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(KHOU Houston)   Doctor suggests you should take action now if you're an 'Almost Alcoholic'. Drew suggests coughing up $5 a month to remove all doubt   (khou.com) divider line 260
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11427 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Dec 2012 at 4:51 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-11 03:54:33 PM
Dr. Doyle is focusing on the zone, between normal use and alcoholism diagnosis-the so-called almost alcoholic range. Here, the risk of things like insomnia, diabetes and cancer can increase.

Really? I find putting away a 12er a night takes care of that problem.
 
2012-12-11 04:07:14 PM
By 'taking action' I assume he means drink more to achieve that alcoholism. No one likes a quitter.
 
2012-12-11 04:07:20 PM
Brenda Wilhelmson believes she was an almost alcoholic. She confides, "It turned into a way that I rewarded myself at the end of the day, and it just escalated from there. I was basically drinking myself to sleep every night."

That's called alcoholism, sweetie. Nothing almost about it.
 
2012-12-11 04:27:49 PM
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Monday morning Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

That was the point where I began getting concerned.
 
2012-12-11 04:34:00 PM
I scored a 12. I thought it would be much worse.
 
2012-12-11 04:39:09 PM
Woo! High score!

Just kidding, it's a 6.

/would have been more like a 20 in college
 
2012-12-11 04:43:18 PM

dahmers love zombie: Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Monday morning Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

That was the point where I began getting concerned.


Yeah no shiat. Depending on your metabolism and weight, 4 beers in one night is pretty much nothing.

This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.
 
2012-12-11 04:52:19 PM

antidisestablishmentarianism: I scored a 12. I thought it would be much worse.


10 here, and me too....
 
2012-12-11 04:53:14 PM
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two eight beers."

FTFM.
 
2012-12-11 04:54:50 PM
I got a 3. . .
 
2012-12-11 04:55:43 PM
Leave me alone.
 
2012-12-11 04:56:10 PM
Really, I only scored a 21?

It's probably because I don't drink when I get up. At noon. On a weekday.
 
2012-12-11 04:56:45 PM
In other news you have to be a pretty farked up case to be considered an alcoholic according to that test.
 
2012-12-11 04:57:13 PM
I scored a 1.

It is possible that I am wicked boring but have a good, strong liver. :-|
 
2012-12-11 04:57:30 PM

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.


FTFA:

Dr. Robert Doyle, a psychiatrist, researcher, and author

There's a lot of money to be made in convincing people they're broken and that you can fix them.
 
2012-12-11 04:57:31 PM
This approach to measuring and treating alcohol use/dependency is very beneficial, in that it doesn't attempt to paint lower level users as full-blown alcoholics, which is not only inaccurate but also leads them to reject suggestions that they may have anything to deal with.

A lot of behaviors that can have negative effects appear accross a wide spectrum, not just at one end or the other.

I think that this approach is a step in the right direction - but of course it will be lambasted by two groups: the folks with somewhat unhealthy drinking patterns who reject any suggestion they should alter behavior and the AA recovering alcoholics who insist that anyone who drinks is a dangerous addict.
 
2012-12-11 04:58:35 PM

Gordian Cipher: Woo! High score!

Just kidding, it's a 6.

/would have been more like a 20 in college


I couldnt get my score but I suspect it may have been the same. I drink so much less now. Hell a bottle of rum will last me longer than a month now. But I still hide it from my alcoholic roomate
 
2012-12-11 05:00:58 PM
14

*shrug*
 
2012-12-11 05:01:30 PM
Just a 6. Must try harder in 2013. Next stop, shiat-My-Pantsville.
 
2012-12-11 05:01:41 PM
farking busybodies telling me how to live my life.
 
2012-12-11 05:02:08 PM
11 gotta keep reaching for the dream
 
2012-12-11 05:02:21 PM

cefm: This approach to measuring and treating alcohol use/dependency is very beneficial, in that it doesn't attempt to paint lower level users as full-blown alcoholics, which is not only inaccurate but also leads them to reject suggestions that they may have anything to deal with.

A lot of behaviors that can have negative effects appear accross a wide spectrum, not just at one end or the other.

I think that this approach is a step in the right direction - but of course it will be lambasted by two groups: the folks with somewhat unhealthy drinking patterns who reject any suggestion they should alter behavior and the AA recovering alcoholics who insist that anyone who drinks is a dangerous addict.


Thanks for saying this. I used to imbibe way more than I do nowadays. I changed my behavior and now drink in moderation (mostly). I realize that some people are unable to control their drinking and destructive behavior it causes, but I really do think there are a lot more people who over-indulge to which the AA model does not apply.
 
2012-12-11 05:03:28 PM

sigdiamond2000: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.

FTFA:

Dr. Robert Doyle, a psychiatrist, researcher, and author

There's a lot of money to be made in convincing people they're broken and that you can fix them.


No sh*t. Wow, he's got a book out just in time for the dysfunctional family holiday gatherings.
 
2012-12-11 05:03:42 PM
A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.
 
2012-12-11 05:04:47 PM
Meh........15
 
2012-12-11 05:04:49 PM
Nobody stops drinking when they're "almost' an alcoholic. That's the whole point of being an alcoholic, that you don't stop drinking when your head tells you that you should.

Duh, some doctor.
 
2012-12-11 05:05:00 PM
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

Wait, you want me to drink six beers? Well, you're the doctor.
 
2012-12-11 05:05:05 PM
Woohoo! I only scored a 16! I thought I was way worse than that! Time to celebrate!
 
2012-12-11 05:05:51 PM
I get a 10, but including that time I got drunk and fell down the stairs ups it to 14. Seems kind of arbitrary.
 
2012-12-11 05:07:17 PM
17. I work in the wine and spirits industry. This test is b.s. because, frankly, I worry about all the booze I consume.

/Drinking Pinot Noir while writing this.
//At work.
 
2012-12-11 05:07:51 PM
Given that we had our holiday party yesterday, followed by a happy hour, I'm getting a kick.

I left at 8:30, apparently the party went on until 2 am. That might be why I scored a 10 and not a 25.
 
2012-12-11 05:09:07 PM
28. What do I win?
 
2012-12-11 05:09:07 PM

groppet: But I still hide it from my alcoholic roomate


^^^^ lives alone. >8þ
 
2012-12-11 05:09:25 PM
10. Fark, I am disappoint. I blame legal Cannabis.
 
2012-12-11 05:09:38 PM
7?

What the hell, I've got to step up my game.
 
2012-12-11 05:10:17 PM
Does ordering another round fall under "taking action"?
 
2012-12-11 05:10:42 PM

Grapple: groppet: But I still hide it from my alcoholic roomate

^^^^ lives alone. >8þ


My roommates would never dare touch my single malt scotch.
 
2012-12-11 05:11:09 PM
A disappointing 22. I probably could have maxed out in my teen years in Green Bay, WI.
 
2012-12-11 05:11:42 PM
15... + $5 TotalFark.....lets see.. order of operations..carry the two.... yeah I drink too much.
 
2012-12-11 05:11:43 PM
Doctor doctor, give me the news, I gotta bad case of lovin' booze! No cheap swill is gonna cure my ill, I gotta bad case of lovin' boooooooooze!
 
2012-12-11 05:12:15 PM
i got an 8.

got thing a recounted the number of drinks per night by a standard of whether or not the drink was satisfactory in both quantity and quality.

/ it's so farking aggravating to be served a crappy drink. i just don't count them.
 
2012-12-11 05:12:16 PM
I dry out at least 1 day a week.

That day was yesterday. I'm cleared for takeoff.
 
das
2012-12-11 05:12:27 PM
Are, or are not.There is no almost.
 
2012-12-11 05:12:31 PM
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

So just drink 2 less right.......down to 10 I guess. Yay me!
 
2012-12-11 05:12:51 PM

cefm: A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.


You, good sir, sound like someone trying to justify squeaking into a lower bracket.
 
2012-12-11 05:13:18 PM
ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.
 
2012-12-11 05:13:49 PM

H31N0US: In other news you have to be a pretty farked up case to be considered an alcoholic according to that test.


This.

Scored a 17, and I drink at least a pint of liquor a day, mixed in with a few beers (but they don't count).
 
2012-12-11 05:14:04 PM

pute kisses like a man: i got an 8.

got thing a recounted the number of drinks per night by a standard of whether or not the drink was satisfactory in both quantity and quality.

/ it's so farking aggravating to be served a crappy drink. i just don't count them.


what happened to my typing? did someone re-set my keyboard? that's not what I meant to say.
 
2012-12-11 05:14:19 PM

3

0-8 = normal social drinking
9-29= almost alcoholic range
30-40 = high risk


Wooo, I'm boring!
 
2012-12-11 05:14:21 PM

skinink: Doctor doctor, give me the news, I gotta bad case of lovin' booze! No cheap swill is gonna cure my ill, I gotta bad case of lovin' boooooooooze!


I'll never hear that song the same way again. This will rival the early 80's when my friend forever turned "Queen of Hearts" into "Queen of Farts".
 
2012-12-11 05:14:21 PM
FTFQ:

3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week


So if I have six or more drinks once a week, do I answer "Monthly" or "Two to three times a week?" It's neither, you farking jackbags!
 
2012-12-11 05:14:45 PM

cryinoutloud: Nobody stops drinking when they're "almost' an alcoholic. That's the whole point of being an alcoholic, that you don't stop drinking when your head, your friends, family members and f*cked up consequences tells you that you should.

Duh, some doctor.


fixed

This book is written for the Oprah/Dr. Phil junkies to give them fuel to interfere with friends and family members because they need a hobby.

,
 
2012-12-11 05:15:02 PM
3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week


this question is kind of bogus. Where's the "Once a week" option? It's either....you don't drink enough...or way too farking much. No middle ground option there.

I only scored an 8 overall.
 
2012-12-11 05:15:29 PM
I got a 1. And I'm not even Mormon!
 
2012-12-11 05:15:44 PM

Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.


Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.
 
2012-12-11 05:16:57 PM

sigdiamond2000: TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: This article is the equivalent of my friend's mom thinking I'm an alcoholic because I have a large array of liquor bottles in my kitchen.

FTFA:

Dr. Robert Doyle, a psychiatrist, researcher, and author

There's a lot of money to be made in convincing people they're broken and that you can fix them.


OR writing books about ex girlfriends, boyfriends and spouses. I got an 8. About what I figured. I don't partly like college but I ain't dead either. Legal issues get pricer the older you get.

Loaded questions are loaded. FTA: 2. How many drinks containing alcohol do you have on a typical day when you are drinking? Um....each one? If I'm in a safe place among friends, in a cozy environment where drinking is expected and we don't get all stabby then 1=1.
 
2012-12-11 05:17:16 PM
I recognized (and was also clued into) some warning signs in my own drinking habits and now keep a loose vigil on ensuring it doesn't turn into a problem or otherwise negatively impact my day to day life. Watching a close family member fall right down the rabbit hole over and over again is a harsh reminder though that not everyone is so fortunate.

robbiex0r: 14

*shrug*


*high five* me too!
 
2012-12-11 05:17:17 PM

JustLookin: FTFQ:

3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week

So if I have six or more drinks once a week, do I answer "Monthly" or "Two to three times a week?" It's neither, you farking jackbags!


That is exactly what I thought. The ranges are designed to put you into the "grey area" he is creating so you buy his book.
 
2012-12-11 05:17:55 PM

cefm: I think that this approach is a step in the right direction - but of course it will be lambasted by two groups: the folks with somewhat unhealthy drinking patterns who reject any suggestion they should alter behavior and the AA recovering alcoholics who insist that anyone who drinks is a dangerous addict.


You're forgetting the third group that lambasts it because the "2 beers on Friday night" bit is puritanical horseshiat.
 
2012-12-11 05:18:18 PM

recoil47: cefm: A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.

You, good sir, sound like someone trying to justify squeaking into a lower bracket.


bah,

for #7, how often have you felt guilt or remorse for drinking? (this isn't a temporal question, this is a causal issue)

for #10, refine the question to: has any one whose opinion you respect expressed concern over your drinking? (there are always people who think you're living your life the wrong way, it's impossible to avoid)
 
2012-12-11 05:18:21 PM
11, I thought it'd be much higher.

Although I don't know how to answer the "are you able to stop drinking once you've started" question. I typically stop drinking when I feel like stopping, and that's usually not after one drink (although sometimes it is, if I'm in a one-drink social situation). But often at home I'll start drinking with a vague intention of having 1 or 2 drinks but end up having 3, 4 or 5 - does that mean I'm unable to stop? Or does it mean I decided I'd like another drink or two? It's not like I went into it saying to myself "dammit, you're stopping at 2 tonight come hell or high water" and then woke up 14 hours later with 2 empty bottles of Beam on the nightstand.

If anything that quiz makes me think I'm practically a teetotaller and can go ahead and up my intake another couple notches.
 
2012-12-11 05:18:35 PM
I don't drink, myself.

I'm just fine being the perpetual designated driver.
 
2012-12-11 05:19:07 PM
Also, what if I don't like beer and prefer whiskey, bourbon, and gin? Vodka doesn't count as alcohol right?
 
2012-12-11 05:19:42 PM
alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed
 
2012-12-11 05:20:10 PM
This is lame. My annual bar/liquor store tab exceeds a US median salary and I only managed to score a 10.
 
2012-12-11 05:20:27 PM

cryinoutloud: Nobody stops drinking when they're "almost' an alcoholic. That's the whole point of being an alcoholic, that you don't stop drinking when your head tells you that you should.

Duh, some doctor.


I think that was his whole point. Try to get off the train before you hit full blown alcoholism.

/Scored a 19. I Already know I'm what's considered a functional alcoholic. I drink too much and too often but I stay sober during working hours and the problems it causes are limited to minor embarrassments. I'm over 40 and have never progressed to full blown alcoholism despite a few periods where it would've been a natural progression. I figure I'm safe enough.
 
2012-12-11 05:20:35 PM

WTFDYW: 28. What do I win?


Liver failure?

/Because you're on that dangerous cusp between "harming your liver" and "pickling your liver"
 
2012-12-11 05:21:18 PM
24. 2nd place in the thread. I never win anything. That explains my lack of self esteem, hence why I drink. Dammit.
 
2012-12-11 05:21:20 PM
10! 10! ? bullshiat!

i'm at least at 29, the high end of the not a problem score.

I like beer & i'm not a guilty drinker, man i really like beer.
 
2012-12-11 05:21:37 PM

Pemulis: 11, I thought it'd be much higher.

Although I don't know how to answer the "are you able to stop drinking once you've started" question. I typically stop drinking when I feel like stopping, and that's usually not after one drink (although sometimes it is, if I'm in a one-drink social situation). But often at home I'll start drinking with a vague intention of having 1 or 2 drinks but end up having 3, 4 or 5 - does that mean I'm unable to stop? Or does it mean I decided I'd like another drink or two? It's not like I went into it saying to myself "dammit, you're stopping at 2 tonight come hell or high water" and then woke up 14 hours later with 2 empty bottles of Beam on the nightstand.

If anything that quiz makes me think I'm practically a teetotaller and can go ahead and up my intake another couple notches.


Alcoholics can't/won't stop drinking. That typically means you'd drive your drunk ass to the liquor store just before it closes because you only have 4 beers left. Or it means that family/friends are trying to get you to stop drinking because you're making an ass of yourself so you either argue with them and keep drinking or start to hide your drinking so you can keep your buzz going.
 
2012-12-11 05:22:31 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I don't drink, myself.

I'm just fine being the perpetual designated driver.


Do you live in the Midwest?
Are you an organ donor?
Do you have a bathtub?
Is there a gas station nearby that sells big bags of ice?
 
2012-12-11 05:22:34 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed


Neglected children beg to differ.
 
2012-12-11 05:23:05 PM
Add me to the "Scored a 16, and there's no way I'm an 'almost alcoholic'" list.
 
2012-12-11 05:24:21 PM

cefm: The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"


Also:

lolindian.com
 
2012-12-11 05:25:19 PM

/Scored a 19. I Already know I'm what's considered a functional alcoholic. I drink too much and too often but I stay sober during working hours and the problems it causes are limited to minor embarrassments. I'm over 40 and have never progressed to full blown alcoholism despite a few periods where it would've been a natural progression. I figure I'm safe enough.


Mom? Dad? Uncle Pete?
 
2012-12-11 05:25:35 PM

PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.


6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends
 
2012-12-11 05:25:36 PM

InspectorZero: I realize that some people are unable to control their drinking and destructive behavior it causes, but I really do think there are a lot more people who over-indulge to which the AA model does not apply.


The AA model does not apply to anyone, as it is built entirely on made-up bullshiat. Alcohol addiction is real enough, it just has nothing to do with diseases, powerlessness, higher powers or any of that crap.
 
2012-12-11 05:26:32 PM

Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.


why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy
 
2012-12-11 05:28:59 PM

Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends


Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.
 
2012-12-11 05:29:52 PM
1. I was a lot worse until I hit 21.
 
2012-12-11 05:30:09 PM

Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends


I used to eat/drink whatever the hell i wanted right up til about a year ago then the calories finally caught up with me, 6' 3" pushing 230, just (what feels like) a few months ago i was at 190. It all happened so fast, i blame my love of beer, a 3 day weekend & the means necessary to finance that kind of idiocy.
 
2012-12-11 05:31:09 PM
www.drunkard.com
 
2012-12-11 05:31:17 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy


Because beer is delicious, and wants me to be happy.
 
2012-12-11 05:31:39 PM
I like Doug Stanhope's take on AA.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4txNz25Ht9o
 
2012-12-11 05:31:48 PM
Yeah, you're right Moe... you're always Moe.
 
2012-12-11 05:32:22 PM

you have pee hands: Jon iz teh kewl: why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Because beer is delicious, and wants me to be happy.


yeah your right. beer is delicious and i can never give up beer

but oxycontin i could give that up

/never
 
2012-12-11 05:33:05 PM
11. Meh.
 
2012-12-11 05:33:08 PM

bearded clamorer: Do you live in the Midwest?
Are you an organ donor?
Do you have a bathtub?
Is there a gas station nearby that sells big bags of ice?


1.) No.

2.) No.

3.) Yes.

4.) HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, WAIT A DOGGONE MINUTE
 
2012-12-11 05:33:30 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy


Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.
 
2012-12-11 05:34:05 PM
What next, "Almost Crackhead?"
 
2012-12-11 05:34:14 PM

PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.


huh. that does suck. i live in portland, OR so 6 pints here is more like 1200+ calories... ;)
 
2012-12-11 05:34:36 PM
I scored a 5. Yay! I can drink more!

FWIW, you farkers who are saying that 4 beers is nothing are either drinking the wrong kind of beer or are already alcoholics. Or maybe you're just young. I'm in my 40s. There was probably a time when 4 beers wasn't much to me, but it would never have been "nothing".
 
2012-12-11 05:34:50 PM
I got an 8. I'm happy with that.

5-6 beers on a Friday or Saturday, and I plan it that way. Haven't missed any commitments or stuff I'm supposed to do the next day. If I know I have an early day or something, I just don't drink then. But if I do drink, I wanna feel it.

Coffee, on the other hand - I admit I have a huge addiction there.
 
2012-12-11 05:34:54 PM
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

What about all the other nights?

I know I'm not an alcoholic, anyway. Alcoholics go to meetings.
 
2012-12-11 05:35:10 PM

punkhippie: InspectorZero: I realize that some people are unable to control their drinking and destructive behavior it causes, but I really do think there are a lot more people who over-indulge to which the AA model does not apply.

The AA model does not apply to anyone, as it is built entirely on made-up bullshiat. Alcohol addiction is real enough, it just has nothing to do with diseases, powerlessness, higher powers or any of that crap.


The AA model works well for religious alcoholics that actually want to quit. It is a solid crutch. Dad was in AA since before I was born and hasn't drank since then.

I however drink everyday but rarely overdo it so I only scored a 7.
 
2012-12-11 05:35:15 PM

Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.

huh. that does suck. i live in portland, OR so 6 pints here is more like 1200+ calories... ;)


I mean the two beers a day - a bottle is usually around 150-175 calories.
 
2012-12-11 05:35:22 PM

PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.


but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?
 
2012-12-11 05:36:26 PM

Jument: I scored a 5. Yay! I can drink more!

FWIW, you farkers who are saying that 4 beers is nothing are either drinking the wrong kind of beer or are already alcoholics. Or maybe you're just young. I'm in my 40s. There was probably a time when 4 beers wasn't much to me, but it would never have been "nothing".


I wouldn't drive after 4 beers but I'm not exactly drunk after 4 either.
 
2012-12-11 05:36:48 PM
I got a 26. ::shrug:: I already know I'm a drunkard; trying to get no worse than high-function alcoholic.
 
2012-12-11 05:36:54 PM
i only drink 1-2 beers a day cause i live with my parents but if i get out on my own i'm drinking 12 beers a day

is that a problem??

or only when it interferes with work/school??
 
2012-12-11 05:36:57 PM

Isitoveryet: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

I used to eat/drink whatever the hell i wanted right up til about a year ago then the calories finally caught up with me, 6' 3" pushing 230, just (what feels like) a few months ago i was at 190. It all happened so fast, i blame my love of beer, a 3 day weekend & the means necessary to finance that kind of idiocy.


1 am 35. i suspect the metabolic shift is right around the corner... may have to cut out lunch to accomodate the beer ? now that would be alcoholic !
 
2012-12-11 05:37:17 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.

but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?


In DC we call that "Thursday."
 
2012-12-11 05:37:38 PM

punkhippie: InspectorZero: I realize that some people are unable to control their drinking and destructive behavior it causes, but I really do think there are a lot more people who over-indulge to which the AA model does not apply.

The AA model does not apply to anyone, as it is built entirely on made-up bullshiat. Alcohol addiction is real enough, it just has nothing to do with diseases, powerlessness, higher powers or any of that crap.



Many people are genetically inclined to be addicted to something. This could be drugs, or religion or TV, or internet, food, or excessive exercise etc. AA tends to replace one addiction with highly negative consequences (the alcohol) with another less negative addiction (going to AA meetings).

The various AA concepts are used to aid participation, though for any given individual there are many reasons why it might not work as their personality may not mesh with a particular group.

Generally speaking, many people really are powerless to fight addiction as its in their brain wiring. The best they can hope for is to be addicted to something less unhealthy.
 
2012-12-11 05:40:13 PM

PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.

but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?

In DC we call that "Thursday."


i'm too young for drinking i drink kids beer (malta goya)
 
2012-12-11 05:40:37 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.

but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?


america needs to drop the puritanical zealotry.

it's farking alcohol, not a deal with the devil. drink wine with your wife. happy, sad, who gives a shiat. wine tastes good, and in sufficient quantities, brings about all the effects of drunkenness.

the only time alcohol becomes a problem is if you can't deal with your other depressions such that you abuse alcohol to fark up your responsibilities, obligations, and other good things in life.

some degree of self-awareness will answer any question as to whether you're doing fine or you're burning the candle at both ends.
 
2012-12-11 05:41:07 PM

TheDirtyNacho: Many people are genetically inclined to be addicted to something.


Horseshiat. There is simply zero credible, scientifically valid evidence for this statement. And you know they've been looking for a long ass time.
 
2012-12-11 05:42:02 PM

Mimic_Octopus: 1 am 35. i suspect the metabolic shift is right around the corner... may have to cut out lunch to accomodate the beer ? now that would be alcoholic !


that age seems about right, i'll be turning 40 next year & so far the only change has been the belly. you'd think there'd be more but there wasn't.

/oh thinning! the hair is thinner too!
 
2012-12-11 05:42:27 PM

pute kisses like a man: Jon iz teh kewl: PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.

but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?

america needs to drop the puritanical zealotry.

it's farking alcohol, not a deal with the devil. drink wine with your wife. happy, sad, who gives a shiat. wine tastes good, and in sufficient quantities, brings about all the effects of drunkenness.

the only time alcohol becomes a problem is if you can't deal with your other depressions such that you abuse alcohol to fark up your responsibilities, obligations, and other good things in life.

some degree of self-awareness will answer any question as to whether you're doing fine or you're burning the candle at both ends.


how about i drink a virtual beer with u
 
2012-12-11 05:42:38 PM
I scored a 1. Go me.

/drank a hell of a lot in my 20s. Barely drink at all now.
 
2012-12-11 05:43:02 PM
scored a 3

would've scored a 23 back in college
 
2012-12-11 05:43:06 PM

PrivateCaboose: Jument: I scored a 5. Yay! I can drink more!

FWIW, you farkers who are saying that 4 beers is nothing are either drinking the wrong kind of beer or are already alcoholics. Or maybe you're just young. I'm in my 40s. There was probably a time when 4 beers wasn't much to me, but it would never have been "nothing".

I wouldn't drive after 4 beers but I'm not exactly drunk after 4 either.


that's one beer a quarter while watching a football game. now, maybe drink 4 beers in one quarter and we can talk drunkenness, but 4 beers in almost as many hours, and I'd be surprised if you showed up on a breathalyzer.
 
2012-12-11 05:44:03 PM

antidisestablishmentarianism: I scored a 12. I thought it would be much worse.


Same here.
 
2012-12-11 05:45:48 PM

satanorsanta: The AA model works well for religious alcoholics that actually want to quit. It is a solid crutch.


OK, this I can buy. If you already believe in the fundie god, the one who pretty much hates you but will put up with you if you say you like his kid, then AA might work for you.
 
2012-12-11 05:46:30 PM

antidisestablishmentarianism: I scored a 12. I thought it would be much worse.


There was a test?

*scurries back to TFA*

13

"Struggle with alcohols? No sire, I don't struggle at all!"
 
2012-12-11 05:46:46 PM
Dr. Doyle shares, "We're not trying to put labels on people. In fact, we're trying to prevent people from getting the label of a very serious condition."

No Doctor, that is exactly what you are doing.

Much shorter, more legitimate quiz:

1. Do you want a drink?
2. Do you need a drink?

If you answered 'yes' to number 2, get a Pepsi, no booze, and GTFO. When you can answer 'no' to #2 honestly, come back.
 
2012-12-11 05:47:49 PM
I scored 40

So, like, then is that sorta like 80 proof? Am I at a high risk to buy yet another stupid book about something a first world problem that has been beaten to death? Can I audition for Intervention? Do I have to cry better than everyone else to get a free plane ride at the end while sentimental music mysteriously plays in the background? 

Does the book come with a money back guarantee by Dr.Phil?
astarsmile.com 

// Don't get me all wrong...I know alcoholism is a real problem
// I just get a bit tired of people capitalizing on it with so-called helpful books that are nothing more than a play for a quick buck.
// I can't wait for Dr Drew to weigh in on and dupe more addicts into thinking they are getting help by buying this drivel.
// The Faux Concern Trifecta will be complete then.
 
 
 
2012-12-11 05:48:47 PM

punkhippie: TheDirtyNacho: Many people are genetically inclined to be addicted to something.

Horseshiat. There is simply zero credible, scientifically valid evidence for this statement. And you know they've been looking for a long ass time.


Better let the APA know, Doc.

These guys too

Or you know what, here
 
2012-12-11 05:50:25 PM
This whole thread is making me want a beer. I may pick some up on the way home.
 
2012-12-11 05:52:41 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: pute kisses like a man: Jon iz teh kewl: PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.

but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?

america needs to drop the puritanical zealotry.

it's farking alcohol, not a deal with the devil. drink wine with your wife. happy, sad, who gives a shiat. wine tastes good, and in sufficient quantities, brings about all the effects of drunkenness.

the only time alcohol becomes a problem is if you can't deal with your other depressions such that you abuse alcohol to fark up your responsibilities, obligations, and other good things in life.

some degree of self-awareness will answer any question as to whether you're doing fine or you're burning the candle at both ends.

how about i drink a virtual beer with u


cheers.

/ this is one of those points in time were I may have posted in error... I didn't realize to whom I was replying, and I've learned before to be wary of taking you too seriously.
 
2012-12-11 05:53:42 PM

PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.


Men require more calories than women so it doesn't have the same impact on us as it does on you.

Being a dude rocks.
 
2012-12-11 05:54:10 PM
That test is a farking joke.
 
2012-12-11 05:56:05 PM
I scored a 4. I'm 49 and have been winding down on drinking for a while. I can't drink like I used to. I experimented with adding an occasional blackout to the score and it went up to 5. I don't ever drink enough for that, but was curious. I've been around AAers who claim any blackouts are an irrefutable sign of alcoholisms so I was surprised that it only added one point.

My son says that AA teaches you to see the alcoholic in everyone. Seems about right.
 
2012-12-11 05:56:43 PM

ReapTheChaos: That test is a farking joke.


can u pass teh acid test??
 
2012-12-11 05:57:05 PM

TheDirtyNacho: punkhippie: TheDirtyNacho: Many people are genetically inclined to be addicted to something.

Horseshiat. There is simply zero credible, scientifically valid evidence for this statement. And you know they've been looking for a long ass time.

Better let the APA know, Doc.

These guys too

Or you know what, here


APA was relentlessly lobbied by steppers to have addiction declared a disease, so that doesn't mean much. And sure, you can find studies claiming a genetic link - you can find studies that claim anything. Show me hundreds of them that all show similar results and then you'll convince me.

Science, motherfarker.
 
2012-12-11 05:57:24 PM
Wait since alcoholism is considered a disease, you either have it or don't. There's no such thing as a almost disease. Is there?

/right?
 
2012-12-11 05:58:47 PM

umad: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.

Men require more calories than women so it doesn't have the same impact on us as it does on you.

Being a dude rocks.


calories in = calories out in a perfect world
but NOO people are gay and eat to much, drink to much beer, etc..
creating a WORLD of alcoholics
 
2012-12-11 05:59:45 PM

Nightshade50: Wait since alcoholism is considered a disease, you either have it or don't. There's no such thing as a almost disease. Is there?

/right?


u can get tested for the disease by going to a bar and getting brethaylysted
if ur sober u pass
if ur drunk u get stoned

then that's teh cure
 
2012-12-11 05:59:58 PM

umad: Men require more calories than women so it doesn't have the same impact on us as it does on you.

Being a dude rocks.


It also takes us more beers to get drunk, and more steak to get full. I think it probably evens out except for the grocery bill.
 
2012-12-11 06:01:48 PM
TFA:

Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

I'm on vacation. I didn't drink yesterday because I only had 7 beers in the house. Why the fark would someone only drink 4 beers?

/may have problem
 
2012-12-11 06:02:14 PM
Guess I'll switch to pot, then.
 
2012-12-11 06:02:18 PM

homelessdude: I scored 40
...
Can I audition for Intervention?
...



Research material: How to Ace an Intervention.
 
2012-12-11 06:02:22 PM

pute kisses like a man: Jon iz teh kewl: pute kisses like a man: Jon iz teh kewl: PrivateCaboose: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

Marriage doesn't automagically make someone happy. And if you drink because you're unhappy, that's pretty much the first sign you have a problem.

but if i drink because i'm happy then it's an all-u-can-drink smorgasbord?

america needs to drop the puritanical zealotry.

it's farking alcohol, not a deal with the devil. drink wine with your wife. happy, sad, who gives a shiat. wine tastes good, and in sufficient quantities, brings about all the effects of drunkenness.

the only time alcohol becomes a problem is if you can't deal with your other depressions such that you abuse alcohol to fark up your responsibilities, obligations, and other good things in life.

some degree of self-awareness will answer any question as to whether you're doing fine or you're burning the candle at both ends.

how about i drink a virtual beer with u

cheers.

/ this is one of those points in time were I may have posted in error... I didn't realize to whom I was replying, and I've learned before to be wary of taking you too seriously.


yes.
 
2012-12-11 06:02:59 PM
Does a 22 count as one drinks or two?
Need an answer soonish...

\arrogant bastard, if it matters.
 
2012-12-11 06:03:31 PM
Is it the difference between this and this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZpslnTPilY
 
2012-12-11 06:05:35 PM

punkhippie: TheDirtyNacho: punkhippie: TheDirtyNacho: Many people are genetically inclined to be addicted to something.

Horseshiat. There is simply zero credible, scientifically valid evidence for this statement. And you know they've been looking for a long ass time.

Better let the APA know, Doc.

These guys too

Or you know what, here

APA was relentlessly lobbied by steppers to have addiction declared a disease, so that doesn't mean much. And sure, you can find studies claiming a genetic link - you can find studies that claim anything. Show me hundreds of them that all show similar results and then you'll convince me.

Science, motherfarker.



I guess you didn't click the last link.

Or, you know, you could easily just google 'addiction genetics'. It's very well known and studied to the point I suggest you come up with proof of your own view that would seem to be opposed by many.
 
2012-12-11 06:05:47 PM
alcohol is one of the safest drugs out there. next to wellbutrin and butt sex
 
2012-12-11 06:07:33 PM
I came here to see pictures of David Tennant and Matt Smith with witty captions. I am leaving sorely disappointed.

Phrozen

/yes, I know *I* could have posted some
//that's not what I came here for
 
2012-12-11 06:10:00 PM

pute kisses like a man: cheers.

/ this is one of those points in time were I may have posted in error... I didn't realize to whom I was replying, and I've learned before to be wary of taking you too seriously.



a disclaimer on FARK, i never thought of that.
 
2012-12-11 06:11:40 PM
Felt strange taking that test while drinking a bourbon.

Took it twice because some of the answers didn't fit exactly. Averaged a 7.
 
2012-12-11 06:13:37 PM
Happily I have put away the hooch 6 mos. ago, tobacco free since Halloween.....just a sniff of wine with dinner now and again and a beer on Sundays.....I'm practically a fricking saint....do feel better and sleep better...my Dr. is very happy about the BP numbers....so, there ya go.
 
2012-12-11 06:13:38 PM
the only consequence of my drinking is an enlarged bustline.

why not make a survey of "are u an obese fatty"
 
2012-12-11 06:14:02 PM
Scored a nine. It would be higher but I can't afford to abuse my liver like I do my penis
 
2012-12-11 06:14:11 PM
I've heard you can square your number of allowed drinks for every child in the household under the age of 2. So I am in like Flynn.
 
2012-12-11 06:14:28 PM
15. Hmm...
 
2012-12-11 06:15:13 PM

robbiex0r: 14

*shrug*


same here, same shrug.
 
2012-12-11 06:18:50 PM

not_an_indigo: Guess I'll switch to pot, then.


Funny thing is when I used to smoke once a day a 12 pack would last me a week.

/replace one with the other
 
2012-12-11 06:20:59 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: why not make a survey of "are u an almost obese fatty"

 
2012-12-11 06:24:25 PM
26...and I am definitely an alcoholic...
 
2012-12-11 06:24:53 PM
speaking of wine. Pinot Grigio + cold meds = fun night on Fark.
 
2012-12-11 06:28:16 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I don't drink, myself.

I'm just fine being the perpetual designated driver.


That's fine. We'll pay you nicely for carting our asses around.

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.


Define that 300. Which ever one of you said that, you need to kill your trainer. He or she is getting paid to tell you that. But then, that's what you like, isn't it? SAY IT. YES, SIR!
 
2012-12-11 06:28:44 PM

Rapmaster2000: I get a 10, but including that time I got drunk and fell down the stairs ups it to 14. Seems kind of arbitrary.


If nobody saw you fall down the stairs it doesn't count.
 
2012-12-11 06:29:52 PM

cefm: This approach to measuring and treating alcohol use/dependency is very beneficial, in that it doesn't attempt to paint lower level users as full-blown alcoholics, which is not only inaccurate but also leads them to reject suggestions that they may have anything to deal with.

A lot of behaviors that can have negative effects appear accross a wide spectrum, not just at one end or the other.

I think that this approach is a step in the right direction - but of course it will be lambasted by two groups: the folks with somewhat unhealthy drinking patterns who reject any suggestion they should alter behavior and the AA recovering alcoholics who insist that anyone who drinks is a dangerous addict.


Being one of "AA recovering alcoholics" with many friends in the program I can say I know almost no one who thinks that everyone who drinks is a "dangerous addict". Mostly they will say that if the results of your drinking bother you then you should quit, most will half jokingly say you should continue drinking "right up til the wheels fall off", because hey, who wants to be told what to do unless there is a really good reason. I don't know where we get the bad rep but we know how to party, even while sober. If we didn't we wouldn't be alcoholics. I'd say it's probably mostly our long-suffering spouses that whine everyone that drinks is a dangerous addict. But hey maybe that's just me blaming the victim again.
 
2012-12-11 06:31:14 PM
BJs feel better after zero beers, but when not getting BJs 4-5 feels best. Drink around your BJ schedule for maximal enjoyment.
 
2012-12-11 06:33:00 PM
Now: 9
2 years ago: 30

I was quite a drunk for long time. Not on the wagon but have really scaled back...
 
2012-12-11 06:33:12 PM
My weak stomach prevents me from drinking all that much.

I'm trying to cut out really unnecessary calories so when I'm out of beer in the fridge I'm not going to restock to avoid drinking at home
 
2012-12-11 06:33:41 PM
This whole thing makes me think that DWI laws should be handled on a case by case basis. One size does not fit all. Just ask a drunk.
 
2012-12-11 06:34:17 PM
I'm a functioning alcoholic and I know it. Only a handful of people know. I scored a 27 so I feel I still got a little time!!
 
2012-12-11 06:34:40 PM
Only a 10? really? I am drunk less than an hour after work... oh well I must try harder
 
2012-12-11 06:38:26 PM

special20: This whole thing makes me think that DWI laws should be handled on a case by case basis. One size does not fit all. Just ask a drunk.


Agreed. But MADD has a problem with this.
 
2012-12-11 06:41:50 PM
14!

I should drink less, but I enjoy it so damn much.
 
2012-12-11 06:43:04 PM

fanbladesaresharp: That's fine. We'll pay you nicely for carting our asses around.


Heh, much appreciated, brother!
 
2012-12-11 06:43:47 PM
Oh, and I think the term the guy in TFA is looking for is "alcohol abuse." It's easy to abuse alcohol while not being an alcoholic.
 
2012-12-11 06:44:02 PM

JustLookin: FTFQ:

3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week

So if I have six or more drinks once a week, do I answer "Monthly" or "Two to three times a week?" It's neither, you farking jackbags!


I had the same exact response taking the quiz.

11 for me. Although some of them are kinda ambiguous.
 
2012-12-11 06:48:39 PM
Scored a 9, but then I've slowed down a LOT since uni
 
2012-12-11 06:49:02 PM
I drink too much when I'm at home. And have nothing to do for the rest of the day. When I'm at a bar I slow down and will even drink N/A beer if they have it.

/10
//Think it should be higher
 
2012-12-11 06:50:03 PM
yeah bullshiat test, for the reasons already explained.

I got an 18. I was doing five drinks of absynthe (with the expected 5-7 beers in between) passing and blacking out. I'm now down to just 2 drinks (with their 3-4 beers in between), and I don't pass out or black out, mostly.

/ok maybe I do have a problem.
//and drinking a merlot as I type
 
2012-12-11 06:51:35 PM

mantidor: and drinking a merlot as I type


Does the Merlot taste like Band-aids to you? Maybe just a hint?
 
2012-12-11 06:52:34 PM
9
 
2012-12-11 06:54:07 PM
16. I gotta slow down.
 
2012-12-11 06:54:12 PM

punkhippie: fundie god, the one who pretty much hates you but will put up with you if you say you like his kid


That was just hateful and uncalled for
 
2012-12-11 06:55:37 PM

Sid_6.7: 14!

I should drink less, but I enjoy it so damn much.


that's a familiar score and attitude.
high five!
 
2012-12-11 06:56:43 PM

Pokey.Clyde: punkhippie: fundie god, the one who pretty much hates you but will put up with you if you say you like his kid

That was just hateful and uncalled for


Kinda like God in the old testament?
 
2012-12-11 07:02:42 PM

special20: This whole thing makes me think that DWI laws should be handled on a case by case basis. One size does not fit all. Just ask a drunk.


The problem with that however is justice will depend heavily on which judge you get. I think the answer should be guidelines with wiggle room.
 
2012-12-11 07:04:05 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: that's a familiar score and attitude.


My background: I'm Scotch-Irish, Welsh, Flemish, and German.

I'm pretty much bred genetically to be a drinking god. A few beers does nothing unless it's on an empty stomach. Hell, getting wasted on beer is actually kind of hard.
 
2012-12-11 07:04:57 PM
I went from 6 to 10 drinks every day to zero last January. Smartest thing I have done in a long time. Alcohol was causing me all kinds of problems that I didn't see while I was drinking.

I knew I had a problem when I discovered that the part of my brain that counts simply couldn't comprehend the difference between 1 and 10. If I have one drink, it turns into many more. Zero is much better.
 
2012-12-11 07:05:40 PM
I prefer the term functional.
 
2012-12-11 07:06:48 PM
I should add: I'm not sober. I just avoid booze. I thought life would be weird and less enjoyable, but the alternatives are better.
 
2012-12-11 07:06:51 PM
ELEVEN!
 
2012-12-11 07:07:09 PM
34.

I think not many really high scores have been posted, because why bother taking that test at all? The real problem drinkers know who we are.
 
2012-12-11 07:07:39 PM
I will occasionally feel I'm starting to drink too much and take a month off. Because I can do this, means I am not an alcoholic.
 
2012-12-11 07:07:59 PM
do you think Drew likes being used in a headline or do you think he's like "ahh fark another brown-nosing retard"?
 
2012-12-11 07:11:07 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy


LOL it's obvious you've never been married.
 
2012-12-11 07:13:03 PM
After reading many of the above comments, I was seriously worried about taking this quiz. So I bit the bullet, and got a 16. The questions are very subjective and not very specific, and I was being honest.
 
2012-12-11 07:15:03 PM
I got an 8...probably not accurate, as there is a lot of space between once a month and 2-3 times a week.

Useless quiz is useless.
 
2012-12-11 07:15:06 PM

PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: PrivateCaboose: Mimic_Octopus: ftfa : "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

it's impossible to take these clowns seriously when they spew this puritanical bullshiat. 2 farking beers on a friday night ? i have 2 beers before i summit a farking 12000 ft mountain, assshole. i have 12- 15 beers on a friday after a week's work. and 2-6 every night between.

save this shiat for the people that are blacking out and beating their kids.

Jesus Christ that's a lot of calories.

6' 175. consume several thousand calories per day, burn as many or more between walking to work, using stairs not elevator and hitting the gym on lunch break, then hiking or snowboarding on weekends

Idk, I ride my bike into work and hit the gym daily but an extra 300 calories a day would still make me chubby. Easiest way I've found to drop weight is to drop booze.

Being a chick sucks.


But sometimes us womenfolk get free ghb with our drinks.

So there's that. Everyone wins!!!


Ghb: kinda like finding an Easter egg. Kinda.
 
2012-12-11 07:15:30 PM

Nemo's Brother: I will occasionally feel I'm starting to drink too much and take a month off. Because I can do this, means I am not an alcoholic.



Pretty much. The ability to easily quit means you are not. But, addiction is something of a spread spectrum disorder though - many people can quit temporarily, but then fall back off the wagon, and repeat. This cycle runs to varying degrees, and sometimes its blurry where 'habit' becomes 'addiction'. As the son and sibling of struggling addicts, I've seen it too many times.
 
2012-12-11 07:15:58 PM
Got an 11. Actually feel pretty good about that, considering what this year has been. Good lord this shiat needs to end.
 
2012-12-11 07:16:56 PM
10 now
23 when in college
 
2012-12-11 07:28:04 PM
I'm pretty happy with rarely, if ever, drinking during the week. Some weekends I don't feel like getting drunk. But I definitely love getting hammered a couple times a month. If you don't ever get a serious buzz on I think life would get reaaaaaally monotonous. And I sure love my Evan Williams.

Of course, provided I ever meet the right woman and have a kid, It would probably turn into a few times a year kind of thing, because I wouldnt ever want my kid to see me all snookered..or have to deal with a kid the next morning. I don't see how my parents maintained full time jobs and dealt with me growing up without ever drinking, but I sure would be serious about giving my kid the same opportunity.

/Drinking is fun
 
2012-12-11 07:28:31 PM
i911.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-11 07:29:00 PM
Winston Churchill!
 
2012-12-11 07:35:31 PM

punkhippie: The AA model does not apply to anyone, as it is built entirely on made-up bullshiat. Alcohol addiction is real enough, it just has nothing to do with diseases, powerlessness, higher powers or any of that crap.


Bullshiat. As someone in a 12-step program, they do work if you want them to work.
 
2012-12-11 07:39:24 PM

JustLookin: So if I have six or more drinks once a week, do I answer "Monthly" or "Two to three times a week?" It's neither, you farking jackbags!


If you're having six or more once a week, the answer is yes.
 
2012-12-11 07:43:23 PM
15. Probably would've been lower before I started dating a Farkette. I've heard so much BS about alcoholism to know that I ain't it, but people like to be judgey.
 
2012-12-11 07:53:45 PM

moops: Bullshiat. As someone in a 12-step program, they do work if you want them to work.


Question: Is it true that AA isn't technically Christian and you can believe in any "higher power," or do they say that up front but then bully you into becoming Christian?

That whole aspect of it has given me a really negative opinion toward AA, but I've never done it so I'm not truly sure if my opinion is warranted or not.
 
2012-12-11 07:54:00 PM
Garbage quiz. I sit at home by myself every night and drink until I pass out, but I only scored a 10.

I have no friends, family, obligations, or remorse about drinking. At some point I'm too drunk to get up and pour another, so I just go to bed instead of blacking out or getting hurt from it. Self-control has never been a problem - I just stop when I want to get up early the next day.

I'm certainly more than an "almost-alcoholic"... I guess I just don't really have a drinking problem.
 
2012-12-11 07:58:29 PM
I got a 12, i think mainly due to the bender i went on just after i got fired...
 
2012-12-11 08:00:34 PM

RealAmericanHero: moops: Bullshiat. As someone in a 12-step program, they do work if you want them to work.

Question: Is it true that AA isn't technically Christian and you can believe in any "higher power," or do they say that up front but then bully you into becoming Christian?

That whole aspect of it has given me a really negative opinion toward AA, but I've never done it so I'm not truly sure if my opinion is warranted or not.


We tell each other that we can believe in a higher power 'whatever you believe that higher power to be'. My group has no born agains or bible thumpers. But each group is different.

Sidebar: I'm not in a 12-step program for addiction or alcoholisn, rather I'm from a family of alcoholics and people with addiction issues.
 
2012-12-11 08:09:15 PM

Sid_6.7: Uchiha_Cycliste: that's a familiar score and attitude.

My background: I'm Scotch-Irish, Welsh, Flemish, and German.

I'm pretty much bred genetically to be a drinking god. A few beers does nothing unless it's on an empty stomach. Hell, getting wasted on beer is actually kind of hard.


beer in excess of 8% helps. maybe 2 22oz and you'll at least feel it a little.
 
2012-12-11 08:10:16 PM
'

trivial use of my dark powers: By 'taking action' I assume he means drink more to achieve that alcoholism. No one likes a quitter.


As they say; "'Almost' is only good enough in horseshoes and hand grenades."
 
2012-12-11 08:10:52 PM

screwzloos: Garbage quiz. I sit at home by myself every night and drink until I pass out, but I only scored a 10.

I have no friends, family, obligations, or remorse about drinking. At some point I'm too drunk to get up and pour another, so I just go to bed instead of blacking out or getting hurt from it. Self-control has never been a problem - I just stop when I want to get up early the next day.

I'm certainly more than an "almost-alcoholic"... I guess I just don't really have a drinking problem.


you, friend... you're a drunk. =D
 
2012-12-11 08:22:07 PM
This thread made me throw my last shot of whiskey into a glass for sipping
 
2012-12-11 08:22:38 PM
Dr. Doyle suggests, "If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

How about we just legalize weed instead?
 
2012-12-11 08:24:58 PM
3 for me but it might have something to do with not having any money? I buy a bottle of wine once a week. Haven't had any hard liquor since my state voted to take it out of state control. It's too expensive now. The state made sure they got their share of pie one way or the other!
 
2012-12-11 08:39:48 PM

H31N0US: In other news you have to be a pretty farked up case to be considered an alcoholic according to that test.


Yeah, that was a far too forgiving test to be realistic in any way. I was completely honest, and got "social drinker", and even I think I'm a drunk.
 
2012-12-11 08:45:18 PM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: 15. Probably would've been lower before I started dating a Farkette. I've heard so much BS about alcoholism to know that I ain't it, but people like to be judgey.


There was an amendment put up before any of us farkers were ever born to draw the line on our shennanigans. That said, now that two states told the Feds to go to hell on weed (I smoke nothing at all) perhaps there will be less drinking and driving during all our recreational activities and this farker is going to make a killing delivering Little Debbie snacks now that Hostess is gone.

/brother's gotta get paid ya know.
//feed the masses.
 
2012-12-11 08:45:25 PM

born_yesterday: H31N0US: In other news you have to be a pretty farked up case to be considered an alcoholic according to that test.

Yeah, that was a far too forgiving test to be realistic in any way. I was completely honest, and got "social drinker", and even I think I'm a drunk.


Which is weird, because, aside from the last couple of months, I am NOT a big drinker, and even now, my alcoholic friends would scoff at how much is too much for me, and somehow I got a twelve...
 
2012-12-11 08:46:30 PM
6 for me, but I think I should drink less during the week. Even 1-2 drinks makes me hungover enough that I don't want to get out of bed in the AM. Also, I'm a lightweight so no way could I even achieve what they are calling "gray area" w/o ending up in the hospital.
 
2012-12-11 08:54:47 PM

cefm: A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.


No kidding, I answered that question truthfully because my wife thinks I drink too much if I have a beer. Scored 7.
 
2012-12-11 08:59:53 PM

had98c: I got a 1. And I'm not even Mormon!


Maybe you should consider it. ;)
 
2012-12-11 09:02:13 PM
Scored 18, and I work in a farkin' brewery. Limitless, free, beer.

So yeah, this test is flawed.
/also drinking a beer right now
//cheers to the Almost-Farkers
 
2012-12-11 09:14:24 PM
seems like this test focuses a lot more on the potential social risks of heavy use than the health risks of drinking, say, 6 drinks per day.
 
2012-12-11 09:24:00 PM

antidisestablishmentarianism: I scored a 12. I thought it would be much worse.


There was a quiz? I guess I'm worse off than I realized.

I'm farked.
 
2012-12-11 09:25:25 PM

Nightshade50: Wait since alcoholism is considered a disease, you either have it or don't. There's no such thing as a almost disease. Is there?

/right?


I almost had the clap once.
 
2012-12-11 09:26:33 PM
They had some doctor in the paper a few days ago who is a head honcho in public health in Australia. He came right out and said they want to do to alchohol what they did to cigarrettes.

Therefore, fark public health officials, they are our enemy.
 
2012-12-11 09:27:25 PM
15
In the middle here on fark I guess.
Soon to be 1 if I don't find a new job.
 
2012-12-11 09:28:55 PM
6...cool that means I can drink more and not feel guilty.
 
2012-12-11 09:31:00 PM

Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.


Relatives of loved ones killed by drunk drivers might want to weigh in on this one, too.

Also, participants in wedding receptions and other such important functions ruined by drunks.

And the spouses of non-violent alcoholics will probably tell you that having a husband or wife who falls asleep every night at 8 PM after consuming the day's allotment of boxed wine isn't a fun way to go through life.
 
2012-12-11 09:36:39 PM

Girion47: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

LOL it's obvious you've never been married.


I'm betting on sarcasm.
 
2012-12-11 09:42:44 PM
Okay, I found the quiz. I answered honestly and only scored a 27. That's actually somewhat encouraging.
 
2012-12-11 09:44:06 PM
Didn't read all the comments, but thank everything they didn't take the size of a wine glass into account. Muahahahaha!

/I'm fine, seriously!! I live you so much right now.
 
2012-12-11 09:47:43 PM
I don't drink, but I totally respect anyone who can pound them back and still function.
 
2012-12-11 10:26:07 PM
"If you're having four beers on Friday night, see how you do with two beers."

2 BEERS!!, What am I 6 years old still?!!
 
2012-12-11 10:28:30 PM
I refuse to click the link. Do I have a problem?

/rummy
 
2012-12-11 10:30:35 PM
Scored a 9, almost alcoholic range...........Wow! barely qualified for Fark.
 
2012-12-11 10:34:46 PM
27... given how much I've been drinking, getting into "alcoholic" range must require some really amazing conduct
 
2012-12-11 10:44:00 PM
I was doing great until I realized I was drinking seltzer and not miller lite. FML.
 
2012-12-11 10:45:37 PM

RealAmericanHero: 27... given how much I've been drinking, getting into "alcoholic" range must require some really amazing conduct


it's really not that hard. you just have to give it your all every night with or without drinking buddies...
 
2012-12-11 10:46:35 PM

RealAmericanHero: 27... given how much I've been drinking, getting into "alcoholic" range must require some really amazing conduct


Same score as me! Cheers!
 
2012-12-11 10:49:44 PM

breakfast_in_bedlam: 17. I work in the wine and spirits industry. This test is b.s. because, frankly, I worry about all the booze I consume.

/Drinking Pinot Noir while writing this.
//At work.


Hate! Hate you!! Hate you soooo much!!
 
2012-12-11 11:02:08 PM
16

I really thought it would be higher. I have wine with dinner most nights. And Sun and Wed are $2 pints, I end up having 8-10.
 
2012-12-11 11:16:39 PM

robbiex0r: 14

*shrug*


Me to! A round of shrugs for everyone!
 
2012-12-11 11:30:03 PM

Ego edo infantia cattus: robbiex0r: 14

*shrug*

Me to! A round of shrugs for everyone!


.
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-11 11:30:27 PM

JustLookin: FTFQ:

3. How often do you have six or more drinks on one occasion?

Never
Less than once a month
Monthly
Two to three times a week
Four or more times a week

So if I have six or more drinks once a week, do I answer "Monthly" or "Two to three times a week?" It's neither, you farking jackbags!



Yeah, Had the same problem. They should also measure it in something more concrete, like pints or fifths. Who the hell measures out shots when they mix a drink? Do i get extra points for drinking from the bottle? ... and who the hell built my stairs so crooked?
 
2012-12-11 11:50:06 PM
Doctor Doyle believes millions who become addicted pass through the "almost alcoholic" phase, and he thinks a lot can stop the problem there. Dr. Doyle shares, "We're not trying to put labels on people. In fact, we're trying to prevent people from getting the label of a very serious condition."

LOL
 
2012-12-11 11:52:51 PM
amquelbettamin:
[24.media.tumblr.com image 300x429]

Awesome, I almost posted that pic. still makes me laugh every time i see it. :)

/great minds. etc.
 
2012-12-11 11:55:50 PM
0-8 = normal social drinking

So THERE Mr. Monday Morning Quarterback, Mr. Wheelchair General.

/surprised it wasn't higher
//pothead
 
2012-12-11 11:55:52 PM
So what's the standard deduction for being born and raised in Wisconsin?
 
2012-12-11 11:56:50 PM

theotherwhitemeat: I'm a functioning alcoholic and I know it. Only a handful of people know. I scored a 27 so I feel I still got a little time!!


Try this. If you are by the end of work already craving that first drink and starting to feel that little bit of anxiety, around 6 pm take 4 Benadryl instead. Just be prepared to go to bed by 9. Mellows you right out. Try it first on a Friday night so you don't have to work the next day. DO NOT drink anything that night. If this works and causes calm without the booze try 3 on a weeknight.
 
2012-12-12 12:00:59 AM

brandent: theotherwhitemeat: I'm a functioning alcoholic and I know it. Only a handful of people know. I scored a 27 so I feel I still got a little time!!

Try this. If you are by the end of work already craving that first drink and starting to feel that little bit of anxiety, around 6 pm take 4 Benadryl instead. Just be prepared to go to bed by 9. Mellows you right out. Try it first on a Friday night so you don't have to work the next day. DO NOT drink anything that night. If this works and causes calm without the booze try 3 on a weeknight.


wtf? Hey, you're an alcoholic? Why don't you take some drugs instead. I don't care that Benadryl isn't really a hard drug, but I'm sure taking 4 of them at a time is a bad idea and it's definitely a bad idea to take them recreationally.

Why don't you go DIAF?
 
2012-12-12 12:03:32 AM

brandent: around 6 pm take 4 Benadryl instead.


Man just half of one knocks the fark out and I can't get up for shiat the next day. If you're taking 4, then you've got a serious substance abuse problem in the first place.

Yeah. I'll bet you didn't want to hear that.
 
2012-12-12 12:04:32 AM
Are you shiatting yourself whilst drunk?

Y - Slow down.
N - Your fine.
 
2012-12-12 12:43:53 AM
There's no such thing as an "alcoholic". No one HAS to have alcohol.
 
2012-12-12 12:50:37 AM

Buffet: There's no such thing as an "alcoholic". No one HAS to have alcohol.


People can die going cold turkey on alcohol.
 
2012-12-12 01:04:23 AM
I would pay the $5 a month if I wasn't paying for diapers for my toddler and newborn... Hi guys missed ya all
 
2012-12-12 01:06:52 AM
Every alcoholic, as he is sitting in his car at 5:30 AM, waiting for the convenience store to open at 6 so he can buy more beer, all the while trembling from withdrawal, tells himself "I'll quit when my drinking gets to be a problem".

/lived that life
 
2012-12-12 04:34:21 AM

zzrhardy: Are you shiatting yourself whilst drunk?

Y - Slow down.
N - Your fine.


You can get fined for not shiatting yourself while drunk ?
 
2012-12-12 05:56:22 AM

zzrhardy: Buffet: There's no such thing as an "alcoholic". No one HAS to have alcohol.

People can die going cold turkey on alcohol.


I see you're Australian. You probably know what you're talking about.
 
2012-12-12 07:01:31 AM
It seems as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, and can live up to your responsibilities, you are free to have 7-9 drinks a day, every day of the week, and only score an 11. What the hell kind of test is this?
 
2012-12-12 08:22:23 AM

cefm: A couple of bullshiat questions in there.

#7 How often have you felt guilt or remorse after drinking?
The question does not define a causal relationship - you could well be feeling guilt or remorse for something that has no connection to alcohol at all. Should rephrase to "guilt or remorse for something caused by or influenced by your drinking"

#10 - Has a relative or friend or coworker or a doctor expressed concern over your drinking?
The doctor part is OK, but the other 3 may have screwed up subjective views on drinking or on you - so the question itself leads to possibly inaccurate answers.




The question "Has anyone ever commented on how much you drink" is one of the best ways to make someone answer honestly in a doctor/patient scenario. It lurches into a conversation that gets to the truth far quicker than "How much do you drink" and the like.

It's in the training of any basic preventative medicine training course of GPs.
 
2012-12-12 09:23:59 AM
Do, or do not, there is no try...

11.

Do not. Well, I'll work on it.
 
2012-12-12 09:29:13 AM

flyinglizard: Girion47: Jon iz teh kewl: Citrate1007: Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed

Neglected children beg to differ.

why are you drinking if your married?

if i get married i'm never drinking again because i'd be honestly happy

LOL it's obvious you've never been married.

I'm betting on sarcasm.


i bet on gay
 
2012-12-12 09:29:34 AM

Balchinian: It seems as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, and can live up to your responsibilities, you are free to have 7-9 drinks a day, every day of the week, and only score an 11. What the hell kind of test is this?


Sssshhhhhh! Hush you, it makes me feel better about myself ;)

/11
 
2012-12-12 09:45:13 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: alcoholism is only a problem if the user is violent
case closed


you're an idiot
 
2012-12-12 09:56:03 AM

Happy Hours: brandent: theotherwhitemeat: I'm a functioning alcoholic and I know it. Only a handful of people know. I scored a 27 so I feel I still got a little time!!

Try this. If you are by the end of work already craving that first drink and starting to feel that little bit of anxiety, around 6 pm take 4 Benadryl instead. Just be prepared to go to bed by 9. Mellows you right out. Try it first on a Friday night so you don't have to work the next day. DO NOT drink anything that night. If this works and causes calm without the booze try 3 on a weeknight.

wtf? Hey, you're an alcoholic? Why don't you take some drugs instead. I don't care that Benadryl isn't really a hard drug, but I'm sure taking 4 of them at a time is a bad idea and it's definitely a bad idea to take them recreationally.

Why don't you go DIAF?


Perhaps you should just keep drinking yourself to death then. I'm sure that's an excellent idea too. After all I'm sure it's an excellent idea to drink that much recreationally.
 
2012-12-12 10:22:08 AM

Pumpernickel bread: Every alcoholic, as he is sitting in his car at 5:30 AM, waiting for the convenience store to open at 6 so he can buy more beer, all the while trembling from withdrawal, tells himself "I'll quit when my drinking gets to be a problem".

/lived that life


Don't they have 7/11's where you live?
 
2012-12-12 10:52:10 AM
I only drink to kill the pain. So. Much. Pain.
 
2012-12-12 11:03:10 AM

EnderX: Pumpernickel bread: Every alcoholic, as he is sitting in his car at 5:30 AM, waiting for the convenience store to open at 6 so he can buy more beer, all the while trembling from withdrawal, tells himself "I'll quit when my drinking gets to be a problem".

/lived that life

Don't they have 7/11's where you live?


Nope, there's just the two of us.
*ba-DUM-tsssh*
 
2012-12-12 11:01:49 PM
If you children would just stop crying.....
 
2012-12-13 01:09:03 AM

Balchinian: It seems as long as you don't hurt yourself or anyone else, and can live up to your responsibilities, you are free to have 7-9 drinks a day, every day of the week, and only score an 11. What the hell kind of test is this?


Oh. That's why I got an eleven.

See, I've got troubles with being irresponsible. Guess I'll never improve my score.
 
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