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(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)   Unarmed father defends family from home invaders. "We got guns." "I got a newborn"   (tampabay.com) divider line 30
    More: Hero, St. Petersburg, Pinellas Park  
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18993 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Dec 2012 at 11:49 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-11 10:04:54 AM
7 votes:
"We got guns." "I got a newborn." "We have a Hulk."
2012-12-11 12:11:23 PM
6 votes:
Obviously he just never finished the sentence.

"I've got a newborn... please just shoot me."
2012-12-11 10:39:55 AM
6 votes:
"We got guns."

"I got a newborn."

blog.cleveland.com

Don't underestimate the utility of a baby in self-defense situations.
2012-12-11 09:55:44 AM
5 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: I fear babies more than I fear guns....


Guns make take your life, but babies will take --- YOUR FREEDOM!!
2012-12-11 08:38:30 AM
5 votes:
Pepe wandered outside and sniffed nervously at a fierce-looking police dog. 
 
And didn't get shot.  Kudos.
2012-12-11 09:11:26 AM
4 votes:
"...an unfamiliar person at the foot of his bed, flashing gold teeth and white eyes that in the darkness seemed to float, as though unattached to a human face."

This is what happens when reporters try prose.
2012-12-11 08:43:48 AM
4 votes:
Hopefully Reed and Soto get married so the little girl can grow up in a stable home with a loving mother and father and not in a broken home where she'll eventually find her way into trouble and a violent life of gangs and crime.
2012-12-11 09:49:21 AM
3 votes:
Soto said he had told her that he expected to one day be tested as a father. But not so soon after the birth of their first child.

"He did good," she said. "He protected the family."


Looks like steak and BJ day is gonna come early for this new dad
2012-12-11 12:36:34 PM
2 votes:
The first thing Reed recalls seeing was an unfamiliar person at the foot of his bed, flashing gold teeth and white eyes that in the darkness seemed to float, as though unattached to a human face. 


s3.amazonaws.com
2012-12-11 12:13:59 PM
2 votes:
We got guns.

He should've told them "I have a Donk "
2012-12-11 12:10:03 PM
2 votes:
A bang - they would later learn their front door had been smashed off its lock - woke them. The first thing Reed recalls seeing was an unfamiliar person at the foot of his bed, flashing gold teeth and white eyes that in the darkness seemed to float, as though unattached to a human face.

s3.amazonaws.com
2012-12-11 12:09:15 PM
2 votes:
I saw the photo, subby. The guy clearly has arms.
2012-12-11 12:02:01 PM
2 votes:
Well there goes the advice my Chicago grandfather gave me - "Never take a baby to a gunfight"
2012-12-11 11:57:12 AM
2 votes:
Reed leaped out of bed in boxer briefs. He is of medium height, but imposing, with pale blue eyes and tattoos that swarm up his arms and neck. Holding his arms in front of him like an offensive lineman, he plowed into the man closest to him.

For a second there I thought that story was about to go all romance novel.

/[weirdestboner.jpg]
2012-12-11 09:27:43 AM
2 votes:

BronyMedic: Coolfusis: fark you, the founding fathers died for my right to own a howitzer! How dare you disrespect them like that?!

DAMN YOU AND YOUR ARGUMENT ABOUT COOL ASS GUNS, SIR.

THE FOUNDING FATHERS ACTUALLY INTENDED FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO OWN A RYDER TRUCK, AND LARGE QUANTITIES OF ANNM WITHOUT QUESTION!

AND THEY DEMANDED THAT EVERYONE HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE BEAR ARMS!

[fc04.deviantart.net image 850x703]


I will not rest until every 2 year old has a bazooka to call his own.

TwoHead: Coolfusis: Is this that thread where we're supposed to argue whether or not people should have guns when this guy didn't need one?


/pro-gun
//within reason

If he'd had a couple of M18A1s trip wired to the front door those thugs would have never infiltrated the perimeter. Basic home protection every new father should have but since our Second Amendment rights have been trampled we have to defend our families hand to hand.


Which is why I use an infrared targeting system attached to a few motorized assault weapons to police my doorstep - just like Jesus.
2012-12-11 08:57:57 AM
2 votes:

Coolfusis: Is this that thread where we're supposed to argue whether or not people should have guns when this guy didn't need one?


/pro-gun
//within reason


If he'd had a couple of M18A1s trip wired to the front door those thugs would have never infiltrated the perimeter. Basic home protection every new father should have but since our Second Amendment rights have been trampled we have to defend our families hand to hand.
2012-12-11 08:52:34 AM
2 votes:

Coolfusis: fark you, the founding fathers died for my right to own a howitzer! How dare you disrespect them like that?!


DAMN YOU AND YOUR ARGUMENT ABOUT COOL ASS GUNS, SIR.

THE FOUNDING FATHERS ACTUALLY INTENDED FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO OWN A RYDER TRUCK, AND LARGE QUANTITIES OF ANNM WITHOUT QUESTION!

AND THEY DEMANDED THAT EVERYONE HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE BEAR ARMS!

fc04.deviantart.net
2012-12-11 08:48:06 AM
2 votes:
Reed, dazed and still in his underwear, toted the rifle around his yard as squad cars arrived. Pepe wandered outside and sniffed nervously at a fierce-looking police dog.

Good Lord, if he was black we'd be reading an entirely different story. Like: then, for reasons unknown, the homeowner ran out into the yard and pointed a high powered assault rifle at officers, who had no choice but to shoot him 141 times in the back.
2012-12-12 12:53:38 AM
1 votes:
Hopefully, Florida has a 44 strikes law.
2012-12-11 05:01:09 PM
1 votes:
"the first thing Reed recalls seeing was an unfamiliar person at the foot of his bed, flashing gold teeth and white eyes that in the darkness seemed to float, as though unattached to a human face."

2.bp.blogspot.com
"Go back to sleep"

My roomate used to live in south Florida. One night she saw some black dude on the utlity pole in front of her house trying to tap into her cable.
She called the cops and when they asked what the guy looks like she says "How the hell should I know? You tell me what a black guy on a pole at night looks like. All I see are two eyes and a smile."
2012-12-11 01:27:18 PM
1 votes:
So the lesson learned is, bring a newborn to a gun fight?
2012-12-11 12:58:47 PM
1 votes:

eeyore102: kronicfeld: "We got guns." "I got a newborn." "We have a Hulk."

[24.media.tumblr.com image 200x200]

They have a Cave Troll.


I don't remember a cave troll in Game of Thrones....
2012-12-11 12:22:38 PM
1 votes:

santadog: What annoys me is the news is written like a poor novel. "Reed and Soto were enjoying precious hours of slumber after an exhausting week filled with the duties of caring for a newborn. The family dog, a Chihuahua mix named Pepe, dozed alongside them."

"he first thing Reed recalls seeing was an unfamiliar person at the foot of his bed, flashing gold teeth and white eyes that in the darkness seemed to float, as though unattached to a human face."

Come on.. just report the news.

Oh wait.. Fark... alright.. I remember where I am now.


You're pinning this on Fark? Nobody here wrote that drivel.
2012-12-11 12:05:15 PM
1 votes:
I thought it was common knowledge NOT to bring a gun to a newborn fight

/or was it something else?
2012-12-11 11:57:09 AM
1 votes:
He's not unarmed if he's able to grab a gun two sentences later.
2012-12-11 11:55:24 AM
1 votes:

Lsherm: Reed, dazed and still in his underwear, toted the rifle around his yard as squad cars arrived. Pepe wandered outside and sniffed nervously at a fierce-looking police dog.

Good Lord, if he was black we'd be reading an entirely different story. Like: then, for reasons unknown, the homeowner ran out into the yard and pointed a high powered assault rifle at officers, who had no choice but to shoot him 141 times in the back.


probably not

It's "if he were black", by the way. If you'd spend less time race baiting and more time lernin' da English, you'd know that
2012-12-11 10:14:06 AM
1 votes:

kronicfeld: "We got guns." "I got a newborn." "We have a Hulk."


[like]
2012-12-11 09:44:51 AM
1 votes:
I fear babies more than I fear guns....
2012-12-11 08:50:37 AM
1 votes:

BronyMedic: Coolfusis: Is this that thread where we're supposed to argue whether or not people should have guns when this guy didn't need one?


/pro-gun
//within reason

No, it's where we get to hear arguments about how everyone should have the unrestricted right to own AK-75M16Mark4SOMOD3s With Laser Sights and 25mm Grenade Cannons slung under them. For no reason. Just cause. Maybe Obama will take away their rights, or something.

/pro-gun, as well.
//The idea/argument that a bunch of weekend hunters who have 30-06s are going to stop the US Military in modern times is silly.


fark you, the founding fathers died for my right to own a howitzer! How dare you disrespect them like that?!
2012-12-11 08:47:54 AM
1 votes:

Coolfusis: Is this that thread where we're supposed to argue whether or not people should have guns when this guy didn't need one?


/pro-gun
//within reason


No, it's where we get to hear arguments about how everyone should have the unrestricted right to own AK-75M16Mark4SOMOD3s With Laser Sights and 25mm Grenade Cannons slung under them. For no reason. Just cause. Maybe Obama will take away their rights, or something.

/pro-gun, as well.
//The idea/argument that a bunch of weekend hunters who have 30-06s are going to stop the US Military in modern times is silly.
 
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