Just a note that the first quarterfinal for Headline of the Year went live last week and the next one is tomorrow. Still lots of contests coming up.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-12-02 to Sat 2012-12-08:

  Rockwell painting fetches $2.8M at Chicago auction. You see? There *is* somebody watching him    

  College demands construction crews remove sexist "Men Working" sign. As a result, several students injured after falling into personhole    

  Trooper gets fired for filing report in ebonics. They don't think it be like it is, but it do    

  McAfee founder arrested by police. His 21 day free trial begins next week    

  Woman crashes at a donut shop one day, then into an eye care center the next. Police: was that crash better, or worse? Better? Or worse?    

  Lollipop patrolman killed by car. Local guild representatives said to be devastated    

  College student claims her roommate poisoned her ice tea with bleach after argument over dishes, but the roommate says her accusations are baseless    

  Firefighter attacked pre-op transsexual model girlfriend by slamming her into phone booth and dragging her by her hair. That's crazy. Where are there still phone booths?    

  25 years ago today, a 19 year old German boy bypassed all Soviet defenses to land a Cessna in Red Square, making it the most successful invasion of Russia in German history    

  The North Star is 30 percent closer to Earth than we thought it was in the 1990s, which either means our observations are getting more precise, or in about 45 years we're in big trouble    

  Howtolivewellin425squarefeet    


Sports:

  Ric Flair's wife files for separation. He'll have to find someone else to WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO    

  Kobe Bryant sets scoring record in New Orleans. He also now has 30,000 points    

  Goodell wants to replace kickoffs with a 4th and 15 from your 30. In next years news, New England wins the Superbowl 150-3    


Geek:

  New breath test diagnoses colon cancer. Your ass wants a Tic Tac    

  Now, for the first time ever, a parrot has successfully trained a human to design and build robots specifically for the parrot's use and entertainment    

  Researcher finds rare Lincoln records that few knew existed. How hipster can you get?    


Entertainment:

  Mike Tyson says he will not be in the next 'Hangover' movie. Has apparently learned the meaning of the word "No"    

  Arnold Schwarzenegger is on board for "Terminator 5: Social Security Check Day" and "Terminator 6: Rise of the Walkers"    

  Belize archaeologist sues makers of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull for design infringement. Yeah, it's as stupid as it sounds but he claims to have top men working on it. Top. Men    


Politics:

  Republican budget counter-proposal calls for spending decreases of $4.6 trillion over 10 years by dipping into the magic bean reserve    

  Obama sees signs Republicans may agree to tax hikes for the wealthy. In other news, the Air Force shot down Arnold Ziffel today for violating the White House no-fly zone    

  Mawwage... Mawwage is what the Supweme Cowt will discuss when it heaws a case on the constitutionawity of Pwoposition Eight    


Business:

  Andrew Zimmern takes a short break from gobbling down raw yak testicles and dry-aged tapir anus to inform the general public that they know nothing of fine dining and have no business opining about it on Yelp    

  Walmart is 100 percent committed to worker safety, as long they don't have to talk about it or pay for anything    

  Burger King adds more cities to its roll out of home delivery, still guaranteeing that the order will clog your arteries in 30 minutes or less    
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