FARK.com: (7478003) Man has been suffering from amnesia since being discovered naked, unresponsive and covered with fire ant bites behind a Burger King dumpster in August 2004. Remember that the next time you think you're having a bad day

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		Man has been suffering from amnesia since being discovered naked, unresponsive and covered with fire ant bites behind a Burger King dumpster in August 2004. Remember that the next time you think you're having a bad day (abcnews.go.com)		90
		More: Scary, Jane Doe, internet, internaut

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6852 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 10:31 AM | Favorite | share:

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basemetal		2012-12-10 09:56:10 AM

Well, I was all about to go all "Damned bath salts" on this guy, but this happened before bath salts, so..........

gopher321		2012-12-10 10:18:32 AM

Dad?

texdent		2012-12-10 10:33:35 AM

Just hit him over the head. That should clear things up.

kbronsito		2012-12-10 10:33:47 AM

Has he shown any ninja skills?

Tyee		2012-12-10 10:34:00 AM

yeah, I never want to do that again.

Random Anonymous Blackmail		2012-12-10 10:34:07 AM

So does he carry a notepad to remind him of everything (name, ect..) just in case.

The Bunyip		2012-12-10 10:34:57 AM

I once got amnesia in a Burger King bathroom...

/I'm a freak
// l like the girls with the boom

AdolfOliverPanties		2012-12-10 10:35:56 AM

My friend just interviewed this guy and the documentary filmmaker making the movie about him. Pretty interesting. WorstShowOnTheWeb.com

IAmRight		2012-12-10 10:36:39 AM

Pretty sure I wouldn't want to remember what led me to that situation.

Carn		2012-12-10 10:36:57 AM

Forgive me if this is out of line, but should they perhaps go check with any local meth or crack houses?

I mean, what is the likelihood that a normal productive member of society (who would have at least one of a. friends, b. family, c. employer) who would have had somebody put out a notice on him going missing.

cgraves67		2012-12-10 10:37:00 AM

he ordered the Whopper?

H31N0US		2012-12-10 10:38:24 AM

That's Clay Morrow.

Carn		2012-12-10 10:39:01 AM

^he was a

grammar fail

JohnCarter		2012-12-10 10:39:45 AM

Wasn't this a Gilligan's Island plot?

TanHamster		2012-12-10 10:40:03 AM

John Wheeler, back from the dead?

reillan		2012-12-10 10:41:16 AM

You had me until "fire ants"

no icon tact		2012-12-10 10:41:20 AM

Some roofer started using my EIN for about 2 years, he should certainly stick to building/contracting/sub, most of those guys aren't using real TINs. Heck, it would be a selling point in hiring him!

Grapple		2012-12-10 10:41:59 AM

AdolfOliverPanties: My friend just interviewed this guy and the documentary filmmaker making the movie about him. Pretty interesting. WorstShowOnTheWeb.com

Hmm... I also have a friend associated with that show... do I know you? :)

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-12-10 10:42:59 AM

Following the documentary's release, Kyle was able to get a special Florida state identification card, but still doesn't have a birth certificate or Social Security number.

At least he can buy beer

ChromoSomes		2012-12-10 10:43:52 AM

I can remember if I've ever had amnesia.

The Angry Hand of God		2012-12-10 10:44:13 AM

TappingTheVein		2012-12-10 10:44:48 AM

He's obviously a time traveler from the future, specifically a time period where porn 'staches are back in style.

NeoBad		2012-12-10 10:45:42 AM

Sounds like the FBI ought to train him...no finger prints or known database records...sounds like he would be a great addition to any undercover operation etc, I mean other than he is probably addicted to bath salts and sleeps in the burger king dumpster...

blatz514		2012-12-10 10:46:13 AM

Now, with the help of a website, a documentary, Reddit and Twitter, people are rallying behind Kyle to solve the mystery of his identity or, at the very least, to attempt to help him get a new Social Security number.

And now Fark. The man is doomed.

stuffy		2012-12-10 10:47:03 AM

Naked and covered in Fire Ants. Sounds like there might be more than family out looking for him.
May not like finding out who he is.

gingerjet		2012-12-10 10:47:40 AM

FTFA They aren't eligible for health insurance, can't pay rent or get a driver's license.

Why? All he needs is a job to pay rent. And all he needs to do is to prove he can drive to get a license.

He has been told that because of the presumption that he was given a Social Security number at some point, he cannot get another one.

Bullshiat. People get a new SSN all the time due to identity theft.

/I'm sympathetic to the guy but the article is poorly researched

DrowningLessons		2012-12-10 10:48:21 AM

That's Ryan Gosling from the future.

Next.

ChromoSomes		2012-12-10 10:48:48 AM

It's too early in the morning. Let me try that again.

I can't remember if I've ever had amnesia

ausfahrk		2012-12-10 10:49:23 AM

"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I chase it with bath salts."

abhorrent1		2012-12-10 10:50:05 AM

Why can't he get a SSN or ID? The FBI can't set this guy up with a new identity? They do it all the time.

IAmRight		2012-12-10 10:50:35 AM

stuffy: Naked and covered in Fire Ants. Sounds like there might be more than family out looking for him.
May not like finding out who he is.

Nah, if you're by a fast-food dumpster, "covered in fire ants" is kinda redundant.

Randal2477		2012-12-10 10:52:12 AM

Just food for thought:

If he has no idea who he is or how he got there, how does he know he's 64 years old? In the article, he mentions being that age and "due to my social and economic background, I figure I have 10 years left"

Oddly specific....

biyaaatci		2012-12-10 10:53:44 AM

The Bunyip: I once got amnesia in a Burger King bathroom...

/I'm a freak
// l like the girls with the boom

I once got busy in a Burger King dumpster.

/Samoans!

ChipNASA		2012-12-10 10:54:04 AM

John Titor?
/heeh heeh....you said TIT..

ltdanman44		2012-12-10 10:54:35 AM

"He found himself personally frustrated with how few resources there are for the living unidentified"

There is enough fraud and corruption already with the living identified, that's why

KrispyKritter		2012-12-10 10:54:49 AM

He's a real nowhere man,
Sitting in his Nowhere Land,
Making all his nowhere plans
for nobody.

Doesn't have a point of view,
Knows not where he's going to,
Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Skarekrough		2012-12-10 10:56:33 AM

The lesson to be learned here is that you need to have your fingerprints in a federal database at least once in your life.

hp6sa		2012-12-10 10:56:54 AM

Randal2477: Just food for thought:

If he has no idea who he is or how he got there, how does he know he's 64 years old? In the article, he mentions being that age and "due to my social and economic background, I figure I have 10 years left"

Oddly specific....

He said he has some memories - like being exactly 10 years older than Michael Jackson. But yes, it's oddly specific.

He did an AMA on Reddit, mostly to ask for help in getting a new SSN - but it was odd. Lots of people offered to help finding out his actual identity, but he didn't seem all that interested. Either he's already heard everything that's helpful, or he's not that interested in finding out.

tetsoushima		2012-12-10 10:57:18 AM

Time travel is a biatch.

Primitive Screwhead		2012-12-10 10:58:06 AM

He should have switched to Direct TV.

cgraves67		2012-12-10 10:58:54 AM

Jon iz teh kewl		2012-12-10 10:59:13 AM

Skarekrough: The lesson to be learned here is that you need to have your fingerprints in a federal database at least once in your life.

that would be funny if somehow hello.jpg appeared in place of your fingerprint file

IAmRight		2012-12-10 11:00:42 AM

Primitive Screwhead: He should have switched to Direct TV.

This wins the thread.

fruitloop		2012-12-10 11:01:15 AM

Benjaman Kyle? I thought his name was Herb.

doczoidberg		2012-12-10 11:05:44 AM

Did they charge him as a sex offender for being nude in public?

xcv		2012-12-10 11:05:55 AM

No mention of how the websleuths board considers this to be a hoax? Part of their claim is that the initial police report, medical exam and interview with responding officer all claim there was no sign of physical injury on Kyle while he keeps playing up the 'near death,' serious injury aspect in the documentaries.

enderthexenocide		2012-12-10 11:06:09 AM

this is why you should always have some close friends or family members who would try to figure out what happened to you if you ever disappeared mysteriously. it's possible this guy lived alone, had no family, shifted from job to job, no real close friends. so if he gets amnesia and disappears, no one would think to go looking for him. his only real hope is that someone recognizes him.

tshauk		2012-12-10 11:06:38 AM

For some reason this guy just screams ex- military to me. I retired from the Armed Forces and can think of only 2 "organizations" that require a complete wipe of former identity, neither of which he would ever find through public channels.

That and he has a very slight pacific northwest accent, definitely not a Georgian where he was found.

Very odd story, with this much exposure no one has stepped forward to recognize him.

Snort		2012-12-10 11:07:05 AM

This is a hoax.

Primitive Screwhead		2012-12-10 11:08:29 AM

IAmRight: Primitive Screwhead: He should have switched to Direct TV.

This wins the thread.

i36.photobucket.com

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