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(Wisconsin Gazette)   Poll: Yes Virginia, Santa's probably a Democrat   (wisconsingazette.com) divider line 95
    More: Amusing, Santa Claus, Democrats, Public Policy Polling, Cupid  
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5712 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 5:58 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-10 06:39:10 PM  

Onkel Buck: mbillips: Smeggy Smurf: Santa doesn't want to murder babies, blow people up with drones or tax the shiat out of you. He can't be a liberal.

Blowing people up with drones is a bipartisan American tradition, like fireworks on July 4th.

Yah but your guy got a Nobel Peace Prize for doing it


Not true, he got it because "the international climate" suddenly improved, whatever that means.
 
2012-12-10 06:41:26 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Points against
1) demands results to get handouts (naughty/nice list)
2) no union/dictatorship


3. He has his headquarters in an off-shore tax haven.
 
2012-12-10 06:42:17 PM  

Onkel Buck: mbillips: Smeggy Smurf: Santa doesn't want to murder babies, blow people up with drones or tax the shiat out of you. He can't be a liberal.

Blowing people up with drones is a bipartisan American tradition, like fireworks on July 4th.

Yah but your guy got a Nobel Peace Prize for doing it


Actually, he got a Nobel Peace Prize before he even got going on it. But, personally, blowing up shiatheads who think carbombing civilians is a lawful form of war DESERVES a Nobel Peace Prize. Peace doesn't always come through negotiation; sometimes it requires killing the shiat out of people who don't want peace. Sometimes war IS the answer.
 
2012-12-10 06:42:57 PM  
Once upon a time, about, hmmm, five years ago, there was this groovy dude
And has name was Santa Claus, y'know? And he used to live over in the
Projects with his old lady, and they had a pretty good thing together
Because his old lady was really fine, and she could cook and all that
Stuff like that, y'know. Like, she made da best brownies in town, man!
Oh, I could remember 'em now, man. I could eat ONE of 'em, man...
 
2012-12-10 06:43:46 PM  

bighairyguy: War on Christmas? I don't think so. War on "Santa Baby"? I'll be be leading the charge from the first landing craft to hit the beach.


i236.photobucket.com

Reporting for duty.
 
2012-12-10 06:45:16 PM  
Eartha Kitt was a pacifist with a heart of gold.
 
2012-12-10 06:46:52 PM  

bighairyguy: Onkel Buck: mbillips: Smeggy Smurf: Santa doesn't want to murder babies, blow people up with drones or tax the shiat out of you. He can't be a liberal.

Blowing people up with drones is a bipartisan American tradition, like fireworks on July 4th.

Yah but your guy got a Nobel Peace Prize for doing it

Not true, he got it because "the international climate" suddenly improved, whatever that means.


It means that the entire world thought George W Bush was a complete and utter douchebag. We could have elected Charlie Manson and the world would have thanked him, too.
 
2012-12-10 06:47:39 PM  

signaljammer: Eartha Kitt was a pacifist with a heart of gold.


She wants a man with a big, big yacht.
 
2012-12-10 06:54:03 PM  
Mythological Santa is a filthy commie, giving gifts to the good children of the collective and scolding the bad kids with a lump of coal. Santa still loves those bad kids, but knows that people must work together.

"Real" Santa (whose actions are "seen") is a libertarian. He embraces the commercial aspect of the holidays and convinces children that material goods are worth more than people. The rich kids get the best and the poor kids get nothing.
 
2012-12-10 06:58:21 PM  
 
2012-12-10 06:58:24 PM  
Santa Claus is a Republican, the Fat Gay Bastard:

1) he only delivers to the rich and middle class houses--the poor get nada;
2) you're shiat out of luck if you aren't white Christians (Roman Catholic or Protestant) or at the very limit, Reform or Conservative Jews;
3) if you want your photograph taken with him, you have to fork over the money.

By the way, the only people who get coal in their stockings are people who PO the coal lobby. In that case you're likely to get a stocking full of coal and clinkers upside the back of your head.
 
2012-12-10 07:04:18 PM  
Santa may well be. But Jebus sure is. So we better get ready to say Happy Democrat 's Day.
 
2012-12-10 07:08:16 PM  

vossiewulf: [i922.photobucket.com image 450x648]


Hey, they built that!
 
2012-12-10 07:08:29 PM  
Santa is a libertarian.
1) He distributes gifts using his naughty/nice list, created with his own obfuscated criteria to determine where on the list one lies.
2) He doesn't use gov't roads to deliver his gifts.
3) He's not contributing to Social Security.
4) He's built his own private compound in the wilderness (from which, he's the only one allowed to leave)
 
2012-12-10 07:13:52 PM  
Democrat? He's not even an American and wasn't the North Pole occupied NAZI territory during WWII So I'm guessing Santa collaborated with Germany he is after all a Saint in the Catholic church.

rense.com

here's proof
 
2012-12-10 07:20:33 PM  
Well, seeing how Democrats generally run on the idea that they are Santa by promising voters all kinds of "free stuff" as long as they vote for them, I'd say he possibly could be a Dem. Is Santa's first name Barry by any chance?
 
2012-12-10 07:21:17 PM  
Of course Santa is a Democrat --

(1) His entire worldview necessarily depends on magical thinking; and
(2) There is no 2.
 
2012-12-10 07:21:38 PM  
What? He takes for credit for giving "free" gifts to thankless little brats while forcing hard working men and women to actually buy the presents or be thought of as scrooges? I guess he is a Democrat.
 
2012-12-10 07:24:14 PM  

borg: Democrat? He's not even an American and wasn't the North Pole occupied NAZI territory during WWII So I'm guessing Santa collaborated with Germany he is after all a Saint in the Catholic church.

[rense.com image 550x382]

here's proof


farm2.staticflickr.com
 
2012-12-10 07:31:36 PM  
No Duh.
 
2012-12-10 07:42:01 PM  

vossiewulf: [i922.photobucket.com image 450x648]


I almost lost my shiat with that one.

I love that, and I love you for showing that to me.
 
2012-12-10 07:50:38 PM  
Knew it was PPP before I even looked.
 
2012-12-10 07:52:25 PM  
FTFA: • 52 percent said Santa is the most plausible of all holiday figures. Leprechauns were No. 2, and then Cupid.

So Jesus isn't as plausible?
 
2012-12-10 07:56:44 PM  
War on "Santa Baby"? I'll be be leading the charge from the first landing craft to hit the beach.

I'll second that if it's the Madonna version.
 
2012-12-10 08:02:12 PM  
Stealing from the hard working elves who produced all those toys and giving them all away to lazy layabout parasites who exist on their parents' charity? Yep, democrat.
 
2012-12-10 08:15:28 PM  

HoneyDog: War on "Santa Baby"? I'll be be leading the charge from the first landing craft to hit the beach.

I'll second that if it's the Madonna version.


cdn.uproxx.com

No the Alison Brie version is definitive
 
2012-12-10 08:19:05 PM  

Osomatic: P.J. O'Rourke, in the exasperating introduction to one of his exasperating books:

I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged mate, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.


I've always wanted to FTFY P.J. O'Rourke. Thanks for the opportunity.
 
2012-12-10 08:19:31 PM  
Goddammit PPP. Seriously? This is what you spend money on?
 
2012-12-10 08:24:01 PM  
Santa's definitely a conservative. He's an outsourcer who does all his toymaking offshore. Heck, the North Pole isn't even a COUNTRY! There's even less regulatory oversight there than Somalia!
 
2012-12-10 08:29:15 PM  
To meta-fer.
 
2012-12-10 08:31:04 PM  

doyner: "• 61 percent said they would not pursue charges if Grandma got run over by Santa's reindeer. Democrats were more likely to pursue charges than Republicans."

Clearly Santa is in the 1% and grandma is a burden on Medicare and Social Security.


Well yeah, look what he has, man! Sure, he gives a lot away, but that's not what's really important; look what he has!
 
2012-12-10 08:32:46 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Smeggy Smurf: Super Chronic: Santa names his animals Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. Clearly a tool of the Radical Homosexual AgendaTM.

Those are stripper names. Clearly Santa is a pervert. Hence the naughty list.

[www.xaboom.com image 500x358]


We all know what "giving a lump of coal" is slang for up in the North Pole.

/also the North Pole. That should have given it away from the start
 
2012-12-10 08:32:47 PM  
"52 percent of voters said they believe in Santa Claus"

Just about the same percentage that Obama got in the popular vote. Suddenly it all makes sense...
 
2012-12-10 08:34:58 PM  

trivial use of my dark powers: Nabb1: rumpelstiltskin: The Stealth Hippopotamus: Points for:
1)He runs a commune
2)gives things away for free.

Points against
1) demands results to get handouts (naughty/nice list)
2) no union/dictatorship
3) gives the best gifts to kids who are already rich

4) Continues to support antiquated fossil fuel industry by distributing coal to naughty children

5) Zwarte Peter


6) Doesn't redistribute other kids toys.
 
2012-12-10 08:51:07 PM  

JNowe: Points against
1) demands results to get handouts (naughty/nice list)
2) no union/dictatorship
3) gives the best gifts to kids who are already rich
4) Continues to support antiquated fossil fuel industry by distributing coal to naughty children
5) Zwarte Peter
6) Doesn't redistribute other kids toys.


7) Fat old white guy with all the power living in the wilderness
8) You have to earn your toys
9) He has a moral code and he's watching
 
2012-12-10 09:40:43 PM  
Poll: Yes Virginia, Santa' Kris Kringle's probably a Democrat.

lest we offend
 
2012-12-10 09:57:22 PM  
Well, I don't suppose he pays taxes...
 
2012-12-10 10:15:16 PM  
Further, dude's been married for over a century and has no kids, so he uses that liberal "birth control" stuff. And he holds an exclusive contract with a single third-party organization (the elves), or as we'd call it in the US, a Union contract. So, obviously a Democrat.

//PATRIOT passed with essentially no dissent, so the creepy illegal surveillance of everyone is pretty much nonpartisan.
 
2012-12-10 10:49:03 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Further, dude's been married for over a century and has no kids, so he uses that liberal "birth control" stuff. And he holds an exclusive contract with a single third-party organization (the elves), or as we'd call it in the US, a Union contract. So, obviously a Democrat.

//PATRIOT passed with essentially no dissent, so the creepy illegal surveillance of everyone is pretty much nonpartisan.


Bullshiat. Mrs. Claus is a kinky broad. She takes it up the ass. Why do you think Santa says ho ho ho all the time? He's remembering the last time he tapped that sweet piece of ass
 
2012-12-11 03:28:17 AM  
Of course Santa's not a Democrat.

He actually believes in holding people responsible for their persona behavior and has one of the most unforgivable traits to a liberal... A concept of good and bad. Further he only gives things away to people who deserve them, another trait that would have liberals decrying him if he were real. The elves are probably not unionized either.
 
2012-12-11 08:06:03 AM  
Gifts under the tree?
Santa tells your parents "You didn't buy that"
 
2012-12-11 09:46:24 AM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Points for:
1)He runs a commune
2)gives things away for free.

3) He is the supreme leader of said commune

Points against
1) demands results to get handouts (naughty/nice list)
2) no union/dictatorship

3) He doesn't spend other peoples money.
4) He set up his own plant.

Maybe Santa isn't even American and therefore isn't a Democrat or Republican? 

/Most of the stuff he delivers seems to be from China so maybe he IS a Democrat after all.
 
2012-12-11 10:29:30 AM  
He lives in a fantasy world and he runs a socialist society where he takes the goods from the work force and gives them to the non-working so people will like him and keep him in power. Yep sounds about right.
 
2012-12-11 02:49:12 PM  
If Santa were a Democrat he would require that the Government deliver the toys and that white boys get none.
 
2012-12-12 06:38:41 PM  
There is SO much shat at the end of the thread it's become constipated. Let me flush it.
 
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