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(Uproxx)   Nic Cage as every character in The Hobbit, just as the internet demanded   (uproxx.com) divider line 45
    More: Amusing, bottle cage, The Hobbit, hobbits  
•       •       •

8299 clicks; posted to Geek » on 11 Dec 2012 at 12:27 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2012-12-11 12:26:45 PM  
Talk about nightmare fuel.

"Can't sleep, Cage will eat me."
 
2012-12-11 12:30:48 PM  

FinFangFark: Talk about nightmare fuel.

"Can't sleep, Cage will eat me."


Well now I have that to think about, thank you...
 
2012-12-11 12:30:59 PM  
Why are these things so entertaining? Am I broken or is the world around me broken?
 
2012-12-11 12:34:27 PM  
Could only improve the film.
 
2012-12-11 12:35:05 PM  
Early reviews say the flick is a plodding piece of crap like everything else Jackson's done
 
2012-12-11 12:39:45 PM  
The Cage goes ever, ever on...
 
2012-12-11 12:44:46 PM  
cdn.fd.uproxx.com

Say it in his voice. It's more fun.
 
2012-12-11 12:48:05 PM  

Insatiable Jesus: Could only improve the film.


moothemagiccow: Early reviews say the flick is a plodding piece of crap like everything else Jackson's done


Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.
 
2012-12-11 12:50:47 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it?


I guess some people comment for the sole purpose of being heard.
 
2012-12-11 12:54:18 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Insatiable Jesus: Could only improve the film.

moothemagiccow: Early reviews say the flick is a plodding piece of crap like everything else Jackson's done

Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.


www.makingof.com
 
2012-12-11 12:54:53 PM  

zarberg: [cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 344x480]

Say it in his voice. It's more fun.


"I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, boy..."

/That movie had some bad lines that only he could deliver.
 
2012-12-11 12:55:23 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Insatiable Jesus: Could only improve the film.

moothemagiccow: Early reviews say the flick is a plodding piece of crap like everything else Jackson's done

Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.


www.madmann.com
 
2012-12-11 01:01:09 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it?


Nothing better to do than warn you.

You're not going to make me enjoy it any less

Doesn't sound like it.

, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

This ain't theonering.net
 
2012-12-11 01:04:50 PM  

born_yesterday: zarberg: [cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 344x480]

Say it in his voice. It's more fun.

"I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, boy..."

/That movie had some bad lines that only he could deliver.


"What in the name of Zeus's BUTTHOLE ... "
"I'm not a Beetles freak, I'm a Beetles SUPERFREAK."
 
2012-12-11 01:09:20 PM  
One of the funniest movies ever made:
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-11 01:11:14 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.


I was looking forward to one hobbit movie but I have no idea how they're going to fill 9 hours of screentime and keep it interesting.
 
2012-12-11 01:12:25 PM  
I would watch that movie.

The only thing Nick Cage manages to ruin are movies with Nick Cage... oh wait...
 
2012-12-11 01:17:20 PM  
Terrible writing made into unbearably long movies.
 
2012-12-11 01:17:36 PM  
Why do all the dwarves' names have to rhyme with 'groin'?
 
2012-12-11 01:23:51 PM  

born_yesterday: zarberg: [cdn.fd.uproxx.com image 344x480]

Say it in his voice. It's more fun.

"I'd take pleasure in guttin' you, boy..."

/That movie had some bad lines that only he could deliver.


The Rock has the best line in movie history with a perfect delivery, followed by the dumbest retort in movie history*.

John Mason: Your "best"!?!? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fark the prom queen.
Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.


*Any line delivered by Keanu Reeves is, by virtue of the actor speaking it, automatically the dumbest retort in movie history. For the purposes of this post, I am excluding the entirety of Reeves' collected works and only discussing the rest of movie history.
 
2012-12-11 01:28:37 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-11 01:33:24 PM  
I just realized I would go to a one man show where Nick Cage plays 20 people on stage. Something in the vein of the Christmas Carol that Stewart did.
 
2012-12-11 01:35:41 PM  

Saiga410: I just realized I would go to a one man show where Nick Cage plays 20 people on stage. Something in the vein of the Christmas Carol that Stewart did.


Better yet, a play that Cage as personally written and directed about how Nicholas Cage has begun to lose his sense of self and reality due to all the roles he's played over the years.
 
2012-12-11 01:38:48 PM  
Nic Cage in: A Tuna Christmas
 
2012-12-11 01:39:00 PM  

Girion47: HMS_Blinkin: Insatiable Jesus: Could only improve the film.

moothemagiccow: Early reviews say the flick is a plodding piece of crap like everything else Jackson's done

Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.

[www.madmann.com image 413x413]


I've always thought that girl has an amazing rack.
 
2012-12-11 01:43:34 PM  

djkutch: Girion47: HMS_Blinkin: Insatiable Jesus: Could only improve the film.

moothemagiccow: Early reviews say the flick is a plodding piece of crap like everything else Jackson's done

Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.

[www.madmann.com image 413x413]

I've always thought that girl has an amazing rack.


I agree.
l3.yimg.com
 
2012-12-11 01:56:41 PM  
Ha! They stole my photoshop "starfish" one.
 
2012-12-11 02:06:52 PM  

you have pee hands: HMS_Blinkin: Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.

I was looking forward to one hobbit movie but I have no idea how they're going to fill 9 hours of screentime and keep it interesting.


What Game of Thrones did : tits.
 
2012-12-11 02:12:10 PM  

roc6783:

*Any line delivered by Keanu Reeves is, by virtue of the actor speaking it, automatically the dumbest retort in movie history. For the purposes of this post, I am excluding the entirety of Reeves' collected works and only discussing the rest of movie history.


teamfisticuffs.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-11 02:14:29 PM  
Was looking good up until Ori. Holy crap that guy has 9 feet of face. I imagine by that point the artist was like, "fark this I'm done."
 
2012-12-11 02:38:31 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Insatiable Jesus: Could only improve the film.

moothemagiccow: Early reviews say the flick is a plodding piece of crap like everything else Jackson's done

Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.


Please teach me your time saving ways!
 
2012-12-11 02:38:53 PM  

you have pee hands: HMS_Blinkin: Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.

I was looking forward to one hobbit movie but I have no idea how they're going to fill 9 hours of screentime and keep it interesting.


The Hobbit will really only be the first two movies. The third one will be the stuff that happened after The Hobbit but before Lord of the Rings.
 
2012-12-11 02:46:27 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: you have pee hands: HMS_Blinkin: Why do you guys even waste time commenting in these threads if you have already made up your minds that you hate it? You're not going to make me enjoy it any less, and you'd save yourself a lot of time if you just ignored it. I don't go to websites about mindless romantic comedies or teen-werewolf drivel and criticize those things, because my time is more valuable than that.

At this point, I just have to assume that neither of you actually have any excitement or happiness in your own lives.

I was looking forward to one hobbit movie but I have no idea how they're going to fill 9 hours of screentime and keep it interesting.

The Hobbit will really only be the first two movies. The third one will be the stuff that happened after The Hobbit but before Lord of the Rings.


...prom?
 
2012-12-11 03:02:54 PM  
I can't wait for some Silmarillion movies.

Beren & Luthien
Theft of the Silmarils
Chaining of Melchior
Fall of Numenor.
 
2012-12-11 03:11:04 PM  

Girion47: Fall of Numenor.


Took a little tumble off the cliff?
 
2012-12-11 03:19:52 PM  
stupid and why? why would you even waste your time doing that?
 
2012-12-11 03:43:29 PM  

Girion47: Chaining of Melchior


I think you've got your holy scriptures mixed up.

Melkor is the bad dude in the Aïnulindalé.

Melchior is a wizard in the Bible.
 
2012-12-11 03:46:34 PM  

Flab: Girion47: Chaining of Melchior

I think you've got your holy scriptures mixed up.

Melkor is the bad dude in the Aïnulindalé.

Melchior is a wizard in the Bible.


cdn.wikimg.net
 
2012-12-11 03:52:59 PM  

guestguy: Flab: Girion47: Chaining of Melchior

I think you've got your holy scriptures mixed up.

Melkor is the bad dude in the Aïnulindalé.

Melchior is a wizard in the Bible.

[cdn.wikimg.net image 88x120]


and that's the swordsmith from Chrono Trigger.
 
2012-12-11 04:29:07 PM  

scottydoesntknow: roc6783:

*Any line delivered by Keanu Reeves is, by virtue of the actor speaking it, automatically the dumbest retort in movie history. For the purposes of this post, I am excluding the entirety of Reeves' collected works and only discussing the rest of movie history.

[teamfisticuffs.files.wordpress.com image 313x233]


Whoa indeed, Keanu, whoa indeed.
 
2012-12-11 06:51:51 PM  

FinFangFark: Talk about nightmare fuel.

"Can't sleep, Cage will eat me."


i1126.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-11 07:29:52 PM  

Girion47: I can't wait for some Silmarillion movies.

Beren & Luthien
Theft of the Silmarils
Chaining of Melchior
Fall of Numenor.


I would go see that, even though I, admittedly, have never made it all the way through the Silmarillion. Of course, I've also already got my ticket for the midnight showing of The Hobbit (I'm stopping at home after my exam only to grab a couple snacks and walk my dog after my final on Thursday then straight to the theater. I'm psyched for this movie) and would have bought it the first day they were available, but I didn't have my final exam schedule yet. So, perhaps I'm not the first person they will ask when they're trying to figure out if the general public would watch such a movie. I'd also like to see Children of Hurin as a movie.

/My login probably also gives a bit of a hint about some of my excitement and nerdiness.
//Going to try the 3D and hope I don't get ill (I managed Hubble and Beauty and the Beast, but not Avatar)
///Either way I'm going to see it in 2D with my boyfriend over break, and I'll probably see it with my family, too
 
2012-12-11 08:08:32 PM  
Had to do it...I wonder if anyone will notice???

Link

/yes, kinda self-plugish
//you'll get over it
 
2012-12-11 11:47:44 PM  

Koalacaust: [i.imgur.com image 503x976]


Miranda Otto was hot as fark in LOTR.
 
2012-12-12 02:25:42 AM  

Luthien's Tempest: Girion47: I can't wait for some Silmarillion movies.

Beren & Luthien
Theft of the Silmarils
Chaining of Melchior
Fall of Numenor.

I would go see that, even though I, admittedly, have never made it all the way through the Silmarillion. Of course, I've also already got my ticket for the midnight showing of The Hobbit (I'm stopping at home after my exam only to grab a couple snacks and walk my dog after my final on Thursday then straight to the theater. I'm psyched for this movie) and would have bought it the first day they were available, but I didn't have my final exam schedule yet. So, perhaps I'm not the first person they will ask when they're trying to figure out if the general public would watch such a movie. I'd also like to see Children of Hurin as a movie.

/My login probably also gives a bit of a hint about some of my excitement and nerdiness.
//Going to try the 3D and hope I don't get ill (I managed Hubble and Beauty and the Beast, but not Avatar)
///Either way I'm going to see it in 2D with my boyfriend over break, and I'll probably see it with my family, too


What, no Tale of Turin Turambar? No Siege of Angband? No War of the Last Alliance?
 
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