Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Record)   Condom company changes "normal" to "jumbo" for small Aussies   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

5750 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2001 at 10:08 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

62 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2001-11-22 10:13:36 AM  
I've always wanted to visit Australia. From pictures I have seen it seems like a wonderful and beautiful country.

Too bad it's filled with all those farkin' Australians.
2001-11-22 10:15:08 AM  
Dictionary changes 'floppy' to 'rigid' for impotent men.

Inadequate sexual performance remains the same.
2001-11-22 10:16:13 AM  
marq, you're really asking for it...

Wouldn't want to be you...
2001-11-22 10:21:47 AM  
American men would do the same thing. I guess this just proves that it's all in the mind.

Can we get a weeners tag on this article, please?
2001-11-22 10:28:54 AM  
If you were in arms reach you'd be in all sorts of bother. You hungry? I'll give you a taste of it sunshine.

Nice photo! Tell your mother to stop screwing donkeys.
2001-11-22 10:35:36 AM  
I have a big thick one.
2001-11-22 10:49:03 AM  
Marq pretty naive statement however Brisvegas I have always been told it takes a "donkey screwer to know a donkey screwer". Give Marq a break he needs a girlfriend. Check out his "website" He can't even buy pussy on the street. He needs a plastic one.
2001-11-22 10:59:59 AM  
I'm not a writer but I could work for that website. Like 2 friggin lines is an article.
2001-11-22 11:00:34 AM  
Similar thing in Germany. Unwanted pregnancies were occuring because standard American condoms were too large for their Wehrmacht units. President Rau said, "The terrorists hast alredy vwon."
2001-11-22 11:07:06 AM  
And we're supposed to even believe this why?

No references, company names, pics etc are given.

I'm sure I've heard an urban legend, or just a stand-up's joke, that was identical to this (aimed toward any country supposedly known for its macho virile men).
2001-11-22 11:09:11 AM  
That says a lot about Aussies.
2001-11-22 11:12:32 AM  
Marq: You are one ugly muthafrkka... I'm surprised you haven't burnt that picture let alone put it on your profile...

Oh yeah, go and die somewhere
2001-11-22 11:13:26 AM  
And i am aware that i'm english, but i've been to australia and it's a crackin' place... and so are the people
2001-11-22 11:15:46 AM  
Nothing against aussies myself - without them how would I get a pint of an evening? - but WOAH there are some touchy people today! lighten up lads!
2001-11-22 11:23:09 AM  
Brisvegas_boy : "I'll give you a taste of it sunshine."

What is that, some sort of gay code?
2001-11-22 11:28:47 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-11-22 11:40:11 AM  
Watch your mouth Marg.... I am a Aussie .. don't judge people unless you have been there and met aussies on their home soil before you go mouthing off... or as in aussie we say...."your head will be sticking outta yer ass like dogs balls"
2001-11-22 11:43:26 AM  
Meshman - its says a lot about men, and if there were something similer for women it would be the same
2001-11-22 11:54:28 AM  
well when i go home in two weeks i'll let u all know.
2001-11-22 11:56:03 AM  
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Aussies and their tiny little weenies.
2001-11-22 12:04:42 PM  
He had an itsy bitsy teeny weeny scrawny little aussie weeny....farking Austrailians
2001-11-22 12:04:53 PM  
Sheralee: "your head will be sticking outta yer ass like dogs balls"

What is with you Aussies and these farked up idioms? Does that mean you all have dogs balls stuffed in your asses? Let's hope the tourism board doesn't let that one out.
2001-11-22 12:11:54 PM  
The_marq: whatever. when u are there, just don't get bitten by a yellow belly black snake or stung by a box jellyfish. they'll kill ya, ya know.
2001-11-22 12:22:43 PM  
Condom Resize Chart(tm).

Normal -> Jumbo
Large -> Holy Farkin' Shiat
Jumbo -> The Mutilator

I don't know what kangaroos and dingos care about penis size anyway. (apologies)

2001-11-22 12:23:48 PM  
I love the smell of testosterone in the morning!
2001-11-22 12:24:05 PM  
I really apologize for the kangaroo thing. Remember, The_marq is the REAL troll in this thread.
2001-11-22 12:25:35 PM  
A friend of mine went to go visit his girlfriend in Japan. Poor bastard couldn't find any condoms that fit well. Apparently it was an amusing thing, him trying to ask shopkeepers for the largest condom they had, when his grasp on Japanese wasn't too good.
2001-11-22 12:47:51 PM  
How can you fault Austrailians when they have sayings like that?

2001-11-22 12:47:53 PM  
What's a condom?
2001-11-22 01:04:11 PM  
what do australians do when they want to experience culture?

open up a pot of yoghurt.
2001-11-22 01:05:00 PM  
PeeNut: Don't worry, your parents didn't know this either. It's this magical hat you put on your wanker before you play the hot beef injection game.
2001-11-22 01:08:45 PM  
Men come in all different sizes...but I have heard alot of stories about the condoms that are here are to small...maybe we import them from Japan...Who knows?
2001-11-22 01:40:11 PM  
I have bought the regular and large sizes and they both fit fine, serously its all pretty much 1 size fits all.
2001-11-22 01:55:05 PM  
I've worn one condom that was way too small and I had to take off because the physical pain was becoming too much to bear...I'm fairly sure it was a novelty condom.

The rest I've worn, all different brands and sizes, have pretty much fit the same. Even the "Magnums" have just a tiny diameter adjustment and are a few inches longer. Latex stretches. Like FortunesFool says, they're all pretty much one size.
2001-11-22 02:56:54 PM  
Jumbo: Australian for small.
2001-11-22 03:01:24 PM  
This may sound strange... but in a demonstration I attended once, I witnessed a man put a condom (labelled SMALL) on his head. Then he proceeded to blow it up until it shot off his head.

Needless to say, we were mightily impressed. Though his hair was all messed up with the spermicide. We weren't so impressed with that.
2001-11-22 03:20:59 PM  
Dang whats with all the hate. Its a funny article.

BTW the biggest member I've ever seen was on an aussie, not that i matters.
2001-11-22 03:21:25 PM  
"I'd like to show you a white-eared elephant...(pulls pockets inside out)...of course, it's only a baby one...but the first 3 rows will have to stand back a bit".

Sorry, I've been on know, the LITE one.
2001-11-22 03:24:09 PM  

Not entirely off-topic:

The Kilt Song

2001-11-22 03:26:44 PM  

Aussies have little pricks
doo dah doo dah
2001-11-22 03:44:59 PM  
aussie is great, i've been there for 3 months with my girlfriend. right now i'm in holland, but i'm planning to go back asap ;D
trust me, it really is a great country ( well.. all i've seen is Sydney )
2001-11-22 03:51:44 PM  
Does it really matter? As long as you got a tongue and know how to use it...
2001-11-22 04:05:30 PM  
Found a site. It was EU regulation condoms that were too large.
Whoops goes the boobie!
(that's me)
2001-11-22 05:05:33 PM  
Saton : You're a farkwit.

Don't they say that the bigger the car, the smaller the prick?

You dont see too many monster trucks in Sydney eh?
Yankee farkwits who think the world revolves around them. Get a grip dickheads
2001-11-22 05:06:45 PM  
and also. . .
it comes from a UK site and they're all just pissed off at us Aussies because all their sporting teams are shiat.

Stinky Brits - go have a wash.
2001-11-22 05:25:08 PM  
Aussies have little pricks
doo dah doo dah
Oystaman has no dick
oh doo dah day

thanks for the 2nd verse
2001-11-22 05:51:17 PM  

Do you know why scotch men wear kilts?

A sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away!
2001-11-22 06:09:38 PM  
Oi ! Stop baggin' the Aussies! We rawk!

[image from too old to be available]
2001-11-22 06:23:25 PM  
Drifter is right.. Leave the Aussies alone..
After all they brought
hold on I am
oh yeah outback steak house and the annoying croc hunter.
2001-11-22 06:24:51 PM  
w00t! Ego-correct condoms! I'm surprised this hasn't happened in the USA!!
Displayed 50 of 62 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.