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(io9)   Six good habits that can be learned from being bullied as a geeky kid. And yes, my little Trekkies, Ringers, Whovians, brown coats, and all the other young geeks and nerds: it gets better for you too   (io9.com) divider line 248
    More: Interesting, tomato sauces, habits, Anne McCaffrey, Ursula Le Guin  
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13057 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 6:55 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-10 04:37:34 PM  
Is "keep your head down and fit in" on that list?
 
2012-12-10 04:50:49 PM  
You just got to stop hitting yourself.
 
2012-12-10 04:56:01 PM  
how is "How to take a punch" not on that list?
 
2012-12-10 04:59:42 PM  
Missing is: "How to beat the shiat out of your tormenter" and "Looking so crazy no one will fark with you"
 
2012-12-10 05:15:29 PM  
Where is "Kill yourself so that your tormentors can be sent to PMITA prison by an after-the-fact vengeful ex post facto mob?"
 
2012-12-10 05:16:52 PM  
Imagining you are cutting them down like wheat with your +5 Battle Axe of Slaying strangely not on the list.

It worked so well for me.
 
2012-12-10 05:38:38 PM  
Great list. Being quirky as an adult has serious benefits.

It's a hell of a lot easier to be comfortable in your own skin from the inside than from validation born of the validation of others.

/please vote "smart" for this post
 
2012-12-10 05:43:24 PM  
ourprerogative.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-10 06:04:12 PM  
I was a dork in high school and the result has been mostly becoming an adult with Dexter like ambitions for people I loathe. If only I owned a boat.
 
2012-12-10 06:10:04 PM  
What ever happened to giving shiat right back?

Insults for insults and fists for fists.

None of this emo moping about and pretending that being bullied is some badge of honor.
 
2012-12-10 06:21:29 PM  

L.D. Ablo: What ever happened to giving shiat right back?

Insults for insults and fists for fists.

None of this emo moping about and pretending that being bullied is some badge of honor.


Because it's not the beating that hurts; it's the humiliation. Nerds, dorks, dweebs, goobers alike all fear attention and further embarrassment. They just want the bully to go away in that moment. Escalating the situation seems like a bad idea, and many times it is.
 
2012-12-10 06:21:50 PM  
For those that won't click the link
1. Keep your tears bundled up inside - No one wants to see you cry at work
2. All that time spent organizing your Pokemon cards? Trains you for a long productive life working in administration
3. Making your own costumes and dressing up as your favorite SciFi characters? Teaches you how to sew, so you can tailor your own suits/shirts, saving you a ton of money and making you look sharp at job interviews
4. The alcohol tolerance you built-up from drinking alone in your room - Helps you keep your wits about you when making business deals over drinks with Russian or Japanese business people
5. The hatred for everyone around you? Makes you the perfect hatchetman when it comes to cost cutting. After all, had you known them in high school they likely would have bullied you. Now they're the ones sobbing on the way home, and you're getting a bonus for making the company more efficent
6. Friends, what are those? They're what holds you back by taking time away from work while you pretend to give two shiats about their life or look at photos of their kids. Your friendless lifestyle makes it that much easier to impress your boss with your commitment to the job by putting in those extra hours while all your coworkers are wasting their time hosing BBQ's for friends or going out to watch Timmy's soccer game.
 
2012-12-10 06:24:07 PM  

L.D. Ablo: What ever happened to giving shiat right back?

Insults for insults and fists for fists.

None of this emo moping about and pretending that being bullied is some badge of honor.


Ain't never been in a fair fight. As a geek it's always many on one if shiat starts.

That said, rarely was I bullied. No passion in my school.
 
2012-12-10 06:38:48 PM  

L.D. Ablo: What ever happened to giving shiat right back?

Insults for insults and fists for fists.


Under the charmingly romantic theory that bullies are just a bunch of pussies that fold the moment you swing your scrawny fists at them, right?

Yeah, about that: it makes for great cinema (see: A Christmas Story), but, nine times out of ten, the real life version of that does not end up with the bully wearing the cast.

The thing about real world bullies is that they're pretty good at picking out the kids who aren't going to put up a physical challenge even if they do fight back, so this whole "punch the bully!" line of advice is actually some of the shiattiest that you can give a kid who's getting picked on.
 
2012-12-10 06:57:55 PM  
I think 'Always distrust popularity' is not necessarily a good thing. Conforming for conforming's sake is not a good idea, but frankly there is a reason societal norms exist.

/not popular in HS
//not a nerd either
 
2012-12-10 06:58:15 PM  

real_headhoncho: "Looking so crazy no one will fark with you"


That's what I did. It worked for me
 
2012-12-10 07:00:22 PM  
Depending on the nerd level, life usually works out very well for you around 25-30 years of age and only gets better.

The inverse is usually true for other students (unless they go to the NFL or MLB)
 
2012-12-10 07:01:04 PM  
1. Ignore Insults and Keep Going

BAD ADVICE! that will just make the bullies try harder. Oh believe me, they will try harder.

You have to treat being in school like your first day in prison. If you don't f*ck someone up hard the moment they try to test you, you're gonna be a b*tch to everyone else there for the rest of your days.
 
2012-12-10 07:02:31 PM  
The most popular kids in high school go on to earn higher wages than the least popular - as much as 10 percent 40 years after graduation, according to a new study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research. Researchers say students with better social skills do better when they enter the workplace.
 
2012-12-10 07:02:47 PM  
Best of all, being bullied taught me to question popularity of all kinds, whether it's in Hollywood and the White House, or on Facebook and the Nobel Prize list. Just because everybody likes it doesn't mean it's good.

You know those Nobel Prize guys, a bunch of remorseless bullies out to destroy the geeks and nerds of the world. 
I can't even walk in my neighborhood any more without a chemistry or medical recipient giving me a hard time.
 
2012-12-10 07:04:09 PM  
Nothing good comes from bullying.
 
2012-12-10 07:04:13 PM  
If you have any athletic ability, and any tolerance for pain, play Pop Warner football when you're 7-12. You will a) gain a reputation for a certain amount of toughness and more importantly b) have a bunch of big jock friends who will fark up anyone who tries to bully you.

Worked for me, and I was 4-8, 70 pounds in 7th grade.

/Also, help your jock friends cheat on tests.
 
2012-12-10 07:04:17 PM  

doyner: /please vote "smart" for this post


Seriously? That's just sad.
 
2012-12-10 07:05:08 PM  
Goddamnit, please stop encouraging the Bronies.

Please.
 
2012-12-10 07:05:14 PM  

ShawnDoc: 6. Friends, what are those? They're what holds you back by taking time away from work while you pretend to give two shiats about their life or look at photos of their kids. Your friendless lifestyle makes it that much easier to impress your boss with your commitment to the job by putting in those extra hours while all your coworkers are wasting their time hosing BBQ's for friends or going out to watch Timmy's soccer game.


Some nerds end up making enough money to have other people hose their BBQ for them.
 
2012-12-10 07:05:29 PM  
The bullying stopped when the kid bothering me found herself sprawled out on the floor.Turns out she was watching other kids pick on me and wanted to get on my last nerve so I'd actually do anything. She was lying on the floor saying, "It's about DAMN time." High school was awesome after that.

40 years later, we are still the best of friends.
 
2012-12-10 07:06:00 PM  
This is one of the worst lists I have ever read on Fark.

Bullying doesn't teach anything.
 
2012-12-10 07:07:48 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: doyner: /please vote "smart" for this post

Seriously? That's just sad.


Oh, I get it. Turns out I'm an idiot.
 
2012-12-10 07:08:26 PM  

albuquerquehalsey: The most popular kids in high school go on to earn higher wages than the least popular - as much as 10 percent 40 years after graduation, according to a new study published by the National Bureau of Economic Research. Researchers say students with better social skills do better when they enter the workplace.


Drinkers earn more money too Link
 
2012-12-10 07:08:50 PM  

TV's Vinnie: You have to treat being in school like your first day in prison. If you don't f*ck someone up hard the moment they try to test you, you're gonna be a b*tch to everyone else there for the rest of your days.


In junior high, I was gang-attacked by about 6 guys who were intent on giving me a swirly. Just as they got me into the stall, I freed my arms and swung blindly and wildly, striking many of them in the face and causing them to scatter. Days later, one of them sullenly told me, "you didn't have to hit me in the face." Putz. There were no more swirly attempts.
 
2012-12-10 07:08:53 PM  

TV's Vinnie: 1. Ignore Insults and Keep Going

BAD ADVICE! that will just make the bullies try harder. Oh believe me, they will try harder.


And you keep ignoring and keep going. It's not going to make the bullies stop, but it'll make it stop mattering to you.

The second-best day of my life is the day I realized that the opinions of the toolsheds that surrounded me in high school did not matter. Haters gonna hate, as the saying goes.
 
2012-12-10 07:09:07 PM  

real_headhoncho: Missing is: "How to beat the shiat out of your tormenter" and "Looking so crazy no one will fark with you"


That second one was all I needed in school. Never got bullied at the school I was at most, and I only had to choke one kid at the "new" school I moved to Sophmore year. After that, I think it really sank in that if you left me alone, I wouldn't acknowledge you in the least. Try to shove your friend in to me every day in between classes, and I'll spit in your face and tell you I'd die smiling as long as I was wearing your face like a mask.

/that kid was such a pussy
 
2012-12-10 07:09:46 PM  

1. The weak will be dominated by the strong.


Is the one lesson my otherness taught me and I chose to get strong.
 
2012-12-10 07:10:43 PM  
FTA: 6. Give Up On Revenge

No.

img10.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-10 07:10:49 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: doyner: /please vote "smart" for this post

Seriously? That's just sad.


media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-10 07:11:08 PM  
bullies
the unpaid warden assistants of school

p*ss off the teacher and they withdraw "protection" from the bullies
 
2012-12-10 07:13:22 PM  

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: FTA: 6. Give Up On Revenge

No.

[img10.imageshack.us image 320x240]


25.media.tumblr.com
 
TWX
2012-12-10 07:13:58 PM  
Learn to dance

Real partner dance, be it ballroom/smooth/latin/swing/square/two -step requires technical skill, and there are actually women there. Better yet, you get to put your hands all over them for five minutes and they thank you for it when you're done. It's an activity that requires at least a modicum of brains among men, who lead the dance, and it's very numbers-oriented.

I participated in several scenes. BBSing. user groups. High school marching band. Sci-fi/fantasy Fandom. Drum corps. Geeky side of college. Goth. Rocky Horror. Coffee houses. Alternative bookstores. Swing dancing is what ultimately worked. Now I have a beautiful rocket scientist wife who enjoys many of the same intellectual pursuits that I do and generally accepts those pursuits that she doesn't share.

/dnrtfa
 
2012-12-10 07:14:15 PM  

ShawnDoc: 4. The alcohol tolerance you built-up from drinking alone in your room - Helps you keep your wits about you when making business deals over drinks with Russian or Japanese business people
5. The hatred for everyone around you? Makes you the perfect hatchetman when it comes to cost cutting. After all, had you known them in high school they likely would have bullied you. Now they're the ones sobbing on the way home, and you're getting a bonus for making the company more efficent
6. Friends, what are those? They're what holds you back by taking time away from work while you pretend to give two shiats about their life or look at photos of their kids. Your friendless lifestyle makes it that much easier to impress your boss with your commitment to the job by putting in those extra hours while all your coworkers are wasting their time hosing BBQ's for friends or going out to watch Timmy's soccer game.


Those are surprisingly relevant to me and kinda bleak and dark.
 
2012-12-10 07:15:43 PM  
Gets better?

No, no it doesnt. fark you. Eventually you just get old enough to drink away the pain. With "it gets better" being said, I'm not even going to check your farking list. Just fark you. My god, just fark you. I wish there was a god just so I could pray to him to fark you and all the rest of them.
 
2012-12-10 07:16:06 PM  

wildcardjack: ShawnDoc: 4. The alcohol tolerance you built-up from drinking alone in your room - Helps you keep your wits about you when making business deals over drinks with Russian or Japanese business people
5. The hatred for everyone around you? Makes you the perfect hatchetman when it comes to cost cutting. After all, had you known them in high school they likely would have bullied you. Now they're the ones sobbing on the way home, and you're getting a bonus for making the company more efficent
6. Friends, what are those? They're what holds you back by taking time away from work while you pretend to give two shiats about their life or look at photos of their kids. Your friendless lifestyle makes it that much easier to impress your boss with your commitment to the job by putting in those extra hours while all your coworkers are wasting their time hosing BBQ's for friends or going out to watch Timmy's soccer game.

Those are surprisingly relevant to me and kinda bleak and dark.


Aaaaaand another sociopath heard from.
 
2012-12-10 07:16:48 PM  

ko_kyi: ShawnDoc: 6. Friends, what are those? They're what holds you back by taking time away from work while you pretend to give two shiats about their life or look at photos of their kids. Your friendless lifestyle makes it that much easier to impress your boss with your commitment to the job by putting in those extra hours while all your coworkers are wasting their time hosing BBQ's for friends or going out to watch Timmy's soccer game.

Some nerds end up making enough money to have other people hose their BBQ for them.


Ladies and gentlemen, the feared typo bully!
 
2012-12-10 07:17:40 PM  

orclover: Gets better?

No, no it doesnt. fark you. Eventually you just get old enough to drink away the pain. With "it gets better" being said, I'm not even going to check your farking list. Just fark you. My god, just fark you. I wish there was a god just so I could pray to him to fark you and all the rest of them.


You shouldn't say that. Someone has to make all the alcohol you drink. You might contribute a lot but it's so much easier to buy it instead of brewing it.
 
2012-12-10 07:18:09 PM  

real_headhoncho: Missing is: "How to beat the shiat out of your tormenter" and "Looking so crazy no one will fark with you"


This. That worked very well for the four school I attended to.
 
2012-12-10 07:18:20 PM  

orclover: Gets better?

No, no it doesnt. fark you. Eventually you just get old enough to drink away the pain. With "it gets better" being said, I'm not even going to check your farking list. Just fark you. My god, just fark you. I wish there was a god just so I could pray to him to fark you and all the rest of them.


Obviously you were home schooled.
 
2012-12-10 07:18:59 PM  

orclover: Gets better?

No, no it doesnt. fark you. Eventually you just get old enough to drink away the pain. With "it gets better" being said, I'm not even going to check your farking list. Just fark you. My god, just fark you. I wish there was a god just so I could pray to him to fark you and all the rest of them.


Bitter much? How long are you going to let that shiat control you? Let it go, man. It's the only way to live a reasonably healthy emotional life. Good luck.
 
2012-12-10 07:20:24 PM  
I used to play D&D and read comic books. Then I got laid and starting playing guitar, and got laid a lot more. Never been bullied. Never a bully.

/wow there some sad little stories on this thread so far.
 
2012-12-10 07:20:53 PM  

Rezurok: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: doyner: /please vote "smart" for this post

Seriously? That's just sad.

[media.tumblr.com image 452x339]


Yes, yes. I've already owned my idiocy. Check my second post.
 
2012-12-10 07:23:07 PM  

Some 'Splainin' To Do: L.D. Ablo: What ever happened to giving shiat right back?

Insults for insults and fists for fists.

Under the charmingly romantic theory that bullies are just a bunch of pussies that fold the moment you swing your scrawny fists at them, right?

Yeah, about that: it makes for great cinema (see: A Christmas Story), but, nine times out of ten, the real life version of that does not end up with the bully wearing the cast.

The thing about real world bullies is that they're pretty good at picking out the kids who aren't going to put up a physical challenge even if they do fight back, so this whole "punch the bully!" line of advice is actually some of the shiattiest that you can give a kid who's getting picked on.


I don't advice nerds to punch the bully.

I advise nerds to take up some kind of martial art. It'll do wonders for self-discipline, keeping calm, and self-esteem. And if really really needed, you can break the bully's arms in under five seconds.
 
2012-12-10 07:24:08 PM  
It's always been my expereince that bullies engage in this type of behaviour because they think they can get away with it. They pick their targets and focus on people who they know or at least strongly suspect won't retaliate. They carry on their activities in front of an audience who they know agrees with them. They use the lunch room and the class room more than the school yard because there is close adult supervision and they know where the line is that will get a teacher involved. The don't want you to feel bad as much as they want others to think higly of them.

Then again all middle schoolers are essentially sociopaths and should be caged from about 12 until 16 or so.
 
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