit this exact joke. Damn you subby.
 
2012-12-12 11:59:20 AM
B-i-t-e-y-o-u-r-f-a-c-e
 
2012-12-12 12:37:30 PM
The crazed suspect also received cuts in the incident and was taken to a local hospital where a doctor sewed wild Oates.
 
2012-12-12 12:42:17 PM
Hall and Oates jokes make Sarah smile.
 
i.ytimg.com
 
2012-12-12 01:11:47 PM
He would have gotten away with it, but there was a private eye watching him.
 
2012-12-12 01:12:46 PM
Am I the first with a Maneater reference?
 
2012-12-12 01:12:54 PM
I farkin' love me some Hall & Oates.
 
2012-12-12 01:13:34 PM
media2.newsnet5.com

Wow. Nice mugshot.

Bloody mouth and a Terminator Eye. WTF?
 
2012-12-12 01:13:56 PM
+1 subby
 
2012-12-12 01:14:00 PM
I'm still LOL'ing.

+1, submittertardinator.
 
2012-12-12 01:14:06 PM
It's a laugh.

/too late for HOTY contender?
 
2012-12-12 01:14:40 PM
But he said "Leave me alone, I'm a family man
And my bark is much worse than my bite"
 
2012-12-12 01:14:52 PM
The victim was heard to be yelling "leave me alone, I'm a family man!"
 
2012-12-12 01:15:08 PM
Oates' kiss is no longer on Hall's list...
 
2012-12-12 01:15:23 PM

WhoIsWillo: I can't go for that.


No can do.
 
2012-12-12 01:15:39 PM
Mrs.Clayton Bigsby II: Push me too far, lady, and I just might...
 
2012-12-12 01:15:47 PM
Subby's insta-green Christmas wish came early.

Well done, sir. Well done.
 
2012-12-12 01:15:59 PM

Fark In The Duck: Am I the first with a Maneater reference?


notsureifserious/.jpg
 
2012-12-12 01:16:04 PM
media2.newsnet5.com


NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM
 
2012-12-12 01:16:23 PM
Because your skin your skin is on my lips. Because your skin your skin I can't resist. Because your skin is on my lips when I take a big bite!
 
2012-12-12 01:16:34 PM
Scott Hall

i.imgur.com

"Hey yo."
 
2012-12-12 01:16:59 PM
There is an omnipotent deity, and it has a sense humor!
 
2012-12-12 01:17:07 PM
That's just farked up.
 
2012-12-12 01:17:09 PM
Bah, damn my bandwidth stealing soul.
 
2012-12-12 01:17:39 PM
That's Robert Oates, 48, charged with assault for allegedly attacking and then biting off a chunk of skin from above the eye of his neighbor, 40-year-old Scott Hall.

Maybe they should settle it, down there

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-12 01:17:45 PM
cdn.bleacherreport.net
 
2012-12-12 01:17:51 PM
Scott Hall?

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-12 01:18:07 PM
^^^^ Nice hot link

no razor ramon photos yet?
 
2012-12-12 01:18:21 PM
Wow...didn't even clean the victims blood off of him for his mugshot...yikes.
 
2012-12-12 01:18:28 PM

Fark In The Duck: Am I the first with a Maneater reference?


You mean besides the headline, right??right???
 
2012-12-12 01:18:50 PM

Mrs.Clayton Bigsby II: But he said "Leave me alone, I'm a family man
And my bark is much worse than my bite"


Now, I'm a H&O fan, and to this day I've never understood that line. It's like he's saying, "hey I'm a p*ssy, I'll yell at you really loud, and maybe get into a nerdy slap fight with you if you go much further."
 
2012-12-12 01:18:56 PM
This thread is so full of ear bugs

/shakes fist and cringes
 
2012-12-12 01:19:14 PM
That guy is really out of touch.
 
2012-12-12 01:19:24 PM
Headline of the year, right there!
 
2012-12-12 01:19:31 PM
you know what, subby? i like you
 
2012-12-12 01:20:19 PM
"No, Scott! Don't you die on me!"

www.venturefans.org

Hot
 
2012-12-12 01:20:49 PM
Great headline subby...
 
2012-12-12 01:20:54 PM

Fark In The Duck: Am I the first with a Maneater reference?


Yes! You ARE the first! Collect your prize!

/From subby's cold dead hands
 
2012-12-12 01:21:53 PM
I shall be voting for this headline 12 months hence.
 
2012-12-12 01:22:12 PM
"Holland is his first name, Oates is his last name."

shop.fxnetworks.com
 
2012-12-12 01:22:15 PM
Make sure you sing that with a lisp, subby, for maximum effect.
 
2012-12-12 01:22:41 PM
After the attack, the other guy said I'm in pieces
 
2012-12-12 01:22:51 PM

Banned on the Run: I shall be voting for this headline 12 months hence.


Very fitting given that login. Nice
 
2012-12-12 01:25:38 PM
One more...that is no method of modern love
 
2012-12-12 01:27:14 PM
That's not what you want Subby.

What you want is an adult education...
 
2012-12-12 01:27:30 PM
I guess you can say he was *removes sunglasses* a maneater
 
2012-12-12 01:29:15 PM
Late entry for HOTY?
 
2012-12-12 01:29:29 PM

LeroyBourne: Mrs.Clayton Bigsby II: But he said "Leave me alone, I'm a family man
And my bark is much worse than my bite"

Now, I'm a H&O fan, and to this day I've never understood that line. It's like he's saying, "hey I'm a p*ssy, I'll yell at you really loud, and maybe get into a nerdy slap fight with you if you go much further."


I sort of took it as implying that he'd protest that he's happily married, loves his wives and kids, etc etc, but if the woman tempting him persisted, he would indeed bang her.
 
2012-12-12 01:29:29 PM
That is what happens when you dance on your head and not on your knees.

/honestly, was never *quite* sure what H&O were implying with 'Dance on Your Knees'...
 
2012-12-12 01:29:54 PM

LeroyBourne: Mrs.Clayton Bigsby II: But he said "Leave me alone, I'm a family man
And my bark is much worse than my bite"

Now, I'm a H&O fan, and to this day I've never understood that line. It's like he's saying, "hey I'm a p*ssy, I'll yell at you really loud, and maybe get into a nerdy slap fight with you if you go much further."


That is what the line actually is supposed to mean. Basically she is coming on to him hard and he is saying "I am not worth it just move on..."

Thus at the end:
He waited much too long
But by the time he got his courage up
She was gone
 
2012-12-12 01:30:45 PM
Aw...it's just an M-E-T-H-O-D O-F L-O-V-E
 
2012-12-12 01:30:57 PM

LeroyBourne: Mrs.Clayton Bigsby II: But he said "Leave me alone, I'm a family man
And my bark is much worse than my bite"

Now, I'm a H&O fan, and to this day I've never understood that line. It's like he's saying, "hey I'm a p*ssy, I'll yell at you really loud, and maybe get into a nerdy slap fight with you if you go much further."


I've always thought it meant "I look like a player, but the truth is I really can't pursue it because I'm in a committed relationship." In other words, "I'm a tease."
 
2012-12-12 01:32:05 PM
This will not help them get in the Hall Of Fame.
 
2012-12-12 01:32:07 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him


That's Paul Young, not H&O
 
2012-12-12 01:32:22 PM
HEADLINE OF THE YEAR
 
2012-12-12 01:33:04 PM
Fun fact: "Family Man" was co-written and first recorded by Mike "Tubular Bells" Oldfield.
 
2012-12-12 01:33:16 PM
Oates quoted as saying, "I'm not concerned about the charges. You know it don't matter anyway. I can rely on the old man's money."
 
2012-12-12 01:33:41 PM

WhoIsWillo: I can't go for fap to that.


FTFY
 
2012-12-12 01:34:06 PM
Good jorb, subby.
 
2012-12-12 01:35:12 PM

gonzoduke: Every once in a while, it's just too easy, ain't it, subby


I wonder how often the people who actually get paid to write headlines have to stop themselves from making obvious jokes/snarks given the subject of the articles. Then, we get stories like the ESPN guy who got fired for using "chink in the armor" on a story about Jeremy Lin, which just makes me assume that they are all Farkers and use this site to suppress their urges.
 
2012-12-12 01:35:30 PM
Some things are better left unsaid...
 
2012-12-12 01:35:31 PM

SirDigbyChickenCaesar: LeroyBourne: Mrs.Clayton Bigsby II: But he said "Leave me alone, I'm a family man
And my bark is much worse than my bite"

Now, I'm a H&O fan, and to this day I've never understood that line. It's like he's saying, "hey I'm a p*ssy, I'll yell at you really loud, and maybe get into a nerdy slap fight with you if you go much further."

That is what the line actually is supposed to mean. Basically she is coming on to him hard and he is saying "I am not worth it just move on..."

Thus at the end:
He waited much too long
But by the time he got his courage up
She was gone


Story of my life...well sort of. Oh, now that I'm single you don't want to go full tilt whore with me? wtf?
 
2012-12-12 01:35:46 PM
Always a good time for a Yacht Rock^ reference.
 
2012-12-12 01:35:51 PM
Adding my congrats to subby. He/she must be feelin pretty good right now.

/i'm so out of touch
 
2012-12-12 01:37:12 PM
48 and 53, yep they're War Babies.

/really just a Todd Rundgren album with Hall and Oates as lead singers.
//Now get off my lawn.
 
2012-12-12 01:38:37 PM
It didn't take him long. He did it in a minute.
 
2012-12-12 01:39:01 PM

KellyKellyKelly: Scott Hall

[i.imgur.com image 250x250]

"Hey yo."


Wouldn't an animated gif take more bandwidth to host? I'm surprised they don't use a low res static image.

/Was going to hotlink the image again, but decided that may be asking for trouble.
 
2012-12-12 01:39:14 PM
i796.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-12 01:41:10 PM
He's out of touch.

/is out of time.
 
2012-12-12 01:41:42 PM
that mugshot looks like zombie oates
 
2012-12-12 01:43:42 PM
I saw H&O in concert with my folks during my senior year in high school. It was a good concert.

Also saw Stevie Ray Vaughn & the Stray Cats on Stevie's last tour before he died. It was at Merriweather
Post Pavillion. Damn good concert.
 
2012-12-12 01:45:04 PM

digitalrain: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him

That's Paul Young, not H&O


Google lied
 
2012-12-12 01:49:19 PM
MaudlinMutantMollusk
Google lied

Say it isn't so.
 
2012-12-12 01:51:05 PM
Silly Ohio.
 
2012-12-12 01:55:57 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: digitalrain: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him

That's Paul Young, not H&O

Google lied


No they didn't! Paul Young covered H&O.

/another Fun Fact from Pfom!!
 
2012-12-12 01:59:02 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: MaudlinMutantMollusk: digitalrain: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him

That's Paul Young, not H&O

Google lied

No they didn't! Paul Young covered H&O.

/another Fun Fact from Pfom!!


We're through the looking glass here, people.
 
2012-12-12 02:03:39 PM

tricycleracer: Pants full of macaroni!!: MaudlinMutantMollusk: digitalrain: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him

That's Paul Young, not H&O

Google lied

No they didn't! Paul Young covered H&O.

/another Fun Fact from Pfom!!

We're through the looking glass here, people.


Well I'm just confused now

/more than usual, even
 
2012-12-12 02:11:08 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: tricycleracer: Pants full of macaroni!!: MaudlinMutantMollusk: digitalrain: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him

That's Paul Young, not H&O

Google lied

No they didn't! Paul Young covered H&O.

/another Fun Fact from Pfom!!

We're through the looking glass here, people.

Well I'm just confused now

/more than usual, even


Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit. You learn something new everyday!
 
2012-12-12 02:13:38 PM
Police said the incident happened Monday at 10 a.m. when Hall was in the garage area of his home...
and that both men were highly intoxicated and yelling.


Dayum! Sh*t-hammered at 10 on a Monday morning? Oh, Ohio. Nevermind.
 
2012-12-12 02:13:38 PM
I saw Huron County and thought "Oh boy, I wonder if I know these guys".

Then I read that it is from Huron County, Ohio and not Huron County, Michigan.

Whew.
 
2012-12-12 02:15:13 PM
Just once I want to write a headline like that.
 
2012-12-12 02:20:02 PM
Happened near my home town. Local paper with better headline: Maneater: Hall bitten by Oates
 
2012-12-12 02:20:51 PM
Just think of the odds of that.
Of all the names in all the phones books....

just staggering
 
2012-12-12 02:23:00 PM

reillan: list


was going to post, thanks, ctrl-f!
 
2012-12-12 02:25:20 PM
I saw them in concert last week so I am getting a kick out of most of these replies...
 
2012-12-12 02:26:00 PM
He's a biter... and he's gone too far, but you know it doesn't matter anyway
 
2012-12-12 02:30:44 PM
They must be good, they were in a GTA soundtrack!
 
2012-12-12 02:42:57 PM

ERNesbitt: Happened near my home town. Local paper with better headline: Maneater: Hall bitten by Oates


Good headline. Subby wins though.
 
2012-12-12 02:43:19 PM
Reporter: "We're here with the victim. Now how did you feel after the bite, how did the attacker's personality appear to be when he bit you, and when did the attack occur?" Victim: "Cold, Dark, and Yesterday"
 
2012-12-12 02:47:37 PM
Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you.
 
2012-12-12 02:56:50 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: MaudlinMutantMollusk: digitalrain: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Every time he goes away, he takes a piece of the neighbor with him

That's Paul Young, not H&O

Google lied

No they didn't! Paul Young covered H&O.

/another Fun Fact from Pfom!!


Is there some place I can search for more of these Fun Facts from Pfom!!? Anyone?
 
2012-12-12 03:03:19 PM

Do the needful: Is there some place I can search for more of these Fun Facts from Pfom!!? Anyone?


Not really. I am, however, a fountain of utterly useless information.
 
2012-12-12 03:51:50 PM
This guy must not have an adult education.
 
2012-12-12 04:14:01 PM
As long as Garfunkel is OK.
thingsthataretotallyawesome.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-12 04:24:51 PM
He's a zombie. He needs to be put down.
 
2012-12-12 04:25:34 PM

Vorpal: I saw them in concert last week so I am getting a kick out of most of these replies...


I just saw them last weekend too...great show. Hall could still get it...
 
2012-12-12 04:31:20 PM

meat0918: Then I read that it is from Huron County, Ohio and not Huron County, Michigan.


Hey, I'm from Huron County, MI.

How are ya, fellow Thumb person?
 
2012-12-12 04:33:29 PM
I rode up a chairlift with one of them, can't remember which one.
 
2012-12-12 04:41:34 PM

doczoidberg: meat0918: Then I read that it is from Huron County, Ohio and not Huron County, Michigan.

Hey, I'm from Huron County, MI.

How are ya, fellow Thumb person?


Glad that the biters are confined to Ohio at the moment.
 
2012-12-12 04:47:48 PM
He's a family man, but this time his bite was worse than his bark.
 
2012-12-12 04:53:52 PM

litespeed74: I rode up a chairlift with one of them, can't remember which one.


Yes, they're so easily confused.

/Hint: Did he have a porn mustache?
 
2012-12-12 05:00:36 PM
blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com
These guys actually turned me into a Hall and Oates fan.
 
2012-12-12 05:09:20 PM
That's Juan Moore great headline.
 
2012-12-12 05:12:22 PM

MagSeven: These guys actually turned me into a Hall and Oates fan.


That's the best album I ever discovered via an airplane's in-flight entertainment system.
 
2012-12-12 05:44:15 PM
Just scrolling through all the punning replies I realized I'd forgotten how many decent songs they had.
 
2012-12-12 06:05:23 PM
Subby, was that headline easier than your Mom?
 
2012-12-12 06:13:34 PM
Everybody go to Live from Daryl's House, for cryin' out loud.

Seriously some great stuff there. Daryl's voice hasn't changed in thirty years; still as clear as a bell ringing.
 
2012-12-12 06:13:37 PM
Was the fight One On One?
 
2012-12-12 06:16:19 PM

Treygreen13: I farkin' love me some Hall & Oates.


me too. can't help it. that boy has a farking INCREDIBLE set of pipes. i want to learn more about the band, i figure there's a reason those lads are tight. 'Sarah Smile' touches me deeply every farking time i hear it.
 
2012-12-12 06:31:58 PM

mootmah: Just saw this story and came to submit this exact joke. Damn you subby.


I'm surprised it took this long for a greenie on this story. Saw the first redlit thread on Monday.
 
2012-12-12 06:32:14 PM
Still not ironic. Coincidence. Odd. Not ironic.

I'm going to patent a keyboard that, every time you type ironic or pick it from a pull down menu will contact a special agent with an English degree. If you use it correctly, your fine. If you use it incorrectly, you get a mild shock. Each time you misuse it the shock gets worse, until, at the highest level, someone arrives at your door with free tickets to see Alanis Morissette. After the show, Alanis and you will be whisked off to a reeducation camp to learn what real irony is. This will not be ironic, but it will be just.
 
2012-12-12 06:43:17 PM
Mind you, Oates bites can be pretty nasty
 
2012-12-12 07:28:38 PM

tricycleracer: HEADLINE OF THE YEAR


woot!
 
2012-12-12 07:31:18 PM

HoratioGates: Still not ironic. Coincidence. Odd. Not ironic.

I'm going to patent a keyboard that, every time you type ironic or pick it from a pull down menu will contact a special agent with an English degree. If you use it correctly, your fine. .


Bahaha
 
2012-12-12 08:44:10 PM
good headline
 
2012-12-12 09:08:02 PM
t2.gstatic.com
You're not going to eat my face?

images.starpulse.com
Uhhhh, no.
 
2012-12-12 10:59:10 PM
When questioned, Mr. Hall merely responded, "Hey yo."
 
2012-12-12 11:51:12 PM
I love this thread and I love Hall and Oates.
 
2012-12-13 01:42:56 AM

Nightsweat: As long as Garfunkel is OK.
[thingsthataretotallyawesome.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]


Came for the Garfunkel and Oates, leaving with an unnatural desire for ducks.
 
2012-12-13 01:47:43 AM
Mostly unrelated, but when I was little, I thought the name of the band was "Haulin' Oats".
 
2012-12-13 02:53:15 AM

medius: you know what, subby? i like you


He's not like the other people here at the trailer park.
 
2012-12-13 08:31:33 AM
We need an "Ironic" tag and an "'Ironic'" tag.

That said, great headline.
 
2012-12-13 09:39:48 AM

HoratioGates: Still not ironic. Coincidence. Odd. Not ironic.

I'm going to patent a keyboard that, every time you type ironic or pick it from a pull down menu will contact a special agent with an English degree. If you use it correctly, your fine. If you use it incorrectly, you get a mild shock. .


Will it do the same thing for your and you're?
 
2012-12-13 10:34:42 PM
I'm seeing Hall & Oates in Knoxville on Friday, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
 
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