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(KHOU Houston)   Doctor suggests you should take action now if you're an 'Almost Alcoholic'. Drew suggests coughing up $5 a month to remove all doubt   ( khou.com) divider line
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11451 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Dec 2012 at 4:51 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-11 05:14:21 PM  
FTFQ:

3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week


So if I have six or more drinks once a week, do I answer "Monthly" or "Two to three times a week?" It's neither, you farking jackbags!
 
2012-12-11 05:14:45 PM  

cryinoutloud: Nobody stops drinking when they're "almost' an alcoholic. That's the whole point of being an alcoholic, that you don't stop drinking when your head, your friends, family members and f*cked up consequences tells you that you should.

Duh, some doctor.


fixed

This book is written for the Oprah/Dr. Phil junkies to give them fuel to interfere with friends and family members because they need a hobby.

,
 
2012-12-11 05:15:02 PM  
3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week


this question is kind of bogus. Where's the "Once a week" option? It's either....you don't drink enough...or way too farking much. No middle ground option there.

I only scored an 8 overall.
 
2012-12-11 05:15:29 PM  
I got a 1. And I'm not even Mormon!
 
2012-12-11 05:15:44 PM  

Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.


Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.
 
2012-12-11 05:16:57 PM  

sigdiamond2000: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.

FTFA:

Dr. Robert Doyle, a psychiatrist, researcher, and author

There's a lot of money to be made in convincing people they're broken and that you can fix them.


OR writing books about ex girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses. I got an 8. About what I figured. I don't partly like college but I ain't dead either. Legal issues get pricer the older you get.

Loaded questions are loaded. FTA: 2. How many drinks containing alcohol do you have on a typical day when you are drinking? Um....each one? If I'm in a safe place among friends, in a cozy environment where drinking is expected and we don't get all stabby then 1=1.
 
2012-12-11 05:17:16 PM  
I recognized (and was also clued into) some warning signs in my own drinking habits and now keep a loose vigil on ensuring it doesn't turn into a problem or otherwise negatively impact my day to day life. Watching a close family member fall right down the rabbit hole over and over again is a harsh reminder though that not everyone is so fortunate.

robbiex0r: 14

*shrug*


*high five* me too!
 
2012-12-11 05:17:17 PM  

JustLookin: FTFQ:

3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week

So if I have six or more drinks once a week, do I answer "Monthly" or "Two to three times a week?" It's neither, you farking jackbags!


That is exactly what I thought. The ranges are designed to put you into the "grey area" he is creating so you buy his book.
 
2012-12-11 05:17:55 PM  

cefm: I think that this approach is a step in the right direction - but of course it will be lambasted by two groups: the folks with somewhat unhealthy drinking patterns who reject any suggestion they should alter behavior and the AA recovering alcoholics who insist that anyone who drinks is a dangerous addict.


You're forgetting the third group that lambasts it because the "2 beers on Friday night" bit is puritanical horseshiat.
 
2012-12-11 05:18:18 PM  

recoil47: cefm: A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.

You, good sir, sound like someone trying to justify squeaking into a lower bracket.


bah,

for #7, how often have you felt guilt or remorse for drinking? (this isn't a temporal question, this is a causal issue)

for #10, refine the question to: has any one whose opinion you respect expressed concern over your drinking? (there are always people who think you're living your life the wrong way, it's impossible to avoid)
 
2012-12-11 05:18:21 PM  
11, I thought it'd be much higher.

Although I don't know how to answer the "are you able to stop drinking once you've started" question. I typically stop drinking when I feel like stopping, and that's usually not after one drink (although sometimes it is, if I'm in a one-drink social situation). But often at home I'll start drinking with a vague intention of having 1 or 2 drinks but end up having 3, 4 or 5 - does that mean I'm unable to stop? Or does it mean I decided I'd like another drink or two? It's not like I went into it saying to myself "dammit, you're stopping at 2 tonight come hell or high water" and then woke up 14 hours later with 2 empty bottles of Beam on the nightstand.

If anything that quiz makes me think I'm practically a teetotaller and can go ahead and up my intake another couple notches.
 
2012-12-11 05:18:35 PM  
I don't drink, myself.

I'm just fine being the perpetual designated driver.
 
2012-12-11 05:19:07 PM  
Also, what if I don't like beer and prefer whiskey, bourbon, and gin? Vodka doesn't count as alcohol right?
 
2012-12-11 05:19:42 PM  
alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed
 
2012-12-11 05:20:10 PM  
This is lame. My annual bar/liquor store tab exceeds a US median salary and I only managed to score a 10.
 
2012-12-11 05:20:27 PM  

cryinoutloud: Nobody stops drinking when they're "almost' an alcoholic. That's the whole point of being an alcoholic, that you don't stop drinking when your head tells you that you should.

Duh, some doctor.


I think that was his whole point. Try to get off the train before you hit full blown alcoholism.

/Scored a 19. I Already know I'm what's considered a functional alcoholic. I drink too much and too often but I stay sober during working hours and the problems it causes are limited to minor embarrassments. I'm over 40 and have never progressed to full blown alcoholism despite a few periods where it would've been a natural progression. I figure I'm safe enough.
 
2012-12-11 05:20:35 PM  

WTFDYW: 28. What do I win?


Liver failure?

/Because you're on that dangerous cusp between "harming your liver" and "pickling your liver"
 
2012-12-11 05:21:18 PM  
24. 2nd place in the thread. I never win anything. That explains my lack of self esteem, hence why I drink. Dammit.
 
2012-12-11 05:21:20 PM  
10! 10! ? bullshiat!

i'm at least at 29, the high end of the not a problem score.

I like beer & i'm not a guilty drinker, man i really like beer.
 
2012-12-11 05:21:37 PM  

Pemulis: 11, I thought it'd be much higher.

Although I don't know how to answer the "are you able to stop drinking once you've started" question. I typically stop drinking when I feel like stopping, and that's usually not after one drink (although sometimes it is, if I'm in a one-drink social situation). But often at home I'll start drinking with a vague intention of having 1 or 2 drinks but end up having 3, 4 or 5 - does that mean I'm unable to stop? Or does it mean I decided I'd like another drink or two? It's not like I went into it saying to myself "dammit, you're stopping at 2 tonight come hell or high water" and then woke up 14 hours later with 2 empty bottles of Beam on the nightstand.

If anything that quiz makes me think I'm practically a teetotaller and can go ahead and up my intake another couple notches.


Alcoholics can't/won't stop drinking. That typically means you'd drive your drunk ass to the liquor store just before it closes because you only have 4 beers left. Or it means that family/friends are trying to get you to stop drinking because you're making an ass of yourself so you either argue with them and keep drinking or start to hide your drinking so you can keep your buzz going.
 
2012-12-11 05:22:31 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I don't drink, myself.

I'm just fine being the perpetual designated driver.


Do you live in the Midwest?
Are you an organ donor?
Do you have a bathtub?
Is there a gas station nearby that sells big bags of ice?
 
2012-12-11 05:22:34 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed


Neglected children beg to differ.
 
2012-12-11 05:23:05 PM  
Add me to the "Scored a 16, and there's no way I'm an 'almost alcoholic'" list.
 
2012-12-11 05:24:21 PM  

cefm: The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"


Also:

lolindian.com
 
2012-12-11 05:25:19 PM  

/Scored a 19. I Already know I'm what's considered a functional alcoholic. I drink too much and too often but I stay sober during working hours and the problems it causes are limited to minor embarrassments. I'm over 40 and have never progressed to full blown alcoholism despite a few periods where it would've been a natural progression. I figure I'm safe enough.


Mom? Dad? Uncle Pete?
 
2012-12-11 05:25:35 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.


6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends
 
2012-12-11 05:25:36 PM  

InspectorZero: I realize that some people are unable to control their drinking and destructive behavior it causes, but I really do think there are a lot more people who over-indulge to which the AA model does not apply.


The AA model does not apply to anyone, as it is built entirely on made-up bullshiat. Alcohol addiction is real enough, it just has nothing to do with diseases, powerlessness, higher powers or any of that crap.
 
2012-12-11 05:26:32 PM  

Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.


why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy
 
2012-12-11 05:28:59 PM  

Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends


Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.
 
2012-12-11 05:29:52 PM  
1. I was a lot worse until I hit 21.
 
2012-12-11 05:30:09 PM  

Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends


I used to eat/drink whatever the hell i wanted right up til about a year ago then the calories finally caught up with me, 6' 3" pushing 230, just (what feels like) a few months ago i was at 190. It all happened so fast, i blame my love of beer, a 3 day weekend & the means necessary to finance that kind of idiocy.
 
2012-12-11 05:31:09 PM  
www.drunkard.com
 
2012-12-11 05:31:17 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy


Because beer is delicious, and wants me to be happy.
 
2012-12-11 05:31:39 PM  
I like Doug Stanhope's take on AA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4txNz25Ht9o
 
2012-12-11 05:31:48 PM  
Yeah, you're right Moe... you're always Moe.
 
2012-12-11 05:32:22 PM  

you have pee hands: Jon iz teh kewl: why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Because beer is delicious, and wants me to be happy.


yeah your right. beer is delicious and i can never give up beer

but oxycontin i could give that up

/never
 
2012-12-11 05:33:05 PM  
11. Meh.
 
2012-12-11 05:33:08 PM  

bearded clamorer: Do you live in the Midwest?
Are you an organ donor?
Do you have a bathtub?
Is there a gas station nearby that sells big bags of ice?


1.) No.

2.) No.

3.) Yes.

4.) HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, WAIT A DOGGONE MINUTE
 
2012-12-11 05:33:30 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy


Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.
 
2012-12-11 05:34:05 PM  
What next, "Almost Crackhead?"
 
2012-12-11 05:34:14 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.


huh. that does suck. i live in portland, OR so 6 pints here is more like 1200+ calories... ;)
 
2012-12-11 05:34:36 PM  
I scored a 5. Yay! I can drink more!

FWIW, you farkers who are saying that 4 beers is nothing are either drinking the wrong kind of beer or are already alcoholics. Or maybe you're just young. I'm in my 40s. There was probably a time when 4 beers wasn't much to me, but it would never have been "nothing".
 
2012-12-11 05:34:50 PM  
I got an 8. I'm happy with that.

5-6 beers on a Friday or Saturday, and I plan it that way. Haven't missed any commitments or stuff I'm supposed to do the next day. If I know I have an early day or something, I just don't drink then. But if I do drink, I wanna feel it.

Coffee, on the other hand - I admit I have a huge addiction there.
 
2012-12-11 05:34:54 PM  
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

What about all the other nights?

I know I'm not an alcoholic, anyway. Alcoholics go to meetings.
 
2012-12-11 05:35:10 PM  

punkhippie: InspectorZero: I realize that some people are unable to control their drinking and destructive behavior it causes, but I really do think there are a lot more people who over-indulge to which the AA model does not apply.

The AA model does not apply to anyone, as it is built entirely on made-up bullshiat. Alcohol addiction is real enough, it just has nothing to do with diseases, powerlessness, higher powers or any of that crap.


The AA model works well for religious alcoholics that actually want to quit. It is a solid crutch. Dad was in AA since before I was born and hasn't drank since then.

I however drink everyday but rarely overdo it so I only scored a 7.
 
2012-12-11 05:35:15 PM  

Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.

huh. that does suck. i live in portland, OR so 6 pints here is more like 1200+ calories... ;)


I mean the two beers a day - a bottle is usually around 150-175 calories.
 
2012-12-11 05:35:22 PM  

PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.


but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?
 
2012-12-11 05:36:26 PM  

Jument: I scored a 5. Yay! I can drink more!

FWIW, you farkers who are saying that 4 beers is nothing are either drinking the wrong kind of beer or are already alcoholics. Or maybe you're just young. I'm in my 40s. There was probably a time when 4 beers wasn't much to me, but it would never have been "nothing".


I wouldn't drive after 4 beers but I'm not exactly drunk after 4 either.
 
2012-12-11 05:36:48 PM  
I got a 26. ::shrug:: I already know I'm a drunkard; trying to get no worse than high-function alcoholic.
 
2012-12-11 05:36:54 PM  
i only drink 1-2 beers a day cause i live with my parents but if i get out on my own i'm drinking 12 beers a day

is that a problem??

or only when it interferes with work/school??
 
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