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(Daily Mail)   One in four British parents think heating up baked beans is cooking, purple is a fruit   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
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4085 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2012 at 12:09 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-12 08:57:07 AM  
The descent of Britons' culinary skills contrasts sharply with the rise in popularity of cookery programmes and celebrity chefs.

They're just watching Nigella Lawson's tits.
 
2012-12-12 09:02:18 AM  
Oh pish! 3 things must ye know before you rush in to post your hilariously witty comments based on stereotypes.

1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here... how you can screw up tinned beans I have no idea. Beans on toast is lovely, but I would never consider it 'cooking', it's a very lazy snack.

2. 1 in 4 people in every country are borderline retarded, and I mean that in the clinical sense, not the derogatory insult sense of the word. A quarter of Americans think Obama is a Muslim from Kenya trying to steal your guns by lulling you into a false sense of security via making it easier to get guns.

3. This comes from the Daily Mail. Always bear that in mind.
 
2012-12-12 09:32:40 AM  
Probably similar numbers for the U.S. as well.

Slaxl: 1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here... how you can screw up tinned beans I have no idea. Beans on toast is lovely, but I would never consider it 'cooking', it's a very lazy snack.


Everything? Really? Not a single shared recipe is better in the U.S. than in Britain?
 
2012-12-12 10:27:00 AM  

Cythraul: Probably similar numbers for the U.S. as well.

Slaxl: 1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here... how you can screw up tinned beans I have no idea. Beans on toast is lovely, but I would never consider it 'cooking', it's a very lazy snack.

Everything? Really? Not a single shared recipe is better in the U.S. than in Britain?


You do do great barbecues. In some parts. Anyway, don't get upset, you Americans see a picture of a man without teeth and think that therefore the entire UK has 3 teeth between us all, if you're feeling generous, i'm allowed to make blanket sweeping statements in return.

That's right, broad generalisations are the order of the day round these parts.
 
2012-12-12 10:29:58 AM  

Slaxl: Cythraul: Probably similar numbers for the U.S. as well.

Slaxl: 1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here... how you can screw up tinned beans I have no idea. Beans on toast is lovely, but I would never consider it 'cooking', it's a very lazy snack.

Everything? Really? Not a single shared recipe is better in the U.S. than in Britain?

You do do great barbecues. In some parts. Anyway, don't get upset, you Americans see a picture of a man without teeth and think that therefore the entire UK has 3 teeth between us all, if you're feeling generous, i'm allowed to make blanket sweeping statements in return.

That's right, broad generalisations are the order of the day round these parts.


Meh. Whatever works for you.
 
2012-12-12 10:33:07 AM  

Cythraul: Slaxl: Cythraul: Probably similar numbers for the U.S. as well.

Slaxl: 1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here... how you can screw up tinned beans I have no idea. Beans on toast is lovely, but I would never consider it 'cooking', it's a very lazy snack.

Everything? Really? Not a single shared recipe is better in the U.S. than in Britain?

You do do great barbecues. In some parts. Anyway, don't get upset, you Americans see a picture of a man without teeth and think that therefore the entire UK has 3 teeth between us all, if you're feeling generous, i'm allowed to make blanket sweeping statements in return.

That's right, broad generalisations are the order of the day round these parts.

Meh. Whatever works for you.


When I started the joke was on me for being overly defensive over such unimportant crap... now I just don't know anymore.
 
2012-12-12 11:53:36 AM  

Slaxl: you Americans see a picture of a man without teeth and think that therefore the entire UK has 3 teeth between us all


imageshack.us
 
2012-12-12 12:11:27 PM  
Heating up beans is slightly more complex than microwaving a Hot Pocket, so there's that.
 
2012-12-12 12:13:52 PM  

Slaxl: Oh pish! 3 things must ye know before you rush in to post your hilariously witty comments based on stereotypes.

1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here... how you can screw up tinned beans I have no idea. Beans on toast is lovely, but I would never consider it 'cooking', it's a very lazy snack.

2. 1 in 4 people in every country are borderline retarded, and I mean that in the clinical sense, not the derogatory insult sense of the word. A quarter of Americans think Obama is a Muslim from Kenya trying to steal your guns by lulling you into a false sense of security via making it easier to get guns.

3. This comes from the Daily Mail. Always bear that in mind.


You sound British.
 
2012-12-12 12:13:54 PM  
Mmmmm .. British baked beans

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-12 12:14:10 PM  
I can never successfully read posts with a British accent in my head :(
 
2012-12-12 12:14:11 PM  
fruit?
 
2012-12-12 12:15:38 PM  
I'm not going to look. The food is VILE. The have pork pies. You know that "canned ham" jelly that skeeves us out? They use it as the top layer of wholesome snot goodness under the crust. And they will eat them cold. Congealed fatjello spread to make sure if you didn't gag on the first encounter with y
 
2012-12-12 12:16:15 PM  
Our mouth it's sure to make you gag when your mouth is full.

Sorry. Oops.
 
2012-12-12 12:16:47 PM  
Why do they make it look like spending less than 40 minutes on cooking is a bad thing? I eat fresh vegetables and very, very few conserved goods and I spend roughly 30 minutes a day on food preparation. If I'm not having guests over I'm not cooking like some star cheff. Simple and decent is good enough.
 
2012-12-12 12:17:09 PM  
The baked beans I had in London tasted the same as here in the US. The beans and roasted tomatoes were unwelcome on my breakfast plate.

/Overall, the food in London was ok. Not as bad as I had heard.
 
2012-12-12 12:17:25 PM  

Slaxl: Oh pish! 3 things must ye know before you rush in to post your hilariously witty comments based on stereotypes.

1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here.


A few summers ago I spent nearly three weeks eating what you call food. You have no credibility in this arena.
 
2012-12-12 12:18:31 PM  

rocinante721: Mmmmm .. British baked beans

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x267]


Thank you. I was hoping someone would post that.
 
2012-12-12 12:21:08 PM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

redriverpak.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-12 12:27:34 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Slaxl: Oh pish! 3 things must ye know before you rush in to post your hilariously witty comments based on stereotypes.

1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here.

A few summers ago I spent nearly three weeks eating what you call food. You have no credibility in this arena.


I was only joking with my Boobies, it clearly wasn't taken that way, so I'm going to leave. What's a bit of good natured banter between allies? :(
 
2012-12-12 12:29:31 PM  

DerAppie: Why do they make it look like spending less than 40 minutes on cooking is a bad thing? I eat fresh vegetables and very, very few conserved goods and I spend roughly 30 minutes a day on food preparation. If I'm not having guests over I'm not cooking like some star cheff. Simple and decent is good enough.


I was thinking that myself. I consider myself a pretty good cook but I have this thing called a job so I can't spend hours cooking every day. There's lots of nutritious meals you can make in 20-30 minutes. Usually if it takes much longer than that to make, it's cooking time (like slow roasting meats or baking) not active prep time for me. Then, I usually cook enough for a few days and microwave leftovers. I guess I somehow fail at life.

\Admittedly have no idea how to make a Bakewell tart
\\it doesn't look very tasty
 
2012-12-12 12:30:45 PM  

Slaxl: I was only joking with my Boobies, it clearly wasn't taken that way, so I'm going to leave. What's a bit of good natured banter between allies? :(


I recognized the humoUr, butt you're in Fark so get over the hurt.
 
2012-12-12 12:33:29 PM  
Just the other day I went off half-cocked, made a gaff and had to type "Oh, I get it. Turns out I'm an idiot". It was true, I took my lumps, and a good chuckle was had by all. Don't take it so hard. You fired a volley and the wind blew it back in your lap. It's all part of the fun. A thick skin is imperative around here.
 
2012-12-12 12:34:26 PM  
My post above was for you, my friend Slaxl.
 
2012-12-12 12:34:46 PM  

Slaxl: 1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here...


Before you make such an egregious statement, you are going to have to differentiate between real baked beans, of the Boston variety, and those other nasty things they eat in the rest of the country.

Boston Baked Beans are best beans.

/oh yeah I di'id
//on, it is
 
2012-12-12 12:35:31 PM  
Grape drink is made from purple.
 
2012-12-12 12:35:35 PM  

Slaxl:

1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here...


Yeah, when your country is known for it's buttermilk fried chicken, hush puppies, barbecue that freaking melts in your mouth, and key lime pie then we will talk.

/Anything good the British can claim came from Scotland or Ireland anyway...
 
2012-12-12 12:37:04 PM  
Isn't applying heat to food in order to make it edible the most basic definition of "cooking"?
 
2012-12-12 12:37:29 PM  

gambitsgirl: You know that "canned ham" jelly that skeeves us out?


How do you feel about chicken jelly?
img525.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-12 12:42:21 PM  
Nutritious breakfast.
media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-12 12:44:56 PM  

LaraAmber: Slaxl:

1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here...

Yeah, when your country is known for it's buttermilk fried chicken, hush puppies, barbecue that freaking melts in your mouth, and key lime pie then we will talk.

/Anything good the British can claim came from Scotland or Ireland anyway...


It makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way, to defend British food, but they do have some tasty things. Their meat pies, Cornish pasties, and cheese can all be fantastic. Beyond that, I'm sure there's something...
 
2012-12-12 12:49:20 PM  

Ivo Shandor: gambitsgirl: You know that "canned ham" jelly that skeeves us out?

How do you feel about chicken jelly?


Yeah. That's the shiat right there. Everyone grab a spoon.
 
2012-12-12 12:54:06 PM  
One of my teachers had an English wife who went to a private school, which is to say, a public school in British parleance. Beans were a staple.

Corn flakes. It's not just for breakfast. Apparently it can also be dinner. You're nutritionally better off eating the beans on toast, but fortunately the children got a lot of that also.

At the upper end of the social scale, the UK has made great progress in cookery over the last thirty years or so. The wartime privations were gradually lifted and Thatcherism shifted vast amounts of money from the masses to the classes (notably the "liberal" upper middle classes, which is to say investment bankers, lawyers, CEOs, stockbrokers, etc.).

She was able to successfully conceal the economic bankruptcy of Reaganomics with North Sea Oil monies, although nothing could conceal the moral bankruptcy of the kleptocracy (aka Private Public Partnerships, as they call it now under the post-Thatcherites of Eton College).

Meanwhile, them as has gits (usually out of somebody else's pocket) and them as ain't don't.

This applies to intellectual capital, of which cooking is a valuable example, as well as the folding kind.

While the French teach their schoolchildren the glories of French haute cuisine, the British continue to see what they can feed them before they die.
 
2012-12-12 12:59:53 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: Nutritious breakfast.
[media.tumblr.com image 500x331]


I stayed with a family in Holland who fed me that. I thought they were just wierd. I didn't know it was a thing.
 
2012-12-12 01:04:50 PM  
FFS! Reheating shiat is not cooking.

My sisters think that putting some ready made nuggets into the oven is cooking...

gambitsgirl: I'm not going to look. The food is VILE. The have pork pies. You know that "canned ham" jelly that skeeves us out? They use it as the top layer of wholesome snot goodness under the crust. And they will eat them cold. Congealed fatjello spread to make sure if you didn't gag on the first encounter with y


You leave my pork pie alone! Also leave my scotch eggs alone as well!

Try the apple and pickle pork pie, it's really nice...

On the whole though, I do agree with you, British food is vile..
 
2012-12-12 01:05:06 PM  
Sorry Brits, but you're going to have to get that percentage up if you are going to beat American parents in the kitchen laziness contest. Hell, I know women with children, who can't boil water. It's either eat at a chain restaurant or let the kids pop a frozen something-or-the-other into the microwave and call it dinner.
 
2012-12-12 01:14:17 PM  
We're the nation that has

JackieRabbit: Sorry Brits, but you're going to have to get that percentage up if you are going to beat American parents in the kitchen laziness contest. Hell, I know women with children, who can't boil water. It's either eat at a chain restaurant or let the kids pop a frozen something-or-the-other into the microwave and call it dinner.


Yeah, sadly we're the nation that invented peanut butter and jelly in one jar. I don't think we can argue the lazy thing.
 
2012-12-12 01:17:40 PM  
The great thing about British food is that you can tell whether it's good or not by the name. If the name contains the word "curry", it's good.
 
2012-12-12 01:28:18 PM  

Slaxl: 2. 1 in 4 people in every country are borderline retarded


You are not supposed to use the word retarded

www.specialneeds.com
 
2012-12-12 01:29:13 PM  
During the XIXth century, the super-rich landlords who owned 85% of the land in the UK sometimes turned philanthropists. Their principle ideas consisted of 1) figuring out even cheaper ways to feed the very poor and 2) shipping different groups of undesirables out to the colonies.

As an amateur genealogist I can tell you horror terrors that would make your toes curl. Google "home children", for example, and you will find that there was a large out-going trade in orphans and wards of the state, namely children shipped off as a cheap form of labour for the colonies. Some of these had parents who could not support them or didn't care, but some had parents who objected to the "philanthropy". Presumably a child picked up on misdemeanour charges might end up being shipped to Canada or Australia or wherever if not tracked down by a careful parent or guardian.

Some of my ancestors being Scottish, I am aware of the several attempts at colonization by Lord Selkirk in Canada (PEI, Ontario, Manitoba and because it was believed that the Scottish poor loved a bracing climate, the shores of Hudson's Bay).

Lord Selkirk was one of the philanthropists (and one of the richest land-owners in Scotland) who looked into the diet of the poor as well. The goal was to enable the poor to live on love, Godliness and fresh air or at the limit, water.

Lord S noted for example that the regulation diet of eight ounces of oatmeal and six ounces of barley a day was spendthrift and could cheapened still more by shifting from the more expensive of the two staples to the less expensive.

I am surprised that Kwashiorkor was not more common in the British Isles than it was.

Of course, these two staples were not the entire indigent's diet. They sometimes managed to grow a few root vegetables or supplemented their broth with whatever they could steal despite the deadly man traps laid down by the game keepers of their betters. A poached rabbit, salmon, hare, or what not would add a tiny amount of meat to the broth from time to time.

Butter or milk might sometimes be found to cook oat cakes or porridge.

But the UK has always been a country famed for its love of animals and its hatred of children and the poor, and I am afraid that scanty rations and the simplest of cookery were the fate for many of the poor.

They drank beer because water was poison. For a teetotaler, tea was the only alternative to beer because the water could be boiled within an inch of its life, thus saving the life of the drinker perhaps.

Fuel had to be saved to boil water and cook. It could not be wasted on the frivolity of heat. So the necessities of life were beer, tea and boiled water. In that order.

Even today, about one in ten households in the UK does not have a toilet let alone a bath or shower stall. This is why the British press loves to run stories about how little the French bathe.

And a kitchen was, is, and always will be a luxury for many, even designer-clothes wearing, people in London and New York. Who needs a kitchen when the bake-houses sell better food for less? True, food is dear, but it always has been unless you are rich. You may not believe this, but London had a roaring trade in second hand food. The dishes displayed at private dinners by the middle classes were eaten, if by anybody, by the poor. Lots of luck on surviving a week old roast in pre-refrigeration days.

The left overs of the rich were sold by their servants (what they couldn't eat, that was) and many a rich man was left wondering where that roast chicken that was on the table a moment ago went. Guests and hosts alike were often slightly peeved to have dishes and plates snatched away before they could touch them. A swift delivery is one thing. A swift removal is another. Guess which was more profitable to the servant classes?

There's a reason why upper class Brits love weak, watery, cold tea. It's because their servants drank the strong, rich, hot tea. They were trained by their servants to eat almost as badly as the poor.

But I don't want to bore you with the domestic miseries of the other half*.

One last thing, a favourite quotation from P.G. Wodehouse, a great British humourist:

"She was a good cook as good cooks go, and as good cooks go, she went."

*You might get the false impression that I know far too much about the lifestyles of British people in the 1830s, say. That I have inside information on tricks that servants used in the 1700s. That for a guy who can't remember things for half an hour, I have a strange lot of very detailed knowledge of many historical conditions that are difficult to acquire even by wide and catholic reading.

Well, I do. But it would be tedious to explain HOW I came by all this information. Besides, there can be only one Brantgoose. If there were two of us, we'd bore each other to death.

I recommend three sources of information: cartoons and humour (contemporary); genealogy; and domestic literature (including letters, diaries, journals, novels, and satire. After a very enjoyable romp through this type of secondary literature, you can know things about life that biographies, histories and sociology will never tell you. Cartoons alone are worth a university education in your pick of any three humanities or arts.
 
2012-12-12 01:29:53 PM  
If orange can be a fruit why can't purple be a fruit?
 
2012-12-12 01:35:24 PM  
Heating up a can of beans is still more work than I am willing to do just for dinner.
 
2012-12-12 01:37:46 PM  

rustypouch: LaraAmber: Slaxl:

1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here...

Yeah, when your country is known for it's buttermilk fried chicken, hush puppies, barbecue that freaking melts in your mouth, and key lime pie then we will talk.

/Anything good the British can claim came from Scotland or Ireland anyway...

It makes me feel dirty, and not in a good way, to defend British food, but they do have some tasty things. Their meat pies, Cornish pasties, and cheese can all be fantastic. Beyond that, I'm sure there's something...


Curry.


/yeah, I know
 
2012-12-12 01:42:37 PM  

Slaxl: Cythraul: Probably similar numbers for the U.S. as well.

Slaxl: 1. Baked beans in the UK are different from those in the USA, like everything they taste better over here... how you can screw up tinned beans I have no idea. Beans on toast is lovely, but I would never consider it 'cooking', it's a very lazy snack.

Everything? Really? Not a single shared recipe is better in the U.S. than in Britain?

You do do great barbecues. In some parts. Anyway, don't get upset, you Americans see a picture of a man without teeth and think that therefore the entire UK has 3 teeth between us all, if you're feeling generous, i'm allowed to make blanket sweeping statements in return.

That's right, broad generalisations are the order of the day round these parts.


I've had your baked beans and they are trash, just like your sausages. Learn how to use a smoker for god's sake.

You got the fish and chips right for the most part.
 
2012-12-12 01:45:52 PM  

brantgoose: During the XIXth century, the super-rich landlords who owned 85% of the land in the UK sometimes turned philanthropists. Their principle ideas consisted of 1) figuring out even cheaper ways to feed the very poor and 2) shipping different groups of undesirables out to the colonies.

As an amateur genealogist I can tell you horror terrors that would make your toes curl. Google "home children", for example, and you will find that there was a large out-going trade in orphans and wards of the state, namely children shipped off as a cheap form of labour for the colonies. Some of these had parents who could not support them or didn't care, but some had parents who objected to the "philanthropy". Presumably a child picked up on misdemeanour charges might end up being shipped to Canada or Australia or wherever if not tracked down by a careful parent or guardian.

Some of my ancestors being Scottish, I am aware of the several attempts at colonization by Lord Selkirk in Canada (PEI, Ontario, Manitoba and because it was believed that the Scottish poor loved a bracing climate, the shores of Hudson's Bay).

Lord Selkirk was one of the philanthropists (and one of the richest land-owners in Scotland) who looked into the diet of the poor as well. The goal was to enable the poor to live on love, Godliness and fresh air or at the limit, water.

Lord S noted for example that the regulation diet of eight ounces of oatmeal and six ounces of barley a day was spendthrift and could cheapened still more by shifting from the more expensive of the two staples to the less expensive.

I am surprised that Kwashiorkor was not more common in the British Isles than it was.

Of course, these two staples were not the entire indigent's diet. They sometimes managed to grow a few root vegetables or supplemented their broth with whatever they could steal despite the deadly man traps laid down by the game keepers of their betters. A poached rabbit, salmon, hare, or what not would add a tiny amount of meat ...

 


It took me a while to decipher but I hear you, brother. (wink wink)
 
2012-12-12 01:49:59 PM  

brantgoose: During the WALL OF WORDS!!!! ...


no one cares
 
2012-12-12 01:54:55 PM  
I'm reminded of a skit by the whitest kids you know.

-shuddering-
 
2012-12-12 01:56:46 PM  

brantgoose: During the XIXth century...


Is this going to be on the final?
 
2012-12-12 02:03:14 PM  

hasty ambush: If orange can be a fruit why can't purple be a fruit?


Purple is a drank, not a fruit.

Dummy.
 
2012-12-12 02:17:05 PM  
As if a lot of U.S. parents are any better. 
 
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