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(Independent)   What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?   (independent.co.uk) divider line 65
    More: Amusing, toasters  
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18926 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 1:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-10 01:03:20 PM  
9 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2012-12-10 01:15:04 PM  
8 votes:
John has 32 cookies he eats 28 of them what does he have


diabetes
2012-12-10 10:43:35 AM  
8 votes:
i45.tinypic.com
2012-12-10 02:08:27 PM  
6 votes:
i208.photobucket.com
2012-12-10 01:15:46 PM  
6 votes:
what did the banana say to the uther banana?

Have you got a potty because I need a pee desporatly please!

No because we are at the beach. We will need to go home by a banana taxi we dont have a car.


meowsaidthedog-like typing detected.
2012-12-10 01:12:24 PM  
6 votes:
Submitted by Sarah P.
Q. Why did the potato cross the road?
A. to get to the postbox

3.bp.blogspot.com
2012-12-10 02:09:05 PM  
5 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: cgraves67: Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER WIFE !!!!

That's really, really funny from a child's husband's perspective.


My wife has asked, repeatedly, that I post a reply that this isn't funny.
2012-12-10 01:49:59 PM  
5 votes:
"Did you remember to use the Batroom?"
2012-12-10 01:24:43 PM  
5 votes:
British children are just like our children, only uglier.
2012-12-10 01:22:06 PM  
5 votes:
Two muffins are baking in an oven. First on says "boy, it sure is hot in here."

Second one replies "Oh my God, a talking muffin!!"
2012-12-10 01:02:28 PM  
5 votes:
"Zip Up and Swallow. "

/why no votie!!!??!?!?
2012-12-10 10:12:22 AM  
5 votes:
Q: Who told the gorilla he couldn't attend the ballet?

A: The person in charge of making that decision.
2012-12-10 09:50:44 AM  
5 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-12-10 08:22:56 AM  
5 votes:
"We're not coming back to this Justice League reunion again. I'm tried of you checking Superman's ass."
2012-12-10 02:32:01 PM  
4 votes:

maxheck: Carn:

Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!

I once told that joke to my littlest nephew at a family gathering, and he loved it so much he went around telling it to everyone.

Unfortunately, the concept of *timing* needed for that joke hadn't quite dawned on him.

/ was actually funnier to hear him tell it.


That joke was when I realized my son was going to be a handful. He learned that when he was about 5, and immediately began adapting it. First was "interrupting daddy". Interupting dadd- "DON'T TOUCH MY COMPUTER!". Then it was interrupting mommy. Interrupting mom- "BUY ME JEWELRY!". My wife failed to see the humor.
2012-12-10 02:06:45 PM  
4 votes:
The Batman joke is good. We need a whole series of them.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they jumped off the building?
A: Jump off the building!!!

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they slid down the pole?
A: Slide down the pole!

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they went to bed?
A: Slide down the pole!
2012-12-10 02:05:34 PM  
4 votes:
Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!
2012-12-10 01:37:24 PM  
4 votes:
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
2012-12-10 02:15:35 PM  
3 votes:
Not a joke, but my nephew has renamed eggs "liquid chicken". I am both grossed out and amused.
2012-12-10 02:01:10 PM  
3 votes:
A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender goes, "hey, we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper goes, "Wow, you have a drink named Steve!?"
2012-12-10 01:50:59 PM  
3 votes:
i1139.photobucket.com

My kid told me this one . . .
2012-12-10 01:50:57 PM  
3 votes:
A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"
2012-12-10 01:20:47 PM  
3 votes:

cgraves67: Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER WIFE !!!!

That's really, really funny from a child's husband's perspective.

2012-12-10 01:07:05 PM  
3 votes:
Carlos Mencia is working these into his act right now.
2012-12-10 08:01:09 AM  
3 votes:
Want some candy?
2012-12-10 08:00:40 AM  
3 votes:
A man found a raisin in the woods.
"what a funny looking raisin."
"im not a raisin im just an ant with no legs."


I think there is some profound meaning in that somewhere.
2012-12-10 03:18:11 PM  
2 votes:
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
2012-12-10 02:26:20 PM  
2 votes:
Carn:

Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!


I once told that joke to my littlest nephew at a family gathering, and he loved it so much he went around telling it to everyone.

Unfortunately, the concept of *timing* needed for that joke hadn't quite dawned on him.

/ was actually funnier to hear him tell it.
2012-12-10 01:55:12 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-12-10 01:40:59 PM  
2 votes:
Jesus Christ, it's the Joker with a 4 foot long revolver! Get in the car!
2012-12-10 01:30:10 PM  
2 votes:
Batman - "If I want any lip from you, I'll scrape it off my zipper."
2012-12-10 01:29:21 PM  
2 votes:
What's green and has wheels?

Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.
2012-12-10 01:27:36 PM  
2 votes:
what goes black white black white
a nun rolling down a hill


what is black and white and goes 'ha ha'
the nun who pushed her
2012-12-10 01:13:12 PM  
2 votes:
Q. What did the toliet say to the robot?
A. I dont know I wasnt there was I !!!

HA! Take that.
2012-12-10 01:12:28 PM  
2 votes:
Robin - "Holy kleenex, Batman! It was right under our noses and we blew it!"
2012-12-10 10:30:48 AM  
2 votes:
Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER!!!!



Now this one was funny.
2012-12-10 08:01:12 AM  
2 votes:
Q. Why did the farmer sleep on his bed
A. because all the animals took his pants off


Sounds like the kind of thing a farmer would tell his wife when caught in bed without any pants on, and a duck.
2012-12-10 07:58:12 PM  
1 votes:
Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.

Robin ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Batman?"


Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:

" Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
2012-12-10 04:58:47 PM  
1 votes:
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

I've always liked that one.
2012-12-10 04:30:39 PM  
1 votes:

djkutch: Not a joke, but my nephew has renamed eggs "liquid chicken". I am both grossed out and amused.


Eggs are hen fruit, milk is cow juice
2012-12-10 04:15:09 PM  
1 votes:
Why do ladies wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.
2012-12-10 04:13:39 PM  
1 votes:
A paraplegic walks into a bar...wait, no he doesn't.
2012-12-10 03:59:36 PM  
1 votes:
How do you arrange a party in outer space?

You planet.
2012-12-10 03:45:09 PM  
1 votes:

darth_badger: poop, poop, poop, poot, fart, poop, fart, fart, dookie...


www.i-mockery.com 

Dookie?
2012-12-10 03:40:39 PM  
1 votes:
A: So the bear wiped its ass with the rabbit
2012-12-10 03:33:43 PM  
1 votes:
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she was a woman.

/kthxbai.
2012-12-10 02:59:26 PM  
1 votes:
My favorite kids' joke:

Q: What's long, brown, and sticky?
A: A stick.
2012-12-10 02:15:41 PM  
1 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: British children are just like our children, only uglier.


snortgigglelol + a tiny guffaw of pee.

/runs to restroom
2012-12-10 02:10:56 PM  
1 votes:
My favorite....

"Two polar bears walk into a bar.

The third one ducks'"
2012-12-10 01:49:09 PM  
1 votes:
"It's not a car."
2012-12-10 01:44:36 PM  
1 votes:
Q. Why did the potato cross the road?
A. to get to the postbox

Didnt Dennis Leary swipe this from Jay Leno or something?
2012-12-10 01:39:37 PM  
1 votes:
Kids come up with some of the best racist jokes too, although they don't usually realize it. here's one from the tumblr page

What did the Mexican fireman call his two sons?

Hose A and Hose B
2012-12-10 01:38:41 PM  
1 votes:
I've told this one before but what the hell.

Q: What kind of a bee makes milk?
A: A boobie!
2012-12-10 01:36:51 PM  
1 votes:
"Now remember, if anyone asks, we have SEPARATE bedrooms"
2012-12-10 01:32:29 PM  
1 votes:
"You got some....on your chin....yeah, wipe that off..."
2012-12-10 01:29:35 PM  
1 votes:
wanna make $20 the hard way?
2012-12-10 01:28:06 PM  
1 votes:

tricycleracer: what did the banana say to the uther banana?

Have you got a potty because I need a pee desporatly please!

No because we are at the beach. We will need to go home by a banana taxi we dont have a car.

meowsaidthedog-like typing detected.


I would've guessed Indubitably
2012-12-10 01:22:00 PM  
1 votes:
Let go of my balls.
2012-12-10 01:21:42 PM  
1 votes:
"I'm the goddamn Batman!"

Only works when Robin is (age 12).
2012-12-10 12:24:53 PM  
1 votes:
The kids who had their submissions rejected are more likely to become comedians.
2012-12-10 10:43:42 AM  
1 votes:
I actually loved the Batman joke. 
 
I found it incredibly meta, deconstructing the very notion of joke telling itself. 
2012-12-10 09:47:23 AM  
1 votes:
Get your ass. In this car. Right now!
2012-12-10 09:41:13 AM  
1 votes:
Did you remember to untie Alfred?
2012-12-10 09:02:46 AM  
1 votes:
To which Robin replied, "I don't know but my ass really hurts."
2012-12-10 07:54:15 AM  
1 votes:
Have you turned the oven off, and made sure the front door's locked?
 
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