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(ABC)   Fundamental Christian nutjob claims to have evidence that Noah's biblical flood actually happened. Sorry, did I say "fundamental Christian nutjob"? I meant "acclaimed maritime archaeologist"   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 23
    More: Interesting, Bibles, shipwrecks, Noah's Ark, Christiane Amanpour, submersibles, carbon datings, meltwaters, traumatic event  
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5824 clicks; posted to Geek » on 10 Dec 2012 at 8:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-10 04:43:35 PM
13 votes:

wxboy: James!: Is anyone else getting this on the side?
 
[25.media.tumblr.com image 357x425]

One of those stories is not like the others.


I don't know - they all involve somebody getting screwed.
2012-12-10 06:39:02 PM
4 votes:

doglover: Do you even the Red Sea?


Yes - the whole thing up.
2012-12-10 05:25:42 PM
4 votes:

trivial use of my dark powers: Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ght.


What's a cubit?

/vwoopa, vwoopa, vwoopa....
2012-12-10 05:06:19 PM
4 votes:
Ri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ght.
2012-12-10 04:30:17 PM
3 votes:
Is anyone else getting this on the side?
 
25.media.tumblr.com 
2012-12-11 12:34:05 AM
2 votes:
Why is Bob Ballard such a good candidate to look into this?

He knows NOAA personally
2012-12-10 10:04:22 PM
2 votes:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_City

Emirical evidence that NYC is a real place that actually exists.
Therefore, Ghostbusters is a true story.
2012-12-10 06:55:13 PM
2 votes:

doglover: Do you even the Red Sea?


No, but I did once the Reed Sea.
2012-12-10 06:41:50 PM
2 votes:

Elzar: doglover: Do you even the Red Sea?

Yes - the whole thing up.


Accidentally?
2012-12-10 05:46:25 PM
2 votes:
I have a hobby - I enjoy deconstructing every biblical tale into a more reasonable tale that could have feasibly happened, but was embellished greatly over the years.

Noah's Ark? Some dude with a boat saved two of his sheep during a flood, then used them to replenish his herd.

David and Goliath? This one doesn't even need deconstructing. A little guy killed a big guy by hitting him in the head with a rock thrown at high speeds.

Every cycle of "punishment" and "restoration" of the Hebrew people? Pretty common "we got our shiat kicked only because WE WEREN'T PIOUS ENOUGH!" See: The entire republican party, November 7th.

Moses? A crazy guy who knew a single path over a river incited a riot, ran away with a bunch of slaves, the people who pursued him didn't know the path over the river, got killed chasing them.

Mary? Uh, yeah. Do I really need to point out that it's far more likely one stupid had his wife cheat on him, then lie about it, rather than the motherfarking almighty swooping down to impregnate some random chick?

/this is why my family stopped sending me bibles for christmas.
2012-12-10 04:58:22 PM
2 votes:

The Stealth Hippopotamus: I dont think anyone would say there wasn't a flood. I think the main point is getting all the animals in a boat and successfully breeding a whole populations off two animals.


See, that's why I'm excited about the new Noah's Ark museum thing Kentucky or Tennessee or wherever. Because they are going to be arguing that Noah only had "types" from which all modern animals descended - so there was an Ur-dog and so on and so forth, and only in the last few thousand years have all the others developed and with such a range of genetic diversity. But don't you dare call that evolution!
2012-12-11 08:38:04 AM
1 votes:

King Something: In order for penguins, elephants, poison dart frogs, møøse, honey badgers, polar bears, panda bears, panthers, ocelots, Iriomote cats, Gila monsters, Komodo dragons, Galapagos tortoises, Tasmanian devils and duck-billed platypi to have survived the Flood, they must have first been herded onto the Ark. Those animals are generally not found in the Middle East, nor is there much record of them in any historical documents from the region.


Honey Badger can't be found in the Middle East? Honey Badger don't care. Honey badger don't give a shiat.
2012-12-11 12:18:36 AM
1 votes:

Hollie Maea: (wall of text to come)


After you paste...did you know that you can still make your own paragraphs?
Give it a try next time.
2012-12-10 11:12:33 PM
1 votes:
"Sploosh."
2012-12-10 09:09:59 PM
1 votes:

Karac: Rent Party: The largest waterfall ever to have existed came over this ledge. The Missoula floods would have been awesome to behold.

And yet, no one calls them "global." Because, you know, they were "regional."

I'll see you a river, and raise you the filling of the Mediterranean Sea. Although it could not have been the basis of flood myths, as it occured several milion years before the formation of the earth.


That would have been a neat trick.

/we're getting some awesome grammar fails in this one
2012-12-10 08:01:07 PM
1 votes:

ShawnDoc: BravadoGT: "Huh," G_d thinks. "He went and did it. Two of every animal he could find. Good boy, Noah. Well...a promise is a promise."

But I thought god was omniscient. Why would he have been surprised?


That answer depends if you're think like a Calvinist or not.
2012-12-10 07:33:53 PM
1 votes:

doglover: Coolfusis: I have a hobby - I enjoy deconstructing every biblical tale into a more reasonable tale that could have feasibly happened, but was embellished greatly over the years.

Noah's Ark? Some dude with a boat saved two of his sheep during a flood, then used them to replenish his herd.

David and Goliath? This one doesn't even need deconstructing. A little guy killed a big guy by hitting him in the head with a rock thrown at high speeds.

Every cycle of "punishment" and "restoration" of the Hebrew people? Pretty common "we got our shiat kicked only because WE WEREN'T PIOUS ENOUGH!" See: The entire republican party, November 7th.

Moses? A crazy guy who knew a single path over a river incited a riot, ran away with a bunch of slaves, the people who pursued him didn't know the path over the river, got killed chasing them.

Mary? Uh, yeah. Do I really need to point out that it's far more likely one stupid had his wife cheat on him, then lie about it, rather than the motherfarking almighty swooping down to impregnate some random chick?

/this is why my family stopped sending me bibles for christmas.

For a Hobby, you think you'd be better at it. A river? Really? Do you even the Red Sea?


Whoops, got my biblical bodies of water mixed up. I shall now commit seppuku to atone for my great shame.
2012-12-10 06:49:59 PM
1 votes:
A regional flood event that spawned enduring oral myths that became the Epic of Gilgamesh and eventually rewritten and included in the bible as Noah and the Ark is now being explored in a ABC TV special with Christiane Amanpour and the guy who sent robots down into the Titanic a couple years back?

Meh, prolly more interesting than one of those "Did we just find the Ark?" ones I suppose.
2012-12-10 05:49:10 PM
1 votes:

naughtyrev: The Stealth Hippopotamus: I dont think anyone would say there wasn't a flood. I think the main point is getting all the animals in a boat and successfully breeding a whole populations off two animals.

See, that's why I'm excited about the new Noah's Ark museum thing Kentucky or Tennessee or wherever. Because they are going to be arguing that Noah only had "types" from which all modern animals descended - so there was an Ur-dog and so on and so forth, and only in the last few thousand years have all the others developed and with such a range of genetic diversity. But don't you dare call that evolution!


Answers from Genesis is awesome - their song "Misunderstanding" is dope as fark.
2012-12-10 05:21:18 PM
1 votes:
"Gilga---mesh..."
2012-12-10 04:56:52 PM
1 votes:
Big flood: plausible.
Flood covering entire surface of earth: no.
600 year old dude creating boat big enough to carry two of every species on earth except waterfowl and fish: no
600 year old dude's family repopulating entire earth: nope!
Deity with seriously bad attitude bullshiatting Noah about the whole rainbow thing "Um, yeah...I put that there as a promise I won't ever flood you and kill everything on earth again. No, srsly. It's magic -- nothing to do with diffraction"
2012-12-10 04:49:09 PM
1 votes:

Magorn: "based on real events" is not the same as "actually happened"

Ballard has mor eor less conclusively proved there was a catastrophic flood that brought the water of the Med into the black sea. The Black Sea's unusual composition, salt water on top, fresh water farther down really can't be easily explained any other way. Morevover, I personally believe that the reason almost every culture on earth has a "flood story" is because there WERE catastrophic global floods all over the world, just not all at once the way the bible tells it. Go look at a map of Ice Age Europe and then look at it again after the glaciers melted. The English channel, for example used to be a land bridge. Futher We know people lived on that land bridge becuase, just like Ballard did in the Black Sea, we've found evidence of villages and human habitations at the bottom of the channel. So yeah, since people do tend to live near the water (look at a poulation map of the world even today) and the water levels dramatically rose over a few hundred year stretch. I have no doubt it was traumatic experience for nearly every human on earth and was enshrined in all sorts of story-telling traditions


geocurrents.info

The largest waterfall ever to have existed came over this ledge. The Missoula floods would have been awesome to behold.

And yet, no one calls them "global." Because, you know, they were "regional."
2012-12-10 04:34:02 PM
1 votes:

James!: Is anyone else getting this on the side?
 
[25.media.tumblr.com image 357x425]


One of those stories is not like the others.
 
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