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(Everett Herald)   Today's small town police blotter chuckles brought to you by Everett WA   (heraldnet.com) divider line 76
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20067 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 2:39 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-10 10:51:10 AM
"Arlington: While taking her DOL driving test a 16-year-old female failed to put the vehicle into drive and backed into a fence."

Meh. One of my classmates backed into the corner of the police station during his driving test and knocked 2 bricks loose. They made him wait 2 weeks before he tried again. Memories..........
 
2012-12-10 11:04:06 AM
A 59-year-old man reported the theft of a set beaver trap.

Wanted for questioning:

i212.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-10 11:06:15 AM
Mukilteo: (Caller) reported a naked female in the store. Officers contacted subject. She was not wearing any pants and could not explain why she was trying to shop without any pants on. She was not any danger to herself or others and ultimately was given a (ride) back to her home.

Sounds like someone I know -- the crazyiest person I ever knew was from that area.
 
2012-12-10 11:33:10 AM
Police were called to a domestic dispute between a boyfriend and girlfriend. She went to the store and did not come home. Turns out she went to the casino for a couple of hours.

Gambling problem?
 
2012-12-10 11:54:41 AM
I didn't realize French Fries were that distracting.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2012-12-10 12:37:25 PM
Mukilteo: (Caller) reported a naked female in the store. Officers contacted subject. She was not wearing any pants and could not explain why she was trying to shop without any pants on. She was not any danger to herself or others and ultimately was given a (ride) back to her home.

Why hasn't the "How did I get here, and I can't find my pants" excuse ever worked this well for me?
 
2012-12-10 01:03:08 PM
I want to know what band was headlining on top of the trailer.
 
2012-12-10 02:44:25 PM

Thelyphthoric: I want to know what band was headlining on top of the trailer.


I want to know why first she was looking for her German shepherd on top of the trailer. Most people can't think that fast when they're drunk.
 
2012-12-10 02:46:50 PM
OMG CHUCKLES!!!! 
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-10 02:49:37 PM

Gyrfalcon: Thelyphthoric: I want to know what band was headlining on top of the trailer.

I want to know why first she was looking for her German shepherd on top of the trailer. Most people can't think that fast when they're drunk.


The dog was almost not quite believable, but the band... wait maybe the dog was the lead singer?
 
2012-12-10 02:49:40 PM
Everett isn't a small town.
 
2012-12-10 02:49:54 PM
I'd like to meet the shopper with no pants
 
2012-12-10 02:50:13 PM
That article was about as funny as The Jay Leno Show.
 
2012-12-10 02:50:21 PM
Did you know that poutine really sticks to a scarf?
I discovered this Sat. night when I went into a store and found half my dinner attached to me. It gave me something to snack on while I waited in line at the checkout.
 
2012-12-10 02:51:22 PM
Kind of lame actually. My favorite one from the local paper in a college town consisted of someone reporting that their dorm had been broken into and a skunk was placed under their bed, also their favorite jersey was stolen. That was right up their when someone reported the General Lee stolen from outside of a bar, which officers later learned was an orange bicycle.
 
2012-12-10 02:52:39 PM

Salmon: I'd like to meet the shopper with no pants


IRL Women who don't wear pants in public look NOTHING like the women who don't wear pants on the internet. Trust me.
 
2012-12-10 02:53:04 PM
Mukilteo: The parents of a 9-year-old female reported that the child ran away from them after a temper tantrum, was hiding behind the trees and would not come back. The officer walked over to the juvenile and escorted her back to the parents.

Really, parents? REALLY? I don't even...
 
2012-12-10 02:54:06 PM
Amusing, but no one beats Bozeman for consistently WTF police blotter stories.

https://www.facebook.com/chroniclepolicereports
http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/police_reports/
 
2012-12-10 02:57:49 PM

SoCalChris: Amusing, but no one beats Bozeman for consistently WTF police blotter stories.

https://www.facebook.com/chroniclepolicereports
http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/police_reports/


My grandparents are from Belgrade. They have some great stories about stupidity of others going back to the 60's
 
2012-12-10 03:00:01 PM

SoCalChris: Amusing, but no one beats Bozeman for consistently WTF police blotter stories.

https://www.facebook.com/chroniclepolicereports
http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/police_reports/


The Arcata Eye is the best.

Link
 
2012-12-10 03:01:23 PM

Russ1642: Everett isn't a small town.


Heck, it was the Big City when I was young yokel growing up in the area.
 
2012-12-10 03:02:51 PM

Russ1642: Everett isn't a small town.


canarypapers.files.wordpress.com 
Everett is my kind of place.
 
2012-12-10 03:03:01 PM
The parents of a 9-year-old female reported that the child ran away from them after a temper tantrum, was hiding behind the trees and would not come back. The officer walked over to the juvenile and escorted her back to the parents.

That's some fine in situ parenting, Lou.
 
2012-12-10 03:04:11 PM

VTGremlin: Mukilteo: The parents of a 9-year-old female reported that the child ran away from them after a temper tantrum, was hiding behind the trees and would not come back. The officer walked over to the juvenile and escorted her back to the parents.

Really, parents? REALLY? I don't even...


Yeah, that's going to end well when she hits puberty.
 
2012-12-10 03:04:16 PM
I don't want to be pedantic, but Everett is the seventh largest city in the state.

/ Pedantic.
 
2012-12-10 03:04:18 PM

ChipNASA: OMG CHUCKLES!!!! 
[i.imgur.com image 850x637]


five more chuckles in your picture than in TFA
 
2012-12-10 03:08:12 PM

Maud Dib: SoCalChris: Amusing, but no one beats Bozeman for consistently WTF police blotter stories.

https://www.facebook.com/chroniclepolicereports
http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/police_reports/

The Arcata Eye is the best.

Link


Making sure someone covered this.
 
2012-12-10 03:08:50 PM

Smeggy Smurf: SoCalChris: Amusing, but no one beats Bozeman for consistently WTF police blotter stories.

https://www.facebook.com/chroniclepolicereports
http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/police_reports/

My grandparents are from Belgrade. They have some great stories about stupidity of others going back to the 60's


My father is from Clyde Park. They aught to name the tavern after him.
 
2012-12-10 03:13:52 PM

Rent Party: I don't want to be pedantic, but Everett is the seventh largest city in the state.

/ Pedantic.


I find this comment shallow, and pedantic.
 
2012-12-10 03:15:10 PM

ShadowLAnCeR: Rent Party: I don't want to be pedantic, but Everett is the seventh largest city in the state.

/ Pedantic.

I find this comment shallow, and pedantic.


I find your comment insists on itself
 
2012-12-10 03:20:50 PM

Salmon: I'd like to meet the shopper with no pants


Here you go.
 
2012-12-10 03:23:17 PM

Russ1642: Everett isn't a small town.


And only one of the police reports the paper decided to include was from Everett. Subby is probably deflecting white trash attention from his own town.
 
2012-12-10 03:24:56 PM

Pud: Mukilteo: (Caller) reported a naked female in the store. Officers contacted subject. She was not wearing any pants and could not explain why she was trying to shop without any pants on. She was not any danger to herself or others and ultimately was given a (ride) back to her home.

Why hasn't the "How did I get here, and I can't find my pants" excuse ever worked this well for me?


d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2012-12-10 03:27:49 PM

Maud Dib: SoCalChris: Amusing, but no one beats Bozeman for consistently WTF police blotter stories.

https://www.facebook.com/chroniclepolicereports
http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/police_reports/

The Arcata Eye is the best.

Link


Yeah but that whole blog/paper/high school current events thingy is written by two people that rewrite (and not link to the acutal stories) "briefs" for their own stoner amusement. The Eye is no better than TMZ on weed.
 
2012-12-10 03:31:46 PM
Stanwood: A 59-year-old man reported the theft of a set beaver trap.

It was me. Going out tonight to try to snatch some beavers.
 
2012-12-10 03:32:14 PM
Beautiful Everett, WA
 
2012-12-10 03:33:45 PM
Being that I'm from Stanwood, I'm really just happy to be on the map, personally.
 
2012-12-10 03:37:33 PM
If a person picks up the phone when you call, but doesn't say anything, how do you know the sex of that person?
 
2012-12-10 03:37:46 PM
Chris Everett?

img.youtube.com
 
PJ-
2012-12-10 03:42:41 PM

VTGremlin: Mukilteo: The parents of a 9-year-old female reported that the child ran away from them after a temper tantrum, was hiding behind the trees and would not come back. The officer walked over to the juvenile and escorted her back to the parents.

Really, parents? REALLY? I don't even...


I dunno, the way things look these days, it's probably the only way to handle your child if they are acting that way. If not, who knows what kind of lawsuit you will be hit by by the time they turn 18.
 
2012-12-10 03:42:55 PM

Rent Party: I don't want to be pedantic, but Everett is the seventh largest city in the state.

/ Pedantic.


It's surrounded by small towns, it appears. Do all those little towns have their own newspapers?
 
2012-12-10 03:44:35 PM
I assumed it would be the blotter from Alaska. That was disappointing.
 
2012-12-10 03:47:18 PM
Today's small town police blotter chuckles unfunnies brought to you by Everett WA

a slow week in Atlanta is 50x better than this snoozefest.
 
2012-12-10 03:51:38 PM
Mukilteo: The parents of a 9-year-old female reported that the child ran away from them after a temper tantrum, was hiding behind the trees and would not come back. The officer walked over to the juvenile and escorted her back to the parents.

Parenting fail!
 
2012-12-10 03:56:48 PM
"After rolling their vehicle near Hyalite Dam a driver left the scene, but not before leaving a note that said that everyone was fine and that they'd be back for the vehicle later."

"A caller who was slurring badly and rambling reported that he was punched in the face by a "white kid" at 2:45 a.m."



LMAO
 
2012-12-10 04:01:20 PM
"Stanwood: A 59-year-old man reported the theft of a set beaver trap."
Now he's going to have to buy a new sixer of Mike's Hard Lemonade.
 
2012-12-10 04:09:30 PM

twfeline: If a person picks up the phone when you call, but doesn't say anything, how do you know the sex of that person?


If Barry White's soundalike answers, you can make an educated guess.
 
2012-12-10 04:10:29 PM

SnarfVader: A 59-year-old man reported the theft of a set beaver trap.

Wanted for questioning:

[i212.photobucket.com image 352x234]


Subby pay attention. That would have gotten my 2 clicks.

/59-year-old man reported the theft of a set beaver trap.
 
2012-12-10 04:12:22 PM
Notice the fark handle? Mukilteo is my home town and I get to read these police blotter details everyday. It's amazing that we haven't been recognized before! I am so proud right now!
 
2012-12-10 04:19:08 PM

Mukster: Notice the fark handle? Mukilteo is my home town and I get to read these police blotter details everyday. It's amazing that we haven't been recognized before! I am so proud right now!


I love Mukilteo. Even though it's home of Horse's Ass Tim Eyman.
Need to head to the Diamond Knot one of these days when I have money again. :)
 
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