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(Independent)   What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?   (independent.co.uk) divider line 137
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18919 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 1:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



137 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-10 07:54:15 AM
Have you turned the oven off, and made sure the front door's locked?
 
2012-12-10 08:00:40 AM
A man found a raisin in the woods.
"what a funny looking raisin."
"im not a raisin im just an ant with no legs."


I think there is some profound meaning in that somewhere.
 
2012-12-10 08:01:09 AM
Want some candy?
 
2012-12-10 08:01:12 AM
Q. Why did the farmer sleep on his bed
A. because all the animals took his pants off


Sounds like the kind of thing a farmer would tell his wife when caught in bed without any pants on, and a duck.
 
2012-12-10 08:22:56 AM
"We're not coming back to this Justice League reunion again. I'm tried of you checking Superman's ass."
 
2012-12-10 08:36:26 AM
A: Did you tighten the lugnuts like I asked you to?
 
2012-12-10 09:02:46 AM
To which Robin replied, "I don't know but my ass really hurts."
 
2012-12-10 09:41:13 AM
Did you remember to untie Alfred?
 
2012-12-10 09:47:23 AM
Get your ass. In this car. Right now!
 
2012-12-10 09:50:44 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-10 10:06:27 AM
"Did you reload the Batapult?"
 
2012-12-10 10:12:22 AM
Q: Who told the gorilla he couldn't attend the ballet?

A: The person in charge of making that decision.
 
2012-12-10 10:30:48 AM
Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER!!!!



Now this one was funny.
 
2012-12-10 10:43:35 AM
i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-10 10:43:42 AM
I actually loved the Batman joke. 
 
I found it incredibly meta, deconstructing the very notion of joke telling itself. 
 
2012-12-10 10:47:28 AM

brap: I actually loved the Batman joke. 
 
I found it incredibly meta, deconstructing the very notion of joke telling itself.


The zombie one was pretty funny too just by making perfect sense and thus defying expectation
 
2012-12-10 12:24:53 PM
The kids who had their submissions rejected are more likely to become comedians.
 
2012-12-10 01:02:28 PM
"Zip Up and Swallow. "

/why no votie!!!??!?!?
 
2012-12-10 01:02:39 PM
"It's not holy, just get in the bloody car already"?

:RTFA:

Ohh, so close.
 
2012-12-10 01:03:20 PM
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-10 01:04:53 PM
Time for "The Flintstones" joke?
 
2012-12-10 01:05:00 PM
Cockrobin
 
2012-12-10 01:07:05 PM
Carlos Mencia is working these into his act right now.
 
2012-12-10 01:08:21 PM
I laughed at this one.

Q. What do you put in the toaster?
A. anser: bread.
 
2012-12-10 01:09:52 PM
Do your Taco Bell farts BEFORE you get in, not after. ¿Comprende?
 
2012-12-10 01:12:24 PM
Submitted by Sarah P.
Q. Why did the potato cross the road?
A. to get to the postbox

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-10 01:12:28 PM
Robin - "Holy kleenex, Batman! It was right under our noses and we blew it!"
 
2012-12-10 01:13:12 PM
Q. What did the toliet say to the robot?
A. I dont know I wasnt there was I !!!

HA! Take that.
 
2012-12-10 01:15:04 PM
John has 32 cookies he eats 28 of them what does he have


diabetes
 
2012-12-10 01:15:46 PM
what did the banana say to the uther banana?

Have you got a potty because I need a pee desporatly please!

No because we are at the beach. We will need to go home by a banana taxi we dont have a car.


meowsaidthedog-like typing detected.
 
2012-12-10 01:17:16 PM
Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER !!!!

That's really, really funny from a child's perspective.
 
2012-12-10 01:20:47 PM

cgraves67: Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER WIFE !!!!

That's really, really funny from a child's husband's perspective.

 
2012-12-10 01:21:34 PM
poop, poop, poop, poot, fart, poop, fart, fart, dookie...
 
2012-12-10 01:21:42 PM
"I'm the goddamn Batman!"

Only works when Robin is (age 12).
 
2012-12-10 01:22:00 PM
Let go of my balls.
 
2012-12-10 01:22:06 PM
Two muffins are baking in an oven. First on says "boy, it sure is hot in here."

Second one replies "Oh my God, a talking muffin!!"
 
2012-12-10 01:24:43 PM
British children are just like our children, only uglier.
 
2012-12-10 01:27:36 PM
what goes black white black white
a nun rolling down a hill


what is black and white and goes 'ha ha'
the nun who pushed her
 
2012-12-10 01:28:06 PM

tricycleracer: what did the banana say to the uther banana?

Have you got a potty because I need a pee desporatly please!

No because we are at the beach. We will need to go home by a banana taxi we dont have a car.

meowsaidthedog-like typing detected.


I would've guessed Indubitably
 
2012-12-10 01:29:21 PM
What's green and has wheels?

Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.
 
2012-12-10 01:29:35 PM
wanna make $20 the hard way?
 
2012-12-10 01:30:10 PM
Batman - "If I want any lip from you, I'll scrape it off my zipper."
 
2012-12-10 01:32:29 PM
"You got some....on your chin....yeah, wipe that off..."
 
2012-12-10 01:32:38 PM
Do you like fish dicks?
 
2012-12-10 01:33:17 PM

brap: I actually loved the Batman joke.

I found it incredibly meta, deconstructing the very notion of joke telling itself.


Meta indeed. And cute as hell.
 
2012-12-10 01:33:31 PM
Why you ask Two Dogs Farking?
 
2012-12-10 01:36:51 PM
"Now remember, if anyone asks, we have SEPARATE bedrooms"
 
2012-12-10 01:37:24 PM
What's brown and sticky?

A stick.
 
2012-12-10 01:38:41 PM
I've told this one before but what the hell.

Q: What kind of a bee makes milk?
A: A boobie!
 
2012-12-10 01:39:37 PM
Kids come up with some of the best racist jokes too, although they don't usually realize it. here's one from the tumblr page

What did the Mexican fireman call his two sons?

Hose A and Hose B
 
2012-12-10 01:40:20 PM

error 303: What's green and has wheels?

Grass. I was just kidding about the wheels.


The version I've been unloading on the younger kids in my life:

What's green, has lots and lots of teeth, and is made of cement? An alligator. (I lied about the cement.)
 
2012-12-10 01:40:59 PM
Jesus Christ, it's the Joker with a 4 foot long revolver! Get in the car!
 
2012-12-10 01:44:36 PM
Q. Why did the potato cross the road?
A. to get to the postbox

Didnt Dennis Leary swipe this from Jay Leno or something?
 
2012-12-10 01:47:10 PM

jaytkay: Submitted by Sarah P.
Q. Why did the potato cross the road?
A. to get to the postbox

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x302]


I love Tina Fey!
 
2012-12-10 01:48:08 PM

darth_badger: poop, poop, poop, poot, fart, poop, fart, fart, dookie...


Didnt Dennis Leary swipe this from some child or something?
 
2012-12-10 01:48:11 PM
What's long, brown, and sticky?

A stick.
 
2012-12-10 01:49:09 PM
"It's not a car."
 
2012-12-10 01:49:59 PM
"Did you remember to use the Batroom?"
 
2012-12-10 01:50:57 PM
A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"
 
2012-12-10 01:50:59 PM
i1139.photobucket.com

My kid told me this one . . .
 
2012-12-10 01:51:05 PM

dark side of the moon: I've told this one before but what the hell.

Q: What kind of a bee makes milk?
A: A boobie!


Didnt Dennis Leary swipe this from dark side of the moon or somethin?
 
2012-12-10 01:53:57 PM
f20.1addicts.com

"What was everyone looking at?"
 
2012-12-10 01:55:12 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-10 01:56:01 PM
Here are a couple really unfunny ones from the depressingly deep recesses of my memory, ones my sister and I used to tell to one another back in pre-school:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Shampoo.
Shampoo who?
Sham-POOOO, who locked you in jail... and he likes you in jail!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mimi.
Mimi who?
MimialligatorHOOOOO!
 
2012-12-10 01:57:01 PM

Counter_Intelligent: A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"


There is so much wrong with that joke.

/as if professors do any work
//Buzz Killington
 
2012-12-10 01:58:14 PM
That list soudned an awful lot like most Fark threads.
 
2012-12-10 02:01:10 PM
A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender goes, "hey, we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper goes, "Wow, you have a drink named Steve!?"
 
2012-12-10 02:01:44 PM
It's always fun to say you've got a good knock knock joke, but the other person has to start it, so when you reply 'Who's there?' you wind up just awkwardly staring at each other.
 
ows
2012-12-10 02:02:43 PM
Make sure to strap on, um in.
 
2012-12-10 02:05:34 PM
Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!
 
2012-12-10 02:06:45 PM
The Batman joke is good. We need a whole series of them.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they jumped off the building?
A: Jump off the building!!!

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they slid down the pole?
A: Slide down the pole!

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they went to bed?
A: Slide down the pole!
 
2012-12-10 02:08:27 PM
i208.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-10 02:09:05 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: cgraves67: Q. What person just talks and talks and talks
A. A TEACHER WIFE !!!!

That's really, really funny from a child's husband's perspective.


My wife has asked, repeatedly, that I post a reply that this isn't funny.
 
2012-12-10 02:10:56 PM
My favorite....

"Two polar bears walk into a bar.

The third one ducks'"
 
2012-12-10 02:15:35 PM
Not a joke, but my nephew has renamed eggs "liquid chicken". I am both grossed out and amused.
 
2012-12-10 02:15:41 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: British children are just like our children, only uglier.


snortgigglelol + a tiny guffaw of pee.

/runs to restroom
 
2012-12-10 02:17:36 PM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: Kids come up with some of the best racist jokes too, although they don't usually realize it. here's one from the tumblr page

What did the Mexican fireman call his two sons?

Hose A and Hose B


I've heard that one, but it was always, "What did the Mexican call his two peckers?"
 
2012-12-10 02:20:10 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-10 02:26:20 PM
Carn:

Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!


I once told that joke to my littlest nephew at a family gathering, and he loved it so much he went around telling it to everyone.

Unfortunately, the concept of *timing* needed for that joke hadn't quite dawned on him.

/ was actually funnier to hear him tell it.
 
2012-12-10 02:30:58 PM
I like the zombie one.
 
2012-12-10 02:31:03 PM
OK, I sweat more this time of year which causes the smell, but that doesn't begin to compare with your egg laying.
Also, why didn't you check the wheels on the batmobile before we left the cave, the Joker got away!
 
2012-12-10 02:31:53 PM

maxheck: Carn:

Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!

I once told that joke to my littlest nephew at a family gathering, and he loved it so much he went around telling it to everyone.

Unfortunately, the concept of *timing* needed for that joke hadn't quite dawned on him.

/ was actually funnier to hear him tell it.


My nephew learned it in the past year and loves it and the same thing happened. We've been getting mileage out of it by replacing cow with "fart" or anything else. Fart jokes are always funny.
 
2012-12-10 02:32:01 PM

maxheck: Carn:

Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!

I once told that joke to my littlest nephew at a family gathering, and he loved it so much he went around telling it to everyone.

Unfortunately, the concept of *timing* needed for that joke hadn't quite dawned on him.

/ was actually funnier to hear him tell it.


That joke was when I realized my son was going to be a handful. He learned that when he was about 5, and immediately began adapting it. First was "interrupting daddy". Interupting dadd- "DON'T TOUCH MY COMPUTER!". Then it was interrupting mommy. Interrupting mom- "BUY ME JEWELRY!". My wife failed to see the humor.
 
2012-12-10 02:33:10 PM
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?


Because it was dead.

/Yes, I pulled the wings off of flies for fun when I was a kid.
 
2012-12-10 02:41:52 PM
The best thing about little kid jokes isn't the jokes themselves but the hysterical way the kids laugh when they tell them.
 
2012-12-10 02:44:14 PM
The Aristocrats!
 
2012-12-10 02:46:57 PM
An inside joke?
 
2012-12-10 02:47:32 PM
FTFA: Q. Why did the cow cross the road? A. because it wanted to poo on a car.

I can't explain why, but this one made reading that entire list worth it for me.
 
2012-12-10 02:47:51 PM
My four year old has decided there's one form of answer that's funnier than anything else -

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow gonna eat you!!!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana gonna eat you!!!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dog
Dog who?
Dog gonna eat you!!!

After the 17th one, it starts to get funny.
 
2012-12-10 02:52:57 PM
Dnrta

- never ever again touch my radio
- You didn't call shotgun, get in the trunk
- I'm dropping you off back at the orphanage
- I'm a belieber.
 
2012-12-10 02:59:26 PM
My favorite kids' joke:

Q: What's long, brown, and sticky?
A: A stick.
 
2012-12-10 03:02:06 PM
Ah, Carn already told that one, oh well. The key is to sell it with hand gestures and facial expressions, until they're sure the answer can't be anything other than poop.
 
2012-12-10 03:03:01 PM
A Catholic, Hasidic Jew and a shiate Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender looks up says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
 
2012-12-10 03:10:44 PM
Holy rubbers Batman! Catwomans pregnant.
 
2012-12-10 03:18:11 PM
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
 
2012-12-10 03:22:38 PM
Here's one I made up to go along with the theme.

Why did the man poop on the chair?

He was in a doctor's waiting room and he didn't get his prescription for diarrhea medication in time.
 
2012-12-10 03:26:49 PM

Orgasmatron138: What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.


Hah! I didn't know we were allowing real jokes in this thread.
 
2012-12-10 03:27:39 PM
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. because it wanted to poo on a car.

Comedy gold.
 
2012-12-10 03:33:43 PM
Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car?

Because she was a woman.

/kthxbai.
 
2012-12-10 03:40:39 PM
A: So the bear wiped its ass with the rabbit
 
2012-12-10 03:45:09 PM

darth_badger: poop, poop, poop, poot, fart, poop, fart, fart, dookie...


www.i-mockery.com 

Dookie?
 
2012-12-10 03:48:25 PM

Carn: Best knock knock joke:

Knock knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting C-
MOOOOOO!


My daughter and I tell this one to each other all the time - with different animals, people, etc. After a few rounds, she gets all meta:

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting interrupter!
Interrupti...
INTERRUPTION!
 
2012-12-10 03:49:04 PM

Counter_Intelligent: A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"


Ooooooooooo! What does this button dooooooooooooo?

/surprised I'm not the only one to remember that joke.
 
2012-12-10 03:49:31 PM
Most of them were lame, but actually I laughed out loud at the Batman joke.
 
2012-12-10 03:59:36 PM
How do you arrange a party in outer space?

You planet.
 
2012-12-10 04:13:39 PM
A paraplegic walks into a bar...wait, no he doesn't.
 
2012-12-10 04:14:26 PM
What's brown and sticky?

Moist feces.
 
2012-12-10 04:15:09 PM
Why do ladies wear makeup and perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink.
 
2012-12-10 04:17:47 PM
"This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, "It says sprocket not socket!"
 
2012-12-10 04:25:13 PM

kid_icarus: A man found a raisin in the woods.
"what a funny looking raisin."
"im not a raisin im just an ant with no legs."

I think there is some profound meaning in that somewhere.


Don't eat the raisins you find in the woods.
 
2012-12-10 04:30:39 PM

djkutch: Not a joke, but my nephew has renamed eggs "liquid chicken". I am both grossed out and amused.


Eggs are hen fruit, milk is cow juice
 
2012-12-10 04:32:18 PM

Contrabulous Flabtraption: British children are just like our children, only uglier.


And more likely to cut you off at the knees.

American children collect boy and girl scout badges, Brits collect ASBOs.
 
2012-12-10 04:41:04 PM

MaliFinn: My favorite kids' joke:

Q: What's long, brown, and sticky?
A: A stick.


Winnie the Poo?
 
2012-12-10 04:44:32 PM

MaliFinn: My favorite kids' joke:

Q: What's long, brown, and sticky?
A: A stick.


King Richard

(Cockney rhyming slang for a "turd")
 
2012-12-10 04:48:34 PM

hundreddollarman: A Catholic, Hasidic Jew and a shiate Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender looks up says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"


That's shiate.

shiate Muslim.
 
2012-12-10 04:50:56 PM

ClamsGotLegs: "This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, "It says sprocket not socket!"


Well EXCUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEE.
 
2012-12-10 04:54:02 PM
My favorite joke as a kid:

Why can't Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder read?
-- Because they're black.
 
2012-12-10 04:58:47 PM
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

I've always liked that one.
 
2012-12-10 05:10:45 PM

Fool0ndahill:

/Yes, I pulled the wings off of flies for fun when I was a kid.


This reminds me of one of my favorites as a kid ...

Q. - What do you call a fly without wings?
A. - A walk.
 
2012-12-10 05:31:59 PM

doczoidberg: My favorite joke as a kid:

Why can't Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder read?
-- Because they're black.


What's the definition of "endless love?"

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
 
2012-12-10 05:42:12 PM

brantgoose: hundreddollarman: A Catholic, Hasidic Jew and a shiate Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender looks up says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

That's shiate.

shiate Muslim.


Looks like we both got filter-pwned.
 
2012-12-10 05:42:34 PM
AssAsInAssassin:

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

I've always liked that one.


What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.
 
2012-12-10 05:58:50 PM

Disgruntled Goat: ClamsGotLegs: "This lawn supervisor was out on a sprinkler maintenance job and he started working on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ gangly wrench. Just then, this little apprentice leaned over and said, "You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7″ wrench." Well this infuriated the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads to him and says, "The Langstrom 7″ wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket." Just then, the little apprentice leaned over and said, "It says sprocket not socket!"

Well EXCUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEE.


I don't usually tailor my references/shameless ripoffs, but I heard there was a plumber convention in town....
 
2012-12-10 06:13:17 PM

maxheck: AssAsInAssassin:

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.

I've always liked that one.

What's invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts.


What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
 
2012-12-10 06:46:09 PM
Two cowboys walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

-----

Captain, do ships this size sink very often?
No Ma'am, only one.
 
2012-12-10 06:46:58 PM
I spent a year doing presentations in middle schools and always asked the kids for jokes. Two that are still standouts to me:

What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

BA DUM BUM CHING

How do you get a hundred Pikachus on a bus?

You Pokemon.

/try the veal
 
2012-12-10 07:58:12 PM
Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.

Robin ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Batman?"


Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:

" Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."
 
2012-12-10 08:10:54 PM

Rickenbacker: hat joke was when I realized my son was going to be a handful. He learned that when he was about 5, and immediately began adapting it. First was "interrupting daddy". Interupting dadd- "DON'T TOUCH MY COMPUTER!". Then it was interrupting mommy. Interrupting mom- "BUY ME JEWELRY!". My wife failed to see the humor.



You got a smart kid, be proud. And give him something to do to use that energy constructively.
 
2012-12-10 08:14:55 PM
Genuine one from my childhood:

Q: What do you call a poo with a hole in its top hat?
A: A poor poo.

Strange the things that you remember.
 
2012-12-10 08:27:56 PM
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.


I've been trying to explain that joke to my daughter for years, and she still doesn't get it.
Clearly, she needs to watch more Monty Python.


My favorite stupid joke.
Q: Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
A: Wherever you left it.
 
2012-12-10 08:34:01 PM

jobskee: A: So the bear wiped its ass with the rabbit


I literally just told my kids that joke on the way to school the other day. They were still laughing when they got out of the car. Classic.
 
2012-12-10 09:14:10 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com

"Robin, your mother's a whore."
 
2012-12-11 12:18:09 AM
More silly jokes please :-) This has been the highlight of my day.
 
2012-12-11 12:24:51 AM
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Do not see the third installment. It is bizarre, cut together like a cheap suit and makes no farking sense. Also, they wink at you at the end. Also, they made Alfred cry for no damn reason and then this woman arrives out of nowhere as the baddie and made no damn sense whatsoever.

One last thing, if you see a freak with a NO2 inhaler strapped to his head, shoot his ass. He may be tough but the hucker ain't bullet proof and killing him in the first reel will save the investors in this movie about $100 million.
 
2012-12-11 01:19:36 AM

Deep Contact: Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep. Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.

Robin ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you, Batman?"


Batman is silent for a moment, then speaks:

" Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."


I've seen that one several times, but with Sherlock and Watson instead of Batman and Robin.
 
2012-12-11 05:36:59 AM
FTFS: a man thought he had the record for the smallest penis but came out of the record place saying "who the hell is Justin Beiber."

HA! Now that's comedy.
 
2012-12-11 10:02:42 AM
Bend over, I'll drive.
 
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