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(io9)   Six good habits that can be learned from being bullied as a geeky kid. And yes, my little Trekkies, Ringers, Whovians, brown coats, and all the other young geeks and nerds: it gets better for you too   (io9.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, tomato sauces, habits, Anne McCaffrey, Ursula Le Guin  
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13063 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 6:55 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-10 07:24:11 PM  

HeartBurnKid: TV's Vinnie: 1. Ignore Insults and Keep Going

BAD ADVICE! that will just make the bullies try harder. Oh believe me, they will try harder.

And you keep ignoring and keep going. It's not going to make the bullies stop, but it'll make it stop mattering to you.

The second-best day of my life is the day I realized that the opinions of the toolsheds that surrounded me in high school did not matter. Haters gonna hate, as the saying goes.


And when they switch from insults to fists?
 
2012-12-10 07:24:38 PM  

redmid17: orclover: Gets better?

No, no it doesnt. fark you. Eventually you just get old enough to drink away the pain. With "it gets better" being said, I'm not even going to check your farking list. Just fark you. My god, just fark you. I wish there was a god just so I could pray to him to fark you and all the rest of them.

You shouldn't say that. Someone has to make all the alcohol you drink. You might contribute a lot but it's so much easier to buy it instead of brewing it.


I do both, got 5 gallons of cider going right now. And 5 bottles of Smirnoff that wont make it through the month. I would blow my brains out, but at this point I dont want to give you people the satisfaction. For all the rape and pain of public school I just wish I could set fire to the world, but that power goes to the bullies, never to crying little biatches like me. farking whole world will still be here in January too and it makes me sick.

/oh look time to add Kahlua and milk!
 
ecl
2012-12-10 07:26:17 PM  
Charlie Sheen called and said being a pathetic drug addict is ok because 10-15 years down the line everything is gonna be just dandy. So stop being dweebs and just take the drugs.
 
2012-12-10 07:26:31 PM  
Nah. I'm sorta a big one for revenge. I've had two great moments of revenge in my life, and they were great.
 
2012-12-10 07:27:19 PM  
Thank you.
 
2012-12-10 07:28:08 PM  
Tenebreaux.
 
2012-12-10 07:28:43 PM  
Burma Shave.
 
2012-12-10 07:29:16 PM  

TV's Vinnie: HeartBurnKid: TV's Vinnie: 1. Ignore Insults and Keep Going

BAD ADVICE! that will just make the bullies try harder. Oh believe me, they will try harder.

And you keep ignoring and keep going. It's not going to make the bullies stop, but it'll make it stop mattering to you.

The second-best day of my life is the day I realized that the opinions of the toolsheds that surrounded me in high school did not matter. Haters gonna hate, as the saying goes.

And when they switch from insults to fists?


Then you fight right back with all you got. If you're gonna get your ass kicked you might as well go down swinging. That's life.

Life is rough. Wear a helmet.
 
2012-12-10 07:30:22 PM  
FWIW, junior high school girls are the secret weapon we should unleash upon the Taliban; they are hideous monsters of abuse and when grouped together have the power to make strong men cry.
 
2012-12-10 07:30:26 PM  

ShawnDoc: 5. The hatred for everyone around you? Makes you the perfect hatchetman when it comes to cost cutting. After all, had you known them in high school they likely would have bullied you. Now they're the ones sobbing on the way home, and you're getting a bonus for making the company more efficent


i223.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-10 07:32:00 PM  
Being bullied when I was young made my paranoid.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?????
 
2012-12-10 07:32:17 PM  

angry bunny: I

Then again all middle schoolers are essentially sociopaths and should be caged from about 12 until 16 or so.


They are like really smart chimps. It's a hierarchical social structure where dominance is shown by calling the least threatening kids "fags"
/I agree with a lot of other posters, if you're a scrawny teen...the crazy eyes is the way to go.
4.bp.blogspot.com
And learn to take a punch.
 
2012-12-10 07:33:27 PM  

redmid17: I think 'Always distrust popularity' is not necessarily a good thing. Conforming for conforming's sake is not a good idea, but frankly there is a reason societal norms exist.

/not popular in HS
//not a nerd either


wow do i pity you. please don't pass this advice on to your children when the time comes.

orclover: redmid17: orclover: Gets better?

No, no it doesnt. fark you. Eventually you just get old enough to drink away the pain. With "it gets better" being said, I'm not even going to check your farking list. Just fark you. My god, just fark you. I wish there was a god just so I could pray to him to fark you and all the rest of them.

You shouldn't say that. Someone has to make all the alcohol you drink. You might contribute a lot but it's so much easier to buy it instead of brewing it.

I do both, got 5 gallons of cider going right now. And 5 bottles of Smirnoff that wont make it through the month. I would blow my brains out, but at this point I dont want to give you people the satisfaction. For all the rape and pain of public school I just wish I could set fire to the world, but that power goes to the bullies, never to crying little biatches like me. farking whole world will still be here in January too and it makes me sick.

/oh look time to add Kahlua and milk!


nice. you live in paradise and have so many advantages over so many other people yet you choose to pity yourself and hide in a bottle. maybe one day you'll buy a backbone or a set of balls on eBay and start acting like an adult. probably not.

/it takes courage to suicide, you spineless fark
 
2012-12-10 07:34:12 PM  

Spanky McStupid: FWIW, junior high school girls are the secret weapon we should unleash upon the Taliban; they are hideous monsters of abuse and when grouped together have the power to make strong men cry.


Concurs...

www.cinema-crazed.com
 
2012-12-10 07:35:16 PM  
Kick to the gut and a Stunner.

/make em laugh
 
2012-12-10 07:35:28 PM  
I don't understand why she didn't just give every dude in school a bj.

Made girls in my high school pretty popular.
 
2012-12-10 07:36:04 PM  
Oh, this is is something all of you people can relate to.
 
2012-12-10 07:36:54 PM  
I had a pencil jammed into my thigh in 6th grade by a bully. She's still fat and ugly. Elementary, Middle and most of high school was pure torture.

Counselors thought I didn't know how to make friends....I want to go back to that elementary school and give them the one fingers salute.

Best revenge is living life the way you want to, being successful, and letting all those horrible people to their own devices.
 
2012-12-10 07:37:40 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Rezurok: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: doyner: /please vote "smart" for this post

Seriously? That's just sad.

[media.tumblr.com image 452x339]

Yes, yes. I've already owned my idiocy. Check my second post.


Yeah, I know...it takes time to find the right picture, dammit!
 
2012-12-10 07:38:39 PM  

megarian: I don't understand why she didn't just give every dude in school a bj.

Made girls in my high school pretty popular.


Not with the other girls.
 
2012-12-10 07:38:44 PM  
Just beat the crap out of the toughest kid in school and your home free. Worked for me.
 
2012-12-10 07:39:21 PM  

Coastalgrl: Best revenge is living life the way you want to, being successful, and letting all those horrible people to their own devices.


There is a flaw in that theory. Bullies don't always get some kind of cosmic cumuppance. It's a pretty effective strategy when you get right down to it, and it can really be rewarded in the workplace.

/watched it happen plenty.
 
2012-12-10 07:41:15 PM  

TV's Vinnie: HeartBurnKid: TV's Vinnie: 1. Ignore Insults and Keep Going

BAD ADVICE! that will just make the bullies try harder. Oh believe me, they will try harder.

And you keep ignoring and keep going. It's not going to make the bullies stop, but it'll make it stop mattering to you.

The second-best day of my life is the day I realized that the opinions of the toolsheds that surrounded me in high school did not matter. Haters gonna hate, as the saying goes.

And when they switch from insults to fists?


Then you hit back, and try your damnedest to break something when you do.
 
2012-12-10 07:41:17 PM  
A hat pin.

Invisible in a scuffle, disappears in a flash.
 
2012-12-10 07:42:08 PM  
MY GOD, am i the only one to post this?

FARK - teaching you valuable life skills since yo daddy learned to click n' drag (well, the click part, anyway)

img339.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-10 07:42:50 PM  
I stopped getting bullied right after columbine. Apparently I looked like a person who would snap.

/wouldn't hurt a fly.
 
2012-12-10 07:43:25 PM  
Do you know what I learned about bullies?

It's a shortened story.

Know that:

Before they hit, you cannot prepare.

When they hit, it is never as bad as they threatened.

After they hit, you hit them back harder than they ever thought you capable of.

You teach the bully a lesson in awareness.

They are now aware.

And they won't bother you again.

Usually.
 
2012-12-10 07:44:01 PM  

ShawnDoc: megarian: I don't understand why she didn't just give every dude in school a bj.

Made girls in my high school pretty popular.

Not with the other girls.


Also, be the girl that provides wine coolers and flavored vodka to social functions.

/I was not very popular. Surprise.
 
2012-12-10 07:44:18 PM  
Moving every 1-2 years my whole life taught me how to easily make short term friends. It's the long term ones I have problems with.
 
2012-12-10 07:45:31 PM  

PanicMan: Moving every 1-2 years my whole life taught me how to easily make short term friends. It's the long term ones I have problems with.


This.
 
2012-12-10 07:47:07 PM  

over_and_done: I advise nerds to take up some kind of martial art. It'll do wonders for self-discipline, keeping calm, and self-esteem. And if really really needed, you can break the bully's arms in under five seconds wrist and walk away.


sitelife.runnersworld.com
 
2012-12-10 07:47:40 PM  
I never had a problem with other kids in high school. I always just had problems with all the teachers and administrators.

If you want your kid to grow up to be an anti-authoritarian atheist, make sure to send them to a private christian school!
 
2012-12-10 07:47:42 PM  

megarian: PanicMan: Moving every 1-2 years my whole life taught me how to easily make short term friends. It's the long term ones I have problems with.

This.


I was an Army brat. The first time I went to the same school twice was 11th grade. It really messed with my head to know who everyone was and where everything was the first day. Moving is easy for me. Staying is hard.

You?
 
2012-12-10 07:50:36 PM  

TV's Vinnie: And when they switch from insults to fists?


Escalate:

news.stanford.edu
 
2012-12-10 07:51:31 PM  
I was beaten and ridiculed daily for the three miserable years of middle school.

Now I'm a robotics engineer and semi-pro skydiver. Suck it, bullies. I farking won.
 
2012-12-10 07:53:04 PM  
I put up with abuse for a year and a half. Til the main abuser wouldn't let it up one day at lunch. So I strung together as many insults as my 11 year old brain could think up and then some. He took off and never gave me crap again, nor did anyone else (other than the occasional girl who would shut up pretty quick with just a look and one instance on a bus after I stood up for some other kid they were harassing (it's funny to see their faces when the tiny quiet girl suddenly bellows obscenities loud enough for the whole bus to hear, no matter how noisy)). I wasn't the most popular kid in school after that, but I did alright - most people knew me and almost no one hated me. No way I would ever just put up with that sort of crap and just hope it stops again.

High school was mostly AP courses, so I didn't interact with most of the rest of the student body very much. There was some sexism from time to time, but not too much in the way of bullying.

/Probably helps, though, that in middle school most of the boys known for being bullies asked me out at least once
//I always suspected their intentions anyway
//But the one boy asked a couple of times during and after the time he was stuck next to me by our science teacher to "help his grades"
 
2012-12-10 07:53:07 PM  

PanicMan: megarian: PanicMan: Moving every 1-2 years my whole life taught me how to easily make short term friends. It's the long term ones I have problems with.

This.

I was an Army brat. The first time I went to the same school twice was 11th grade. It really messed with my head to know who everyone was and where everything was the first day. Moving is easy for me. Staying is hard.

You?


Auto industry brat. Every time a plant would close, we would move somewhere completely outrageous. Usually near an Air Force base. I went to 3 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 3 high schools. I love moving. I get uncomfortable when I stay too long.

Also, I am the worst at being a long-term friend ever ever ever.
 
2012-12-10 07:54:12 PM  

toraque: I never had a problem with other kids in high school. I always just had problems with all the teachers and administrators.

If you want your kid to grow up to be an anti-authoritarian atheist, make sure to send them to a private christian school!


I learned all about Misandry, long before I knew the word for it thanks to my Elementary and Jr High teachers.
 
2012-12-10 07:55:26 PM  

real_headhoncho: Missing is: "How to beat the shiat out of your tormenter" and "Looking so crazy no one will fark with you"


Nah, one of the comments said exactly that :)

I never really had those issues. I had a friend who was an outcast that people loved to pick on. Blows my mind why they would keep tormenting him considering his one reaction was to fight, he never lost a fight, not even any close fights, ever. Also, if anyone said anything that offended him to me he would beat the shait out of them. Unless I told him not to :)

Good friend to have when you were small and mouthy :)
 
2012-12-10 07:55:53 PM  

Rezurok: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: Rezurok: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: doyner: /please vote "smart" for this post

Seriously? That's just sad.

[media.tumblr.com image 452x339]

Yes, yes. I've already owned my idiocy. Check my second post.

Yeah, I know...it takes time to find the right picture, dammit!


Yet you still posted it. You are cold blooded.  ;)
 
2012-12-10 07:56:05 PM  
bully those even weaker than you

fight back, dirty

also what orclover said
 
ecl
2012-12-10 07:58:20 PM  

chopit: I was beaten and ridiculed daily for the three miserable years of middle school.

Now I'm a robotics engineer and semi-pro skydiver. Suck it, bullies. I farking won.


Sounds kind of like they won and you've been desperately trying to achieve as a petty way to "Get back" at them ever since.

home.roadrunner.com
 
2012-12-10 07:59:01 PM  

Omahawg: bully those even weaker than you

fight back, dirty

also what orclover said

bully-chain

 
2012-12-10 07:59:39 PM  

Indubitably: Omahawg: bully those even weaker than you

fight back, dirty

also what orclover said

bully-chain


"You can pull a car with that..."
 
2012-12-10 08:00:02 PM  

highendmighty: TV's Vinnie: You have to treat being in school like your first day in prison. If you don't f*ck someone up hard the moment they try to test you, you're gonna be a b*tch to everyone else there for the rest of your days.

In junior high, I was gang-attacked by about 6 guys who were intent on giving me a swirly. Just as they got me into the stall, I freed my arms and swung blindly and wildly, striking many of them in the face and causing them to scatter. Days later, one of them sullenly told me, "you didn't have to hit me in the face." Putz. There were no more swirly attempts.


I had a similar experience. Swirlys / swirlies were part of sports initiation. When i was a freshman 4 juniors scooped me up easily (I was like 5'5" 100 lbs then) carried me into the locker room and got the stall. Only one of them could fit in the stall so they had to loosen their grip up. I start punching, kicking, biting and they never managed to get me in the toilet.

The only swirlie i have ever had was a dare from hot chick. It was a great investment :)
 
2012-12-10 08:00:15 PM  

megarian: PanicMan: megarian: PanicMan: Moving every 1-2 years my whole life taught me how to easily make short term friends. It's the long term ones I have problems with.

This.

I was an Army brat. The first time I went to the same school twice was 11th grade. It really messed with my head to know who everyone was and where everything was the first day. Moving is easy for me. Staying is hard.

You?

Auto industry brat. Every time a plant would close, we would move somewhere completely outrageous. Usually near an Air Force base. I went to 3 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 3 high schools. I love moving. I get uncomfortable when I stay too long.

Also, I am the worst at being a long-term friend ever ever ever.


*Fist Bump*
 
2012-12-10 08:01:53 PM  

PanicMan: megarian: PanicMan: megarian: PanicMan: Moving every 1-2 years my whole life taught me how to easily make short term friends. It's the long term ones I have problems with.

This.

I was an Army brat. The first time I went to the same school twice was 11th grade. It really messed with my head to know who everyone was and where everything was the first day. Moving is easy for me. Staying is hard.

You?

Auto industry brat. Every time a plant would close, we would move somewhere completely outrageous. Usually near an Air Force base. I went to 3 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, and 3 high schools. I love moving. I get uncomfortable when I stay too long.

Also, I am the worst at being a long-term friend ever ever ever.

*Fist Bump*


Word.
 
2012-12-10 08:02:13 PM  
I agree with the "Fantasies are more powerful than pain" part.

Anytime I choose, I could have any woman in the world I want. Salma Hayek, Christina Hendricks, Anne Hathaway, Mila Kunis, all upon activating my imagination I'm suddenly transferred into an orgy with high class female celebrities. When I finish, I just have to stop thinking and I wouldn't have to go through the trouble of treating them to dinner or giving gifts after sex. Ah, the wonders of a powerful imagination for the masturbator.
 
2012-12-10 08:02:53 PM  
FTA: 6. Give Up On Revenge

WTF? If there is one thing that I learned it is there is no such thing as karma. If a bully is deserving of revenge you have to dish it out yourself. Life will not serve it up to him.

My 6th grade bully won $26 million in the lottery. fark him!
 
2012-12-10 08:04:54 PM  
I had a Hate Patrol going through the 7th to about the 9th grade. One ringleader with about 4 henchmen and, of course, practically the rest of the school. They used to do everything in the article, including singing hate songs to me every day on the bus and doing everything they could to alienate me as a whole. All of them, working together, every day for years. It cumulated with a group of them hanging my beagle dog, Joker, in a tree in my back yard.

That damaged me and led to a number of suicide attempts followed by a life of inpatient hospitalizations for clinical depression and bi-polar syndrome. I didn't really shake free until I was in my mid 20's.

Now, in my 40's, I managed to locate the ringleader on facebook. He has three young kids and lives in Seattle. I verified it was him. I saw his signature on his paperwork and that's how I knew. I swear to god I was overwhelmed with the compulsion to drop everything and drive to Seattle for a surprise reunion. I thought about hanging one of his three young daughters in a tree in his back yard to see if he remembered me.

But revenge isn't an option. No matter how lasting the damage done. It would be wrong to do that, no matter how liberating. Sure he'd never see me coming. Sure he probably forgot about me entirely. Sure his pleas for mercy and forgiveness would soothe years of old trauma, especially when they went unanswered. Sure I would die happy hurting the things he loved and taunting him to make him cry about it. I'd kill myself on the scene, with a happy little smile because I had finally mastered the thing that destroyed my life so purposefully and so maliciously so long ago. It would be sweet, but it's not an option.

So the article rings for me. Tip of the Hat to the author. Thanks for something I can totally relate to and wise words for a broken soul that never really recovered. Oh, and I reflexively distrust popular people as well. There's a new one at work right now. I often have to subvert powerful impulses to suddenly thrust something sharp through their temples to save the world from another Hate Patrol.

But I subvert it every time. Sure I have a lot of venting to do, but I learned always to surpress it.

I'm feeling better every day. :)
 
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